Chapter Text
Soonyoung had never walked home so fast in his life. With Jihoon’s (soft, beautiful, pretty) hand in his, he powered through turns and hastily punched in his level in the lift and almost fumbled with his door lock. “Someone’s really antsy…” Jihoon observed as he stood back with his arms crossed, amused at the hunched figure of Soonyoung trying to type his passcode with slightly sweaty hands. “J-Just shut up, you. How else am I supposed to act when there’s a fucking beauty telling me that ‘we’ should be going ‘home’?” The door finally unlocked with a happy jingle. Jihoon raised an eyebrow as Soonyoung nearly threw himself inside. “Can you hurry up?” He whined from within. Jihoon chuckled and pulled the door close, hearing it click and softly lock behind him. Soonyoung came back with a glass of water, handing it to Jihoon, who took a sip. “Yes, good, thank you- You must be thirsty after all that talking,” Jihoon wanted to burst into laughter watching the other’s wide-eyed, frantic pace. He set the cup down on the dining table with a sigh.
“Soonyoung- Calm down. Do you want me to leave or something? Why are you rushing around?” As if he was going to explode, Soonyoung took a gulp of the water from the same cup before turning to Jihoon, “Because, Jihoon! I think I’m falling for you again and it’s killing me inside because of how much I’ve been wanting to kiss you all night!” Jihoon stood still letting Soonyoung get his feelings out. He wasn’t surprised. “...Why are you acting normal about all that?” Soonyoung asked, slightly out of breath, eyes shaking with confusion. Jihoon only smiled back; a sly, sympathetic little thing. He stepped a little closer, his voice dropped a little quieter, “I had a feeling. And I also think I’m falling for you.” He nodded, “Again.” Soonyoung gulped.
“You too?” He asked. That fond smile never left Jihoon’s face as his gaze dropped lowly, eyeing the other in his now-ruffled work outfit. He wouldn't lie and say those rolled up sleeves of his dress shirt and his sleek slacks did nothing to him and his heart rate. His fingers itched at the tips to feel the other’s skin as they ran down Soonyoung’s arms in a sort of trance. The older fared no better, drawn in by the younger’s smile, still recognisable from all those years ago. Jihoon spoke softly, “Yeah. Then and now. But y’know, of course I was too scared to do anything about it…” He walked over to the sofa as if it were his own house, sitting casually. “I think you leaving was too catastrophic for me and that’s why I blocked it out. Losing contact with you was unimaginable.” Soonyoung hummed, trailing after Jihoon, “Thank God we exchanged Facebooks that one night in secret.” Jihoon leaned an arm over the top of the sofa, legs tucked under him to watch the other. He sighed sweetly as Soonyoung quietly asked, “Did you keep in contact with anyone?” He sounded a little embarrassed. Jihoon nodded, “Just a few. What about you?”
“…No.” Jihoon cocked his head, “None at all?” Soonyoung made a zero with his hand, “Not one,” His hand dropped. “Why did you think I was moaning about having no one, Jihoon?” The producer willed away his brain providing him with a joke at the word ‘moan’ and cleared his throat, “I… forgot.”
“A-Anyway…” He sighed. “Youngie, I’m glad we’re doing this. I’m glad you’re here, I’m glad you reached out. I’m glad I accidentally posted that LinkedIn hiring notice under my personal profile and kept forgetting to take it down because it led me here, to you.” Soonyoung laughed, and it was a beautiful sound to hear after all the crying. Jihoon reached for the other’s hand, linking their fingers. “You’re so different now, y’know?” Soonyoung whispered, fond eyes fixated on their hands. “And you’ve never changed,” Jihoon replied, equally as enamoured, watching the other’s fascinated stare.
Jihoon never thought that he’d really been living a life sometimes. He read about people falling in love, getting That feeling, knowing something was true and believing in it so strongly that their lives changed for the better. Yet he’d never experienced anything close to that. Well, maybe once when he was eighteen with one and a half years of knowing Kwon Soonyoung under his belt. They were both new to life as they knew it, and only had each other and the other boys to rely on for their daily socialisation. And being so stuck together was doing interesting things for them. Their close relationship had morphed into something neither could really put a name on, nor did they really want to. Under the scrutiny, the heavy monitoring and near constant supervision, whatever blooming young buds sprouting out from friendship couldn’t go anywhere.
It eventually withered and died when Soonyoung was eliminated from the potential lineup because of mistakes that he carried with him for the next three years. His mind had been plagued with “if onlys” for all that time. Perhaps that was why he had drowned himself in work, taking on workloads he had not much business editing or researching for. Him climbing the ladder had just been a result of all of that, borne from jealousy, exhaustion, and grief. He had remembered Jihoon for a while, his mind always wandering to that boy in the yellow shirt, back in the green- Melona - room. Soonyoung knew their show had still been filming and was being broadcasted, but he didn’t want to know anything more about the project. He had sworn to keep off it and had intended to forget about it entirely. Until boredom struck and he was on LinkedIn.
How fate worked in mysterious ways.
“I’d like to think I’m more mature now. That I wouldn’t be rash and run away from my regrettable past anymore.” Jihoon beamed, “I’d hope you were too. You’re twenty-eight, remember? Not eighteen.” Soonyoung squeezed their locked hands, “I… No- We may be twenty-eight, but I swear to you these feelings I have make me feel like I’m back there, freshly eighteen with you again.” He nodded resolutely, “I survived Melona Prison with you, Lee Jihoon. I’m sure I’ll be able to survive life, too, if you’re there in mine.”
Jihoon scoffed from embarrassment, “Look who’s being poetic. You’re gonna make me write a song about you.” Soonyoung felt giddy at the sight of Jihoon, “Your ears are so red, Jihoonie! Holy shit…” He reached out to touch, the other flinching ever so slightly. Soonyoung recoiled out of fear. “N-No, it’s okay, I’m just… sensitive,” Jihoon assured. He paused for some time to let Soonyoung’s words sink into his core and seep into his brain. He really needed this.
“I’ll have you if you have me-“
“Hey, what the hell, I asked you first! So you have to answer first.”
Jihoon broke into peals of laughter, “Okay! Okay! Yes!- God… Yes, I’ll be in your life, or whatever- Just come and kiss me already, Kwon Soonyoung.” Soonyoung hummed in victory, “You’re impatient, Jihoonie. That’s new,” He leaned closer, almost pressing the other into the arm of the sofa. “It looks good on you, my love.” Jihoon’s heartbeat drummed in his ears, wide-eyed as Soonyoung hovered above him, haloed beautifully by the lights. He looked hesitant, despite his bravado and sweet words. The other’s eyes darted all around Jihoon’s face as if to capture every little detail and commit it to memory. “Worried you're never gonna see me again?” Jihoon whispered.
Soonyoung shook his head, fingers coming up to brush under Jihoon’s eye, “Not really. Just… admiring. You’ve really gotten so pretty, y’know? Has anyone told you that?” When Jihoon shyly shook his head, that red on his ears creeped down to his cheeks, and Soonyoung felt the heat radiating off the soft skin. “You’re pretty, Jihoon. So beautiful-”
Impatient, Jihoon lifted himself up to silence Soonyoung with his lips. He let that shrinking part of him finally expand and grow, his needs and wants flowing out of him and into the man above him. Years of quietly repressed feelings made themselves known through his desperate clawing at Soonyoung’s shirt, letting the other know just how much he wanted him- how long he had wanted him. Soonyoung fared no better, mind completely blanking after finally getting his hands on the boy- well, man, now - he’d chased in his youth.
Oh, right. They were each other’s youth. The phrase “freshly eighteen with you” seared itself into Jihoon’s mind. He could foresee this man becoming his muse and inspiring more than one song. Maybe even perhaps enough to fill a full album. But it was wishful thinking as Jihoon was brought back to reality. The moment Soonyoung’s lips left his, he already missed the way they felt and the way he tasted. Jihoon felt drunk on Soonyoung already and these were just kisses. A familiar heat bloomed on his face as the thoughts furthered themselves. “Thinking something unholy, Jihoonie?” He pushed Soonyoung and his cheeky smile off with an unintended whine, “I wish you’d shut up.”
“You already know how to, jagiya.”