Chapter Text
Surprise, surprise, Amy goes back to ignoring him after he ruins her relationship with the Mormon cowboy (or whatever the fuck Buddy was). It’s pathetic and juvenile and high-school, but whatever, it’s not like Dan wasn’t expecting it. He’s not worried, he can talk her round, he’s done it before.
Besides, she does the interview he set up at CBS, so she can’t be really angry at him. It’s so good it almost gives Dan a hard-on when he watches it.
They do the interview in Amy’s apartment, and she’s wearing that dark pink dress he’s always liked. Sunlight shines on her hair as she comes out with some syrupy nonsense about her early days in Washington, and how the handling of her allegations against Ward had diminished her faith in the system, but brave women like Selina had shown her it could be fixed if they worked together.
(It helps that, for almost the first time Dan can remember, the producer isn’t giving her the ‘fuck-you’ edit).
Amy talks about how it had been difficult to have something so personal, something she’d thought far in her past, dug up and pawed over by the press. “There’s so much pressure,” she says, looking both pretty and earnest, “on a woman in politics, to be perfect, to blaze a trail. Even now, I’m often the only woman in the room, and I was sure that, if I let out even a hint of weakness, it would destroy me. So reading that book… it was like a nightmare had come true. But I realised that my thinking that, my letting my career be destroyed over it, would just send a message to every girl who’s ever struggled with the same problems that there’s no place for her in politics. And we can’t allow that to be true.”
The interviewer smiles, all touched and moved by Amy’s strength – woman struggling against the patriarchy is such a hot narrative right now. “You’ve been very brave, Amy – I know it must be very difficult to talk about these things.” Amy nods (and probably only Dan can tell that it’s making her want to claw her skin off).
“I just have one question. How did you feel when you saw that video?” (And here they cut to an extract of Dan’s rant – ending on the “hot as all hell” part.)
Amy tries, rather gracefully, to duck the question. “I think, more than anything, I was surprised – in politics you get used to the idea that you’re on your own, so… to have someone up and defend me like that… after that week, it was… it was startling. In a good way.”
The interviewer leans forward, conspiratorially (just us girls). “And, about Dan Egan…”
“We’re old friends,” Amy says, clearly trying not to squirm.
“Just friends?” the interviewer says. “We’ve all become very fond of Dan here at CBS.” (Which, horseshit. The producers still haven’t forgiven him for swearing during a live broadcast). “And it’s not like him to get emotional on air. It would be nice to think he had someone like –”
Amy tries to laugh (badly), and says, “I’ll tell you what I told my mother, because she had the same question. I’m sorry if anyone’s disappointed, but I’m afraid… I’m afraid Dan only said what he said because… that’s just the kind of person he is.”
To anyone who’s watching, it sounds like she’s saying he’s just such a good man. (And his rant has done wonders for his reputation, which is a nice plus). But Dan… Dan’s fairly certain that’s not what she means – though what she does intend he can’t quite work out. He’s not sure she knows.
He gets a text from Ben a few minutes later.
“Not bad fuckweasel. Selina’s inviting you to the house next weekend. Show up. A will be there.”
He can’t quite make out the connection, but he goes – two days seclusion with Amy is not an opportunity to be missed.
Although, when he arrives, he realises seclusion may not have been the word. It’s more like some Agatha Christie house party – though, if anyone’s going to wind up murdered, his money’s on Kent.
(He arrives at the same time as Amy, who flat-out refuses to let him help her with her bag, and blushes like a strawberry when Gary asks why Buddy couldn’t come. She looks anywhere but at Dan and mutters, “We broke up.”
Gary is clearly annoying the shit out of her when he says, “I am so sorry. But you know, someday Amy, someone is going to look right into your good, kind heart, and –”
“Shut the fuck up Gary,” Amy barks, and Dan laughs. He’s only surprised it took her so long. She ignores him, and drags her bag off to the tower room that had been assigned to her and Buddy – to give them some privacy.)
It’s a strange event. Most of the old crowd are there (even Richard, on whom Selina seems to have fucking…imprinted, or something), plus a pair of nitwits from the Maryland DNC, who follow Amy around like a pair of rabbits, wanting to talk about her media presence and her book and every other damn thing.
There are drinks on the veranda (and he can’t talk to Amy), and a barbecue dinner (and he can’t talk to Amy), and Dan genuinely starts to wonder why he even bothered to come (and why he’s wearing a suit in the middle of August).
He tries not to look as though he’s eavesdropping on all her conversations (and fails) (miserably), but it’s pure luck that he overhears the one conversation that’s actually relevant. He’d gone into the kitchen to get a beer, realised he needed a glass, and stepped into the pantry (and Selina’s house actually had a pantry, it was ridiculous). He’s just taking it out of the cupboard, when he hears Selina say, “So why did you and…”
“Buddy.”
“Break up. Was it the eating disorder, the headlines?”
“Not exactly,” Amy said, “Though he was weird about it.” Selina must have reacted somehow, because after a moment she continued. “He kept…wanting me to like weep all over his shoulder, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. It wasn’t to make me feel better, it was for him. He didn’t have any idea what to do with me… and I think my deep dark flaw freaked him out.”
“Well, Ame, if he was even vaguely worth keeping around, he wouldn’t have given a fuck. But what was it?”
“Ma’am, I’d really rather not –”
“I need to know that you’re not going to run back to Nevada in three weeks because you’ve reconciled.”
“That’s not going to happen. He…he thinks I cheated on him.”
“Did you?”
“No.” There’s a pause, and then Amy says, sounding ashamed. “Maybe. I opened a door I shouldn’t have, put it that way, and…the person took advantage, because of course he did – of fucking course he did – and –”
“The person?” Selina says, and Dan knows that tone… it sounds like she knows (or at least suspects) (but she couldn’t?) (could she?). “Amy, tell me you at least got a good dicking out of it.”
“Sorry to disappoint ma’am.”
“Let me tell you what I told Catherine – back when she wasn’t dating insufferable vegans. Men are awful. Without exception. And the only trick is…to find one who’s the right kind of awful. Because if you still want his dick even when he’s at his worst… he’s probably the one. But that doesn’t mean he’s not awful.”
“Thank you ma’am.”
“Well, at least you’re not fucking off to Carson City. Now, you and I need to go have some serious conversation with the Maryland idiots in the study, so put your work face on.”
And they leave. When Dan gets outside the party seems to have broken up, and he drinks his beer, looking up at the stars and smiling to himself. Phase one is over.
Which means Phase two needs to start almost immediately, so when he’s finished his drink, he runs up the stairs, grabs his supplies, and goes to wait in Amy’s room.
Unsurprisingly, it’s much nicer than his and, usefully, there’s a table and two stairs. He sets up the bottle of whisky and two glasses, and waits. And waits.
He’s read every possible article on twitter, emailed his agent and his producer, and played twenty-something games of Sudoku before Amy arrives.
She doesn’t see him at first. She kicks her shoes off the moment she gets in the room, and leans her head back against the door, and she’s smiling so broadly that Dan almost starts smiling himself too, just in reaction. She does a little…foot-stampy, dance thing, and claps her hands, and when she looks up and finally sees him, she jumps. “What are you doing in here?”
Dan takes a sip of his drink. “Guess.”
“If you’ve chosen me as the first victim in your serial murder spree… I can’t say I’m surprised.”
“Have a drink,” Dan says, and pours one out for her. She takes it, but he can tell she’s wary. When she lifts it to her mouth, he does the same, and (unsurprisingly) it becomes a test of who’s willing to stop drinking first. (He loses, but only because there was less in his glass to start with).
Amy stares at him. “You do realise this isn’t charming, or whatever it’s meant to be?”
“What do you think it’s meant to be?”
“Creepy.”
“Damn,” Dan says, and he tops up both their glasses, not taking his eyes off her. When she takes another sip, he sits back in his chair and starts rolling up his sleeves. Amy’s eyes drop to his forearms and he smirks and says, “Getting you hot and bothered? Worried I’m going to turn you into my own personal finger puppet?”
It takes her a moment to fully grasp what he means, at which point she frowns (in what she probably wants him to think is disgust). He raises an eyebrow at her, and she rolls her eyes and knocks back her drink.
She comes closer to him – right by his chair – and says, “Dan, I don’t know what it is you think I can do for you… but this is not the way to get me to do it.”
Dan stands – surprising her slightly, and she takes a step back. “You do know,” he says, following her. “You know exactly what I want.”
Amy shakes her head, still retreating (and he’s still following). “For a professional communicator,” she said, “You really do not excel at making things clear.”
The back of her knees hit the bed, and Dan raises an eyebrow at her. “I don’t know,” he said. “I think I’m getting my point across.”
Amy pushes past him, and Dan sits down on the bed, eyes tracking her movements. She’s pacing up and down the room, glancing at him as she goes.
“I don’t understand you at all,” she says. “I can’t get you a job, I can’t get you access to power any more, I can’t do anything for you… and you usually don’t work this hard for…”
“Exactly,” he says. (How is she not getting this?) (It should be obvious).
“So, what, you just can’t help yourself?”
“Something like that.”
Amy looks dubious – and he supposes he can’t blame her. (He surprised himself after all). He meets her gaze, steady, and finally, she looks away.
“And if,” she says, like she’s voicing a brand new thought. “If I were to give you what you want… will you stop treating my life like your own personal laboratory?”
“Of course,” he says, grinning. “It’s not like I enjoy this, you know.”
“Yes. Yes, it is.”
“Amy, I promise, if I have you… I will rein it all in.” And he surprises himself again because… he means it. Having her close (even annoyed with him) is better than… well, infinitely better than knowing she was out there close to someone else.
“Okay,” she says, and then she looks at him for a long moment, as though reassuring herself that he’s real. Dan holds his hand out, and she takes it, tentatively, and when she meets his eyes again she’s… she’s shy that’s what she is. (It reminds him of that night in Nevada, if anything).
So Dan pulls her in, slowly, giving her time to pull back if she wants to. But when she’s pressed up against his chest, she doesn’t look like she does. He starts to run his hands up and down her sides, but Amy’s the one who kisses him.
Her hands cup his face, and he can feel her hair brushing against his cheeks. It’s a smooth, firm kiss, and when he forces her lips open with his own, he feels her smile, ever so slightly, before his tongue brushes against hers.
When she responds, Dan groans (and Amy’s breath shudders).
(Every time he’d fought with her, he could have been doing this).
He would have expected – insofar as he’d ever thought about it – that when he and Amy finally gave in and fucked, it would have been rushed and aggressive… but it’s not. It’s the longest he’s just kissed a woman since…well, since he was allowed to do anything else.
Dan slides his hand up the back of her neck and deepens the angle of the kiss, his tongue pressing into hers more urgently (they both struggle to give up dominance). Amy makes a low, pleased sound, and she presses herself even closer to him, so that all he can feel is the softness of her breasts and hips.
They only break the kiss when Dan succeeds in removing her underwear - pushing it silkily down her legs, and letting his hands run back up the smooth skin of her thighs. Amy looks at him, biting her lip (he wishes she’d bite his), and he says, “Did you think I was joking?”
“Yes,” she says as he touches her, and she closes her eyes. He kisses her neck and strokes her gently, waiting to hear the little sounds that will tell him he’s found the right spot. When she lets out a low hiss, he knows he’s got it, and he lavishes attention on it, as though he has all the time in the world.
She says his name, all shaky and full of breath, but he doesn’t stop. Amy’s starting to lean harder against him now, her hands pressed into his shoulders, actually using him to support her, and she sighs and says, “Can we…Dan, can we … I can’t stand.”
Dan doesn’t need to be told twice, and he pulls her on to the bed with him, twisting so he’s settled (so comfortably) between her legs. It’s all he can do not to rut against her. “Better?” he says, pushing his hips into hers.
Amy pulls his head down to hers, and kisses him, again, and as she does so, her hands travel sneakily down towards his belt. Before Dan even knows what she’s doing, she’s pushing his pants down (with hands, and then feet), and he’s pressed fully against her, her skirt all rucked up around her hips.
(He did remember to bring condoms, and there is the usual awkward moment when he has to retrieve one, and in so doing he accidentally traps Amy’s hair under his arm, and his hands are more clumsy than they should be when he goes to unwrap it, and not a damn thing about it is sexy, but when she laughs, she laughs prettily, so there’s that).
But when he slides into her, they both gasp, and she feels so good – so firm and warm and smooth and wet – and he wants to bury his face in her hair and just push…
But Dan has actually done this more than once before, even if he doesn’t feel like it right now, and – while there were times when he didn’t care, this isn’t one of them. Amy is staring up at him with this look on her face… slightly distant, like she’s studying him, and he knows that it’s not doing it for her like it is for him.
So he tries one angle – and then another – and then another… and when he finds one that has her gasping, clawing his shirt into her fists and sliding her eyes shut, he kisses her, very gently, and says, “Yeah?”
Amy nods – like finding a word would take too much energy – and then Dan starts to move. She’s braced on the bed, and her hands run along his arms and down his back, and it’s too much, he can’t go slow, he can’t…
He’s chasing his own pleasure, forcing Amy’s hips ever wider, and pushing himself in further and further and she is the best feeling he’s ever had and…
He’s so fucking relieved when he feels her come (and hears her too, all those involuntary, desperate sounds she makes only driving him onwards), because then he can, and it’s not far off, not now, and then light flashes behind Dan’s eyes…
When he comes to, he finds he’s lying completely on her, his arms having given out, and his face is buried in the skin of her neck, and she smells so good…
Amy pushes at him, pushes at his chest. “Dan,” she says. “Dan.”
“Sorry,” he says, and he starts to lift himself up (and it feels like he weighs twice as much as usual), but she pushes harder. “Dan, I can’t breathe!” she says, something slightly hysterical in her voice, and Dan rolls off her (it’s less than graceful).
He wants nothing more than to lie on the bed and just exhale for a while (and maybe stroke Amy’s skin) (though he'd have to get more of her clothes off first) (he'd been in too much of a hurry). He more hears than sees her get off the bed – she’s padding around the room, and then she pours herself a drink and knocks it back – and it’s only when she doesn’t return to him, that Dan looks up.
She’s sitting at the table, looking everywhere but at him. She’s hiding, almost, behind the thick curtain of her hair, and… and this is weird. This is not the joyful Amy he’d expected to have, and Dan cocks his head to look at her. (His breathing has almost returned to normal, which helps).
Amy won’t look at him, and he waits a minute or two (to regain his voice) before asking, “Everything all right?”
“Fine,” she says, and then adds, in a small voice, “Aren’t you going to go?”
“Do you want me to?” Dan asks and… and he’s surprised, he can’t help it.
She still won’t look at him. “Would it matter?” she says, and then takes another drink.
“Well I’d rather not have to walk down the corridor with my flaccid dick hanging out,” Dan says, “So yeah, it matters.”
She’s still hiding behind her hair, and it’s getting weird, so Dan forces himself to sit up. (He has to remove the condom first – never a greatly dignified moment – so he’s almost grateful she’s not looking at him).
He crouches beside her chair, and Amy actually turns away from him. “You got what you wanted,” she said, “So I think you should just…”
Dan takes her chin in his hand, and turns her head so he can see her face. “What is the…” his voice trails off because Amy… Amy is crying.
(He has seen Amy so hopped up on victory and caffeine she’s been bouncing off walls. He’s seen her so hungry and exhausted she can barely speak. He’s seen her stressed out and (he suspects) pre-menstrual, cursing the world in general and him in particular. He has never seen her cry (from anything but fury) before).
“Okay, drama queen,” he says, “why are you –”
“Can’t you just… just once, be kind.”
“Nope. Sorry.”
Amy swipes a hand across her face, brutally, like she’s angry at herself, but she can’t stop the tears from falling. He winces looking at it. “You just – ” she says, and Dan cuts her off, pulling her to him and letting her bury her face in his neck. She’s shaking all over.
Which is not how he envisaged spending his evening, but he’s clearly not going to get anything useful out of her until she’s calmed the fuck down… so he strokes her back, and kisses her hair, and slowly, so slowly, he feels her trembling cease.
When he hasn’t felt a tear on his skin in a while, he says, “You want to tell me what this is about?”
“Do I want to?” Amy says, and she sounds…she sounds past exhausted. “I can’t work out… what do you want Dan?”
“I thought that was obvious,” he says.
He’s not sure why this is what drives Amy over the edge, but it does. “Obvious? Obvious? As long as I have known you, you have only been interested in fighting and fucking power. You don’t even like people – you don’t like anyone – and I can’t… I can’t understand… this isn’t helping you. I can’t help you. You’ve won, okay, you won. But at least when you were destroying everyone in your path before, it was because you wanted something from them! There’s nothing you want that I have, so why do you keep toying with me?”
“Well, think about it, Amy,” he says. “You should be able to figure it out.”
“No. No, I can’t, okay, I can’t, you win, nothing you are doing makes even the slightest bit of sense to me. Buddy was kind to me, and you just… you destroyed it.”
“Oh, I think there was a pair of us in that.”
“I could understand it if you… if you wanted…do you want to be my fucking boyfriend, or something, is that it?” (He knew she’d get there eventually – though it took longer than he expected).
“Yes,” Dan says. (And he is going to remember that look on Amy’s face for a long time, because it is a thing of beauty and a joy forever).
“What?”
“Yes I want to be your fucking boyfriend. Especially the first part.”
“Since when?”
He doesn’t have an answer for that, and he turns to her old stalwart. “Does it matter?”
“Yes! Yes, it matters, it… why would you want that?”
He’s still hunkered next to her, and he puts his hand on one of her knees and starts inching it upwards. (He's got a better chance of convincing her if he's touching her). “Besides the obvious?”
“Please,” Amy scoffs. “As you have made very clear, on numerous occasions, you can get the obvious anywhere you want it. Not good enough, Dan.”
“I didn’t mean sex,” he said. (Which was true). “I can’t get you anywhere.”
“You do realise… I know you, Dan. You’ve never cared about anyone but yourself - why on earth should I believe that’s changed?”
“Because nothing else makes sense. You said it yourself. And you know how I feel about you.”
“I know you’d rather sleep with my sister than –”
Amy stopped, looking as though she felt she had made an error.
“Rather?” Dan said, “I didn’t know it was a case of rather. If I’d known you were an option, I’d –”
“You’d have what? Chosen me over an opportunity to advance your – ”
“Yes,” he said. (Because it was true).
Amy looked almost frightened. “Dan, this isn’t funny.”
“It’s not meant to be.”
“It’s not even a little bit funny.”
“I don’t know,” he said, “You can’t see your face.”
Amy stood then, pushing his arms off her, and walked away from him. “So you want me to believe that you – that the reason you’ve been acting like the creepiest… is all because of your feelings for me?” It was clear from her tone how ludicrous she thought the suggestion was.
“No, I act like that because I’m a shit. You know that. My feelings for you are just…” Dan paused for thought. “Look, it surprised me too.”
“And if,” Amy said, and she was watching him very carefully, “if I told you that it was my fault you had a breakdown in London, it was my fault the Ray Whelan story got out, that I torpedoed your career on purpose, what would you say then?”
She clearly thought she was admitting to something terrible, and Dan smiled. “I’d say it’s a fucking relief to know it wasn’t Jonah. Jesus, Amy, the shame of that, you can’t imagine.”
“You’re not angry?”
“No.”
(What he didn’t say was that, given he’d 1) supposedly broken her heart back in the day, 2) taunted her about it, 3) slept with her sister, 4) taunted her about it, 5) broken up her relationship with Buddy, and 6) taunted her about it, he kind of thought they were even).
“Why aren’t you angry? When you… I wanted to hurt you when you –”
“It’s different,” he says. (This is all a test. Amy still doesn’t believe him. If he really wanted her – if he really cared about her – what she’d done wouldn’t matter. She would know, of course - she still wanted him).
“No, it’s not different –”
“Amy. If it’ll help – I forgive you.”
“Fuck you, Dan.”
“That’s already taken care of, but if you want to go for round two, I've no objections.”
Her face did that thing where she clearly wanted to be annoyed with him, but was laughing all the same. “Now,” he said, “Can we go back to bed? Because I was really hoping to at least get your top off tonight.”
“You really overestimate how charming you are.”
“With other people maybe. Not with you.”
Amy looked at her hands (and man, Dan could not wait for the day when she was no longer this nervous around him, because the Amy he knew was a goddamn ballbuster and all the hotter for it).
“This isn’t…” she said, and there was something calculating in her tone that didn’t bode well. “This isn’t because of the selection committee, is it?”
“What?”
“I mean, you’re not doing this because a powerful girlfriend will look good, are you?”
“Amy, you’re not powerful. We just spent what felt like hours talking about it.”
“But I might be.”
“Well… tell me.”
She smiled then. “The representative for the eighth Maryland district has pancreatic cancer and it’s terminal and…”
“They want you to run,” Dan said. “I can see it. Local girl – went all the way to the White House, battling the patriarchy with one hand and Selina’s incompetence with the other. And a solid 10, too, which… we all know that helps.”
“Stop talking about me like one of your narrative angles.”
“What part is wrong?” She shifts, and he adds. “You know you’re going to have to…distance yourself from Selina, if it’s going to work. She’s more toxic than Jonah right now.”
“I can’t –”
“Yes, you can.” And he grins then, because he’s worked it out. “That’s why I’m here – that’s why Ben insisted. They want me to run your campaign.”
“No,” Amy said, clearly horrified.
“Please, I’m the obvious choice. You need a campaign manager you can’t instantly steamroll, and I’d be amazed if there are even three of those alive.”
Amy looks dubious. “You really expect me to believe you didn’t know about this.”
“I don’t care – besides, you have to date me now.”
“What – no.”
“Think of the romance angle, Amy, people eat that stuff up. Particularly when it happens to be true, which in this case it actually is. People will love it when your hot TV star boyfriend talks about how wonderful you are. Plus, I’m better on TV than you.”
“Couldn't you just say, ‘Amy, I like you, I care about you, I want to spend time with you –”
“If I told you I loved you, you wouldn’t believe me. So why waste the breath?”
Amy looked winded, but rallied, “Remember what I said about things not being funny?”
“Wasn’t meant to be.”
And then Dan kissed her. And that was it.
(But he did get her top off).
(And if Amy woke up the next morning with a headache, it was her own damn fault for drinking three straight shots of whisky, and Dan didn’t enjoy her bitching at him one bit).
(Though he probably did deserve it when she hit him for asking if the night before counted as “a good dicking.”)
(Which did inspire him to go down on her before breakfast, and the sounds she made were so much pleasanter that he decided it had been worth it).
He runs her campaign.
In the end, they both win.