Chapter Text
Chapter 3
They were filming their reaction to their Day In The Life Of Dan and Phil In London video, just messing about and having fun. They had been letting the door between their private lives and their subscribers get nudged further and further open, and had agreed that this video would be a good way to continue opening up. Reacting to their past selves meant that they could give context to choices they had made in times where they couldn’t be as open, and also sprinkle in some little behind the scene tidbits that they knew their viewers would hoover up like the little parasocial Roombas that they are.
They’d already kicked off the video with a gay joke and Dan sneakily complimenting Phil in his own special Dan way. They’d bantered about Phil’s glasses and his feet reveal, then settled into a few minutes of just watching their old life, roasting their old video quality, phil doxing them again, and picking on builders who may or may not have been french.
Before long though, Dan in the old video was shown, and present Dan decided he was going to cause chaos by using air quotes to describe him as being in ‘his room’. At this point Dan was finally feeling comfortable enough in his sexually, and the maturity of their fans to stop pushing at boundaries, that he didn’t see the harm in subtly confirming some of the old theories that were out there. After all, they’d done so during their Terrible Influence tour and the reaction every night had been great, and none of their fans had tried to push them to reveal more than they were comfortable with.
He had figured though, that his comment would be the thing to break the internet and that the rest of the video would just pass by with their usual jokes and quips, so he settled in to enjoy himself and attempt not to cringe too much at his past self, something he’d been getting better at doing, learning to give himself grace and accept that he’d been doing the best that he could at the time.
So he was quite shocked when, after several minutes of watching their old morning routine and just making casual comments and the odd joke, Phil piped up with “I like you with like stud things in,” tugging on his ear to clarify that he meant Dan’s old earrings. With a smirk that indicated trouble, he continued, “Why is it always just the same ring now, Dan?” He joked lightly, although the smile now lighting up his face did soften the effect somewhat.
Dan didn’t see any harm in playing this bit out, so he paused their old video and simply replied, “You know why, Phil, because you brought it for me,” maybe playing up his attitude and reaction slightly, to match his ‘Youtube Persona’, but sincere nonetheless.
Their eyes met and they had one of their silent conversations, Phil checking whether Dan wanted to announce the rest of the significance of it to their Phans or not. Just that previous comment alone would be enough to send them all into a spin for days, if not weeks, but Dan found himself wanting to be honest with them and be able to share the full truth for once. They could always reevaluate later and cut it during editing if anything changed their minds.
Reassured that his partner was still comfortable with the conversation, Phil continued for the camera. “Aww, and why did I buy it for you, Danny?” Phil leaned his chin on the backs of his hands in what Dan had coined his ‘precious baby angel pose’, leaning in towards Dan and over exaggeratedly grinning.
Dan heaved a sarcastic, put-upon sigh. “So you could ask me to marry you, Phil,” he responded, deadpan as anything, acting as though it was the most boring, inconsequential thing for the camera, even though inside he still got butterflies any time he thought about that special evening.
“Yes, I did,” Phil said smugly to the camera, although that quickly softened when he looked at Dan and quietly said, “and you said yes,” as though he couldn’t really believe his luck that that was true, even after all this time.
“Yes, I did,” echoed Dan, gazing back at him with his ‘Heart Eyes’ on full power, before leaning in to kiss him softly. The kiss lasted no more than a second or two, but it did feel a bit strange to be doing so in front of a camera. It was something that they’d always thought was a hard boundary that they would not cross, but he couldn’t help himself when Phil was looking at him like he’d hung the moon, and he was remembering that amazing night that they got engaged.
Deciding that debating whether or not to leave the kiss in could be a problem for later when they were editing, Dan turned back to their computer and waited for Phil to do the same before pressing play on the old video once more.
They made it through the rest of the video with only their usual level of banter and a few reflective moments of how they’d felt in the past, what actions they tried to take to hide their sexualities and how they were grateful now to not feel the need to do the same in the present.
After a brief moment of Phil encouraging Dan to show off more with his piano, and getting him to play a song on the melodica, they wrapped up the filming of the new video with an encouraging message to the fans and a joke referencing one of their more recent previous videos.
Later, when they’d settled on the sofa next to each other after finishing all of their little post-filming jobs, Phil turned to Dan to check in with him. “So I know you were ok with it in the moment, but now how are you feeling about including that in the video? It’s a lot farther over the line than we were ever really planning to go and if we need to edit any, or all of it, out, that’s ok. I don’t know why I even brought it up in the first place, I’m sorry.” By the end, his speech had sped up and his hands were waving all over the place.
Dan turned so that they were facing each other, rather than just sitting next to each other, and caught his hands, holding them captive between them. “Hey, are you not ok with any of that being in there? It’s not just me that it affects,” he reminded him gently.
“No, I’m ok with it, I told you I’m happy to tell them as much or as little as you want to, and I meant that. But now I’m feeling like I’ve just pushed you to reveal more than I should have. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, or to start to spiral.”
“I think you’re the one that’s spiralling, Bub.” Dan replied with a soft chuckle. “I think the wise thing to do would be to sleep on it before we edit it one way or the other, but right now, I’m feeling really good about it. I think I want them to know, if you do too.”
“Really?” Phil asked, a disbelieving smile on his face.
“Yeah, I think I’m ready. I think they are too, they’re not the same pushy audience that they used to be, and even if there’s one or two bad eggs, we can weather it together. We know how, now. I have an amazing, beautiful, funny, talented fiancé and I want to be able to show him off and tell the world how lucky I am. After all, aren’t you the one that just told me that I shouldn’t be ashamed to show off?” Dan was grinning by the end, and Phil couldn’t help but mirror him.
“I’m proud of you, Bear.”
“I’m proud of you too, Bub. I’m proud of us, and how far we’ve come,” he responded, thinking that if the Dan from the video that they’ve just reacted to could see them now, he wouldn’t believe how incredibly happy and content they are with their lives.
Phil squeezed his hands and said, “Me too.” He pulled dan into a hug, carding his fingers through his hair and rocking them both slowly side to side. “So we’ll sleep on it and decide in a day or two what to keep. But if you’re ready, I’m ready too. I’ve got an amazing, beautiful, funny, talented fiancé I’d love to show off too, you know.”
A few days later, they uploaded the video with all the original content included and watched Tumblr go into a full scale meltdown, laughing at all the incoherently screaming posts and the Gifs and memes people made from the video. Amongst all the chaos though, it was nice to see people still sending out reminders to respect their privacy and not cross any lines. It was incredible how different their audience were now compared to a decade or so ago (and no, Dan wasn’t going to think about just how long they’d had an audience for, he was feeling buoyed by this new experience and was in no mood for an existential crisis thank you very much).
As one final treat, Phil decided to share one of his favourite photos to Instagram. It was Dan watching the sunset on the evening they’d gotten engaged. He captioned it ‘Minutes before he became my fiancé’ and Dan left a comment of ‘How could I say anything but yes?’, then they switched off their phones and just enjoyed the time that they were spending together, wrapped up in each others’ arms and looking forward to their future where they could continue to be open and honest and proud.
Until Dan turned to Phil and said, “The earring really was genius for the engagement ring, but I don't have a clue what we are going to do for wedding rings,” and Phil just groaned and shoved him off the couch, both of them laughing before he hit the floor, where he promptly dragged Phil down to as well.