Chapter Text
Eddie tries to keep up the positive energy during their drive to the mall. It's more than a couple hours out and usually Eddie would be pretty vocally against wasting gas on an establishment seeped in capitalism, particularly one that, on occasion, triggers some of his boyfriend's worst memories. However, as much as Eddie loathes to trust the man, Owens' sessions do seem to be helping Steve. And the doctor suggested that getting to make new, untainted memories in a place similar enough to Starcourt might bring his boy some peace. So, into the fray.
It's only when he's parking that Steve's stream of contented chatter slows to a mumble. As the engine's rumble stops, Eddie looks over and feels his brows pinch. Steve has brought his knees up to his chest. An action that might, to anyone else, make him appear cramped and too big for the space he occupies but to Eddie he only looks small. Small and lost and scared.
"Hey, what's going on, bug?" Eddie soothes, reaching out to run a finger along Steve's cheek then cup his chin.
Steve doesn't respond. He just blinks wide eyes out at the parking lot, then back at Eddie. His hand migrates to Steve's hair, smoothing through the locks and settling into the silence to give the boy a minute. Sometimes his words take a little longer, or don't come at all, and Eddie likes to do what he can to assure Steve that it's more than okay.
He turns to look out in the same direction Steve had and, after a short hum, voices what he thinks might be the issue.
"Lots of people, huh?" He says, and Steve's posture relaxes as he nods, pushing more into Eddie's hand.
"That's alright sweetheart." Eddie assures. "I'll be right there with you, and you can let me know whenever it feels too much. Whatever we're doing we'll turn right back around and back to the van just like that."
Steve takes a minute to let the words swim around his head before he seems to steel himself, sitting up tall and looking at Eddie with determination.
"Atta boy!" Eddie says with a grin, delighting in the pleased smile he gets in return.
Eddie exits the van first, making his way around to Steve's side and unclipping his seatbelt so the boy can jump out. He'd parked as far away from the busy mall entrance as he could so Steve could find his feet a little without the prying eyes of others putting him off. It seems his little pep talk did its job however, and Steve walks happily next to him, maybe a little more bouncy than he would if he were feeling older but that's why they chose to drive out farther, right? No one here knows how Steve usually walks, so no one spares them a glance.
Their first stop is B. Dalton. As much as Eddie wants to herd Stevie into a toy store and buy him anything and everything he wants immediately, he knows that's probably the easiest way to overwhelm the kid and wind up with them swiftly back to the van and on the way home. Instead, they make their way around the bookstore, Eddie pleased to see how quiet it is save for the odd mother looking for a romance novel to sigh over. They take their time, Eddie suggesting some books he used to enjoy reading with Wayne or his Mama growing up, or any Steve pauses at to gaze at the cover. He reads out the blurbs of each, watching to see which ones have his eyes lighting up with interest. Eddie has quite the collection when they make it to the counter: Fantastic Mr Fox, Frog and Toad are Friends, The Lorax, Owl Babies, Where the Wild Things Are, Tales From Moominvalley and Alice in Wonderland. The cashier is nice enough, and doesn't question the sight of Eddie, with his chains and his hair, and Steve, quiet and still so obviously jock despite wearing Eddie's clothes, buying a pile of children's books together. Eddie appreciates it. He knows Steve is still nervous, still waiting for the push-back that isn't coming, and that every smooth interaction will ease him bit by bit.
Eddie makes sure to talk to Steve as they walk around looking for their next store. He'll occasionally get some one word responses or small tugs to his jacket so Steve can point something out. He's so goddamn proud of this beautiful boy. There are so many reasons for this day to be hard for him yet here he stands, smiling at Eddie and bouncing on his toes before they make their way into another storefront to buy some snacks perfect to keep in Eddie's room for when the little one gets hungry. He wishes he could sing Steve's praises to anyone who'd listen. His brave, motherfucking superstar.
Steve has clearly gained some confidence between the last store and this one, flitting about between the aisles pleading with Eddie to get this snack and that (as if he'd say no), giggling away at the sight of candy cigarettes and declaring he's going to get them and be "just like" his Teddie. He's internally grateful Wayne isn't around to harp on about him being a bad influence as if he was any better when Eddie was a kid, before it registers Wayne would say nothing of the sort because he hasn't been privy to regressed Steve. Eddie wouldn't dream of bringing it up, this is something so private for the boy and he has a right to chose who does and doesn't get to know about it, but he allows himself the brief thought that little Steve would make Wayne smile.
Snacks acquired, it's onto the next item on their metaphorical list. The only 'must' Eddie had insisted on. A sippy cup.
Little Steve doesn't have the best coordination, or control of his hands, which has lead to one too many juice stains on clothes, carpets, bedsheets. Eddie wouldn't care all that much, the apartment wasn't exactly a show home on the best of days, but it made Steve upset when he made a mess, despite Eddie's reassurances. Plus Eddie has a feeling a sippy cup might be soothing for the boy with how he can usually be found with his fingers in his mouth, or gnawing on pencils, his shirt collar, and once or twice Eddie's hair.
They end up down the baby aisle of a random store, Stevie's eyes wide as he takes everything in. They're blessed with quiet once again, Eddie thanking every god he doesn't believe in that Steve doesn't have to play at feeling big to avoid unwelcome stares.
"Look at all the cute cups sunshine!" Eddie encourages, volume low but voice cheerful in the hopes Steve doesn't hold back.
He shuffles closer to Eddie, head still turned to the shelves trying to take everything in. He grabs the sleeve of Eddie's jacket, as close to his hand as he'll chance in public, and brings him over to the cups. Eddie smiles, heart warm at the thought that Steve is holding him like a comfort blanket. His Teddie bear indeed.
One hand still firmly gripping the jacket, Steve reaches out with his other to trace across the designs on each bottle. Trucks, animals, smiley faces, he seemed happy enough with them all. There's a clear winner, however, when he reaches the last cup on the shelf. A simple white base, but the design has Steve's eyes crinkling up as he grins. It's snoopy, reading a book, letters of the alphabet behind him providing a perch for woodstock. He reaches out for it reverently, tugging on Eddie's sleeve as if he hasn't been here this whole time and needs to see this.
"That one's perfect, little guy." He says, taking it gently as Steve holds it out. "You see anything else you'd like? A blanket maybe?"
He'd taken stock of the blankets behind them while Steve was considering his cup options but he wasn't sure Steve had noticed. A guess that is proven true when the boy gasps after spotting them.
Eddie chuckles, leading Steve this time, who's still holding his sleeve. They both set about running their fingers across the fabrics, looking for the softest one. It's a rich blue, dark but not quite navy, and decorated with yellow stars. Eddie asks if Steve would mind holding onto it for him-
"It's a little heavy for me, honey!"
and Steve clutches the folded fabric to his chest, standing tall so Eddie can see how strong he is.
They're almost at the counter when Eddie spots something else, and quickly grabs a packet when Steve's head is turned. He pays for the items, packing them into a bag while Steve concentrates on holding the bag from the book store that they'd fit their snacks into at Eddie's request. They swap once everything is settled, so Steve can dip his hand into the bag and brush against the soft fabric of the blanket if he starts feeling overwhelmed. A distinct possibility considering their last stop of the day.
KB Toys.
Packed full of loud toddlers and haggard family members, a sight that has Steve immediately tensing up and losing a little of the sweet bouncing sway to his walk that indicates regression.
"We don't have to, Stevie." Eddie says, nudging the boy gently and wishing he could scoop him into his arms.
But Steve just frowns and takes a few determined steps forward, sights set on the colourful shelves ahead.
They must spend an age looking down every isle. His boy doesn't actually want much, just likes to look and feel and question when he's unsure of how a toy works or what it's supposed to be. The sudden return of his voice is a good sign though, and Eddie makes sure to tell him how proud he is, how brave he's being, when they find a quiet spot. Of course that's where Steve finally spies something he'd like.
A puzzle box, the picture a field of colourful flowers, butterflies and bees. Eddie has to fight back tears as Steve clutches the box and turns to ask him for it.
"Can we do this together, Teddie?" He asks, honey-sweet.
"Of course we can baby." He responds, feeling as though he might melt into the floor if Steve blinks those droopy hazel eyes at him one more time.
Steve does a happy bounce and they circle back through the store to pay for it.
Eddie is maybe replaying happy little Steve moments through his brain like a montage and trying not to scream at how cute he's been and how lucky Eddie is to be trusted with such softness, so he grants himself forgiveness for the fact it takes him a few steps to notice the boy in question has stopped following beside him after a short while.
"What did you find, little guy?" He asks after scrambling back to him.
"Garfield!" Steve says with awe, and a little stumble on the 'r'. "Like Wayme's mug."
High on a shelf is a large Garfield plush, round and soft and Eddie is stretching up to reach it immediately. Steve associating the cat with his uncle Wayne (Wayme) might be the final straw. His heart is going to give out at this rate. The toy is about the size of his torso, so there'll be no shoving him in a bag, but this is their last stop and he doubts many people will care enough to stare on their way to the van.
Steve is too pleased to notice anyone looking anyway, clutching the plush to his chest happily as Eddie carries the bags. They're in their seats quick enough, bags in the back and Garf on Steve's lap, the boy's face nuzzling the plush fur. Eddie turns on the radio, foregoing his usual music for something a little more 'gentle pop'. The things he'll do for Steve.
His little soldier lasts a whole hour before he's out cold in his seat, Garfield apparently making for an excellent pillow, but Eddie can't seem to mind the quiet. He knows today has been a big step for Steve, so if rest is what he needs, rest he'll get.
***
Steve woke up feeling bigger again, and they'd talked sleepily for the last leg of the drive. Wayne was home when they returned, and Eddie had run a hand down Steve's back as he watched the gears turn in his head at the sight of him, but his uncle hadn't asked what they'd bought. He'd huffed a laugh at the giant Garfield, but had said something about Eddie never changing and Steve finally took a deep breath and smiled like the world was no longer ending. They'd work on it.
Eddie had helped his uncle serve up beef stew and cornbread for their dinner while Steve took their bags to Eddie's room, giving the boy a chance to settle himself, and they enjoyed the warm meal at the table.
Dishes clean, and company appreciated, Eddie and Steve are now tucked away getting ready for bed. It's not surprising Steve is slipping again. He so often does when he's tired and Eddie helps him into some comfortable pyjamas, taking a moment once he's dressed to hold him close and sway them gently where they stand. A non-verbal "It's okay. Let go. I've got you."
Steve flops down on his side of the bed, reaching out with a grabby hand for his new friend, and unearthing Bilbo from the sheets with another. Eddie passes over the plush, pulling out a few other items from their shop as well while Steve gets comfy.
Sitting beside Steve, he drapes the star blanket around them both and places Alice in Wonderland in front of them.
"Story time, sweetpea." He coos, Steve humming in agreement and resting his head on Eddie's shoulder. "But first…"
He pulls out the last minute purchase he'd made when Steve had chosen his cup. A packet full of stickers. Stars, just like the blanket and all colours of the rainbow. Stevie gasps.
"For me?" He asks, staring up at Eddie with wide eyes.
"For you, angel. Whenever you're good." He confirms. 'So, always.' he thinks.
Steve beams.
"Go ahead and choose one for today, bug."
Eddie holds a sheet of stickers out to Steve and watches as he deliberates, looking closely at all the different colours.
"Hmmm… pink." He says, after a moment.
"Perfect choice!" Eddie nods. "Where shall we stick it, my liege?"
That earns him a giggle, and he scrunches his nose playfully at the boy. Then, Steve turns his head to look carefully around the room.
"We put it there?" He asks, shyly, pointing at the body length mirror Eddie has propped against a wall in his room.
"What a great idea, clever boy!" Eddie says, hopping up to stick a pink star to the mirror's wooden frame. "Now every time you see yourself there you can see just how good and brave you've been."
Steve looks pleased with himself as Eddie climbs back onto the bed, and snuggles into the man as soon as he's back under the blanket.
They don't get far into the story before Steve drifts off again, and Eddie crosses his fingers it'll be a peaceful night for them. His boy deserves all the peace he can get.
He carefully extracts himself from the cocoon they've created. lowering Steve till his head rests on a pillow and covering him properly in his blanket. He creeps into the hallway, listening for uncle Wayne's snores, then swiftly picking up the phone. The number had already been given to him before he and Steve became close. Dr Owen's made a point to stress they could all call him for any reason, any time. Eddie thinks whatever guilt he feels about his involvement with the Upside Down is justified, and doesn't feel at all bad for calling him late at night.
He's had an idea. For Steve. And the doctor is the only person he can think of to ask.
"Hey Doc, it's Eddie. You have weird contacts right? I'm calling about a pacifier."