Chapter Text
Sitting on a hard wooden bench, Kat finished up her third scribble of the evening. The setting sun left a cool shade on her back as she watched Nora and Autumn’s skateboards slapping on the pavement. Swann’s attention, and camera, were captivated by any critter that cries, chirps or whistles.
Kat raised her head as the roar of skateboard wheels came closer.
She was greeted by thick eyeliner and fiery red bangs.
“Hey Kat,” Nora plopped down next to her, accidentally bumping against her shoulder. The skateboard made a loud clack sound as it hit the ground at the skaters' failed attempt to pop it up in her hands.
“Whatcha drawing?” Kat shifted away out of instinct.
“It’s nothing.” She took another quick glance at her muse. Dark curly hair, the ends faded purple, her golden earrings reflecting the evening sun, a purple oversized cotton shirt, and pink Nike SBs. She looked so pretty, Kat thought.
“YO SWANN SWANN,” Autumn cheered. “Did you see that?!!” Her arms up at her sides, sweat shining on her forehead. She had just landed a rolling kick flip.
But, Swann was facing the concrete. A group of seagulls fighting over dropped french fries. “Oh…no, I’m sorry Autumn, can-can you do it again? I’ll record this time.”
Kat frowned as Autumn's shoulders fell.
“Uh yeah, I’ll try,” she picked up her board and jogged back to the start. Her voice faltering a bit.
“Wait, is that supposed to be Autumn?” Nora was loud in Kat’s ear. She reached over Kat and pointed with her finger. The messy drawing of a skater flipping her skateboard in the air.
“Uh, yeah?” She tried to play it cool, shrugging off her embarrassment. She knew Nora wouldn’t care. Well she would care, but not care in a bad way. Like the way Dylan might care, or the way her parents would definitely care.
“No way, these are so good! she should see them!”
“Oh uh, I don’t know-“ Kat's eyes lowered away from her friend. She rested her pencil down on her notebook.
Nora snatched the journal out of Kat’s lap and sped towards her best friend.
“Hey Autumn! Look at this,” her hands waving in the air from excitement.
Kat felt glued to her seat, anxiety took over her body like weighed chains. Her eyes widened in fear.
“n-NORA!” Kat pushed herself off the bench. Luckily for Kat Nora stopped halfway at the sound of her name. Her head was tilted to the side like she’s asking a question.
“What?” Her body half turned towards kat. The open notebook fully facing her chest.
Kats eyebrows furrowed. “g-give it back,” she grabbed it and pushed Nora’s shoulder. A stuttered word coming out of anger. She cringed at her words.
“Ow, dude.” Nora whined, putting her hand on her chest for show.
“Uh…you okay..kat?” Autumn asked as she and Swann made their way over.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Kat swiftly hides her notebook behind her back. Her shoulders tensed.
Kat couldn’t take it, Swann and Autumn’s eyes looked full of pity..mockery..whatever it was. Kat didn’t like it. “I’m just gonna go for a ride.” She sped-walked to her bicycle trying not to make it even more awkward.
“Should we wait for you to get back or…?” Swann asked. Kat chose not to answer, instead she peddled as hard as she could. She was out of their sight in a second.
“Dude,” Autumn slapped the guitar player’s arm. “What the hell did you do?”
“I…uh I..I don’t know?”
———-
Kat peddled so hard her feet began to go sore. A pit of embarrassment sat in her stomach at every push. She definitely wasn’t going back there. She couldn’t see them at least not for today. They’d probably talk about it or maybe ask her what’s wrong but she didn’t feel like explaining. She couldn’t explain it- not fully, not even to herself.
Turning into a forest, she rested as she started to recognize the trees. She was on her Dad’s property. It had gotten darker and the branches began to sway and curve as her vision distorted. She flinched as she heard something rusling against some bushes. A doe, emerging from the greenie. It’s head bobbing up and down the closer it got to Kat. Its eyes shone blue in the moonlight.
“Hi.” Kat whispered. Stretching her hand out towards the deer as it inched closer. The doe sniffles her hand. Moving its head from side to side looking over Kat. It bowed down and began smelling her boots. “Ummm?”
The ear splitting sound of a rifle cracked through the air breaking any semblance of peace and curiosity from the deer. The doe spooked, charging past Kat knocking her and her bicycle over. Ravens cawed and flapped their swings soaring out of trees overhead.
Kat groaned as her body hit the ground. Pressure pushing against her ear as a high pitched ringing took over her senses. Her hands shot up to cover her ears.
“The hell?” She heard someone swear under their breath. Her Father approached from out of the bushes and trees. His night goggles plastered on his face. Green light shining from where his eyes should be. “What do you think you’re doing out here Kat?” His voice sounded louder than the gunshot. Overwhelming. Kat’s head began to heat with rage.
“Did you just shoot at me!?” Kat tried to level her voice, she failed as she sat up. Her words were laced with venom as she shouted.
“Yeah, the doe got in my way.” He phrased it like a joke but his tone told something else entirely. His voice was one full of bitterness. He extended his hand as an offering. Kat refused, lightly pushing it away as she stood up herself. Her ears popped with pressure.
He turned up his lip. His face hardened as he harshly grabbed her wrist. “Kathryn, you better not be causing me more trouble. That stunt you pulled a month ago was enough,” He twisted her arm. “ Now what are you doing? You wanna burn the woods down too?” His grip grew tighter at every word.
“What? No. I’m just-“ Kat struggled to get her wrist free. The sharp pain made it hard to speak.
Her Father pulled her towards himself, nearly throwing her off her feet again. “Go home.” A bright yellow-ish light shining from Dylan’s room caught her eye in the tree clearing. He tossed her free.
“But my bike-“
His big frame came in between Kat and her bike.
“I’ll get it. Go home.”
Kat let out a frustrated noise in between a sigh and a grown. Her forearm pulsed with burning heat.
“You’re grounded.”
“What!”
“GO!”
Kat huffed and puffed her way through the woods. Kicking any twig or pebble in her way. She used the yellow light emitting from her too big of a house as a beacon.
Kat slammed the front door shut to announce her presence. Dylan scurried out to the hallway following the forceful sound. She wore her pink matching pajamas. An annoyed expression plastered on her sister’s face. “Ugh what the fucks your problem?” Her hands placed squarely on her hips.
“Dad fucking shot at me!”
“What?” Dylan’s demeanor shifted. Her hands immediately reached towards Kat to comfort. Kat kept her arms to herself, she looked away from Dylan’s disheartened expression. Her eyes instead found their family photo on the wall, fake smiles and all.
“He fucking shot at me. Tried to scare me or whatever. It was crazy.”
“Jesus…You’re okay though right?”
“Yeah, I’m fine Dylan.”
“Okay, well don’t tell mom.” Dylan sighed.
Kat just stared. She wasn’t planning on telling her mom. Mom wouldn’t even believe her if she did,but if she did then the night would just turn into tears and yelling and screaming and more shit then she’d like to deal with.
“Okay?” Kat shrugged.
“Oh also, one of your friends called. Said you ran off or something? Where were you?”
“Nowhere,” Kat deflected. “Who called?”
“Ugh, seriously Kat?” Dylan’s annoyance reappeared on her face.
“It doesn’t matter where I was, who called?” Kat had figured that if Dylan didn’t tell Kat about her business then why should Kat give out hers.
“Fine, whatever,” Dylan scoffed. “Autumn- I think?”
Kat nearly jumped towards the landline behind Dylan.
She snatched the phone off its deck. “Is mom asleep?”
“Yeah, why?” Dylan’s hands fell back to her hips.
“No reason,” Kat typed in Autumn’s number by heart. Her excitement rose as she heard the phone ring.”can you like-? Go?”
“Whatever, just don’t be loud.” Dylan curtly walked back to the living room resuming whatever she was doing earlier.
The phone clicked through. “Lockhart resident. Autumn speaking.” Kat smiled at the sound of Autumn’s sleepy voice.
“H-Hey Autumn.” Kat fidgeted with her pants chain.
Kat heard the girl gasp on the other line. “Kat? Hi. I’m so glad you're safe. I was getting a little worried when Dylan told me you hadn’t been home yet.” She felt her heartbeat rise. Again.
“Pft-Don’t worry about me Autumn, I’m fine.” Kat tried lowering her voice in an effort to sound cool.
“You know that’s like- impossible for me right?” Kat heard Autumn smile through the phone.
“Yeah, thanks though.”
Kat wiped her free hand on her dusty overalls.
“Of course….um earlier when you left, sorry if Nora was being like- weird or something.” She giggled.
“No, uh I just needed space, I’m good now.”
“So you’re still coming to movie night tomorrow, at Nora’s?”
“Yeah, duh, I’m not missing Swann’s horror movies.”
“Oh and hey if you want to like- hangout a little earlier before we go to Nora’s, you can.” Kat was beaming.
Alone time with Autumn was great it’s exactly what someone would need after spending any time in a house like this. A house where yelling and tear are normalized.
“Oh yeah…that'd be cool.” Kat answered, her fake voice still in use.
“Oh okay, see you tomorrow. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.” Kat waited for the click to end the phone call. She couldn’t contain herself. Kat pumped up her arms, and punched the air. “FUCK YEAHHHH!” She shuffled in place, moving her hands and feet around in excitement. Her eyes closed during her impromptu dance moves.
“KAT!”
“Shit! Sorry.”
————-
Autumn was reading her summer homework. She’d be lying if she said her friends weren’t bad influences when it came to getting her work done. She would’ve had this finished already but her social life was such a positive distraction. Kat as a positive distraction. Autumn hadn’t gotten a chance to tell her but she thought kats short hair really suited her, but now kats hair had grown out, especially on the top. Autumn smiled to herself thinking of the uneven haircut, Kat was always so cute, with her little stance. Her hands placed on her hips like a superhero. And honestly kat kind of was a hero. She got Corey locked up, and she made this summer so special…..here Autumn was, sighing dreamily of blue eyes and blonde hair, her legs crisscrossed on her warm, messy bed. Re-reading the same paragraph about why the caged bird sings when a small knock broke her out of her trance.
“Autumn?” A familiar voice called.
Kat? Kat was here? In her house? She wanted to come in while Autumn had on the most ripped and over worn shorts and shirt she owned. Does the universe hate her? She knew Kat was coming. But now?? She still had three hours before movie night.
“Kat?”
“Yeah it’s me, can I come in?”
“Uh..,yeah one second.” Autumn scurried off her bed slipping on different lounge pants and fumbling around for another shirt. The final touch was throwing her stuffed bunny off her bed.
“C-come in.” She sat back in her bed, trying to act normal and pretend her heart beat hadn’t quickened.
“Hi Kat?!” She waved playfully trying to disguise any nervousness.
Kat didn’t react. Instead she walked over and sat next to Autumn on the bed. Their legs hanging off of it. Kat turned to Autumn and laid her head on her shoulder. After a couple seconds Kat began to nudge Autumn with her head. When the bassist didn’t move Kat took one of her hands and placed it on Autumn's other shoulder. She gave her a light push and Autumn let herself fall on her back. Wasting no time Kat placed herself where she really wanted to be. She was laid out starfish style on top of Autumn, her head laying on her chest.
Autumn adored when Kat was like this. Soft and gentle. She’d often whisper her words when she got like this. The side of Kat isn’t new. In fact she’s always been there, she just hides away. And maybe one day the thought as to why Kat does this, won’t eat Autumn inside.
Autumn chuckled at the punk's forwardness. “Hello?
What’s this? You okay?”
She heard a muffled “I’m fine.” In response.
“You sure?” She asked again. Less casual. More deliberate.
“Yeah….just wanna be like this for a while.” Kat’s voice still muffled against Autumn’s chest.
Autumn hummed as she ran her hands through Kats short hair. It was growing back darker than expected. Her hair was getting so long that Autumn’s fingers could almost hide in it.
“Dylan said something about my hair.” Kat mumbled in disgust.
“Mhm?”
“She was like: what are you gonna do with your hair?” Kat made sure to add an atrocious amount of sarcasm to her already mocking nasally voice.
“And then my mom was like: let it grow out long again. I told her I liked it short and she said it looked ugly and that people are gonna mistake me for a little boy.”
Autumn tried to hide her laughter from the last line with a gasp.
“But I don’t know….um what do you think?” Kat raised her head and shoulders up to look Autumn in the eyes. Her face still inches away from her chest. The skater's hand fell off Kats head and to her side.
The intensity in Kat’s eyes took Autumn’s breath away as she thought of an answer.
“Um…I mean…I like your hair. It looks cute and badass.” Her hand returned to Kat's head. “And well if you like it then you should keep it.”
Kat stole glances at Autumn’s lips as she explained.
“Thanks.” She smiled. Kat leaned in and kissed Autumn. Autumn’s hand lowered and cupped kats face casually deepening the kiss.
“You feeling a little better?” Autumn asked as they parted. Her hands cradling Kat's cheeks. Kats whole face was pink. She felt like she was floating whenever she was in Autumn’s arms. Kat gave her a quick peck before answering.
“Yes.”
Autumn moved to sit up, her back planted on the bed’s headboard. Kat followed her and propped herself on her knees. Kat surprised her with another kiss, causing Autumn to giggle.
“Hey?” Autumn’s eyes are as full as the moon. Bright and so pretty. Kat often found herself getting lost in them.
“Yeah?” Kat answered. Her eyes were completely lost in all of Autumn’s freckles.
“Can I do your hair?”
———-
Kat watched Autumn’s back as she rummaged through the bright pink kaboodle on her dresser. Kat sat, swinging her legs at the end of the bed. Her hands folded in the middle of her lap.
“What’re you gonna do to me?” Kat said with a smirk on her face.
Autumn returned the expression. Hands full of colorful rubber bands and hair clips.
“You’ll see,” she slid herself on the bed, placing the accessories on the comforter.
They scooted closer, their legs opposite of each other. Kat saw Autumn’s eyes move around her face.
“What are you doing? She met Autumn’s eyes. Her eyelids heavy in the skater’s comfortable presence.
“Counting…shhh.” Autumn stared harder. Kat felt hot under her gaze. her whole face flushed.
“Counting what?” Kat quieted her voice. They were so close she felt obligated to whisper.
“Your moles.” She whispered back. If Kat wasn’t careful they’d end up in their previous position. Hair nowhere near done.
“Why?” she leaned in.
“Cause why not?”
There was a pause.
“That’s weird.” Kat’s voice returned to normal, she raised her head up to the ceiling and away from Autumn’s face.
“Is it? Autumn sighed. She leaned backwards and created a respectable distance. “Nora used to count my freckles all the time.”
“Mhm.” Kat shrugged off her unease from the thought of Nora’s face close to Autumn's.
“And I’m sure…she’s probably done the same to Swann.” Autumn let her hands rest on her knees as she looked down at her comforter. Her eyes traced its intricate designs. Her mouth caved into a little frown. She looked heartbroken, and Kat hated it. The way Autumn's voice lingered in discomfort made Kat squirm.
“Umm Anyway.” Autumn shook her head, now sporting an involuntary smile. “Let's do your hair!”
-
“Ugh, this isn’t working.” Autumn moaned. She struggled with Kat's hair. It’s length is mostly on the top and not evenly across her head. Kats admitted to having done some impromptu touch ups recently. “Can you sit on the floor for me?” she had spent 10 minutes in the first braid. The awkward angle left aches in her arms and hands. Something had to change.
Wordlessly Kat pulled herself down on the carpet flooring. Autumn legs hanging off her bed.
“Hold still,” Autumn guided kats head to the side. Looping the braids and closing them off with pink and blue rubber bands. This position felt comfortable, and she began to braid the punk's hair with ease. Kat struggled not to move her head but she couldn’t help herself to visual tours of Autumn’s room.
The walls are a light shade of green. Behind Kat was the bed. Even though It’s headboard pushed up against the wall, it took up most of the space in her room. In front of her was a shelf. Its bottom half, covered with action figures and mini toys. The next level was completely empty. A scratched out spot where her unicom console laid. Its current home of four years was Nora’s garage. And on top of the short white chipped paint self, was a small gray tv.
On all her walls were posters of skateboarders, video games and musicians.
There was another shelf filled with what Kat assumed were books, but if she moved her head far enough…..
“Hey!”
“Oh, sorry” Kat cringed and moved her eyes to the left instead. Autumn’s skateboard sat near her door. She took a minute to look over the scratch marks, the faded color, the ruined stickers.
“Autumn?”
“Yeah.”
“How long have you had that skateboard?”
“Umm? About a year?”
“Cool. When are you supposed to replace it?”
“Based on how often I skate properly for like…2 months?”
“2 MONTHS???” Kat’s mouth wided in shock.
“I know I know, but I like that deck. My dad bought it for me.” “Plus do you have the money to bus down to Milwaukee or Detroit?”
“I got the money,but I wouldn’t know how to get there.”
“I mean- I’ve been to Detroit with my dad, but I probably know the way to Milwaukee. I've been with Nora like a billion times.“
“We should go! One day.” Kat tilted her head up “Get you a really nice deck.” She smiled up at Autumn.
“Maybe…” Autumn kissed Kat’s forehead.
Kat's eyes hooded as she left out a relaxing sigh.
“Hey,” she ran her fingers gently along the side of kats head. “I think I’m done.”
“Cool.” Kat nodded her head as autumn reached to give her a mirror. “Mhm?”
“Ya like it?” Kat caught Autumn’s smile in the corner of the mirror.
“Ummmm…..yeah?” She dragged out the last syllable. Desperately trying to hold back her laugh. She failed. And a sound mixed between a sneeze and laugh came through her nose.
Autumn sarcastically rolled her eyes. “I tireddddd,” she sighed.
The laugh started to seep into her voice. “No…no…it’s umm…it looks great.” Kat’s shoulders bounced with her laughter.
“Oh my god, whatever….” Autumn snatched the mirror from the blonde. Kat’s fingers were weak.
She gave in to her joyfulness. Kat laughed. The witchy way she does, where soft chuckles turn into full cackles. Almost doubling over on the carpet from where she sat.
The braids looked strange on Kat’s short hair. They stood up like candles on a cake. The colorful rubber bands added to the image.
Kat's knees almost reached her chin. Her arms wrapped around her sore stomach. Her eyes began to close as her giggling continued.
Autumn’s gaze was soft and loving as Kat’s face got redder and redder.
Kat cleared her throat. “Sorry…Sorry,” she huffed trying to get her breath back. She rested her arms on the bed frame, as she wiped a pretend tear from her eye.
Autumn was quiet. Content all over her face. The moment felt pure and real.
“What?…what?”
“Nothing.” Autumn moved in and kissed Kat on the cheek.
Kat’s eyebrows raised. “Uh..okay.” She turned her reddened face. A signature small smile followed.
——
They had to play the music low. Kat’s tape player could get loud, but Autumn’s mom was never a fan of their type of music. The mixtape was a shared playlist of all the songs that made Autumn and Kat connect. Autumn’s hip hop followed Kat’s riot girl. The flow was different and unexpected, but good nonetheless. Just like their relationship, unexpected but freeing and wonderful. Kat felt like she could tell Autumn anything.
Song after song the hours ticked away as they found themselves in comfortable silence.
“We should probably start going there,” Autumn whispered. The Pharcyde faded out of their ears.
“In a minute.” Kat reached out and held Autumn’s hand. Autumn accepted the gesture, fully. She made a point to intertwine their fingers. Kats tape player laid in the middle of them.
Kat closed her eyes. She felt at peace with Autumn. They continued to lay in their quiet. Their foreheads were almost touching.
1 minute became 5 and before Autumn knew it she had fallen asleep.
Kat didn’t bother to wake her. She was feeling sleepy herself, but the view in front of her was magical. Kat’s pupils were blown.
She spent a short time just looking at Autumn, memorizing her features. Her eyelashes, her nose, her eyebrows, her lips. Everything on Autumn was so pretty. And jerks like Dean, or whoever couldn’t see that could fuck off and go to hell for all Kat cared.
She squeezed Autumn’s hand and the girl steered awake.
The skater gave her a soft look before turning and looking at her alarm clock.
She sat up quickly. “Shit, Kat!” Their hands fell out of place. Something in Kat’s heart panged. “We’re like 30 minutes late,” Autumn used her hands to launch off the bed. Rushing over to grab her skateboard.
Kat shifted to the edge of the bed, sitting calmly.
“Come on-come on-come on- Swann’s probably like- worried right now.” She quickly combed through her hair with her hands.
“Nah. I think that’s just you.” Kat snickered.
Autumn scoffed looking at the ground. Skateboard now in hand.
“Autumn we’ll be fine. Chill. please.”
Autumn dropped her shoulders and loosened her grip on her board. “You’re right, but let’s go.”
Autumn missed it, but Kat smiled as she rushed her through the door.