Chapter Text
Waterwhisper stared at nothing, his tail curled loosely over his stomach, throat and jaw settled on the edge of his moss nest.
His eyes briefly trailed over to WhiteStar—or, WhiteWing now. He looked.. peaceful.
WaterWhisper wishes he could move on like Whitewing does. Whether or not he’s retired now, he was an amazing leader.. someone cats look up to, he wishes he could be that.
But he’s not.
Waterwhisper heaved to his paws, straining a little from the extra weight he carried. He let out a heavy breath once on his paws, and he padded off and out of the den. This was the first time he’s gotten up since the gathering. 4 days ago.
His eyes focused briefly on BlossomHeart, the thunderclan warrior- BlazingHeart’s former apprentice, who had insisted on staying with Waterwhisper for at least a week, to “keep guard”, she said.. she’s fast asleep.
She needs the rest, anyways. He padded past her, and her only reaction was to flop over onto her side and continue purring softly in her sleep.
He walked and walked and walked, his mind too caught up thinking about BlazingHeart to really know where he was walking, wherever his paws wanted to go.
He didn’t even get to see BlazingHeart before he fought that.. that monster that took his life. He was such an amazing warrior.. he had been hearing from Whitestar that Hornetstar had been considering promoting him to deputy, since they currently lack one.
He would’ve been an amazing deputy, and a just as amazing leader, too. BlazingStar. That had a nice ring to it.
BlazingHeart was confident, he was humble and generous, he cared so much for his clanmates..
It didn’t take long for his paws to start feeling sore and his legs stiff. He glanced around to find himself pretty far from Riverclan’s camp, closer to the twoleg place than he probably should be, but oh well.
He plopped himself down in the grassy meadow, tucking his paws under his frame, silver moonlight of the waning gibbous moon shining down on his dull blue fur, the accents of near-white looking almost pearlescent.
He must be really out of it, to not notice the almost obvious presence behind him.
“WaterWhisper.” Called an eerie but familiar voice. He quickly raised his head and looked behind him, to see those 6 eyes staring at him, wide, as they always are.
“..WaningMoon.” He repeated the much taller tomcat’s name, but he didn’t move to greet him like he usually would, rather he glanced away.
WaningMoon took cautious steps closer, closely observing WaterWhispers body language to determine if he should or shouldn’t sit with him, and seeing as the blue riverclanner didn’t move, he settled beside him, his own massively fluffy tail settling over Water’s nearly exposed stomach in a protective manner.
“…” They were both quiet for a few moments as they simply sat in each other’s presence. Normally, this kind of company was ideal for them both with occasional chatter of shared interests like hunting, bugs, the night sky..
But tonight, WaningMoon could clearly smell the tension and grief billowing off WaterWhisper in thick whirls, it was nearly overwhelming. Any younger or lesser demon would sure be gagging and coughing at the strength of the unpleasant scent.
“..is something.. wrong.. WaterWhisper?” He finally spoke again, his head tilting- he closed his extra 4 eyes and forced his form to change. A little smaller, less harsh reds, softer violet eyes.
WaterWhisper finally turned to look at the demon again, and seeing that form shift- the way WaningMoon looked more like a regular cat.. it was oddly comforting. Even if he knew full well it was simply a false mask.
WaterWhisper leaned closer to WaningMoon, his own long tail coiling around the other’s. This was perhaps one of if not the first time he’s ever seeked out physical comfort on his own.
WaningMoon wasn’t going to waste that offer, that request for connection, comfort, so he leaned down to loaf close beside WaterWhisper, his mane settling over the smaller tom’s frame like a warm blanket in the cold night.
“..BlazingHeart was killed.. by a demon.” He finally admitted, tears stinging his eyes and threatening to fall. His fur bristled as he leaned further into WaningMoon, like he was trying to disappear into the tabby’s pelt.
WaningMoon stared for a moment, processing what he’d been told.
BlazingHeart. BlazingHeart is WaterWhisper’s mate and the father to the kits Waterwhisper was soon to have.
From what Water has told him in the past, BlazingHeart is a bright yellow, orange, and red tabby with some black markings and long fur.. and recently, SnowClaw had described killing a very strong thunderclan warrior with a flame-like pelt.
That fool. Waning growled to nobody but himself in the safety of his mind, but externally leaned closer to WaterWhisper, gently licking at his fur to provide some semblance of comfort.
WaterWhisper’s pelt burned hot with grief, his chest ached like it’d just been clawed open and his heart ripped out to slowly stop beating on cold concrete. His head hurt like it’d just been hit with a boulder. He’s never been one for physical touch, but all he could even think to want in the moment was to cling to something- anything as if he were a frightened kit. He felt like a frightened kit.
Again, they fell into silence but for much longer than before. It was hard to tell if this was a comfortable or uncomfortable silence, it might be different for both of them, but they sat in silence nonetheless.
Waterwhisper simply clung to Waningmoon, his paws wrapped around the taller tom’s wide paws as he softly wept into his fur, the occasional whine or sob exiting his maw, all while WaningMoon held him like a magnificently enrapturing but expensive and fragile glass statue that could shatter into a million unfixable pieces if he so much as breathed wrong on it.
This is how it usually was, anyways. Most of the time when they’d see each other they were always quiet, always sitting in a comfortable silence, occasionally speaking if there was something particularly interesting that happened, but it was always Waterwhisper speaking.
WaningMoon had nothing interesting to tell, being a demon wasn’t very interesting, and the few things that were are things he’s not allowed to share, even if he’d want to.
So, he always listened. No matter what WaterWhisper shared, he listened intently and stored it safely and neatly in his mind where he could always recall it if the topic arose again.
But tonight, it seemed it would be quiet. WaningMoon doesn’t mind, he doesn’t mind at all. He’ll never mind, he doesn’t think he will at least. Why should he ever mind? Nothing WaterWhisper ever does will ever bother him, no. WaterWhisper is perfect. To WaningMoon, this riverclanner can do nothing wrong. He’s perfect and angelic and kind and beautiful. Such a wonderful voice, such a wonderful name, such a wonderful scent, such a wonderful pelt of wonderfully soft fur and wonderfully desaturated blues, wonderfully vibrant blue irises, and wonderfully kind.
WaterWhisper is perfect. Perfect in every way WaningMoon is flawed.
WaningMoon with his grotesque 6 eyes that stare like he hates the mere concept of another being existing in his vicinity, four tall ears that can hear a leaf fall from another territory, a massive and tall frame that loomed over others and intimidated young, claws so long thick and sharp he could shred a badger into strips with one strike.
WaningMoon is cruel and greedy and dangerous, but WaterWhisper? He’s perfect. He’s beautiful and generous and pleasant.
“..I don’t know why you put up with me.” WaterWhisper’s voice was soft, hardly over a quiet mew, his eyes red and head still aching. “I’m not worth your time.”
WaningMoon stopped grooming WaterWhisper, pausing mid-lick to simply stare, almost caught off guard.
“..why do you.. believe such.. negativity.. about yourself?” The demon questioned, his voice despite being deep and gruff was gentle and careful.
WaterWhisper took awhile to answer, but WaningMoon didn’t mind. He can be patient, for Water. Only for Water.
“You’re.. such a great cat, you’re nice and polite and always here for me even when I barely make an effort to come see you most days. I can’t fathom why you still put up with me.” Finally, he spoke again, his chest ached with every word he uttered, his jaw tight, but he forced the words out of his mouth.
WaningMoon frowned.
“WaterWhisper.. you are.. Perfect.” He answered as honestly as he could.
“You alone.. have witnessed my.. kindness. Nobody but you.. is deserving of.. my respect.” He gave a few licks to Waterwhisper’s long and elegant fur, gently holding him close. “You are.. ethereal, WaterWhisper. I am.. blessed, that you.. allow me to.. call you a.. friend.”
Sometimes I wish you’d let me call you more than just a friend, but I know that’s not what you want of me.
WaterWhisper just stared. Stared like he’d been told something inconceivably impossible.
He stared like WaningMoon had just completely reset Water’s brain, he was. Surprised.
WaningMoon could tell WaterWhisper didn’t know what to say, he could always tell. He gave a gentle lick to the riverclanner’s cheek and forced a purr- something he rarely does, rarely even did when he was still mortal.
“Do not.. degrade yourself.. like that again. Please. I doubt.. BlazingHeart would.. appreciate hearing.. you speak like that.. to yourself.” He moved a paw to cradle WaterWhisper’s cheek- well, more like his entire face. WaterWhisper was so small compared to him, despite being one of the tallest in Riverclan.
“He loved you.. dearly, and I.. know, just from.. the way you.. speak of him. He held you.. just as dearly.. as I would. I have.. no doubt of that.” He continued, and WaterWhisper slowly leaned into the demon’s paw, his own coming up to gently place onto WaningMoon’s wrist.
“No matter what.. anyone else says, or.. you think of.. yourself, you are.. perfect, WaterWhisper. Anyone who.. cannot see it.. is a fool. I understand you.. are hurting, from.. the loss of.. BlazingHeart, but.. he wouldn’t want.. you to see.. yourself as.. undeserving of love. He would’ve wanted.. you to be true to.. yourself, no matter.. the world’s ideas of.. what is.. ‘good’, or ‘bad’.”
WaterWhisper almost hated how sincere WaningMoon’s words were, how gentle he spoke. He hated that he wanted to hear it more. He hates how desperate he is to hear WaningMoon to call him perfect again. In that tone.. with that gentle touch to his cheek- even if Waning’s paw could easily cover his entire face.
But what he hated most was the warmth in his chest when he looked into WaningMoon’s eyes, a beautiful violent rather than the harsh gold he was used to seeing.
He hated that it was the same warmth he felt for BlazingHeart. The same warmth he’d felt for FoxStride, and even briefly WindClaw..
Am I really moving on this quickly? How disgusting. It’s been days since I learned of BlazingHeart’s death and I already feel that love for another.. oh how undeserving I truly am.
But he didn’t voice those thoughts, he just glanced away, but lesned further into WaningMoon’s touch.
BlazingHeart would hate me.. Or, maybe it was BlazingHeart should hate me.
Because what makes WaterWhisper deserve any love? He’s had 3 mates already, that’s more than most of his clanmates, probably more than most cats in the forest. And here he is, already falling for someone new.
Disgusting. That’s all he can describe himself as.
He’s not deserving of WaningMoon. No matter how much he’ll fight it, he doesn’t deserve him.
“..You’re thinking.. quite loudly.” WaningMoon poked him with a twitch of his ear, heaving to sit up and look down at Waterwhisper.
Water rose after him, sitting up as well, his long tail twitching back and forth until he eventually curled it around his forepaws.
WaterWhisper drew in a slow breath, and finally spoke again.
“..what do you see in me?” He asks, his eyes fixed on the ground before him, while WaningMoon’s were fixed on him.
“What about me makes you think so highly of me? What makes you believe I’m deserving of your time?” He continued, his paws clenching into the ground, claws piercing through the grass into the sandy soil beneath.
WaningMoon stared for a moment. He really didn’t understand how WaterWhisper didn’t understand.
“Three cats already, three cats I’ve met have devoted their lives to me.. and two died. I’ve lost every cat important to me. My parents, my sister, my first mate, my kit.. and now my second mate..” WaterWhisper didn’t consider WindClaw a real ‘second mate’ anymore.
WaningMoon gave a few licks to WaterWhisper’s ear, his purr rumbling in his throat. “Everyone I know.. has lost someone or.. something dear to them. Loss.. is inevitable, but that.. does not mean you.. should give up. That does.. not mean you are.. cursed, or.. undeserving of.. loving again.”
WaningMoon lended him a few more licks, tending to his knotted fur, since WaterWhisper hadn’t bothered to tend to himself these past days.
“I care for.. you, because.. you care enough to.. still be my.. friend. You worry.. for me, you.. tell me about.. your day, even if.. you are well aware.. of what I am.” He continued, now lapping down WaterWhisper’s nape to his back.
“You’ve lost many.. to demons. Yet.. you still.. care for me, despite.. myself being one.. you are kind.. and generous.. you are.. everything one could.. want, in a.. friend. Even if.. you cannot see.. it.”
Finally, WaterWhisper looked up at WaningMoon, his head and nape pressed against the taller cat’s chest and shoulder.
He didn’t say anything, but he closed his eyes slowly and let himself relax. He purred, his own sound mixing with WaningMoon’s.
And they sat like that. Neither know how long, but they did.
WaterWhisper didn’t feel like talking anymore, he already talked more tonight than he has in the past week. WaningMoon could tell, he gets like that too. So he doesn’t try to talk anymore.
WaterWhisper blinks his eyes open to see the sky is starting to shift hues, from a deep blue hue with spotting stars to a more milky blue, still with hints of darker colors, light started to filter into the atmosphere.
“..I.. I need to go back to camp.” WaterWhisper slowly rose to his paws, WaningMoon gently helped him up, rising to his own paws.
“Right. I ask you.. care for yourself. Try talking.. to BlossomHeart. I’ve overheard.. her speak of you.. she worries for.. you, quite a.. lot.” He gave a few last laps to WaterWhisper’s pelt before turning, he began to pad off.
WaterWhisper nods. “I will.” He whispered to himself, turning as well, he began walking back towards camp.