Chapter Text
Damian was sitting in his room, his music as loud as possible, which still wouldn’t really annoy his father because the manor was so huge that it was impossible to hear it on the other side. At least it would ward off any further attempts of conversation.
Damian never felt more like a teenager. Every single cliché was bubbling up at the surface. He was very glad that Maps had introduced him to My Chemical Romance because now he didn’t have to make his displeasure known through classical music.
He didn’t know how Bruce had made it known to Tim that the lessons were cancelled, but he hadn’t heard from Tim since.
Damian felt angry, unreasonably so. The only reason that he wasn’t jumping up and down and screaming, ‘This isn’t fair,’ in Bruce’s face was that he had too much respect for himself to stoop that low.
Instead, he had been staring at his computer angrily as if just staring at it would finish his assignments. A part of him wanted to sneak out, but he knew that would just make things worse for himself; the best thing he could do was wait for things to calm down since there was no way to contact Tim without Bruce knowing.
Damian stared at his computer, unless.
He booted up Minecraft. The server that Tim had set up was still running. It still wouldn’t change anything; it wasn’t as if he could continue the lessons. Even that, it had just been something he agreed to to get Bruce off his back.
Damian didn’t know why he cared this much. Tim was just the kid from next door. There was, of course, the connection between them and Robin. Tim knew about Robin, the original one.
Even without that connection, Damian would have been sad. That was the truth. Damian was sad that he could no longer spend time with Tim; it had been fun to have a prodigy who looked up to him.
It wasn’t that he had never taught anyone else; when Maps and her gang decided that playing detective was an incredible idea that anyone should do, Bruce sent him too make sure they wouldn’t die.
He didn’t exactly phrase it like that; he wanted Damian to make them stop, which, seeing as Maps decided to become a superhero in her own right, did not exactly go according to plan. At least not according to Batman’s plan.
She wasn’t the only one, Damian had teamed up plenty of times with other teen superheroes, bringing in his own expertise. He wasn’t friendless.
The difference was that no matter what Damian did, he couldn’t leave the shadows of his parentage. Whether they saw him as the son of the bat or the grandson of the great Ra’s al Ghul. It didn’t matter they saw him as one of those first and Damian, second.
Tim cared about Robin first.
Damian never blamed anyone for treating him as the son of the bat. For the longest time he had seen himself as his lineage; it was important to him. It was, in part, why he was created. He knew that at some point his parents had loved each other. Sometimes Damian silently wondered what would have happened if his father hadn’t been the bat but just some civilian man.
Damian sometimes didn’t know who he was, outside of his legacy.
Damian opened the server. It was exactly how he left it, he spawned into the house he had been building. Nothing happened for about ten minutes as Damian just wandered the server. Then Tim joined.
Crockythecrocodile: Damian?
DamianWayne147: Hello, Timothy
Crockythecrocodile: :D
Crockythecrocodile: hi!
DamianWayne147: I apologise that we can’t continue our lessons.
Crockythecrocodile12: It is not your fault!
Crockythecrocodile12: Did you get in trouble because of me?
DamianWayne147: I got in trouble because Father is being obstinate.
Crockythecrocodile12: He showed up in my room to tell me off
Damian sighed before he continued typing.
DamianWayne147: Did he frighten you?
Crockythecrocodile12: Nah
And a second later.
Crockythecrocodile12: Maybe a little bit but don’t tell him that
Damian smiled.
Crockythecrocodile12: I did tell him that it wasn’t your fault and that I already knew
DamianWayne147: It’s alright when my father decides that something is the right way; nothing can change his mind.
Crockythecrocodile12: I think it is stupid, you didn’t do anything wrong
DamianWayne147: I did have you fight criminals.
Crockythecrocodile12: So?
DamianWayne147: You could have been hurt.
Crockythecrocodile12: But you were there?
DamianWayne147: I know, but he doesn’t see it that way.
Crockythecrocodile12: That is dumb
A loud knock sounded on Damian’s door.
DamianWayne147: I have to leave now; I will talk to you later.
Crockythecrocodile12: Okay :D
Damian quickly closed Minecraft and opened the door. He was greeted by Alfred, who invited him to dinner.
When Damian later logged on to the server, he found a book that Tim had left behind. It was titled 'For Damian!!! And inside it said, ‘I can’t play anymore, my mom doesn’t want me to have too much screen time :( but don’t worry I have got a plan!’
Which was something that Damian worried slightly about, but he decided to trust his young prodigy and not warn Bruce about whatever it was.
Three days later, Damian was sitting in the Batcave waiting for his father to return for the night. He might have been banned from patrolling, but Bruce quickly gave up banning him from the cave. It wasn’t as if Damian could sleep right now anyway.
He was just slowly going through his exercises as he had done the previous nights. He hadn’t heard from Tim since his ominous message.
Bruce had returned the past few days looking very moody, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything, he was almost always a bit moody, and going out without backup always made him a bit more moody.
Loud rumbling vibrated through the cave. Damian frowned, it was very early to end patrol. He got up and walked towards the entrance.
The Batmobile came to a halt. Batman got out of the car upon seeing Damian he physically sighed. For a moment Damian felt offended until Tim leapt out of the car wearing a homemade superhero suit. Tim waved to Damian; hesitantly, Damian waved back.
“What is going on?” Damian asked as he walked closer.
“Someone got inspired.” Bruce was glaring hard.
Tim happily skipped over, “The Batmobile is so cool. Way better than my mum's car.”
“Tim.” Bruce said harshly.
Tim took a step back, but there was a smile playing around his lips.
“What happened?” Damian asked again.
“Nothing to concern you with.” Bruce said at the same time Tim said, “I am proving that I totally can be a vigilante and that you didn’t make a mistake bringing me.”
“I see,” Damian said.
“And you will stop it now.” Bruce said.
“No.” Tim said, even as Batman towered over him, “I will not.”
“You are ten years old.”
“I want to help.” Tim continued.
“You can help by staying at home.” Bruce said.
“I want to make clear that this is not my fault.” Damian said.
Bruce whipped around, “You trained him; you thought it was a good idea to bring him with you.”
“So, what?” Damian bit back.
“He is ten years old.”
“So was I.” Damian glared at him, refusing to back down.
“That was different; you know it was different.”
“I don’t see it.” Damian snarled.
Damian waited for Bruce to clap back for them to continue the fight; instead, Tim piped up, “It isn’t Damian’s fault. Please don’t be mad at him.”
Bruce deflated and turned to Tim, Damian saw him breathe in and out once before kneeling down in front of Tim, “It is very nice for you to stand up for him.”
Tim’s face scrunched up in annoyance, “It is the truth.”
“Would you have gone out if it weren’t for his training?”
“I don’t know, but anyone could have taught me those skills, and most people would have done a worse job at it.” Tim glanced towards Damian, “I snuck out before.”
“Before?” Bruce implored
“Before Mom got kidnapped, I had found something shady on her company, and I wanted to know more, so I snuck out, Damian found me and took me back home.”
Bruce turned towards Damian, “You didn’t tell me about this.” He said the accusation heavy in his tone.
Damian felt his hackles rise again. “So?” he said.
Damian could almost see his father physically bite his tongue, but he didn’t take the bait, instead turning back to put his focus on Tim.
He took off his mask and gave Tim a small smile, it surprised Damian. “I get that you want to help, but Tim, it isn’t safe, you are a child.”
When Tim opened his mouth to protest, Bruce just held up one finger, silencing him.
“I know that you are smart and capable, but that doesn’t mean that you are not a child, a child that I promised your mother to keep safe. I can’t knowingly put you in danger.”
Tim frowned, thinking lines appearing in his forehead, “You are right.” Tim said.
Bruce blinked, surprised at the easy dismissal.
Tim walked over and sat down on the mat.
“I probably should bring you home soon.” Bruce said.
Tim nodded, but he was still frowning off into space.
Damian shot Bruce a look and sat down next to Tim. Bruce nodded and walked away to the computer, which was the second time that night that his father surprised Damian; he trusted him.
“What are you thinking about?” Damian asked, he bumped Tim slightly with his shoulder.
Tim looked up, “Do you think that Bruce is right? Am I really too young?”
“Yes and no.”
Tim looked at him confused.
“I was ten when I started as Robin.” Damian started, “but I was trained from a much younger age, I was always expected to be grown up without being treated as such. I didn’t get to have a normal childhood, I needed to be Robin.” He looked ahead into the darkness. “You can be a normal kid; forget about all of this.”
“I don’t think I could ever forget.”
“Didn’t think you could.”
Tim bit his lip. “I don’t want to hurt my mom.”
Damian shot a look at his father. “That is just a part of growing up sometimes, hurting our parents.”
Tim followed his gaze, “Okay, I know what I am going to do.”
He stood up and walked over to where Bruce was standing. Damian didn’t follow him he just watched as Tim talked to him. He could read the lines in Bruce’s face, furrowed tense; still, there was a fondness there in the way he looked at Tim as the kid talked passionately. In the end Bruce nodded before he held out his hand, Tim took it, and they shook once.
Tim ran back quickly to where Damian was sitting, “I am going home now, I will see you next week.” He was smiling.
Damian waited sitting on the mat until Bruce came back from bringing Tim home. His father slowly lowered himself to the ground to sit next to Damian.
“I am sorry.” He said.
Damian blinked; this night didn’t cease to surprise him.
“I shouldn’t have benched you or forbidden you from seeing Tim again.”
“Okay”, Damian said, “I didn’t mean to endanger him.”
“I know.” Bruce said, “He is stubborn, that one.”
“What did he say?”
“We agreed that you could continue training him.” Bruce said.
“I gathered.”
Bruce breathed out long and hard as if it was difficult for him to say, “I am also going to be training him.”
Damian raised an eyebrow.
“He promised not to go out again until I deem him ready.” Bruce explained, “I don’t like it, but.”
“You couldn’t dissuade him.” Damian said.
“And he reminded me what it felt like to be a child.” Bruce said.
Damian frowned, “What do you mean?”
Bruce was silent for a bit as if he was trying to find the words. “When I was eight, my parents got shot, and I was powerless to stop it.” He started, “Children are powerless. They can’t make the bad things stop happening, and when they see the bad things happen, they are oftentimes not taken seriously. You have given him the tools to stop it. How can I stop him from using them?”
“Oh,” Damian said.
Bruce was staring at him, his eyes intense as if he broke down to Damian’s core, the helpless child within him that, despite everything, was still screaming. Tears suddenly pricked in Damian’s eyes. He blinked quickly to keep them at bay.
It was silent in the cave except for the screeching of the bats and the soft humming of the computer.
“I don’t think I want to go to college.” Damian suddenly said.
Bruce turned towards him but didn’t say anything for a little while. “What do you want to do then?”
“I don’t know,” Damian said.
“Okay.” Bruce said, “We will look into it.” He put an arm around Damian and pulled the boy to him in a half-hug. Damian let himself fall into the embrace.
A month flew past as Damian's exams crept ever closer. Summer slowly warmed up the streets of Gotham, leaving the mornings surrounded by mist as the water slowly rose up from the streets.
Damian still hadn’t decided what he wanted to do next year, but the freeing feeling of not having to know yet kept most of the anxiety at bay.
Tim had become a staple of the Batcave. Bruce was sitting behind the Batcomputer. Damian had sent Tim to sneak up to him and try to catch him off guard.
“What are you doing?” He said loudly.
Bruce just calmly looked at him, Damian could see a small smile play around his lips. He looked back to where Damian, previously presumed hidden, was standing in the shadows. Damian sighed and walked over to the computer.
“He didn’t react at all.” Tim reported.
“Nobody catches the night off guard.” Bruce said, putting on the Batman voice.
Tim laughed as Damian rolled his eyes.
“Just keep practising, chum; you’ll get me someday.” Bruce said.
Tim nodded seriously.
“Do you want to see what I am working on?” Bruce asked.
Tim’s eyes widened, “Can I?” he said before enthusiastically grabbing a chair.
Damian wandered over to the equipment while he kept observing the two. His father's eyes were crinkling around the corners as he explained the case he was working on. It was strange to watch the two communicate. Despite the subject, a gruesome murder on the street between the 4th and 5th avenue, Tim managed to light up the room.
Sometimes Damian couldn’t help but feel jealous of him. The way it came so easy to Tim, being good.
Damian had to fight for every smile that his father made, smiles that Tim produced easily. It was an ugly feeling, and Damian did not like it. He did not like feeling like that. Despite that, the feeling didn’t leave easily, curling deeper in his stomach as Tim somehow managed to find a detail in the case that Bruce had missed.
Damian sat in the car angrily staring out of the window. It had been a calm night, and they were headed back to the cave.
He could feel his father’s gaze bore into his back. “What is wrong?” He asked.
“Nothing.” Damian said angrily.
“That doesn’t sound like nothing.”
Damian ignored him and kept glaring at the window.
The car suddenly swerved into the wrong street. Damian looked up, “What are you doing?”
“Nothing.” Bruce said annoyingly.
Damian glared at him before deciding it was not his problem and continuing his staring competition with the glass window.
Bruce stopped in front of the clock tower in the middle of Gotham. He got out, walked over to the other side and opened Damian’s door. “Come on.”
Damian rolled his eyes but followed him. Bruce shot off his grapple and pulled himself up onto the tower. Bruce stood in front of the clock, his cape blowing in the wind. Damian landed next to him.
Bruce was silent for a while before finally saying, “What do you see?”
Damian raised an eyebrow, “The city?”
“No, look.” Bruce said insistently.
Damian sighed and put his gaze on the city, on the many rooftops, on the smoke billowing up out of the chimneys, and on the few people still out even at this late hour. It wasn’t a nice city; no, Gotham didn’t put up with any fake kindness, but for the past 7 years it had been home.
Bruce must have seen something in his face because he started talking. As he observed the city, “When you came to me, I had no idea what to do. I didn’t want a child, and you were just so.”
“If you are going to list my failings, I don’t need to hear it.” Damian interrupted Bruce.
“No, that is not.” Bruce said, “Robin, I wasn’t ready to be a father, but I wouldn’t change anything for the world.”
Damian looked at his father; he couldn’t see his face, but there was a softness to his gaze as he looked at the city. “You wouldn’t?”
“I wish I could have made things easier for you.” He answered honestly, “But no, I am glad you are here.”
Damian hesitated, “Sometimes.” He started and then he stopped, but Bruce didn’t say anything. He continued, “Sometimes I fear that you would rather have me be a normal kid.”
“Like Tim.” Bruce said, annoyingly knowing exactly what Damian was feeling.
Damian looked away, not wanting to admit to the ugly pit in his stomach.
Bruce stepped closer until they were almost touching. “Would it have been easier if you were a more normal kid? I won’t lie to you and say that that wouldn’t be the case. It would have been easier but I can’t erase your past, just like nobody could erase mine.” He said.
“What do you mean?”
“You might not know this, but I was a nightmare as a child. I am honestly lucky that Alfred put up with me.”
Damian couldn’t help but gape at him, “You were.”
“The absolute worst,” Bruce grunted, “It is not easy to raise a kid who is grieving both his parents.”
“Oh.” Damian said the wind was softly blowing through the air. They stood there for a while just in silence watching until Damian suddenly yawned, after which Bruce just nodded and jumped down to the street.
The next morning Damian woke up early despite the late night. Slowly, he made the track downstairs where Alfred was preparing breakfast. Damian sat down on a stool by the kitchen and led his head lean on the counter.
Alfred didn’t say anything and just continued with the preparation.
After a while, Damian lifted his head, curiosity getting the better of him. “Is it true that Father was a difficult child?”
Alfred looked at him surprised upon hearing the question, “Well, that is one way of putting it.” He said. Then he gave Damian a smile and started fondly telling him anecdotes of his father as a child.
An hour later Bruce finally made it downstairs, still looking half-asleep.
“Is it true that you ran away for six years when you were sixteen?” Damian asked as soon as he entered.
Bruce just grunted tiredly.
Alfred shook his head, “If I am not mistaken, that is how he met your mother.”
Bruce shrugged, “I needed training.” He said in lieu of an explanation.
“You wanted me to go to college.” Damian said accusingly.
“Yes, I do. I think it would be good for you.”
High school graduation was a whole affair for something which, in theory, almost everybody should be able to do. Still, at the end, Damian walked off with a diploma, and that was that.
It wouldn’t be very long before Damian turned 18, which in America would make him an adult in almost all ways except alcohol consumption and gambling. He had slowly started to plan out his next year. His father wasn’t happy with his choice, but he also wouldn’t stop him.
Still, before he could do anything else, he first had to do something important. Tim was sitting on a chair in front of him, pushing his legs back and forth as he waited for Damian to take a seat.
“What is going on?” Tim asked.
“We need to talk.” Damian stated.
“I gathered.” Tim said, holding up the invitation that Damian had sent him.
Damian suddenly felt very nervous. He grabbed the bag and put it on his lap. “As you know, there was a Robin before me.”
Tim nodded.
“As far as I am aware, we are the only two who have ever seen him.”
“Except for the goons.” Tim added.
Damian nodded, “Except for the goons.”
“He told me that if Batman was Gotham’s darkness, then Robin was his light.” Damian crinkled the bag slightly.
“Batman needs a Robin.” Tim said seriously.
“In a way.” Damian said, “As you know, I soon will become an adult, and I have decided to leave Gotham and travel back to my homeland.”
“You are leaving.” Tim exclaimed, jumping up from his chair.
Damian held up a hand, “Not forever.”
Tim deflated, falling back into his chair. “Where are you going?” Tim asked.
“I was born in a place called the League of Assassins; I came here when I was ten,” Damian said.
“They don’t sound very nice.” Tim said.
“They aren’t very nice, but it was my home once.” Damian said.
Tim nodded, and Damian was glad that he didn’t continue asking. He didn’t really know how to explain his reasoning, why he wanted to go back now. He hadn’t felt the need in a long time, the memories slowly warped by time. Maybe that was why he had to go. He had already told Bruce about this part of the plan the night before. He had listened quietly as Damian explained himself and what he wanted.
“I don’t like it.” Bruce said.
“I know. That is why I am bringing Jon and Maps.”
Bruce grimaced, “Superboy and Batgirl.” A beat and then, “Fine.”
Damian smiled.
“As long as you keep in contact.”
“I promise.”
It would still be a couple of months before they would actually leave. Before Damian would go, he still had something important to do. He handed the bag to Tim. Tim hesitantly took the bag from Damian.
“What is this?”
“Open it.”
Hesitantly Tim opened it, as soon as he saw what was inside, his mouth fell open. “Are you sure?”
Damian nodded, “There is nobody else I would give this to.”
“I will not disappoint you.” Tim promised.
“I would expect nothing else from you,” Damian said as Tim completely removed the costume from the bag, “Robin.”