Chapter Text
Beth stopped at the door while Daryl and Merle came into room 412. When he noticed she had dropped his hand, Daryl turned around and looked at her questioningly. Beth shrugged.
“This is something between you three” she explained. Daryl frowned and shook his head.
“If there’s anyone who deserves to see her after all this time, that’s you” he countered, already pushing her inside. Beth let him: she couldn’t deny that she had missed Mrs. Dixon really bad. When she had been working there, she had always considered her as one of her favorite patients despite of her difficult personality. That, added to all the things that had happened throughout the last months, had made Beth bond in some strange way to that old woman who managed to communicate with her even if she barely spoke.
However, she still hesitated for a couple seconds more before she took the final steps to get to the side of her bed, where she slept. Merle was standing on the other side, looking so pale it was alarming.
“Mrs. Dixon” Beth whispered like she had done every morning when she came into her room. She put a hand on her shoulder and shook her with extreme delicacy until her wrinkled eyelids opened heavily. She blinked, her stare lost somewhere in the ceiling, and then she turned her head towards Beth.
“Hello, sweetie” she greeted her, her voice weak, “Where were you?”
Beth felt a lump forming on her throat. She couldn’t imagine how lonely she had must felt while Beth had been away, with Dawn in charge.
“I’ve been… sorting out some issues” Beth answered, not daring to raise her voice. She smiled, “Today I bring people with me”.
“My Daryl” Mrs. Dixon smiled then, stretching out her hand. He stepped up and took it between his own, caressing the back of her hand with fondness.
“And… Merle” Beth added. The woman didn’t seem to understand at the beginning. Beth pointed at the eldest brother, and then, Mrs. Dixon seemed to be as lucid as any of them, for she turned around so brusquely Beth feared she had hurt herself.
“Merle?” she repeated with shaky voice. Merle shifted his weight from one foot to another, uncomfortable.
“Hey” he said, not approaching her. Beth couldn’t help but widen her smile: in these twenty-four hours she had shared a roof with Merle, the only thing she had figured out was his lack of shyness and how much he loved to talk, especially about himself. He was the opposite of Daryl.
The girl looked at him and intertwined her hand with Daryl’s. He returned her stare and kissed her on the temple, pressing her tightly to his side.
“I’m so sorry” the old woman said all of a sudden, her eyes shining with tears. She looked back and forth between her two sons, “If I could go back…”
“But you can’t” Merle interrupted her. Beth felt her heart squeezing painfully, afraid he might say something that would break his mother, “You can’t undo what he did to us”.
“Merle” his brother said as a warning, but Merle ignored him.
“You don’t have ta’ live everyday with-“
“Don’t” Beth cut him off, feeling furious. He raised his eyes, not believing it.
“What did you just say?”
“That’s enough” she kept going, not even flinching, “Wasn’t it bad enough? Didn’t you have hate for a lifetime to keep unburying all this shit?” Daryl was surprised to hear her cuss, but he didn’t stop her, “You have to… you have to put it away”.
Beth thought Merle would start insulting her and yelling at any time, but he didn’t. He just stared at her with a deep frown. Mrs. Dixon shed a silent tear, and then, Merle stormed out.
“Wait here” Daryl said, and he followed after his brother. Beth took the old woman’s hand, trying to calm her.
“Everything’s gonna be just fine. They’re here, okay?” she said, attempting to smile and failing.
Beth sighed while she waited for the cup of coffee to cool down in her hands. Rosita appeared behind her and squeezed her arm fondly.
“So you’ve finally bought a new coffee machine, haven’t you?” she asked, raising her cup so her friend could see it. Rosita laughed.
“Yeah, at least we got that. But, you know, nothing’s the same since…” Rosita stopped, and Beth was so glad for it. She wasn’t sure if she’d be able to talk about it yet, “So, we got back to work, everything’s fine… kinda. Well, excepting Lori, who’s been puking at home for two days” and she giggled, “That’s why I’m never gonna have kids”.
“We’ll see” Beth teased her. She smiled. That was so familiar that it was easy to pretend that nothing had happened and they were just two friends taking a coffee break.
“I noticed you’ve come here as a family visit. How was that?” Rosita asked. Beth took a sip of her coffee, burning her tongue so she would have some more time.
“It… happened” she just said. Rosita raised an eyebrow and Beth snorted, “Let’s just say that his brother is not really open, that’s it”.
“If I recall correctly, Daryl wasn’t a teddy bear either when you met him” her friend replied.
“But Daryl’s nothing like his brother. They’re like day and night. What am I supposed to do? Am I even supposed to anything?” Beth left her cup on the counter, “I don’t wanna meddle”.
“I think you’re as part as that family as any of those guys”, Rosita shrugged, “You took care of their mama for almost a year like she was your blood. Damn, you brought them together. Besides, you’ve already meddled a lot” she added.
“So tell me what to do” Beth sighed.
“Go step by step, learning every day. That Merle is your boyfriend’s brother, right?” Beth nodded, “So he’s your in-law, your family. You need to spend time with him and help him so he can see he has to leave all the bad things in the past”.
“That’s what I told him! But he stormed out and Daryl went after him and neither of them is back yet and…” she cut herself off, confused. She didn’t want to imagine a situation where Daryl had to choose. Rosita bent over the counter and nodded, thoughtful.
“Do you remember what you told Daryl every time he freaked out because you wanted him to be closer to his mom?”
Beth frowned, not following, but then she recalled.
“Time and patience” she muttered.
“Time and patience” Rosita repeated. She bent over more so she could kiss Beth’s cheek, “I gotta go. Call me later?”
Beth nodded, and soon Rosita had disappeared around the corner, leaving her alone with her thoughts.
She found Daryl outside a few minutes after, resting against the wall and smoking viciously. Beth knew he had heard her coming, but he didn’t acknowledge her, too focused on finishing one of many cigarettes. Beth leaned against the same wall, beside him, and she tried to take his smoke.
“What are you doin?” Daryl asked, moving it away from her. Beth shrugged.
“Can I have some?”
“You don’t smoke”.
“Nope” Beth shook her head, “But I used to when I was in college”, Daryl raised his eyebrows, “Sometimes. C’mon, I’m old enough”.
Daryl hesitated a bit before he gave in. Beth inhaled deeply, dropping her head against the wall.
“It went wrong?” she asked, exhaling the smoke. Daryl took the cigarette again and grumbled something, “Don’t hmpf me, Daryl” she giggled when Daryl tried to hold back a smile. That was some progress, “Tell me”.
“The jackass left. Who knows where is he gonna crash tonight. If he sleeps, that’s it. He just got out of jail, he’s no saint”.
Beth nodded but said nothing. It was Daryl’s turn to stare at her.
“You’re not gonna say anything?”
“I think you know what I’m thinking” she countered. Daryl took another puff, “I’ve been doing some thinking about other things too”.
“About what?” he encouraged her. Beth breathed in deeply.
“Just going to my parents’. I haven’t seen them in ages”.
“You should” Daryl answered. Beth moved away from the wall.
“I’ve also thought about moving back in my hometown” she added in a much quieter voice. Daryl threw the cigarette and stubbed it out with his boot, but he didn’t interrupt her, “I don’t wanna work here anymore. Too many things have happened to come back and pretend it’s all great. And… you know, you asked me when I was gonna start thinking about myself. I reckon now I am”.
“Running away?” he cut her off curtly. Beth frowned.
“No” she said, “After I tried to kill myself they wouldn’t let me breathe. That’s why I left in the first place, to clear my mind. But now I’m okay, I’m so much better, and I feel I don’t belong here. Does it make sense?” she asked, her heart thundering. She didn’t want to argue.
Daryl waited for a couple seconds before he nodded.
“’s your home” he stated.
“Yeah” she muttered, letting out a humorless laugh.
They kept silent for a few minutes before Beth spoke again.
“I don’t wanna ask you… I know everything in your family is upside down now and you’re just starting to spend time with your mom, and I know Merle needs you”.
“You know I’d go with you” Daryl muttered, not looking her in the eye.
“That’s why I can’t ask you” and she shrugged, like her heart wasn’t breaking in half, “We both have to put away things and solve our stuff, right?”
“Yeah, you’ve been procrastinating way longer than me” Daryl snorted, making her laugh.
“I’m not so good at following my own advice” she admitted. They moved closer and she wrapped her arms around his torso. Daryl put his hands on her waist and Beth leaned her forehead against him, “Don’t hook up with Rosita while I’m gone” she muttered. Daryl smiled and buried his face on her neck.
“Can’t promise anything” he replied, and this time they both bursted out laughing at the same time.
Beth wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, holding each other silently.
The car stopped and Beth got out. The porch’s lights turned on and she had to cover her eyes to try and see something.
“Bethy? Is that you?” she heard her dad’s voice. Beth nodded.
“Hi, daddy” she greeted him. Beth heard her mom gasp, and seconds later she was hugging her tightly, “Hi, mom” and melted into her arms, inhaling her home’s smell.
“You’re freezing, love” her mama scolded her fondly, “Come inside, I’ll make coffee”.
They climbed the staircase of the porch where Hershel waited for them. He hugged her as strongly as her mom.
“You didn’t tell us you were coming”.
“I wanted it to be a surprise” she explained as they went inside. She couldn’t help but look everywhere, feeling immediately at ease between those four walls covered in pictures, “but I arrived later than I expected” she added as she sat down in the kitchen table.
“Don’t you worry ‘bout that” her mom shook her hand, dismissing her, “Besides, we were watching TV”.
Beth smiled.
“So, Bethy, tell us” her dad sat down beside her, “How’s everything? You’re okay?”
She didn’t answer right away, and her parents stared at her, worried.
“Yeah”, she said, “I am now”.
The stacks of papers were dropped on the counter with a thud. The day had been hectic. Beth gave another form to one of the patients who were coming in and she hurried to help her partner.
“What’s with full moon nights that we have all these crazy people coming in?” Rachel murmured, giving her binders. Beth giggled.
“Werewolves transforming” she joked, and her partner laughed out loud.
“Talking about savage beasts, have you seen the guy with the knee injury?” and she pointed discretely at a boy sitting a few feet away, “He hasn’t looked away from you since he arrived. He’s handsome, right?”
Beth stopped a moment to watch him. Tall, strong, with dark blond hair. Definitely handsome. He was like the kind of guy Beth had always dated.
She shrugged.
“Not bad”.
“How demanding” Rachel teased her.
Hours later, when the light was starting to shine behind the buildings, Beth got in her car and drove back to the farm, feeling completely drained.
She had been working at the hospital for four months now, and she had been so busy she hadn’t unpacked her suitcase yet. A part of her knew that it was because it was like her only link to Newborn. She always felt this need to pack everything up again and come back, and she always backed up at the last minute.
Beth wondered if Daryl thought about her some time. They hadn’t spoken since she’d left. He had helped her pack her things, assured her he’d call her and he even kissed her before she got in her car, watching her leave. But then a month had gone by and Beth had been waiting by the phone long enough to realize that whatever they’d had was over. Daryl probably didn’t want to have a distance relationship with someone who may never get back. He had other things to talk about.
That’s what she told herself anyway. So she stood strong and got a job at the hospital and tried to get over her time in Newborn. She worked hard and made sure she could never get too distracted during the day, knowing that she’d be recalling everything in her head at night.
She drove slowly, enjoying the views while she got home. She loved arriving when it was dawning, the orange sky glowing while everything else was shadowy. However, Beth sighed in relief when she spotted the white farm at the end of the way. She was so exhausted she wouldn’t even shower before she collapsed into her bed.
It was then when she realized there was a pick-up truck parked in front of her house. She parked her own vehicle and got out, her heart hammering against her chest. She recognized the car registration immediately. Beth looked at the porch, and hurried inside the house.
“Hi? Mom? Dad?” she called them out, dropping her purse in the front door. She took off her jacket and started searching for them.
“We’re here, love” her mom said. Beth tried not to run towards the kitchen.
It seemed like it had been not even a day since the last time they saw each other, and still Beth couldn’t help but gasp when she found them: Daryl sitting at her kitchen table with her parents and having coffee.
Everyone turned around to look at her.
“We’re delighted to know your roommate Rosita” her daddy said, but there was no bite in his voice. Her mom held back a laugh. Daryl left the cup and looked at her, and Beth felt like she was unable to move. She just didn’t know what to say, her mind flooding with thoughts.
What are you doing here?
Why did you take so long?
What does this mean?
Why didn’t you call?
Did you meet someone else?
I met someone else. I’ve met a thousand other guys.
I’m great.
I’m a mess and I hate you didn’t call me and I hate how much you can affect me.
I’m great.
I still love you.
Do you?
“Hi” he said, standing up and walking to her. Beth opened her mouth, ready to speak her mind.
You owe me an explanation.
Or a kiss.
Or both.
I’m never sure of what we are.
But I know it now.
You are here.
With me.
“Hi” Beth answered.