Chapter Text
That… Interaction with the Phantom had left Blueberry a little shaken. A threat he could not understand. But it confirmed that it was a simple phantom. She could not physically hurt him or the Avatar.
He worried about the Beast. Was it okay, with that Phantom around it?
Could it even see it? Or was it only showing up to Blueberry Milk to haunt him for getting too close?
Questions he didn’t have answers too. He wished he did, but he did not. But that was fine. He could pick this puzzle apart piece by piece and make himself understand it. Blueberry Milk would not end up a phantom that haunted the Avatar.
No matter the cost.
But right now he needs to finish grading essays. Before the Avatar blew apart the Academia.
“You know he’s been lying, right, Vanilla?” She swung her legs off of the roof that Pure Vanilla was waiting on. Blueberry Milk had been taking his sweet time today.
“.. Of course I know.” He ruffled his wings a little, a solidary fake blue feather shifted out of place because of it. He fixed it.
White Lily Cookie sighed. He knew that sigh. She wanted him to do something but truthfully, he saw no reason to. Blueberry Milk hadn’t begun hurting anyone yet.
“What about him finding your memories then? There's a reason he’s begun to see me and Frankly.. I don’t like it. He’s getting too close.”
“It’s not like you to be worried about someone besides me.”
“... Well… Even if I have my concerns, he makes you happy. And like you said, he hasn’t actively hurt anyone yet. Even if he’s been breaching your memories.”
Pure Vanilla hummed. Counting the seconds yet again as It and the phantom fell into silence. To it, the breach of memories wasn't that important. It dreamt and knew Blueberry Milk saw something. White Lily clearly knew more but It did not pry.
Blueberry Milk would come to It whenever he felt comfortable to share why he’s been doing what he’s been doing.
“... What are you going to do if he keeps going down this path?” She quietly asked. They did not converse freely often, always having company that kept him from talking to her.
Today, they did not.
Today, he could answer her question.
“If he does harm to cookies beyond me then I will stop him.”
“.. No matter the cost?”
“No matter the cost.”
“... I’m sorry.”
Finally, Finally he was done. Everything had been approved or graded and he had nothing he wished to write tonight. All that was left was Blueberry’s little privacy invasion project. But that required sleep and he was not tired.
Perhaps it would change when the Beast arrived. When he could relax under its watchful gaze.
Blueberry Milk tracked it. He took exactly 10 steps outside of the Academia’s front door before the Beast had arrived behind him within 30 seconds. Already wrapping a singular wing around him.
It trilled at him. Blueberry Milk felt so relieved to have its presence again. It leaned down and nuzzled him again. He didn’t mind it but it still came as a surprise.
Was it affection or..?
Blueberry Milk just decided that the gesture was just because It missed him. That’s it. It had nothing else behind it. Anything else would be difficult to comprehend. To accept.
“It’s a pleasure to see you again soon.” He hummed, patting the Beast’s wing gently. “But I still have things I need to do.”
It whined in protest but he felt it. The way the Beast’s form changed. Back to that of a cookie. Blueberry Milk quietly wondered how it managed to do that so consistently.
A thought for another time.
“Coming with me this time?” He chuckled. He did not wait for it to respond however, instead just walking forward.
It followed behind Blueberry Milk anyways. Almost reminding him of a cakehound. Cute.
Shuffling the thought away for whenever he decided to process his emotions towards the Beast, the two walked through the kingdom.
Blueberry Milk wasn’t worried about being spotted this time. Pure Vanilla Cookie at his back made him feel safe. No one approached him for little fights between themselves.
He was just a cookie with an eldritch creation behind him. No big deal.
But he did have things he wished to buy today. Mostly from textile shops, he’d run low on crafting materials. If he had any hope of making a plush for the Beast by the time their first meeting anniversary arrived he’d need to begin shortly.
Granted, that also meant he would need to ignore the mystery that he’s gotten himself into. Blueberry Milk knew which one he’d pick.
It took him nearly until sunset to get everything he needed. By the time the two left the store Pure Vanilla Cookie looked exhausted. Carrying far too many bags that made Blueberry Milk feel quite apologetic for It.
“Sorry.” he laughed. It glared at him from underneath the blindfold this form wore. It took all of Blueberry’s self control not to laugh more. He did not want to risk being kicked out of his own bedroom.
The walk back to the Spire was short. Neither of them spoke. Just walked down the old path they had followed so many times before on foot.
Once the two got inside, the Beast returned to its more relaxed state. Letting Its wings unfurl a little as it unceremoniously dropped all of the textile bags on top of Blueberry Milk.
It let out a sound akin to a chuckle at Blueberry’s surprised yelp. It made no move to help him get off of the floor, nor to help him with the bags that had tipped and spilt their contents.
After cleaning up the spilt fabric and thread and putting them in their designated areas, Blueberry Milk felt.. Restless. He had already banished the Beast to another room. Witches know what room, but it would eventually find its way back.
But he felt restless.
There was Something he could be doing. But what? He was done with the Academia for the day. The Beast would riot if he tried to work later than he already had.
The fabric and thread were all ready but he didn’t wish to touch them right now. If he did, then what if another chance to uncover more about the Beast slipped through his fingers..?
Blueberry Milk ran a hand through his hair. He just. Needed to calm down. He had all the time in the world and so did the Beast. Neither of them would leave each other. Not if the other had any say in it.
So he decided to go over what he remembered. Quickly finding a chalkboard to write everything down on for his own sake.
The warden, a lily cookie, had been the first memory he encountered. Burnt alive and crumbled in Its arms within a forest he doesn’t know the location of. She made the Beast… do something. He didn’t know what anymore.
The second was of a golden harpy that left by itself. He could not remember what the words they spoke meant but he did remember the agony. The sense that it felt betrayed by whatever the Warden had said.
The third was that battlefield. The appearance of the avatar there had been so muddled that he only recognized the fact that it had purple accents and its overall appearance was almost reminiscent of chocolate. But he couldn’t be sure.
But he could put them in chronological order. The golden harpy leaving after betrayal had happened first, then the beheading of the darker Avatar. Then along the way the Warden got killed.
It left an awful taste in his mouth. Because the ones partaking in the beheading of an Avatar.. He could recognize. They were mortal cookies.
His soul jam felt heavy. It was a relic that could be stolen for power that no mortal cookie should be given. And when it was something they could not steal, they killed it.
It surely would explain why the Beast was ever so protective of Blueberry Milk. it had seen the consequences of letting mortals think too highly of themselves. Think that they could reach the heavens off the corpse of someone who’d been baked there.
He just stared at the chalkboard full of what he remembered. All organized and perfect. Yet it painted a clear picture.
Blueberry Milk knew. The Witches hadn’t answered his prayers for nearly half of his life now. He had nearly given up when he found the Avatar of Destiny. When it gave him a reason to continue. A reason that wasn’t pleasing the faceless Witches that were too much of cowards to fix their mistakes.
They let the Avatar of Destiny’s friends die. If myth were correct, they only arrived to fix things once the Avatar of Destiny had killed every cookie on Earthbread for their crimes. They left just as fast as they had arrived after baking him and his friends.
Was this just… a game to them? To see how far they could let them push themselves before they crumbled? Before they begged to be eaten?
He snapped his chalk. It crumbled apart in his hand. Blueberry Milk didn’t care. A boiling anger that he’d cast aside had begun to return. Anger at circumstances.
Anger at the Witches for leaving them to rot. He could not understand it. He would not understand it. Why create something just to let it die. They could’ve prevented it.
They could have. But they did not. He hated them. He hated them all. A hand shakily raised to his soul jam. It pulsed. It was scalding hot. They gave him this. For what purpose? To replace the Avatars after they failed?
They left one alive, just to see its replacements for It and Its friends? How cruel. He wondered if they were baked in their images in some way. If their creation was meant to be a cruel joke to the Avatar.
He almost wanted to applaud an invisible actor. He almost wanted to laugh at how cruel this entire game of life they made was. Were they laughing at them now? Watching him play home with the Avatar, knowing that they could’ve saved Its friends?
But what of the cookie’s today?
What would happen if they learned that the Avatar could be killed? Would they demand it? Want to steal its endless possibilities for themselves? Steal away the calm that he had built for himself with It?
No.
NO he would not allow that. He would rather crumble than let them get their hands on his Avatar. He would crumble them all if they dared to think of it.
He could make them crumble each other. Let them drown in their own lies and greed. He could end them all-
Blueberry Milk couldn’t see. His eyes were still open but something was blocking them. He dropped the remains of the chalk from his hands to raise them up.
Feathers. A set of wings.
Oh.
Blueberry had forgotten that the Beast was waiting for him, hadn’t he? In whatever room it had gotten sent to a while ago…
It gently chirped in his ear, almost asking a question. Blueberry didn’t know what kind of question.
Not when it gently pulled him away from the chalkboard, still covering his eyes with a set of wings. It pulled Blueberry Milk back into itself. Soft purring emanated from its chest.
“... how..? Where..” His voice felt hoarse. Why was it hoarse? He hadn’t been speaking.. Had he?
He felt so tired. Like he had just over exerted himself physically.. But he had just been standing there. Not moving.
His dough was so heavy. The Avatar felt so soft… His eyelids were closing without permission. He…
What had he been thinking about again…?
A gentle touch came over his soul jam. Something sparked. A distant soothing trill.
He drifted off.
Laughter.
Laughter filled the air and soothed him. It echoed off the walls of the cathedral that was specifically crafted to fit all five of them.
Pure Vanilla stood off to the side, still trying to adjust to his second set of wings that had sprouted from his upper back. It didn’t help that parties like these that were thrown in their names were never his favorite.
He hated the way that cookies stared at him, whispering. But he stayed for his friends. Watching them enjoy themselves made him feel slightly better.
Aside from the other two who weren’t as used to interaction like he was. Da$k Cac*0 and Whit3 $*@! Were hiding just like he was in the corners. Hoping that people would forget they were there and focus on Ho%$*&(##$@ and G*%$(n %&eese.
They would not be granted that mercy but it was better than everyone focusing on them. It allowed them to watch from a distance and talk to those who approached them individually.
… It was too loud this time, though.
So Pure Vanilla did the one thing he knew best. He slipped out under the cover of darkness and sat in the garden behind the Cathedral. The full moon shined down on him and the garden.
Quiet. Blissful quiet.
The party had been going for nearly twelve hours now. They began when the sun was highest and now the moon had risen to its highest peak as well.
He wondered how long the mortal cookies would keep going. Hoped it wasn’t much longer. He wished to go back to his garden just beyond the mountain’s end.
But Pure Vanilla would wait. Would not leave his friends behind to explain why he left early if the mortals still considered it early.
“Hiding out here, ey?”
Pure Vanilla looked behind him without agency. He knew who it was. Hol%#*@#y walked up behind him, grinning brightly as always.
“.. I am. My apologies.”
She laughed, patting him on the back ever so gently. It still sent Pure Vanilla stumbling forward from the force.
“Ah no shame in it! If there was shame, You and the other two wouldn’t be considered Avatars now would you?”
… It was an attempt at comfort. Pure vanilla still found himself smiling at her words.
That smile didn’t last for long. He knew why she was here too.
“.. Are you sure you want to stay? I already told you what I saw.”
“I am, my friend. Even if it comes to pass, I will not blame them.”
“Even if they kill you?”
“Of course.”
“... But what about us?”
“Then I will fight my hardest to survive. If I do not, you still have the comfort knowing I did not leave you without a fight.”
He..
He began to cry. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want to lose his friend. Pure Vanilla warned her, to give her time to escape. Yet here they all were.
Three out of five were unaware of what would happen within just a week's time.
The Murder of the Avatar of Hope. By the hands of the mortal cookies that they were celebrating with just within the cathedral behind them.
“Are you scared?” Holly%&rry asked.
“I am. Without you, what would we do? They consider us monsters behind closed doors.”
“Survive, if you need a purpose.” She was not scared.
She was never scared. She looked to the future no matter how harsh it was. No matter how many times she confided in them that she thought her title as Hope was wrongfully given.
Even if Hollyberry herself had given up Hope long, long ago. Before they even planned her murder.
“What about Golden Cheese? Dark Cacao? White Lily..? What if I’m not strong enough to protect them when you’re gone?” Pure Vanilla was the weakest out of them all, even White Lily. Destiny without power. Without a path to guide it.
Hollyberry laughed again. It sounded hollow.
“They will make their choices and I know you will stay by their side no matter what ails you in the future.”
They stood together in silence. Pure Vanilla wrapping his wings around himself in an act of comfort. To shield himself from the future.
“Do you really want to accept this..?”
“I won’t go down without a fight.”
Pure Vanilla wanted to respond. But just as he opened his mouth, another voice called out to them.
“Pure Vanilla! Hollyberry! What are you doing over there?” White Lily cookie was approaching, Golden Cheese and Dark cacao at her side as well.
“Are you having a secret conversation without us? How rude!” Golden Cheese chastised gently. It had no bite behind it.
Pure Vanilla could almost imagine her heartbreak soon.
Hollyberry though, just let out her normal laugh. As if she did not know her murder was approaching.
“Of course not! Just a friendly conversation about the future! Come on now, let's return to the festivities!”
Blueberry Milk blinked awake, the exhaustion from before falling asleep hadn’t left him but he couldn’t sleep. A memory of the last Avatar. She seemed so… Different. All of them did. The warden had been smiling at the end of the dream.
She hadn’t been smiling any other time he saw her.
He sat up from where he was and vaguely realized he was in bed. But the Avatar was not there.
Panic shot through him. All acceptance of his exhaustion vanished as he flung himself out of bed. His avatar wasn’t here. It wasn’t here IT WASN’T-
Blueberry Milk would have burst out of his bedroom had a wing not blocked his way. Relief replaced panic as he looked to where it originated from. The Avatar had been hidden by the shadows by a window, Not gone.
It was safe. They were safe.
It walked up to him and put its head on top of Blueberry’s.
“Memory?” It asked.
His jam ran cold.
“.. You.. knew..?”
“Sai.”
“Then why-”
“No need. Trust. Won’t. Hurt.”
Blueberry Milk felt like crying for more than one reason. It was talking to him, in a way he could understand. But also.. It didn’t hate him. It didn’t hate him for breaching its trust.
It trusted him.
“Why. We’re your replacements. You should hate us. We're proof all of your friends are gone.” Blueberry Milk couldn’t understand.
It hummed, pulling Blueberry back into a hold. Blueberry Milk weakly tried to pull himself out but It held stronger.
“Dead. Not. Gone.” It struggled. It could barely pronounce the words right but It was Speaking to him in Blueberry’s language. “Forget, Will not. You, Are not.”
He…
He…
Blueberry Milk finally, Finally let his shell crack. He sobbed into it. The leftover emotions from the dream collided with his own. Agony of a time long since past, Confusion on why It couldn’t just hate him.
It would’ve been so much easier if they were enemies. He would not have to think about why the Avatar existed this way.
But they weren’t. The Avatar lived in his spire, never leaving him alone. It kept him safe and away from the cruelties of everyday cookies. Protecting him from what killed Its friends.
The Avatar was possessive over him in a way that Blueberry Milk couldn’t help but return.
Perhaps, Just perhaps, Blueberry Milk could accept that he loved the Beast.
The Beast that let him hold it. Let him see it at its most vulnerable. The Beast who did not leave him even after he pushed and pushed for things he did not ask to know. That he learned without caring for how It could have felt.
Blueberry Milk sobbed. Let the tears and agony consume him.
He didn’t know when he fell asleep again. Or when the feeling and noise of purring had begun. But one moment, he was sobbing.
The next, he was asleep. Dreaming of a garden that no longer existed.
White Lily looked at Pure Vanilla with the Virtue of Knowledge in his wings.
“Are you sure?” She asked.
“I am.”
“.. He nearly fell, had it not been for me alerting you. You know he’s on the edge. So why do you want to keep trying? It’ll only hurt you.”
“Because I am the only one who could possibly understand him in the future.”
“.. You are too selfless, Pure Vanilla.”
“Perhaps. But until he falls, I will not leave him.”
“.. You truly love him.”
“I do.”
“...”
“I’ll tell the others. Golden Cheese probably won’t be happy. But I know the other two will.”
“.. Are you leaving?”
“Not forever, No. But I must rest sometimes too.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You weren’t the one who crumbled me, Pure Vanilla. I’ll come back once I’m not fading. Promise.”
“... Tell Hollyberry that I miss her juice.”
White Lily snorted into a hand.
“She’ll love to hear that.”
The two fell silent for a moment. White Lily not wanting to leave, just for a moment longer. Pure Vanilla not wanting to lose sight of his best friend.
But she had to go. Her form flickered.
“I’ll see you again, Pure Vanilla.”
“... See you another day, White Lily.”
He closed his eyes. Refusing to acknowledge how she faded away for a moment. As if she were just an illusion. She wasn’t. She was his best friend that never left. Even if Pure Vanilla was unsure if he would ever see her again.
But he was falling asleep to the rhythmic breathing of his other half. Even if in the memories his other half had seen he couldn’t have protected his friends, they still lived on. He was the only one to remember them. White Lily would have stories to tell them while she waited for her strength to return to her.
In the meantime, He would protect this one little virtue.
Knowledge, Truth and Deceit. Perhaps his Destiny had brought him here for a reason.
He would not let go. Not again.
Pure Vanilla would protect Him. Even if it meant making an enemy out of Blueberry Milk in the future if he ever succumbed.