Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

When Phineas woke up the next morning, the bed was empty on his one side, and he couldn't figure out if Ferb had actually slept next to him the night before or if he'd dreamed it.

Other Dad was still out cold, snoring like a chainsaw the way he always did, and Phineas would never understand how his normally quiet dad could sleep so loudly. But he was used to sleeping through it; to the point where he was pretty sure he'd have to get a noise machine to sleep at college.

Crawling out of bed as quietly as he could, he left to get ready for the day.

School was quiet that day, and Isabella was busy with a club meeting during lunch so he didn't have to face her just yet, but Ferb kept shooting him looks that he tried his best to ignore. He couldn't ignore it much longer, though, when Ferb stopped him just inside the garage as soon as they got home.

Ferb held him by the arm, looking him in the eyes for a long moment, before asking quietly, "Did I do something to upset you?"

"What?" Phineas asked, taken aback. "No? Ferb, why would you think you did something?"

His brother swallowed hard and said, "You said yesterday you were having a bad day, and then you didn't tell me why, and you spent the night in Dad's room instead of in ours."

Ferb had barely finished talking before Phineas was reaching out and yanking him into a tight hug, wrapping himself around his brother as much as he could, as if he got close enough they could become one being, trying to press his love into his brother's skin.

"I could never be mad at you, Ferb. Not really," he whispered. "And you didn't do anything wrong. I promise I'll tell you what's wrong soon… On Saturday," he promised. He had to break the news to Isabella before anyone else. "I just needed to talk it out with Dad first."

He didn't bring up how Ferb had done the same thing to him; he was past that, had already forgiven Ferb for any slights, and he didn't want to dwell on it.

"Dad's just Dad, you know?" Phineas said. "I needed a sounding board, and he knows a lot more about some stuff than we do."

Ferb nodded against where it was buried in the crook of Phineas's neck, his brother's hands tightening in the back of his shirt and clutching him back just as tightly.

"I miss you when you're not there," Ferb admitted.

"I do too," Phineas said. "But I promise, I'm never going to leave you. As long as you want me there, I will be."

Ferb let out a shuddering breath and whispered, "Always. I want you there always."

"Then I'll always be with you," Phineas promised.

Phineas spent all day dreading that evening, knowing he was going to have to break Isabella's heart. He avoided his friends at lunch, saying he needed to practice an upcoming assignment for his speech class – the only class he didn't share with any of the others – and made it through the day without having to say more than a few words to them.

The day dragged on, but eventually school and robotics club were over for the day, and he got to head home.

He and Ferb had taken separate scooters that morning, since Ferb needed to head to the restaurant to set up the date while Phineas got ready, but he wished he could just have a few minutes of comfort from his brother before he went through with things.

He also wished he'd had the heart to tell Ferb it was no longer necessary, but he supposed he'd call him after things were sorted with Isabella.

Phineas changed and dressed nicely, wanting to treat Isabella and her feelings with respect, getting a compliment from Adyson on his appearance on his way out the door before he walked over to the Garcia-Shapiro house and knocked.

Isabella answered the door, dressed beautifully with a smile on her face, but when he looked a second longer, he could see how brittle and forced it was around the edges, how her eyes were tight. "Hi, Phineas," she said, her voice falsely cheery.

Immediately, he put his thoughts of a break up out of his mind and instead asked, concerned, "Hey, is something wrong?"

She tried to smile brighter but failed, and her face crumpled. "I'm sorry," she choked out.

"Hey, no, it's okay," he comforted, stepping closer and getting her fully back inside with the door shut, so she didn't have to be upset on her front stoop where anyone could see. "What's wrong?"

"I can't do this," Isabella said, starting to tear up. "I just can't."

Phineas sat her down on the couch and joined her, wrapping an arm around her, hoping it helped with whatever was happening. "What do you mean?" he asked softly.

"I- I'm so sorry, Phineas," Isabella said, starting to cry in earnest. "After we kissed, I realized maybe I don't like you like I thought I did. I just- I'd been crushing on you for so long that I thought I still was, and I hadn't noticed that my feelings had faded."

Oh!

Well… that was great! No break-up needed! He was sad she was beating herself up so much about her feelings, but he understood how she felt. But maybe the two of them could move past this okay and everything would be good.

Phineas shrugged. "Yeah, it's okay," he told her with a gentle smile.

"Wait, what?" she asked, her tears immediately stopping in her confusion.

"I, um. I realized I think I just wanted to be better friends with you? Like how my parents are? And not really date you. The internet calls it a 'queerplatonic relationship'." he told her, awkwardly rubbing at the back of his neck.

"Oh!" Isabella said, and slowly her face shifted from deep sadness to a slightly pleased expression. "Yeah, I think that's what I want too," she said, reaching out to squeeze his hand. "It's- it's not that kissing you was bad – it was a nice first kiss – but it didn't feel like I thought it would. And I like holding your hand and whatnot, but I think we could skip the rest of the relationship stuff, like kissing, and I'd still be happy."

"Yeah! Exactly," he said, grinning broadly.

A moment's pause, then, "I was really worried I was going to lose you as a friend," Isabella confessed quietly.

"Never," Phineas promised, reaching out and pulling her into a hug. "You and me are going to be best friends forever. I promise."

Isabella snuggled against his chest. "I guess… I wonder if this is what Candace's future daughter meant when she said I was Aunt Isabella. Like how Uncle Perry seemed when we were kids," she said.

"Well, unless you like Ferb and just haven't told me," Phineas teased.

Isabella froze and let out a soft breath of "Oh."

And Phineas saw all his dreams coming true with that one sound. Ferb would be happy, Isabella would be happy, and he would be the happiest.

"You do?" he asked excitedly.

Isabella pulled away, looking upset, and said, "I'm sorry! I didn't realize!"

"No, no! This is great! C'mon! You're already all dressed up and everything. Let's just touch up your makeup," he said, carefully wiping his fingers under her eyes to clean up her slightly smudged eyeliner from her tears and gently smoothing her hair back into place. As soon as she looked just as pretty as she had when he arrived, he stood and pulled her off the couch. "Let's go!"

"What? Phineas, you're not upset? Where are we going?" she asked as he pulled her along behind him, out the door and across the street to his dad's car that he'd been loaned for the night.

Phineas opened the passenger side for her and guided her in before running around to the driver's side and peeling out of the driveway as soon as he was in.

"Ferb likes you too! See, it's perfect. You and Ferb can date, and I'll always be with you, just like Dad stayed with Mom and Dad, and I never have to lose you two, and we'll all be happy," he said, words coming out in a rush in his excitement.

"Wait, Ferb likes me back?! Phineas!" Isabella squeaked out.

"That's the thing Ferb and I were having problems about! He was upset I asked you out, but he wouldn't just tell me that because he didn't want to hurt my feelings. And so we were fighting about that, and I ended up figuring it out, but see, now it doesn't have to be an issue! Everyone gets what they want, and everyone's happy!" he told her.

"And you're sure he likes me back?" Isabella asked, sounding unsure.

"Oh yeah," he said, a manic grin on his face. "Absolutely."

He drove them speedily through the streets of Danville, pulling up at the valet parking for the restaurant Ferb had selected, and threw the keys at the valet as he helped Isabella out of the car.

Quickly grabbing the offered ticket, he led Isabella to the front door. "Ferb said he was going to have the table ready for us, so he should still be here. He knows the owner; I bet they're chatting in the back."

"What are we doing?" Isabella asked, confused.

"You are going to go on a date with Ferb tonight instead!" Phineas said, excitedly.

"What? No! Phineas, I'm not ready!" she argued and finally started to drag her feet.

Phineas didn't let her flee, though. After telling the host his name, he pulled her along to their table and pulled out her seat, guiding her into it and saying, "You were already ready to go out with me. You'll be fine, Iz. Just take a couple deep breaths and be happy."

Isabella gulped in a breath and nodded. "Fine. But you and I will be having words about this later."

He brushed his hands along her shoulders and said, "That's fine by me. Now, I'm going to go grab Ferb. Stay right here."

Bee-lining for the staff door, Phineas wove in between tables and servers, a man on a mission.

As soon as he threw the door open, half the kitchen staff turned to look at him, but most went back to working quickly. The only person whose eyes stayed on him were Ferb's, who'd been talking to the head chef.

"Hey, bro, I have bit of a situation that could use your help," he said.

Ferb nodded sharply once in his direction before looking back to the chef and tilting his head in farewell. After their goodbyes, he headed straight for Phineas.

"What's the problem?" he asked quietly.

Phineas grabbed him by the hand and pulled him back through the dining room. "It's better if I show you," he said.

He could tell the instant Ferb caught sight of Isabella because his brother's breath hitched slightly and his hand clenched the tiniest bit. Little signs that most other people would've missed, but Phineas wasn't most people. Especially not when it came to Ferb.

Stopping at the table, he pulled out the other chair and said to Ferb, putting on a slight inflection to his voice, like a proper gentleman from one of his movies, "So, I have a very beautiful young lady here who happens to be in desperate need of a date for the night. And after much discussion, she and I came to the conclusion that I wouldn't be the right fit for the job. Who else, though, could I think of, but you, to fill in?"

Ferb made a quiet, confused noise in the back of his throat and looked wide-eyed between Isabella and Phineas.

"Sit down, Ferb," Phineas instructed softly, dropping the voice he'd been doing, but his brother didn't move, still frozen. "Isabella and I talked about it, and she realized she'd be happier dating you than me, and I figured you'd be more than happy to take her out."

Ferb's brow creased ever so slightly. "You knew?"

"You of all people can't keep anything from me for too long," Phineas told him with a lopsided smile. "But it's okay. After all, things are working out. Right?"

"And… you really want to date me?" Ferb asked, finally sitting down across from Isabella.

"Um… yeah," she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, and she ducked her head, her face starting to flush a soft pink. "I think I've had a crush on you for a while, but everything was just really confusing because of Phineas. But… he and I talked about it earlier, and we agreed we're better off as friends."

"I'll leave you two to your date," Phineas said quietly and ducked away, smiling from ear-to-ear.

Outside the restaurant, he fist-pumped and let out a little hoot of a cheer, startling the valet.

"Oops, sorry, man," he said, with an apologetic wave. "Um, actually, could you pull my car around already? I was just dropping her off."

Isabella could get a ride home with Ferb.

Phineas slid down the stair railing, hopped off the end, and walked into the kitchen, Ferb following right behind him. Mom and the Dads were already sitting around the table, drinking coffee and chatting, and Adyson was slumped over her bowl of oatmeal.

"Hi, Mom; hi, Dads; hi, Adyson," he greeted, sitting in his spot and piling food onto his plate from the selection set out, making sure to leave the best looking stuff for Ferb and passing his brother each dish after grabbing some.

"Hi, honey," Mom said. "How was your date last night?"

"Oh, right," Phineas said, nodding coolly, remembering that, duh, Friday was parent date night and none of them had been home. "I didn't go out with Isabella last night."

"What?!" Adyson asked, abruptly sitting upright.

Mom's eyebrows raised. "Oh? Did something happen?"

Everyone else all seemed interested too, waiting to hear what he had to say, so he told them, "Ferb went out with her instead."

Ferb face-palmed next to him, and Mom looked between them in concern, while Other Dad's shoulders shook in silent laughter.

"Um… And you're not upset about that?" she asked him tentatively.

"Nope!" he said, casually grabbing the jam from the center of the table and slathering his toast in it.

"Isabella has some explaining to do," Adyson mumbled grumpily, pulling out her cellphone and rapidly tapping away at it.

"Kid, what kind of zen meditation… thing," Other Other Dad wildly waved his hand, and Other Dad had to duck, "do you have going on that you can be so calm about this?" he asked incredulously.

"I just realized I don't like Isabella like that," he said with a shrug, brushing past the absolute meltdown he'd had on Wednesday at the realization. "And it turns out she actually likes Ferb, and he likes her back, so they went out instead."

Mom just slowly blinked at him and said, "The shop gets busy for one week."

"You know, I'll never understand how teenagers think," Dad said, shaking his head, "but as long as you boys are happy with how things shook out."

Both he and Ferb nodded enthusiastically at that, and Mom and Dad chuckled.

"And I'd thought Vanessa's love life was dramatic," Other Other Dad whispered to Linda.

⌈I'm glad you boys sorted things out,⌋ Other Dad signed, smiling at them.