Chapter Text
Sirius had actually picked out Lily’s WWN codename, after some consideration. She fought him on Leia Skywalker, Slug Club, Cokeworth, Ruler of All That is Evil, Flower, and Elvendork. It finally ended up being Doe, which was still pretty terrible, but better than Flower.
Maybe she should have picked Ruler of All That is Evil . Even still, it only took a little bit of fiddling with Sirius’ broadcast equipment to guess the password (currently: fuckoffbellatrix) and tap into the Order’s WWN network.
“This is Doe for Rome and Weasel , ” Lily said, interrupting a rumble of voices with Remus and Peter’s codenames, “Sorry to interrupt broadcast, but we have a bit of a situation.”
She was lying on the floor of Sirius’ study, surrounded by cables. James, in the other room, was scouring Sirius’ closets for something funeral-appropriate.
“This is Castor,”replied Fabian Prewett, “I hope it’s one hell of a situation, because we were talking about the Chudley Cannons.”
As a paramilitary organization, the Order was not supposed to talk about Quidditch teams on their secret broadcasts. But that didn’t stop anyone, and especially not the Prewett twins, who were almost as invested in terrible Quidditch teams as they were in the war effort.
“Holyhead’s better,” Lily replied, “We need them to come to Grim’s place.”
Lily had come up with that one; Sirius had whole-heartedly rejected Dickhead , Hamlet, and Oliver Cromwell Lord Protector of the Realm. An omen of death was probably better.
“Anything we should be worried about?” Gideon Prewett replied, “And they aren’t, Doe , don’t think we missed that.”
“Probably,” Lily said, “We’ll update you later. Just passing the news along. Oh! Wear formalwear, kids.”
“If any of you have access to Rome or Weasel pass along the information!” Fabian chirped, “Now that Doe’s done monopolizing the line, back to the Cannons - we’re still last in the league, but that could change anytime now.”
Lily snorted and turned off the radio. She hauled herself off of the floor and stepped very carefully over the sprawl of cables and radio equipment, closing the door behind her. Sirius’ bedroom was just across the hall. His bed was made neatly but there were Muggle motorcycle magazines spread across it, and James had scattered clothes across the floor.
“I found a pair of dress robes,” he said, gesturing. Sirius was a good four inches taller than James, but it was, Lily supposed, better than nothing. “Nothing for you, though.”
Lily glanced at the watch around her wrist. She ran through her mental list of shops in Tinworth, tugged out her wallet, and glanced at the sparse amount of Muggle bills inside it. She’d have to make do. “Give me fifteen minutes,” she said, “By the time Sirius’ floor is cleaned up, I’ll have something.”
Lily Apparated into Sirius’ living room fifteen minutes later, having traded ten pounds and her robes for a black dress that was a little too tight around her ribs and frayed at the bottom. Remus, sat on the couch in a worn suit, snorted at her.
Lily made a rude gesture. “Is Peter here yet?”
Remus shook his head. “No,” he said, “But I doubt it’ll take very long. Is there a reason you look like you’re in a shitty wizard rock band?”
“Listen, my other options were ‘hooker’ and ‘waitstaff.’”
“Fair.”
A crack sounded from the corner of the room. Lily and Remus both had wands out immediately, and Peter raised his hands and burst out with: “Lily, you used an atmospheric charm for the weather at your wedding.”
“Alright, I’m convinced,” Lily said, pocketing her wand.
“You used an atmospheric charm at your wedding? ” Remus said, “Lily, there were Muggles! That’s deeply illegal!”
“It’s really only illegal if they catch you,” Lily said, “And it was only a little one.”
“A tiny one,” Peter said, running a hand through his hair in a very teenage-James-like gesture, “I looked it up.”
Remus blew the air out of his cheeks. “Are you excited to crash a funeral?” he asked.
“Technically,” James said as he stepped into the living room, “We’re crashing a wake.”
“Whose wake?” Peter asked.
“Regulus Black’s,” Lily replied.
“You know that Bellatrix Lestrange will be there , right,” Peter said, “She hates us! And she’s crazy! And murderous!”
“All the better reason to crash the wake,” James said, “Sirius is going, Peter.”
“ Oh. Well, we have to go, then. He’ll get himself killed.”
“And besides,” Lily said, “Bellatrix Lestrange and I have some unfinished business.”
“If we’re settled on going,” Remus said, “You really ought to grab ahold of this Portkey.”
The Portkey was a long-trashed glove, somehow missing three fingers, that had once upon a time belonged to Peter. Lily didn’t know how Remus knew how to make Portkeys, or why he always used the same glove, but had long since decided that some questions were better left unasked. It was a handy talent, at least; Lily was sure that the Blacks had their country home locked down to unintended Apparition.
The Portkey was glowing a steady blue. Remus stood up, holding it out, and they all grabbed on.With a wrenching sensation in the depths of her gut, it yanked them out of Sirius’ living room.
Lily landed on top of Remus and under Peter and James. No matter how many times she took Portkeys, she maintained that they were the worst means of transportation in the world, magic or Muggle.
“Get off ,” she groaned, shoving at Remus-or-James’ side. With a great deal of swearing and kicking at one another, they managed to extricate themselves. Lily brushed out her skirts.
“Why did you dump us in a closet?” Lily asked, taking the opportunity to kick at Remus’ ankle.
“Because this is the only part of this house I’ve been in,” Remus said, making a face at her.
Lily decided that this was another one of those things that she wasn’t going to question.
“What’s the plan here?” Peter asked.
James shrugged. “I figured we’d wing it,” he said, straightening out the owl-shaped cufflinks he’d stolen from Sirius, “Keep Sirius from dying, maybe steal a fruit salad, say something rude to some ancient purist fuck, you know, the usual.”
“Oh, good,” Peter said, “I just wanted to make sure there wasn’t a real plan.”
Lily pushed open the closet door, and light spilled in.
It was hard to picture Sirius growing up surrounded by people this posh. A chandelier dangled from the ceiling. The massive table in the middle of the room was covered in bowls of fruit and pot roasts and elaborate meals; genuine china plates were scattered everywhere. A house elf skittered past her. Purebloods were mingling , and windows opened out onto the immaculately groomed and and terrifyingly massive lawn, where she could hear the sound of one of Sirius’ younger cousins laughing.
There were portraits and tapestries and she already felt like she was suffocating on perfume. The dress robes were new and immaculate and the accents were news show-perfect. Not for the first time, Lily was intensely relieved that though James’ family were purebloods, they weren’t this pureblood, and while they had money it was from a hair potion windfall rather than generations of systematic ridiculousness.
Without the sound of a shouting match, it was going to be exceptionally difficult to locate Sirius.
Remus straightened his tie. “God help us all,” he murmured, “I’ll check Regulus Black’s not-corpse.” He stalked off.
Peter had somehow ended up trapped by Lucius Malfoy. James grimaced and wandered off towards the sitting room. She’d been in the room for less than a minute and had already heard ‘mudblood,’ ‘the Dark Lord,’ and ‘dearest Bellatrix’. Lily, feeling significantly underdressed, vaulted down the porcelain-white spiral staircase as quickly as she could.
Her boots clunked against the staircase, earning her the look of a woman who had to be one of Sirius’ cousins.
The glass doors opened out onto the porch.
Lily spilled outside and leaned against the railing and wished for a cigarette. No wonder Sirius hated this so much; it was too much for her Muggleborn working class sensibilities already. She couldn’t imagine that he was inside if he wasn’t screaming at anyone.
The child she’d heard laughing earlier was standing on the lawn and blowing giant bubbles, while clapping. The girl couldn’t be older than five and Lily pushed herself off of the railing. She hopped down the white wooden stairs and walked over, thumbing the skirt of her dress.
“Hi!” the little girl said cheerfully.
“Hello there,” Lily said, kneeling down so that she was at the girl’s height, “I like your bubbles.”
“Thanks!” the girl said cheerfully, “I’m Sarah Macmillan.”
“Nice to meet you Sarah,” Lily said, “I’m Lily. Have you seen any boys hiding in the woods? Or a big dog?”
“There’s a boy up in a big tree,” Sarah said, “He told me he’s king of the forest. ”
That was exactly Sirius’ M.O.
“Thanks Sarah,” Lily said, “Want to see a neat trick?”
“Yes!”
With a wave of her wand, Lily made the bubbles change color. Sarah clapped excitedly and Lily stood up, walking hurriedly towards the woods.
The Blacks went for aesthetic trees. This, at least, aligned with Sirius’ personality. Lily trudged under the branches in her ridiculous dress, looking for something that just screamed Sirius. After a moment she started singing, trying to lure him: “Oh what a night, Back in December back in sixty three, what a very special time for me, As I remember, what a night.”
She was dreadfully out of tune.
Nothing. A bird chirped. Lily gazed upwards and kicked at a rock. “Oh what a night, You know I didn’t even know her name, But I was never gonna be the same, As I remember what a night.”
It wasn’t that Sirius didn’t like Frankie Valley; it was that he had a visceral reaction to any Muggle songs Lily had hummed incessantly at Hogwarts, when he could not hear muggle songs. She could go either way; an impulse against pop music had slowly dissolved when she was at school, and yearning for anything Muggle.
She still liked punk music best, though.
“Oh Iiiiiii / I got a funny feeling when she walked in the room / Hey myyyyy / As I recall, it ended -” her singing was cut off when a boot hit Lily in the back of the head.
“For fuck’s sake, Sirius!” she said, wheeling around.
He was perched in the tree, legs folded against himself, wearing a suit. High up and perched, he had a good view of the house. Lily trotted over and hauled herself up, depositing the boot on his branch. Sirius blew smoke rings from a cigarette.
“Your pitch needs work,” he said listlessly. She’d dragged herself up to the branch beneath him.
“Your attitude needs work,” Lily said, “I’m not one to attack your grieving process, but -”
“I can’t go in the house,” Sirius said, “Have you ever heard my mother? Speak words? To me?”
Lily shook her head. “No,” she said, “But I heard your second-cousin call for the extermination of muggleborns twice before I got out.”
Sirius grimaced. “Sorry,” he said, “I didn’t want any of you to come.”
“Yeah, well,” Lily said, ‘Next time, leave a note.”
“Do you still have that book?”
Lily nodded. “I’ll trade you a poem for a cigarette,” she said.
Sirius grinned, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He pulled a cigarette out of the box and passed it down to her. Lily held it in between her fingers and pulled the book of poetry out of her purse. “How do you feel about E.E. Cummings?” she asked, flipping to the earmarked page.
“I feel real good about whoever that guy is.”
“Next to of course god america i love you land of the pilgrims…” Lily said, running through the entire poem. Sirius’ eyes squished shut on ‘they did not stop to think they died instead’ and stayed shut through the end.
“Thanks,” Sirius said.
She lit the cigarette with her wand and blew a smoke ring at him. “Did it make you feel any better?”
Sirius shook his head. “That’s not why I wanted to hear it, though,” he said, “It’s not like you’re reading it to feel any better, are you?”
“No,” Lily said, “That’s not it.”
“I wanted to hear it,” Sirius said, “To give me something else to feel bad for.”
“That’s not why I’m reading it, either.”
“You’re not me.”
They sat in silence for several moments, blowing smoke rings. Sirius put out his cigarette on the tree trunk and vanished the remains. Lily tilted her head back so that it was leaning against the tree.
“We should probably go inside,” Sirius said.
“Probably,” Lily said, still not moving, “I have to talk to Emmeline, anyways.”
“Why?”
“Because,” Lily said, “She thinks you’re the spy.”
Sirius laughed, low and bitter. “Can you really blame her?”
“Of course I can blame her,” Lily said, eyes opening wide, “You gave up everything for the Order, and she’s a pureblood too, and she should have known better. I don’t care how scared she was.”
“You should.”
“I don’t.”
Sirius grinned at her. This time, the corners of his eyes crinkled up. “You take after James, sometimes,” he said cheerfully.
Lily closed her eyes again.
“We really should get going, though,” Sirius said.
Lily opened one eye. “And why’s that?”
“Because I’m willing to bet that James just set my mother’s roof on fire.”