Chapter Text
Sally opened the oven to take out the cookies, and immediately, a yelp escaped her lips.
"Mom? You okay?" Percy asked as he rushed to her side.
Gabe murmured something that sounded like a You okay? but didn't take his eyes out of the TV. Married with children was on. Percy was dying to tell him to turn that shit off, it was getting on his nerves.
"Shh, it's fine, it's fine," she said, holding her burned hand tightly against her chest. She tried for a smile for her son, but it didn't reach her eyes.
Sally Jackson was many things. Beautiful was one of them. Anyone could see that; with her long, brown, thick curls falling over her shoulder, her gentle smile, slightly crooked (and very Italian) nose, and so alive hazel eyes.
Her beauty, though, took a back seat when you got to actually know her. She was kind, loud, and funny and, oh, so loving. Things had changed a bit when Gabe came into their lives. Her eyes didn't sparkle as much anymore, her hair looked puffier and its color less vibrant, she got skinnier too. Even her nose and face features changed and crueler, scarier, ones came instead.
To her young son's eyes, she was still perfect. She was everything a mother should be, at least with the things that mattered.
But, what could Percy know about it, if Sally was the only thing he ever knew? It had been them against the world since the very moment that he was born.
Perseus Jackson was naïve, after all, he was only twelve. He couldn't see how far from perfect she was.
Sally Jackson wasn't okay, and her son was getting closer and closer to actually notice it.
He held her gaze. Her eyes made him feel uncomfortable. Something wasn't right. They were wide open, wild. Alert, euphoric, yet hollow.
Perseus knew that look all too well. Memories assaulted his mind.
Her glassy gaze, her wide smile. For the second time that week, she hadn't had any sleep. Percy noticed it in the way her hair was puffier than usual and her bloodshot eyes, restless.
It was 2AM. Sally knocked the door of Percy's room, startling him, and made her way in without waiting for a response.
"Percy, wake up," she whispered, "I've got an idea."
The idea: camping on the living room. It was going to be so fun! They'd get to watch his favourite movies; The Fox and the Hound, The Muppets, and even Labyrinth with that bizarre singer his mamma loved, and Karate Kid! She'd never let him watch that movie, it was too violent for her "bambino".
Percy would always argue that he wasn't a baby anymore. Hello, he was seven! His mom would laugh: Oh, you so are!
The idea was very tempting, of course, but he was tired too. And it was a school night, too! His mom wouldn't let him skip school. Not like staying home would be any more fun. He would have to stay with Gabe. Yeah, not happening.
"I don't know, mom..." he murmured, avoiding her gaze and pulling his blankets closer. Percy blushed; he didn't want his mom to think that he wasn't cool.
"Aw, come on, Perce! I promise it'll be fun. Tell you what, you can skip school tomorrow" she pushed while her fingers tangled with his messy hair.
Perseus rubbed his eyes, trying to brush off the sleepiness. He was wary of the idea, to say the least.
Sally's eyes darkened, slowly filling with reproach.
"I've already asked Erika to take the morning shift. And I'll have to work both her shift and mine the whole weekend in exchange." She paused, letting it sink in. "I did it for you, baby."
Guilt stroke him like a punch, straight on the face. His mom had taken that burden. Just for him. How could he be so ungrateful?
Determination came next. He would make anything to keep her mamma happy. It was the least he could do.
"Okay, let's do it!" He jumped out of bed and ran to the living room, his bare feet resonating against the old wooden floor.
After a few hours of watching movies in the fort they had made with cushions and blankets, Percy fell asleep. The last thing he saw before Hypnos took him to his realm, was his mom's frame, illuminated by the TV, humming to herself a melody that he recognised as an old lullaby that she would sing to him when he couldn't sleep.
It was Italian, her father had sung it to her when she was a kid too. It spoke about the ocean, its secrets and its hidden people. About the ocean and its beautiful violence.
When he woke up, she wasn't by his side anymore, and his step dad's shouting startled him.
"The fuck is this?!" he approached his nest of pillows on the floor with heavy steps, his face full of fury, towering over him. Percy flinched. What was happening?
Where's mom?
"ANSWER ME!" Gabe demanded. Veins bulged against his temples and neck, his fists clenched so tightly that you could almost see the bones underneath. It was then that Perseus noticed the piece of paper that the man had in his hand.
When Gabe noticed his eyes laying on the paper, he threw it at him. It landed on his lap. He took it with trembling fingers.
I'm okay! Went to visit Aunt Alice. I'll be back before you guys even notice. Be nice to each other!
P. S.: I left some food on the fridge. It should be enough for a few days.
Love,
Sally.
He froze. Not again. Please, not again.
"Who's Alice? Where does she live?"
"Her cousin." He lied, still feeling numb, but refusing to snitch on his mom.
"I cannot hear shit, punk, speak up!" He had gotten even closer. His hot breath brushing against Percy's face.
He pulled his knees closer to his chest as a feeling of loneliness and abandonment made his heart ache. Was she mad at me?
He couldn't even imagine what he had done wrong―but it was Sally Jackson that they were talking about.
Being with her was incredible, exciting. She had a special way of making you feel like the centre of the world. She would stare at you with eyes full of love and caress your face with gentle and warm hands. Sally could make anyone feel like they were important. She gifted anyone that was willing a shoulder to cry on, an embrass to rest on, to be able to keep going. She encouraged you to don't give up. Sally had the super-power to turn tears into smiles; and hopelessness into determination.
Sally could be the Sun, but also the clouds that hide it.
And now she was hiding.
It wasn't the first time that she left with the poor excuse of visiting some relative that didn't even exist. She would always leave at night—when the whole world was sleeping but she was too restless to follow their example— and she would never pack a bag. Sometimes Percy would hear her leave, but he could never find the courage to say goodbye.
Sally was gone, and nobody could change that.
"I said, speak up!" He was growing restless, and if Percy didn't snap out of it, he was going to get beaten up. He could sense it.
"Alice's her cousin. She lives in Texas, I think."
"Ya think? Ya fucking THINK?" They made eye contact, and Percy was certain that he was going to get hit, but to his surprise, his step father turned around and kicked a chair.
The shouting began all over again. He called Sally a whore, a candy addict—Percy didn't know what the hell that meant. She didn't even like candy all that much—, a bad mother. He then swore, to no one in particular, that he'd beat the fuck out of her and other things that Perseus couldn't even begin to comprehend.
The yelling continued, but the only thing he could think of it was that his mom had left him. Once again.
Would she come back this time?
"Let me take a look," he said, even though his mom didn't seem too fazed by the burn that adorned her left hand. He was avoiding looking at her face.
"It's nothing, baby, don't worry."
"Come on-"
"I said no!" she snapped. Percy, instinctively, took a step back.
Was then that he realised what was happening. She hadn't been like this for almost six months, so he grew hopeful. He dared to hope that it was over.
A wave of impotence struck him; he knew he could do nothing about it. Only let her... be, and expect the best. Expect that she wouldn't run away.
He bit his tongue until he could taste blood. Percy felt powerless, and angry, so angry.
Sally could make you feel the most loved person on Earth, but like you didn't mean a thing too. When she escaped to God knows where, she made him feel that way— or when she wouldn't leave her room for days, or when she refused to speak to him, or when she locked herself in the bathroom and ignored his knocking, begging, pleading, to get her out of there: out of her chemical world —Unlovable, unworthy. Like he wasn't good enough to make her stay.
But Percy couldn't help his dyslexia, his bad grades, his bad temper. And he beated himself up for it.
He tried so hard for his mom. Everything he did, from study his ass off to swimming for hours and playing soccer until exhaustation, was for Sally. To make her stay. Yet, she never did, not for long. She would leave him, over and over again, all alone with Gabe, praying to not get killed by his hands and his fury; to don't get a fucking overdose with the drugs he knew he put in his food. Praying for her to come back.
"Sorry, tesoro. I didn't sleep well last night; it's not your fault." She sighed, her expression full of regret. She took his hand and put a cookie on it before he could think of a response. "Here, eat. You'll need it for today."
"Thanks," he murmured, taking a bite. They were bleamy, yet they tasted bitter. He couldn't get his head to stop thinking about what would his mom do next.
"Gabe, honey, what time is it?" She turned from Percy and walked to where her husband was lazily sitting on the ratty couch.
He pulled her closer and shamelessly grabbed her ass. Percy looked away, trying not to think about the countless times that Gabe did the same with him when he was coked out and Sally wasn't around. He doubted that he even remembered the morning after.
Her mom's arms wrapping around him made him snap ot of his train of thought.
"Devo andare, mio bambino. Prenditi cura di te, e chiamare a casa ogni tanto, sì?" she whispered to his ear, that way Gabe wouldn't hear them speaking their language.
Percy turned around so he could properly hug her.
"Ti amo. Abbi cura anche tu, mamma," he whispered in response, fighting the worry that had settled uncomfortably on his chest.
"Ti amo."
And with a final squeeze, she tied up her hair, grabbed her bag, and was gone.