Chapter Text
agent tripp gave her his jacket to throw over her shoulders, a really lame attempt to obscure her rapid and progressively destabilising phasing and also to cover the mess of blood on her arm.
she still clutched her bear tight to her chest with her clean arm.
they were walking hurriedly through the streets of san francisco - the busy streets of san fransisco - heads down, trying not to be noticed.
after phil coulson and nick fury were done with their yelling match, they’d returned to the common area and begrudgingly told her she was technically a wanted criminal. being an attack-dog - a former attack-dog - for a shadow organisation that imploded in on itself would do that to you.
it was phil coulson, agent tripp and skye who were hurriedly escorting her through the streets until they reached one specific house and took a sharp right up towards the front door.
agent tripp was the one to knock, skye and phil coulson standing close behind her to continue obscuring her from view. ava knew covert missions, and on these streets, she stuck out like a sore thumb.
she was also in an immense amount of pain - her suit had been out of commission for most of the day, and her phasing was slipping further and further out of her control with each passing moment.
a relatively tall, brownish-grey haired man with a friendly face opened the door mere seconds later, a smile on his face.
“hi! oh, wow, you must be the agents. please, come in - i’m uh, i’m scott lang, by the way,” he greeted them, stepping to the side and allowing them inside his home.
ava was immediately hit with the smell of it. something sugary and sweet, like a baked good or pastry. the building felt lived in, the air was warm and the walls stood around her in a way that told tales of the lives within them, even if they were just fucking walls.
“bill and hank are setting up some things for ava, uh, bill says you know about a containment chamber?” he continued, voice more of a question when he looked at her. she watched as his eyes flickered to the stuffed animal in her hand, which made her reflexively tense her grip on it. she nodded tersely.
“cool, so they’re finishing that up in the guest room. hope is picking up some things from hank’s lab and-”
“daddy!”
ava’s head snapped to the side, watching as a short, energetic bundle of child came hurtling into the room at speeds unsafe for a thing her size. the little girl flung herself onto scott’s leg, a piece of crudely folded paper in her other hand.
“are these more work friends?” she asked brightly. “i made a welcome card!” she added cheerily, waving around the paper.
scott leaned down, picking the girl up and taking the paper from her and looking at the paper.
“this is wonderful, peanut, i’m sure she’ll love it,” scott assured, eyes fixed on - his daughter?
scott lang had a daughter?
scott looked at her, something meaningful she couldn't decipher, but ava’s thoughts were far, far away.
the safehouse she’d been offered had a child in it. a child.
did they know her history? they had to - bill was here, and he wouldn’t lie, right?
he wouldn't.
why would they set her up somewhere with a child?
“are you miss ava?” the girl asked, twisting in her dad’s hold to look at her. ava tugged agent tripp’s jacket tighter around herself, needing to make sure the little girl didn’t catch sight of the blood splattered across her suit.
“yes,” she managed, swallowing thickly past her growing apprehension and nausea.
there was a kid here. a little kid. ava couldn't stay here. she was too dangerous, too dark.
“i’m cassie! mr bill told me about you,” she said happily, squirming until her dad let her down and she was free to dash over to ava. ava took a step back, eyes wide as her heart leapt into her throat - she felt pain rip through her body, making her breathe harshly and raggedly as she tried to put a safe distance between her and the little bundle of energy.
the little girl watched with those wide, curious and innocent eyes of hers as ava’s form flickered, flashing in and out of existence.
then, she sobered, suddenly very serious.
“mr bill and daddy’s girlfriend told me about you, about how you hurt sometimes.” she said, words simple and yet so - so earnest.
she kept on looking at her, waiting for an answer, so ava found herself stiltedly nodding once more, unable to force any words from her lips.
“i get boo-boos sometimes,” she agreed sagely, and ava’s heart ponded fiercely in her chest. boo-boos. her mom had called her bumps and bruises boo-boos. “i know it’s not the same,” she went on, so young and so wise, “and daddy said your hurt won’t just go away with a band-aid and a kiss, but they can help!” she went on, procuring a bright pink plaster - a band-aid - from somewhere on her person, and reaching up to give it to her.
ava stayed frozen to the spot, glancing at someone, anyone, for help in what to do with this situation. ava wasn’t used to interacting with kids. she wasn’t used to interacting, period.
her eyes met scott’s, who was looking at both her and his daughter with something soft and loving in his expression that was completely foreign to her.
he gave ava an encouraging nod.
holding her breath, agent tripp’s jacket still clutched tightly over her shoulder, she leant down, her stuffed bear perched against her knees as she reached out an uncertain, shaky hand to receive the plaster from the girl.
with a serious expression, she removed the backs of the plaster and reached out with her small fingers for ava’s hand, putting the plaster on the back of her hand with more caution, gentleness and care than ava can ever remember feeling.
then, with no prompting, she placed a small kiss on the plaster before stepping back and beaming up at her.
“does the hurt feel better?” she asked.
ava was just staring wide-eyed at where the plaster was sat against her hand - trembling, yes, but no longer flickering in and out of reality.
“yes,” she breathed, so hoarse and quiet she wasn’t actually sure if she said it.
“good.” the girl said seriously with a nod, before reaching for her hand unprompted and holding it in one of her own small, fragile hands and starting to tug her away.
“i can show you where you’re staying. daddy say’s its polite to show guests around,” she recited. ava used her bloodied - dry blood, thankfully - hand to hold her stuffed animal close to her chest, standing back up and letting the little girl drag her to another room in the house, already rattling on.
“he says it’s very sudden, and a little strange, but i’m used to strange. you know, a man in a bee costume tried to hurt me a couple months ago - but then he got really really small, and now he’s gone. anyways, this is the guest room…”
………………
ava is not used to breakfast. as a concept, it is foreign to her. she knows it is the most important meal of the day only because it is when SHIELD fed her the largest portions.
ava is not used to how the langs did breakfast. they did it together.
and it was a weekend, which meant everyone was there and they were having a brunch instead.
“ava!” cassie called, knocking on her door rapidly for a few seconds before letting herself inside.
ava watched her bundle inside, wearing her sunday best (shorts and a blue tee) and that ever-present, tooth-gapped smile of hers.
“daddy says brunch is ready. your friends are here and mom is here and dad is here.” she babbled excitedly, hurrying over to her bed, where she was perched, and reaching for her hand. “come on!” she hurried, excited at the prospect of whatever pancakes were being served.
ava hadn’t tried one yet. she mostly stuck to cereal and juice and the sausages. sometimes the eggs, if they were sunny-side-up or softboiled. her mom used to make those for her.
when cassie’s hand reached hers, a jolt of pain ran through ava, cassie’s hand going right through her own and ending up on her bed. cassie retracted her hand with a frown.
ava looked away, hoping her messy hair covered the pained look on her face.
cassie was so small. so young. innocent. ava didn’t get why she was so nice to her, but maybe that was just how kids were. how normal kids were.
ava had never met any in her youth.
“is it the hurt again?” cassie asked, tone clear of judgement. how is it that this little girl was so nice to her? so kind?
ava didn’t deserve it. she was a killer. living in normalcy reminded her just how much she didn’t deserve it.
“yeah,” she managed to croak, voice breaking as her body flickered even more. bill and hank and hope and even scott had been working on her cure, sometimes even talking to those scientists, fitz and simmons - they hadn’t actually died -, about ways to stabilise her, stop the degrading stability of her body.
the work was slow, but most importantly to her they were actually doing it. and what they were doing helped.
that didn’t mean she didn’t have bad days. today was one of those.
“would you rather eat in here?” cassie suggested easily, blinking at her with those big, knowing eyes. ava felt like the little girl saw her - all of her - whenever she looked at her.
“if… if the others don’t mind…” she forced herself to say, fingers clutching at the bedsheet beneath her. ava had only just gotten used to sleeping underneath it. it was thick and soft and a pale, pale blue colour. she really liked it.
“okay!” cassie chirped, and with that, the little lang left her alone in the room again.
being alone in the lang house wasn’t as bad as being alone in the labs. she had her quantum chamber for when she needed it, and the guest room was decorated generously. ava felt bad about taking up so much space in scott’s home, but he kept on thanking her for just being there.
scott liked her company. liked her.
there was also the small collection of cards and drawings cassie had made for her littered around the room. on the dresser, haphazardly taped to the walls. they always cracked away at her heart, making it flutter in her chest with something warm.
ava would raise hell if anything or anyone ever tried to hurt cassie.
ava reached over to the nightstand, trying to focus on the feeling of the sun against her skin from the window the bed was tucked against, opening the drawer and pulling out one of the many pill bottles.
bill and hank and hope and sometimes scott and fitzsimmons hadn’t only been working on her cure. they’d also helped create and prescribe her medications she could take to dissipate her pain. not make it go away, odds were it never would, but help make it more bearable. less.
she opened the bottle, struggling for a few seconds to keep her hand solid enough to open the lid, before taking two of the pills from the bottle and sealing it once more, putting it back where it belonged.
she downed the pills with sips of water from the glass on the nightstand, putting it back down and sighing as she felt the cool liquid travel down her throat.
ava wasn’t going to get over the marvel of cold or warm drinks anytime soon. at SHIELD, it had always been room temperature. boring. bland. with the langs, it could be whatever she wanted. don’t get her started on the wonders of a warm shower. or, when her body was being extra cruel to her and she didn’t think she could bare to stand, a bath.
ava had been delighted to discover what a bath was.
ava had been sitting on her comforter for a few minutes when the door creaked back open. her head snapped back up, a little nervous, but it abated when she saw who it was.
“bill?” she asked, trying to get over her surprise of seeing the man again.
“hi, ava. scott invited me over for brunch. cassie said you were having pains?” he asked gently, still peeking at her from behind the half-opened door.
“um, yeah,” she managed, getting herself ready to get up and join the langs and their extended family for brunch, because bill was there. he’d come all the way to have brunch with them and ava -
“would you still be up for eating something? there’s soft-boiled eggs and buttered toast,” he asked, and ava knew him well enough to see it for what it was.
a bribe.
ava cracked a smile.
“um, yeah, sure, i can-” she agreed, but before she could finish, bill kicked the door open fully, a tray in his hands covered in different plates of brunch foods.
“awesome. mind if we come in?” he asked, just as the door opened wide enough for ava to see the others behind him.
cassie, with a big grin and two cups of milk. scott with a big platter of waffles. hope with a tray with plates of bacon and sausages and a carton of apple juice. maggie with all sorts of plates and cutlery. hank, paxton, luis, kurt and dave floating somewhere behind the rest of them with nothing in their hands but smiles on their faces.
“um - no, not at all. please,” she agreed quickly, smiling despite her confusion as the extended lang family made their way into the room, passing things to each other and bustling about, moving their brunch from the kitchen into her room.
for her.
ava grinned as cassie passed her one of the cups of milk, holding it gently as the little girl climbed her way onto ava’s bed next to her as the others made themselves comfortable and started sharing the prepared food and drinks.
for her.
………………
cassie was playing dress-up.
ava was playing with her.
“do you want to match?” she’d asked her excitedly, showing off a pink teeshirt her mother had gotten her the week prior with a glittery smiley-face on it. cassie had politely declined, but it was more so due to the fact that she could really only wear her compression clothes and her suit, otherwise she’d be in immense amounts of pain.
cassie had taken the news in stride. she’d settled for rummaging through her wardrobe instead, not finding anything remotely ava’s size, before deciding her dad’s room was a better place to look and going through his clothes instead to get things ava could put on over her compression clothes.
it’s how she ended up standing next to scott with a big, unflappable grin on her face as cassie giggled with delight at the sight of the both of them wearing the same clothes.
scott had duplicates of all his favourite flannels and bathrobes. he let ava keep the bathrobe, with the same grin as cassie spread across her face.
………………
three days. ava had been in absolute agony for three days before bill came down, stomping up a storm and raving about how she should have told him sooner, he would have gotten down earlier, she needs to tell him these things.
she’d burst into tears on the spot.
………………
“i’m gonna be the coolest dad ever,” scott cooed, petting between the ears of the furry companion they’d travelled to pick up. ava sat in the passenger seat on the way to the shelter, but was sitting in the back with the clingy beast now.
“you already are,” ava remarked, taking the dog’s leash as scott handed it to her. he looked at her, something earnest and proud and loving in his eyes.
ava smiled at him, the dog turning from scott to press its nose against her cheek, licking it with a slobbery tongue. the worker at the shelter had said most found the dog’s wet kisses disgusting and invasive, but ava was thrilled at the touch.
it was new. different. friendly. she loved it.
“and you are going to be the bestest dog ever,” she cooed at the creature, who wagged his tail happily at the attention, the massive thing thumping against the carseat.
muon sat right next to her, laying his massive front paws on her lap when scott closed the car door and very quickly accepting his place as her new blanket-slash-seatbelt.
bill had been very right. an animal companion would help her. she’d already burn the world for muon.
………………
cassie screamed when she saw muon.
she already loved him, petting his huge head for almost an hour straight when she first saw him.
ava smiled at her the whole time.
………………
something about bill helped her sleep. she didn’t know what, but whenever her pain was particularly bad, and she needed more help with her hands-on care than she could provide herself, she would call him, and after helping her, she would be out like a light.
he’d sit at the head of her bed, tuck a strand of her hair out of her face and smile softly at her and muon, who always slept beside her when she was having a particularly rough time. she’d clutch her stuffed bear close to her chest beneath the sheets and listen to bill’s soothing voice as he told her stories. words that meant nothing and everything all at once. tales of his youth, books he recalls particularly liking - or particularly disliking - and ava would be asleep within the hour.
one time, she’d practically collapsed into him after a particularly rough session in her quantum chamber, his strong hands firmly but gently holding her flickering body close to his chest in a warm embrace her body ached for.
another time he’d been brushing her hair. one minute, she was listening to him tell her about the blue morpho butterfly, sun creeping across her skin and painting her with a warmth she felt deep within her soul. the next minute, it was the evening sun outside the window, and her head was in bill’s lap and he was using his fingers to gently card through her hair.
ava liked it when bill was around. he popped by a few times a month, bringing with him his research, his squabbles with hank that hope and scott would have to diffuse, his smile and a positivity that was slowly making it’s way through ava.
she wasn’t dying, not anymore. she was living.
………………
ava sat at the table next to scott. she’d just put cassie to bed - it was scott’s week to have her. ava had learned quickly when the little girl would or wouldn’t be around - one week, she would be with maggie and paxton, and the next she’d be with her and scott.
the man sat across from her was no stranger. she’d seen him on the news scott sometimes played, but it had been hope and hank who had told her once when they’d visited her with fitzsimmons to make some additional accommodations and improvements to her suit.
“when would i need to leave?” scott asked, voice low. he was considering the offer.
ava’s eyes never strayed from the man across the table. people had told her time and time again her stare was unnerving. this man was not exempt from her look of steel.
“now.” the man replied, just as grave.
scott looked from the man then to ava with a frown.
“stark has already signed the accords?” he asked eventually.
“yes,” sam wilson replied.
“would i need to?” ava asked quietly, resenting the words. “i don’t want to,” she added after a moment, directing the words to scott.
scott sighed. sam’s eyes drifted to her.
“i’m sorry,” he started, “who are you?” he asked, not unkindly.
ava didn’t smile as she replied.
“ava starr. maybe your captain america friend knows me,” she replied, a little bitter. “we worked for the same organisation for a stretch.”
sam’s brow furrowed.
“you were SHIELD?” he asked. ava pursed her lips.
“a nebulous in between of SHIELD and HYDRA, actually. i worked for both.”
sam’s gaze hardened, and his body stiffened.
“relax,” she huffed, leaning back in her seat. “you’re smuggling a HYDRA fugitive ten times more dangerous than me. i wasn’t brainwashed, or from the 20s, or whatever. some of the handlers i had were HYDRA so i did a few missions for them.” she explained, not wanting to go into it much more than that.
sam, to his credit, just looked confused at that point.
“it’s a long story,” scott added, a little begrudging. “anyways. i appreciate the offer, but me personally, i’m going to have to decline.” he decided, and ava watched as sam’s shoulders sunk in some kind of defeat, opening his jaw to protest. “i have two girls and a dog to look after.” scott added, stopping sam before he could say anything. his tone left no room for an argument. “i can forward you to some other people who might be some help, though,” he continued, fishing out his phone.
“here, i’ll give you their numbers,” he trailed off, reaching for a notebook and pen he had on the table from the meeting about a startup he’d had with his friends earlier that day. it was close to midnight. muon whined at her feet, nudging at her leg in an attempt to get her to put him to bed.
he was a very needy dog. ava liked to pamper him.
“one of them is a literal super-hero, so this stuff will be right up her ally,” he finished, tearing the page out and sliding it across to sam. ava saw the numbers, and the names scribbled next to them in scott’s semi-legible scrawl.
agent may. agent johnson. phil.
ava smiled a little at that. yes, those people would want to help out captain america.
“thank you, and sorry to bother,” sam accepted the paper graciously, standing up with his head bowed. “sorry for taking your time. i’ll see myself out,” he apologised, ava and scott both watching him as he picked up his jacket and left. ava waited for the sound of the door to open and then close before looking across at scott.
“never thought you’d be one to say no to captain america,” she remarked with a small smile.
scott looked at her, earnest.
“i meant what i said.” he told her with a shrug, before getting up and taking the coffee mugs he and sam had been drinking tea (courtesy of ava’s recommendation, of course) from and bringing them to the kitchen sink.
the warmth she’d slowly gotten used to blossomed from her heart up her body, creeping up her neck and flushing her cheeks.
i have two girls and a dog to look after.
ava smiled and resisted the urge to cry. home. after all these years, lost and alone, she’d found home again. here in san fransisco with the langs. and bill and hank, and hope and muon, and sometimes luis and kurt and dave, and sometimes fitzsimmons.
home.