Chapter Text
It was well after midnight when Buck snorted awake. He shuffled up onto his elbows, curious what had awoken him, when a rattle at the door startled him into crisp awareness. Holding his breath, he rolled off the couch and crouched in the corner, behind the door, waiting to see what would happen. The door swung open slowly after a moment, and a shadowy figure stepped inside. Buck tensed, waiting for the person to walk further into the house so that he could slip out the door unnoticed.
“Buck?”
Buck gasped, and Eddie spun around, eyes squinting as he tried to focus on Buck’s crouched form in the shadows of the dark room.
“Eddie?”
“Hey Buck. Didn’t mean to scare you. Didn’t you see my text?”
Buck gaped at the man in front of him. He did not see a text. He had spent the afternoon laying in a fit of ennui on the floor beside the couch, before choking down a peanut butter sandwich and going to sleep.
“I, uh. No, I didn’t see it. You’re… early?”
Buck didn’t actually know what time it was, and his brain was still trying to adjust from the sudden adrenaline rush. He was pretty sure Eddie wasn’t due home until tomorrow night. Or, maybe actually tonight, depending on what day it was.
“What time is it?” Buck’s voice was hoarse from disuse.
“Late, like three something. Sorry, we just, uh. Left early.”
“Is everything okay?”
Eddie’s laughter was brittle, and he ducked his head.
“I promise everything’s okay. Can I tell you in the morning?”
“Uh. Sure. Is Chris…”
“In the car, asleep. Want to go grab him?”
Buck grinned and yanked open the door before Eddie finished his sentence. He bounded towards the U-haul in wide, purposeful strides. Chris stirred as Buck popped open the door. He grinned at the half-awake teenager, while Eddie watched from the driver’s side as he gathered a backpack and some trash.
“Buck!”
“Hey bud!” Buck swooped Chris off of the seat and into his arms, laughing as Chris protested. After a moment, he put Chris down beside the truck. Their mirrored grins shined in the haze of the street light.
“I am so glad you’re back, superman.” Buck was practically vibrating with joy as he handed the boy his crutches and closed the truck door. “Come on!”
Buck led the way back inside, and Eddie quietly shut the door behind the group, while Chris found the light switch.
Chris stood in the living room, looking around. It had been nearly a year since he’d been home. The layout was identical, if a bit sparse, and Buck couldn't wait for them to fill in what was misusing.
Chris yawned, and Buck exchanged a glance with Eddie, who nodded.
“I’ve missed you so much.”
Chris turned towards Buck, smiling. Buck’s voice seemed loud in the small room, not not near as loud as he wanted it to be. He wanted to yell and scream and run; a joy so tangible his hands were shaking.
“Missed you too, Bu-“ he cut himself off with another yawn. Buck chuckled.
“Why don’t you head to sleep. We can get everything else in the morning.”
Chris groaned, but nodded. “I want to argue, but it’s so late,” he whined.
“Alright. Bed, bud. Pancakes in the morning?”
“Uh, duh.”
Chris made his way down the hall to his room, and stopped in his tracks in the doorway. He turned his head towards Buck, who ducked his head, and shrugged.
“Figured you could use an update. We can add stuff later.
Eddie quirked an eyebrow and looked over Chris’ shoulder to see that a full size bed had been built in the corner, with a dresser and matching bedside table pushed against the ocean blue walls.
“I love it. Thanks Buck!”
Buck smiled at the father and sons matching grins.
“Time to sleep. bud,” Eddie reminded.
Buck followed Eddie to the living room and leaned against the wall as Eddie poked through a pile of random mail on the kitchen counter that hadn’t gotten the forward address notice. After a handful of minutes, the silence became too much.
“Shouldn’t be anything important, but I kept it just in case.”
Eddie hummed in acknowledgment.
“Night Buck, night dad,” Chris called out, as he stepped from the bathroom and headed towards his room.
“Night!” Eddie and Buck chuckled as their voices overlapped. Buck chewed on his lip, wanted to say everything all at once.
“I’m sure you’re exhausted… want to head to bed? Or, we can shoot the shit for a while…there’s this Netflix documentary I’ve been meaning to show you, or I think we’re behind on a couple of shows.
Eddie’s smile was fond as he shook his head.
“I think I’d pass out ten minutes in,” he admitted.
Buck snorted. “Alright old man, have it your way. Sheets are clean,” he motioned towards Eddie’s room.
Eddie raised an eyebrow, as he took in the blanket and pillow on the couch.
“Technically this is still your house. Why weren’t you sleeping on the bed? I wasn’t supposed to be here til tomorrow.”
Buck ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck as he shrugged..
“Just, uh, fell asleep watching something.”
It didn’t fool Eddie, who rolled his eyes.
“Dude, don’t be crazy. That couch is gonna kill your back. We can share the bed.”
Buck wavered, hesitating, and Eddie huffed an exasperated sigh.
“Come to bed, Buck.”
And so Buck did.
——
The barest hint of sunrise filled the room. Eddie, ever the soldier, jerked awake, the unexpected light in an unfamiliar room with an unfamiliar weight next to him too much input for his unconscious mind to be comfortable with. He blinked, eyes clearing of sleep as he took in his surroundings and relaxed back into the mattress. Safe.
Home.
Eddie breathed in, taking it all in. The mattress was different, but the room was the same. Buck lay beside him. Nothing out of place.
Buck.
The shadow of grief lifted as Eddie slowly let his eyes caress the other man. An errant curl lay crooked on his forehead. His face was relaxed in sleep in a way it never was when he was awake. Buck always exuded an abundance of energy, swaying when he was standing still, dancing when he was excited.
Eddie hadn’t seen that side of Buck, lately. Buck had been so burdened by Bobby’s death. Eddie could tell through his texts and calls that he wasn’t sleeping well, wasn’t eating. Yet, every other time he spoke to the man it seemed like he was bringing food to Athena. Eddie’s chest tightened, unable to imagine the pain Athena must be feeling. When Shannon had died, she wasn’t sleeping in his bed every night, wasn’t integrated into every aspect of his life, yet. Their relationship had been a shadow. And death had ended it. Til death do us part. Eddie wasn’t sure death could do much to tear Athena away from Bobby. Their kind of love seemed like something that Athena would mourn until she, herself died.
His vows with Shannon were never fulfilled, unless you count for richer or for poorer. He loved Shannon. But he’d never been in love with her. That feeling paled, compared to what he felt now. He had never let her be there for him, when he needed it. She had never let him be there for her, when her mother was ill, though he’d tried
In sickness and in health.
They hadn’t honored that one either. But with Buck - his leg, the tsunami, the shooting, and everything in between…
For better or for worse.
Eddie frowned. They’d had their share of worse, and Bobby’s death was something Eddie wasn’t sure how to help with. But he could do one thing. Be here.
To love, honor, and cherish.
Cherish. Eddie could do that. He could cherish Buck. He could honor Bobby’s memory. It seemed, without realizing it, they had wound themselves together, closer than friendship, closer than marriage.
Eddie felt a warmth, a rightness fill his chest. This is where he was meant to be. Buck was who he wanted. Buck was who he wanted to love, and cherish.
Buck’s eyelids fluttered, no doubt feeling the heaviness of Eddie’s gaze. His face lit up, eyes sparkling, mouth forming a lazy smile.
And Eddie’s whole being was filled with the need to let this man know just how much he wanted to keep him. To stay, like no one else had ever done.
His hand reached outwards. Buck blinked in confusion as Eddie fingers brushed the curl on his forehead. His eyes widened. And Eddie, gave in. Let go. Let himself feel. He cupped Bucks face in his palm, leaned in, slowly, so slowly.
When their lips touched it felt like molten sunshine cresting the horizon. Eddie breathed in Buck’s surprised exhale. Pressed forward as Buck melted into him. Savored him. Cherished.
To have and to hold.
Eddie drew back, rested his forehead on Buck’s for a moment.
Buck reared backwards.
“Eddie, sorry, oh god. Didn’t mean to confuse - in your bed, I’ll go-“
“Buck.”
Buck looked up from where he’d unsuccessfully been trying to untangle himself from the mess of blankets.
“I’m not confused, Buck.” Eddie laughed softly, smiled, tried to hide the shiver of doubt that had crept in when Buck crawled away from him. “I’ve never been less confused. I want, I thought… but if you don’t-“
“I do.” Buck blinked rapidly, shallow breaths loud in the early morning silence. “I do Eddie, god. For so long.”
Eddie’s smile glowed in the dim light.
“I love you.”
Eddie reached for Buck, and this time, Buck allowed himself to be drawn closer.
They crashed together like waves on the coast. Natural. Inevitable. They were never going to end up anywhere but here.