Chapter Text
For Venti, taking care of himself had gotten easier in time, but 'easier' didn't equate to 'easy.' The job as a maid café employee paid… Okay. Venti had a budget he had to stick to, made more complicated each time he went on a bender. It was a cycle. When things got too much, when the quiet of living alone ate at him too much, he'd go out drinking. People would buy him drinks, he'd buy him drinks, and then he'd wake up with the horror that he almost fell again.
That looming gaze that never left him, could any moment swallow him up and take away everything he worked so hard to get back. The friends that gave him a second chance, the ones who forgave him. The apartment, getting more furnished in time. The instruments he had gotten, was learning to fix from online tutorials. That he was haunted not by the ghost of his brother, but his own loss that threatened to drag him back under if he wasn't careful. So he clutched tightly to every raft he could. At the café, a few of the others teased he was something of the, 'café mom,' always checking on everyone, always stepping in if a patron tried to get handsy. Took shifts if someone was sick, took shifts if someone's kid was sick.
Venti believed he couldn't drown if he was too busy taking care of everyone else. Didn't realize that was a different kind of drowning.
Then Xiao was added to the already precariously and imbalanced mix. The extra shifts, the caring for two people full time… The time taken to go to the hotel, to ensure Xiao was eating, trying to find any family the man had. Only to learn most of his family had passed, and Venti could only stare out the hotel window while he rubbed Xiao's back. Clueless if the adoptive father didn't know or didn't care. Unsure how to move forward, terrified of approaching Zhongli given who he was and what Venti had done in the past. Would the man even let Venti tell him, or would he have Venti arrested?
Then who would take care of Xiao, the little bird that Venti was determined to save?
The hotel was cutting too deep into Venti's paychecks, but he felt guilty when he tried to take Xiao back to his home. Physically felt the ache as he watched the other breakdown in the darkness, in the emptiness of a home that would only see one of the five siblings anymore.
So he lied. Lied that the place Venti took Xiao to was a hotel, and took him back to Venti's place. Let Xiao stay in his room, while Venti curled up on his small couch. Pretended it was a hotel, that everything was fine. Pretended that he, Venti, was fine.
Until he came home, exhausted with food packed up for them both. The bonus of working at the café was he could save some money by taking anything extra home. It made it easier to care for two people on his income. As he entered, Venti was going over the mental list of what needed to be done. Of all the things that needed to be cleaned, the groceries, the laundry, the bills… Felt the weight of everything, and tried to ignore it. To ignore the way his head throbbed, because long before now he would have consumed his weight in alcohol to forget, to help push away the weight crushing him. But he couldn't. Xiao needed him, and all his money was going to keeping them both alive.
Some would even say Venti was experiencing withdrawal.
His foot didn't lift all the way, and he stumbled. The sleep deprivation robbed Venti of his reflexes, the thought to catch the box only registering after the container hit the floor in a clatter. The top hasn't been properly sealed, popped off and the contents that been barely contained exploded out. Pastries, soup, sandwiches, salads… By the time Venti was on his knees, trying to salvage what he could, there was almost nothing left to save.
And that was when he broke.
Crumpled over the giant mess that spread across the front room, unable to hold back the tears as the stress took hold and exploded. "Fuck!" He screamed, slamming fists onto the floor and not caring what it landed in. Screamed when he slid forward, the jam making him slide until he was face first into dirty food.
The failure to even cry with dignity was too much.
"Hello?" Xiao's voice, disoriented and confused added itself to the blend of it all. More tears fell, because what was he supposed to do? He couldn't take care of himself. Why did he think he could take care of this whole other person? Couldn't give a response, only wailed. "Are you… Okay? Did you get hurt?" Instead of leaving at the sight, Xiao stayed. Even came closer, his shadow indicating he was trying to look for blood.
“No." Venti couldn't stop the words anymore than he could the sobbing. "I fucked up, I can't do anything right.”
"…" Initially there was silence from Xiao, and Venti assumed any second he would leave. Hoped he would leave. But instead… A hand reached down, and gently pat Venti's head. Then those fingers ran through his hair, kind and patient. "It's okay to cry. But… You didn't mess anything up." It had been the calmest that Xiao had spoken in the time the two knew each other. The hand never stopped caressing Venti's hair, but the other began to fiddle with the spilled food. "I'm no expert on food-based art, but this. This is wonderful." It was a bizarre claim to make, but it was weird enough that Venti could pause long enough to breathe. "The textures blend really well together. I like these colors. They're… Good colors. And best of all…" Eyes blurry, Venti lifted his head slightly.
Watched as Xiao grabbed a pastry that was on top, not quite touching the floor, and took a bite. "It's edible. Five sec-… Minute rule. See? It's art and dinner. I love it. You did great." It was surreal. To be a low as he was, and yet Venti was being comforted by the person he had been trying to save. Instead of letting himself sink further into thinking how sad it was that Xiao had to comfort him… Venti marveled at readily Xiao had moved to comfort Venti. That Xiao's first reaction to hearing Venti cry, was to make sure he was okay. To console him, and brush his hair as if it had been Xiao taking care of Venti this entire time instead of the other way around.
That Xiao was even willing to try eating dirty food… A weak laugh left Venti. "Don't eat that. You'll get sick." He said, leaning into the hand still combing his hair.
"…But you put a lot of work into it. I want to." Xiao had an odd sadness to his voice, worried eyes watching Venti.
"You want to get sick?" Venti asked, raising a brow while he shamelessly wiped his snot off on his sleeves. He needed to do laundry anyway, it didn't matter.
"…Fine. But I want a photo, first." Xiao mumbled, almost petulantly. "Will you… Be all right? I'll be right back." He sounded so reassuring, as if afraid if he left Venti would run away. Forcing a smile, Venti put a hand on the other still in his hair.
"I will." Venti soothed, and with that Xiao shuffled away. Within minutes he was back, more than just his phone in hand.
"Art with the artist." Xiao announced, taking a photo with his phone. Sighing in resignation, Venti did a few poses with the mess. Even smiling slightly at the end, unable to contain the growing amusement at the absurdity. Forgot how to breathe when Xiao smiled back, spotting the ones Venti made. And then Xiao was putting a sweater over Venti's head, mumbling, "you need this more," as he did so.
By the end, Venti had on a large hoodie that definitely had bird features. Complete with the zip option to seal the hood over the wearer's face, equipping them with face and beak.
Next, Venti found Xiao helping him clean up the spilled food. Two hands made the work quick, and the way Xiao kept checking on him made it… Nicer.
People had become afraid of asking Venti if he was, 'okay.' But Xiao didn't, not after that first time. Understood that Venti was no more, 'okay,' than Xiao was. But he still checked in. "Did you bruise?" "Did you twist anything?" Little things, tests and outs constantly offered if Venti needed them. That there was, finally, the chance to simply walk away made the overwhelming… Optionable.
With the ruined food cleaned and tossed, Xiao guided Venti into the living room. Wordlessly started gathering chairs, blankets, and as he watched Venti caught on. Joined in helping build the blanket fort, the opening in front of the TV. Tried to ignore the heat building as a Xiao filled the air with compliments. "See? Nice and steady. You're good at this." The way Xiao took to heart that Venti didn't feel enough, and seemed to make it his job to build not just the blanket fort, but Venti back up. "I'll get that." Xiao announced when there was a knock at the door.
He couldn't just sit and not see what that was about. Venti followed after, eyes wide as the smell of pizza was easily identified even before the door was open. Xiao took the boxes, and closed the door. "…You ordered pizza?"
"I can afford pizza. You look hungry." Xiao stated simply.
The smart, responsible thing would have been to eat at the table. But that wasn't the night for responsibility, or to be smart. That was the night that Venti got to eat pizza with Xiao, beneath a blanket fort as the two watched movies. The sweater, the uniform, the blankets, Xiao's body heat, it was hot. Venti was sweating, but made no effort to escape the sweat trap he was in. Xiao's fingers still ran through his hair, and it was the most that Venti had seen the other eat. Could only smile as those fingers eventually stilled, and Xiao's head rested on Venti's shoulders.
Letting his own head rest against Xiao's, Venti took in a deep breath. Let his own eyes close, and took in the moment. Relished how good it felt, to be right there with Xiao. In the morning, he would need a shower. Just like he would if he had gotten wasted. But the difference was that this feeling wouldn't dissipate in the morning. These memories wouldn't be lost. No, this was a moment that Venti could treasure. This was living.
"And, over time… It became love." Venti finished, his version simpler, the loneliness downplayed and hidden beneath. "But I didn't want to take advantage of you. I just… Enjoyed being with you." He explained. "But I guess I ended up pushing you away, instead."
"…I don't… Really remember much of that." Xiao admitted, guilt in his voice. "I remember a blanket fort, and someone there. Someone that made me… Safe, but scared for them? Didn't even know it was you. But it makes sense now." The two were a sight, just hugging on a sidewalk, quietly talking instead of moving. Most people walked past the two, ignoring the oddness as they focused on their own circumstances. "Can't believe I ordered pizza. I don't even like pizza."
"Could have fooled me." Venti laughed, sinking into the warmth of Xiao. Into the reassurance that the other hadn't pulled away, that he hadn't made a mistake. "You ate two whole slices. I got lucky to get you to eat half of anything back then."
"Probably to get you to eat." Xiao reasoned, expecting his stomach to churn at the idea of the greasy pie. But, none came. Instead there was a quiet longing, not for the food but for the moment. Distorted, flickering like an old television with bad reception, was a memory. The smell, the sound, that warm reassurance of the person next to him, safe and calming down, taking a bite each time Xiao took one.
Perhaps he didn't hate pizza, at least not anymore.
"Probably." Venti agreed in a hum. The musical sound the other made reminding Xiao of everything else he wanted to say, to talk about. But more important than all the rest… "May I…" He started, looking down at the other. Felt that shyness slip away when Venti looked back up at him, patient and safe. "May I kiss you?"
"Promise I can kiss you back?" Venti countered, his smile reaching his eyes and causing Xiao's knees to wobble. That was a smile worth anything and everything.
"I promise." Xiao breathed, leaning down and sealing that very promise with just that: a kiss. Lips that barely touched, but lingered. Eyes closed, lips pressing closer. Held onto each other, the calm to the other's storm. The pain of loss would never truly be gone, and memories in that wake may not ever be recovered.
But they had each other. They had new joys to create with each other, with others. A blanket fort wasn't glamorous, but it was theirs to share. Pausing in the kiss, a grin on his face, a laugh left Xiao. "I just realized… I haven't seen that sweater in forever. You still have it!"
"You said I need it more." Venti replied, mischievous glint in his eye. "Any time I have a bad day, I put it on and it's instantly better." He explained, as if that justified clothing theft.
"Hot wired my father's car, hot wired my sweater-"
"And I'll do it again. The sweater. Not the car." Venti amended, moving to his toes so he could whisper into Xiao's ear, "Did you know Zhongli kept his keys under the seat? We didn't even have to hot wire the car!" He laughed, amused and delighted at the night's discovery. Pulling back, the greens of his eye diabolical. "You know what that means?"
"He's baiting you to try again?" Xiao mused, his own grin widening at a Venti's. "How about instead of living out your auto theft fantasies, you live out my fantasy of singing a duet together. It's 50% less of the crime, but 100% more of the me."
"That implies there's still some crime." Venti pointed out, raising an intrigued brow at the offer. An offer he wasn't avoiding this time.
"I'm willing to accept copyright strikes if they're done with you." Xiao confessed. "You're a criminal Venti, if I don't distract you with some crime you'll steal my entire wardrobe."
"You could steal mine in revenge?" Venti offered, beaming at him. "And if we're doing covers, if we do it right that's transformative content."
"I think you can fit into my clothes better than I can yours." Xiao countered. "You're more excited about flirting with machines than me, aren't you?"
"Then I guess you'll just have to go on dates with me to get your clothes back, huh? And I can multitask - I'm flirting with you and IPs. Best of both." Venti laughed, pressing their foreheads together. "But… You've been wanting a duet for a long time. I'll contain my 'Smooth Criminal,' long enough to give you that."
"We'll see." Xiao sighed, but his smile reached his own eyes as he pressed their noses together, and then their lips again. More than anything, he wanted to love Venti. And so far, he was loving each new piece the other so eagerly gave him. "…Can I call you still, when I miss them?"
"Of course. Could I… Call you when I miss him?" Venti asked, startling enough to create space between their faces at how easy it was to ask.
"Yes. Do you-"
"No, just… Thank you." Venti whispered, and kissed Xiao again.
"Venti, before I forget… There was something I wanted to tell you, before I told anyone else. You helped me realize it's where I wanted to be." Xiao waited, and when getting an encouraging nod, he spoke again. "I've changed my major. Your flute was the one thing that I always remembered. And when I was… More recovered, I looked into it. It's incredible what sound can do. I found research on using wind instruments like a harmonica to help with COPD, dementia patients that were ballerinas who forgot their own names but not a single step. And-" Stopping himself, he searched Venti's face for any signs of annoyance, of being frustrated that it was taking too long to, 'get to the point.'
But Venti's eyes were eager and excited, just as elated by these discoveries as Xiao had been when first seeing the headlines. A subconscious exhale left Xiao, the air leaving his lungs as he was breathless from the person that was with him. With him. "…Right. So." He cleared his throat, gathering himself together. "I'm studying music therapy, and I'll be working towards becoming a licensed therapist. You said to pay it forward, so… I'm going to learn the best way how."
"You already are the best way how." Venti murmured, kissing him again, and again. Pecks full of adoration, from someone that Xiao eagerly returned the gestures to.
The notes between were now the ones they shared.