Chapter Text
Steve sat up, gasping. A quick glance at the clock showed he’d only been dozed off for twenty minutes or so, it was still early.
He opened the door a crack and immediately heard Bucky’s voice. “Where is Groot? You never said.”
“He’s in the Bronx, ogling the Botanical Gardens.” Steve wondered for a second who Groot was, then shoved the thought aside. He needed to get out of here.
“Is that like going to a strip club or a museum?” There was barely contained laughter in Bucky’s voice and it made Steve’s chest ache. Based on what he’d seen in that flash of reality, he probably wasn’t going to get to hear a lot of Bucky’s laughter in the real world. He had to get back, even if he and Bucky were probably never going to have a life anything like this little fantasy he was in. It was enough just to know Bucky was safe, that Sam was watching over him until Steve could get back.
He went to the closet and gave the arsenal a good once over. He took his shield, and a few other things small enough to fit in his pocket. The only way out was through, at this point and Steve wanted to be prepared. He slipped past the kitchen and out the front door, leaving it slightly open to spare the noise of shutting it, then went into the stairwell. “FRIDAY, is Agent Johnson around?”
“Agent Johnson is in the enhanced gym, twenty floors down.”
“Great.” Steve started walking down, trying not to look suspicious. “How did Agent Johnson become a member of SHIELD?”
“Agent Johnson was recruited away from the Rising Tide network to join Agent Coulson’s team as their computer expert. At that time, she was attempting to infiltrate SHIELD to discover her origins, which proved to be alien. Born of an Inhuman mother and meta-human father, Agent Johnson is considered an Omega-Level metahuman, meaning her abilities have the potential to end the world. Agent Johnson’s powers were activated when Coulson’s team discovered a hidden alien city.”
“All that and she’s Coulson’s adopted daughter.” That was crazy. Why would anyone come up with a background that crazy? Simple was better with espionage, Peggy and Natasha were both sticklers about that. “Do you know what I think, FRIDAY? I don’t think Agent Johnson has any powers at all. I think it’s all part of this stupid scenario I’ve been stuck in for days.”
“Captain-” Steve flung open the door the gym level. “Captain, I do not recommend a physical altercation with Agent Johnson. Please allow me to contact Sergeant Barnes.”
“Not a chance.” Steve went into the weight room, where Johnson was using one of the weight machines. “I think we need to talk.”
She didn’t seem to have super strength, at least, and she wasn’t wearing her bracers. Johnson let the stack of weights settle and gave him a professional, ‘I’m the Agent in charge’ smile. “What did you need?”
“I need to wake up.” The gym door had a manual bolt on it, for tower-wide security breaches. Steve slid it into place. “I want to know why you’re keeping me locked in here. It must be obvious by now that I’m not going to work for you. Are you just studying me?"
“Studying you? No! I mean, anyone who spends time with Coulson ends up knowing a little too much about you but I wouldn’t say…” Johnson trailed off. “That’s not what you mean. You still think this isn’t real. You’re not asleep, Captain, and no one is keeping you locked up.”
“You want to know your big mistake? I’m not counting stuff like the dead people walking around.” Steve slid to the ground in front of the door and settled his shield in his lap. “I seem to know everyone in this Tower. The new Hawkeye, I read about her in a newspaper article. I saw Matt Murdock during coverage of the Kingpin scandal.”
“We’ve been trying to keep this quiet, need to know.” Johnson toweled off her face, in what was probably supposed to be a disarming gesture. Steve wasn’t fooled. Her whole body was tense.
“Carol Danver, who apparently is in outer space? She was Rhodey’s date to the Christmas party.” Steve reached into his pocket and slipped out one of the little orbs he’d liberated from Bucky’s weapons cache. “The ones I don’t know, like Wade and Rocket? They don’t exactly have human faces. In fact, the only person I’ve seen since I woke up that I don’t recognize is you. Agent Daisy Johnson, the powerful and beloved half-alien SHIELD agent who goes on deep space missions with Bucky Barnes.”
“Well, when you put it like that…” Johnson took a careful step towards him, then dropped down onto a knee so she could look him in the eye. “Except you’re you, and you’ve seen crazier shit. You lived it. You were frozen for seventy years, then were magically returned in humanity's darkest hour to fight our worst enemies. It’s super Arthurian, when you think about it.”
“Just *STOP*.” Steve raised his hand, so she could see the tiny explosive he was holding. “I think you’re in here with me. I’m not staying. Let me out, or I’ll make my own way and take you with me.”
“So, that time you were trying to make me feel better and told me how sad and crazy you used to feel? I am really sorry I didn’t take that more seriously.” Johnson’s breathing was slow and measured, like he’d seen Bruce do before missions, trying to stay in control. “Please don’t make me have to hurt you, Steve.”
“I’m not making you do anything.” Steve rolled the orb between his fingers and thought about pressing the button. “Last chance.”
“At least this proves once and for all that you’re not a Skrull. A Skrull would never let me get this close.” Johnson reached out her hand and the device between Steve’s fingers cracked into pieces. Well shit.
Onto Plan B. Steve let the pieces fall to the ground and rolled to his feet, shield at the ready.
“A Skrull would know what I’m capable of, would have done their research.” The ground started rumbling. “Someone pretending to be Steve Rogers would have thought to ask, how dangerous is the chick with the weird back story?”
Steve took a step forward, intending to charge her, but the ground crumbled beneath his feet and kept going. Within seconds, he was knee deep in high quality subflooring. Steve tried to pull himself out of the hole, but the floor was still shaking and coming apart.
“They would have asked, what do they call her?” Johnson lifted her hand until it was level with his forehead. “Coulson’s going to have me taken out and shot. Just so you know.”
She waved her hand and everything went black.
Steve woke up strapped to a gurney, still inside the scenario. “So much for not being a prisoner here.”
“That was before you tried to blow up the gym.” A black man Steve had never seen before was standing standing at the end of the bed. “Tony thought a few more precautions were in order. Just until Barnes got back to rein you in.”
“Did you draw the short straw?” Steve tested his bonds. They weren’t quite as solid as they’d been the first time he’d woken up here.
“Jess was out wreaking havoc with your boy, so I volunteered. I’m also someone you don’t know. Thought that might help.” The guy pointed a thumb at his chest. “Luke Cage.”
“Are you one of them? The Inhumans?” Steve needed to know what he was up against. He’d badly misjudged Johnson.
“Nope. I’m a science experiment, like you.” Luke pulled a chair over to the foot of the bed. “I’m hoping we’re going to sit here quietly, until Barnes finishes his rampage. Is that on the table?”
“Not really.” Steve yanked again and the left cuff gave a bit. “Does that sound like something I would do?”
Luke shrugged. “Not really, but I thought I’d try.”
“An experiment.” That sounded true. “Why’d you let them do it?”
“They said they’d let me out of prison.”
“Strucker told Wanda she was joining SHIELD. Didn’t turn out to be true.” There was a straining noise and the cuff tore free. Steve rolled off the edge of the bed, taking the side rail with him.
“Wow.” Luke didn’t get out of his chair. “You are really determined.”
“I was always stubborn. You know what they say about the serum, how it makes bad worse.” Steve gave a hard tug at the chain on his right wrist and it pulled free. He yanked a bar out of the bed rail. Cheap aluminum, but better than nothing.
“You’re not going to have a lot of luck with that, Steve.” Luke folded his arms and tipped back in his chair. “I know you think you’re in some kind of crazy Matrix-”
Steve lunged, doing a leg sweep of Luke’s chair. He went toppling back and Steve rolled with it, swinging the bar at the man’s face. It wasn’t full power but it felt like hitting a steel beam with a bat, before the serum. Not that Steve had ever done anything that stupid.
It was disorienting, but Luke didn’t fight back. “Is this helping?”
“Not really.” Steve was pretty sure he’d break his hand if he kept going. “So you’re… indestructible, I’m guessing?”
“Something like that.”
Steve threw the useless bar across the room and slumped on the floor. So much for taking Natasha’s advice. “Please, I just want to wake up.”
“I wish I could help,” Luke got to his feet and extended a hand to Steve, “Except you’re not asleep.”
Keeping him locked up was pointless, so now he was just constantly watched, ‘kept company’ by a rotating string of Avengers.
“I know it’s a little… science fiction.” Wanda turned the page in her photo album, showing him a picture of her wedding to Vision. “I used to worry I had done something, to make him perfect for me.”
“And now you don’t?”
“It doesn’t seem to matter as much, anymore.” Wanda ran a finger over the lines of the huppa they were standing under, in the picture. “I know false realities, Steve. This isn’t one.”
Steve was standing next to Bucky in the background of the picture, arm looped around his waist. “Sure. Whatever you say.”
“It just sounds elaborate, for a con.” Natasha stirred the ice in the bottom of her coffee and stared out at New York. “An internally consistent dream scenario, where the rest of us are… Computer generated? Wished out of thin air?”
“It’s not perfect.” Steve set his cup down on the edge of the roof and looked down. He wondered what would happen if he jumped.
“Still. That’s a lot of variables. I wouldn’t have done it like that.” She tilted her head and thought about it for a minute. “I’d have pulled James in with you, at least, given you another real person to rely on. Tony too, to distract you. The memory gap thing is another bad choice. Why not send you somewhere you’d never been instead? Why recreate all of this, all of us?”
“I wish I knew.” Everything was harder now that he wasn’t pretending anymore. There was no real reason to do anything, but he’d been hauled out of bed using physical force twice in the past week, so he was trying to play along.
“So, elaborate scheme to make you lose your grip on sanity,” Natasha raised one hand, “Or this is your reasonably happy life.” She raised the other, balancing out what she thought was most likely. “As mind fucks go, this is pretty useless, Steve.”
That didn’t mean it wasn’t real.
“Captain, Sergeant Barnes’ team is returning.”
Steve opened his eyes and gave the pressed tin ceiling a dirty look. “You know what, FRIDAY? I really don’t care.” He’d been sleeping as much as the scenario would let him but he hadn’t had any luck getting back to the real world since his confrontation with Agent Johnson. What ever backdoor Steve had been exploiting was closed now.
“They have a prisoner with them. Sergeant Barnes claims she is responsible for your memory loss.”
Well, that was interesting. Looked like the scenario was trying to shake things up. Steve got out of bed, grabbed the shield and his shoes. Maybe there was one last chance to get out.
A helicopter was just touching down on the pad, and the wind from the blades made Bucky look very dramatic, framed in the open side door. He was staring at something Steve couldn’t see, his face narrowed in intense concentration. He stepped out and hauled something out of the cabin and threw it out onto the roof.
It was a woman, dressed in some kind of combat suit, with the kind of high heeled boots Natasha would have laughed at and what appeared to be randomly placed bits of armor. Shackled, hands and feet, she hit the roof full force with a thud and curled into herself. There were scrape marks on her shaved head, like she’d been dragged and an electronic collar around her neck. “Please, help me!”
Steve stepped towards her but Bucky was faster. “Don’t talk to him! You talk to me. I’m the one you should be afraid of.” Bucky dragged her upright and Steve's fingers clenched on the handle of the shield. “Steve, this is Heather. She’s the one who took your memories.”
“She’s a psychic. Also, a krutaking good fighter.” Rocket limped from the other side of the helicopter, which he’d apparently been flying. He was in rough shape; one of his knees was braced and wrapped up.
“You said a mutant couldn’t have done this.” Heather didn’t look too badly injured, but she was shaking in Bucky’s grasp. A big part of Steve wanted to trust Bucky, wanted to believe everything he’d seen in the past week was real. Steve wanted a future like this one so badly, he couldn’t bear to let this farce go on much longer.
“She’s not a mutant, not an Inhuman. She used meditation to awaken her powers.” Wade clambered out of the cabin and immediately took position beside Bucky and pressed a gun to Heather’s head. “That basically makes her a Sith. Can we just kill her now? She hurt Captain America, I’m pretty sure that means we can kill her.”
Jessica was last out. She had a handful of photos in one hand and was the only one who wasn’t visibly armed. Maybe she didn’t need weapons, he still wasn’t sure what she was capable of. “Did they tell you I’m a PI, Steve? This is Heather Douglas, aka Moondragon. She and her parents were the unfortunate witness to Thanos’ vanguard coming to Earth.” Jessica threw a photo to the ground in front of Heather. It was a teenage girl, smiling at the camera. “They killed her parents and took her, trained her. Except she slipped her leash.” Another photo, this time of Heather in a green spandex costume, neck to boots. “She fought with the good guys, against Thanos. He doesn’t exactly have a great record with his wards.”
Steve wondered if he was supposed to be impressed, or if he was supposed to try and save her. “And she just decided to scoop my brains out one day?”
“That was the confusing part.” Jessica dug into her her stack of photos and pulled out another picture. “She met a boy. Well, sort of.”
The person in the picture was mostly machine and when she saw it, Heather started struggling in Bucky’s grip. “He wanted to help you and you killed him!”
“He tried to conquer the galaxy.” Rocket hobbled closer. “To save it! That’s not even very original.”
“Bucky, stop this.” Steve wasn’t sure he could fight Bucky again, even if he knew none of this was real.
“No.” Bucky slipped the fingers of his cybernetic hand under Heather’s collar. “Was that when you got the idea? When you watched Steve and his team put down Korvac?”
“I didn’t do anything.” Heather shrieked when Wade grabbed her shoulder. “I’m not a bad guy! I’m part of the Infinity Watch, you can-”
“One more lie and I'll blow your brains out.” Wade pressed the gun harder against the side of her head. “Speaking from personal experience, even if you don’t die, it hurts a lot.”
She stilled and her pleading look sharpened into a cruel smile. “You’re the worst of them, Rogers. You’re still a puppet, you can’t make the hard choices. You want to believe that people are good, deep inside, even when they keep proving over and over that given the chance they will embrace their selfish nature. Your devotion to “freedom,” your moral absolutism--they’re just strings to bind you. How can I save the world if there are still men like you in it?”
Steve wasn’t impressed with her speech. The scenario was getting so derivative, it was plagiarizing Ultron.
“Undo it.” The order was flat, but Steve knew Bucky - or at least, he knew the real Bucky: He was afraid.
Steve expected Wade to shoot her, the scenario had already established him as dangerously erratic, to extinguish Steve’s last hope of escape. It didn’t happen.
Instead Heather tilted her head up at Bucky, still smiling. “You’ll have to take off the collar, and I won’t do it with a gun to my head.”
Bucky let go of her neck. “Wade, back off. Jess, get her out of this thing.”
Wade looked scandalized. “What? No, you said-”
“Put the guns away.” Bucky’s tone didn’t leave any room for negotiation and Wade, with a dramatic sigh, holstered his pistols.
“Rocket, give me some cover?” Jessica came closer and pressed a thumb to the scanner on the collar. “Just remember, you’re on a roof, with some of the toughest people on earth. And some of the most mind-control resistant.”
“I still say leaving you a stain in the pavement would probably fix this whole thing.” Rocket prodded Heather in the ribs with the butt of his rifle. “Get up.”
Heather stood up, a smooth motion like being held at gunpoint on the ground had been her idea. “I really did expect more of you, Captain. You didn’t even manage to kill Quake during your little outburst.”
Steve refused to let himself believe. None of this was real, he wasn’t going to get any memories back.
Heather’s hand was ice cold when she touched his face, and he flinched. She smiled again. “I knew I couldn’t kill you, not directly. That would have just made you a martyr. I had to discredit you, take a little shine off Captain America’s image. Killing Quake would have been perfect, but you’re too wholesome to even manage that.”
Steve could have, had even wanted to yesterday.
“Well, you can’t say I didn’t push you to your limits.” Heather closed her eyes and then it felt like she set the inside of Steve’s skull on fire. He could hear shouting, could make out Bucky’s voice, but there didn’t seem to be any words.
Steve’s knees gave out and the he and Heather sank together to the roof. Heather pressed her other hand to the other side of his face. “Almost done.”
The fire burned hotter. Steve thought he screamed but he couldn’t hear himself, could hear nothing. It was worth it though, if he could wake up. It was worth it if he could get back-
The piece Heather had carved away slid neatly, if not painlessly, back into place. The last ten years came crashing back in waves.
Bucky, in his arms, dozing on the deck of a plane to Siberia.
T’Challa, introducing Steve to his fiance, Ororo. “She has a friend that can help.”
The photographs of Thanos’ fleet, on a direct course for Earth.
Tony, hugging him, shaking Bucky’s hand. “We need all the help we can get.”
Phil Coulson, trying to win Clint and Natasha’s trust and friendship back with scones.
Slipping a ring onto Bucky’s finger and watching the world dissolve into camera flashes.
A call from Westchester and an old man telling him they were ready, they would help.
Steve would never forget what it felt like to drown, to breathe out his last gasp of air and suck in icy water, to sink and freeze in the dark.
Odin’s face, dissolving into Loki’s as he pledged them Asgard’s men.Carol Danvers, suiting up, saying she outranked him.
War.
Walking up to a podium and a blinding pain. Bucky’s scream.
Peace.
This was just like that. He couldn’t see, couldn’t breathe.
Sam wearing the costume, with wings. Bucky wearing the costume, with guns.
Natasha, stitching closed Matt’s back, complaining about Foggy’s old needlework.
Dancing at Wanda’s wedding.
Peter’s college graduation.
A secret war with the Skrull.
Tommy and Billy, and the look on Vision’s face as the whole team stood outside the nursery.
Heather’s hands went away. Steve could hear Bucky yelling, far away and suddenly the words came into focus. “What did you do to him?”
The ocean receded.
It was 2025 and Steve was on a roof in New York City, while Bucky and his ‘Involuntary Science Experiment’ social club tried to get a powerful psychic back in chains.
Rocket had launched himself at Heather’s face and Steve was never going to live down calling him a raccoon, not if they both lived another hundred years. Jessica had Heather by the wrist chains, and her feet were digging divots into the tar of the roof.
“Your shoes are really impractical for field work.” Wade swept her legs out and stomped on a knee. “You want a boot with a good sole, so you can stay on your feet and your armor doesn’t even protect your knees. Barnes-”
“Got it.” Bucky clamped the collar back around her neck. “This was a bad idea. Why did I think this would work?”
“Bucky.” Steve’s voice came out a croak. He tried to stand and didn’t quite make it.
Bucky was by his side in an instant. “Hey. I’m sorry. This was stupid. I’m just getting desperate trying to help you-”
Steve pulled him in, crushed their mouths together. It was better than breathing, and he didn’t even mind Wade’s wolf whistle. When they finally pulled apart, the first thing that popped into his mind was, “I tried to kill Daisy.”
“I know.” Bucky buried his fingers in Steve’s hair and Steve could hear the familiar whirring gears of his arm. “She’ll get over it. Let’s get you-”
“I remember.”
Bucky’s arms went around Steve’s neck and the words, “Christ. I thought I really lost you this time,” were breathed hot and desperate into Steve’s ear.
Steve rubbed Bucky’s back, pretending they were alone. If Bucky needed to fall apart, Steve could be here for him, after all the trouble he’d gone to getting Steve’s memories back. “Give me a minute.”
Heather was still sprawled on the roof, cradling her knee, when Steve went to stand over her.
Jessica had been right, she had fought with them against Thanos. Steve remembered her face, her costume. “None of that ever happened. You did all this just to make me go crazy?”
“You’re such a curse on this planet, Captain. So righteous, so certain in the good of man.” Heather sounded disgusted. “There will never be peace on a planet with freedom. I wish you could understand that.”
Bucky got unsteadily to his feet. “Jess, can you put her in lock up?”
“Or maybe...” Heather’s cruel smile was back. “Maybe I didn’t take anything from you at all. Maybe you’re still lying on a table in Tony Stark’s lab, encased in crystal.”
Doubt curled around Steve, suffocating him. Memories or not, his life was a little too good to be true. He shot a look at Bucky, who was glaring at Heather, eyes full of hate and anger.
“Maybe I just fed you a decade’s worth of false memories and you took them, willingly. Maybe I just killed Captain Ameri-”
In one smooth motion, Bucky drew the pistol from his thigh holster and shot Heather between the eyes. Steve was expecting the sound of a bullet, to be covered in brains and blood, but instead a pulse of light hit Heather and she fell backwards onto the roof. Her chest was still rising and falling. The gun was an icer, like Coulson had used on Steve that first day.
“No. No lies, no monologuing. This is done.” Bucky looked at Steve, at Steve’s shield, and Steve realized he was afraid. He also looked exhausted, in the harsh lighting of the roof, dark circles under his eyes like he hadn’t slept since he’d left. “I won’t fight you. If you still can’t believe this is real, I won’t stop you leaving but I won’t fight you.”
All Steve wanted was for this to be real, but how could he ever know for sure?
Rocket limped closer to Bucky, gave him an awkward pat on the back. His voice was pitched low but Steve could still hear him. “After we dump her in lockup, I’m meeting up with Groot. We’re going to go do that Nova archives thing. Come with us, if you can’t be here anymore. He’ll get over it.”
Bucky shook his head. “I can’t leave him.” The misery rolled off him in waves.
Steve picked through his memories, trying to find holes, some way he could be sure. He could remember Wakanda, living in the palace while Jean burned out Bucky’s command codes, and Wanda, so desperate and lonely, wishing her brother back into existence. He remembered slipping a ring onto Bucky’s finger and the both of them shipping out the next morning, like something from when they were young. He remembered the war, their alien allies, and his own government trying to put him down afterwards. Heather may have been right, about him being too powerful a symbol.
There were the little things too. Tony putting strawberries in everything the year Pepper married Happy. Comforting Peter, who had shown up at the tower so drunk he could barely stick to the walls, the night Gwen left for England. He could remember Logan, who’d made it to the future the long way. Steve could remember Doreen, and her army of squirrels, taking care of Luke and Jessica’s little girl.
It all lined up perfectly, no continuity errors or glitches. He still wasn’t ever going to be sure.
If this was real, and he wanted it to be real, Steve wasn’t going to let Heather win. He could be like Wanda, with her photo album. “We could go together.”
“Yeah?” There was some hope creeping back into Bucky’s voice.
“Carol did seem pretty desperate for help.” It had to be real. Natasha was right, this was so much effort for so little gain. “It’s okay, Buck. I’m here, you got me back.”
Bucky pulled him into another kiss, and Steve let himself really feel it, the way Bucky loved him, wanted him. He heard Wade’s camera go off, but Steve was really beyond caring. You could never be sure, but you could get to a place where it didn’t matter.