Chapter Text
Once field training ended, it was back to being business as usual at U.A, and the average, everyday monotony of the school day was almost a relief. It was the following week, and Katsuki had made a full recovery back to his regular, abrasive self. Even if no one was insulting him by calling him a villain or commenting on his “poor attitude”, the constant stream of praise was almost as annoying. The most annoying thing about it was probably the fact that his classmates kept going on and on about how “they never would have guessed!” or how great it was for him to have a “change of heart”!
When the school day ended, Katsuki was one of the first to leave. He wasn’t going to sit around and listen to them praise him in such an annoying way, acting like he as still the bad guy even though they claimed he wasn’t. They could keep their patronizing bullshit to themselves.
Katsuki cleared the front gate and headed towards home, confident no one was stupid enough to try and following him after being pissed off all day.
“Kacchan!” Izuku called from behind him, the rhythmic sound of shoes against concrete growing louder.
Katsuki was wrong.
He didn't bother responding to or even looking at the boy behind him, as Izuku was prone to babbling without realizing he was bring ignored in the first place.
“Hey, Kacchan! I’m really glad you’re okay,” Izuku said, finally catching up to Katsuki and matching his pace with ease. “I just… I just wanted to tell you thank you for saving me. And that I’m sorry I distracted you, which got both of us hurt.”
“Yeah, you should be,” Katsuki growled but Izuku merely seemed glad that his apology had at least been acknowledged.
“I’m really grateful that you were there. I was so worried when you traded blows with that villain, Kacchan! It’s really good that she wasn’t all that strong in the end, even though her quirk did seem pretty powerful, ” Izuku continued.
“You know, I seems like some of our classmates have really changed their opinions on you. It’s kind of nice to hear everyone say that you don’t have to be cruel for a change! Oh, by the way, Kacchan, how is your face? Oh, and your side? You were bleeding so much, and I felt so helpless—“
“That’s because you were fucking helpless, you shitty nerd!” Katsuki interrupted angrily, stopping in his tracks.
“You’ve always been a weak crybaby, and just because you have a strong quirk, doesn’t mean any of that has ever changed! You can try to fucking fool me all you want, by lying about your quirk and refusing to fight me with it, but that doesn’t change anything about what you really are! You’re fucking pathetic, and you can’t do anything by yourself. You always need help to get out of a situation, and you can't tell when people don’t need your help, so you get in the way!” Katsuki snarled, and Izuku couldn’t help but flinch at the barrage of insults being hurled at him.
“The reason I have a fucking gash in my side and got my face all cut up is because you didn’t know when to shut the hell up and leave me alone! If you want to really apologize, you can do it by fucking off and never speaking to me again!”
Katsuki was prepared for Izuku to say nothing, or dissolve into tears like he was prone to doing in middle school once he finished lambasting him, but neither prediction came to fruition.
“Kacchan, really. You don’t have to be so cruel,” Izuku said firmly, matching Katsuki’s gaze.
Katsuki was caught off guard by Izuku’s even tone and the mere fact he was standing up to him again. It seemed to happen more and more, and it was really starting to get to Katsuki.
“Shut the hell up, Deku! It’s not that I’m cruel, it’s that you’re just weak!” Katsuki snapped back, the sweat on his palms starting to crackle, ready to explode alongside his temper.
“You weren’t always like this. It’s fine to have pride and confidence in yourself, but what happened to the Kacchan that I knew when we were kids? You’ve changed a lot since your quirk manifested, but I never thought I’d lose sight of you like this,” Izuku said, his balled fists trembling slightly, the only tell that he was not as calm as he outwardly appeared.
“I really am sorry I got in your way, Kacchan,” he said, swiftly brushing past Katsuki to continue making his way home.
In any other situation, Katsuki would have lunged after Izuku and manhandled him until it was clear that he was not a person to fuck with, but something was stopping him. He stood watching Izuku’s silhouette disappear, an unfamiliar weight smoldering like fresh embers in the pit of chest.
What the hell was that?
It wasn’t that uncommon for Izuku to stand up to Katsuki since the sludge villain incident, but that was something else entirely, and it put Katsuki in a daze.
“You don’t have to be so cruel.”
Izuku’s words rang in his ears as he walked home, drowning out the sounds of nature and cars driving past, drowning out his mother’s greeting as he entered the house, drowning out her scolding for him walking right past her and up to his room. He closed the door behind him and let himself fall face first onto his bed, the lingering scent of detergent, shampoo and deodorant filling his nose.
Was he really that cruel? Everyone, including Izuku, seemed to think so. They seemed to blame it on his personality and his ego, convinced that they were the roots of all his actions, of all his cruelty. If he could treat Deku with such cruelty with such ease, what was stopping Deku from turning that cruelty back at him out of anger and spite after being subjected to it for so long? Deku had never, not in a single day of their friendship (if it could even be called that), acted cruelly towards Katsuki, but had merely stood up for himself. Deku was always kind to him.
Deku was still kind to him.
Katsuki rolled over, glaring at the wall opposite his bed, still trying to process the unknown sensation taking up residence in his chest. It felt awful in a way that he was unfamiliar with, different than taking a punch in the solar plexus, or the churning of an upset stomach.
Katsuki thought maybe it was because Deku pitied him again, but the ache was different than the hot rage he felt when he was being looked down upon.
Even if he was being pitied or whatever by someone as useless as Deku, he couldn’t shake the thought of how sickeningly genuine Deku’s concern and gratefulness was. Katsuki had made Izuku’s life hell for so long, and the bastard still had the nerve to come and thank him for saving his life and to praise him for being strong and apologize for being a distraction…!
Izuku had always, always been like that. He was always the only one to chase after Katsuki after he fell, or got scraped up, or anything, just to ask if he was hurt or needed help.
Izuku was always the only one. Everyone else believed that Katsuki was powerful and self sufficient enough to handle whatever it was himself, and he was; but that never stopped Deku from looking at him with concerned green eyes, usually brimming with tears even thought Katsuki was the one who had been hurt.
Katsuki lay staring at the ceiling, before he covered his face with his hands and gave a long, frustrated sigh. He as much as he hated Deku pitying him, and how weak it made him feel, he had to admit that the attention that Deku constantly gave him was actually kind of nice.
Kind of.
Katsuki sat up and threw his pillow at the wall in disgust. Surely, the warm, gooey feeling inside wasn’t because of the praise he got for being strong, for having a powerful quirk, or the simple acknowledgement that maybe, just maybe, Katsuki wasn’t invincible after all. There was no way it was Katsuki’s conflicting emotions about Deku, stupid, useless, quirkless, Deku, manifested as the previously inexplicable heartache.
There was no way.