Chapter Text
—
J-Money: EMERGENCY
J-Money: Dont really ask why, farts ready and windy
Sage Berwyn: Testing hidden exits, every alternate route through hell.
J-Money: sorerengail just KILLED UR AGENT DUDE
Sage Berwyn: Our agent at Basgiath is secure.
J-Money: NO IM SRS
J-Money: VARISH IS DEAD
Sage Berwyn: Major Burton Varrish is not one of our agents.
J-Money: wait wtf
J-Money: rly
J-Money: ive been tellin u this hole time i hate him cuz hes so slimy n he keeps talkin 2 me abt random shit and tellin me 2 try to win over sorrengial
J-Money: ur tellin me hes not ur fucking agent?? the fuck dude u srs??
Sage Berwyn: Our agent at Basgiath is secure.
J-Money: MY LIFE IS A LIE BRO
J-Money: fuk is smth happenin??? ledership is all leaving
Sage Berwyn: Excellent. Use this opportunity to find out how to access the wardstone chamber.
J-Money: rogerroger
Sage Berwyn: Who is Roger?
J-Money: nvm
—
J-Money: EMERGENCY
J-Money: every snigle cadet is leaving to fk off n disappaer cuz sorengial n riorson just told everyone abt the vennin
Sage Berwyn: Please use the official code phrase when contacting me.
J-Money: FUCKSSAEK BERRY U NO ITS ME
J-Money: DONT RLY ANSWER WHEN FKN RAW OTTERS MATE
J-Money: THEY TOLD EVRYONE ABOUT THE VENNIN
Sage Berwyn: Travesty heralds existence, everyone always relinquishes to hate.
J-Money: CAN U READ
Sage Berwyn: We will deal with this. Remain undercover. Play your part.
Sage Berwyn: Have you accessed the wardstone chamber yet?
J-Money: bro i fked someone in there yesterday, im a legend ok
Sage Berwyn has notifications turned off.
—
J MF’in BLow: u up
C. Ashton: 🖕
J MF’in BLow: dont b like that babe
C. Ashton: You’re only texting me because your girlfriend is gone.
J MF’in BLow: that wuz a misunderstntadin
J MF’in BLow: ur the only 1 for me
J MF’in BLow: istg i donut even care abt her at all
J MF’in BLow: AT ALL
C. Ashton: What’s her favourite colour?
J MF’in BLow: probly violet why
C. Ashton: Fuck you.
J MF’in BLow: IM JSUT GUESSING OMG U ASKED
—
Jack-in-the-Sack: u miss me
ScribeMindRiderHeart: I swear to Dunne if you message me again I’m going to drive a dagger into your balls.
Jack-in-the-Sack: hot
ScribeMindRiderHeart has blocked this number.
—
Sage Berwyn: Death rears alight, we fell riders of might.
J-Money: i dont get it. wen u start it confuses me
Sage Berwyn: It is time. General Melgren has taken the bait. In two days time, bring your dragon to the wardstone chamber and spill her lifeblood on the stone. This will destroy the stone, bring down the wards, and leave our path free to victory.
Sage Berwyn: At last, we will reveal ourselves to Navarre. At last we will have revenge.
J-Money: wen do i get paid
Sage Berwyn: I don’t—that’s not—look, Barlowe, you little shit, just do your fucking job.
J-Money: hloy shit dude im out here riskin my balls 4u, cn u venmo me or smth??
J-Money: omg VENmo ajhahahaha
Sage Berwyn has notifications turned off.
J-Money: thats fkn gold bro lmfao
J-Money: don hate
—
Jack Baidelowe: u up
BAIDE: I serve.
Jack Baidelowe: its time bb
BAIDE: I serve.
Jack Baidelowe: meet me @ the wardstone chambr in 10
BAIDE: I serve.
—
J-Money: berry i did it
J-Money: i took down the wards by myfknself, im redy to be an asim
J-Money: lemme kno wen u get here so u can come bust me out
—
J-Money: hows it goin berry?
J-Money: im in jail rn but i hear roars, everythin goin gud? it all worked?
J-Money: someone update me
—
J-Money: Damn right all women fall right on my
J-Money: dick
J-Money: berryyyyyyyy i used the code phrase even
J-Money: bro wher r u??
—
J-Money has updated their name to J-Lonely.
—
J-Lonely: !asim ❌
J-Lonely: !fate ❌
J-Lonely: !gate ❌
J-Lonely: !wait ✅
J-Lonely: aw ffs berry u used a fkn empyrdle to tell me 2 wait? u cuda jst texted me
—
Xaden Riorson: What the fuck is this?
J-Lonely: OH FUCK YES HAHAHAAAAAAA OMFG