Chapter Text
He could finally sleep peacefully.
When Ivan finally met the person to whom his heart had always belonged, his soul found peace. He would lie in bed, think about Till for a while, and then dream without waking up in the middle of night, often beautiful dreams that, however, couldn't compare to reality.
After all, it was in reality, not in dreams, that he had Till.
Till, who had always dreamed of him.
Ivan felt very giddy when he found out about it. That he had always been in someone's head, just as he had always had someone in his heart.
When he first saw Till, he knew, simply knew, that it was him he had been waiting for his whole life.
His soul recognized him right away.
He took immense pleasure in teasing him, especially since Till had a charming way of getting irritated very quickly.
Ivan had an impression that he knew and understood Till like no one else, but at the same time, certain aspects remained a mystery to him.
He was grateful to the universe and to Till for allowing him to meet and understand him.
Ivan felt butterflies in his stomach at the thought that Till had been constantly dreaming of him for years, even though he had never seen him, that he hadn't known anyone like him actually existed.
As if their souls were truly connected by something. As if Ivan had somehow marked Till's soul so they could meet again.
He thought that his heart beat louder than ever before. As if it finally had a reason to live.
And even then, he knew that even if the world were to crumble, Ivan would remain by Till's side until the end.
And Till had also made it clear that he would follow him anywhere. When Till confessed in one of their numerous phone calls that ever since they met, he'd stopped dreaming about him, Ivan received yet another confirmation that he and Till belonged together. That Ivan was finally where he was supposed to be.
By Till's side.
Till, the love of his life, didn't want to call them soulmates.
However, he didn't deny it when Ivan said their souls were somehow connected.
And Ivan, truly happy, fully accepted it.
"Honestly, I kind of miss those dreams." Till had once confessed to him during a video call.
"Am I not enough for you?" He asked in a sulky voice.
After a moment of silence on the line, Till burst out laughing.
"Are you jealous of yourself? Weirdo." Till asked, amused. "I mean, I could dream about you when you're not around." He added with a slight blush. "Once upon a time, the Ivan in my dream comforted me, after all."
The real Ivan felt a pang in his heart at those words. He wanted to be by Till's side constantly, to support him in difficult times, to irritate him until Till forgot his other worries, to simply be there for him.
But they couldn't afford that yet. They both still lived in different cities. They had considered moving to Seoul, even before they met. Ivan and his friends started talking about it seriously when the boy's career started to take off. Mizi, on the other hand, had always wanted to live in the capital. She convinced Till to move there together, where they would both have more opportunities.
Now, these loose plans seemed more and more realistic, especially since Mizi wanted to move in with Sua as soon as possible, and Hyuka and Luka had been eyeing apartments in Seoul for some time.
However, now both Ivan and Till were busy and had to wait until their work hours eased up to fully focus on the move.
Therefore, they grabbed every opportunity to meet.
And since Ivan was currently on his own tour, he often invited Till and Mizi to his concerts.
After all, Ivan had to admit at some point that he was the increasingly popular musician Navi. Ivan loved Till's face and his intense expressions, but perhaps one of his favorites was when, after walking him and Mizi to the station, he confessed what his I work in the music industry really meant.
"Hey, have you ever heard of this musician called Navi?" They both nodded, Till hesitantly and Mizi enthusiastically. "I’m Navi. If you'd like to come to any of the concerts on the upcoming tour, let me know and I'll send you tickets."
Till's jaw literally dropped, making him look incredibly cute. The sight so captivated Ivan that he almost didn't hear Mizi, who grabbed Sua's hand and started screaming:
"WHAT?! Oh my God! I can't believe it!!!" Ivan was impressed that Sua didn't pull away, because if Ivan had been standing right next to her, he would have gone deaf. "We're huge fans of yours!" She added. "Oh my God, it all really makes sense now!" Although Ivan was certainly not Sua's favorite subject, she seemed captivated as Mizi was telling the story of how Till discovered his music and later introduced her to his songs. (Ivan had to comment on it later, earning a cool look from his cousin in return.)
"So you're a fan of mine, Till?" He smiled cheekily. "Probably even a psycho fan, since you managed to discover my true identity."
At these words, Till, with a flushed face, punched Ivan in the arm and began calling him an idiot, and Ivan could do nothing but laugh out loud.
He loved him. They might not have known each other officially for long, but his heart must have always loved him.
"Till!" The girl tugged on his arm, stopping him from another punch. Ivan couldn't help but snort at the sight of his cousin's grimace at the gesture. "Of course we’ll go to Ivan’s concert! I mean, Navi’s concert! We’re the only ones who know his identity." She practically vibrated with excitement. "We’ll go to every concert!" Till somehow tore his face away from Ivan (it was a real shame, Ivan loved the way Till looked at him…)."You have to follow and support your boyfriend."
Till stood stiffly. His face somehow turned even redder.
Cute , Ivan thought. So cute. I want to devour him whole.
"He’s not my boyfriend!" He choked out, irritated.
Practically his entire life, Ivan had felt a longing in his heart, as if something was missing. That changed when he finally found the person to whom his heart belonged.
And in that moment, for the first time since meeting Till, he felt his heart breaking.
In fact, they hadn't known each other very long, and they'd never even discussed their relationship. They'd talked constantly, met whenever they could, Ivan practically never keeping his hands off him, and Till wasn't much better.
He couldn't blame him, though.
But it still hurt.
"So who are we to each other, Till?" He tried to keep his voice sarcastic, but a note of hurt must have crept through, because Till's eyes widened and he looked slightly guilty.
"We're... bound together forever. Boyfriends don't sound good enough." He muttered, turning his face away from him.
Mizi gasped.
Ivan's heart fluttered like never before.
He was certain.
Till didn't have to say he loved him. Ivan didn't have to either. They both simply knew it, felt it deep within themselves.
And Ivan felt it even more when Till began to hug him, when Ivan burst into tears from the overwhelming love he felt from Till.
They loved each other in their own incomprehensible way.
And one day they would be able to tell each other that.
Just not yet.
There had never been a time when Navi's concert hadn't been attended by at least one person who knew his true identity. Hyuna always accompanied him, because she was not only his friend but also his manager, and as we know, Hyuna had to be accompanied by her husband, who liked to call himself an assistant manager, not simply Ivan's closest friend.
Sua, who constantly expressed her dislike for Ivan, rarely missed his concerts. Ivan often teased her, calling her Navi's biggest fan, to which she responded with violence, but she continued to accompany him to his concerts. Now she was even starting to show some enthusiasm when Mizi announced she was coming to a specific concert.
Ivan and his friends began to treat their concert tours a bit like trips. He always arrived in a city early with his crew to spend a few hours relaxing and sightseeing before preparing for the concert. The concert was scheduled for Daegu that evening, so Till and Mizi could attend without any major problems.
And the greedy Ivan could devote his free time entirely to Till.
"Your cousin is terrifying." The man said as they both waited for their order at the café. "Which I guess shouldn't surprise me, since she's related to a weirdo like you." Ivan bit the fingers of Till's hand, which he was flailing about while they were talking. His beloved groaned and pulled his hand away. "Stop it! We're in public! You don't have to constantly confirm to me that you're a freak." The older man just smiled at him stupidly.
"You're so cute, I want to eat you all."
Till coughed awkwardly and elbowed him in the ribs.
"Shut up!" He stuttered. Ivan laughed and gestured to zip his lips that he wouldn't speak again. At that moment, a waitress approached them and served their order. They politely thanked them, and Till waited until the woman had moved a safe distance away before continuing their conversation. "Anyway, when we were alone for the first time, she thanked me for taking care of Mizi when she couldn't." Ivan couldn't help but smile at Sua's tenderness. "But when she said that, she looked at me like she wanted to kill me! I swear, I've never been so scared in my life."
Ivan burst out laughing. He would have guessed that when his cousin met the person she'd been waiting for her whole life, she'd become a bit possessive of them. It was amusing and kind of endearing. And although he often teased her about such behavior, he was happy to see his cousin happier than ever.
When, after their first meeting, Ivan and Sua escorted Till and Mizi to the station, he was certain he was witnessing something beautiful and true.
Was he surprised when Mizi kissed Sua on the cheek goodbye?
Not necessarily. It seemed perfectly appropriate.
However, he was surprised by her behavior when they were alone at the station.
When she finally tore her eyes away from the departing train, she turned to him.
Sua looked as if she resented him for not telling her who he'd set her up with on a blind date. But that anger warred with immense gratitude that Ivan had helped bring about this situation.
She clutched Ivan's jacket tightly and tugged.
"You..." she said, her voice breaking.
She shook her head, then looked back at him with her large eyes, which were always more expressive than her face.
Overwhelmed by it all, she began to cry.
Ivan instinctively hugged her, and she snuggled closer to him, bursting into even more tears.
"She found me. I found her. We both found them," She whispered into his chest.
"Finally, our hearts have been filled." He whispered into her hair.
He will certainly cherish this memory.
Ivan looked at Till with amusement in his eyes.
"That sounds like Sua. But you'll have to get used to it, since she's with your best friend."
Till scowled.
"I have a feeling Mizi would trade me for you as her best friend."
Ivan laughed again, nuzzling his head into the crook of the boy's neck, inhaling deeply of his wonderful scent.
It was true, he had grown very close to Mizi, with whom he shared similar vibes. They had the same sense of humor and got along great, much to Sua's obvious dismay, who couldn't fathom how someone as perfect as Mizi could have such a soft spot for Ivan.
"Then Sua would definitely have contributed to my untimely death," He muttered.
Till snorted.
"And then I'd be the next target."
"At least we'll die together." He muttered, feeling his own words choke him.
Till fell silent for a moment, then said very quietly:
"I'd rather live together."
Ivan felt as if someone had punched him in the stomach. He blinked rapidly several times to keep away the oncoming tears.
He snuggled into Till, planted a kiss on his cheek, then pulled away and, looking deeply into his eyes, said passionately:
"We'll have a long, beautiful life together, Till. I promise." Till's eyes widened. He looked at Ivan intently, then nodded in confirmation.
Wanting to lighten the strange atmosphere, which they couldn't quite understand, they reached for their coffees.
No sooner had they tasted their drinks than a couple entered the café.
"Where's my star?" Luka said upon entering, holding Hyuna's hand.
As they sat down at their table, Ivan felt Till possessively grab his arm.
A pleasant warmth flooded his body. He was obsessed with Till's little acts of jealousy.
And Luka, fully aware of all this, deliberately provoked such situations.
Ivan loved his best friend.
And he truly felt that he loved Till.
"You shouldn't say it so loudly." Till hissed at him. "Someone might find out. And we have to protect Ivan."
His heart pounded and his eyes stung. He had heard too many emotional things for his heart to bear.
"Don't try to cover up your jealousy with your sappy arguments, Till. Situations like this only make Ivan cry."
Till turned around so abruptly that Ivan heard his bones crack.
Ivan instinctively moved his hand to the boy's neck and began massaging it.
"At your age, you have to be careful with such sudden movements, or you'll hurt yourself." He told him in a tender voice.
Of course, this provoked a violent reaction from Till.
"Shut up! Why are you worring this when you're the one crying in public?" Till said, his voice laced with both irritation and embarrassment.
Ivan watched with delight as a charming blush appeared on the boy's face.
I could do anything for him. Even give my life, he thought . But I'd rather live for him.
He held his breath as Till reached a trembling hand to Ivan's face and began to wipe away the tears that had indeed formed.
Ivan wasn't really surprised he reacted that way.
The thought that there were people who cared about him, that they loved him, always overwhelmed him. It was as if he wasn't aware that others loved him, and when he received confirmation that people loved him, he often reacted by crying.
And now he felt a lot, a lot of love.
"Okay, lovebirds, you can stop now," Luka said.
"Has your stomach stopped churning yet?" Ivan revealed.
They met a little later because Luka and Hyuna had to visit the pharmacy.
"It's not my fault I get motion sickness."
"I hope it's just motion sickness." He said in a sarcastic tone.
"You'll always point out my sickliness."
"You're my friend, so I'm worried." He said, looking at him intently. When he was sure his friend understood the message, he smirked. "And I'll always point out how your motion sickness made you puke in my backpack in high school."
"Don't talk about vomiting when Till has such a delicious cake on the table." Without question, Hyuna grabbed the cake and took a bite.
Till's sad expression was so touching that Ivan wanted to buy all the cakes from the bakery for him.
"Are the girls coming here before we prepare for the concert?" Hyuna asked with her mouth full.
Till and Ivan shook their heads simultaneously.
"Mizi has never been here and she wanted to hike Mount Aspan a bit." Till said.
"And Sua barely tolerates all of us, so obviously she prefers spending this time alone with Mizi." Ivan said, reaching for his coffee. "But I wonder what kind of condition she'll be in at the concert, she hates any kind of strenuous physical activity. She's a terrible simp, sacrificing herself like that for a girlfriend..." He laughed.
"You're all hopeless." Hyuna, probably the only sane person in their group, shook her head. "But whatever! We'll have a coffee, do three hours of sightseeing, and then we'll get ready because we have a big show today!"
"Ivan has a great show." Till clarified, sending a pleasant tingle through Ivan's body.
"We're family." Hyuna waved her hand dramatically. "His successes are our successes."
Ivan loved that word: family.
He felt tears welling up in his eyes again. In a surge of tenderness, he embraced his friends and said:
"I love you, guys"
And maybe it was his imagination, maybe not, but he could have sworn he heard Till say in a soft voice, "I love you too."
The stage was his place. He felt like he always belonged there. He never felt more confident than when he was performing. It was as if he'd been doing this his whole life.
These people were there for him, for his voice, not for his looks.
Hyuna often emphasized to him that they were there for his true talent and hard work. Being an artist hiding behind a pseudonym, however, had its limitations.
On stage, he always performed in a tank reminiscent of the laboratory tanks straight from science fiction movies. It was specially lit, so the audience could only see his silhouette, more like a shadow. For some reason, this idea immediately occurred to him when he began to think about organizing concerts while maintaining his anonymity. As if the vision of being in a laboratory tank where experiments were carried out on humans had long been ingrained in his mind.
His fans often said that someone with such an unearthly voice couldn't be an ordinary person, so they welcomed such performances with great enthusiasm.
While waiting in the tank for the official start of the show, he pulled out a pebble with his image painted by Till from his pocket, which he began to treat as some kind of good luck charm.
In a way, that was exactly what happened; after all, it was he who had connected him to Till and Mizi, and he couldn't imagine greater happiness than that.
He smiled and, feeling the love within him, put the pebble in his pocket, ready to perform. And he felt even greater love when he sang his latest song, Karma , thinking that among the Navi-loving audience there were people who saw and loved the real Ivan.
"Till, leave your new pebble here!" Mizi grabbed Till's arm in the karaoke room they'd rented after the concert to celebrate Ivan's successful performance.
"What, you made a new pebble and didn't show me?!" Hyuna exclaimed, slightly tipsy, also grabbing his arm.
As Hyuna got to know Till better, she started forcing him to paint pebbles for her, because she still couldn't create anything pretty besides those red flowers. In this regard, she and Mizi got along great. They both tracked the paths of the different pebbles and updated each other with them in their group chat.
Till reluctantly pulled out a pebble and placed it on the table next to the bottles of alcohol.
Everyone surrounded the pebble, silently admiring the painting of six figures, backs turned, walking forward. Till didn't use any colors, just black paint. It was one of the simplest paintings Till had created, but for some reason, each of them looked exceptionally moved, as if the illustration was close to them.
As if they were the ones striving for a better life.
"This is what your mural will be like, right?" Ivan asked in a melancholic tone.
Till looked at him gently and smiled slightly.
"Yes."
Ivan smiled back and offered his hand which Till took.
"It's settled, we'll leave this pebble here!" Hyuna declared, grabbing the pebble and placing it on the TV screen. "Now let's get back to singing. How about Navi's Karma ?" She said, smiling mischievously at the boy.
"We won't sing my songs!" Ivan immediately protested.
Hyuna punched his shoulder, clearly putting too much force into it.
"Why not? Do you think that since you're the creator, you can beat me?" She smiled broadly. "Plus, I feel like this song connects us all." She put her arm around him and Till.
Mizi giggled and snuggled up to Sua, who smiled back. He'd never seen his cousin so calm and cheerful. She smiled much more often when she had Mizi.
"But we're all singing it together, okay?" He asked conciliatorily.
Hyuna raised her fist in the air in response and shouted,
"Yeah!"
As she started selecting a song on the device, he glanced around the room.
Luka was hugging Hyuna from behind. He, catching Ivan's eye, stuck out his tongue. Ivan laughed and returned the gesture.
And beside him stood Till, who was holding his hand and gave him a reassuring squeeze. When he smiled at him sincerely, Ivan couldn't resist kissing him quickly on the lips, making the boy blush.
That's how it should be. Maybe not from the very beginning, but when Ivan sang Karma with Till, Luka, Hyuna, Sua and Mizi, he was certain they were finally where they were supposed to be.
Together with his family, whom he loved and who made him truly happy.