Chapter Text
You were sprawled out on your bed, Dorian’s large frame blanketing yours. His hair was damp with sweat, eyes gazing down at you like prey. Yet, as his hand cupped your cheek, there was a gentleness in his touch; like you were actually cherished.
“You’d know all about being good, wouldn’t you, love?” Dorian’s voice purred low in your ear, hot breath tickling your senses and making you whine. “Come on, let me see all of you, yeah? Let me hear those sweet little sounds you make for me.”
Dorian’s hand crept lower, down your neck, down your chest, before gently taking your cock in his large hand. His touch, however, didn’t feel… real. Too cold, too weird, almost like nothing was touching-
You woke up with a flustered gasp. DAMMIT. Right when it was getting to the good part too.
Ever since you had met Dorian about a week ago, you’d been getting a lot of good sleep. There’s just something about his voice that could put you into a coma. But like, the good kind? Well, not just his voice, but something about his demeanour, He was gentle, yet gruff. Don’t even get started on how large he was. Of course, he was your door, so he’d have to be large enough to fit you, but still. Boy dinner, your mind helpfully supplied.
Safe to say, you were whipped. More whipped than you were for John Cost, and that’s fucking saying something. As you thought about Dorian, — and your very hot dream — you fell deeper into your pit of yearning. You couldn’t help but curse Tinfoilhat, since well, your door was the hottest man alive, and you couldn’t even bring him to life or anything. At least, you think so.
Instead, you were relegated to depending on how much battery the dateviators have. Even then, his touch didn’t feel like a human’s. It felt almost… ghostly. Not that he phased through you, but he didn’t feel real to touch.
You got up from bed, groaning at the delicious stretch of your arms. Lately, your bed has been a whole lot more comfortable. You suspect the reason might have something to do with how well acquainted you’ve gotten with Betty. Honestly, if you had to say, she made your pride flag come down to half-mast. She was just so… beautiful (Dorian was still hotter though).
As you sat in bed, you reflected on the past few days. Ever since you got the dateviators, your life has gotten a lot more interesting. And busy. And enjoyable. Seriously, why is your house so full of hotties? Well, unless you count the rat man and the dishwasher and… actually yeah there are some people you just- can’t.
Not to mention the MEN. Seriously, you wanted to get split like a fortune cookie between Kristof and Abel. Large men just- mmm. Your favourites were definitely Tony, Abel, and best of all, Dorian. I want his woo- WOAH. It was too early to get horny.
You got up from bed, scrubbing at your eyes. “Morning,” you called out to no one in particular. You grabbed the dateviators on your night stand and gently put them on, as Skylar jumped up into your vision.
“Morning, Human!” Skylar greeted, chipper as ever. “Let’s see… today, I need you to talk to your fridge. We need to get you on a better diet, because honestly?” Skylar got cut off by Phoenicia, “Your diet kinda sucks, human.” She gave you an unimpressed stare, before retreating back into her physical form.
Skylar cleared her throat, “Um, yeah. That. Anyway, you could spend the rest of the day speaking with anyone you wish. Maybe Dorian… or Tony, or hey, you could try your vacuum. Lord knows he needs a break.” Skylar smiled sadly, though you couldn’t pinpoint why.
“Uh… what do you mean? Am I mistreating my vacuum?”
There’s a tense silence, Skylar seeming to hesitate just a little. “Well… Hoove, he’s… He’s quite overworked, you know? It isn’t easy, cleaning up Grime Scenes for a living.” Skylar looks off to the side, getting this far-away look. Skylar shuddered, seeming to recall something pretty dreadful. Wonder what that’s all about… also, Grime Scene? Really?
You resolved to talk to Dorian first, then talk to your fridge, and after, your vacuum. From there, you might talk to TImothy, and finally Tony. God, Tony. He was such a himbo and honestly? He had a great rack. You wondered if he’d let you motorboat them. He’d already left you aching a few days ago.
You aimed the Dateviators at Bedroom Dorian, smiling from ear to ear. “Good morning, love.” Dorian smiled gently down at you, before hardening just a little. “What can I do for you today?” You smiled wider. He’s so sweet. UGH.
“Hey Dorian,” You greeted with a wave. “Nothing much, I just wanted to talk to you. How’s guarding the house been? Any of the dateables give you trouble?” You asked him, gently touching his arm.
(You didn’t really notice how Dorian sputtered, or how his cheeks nearly turned red, nor the tension that entered his posture.)
“Not really.” Dorian’s voice slightly cracked, and the tall man cleared his throat. “Tony’s still a pain in the arse, but I think you might already know that,” In more ways than one, you thought mischievously.
Dorian waved you off, “Have fun, love.” He then returns to his physical form, much to your disappointment. Please daddy, come back, you mock-plea internally. Okay, yeah, you were definitely whipped.
So, through the day, you met Freddy and Hoove, your very hot fridge and vacuum. More hot men to add to your harem, you mused.
(You didn’t notice how Dorian observed just out of view with a soft, fond smile, one that was very unusual for his aloof nature.)
Dorian sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. Christ, you were driving him the slightest bit mad.
The way you looked up at Freddy, flustered at the sheer size of the yeti (seriously, even Dorian had to crane his head back, and Dorian was tall).
The way you were oh-so gently concerned for Hoove. (Seriously, did you not notice how the man actually let you in? Dorian had barely even managed to crack the man in all his months of living here.)
Bedroom Dorian stood guard, witnessing Skylar bounce into his vision with a smile. “Heey Dorian!” She smiled, the slightest bit mischievous. Fucking hell. What now?
“Soo… how do you feel about the human?” Skylar asked him, blunt and straight-to-the point. Dorian was a bit taken aback. Skylar wasn’t usually this bold in her probing. “None of your business, Specs.”
Skylar huffed, rolling her eyes, “It IS my business because I am literally the dateviators. The human uses my battery talking to you and the rest of his army of hunks. Which they met through me.” She looked a little smug, adjusting her glasses before crossing her arms. Dorian scoffed at the sass.
“Well, he’s a bloody good friend. Happy?” Skylar nearly giggled in his face, and he noticed it too. Noticed how her shoulders twitched, and her lips pursed to the side, stifling laughter. “Okay, okay.” She said, clearly unconvinced about the friend part.
Dorian just grunted in response, rolling his eyes. Truth be told, you were bloody good, just not as a friend. A bloody good boy. Dorian had, over the week of speaking with you, let his thoughts wander more. No harm, no foul, he assured himself. Not like he’d ever confess to you.
To be frank, Dorian knew he didn’t deserve to have you. He wasn’t good enough for Keith; the man had even told him so, and now you? Sweet boy that you were? Dorian had a little performance anxiety, if he were honest.
With all the others you’ve met, they’ve been strong, (mostly) friendly personalities. While he’s just… Dorian. Your aloof, tall friend who, well, sure, might be your exact type, but that didn’t mean you’d like him.
What if you didn’t end up liking all of him? Keith had told him he was… difficult. That’s why only Keith could love someone like him. And, well, clearly you had enough on your plate with the five other guys that you’d met so far, not counting the other love interests you’d meet.
So with a heavy heart, Dorian kept watch through the night (even when Doug smirked at his misfortune).
Over the next few days, your crush on Dorian settled (not fully, no. You could never JUST ‘like’ him). He was actually a great friend, and, honestly, you’d be kind of (not really) content if you both stayed friends. He never showed any interest anyway, so it’s not like there was any potential there anyway.
Skylar told you you’d met more than half the man’s forms, to which you celebrated. Dorian’s forms were all pretty standard, run of the mill aside from so far only one. You still recall meeting Kitchen Dorian. The torture of holding in your laughter at the sight of Dorian’s usually tall and broad appearance being reduced to… well… a garden gnome.
God, maybe you were a little bad for thinking it, but he really did sound like a leprechaun or something. Maybe you wouldn’t have minded if it wasn’t for the bobble-head look he had going on. You still loved him either way, but… yeah, that image of him didn’t exactly make you hard. (Well, maybe if you put that big head to good use… nah.)
One day, however, you decided to talk to Attic Dorian, one of the remaining forms you hadn’t spoken to yet. When you do so, you find yourself standing a little too close to the door, face to face with his muscular arms, crossed over his chest.
Your face flushed as you slowly (hesitantly, but no one could waterboard that out of you,) backed away from Attic Dorian. Helloooo Sailor.
“Uh, hey, Dorian!” You smiled shakily, still trying to not appear outwardly flustered by Dorian’s sheer size. You swore you’d never get used to it.
“Hey dove.” He smiled a little softly, but then his expression became stony, much like when you first met (or well, when you first met him. “I’m afraid I can’t let you pass. See when my arms are crossed like this? Means I’m locked.”
You look confusedly up at him, before maneuvering around his large frame and trying the door handle. Huh. Locked. Dorian stifles a groan, given your confused jingling of his handle. Made his other handle jingle too, but that’s neither here nor there.
“Well, where’d I put the key?” You ask him, fluttering your lashes in a hopeful, silly way. Dorian stifled a chuckle, “Well… I don’t know. You were the one that left the… key.” Dorian seems to look a little less composed when he says it, but it’s just the trick of your eye. Right?
“Fine. I’ll go look around, see if there’s anything I might’ve missed. Think you’ve got it in you to help? I know talking to me through the dateviators is pretty tiring…” You said, voice trailing off into a quieter tone.
Truth is, you didn’t want to ask much of Dorian. He didn’t owe you his time, and honestly, you were probably not even good enough for him. Ooo, insecurity. Yeah, that was one of the things that made its way back into your mind, now that the dateviators weren’t as new as they were.
Even with Tony, who had a surprising way of bringing you out of your shell, you still felt like a burden sometimes. You supposed it was just how you lived life.
“Eh, it’s quite alright love. I don’t mind.” Dorian smiled down at you, genuine and breathtaking. If only he knew how bad you were, then he wouldn’t be as kind.
Your heart constricted, but you brushed it off, putting on the cheery mask you used with your friends. It was warm. “Okay then, see you soon, Dorian!” You smiled a little tensely, before stalking off into your office. Surely Jerry would know where you put it. Oh, maybe Koa, too.
Talking with Jerry, Koa, and Maggie ended up a bust. Maggie had seemed a little unfocused during your conversation, consumed by a case with the codename “Claire.” You reckon it might have something to do with the “Sinclaire” Dorian had mentioned.
Stumped, you ventured into your office closet, the one room in the house you hadn’t used the dateviators on just yet. You didn’t bother using the dateviators on the trap door and the closet door itself, deciding to leave it for later. (You did not notice Dorian’s sigh of both relief and disappointment.)
Inside the crawlspace, you had found Keith. Hoo boy. Keith. Skylar’s alarm bells immediately rang, sending you multiple notifications through the dateviators. Woah, what’s wrong? Why is she freaking out?
“Human! Human!” Skylar’s alarmed voice rang in your ears. “Hey! Soo! Remember the Content Aware I gave you for Jerry? Well…” You nodded, confused. “Um, well, Keith is… Look, this is kind of a spoiler, but…” You nodded more eagerly now, wanting to know. “He’s basically a master manipulator.”
You gasped, glancing at Keith, who seemed confused and a bit worried by your reaction. You swallowed, before nodding. “Yeah, um, sure. I… just, carry on.” Skylar stared at you for a little, eyes searching yours. She hummed, and disappeared back into her physical form.
From how Keith had talked with you, it seemed he couldn’t have heard Skylar or her Content Aware mention.
Your interaction with Keith was short-lived, and you could tell, by his off-handed yet weirdly fond mention of Dorian, that those two had been something. Friends, foes, lovers? You weren’t sure, but you really didn’t want to find out. This is like, the only time I do NOT want old man yaoi.
With a heavy sigh, you made your way back up to the attic door, a bad, bad feeling creeping up your spine. You contemplated forgoing the dateviators, knowing that there would be some seriously homosexual shenanigans.
You decided to talk to attic Dorian, however, when the lock just wouldn’t budge. “Dorian. Open up. I have your situationship.” You said, voice oozing an air of being done with it all. Dorian sputtered, looking down at you confused. Keith jumped out of your pocket, like the eager little shit he was.
“Hello old friend! It is me, alright.” Keith’s voice was enthusiastic, if not a little grating on your ears. You still couldn’t believe the man was (allegedly, though Skylar had never proved herself to be wrong) a master manipulator.
“Where on earth have you been?” Dorian’s voice was a little less friendly than you expected it to be. His arms remained crossed.
“I have been, eh, tucked away with my thoughts, you might say,” god, Keith’s weird way of toning his voice made you want to strangle him. It was performative.
“I never knew why you left,” Dorian ran a hand through his hair, his expression unreadable. He sighed, his eyes meeting Keith’s once more. “I’m sorry I never said goodbye,” Keith spoke.º You doubt that, “I never had the chance.” Maybe you believed that. Probably not.
“Well… I…” Dorian hesitated, glancing at you briefly before responding, “I guess I’ve missed you.” He gritted it out, trying to not sound bitter towards Keith.
Keith cleared his throat, glancing to the side. “I’ve… missed you too, dearest Dorian. Now, um, come here and give me a hug!” It was funny, the way he tried to steer the conversation back to something manageable for him.
There was an uncomfortable pause. It felt like minutes before Dorian answered, his voice low and uncomfortable, “fine.” Keith curled his arms around Dorian, and the man tensed. Dorian returned the hug, though it was a slow, hesitant thing.
Several seconds passed of them just doing that. It was uncomfortable, to say the least. Keith pat Dorian’s back slowly, his expression uncomfortably cheery. You couldn’t help but cringe, turning to look away. Oh god. I should leave. This is so fucking weird. You barely noticed the whispers Keith spoke in Dorian’s ear.
Past the cringe, however, a jealous part of you piped up, upset. Why had Dorian not told about this Keith guy? Scenarios ran through your head, of Keith worming his way into Dorian’s heart like a fucking pest-
When they disentangled, Dorian looked slightly squeamish. You piped up, trying to be cheery, “Well, um, you’re open now, Dorian.” The way you said it was lame, really. Dorian turned to you, and just stared, eyes searching for answers you couldn’t give.
You practically tore off the dateviators, stuffing them in your pocket and opening your attic door. You looked around, trying to see any potential dateables, before the door was promptly shut. You felt exhausted, limbs made of lead and eyes drooping. You’d deal with the dateables residing here later, but right now? Betty called to you, and who were you to deny her?
The memory was clear as day, replaying in Dorian’s head ever since he had the conversation, “Look, Dori,” Amir spoke up, crossing his arms much like Dorian, “I’ve been trying to be patient, and I know you have some unresolved things with ‘Keith,’ but I’m gonna be upfront; Keith, is not worth your time.”
Amir’s eyes narrowed, an intense flame inside them, much like Reggie, “He hurt you, Dorian. He’s clearly a manipulator, and if you’re seriously considering this thing with the human — don’t make that face, I can tell — then you need to get over him.” Amir softened then, grabbing Dorian’s hands.
“I’m rooting for you, Dorian. We all are. The human is clearly into you, and if you let this thing with Keith keep festering, the end result won’t be good.” Arms wrapped around Dorian, patting his back, before Amir disentangled from him, smiling.
Dorian turned to face Keith, a little uncomfortable, “Er… Hello, Keith.” He shifted from foot to foot, eyes darting down to the older key’s. Sweat dampened his palms as he tried his best to appear stoic.
“Hello, dearest Dorian.” There it was. That undertone of ‘listen to me’. He knew it all too well, had heard it many times many years ago. “I’ve… been reflecting.” It was a low whisper.
“I- I’m sorry for how I treated you, dearest. It wasn’t right of me to act like that. Forgive me, please..” Dorian’s head eyes darted to Keith’s, surprised.
After all this time, he’s sorry? Doesn’t he- fuck. He’s actually sorry, isn’t he? After telling me that I’m nothing without him, and he’s… It, it doesn’t make sense. Amir had told me, though, didn’t he?
Keith smiled, and though it reached his eyes, it felt fabricated.
Oh.
Dorian’s face fell, though it was quickly masked yet again by a calm veil. “I forgive you, Keith.” Dorian said, turning to look away. Come on, just leave already. I’ve got someone more important to worry about.
Keith perked up at that, a little confused. “R-really? Well, er, would you… like to be friends again? Maybe more?” His voice was slightly hopeful, though there was something off about it. Christ, how had he not noticed earlier?
Dorian shook his head.
“So that’s it? We spent a few years apart and all of the sudden you’re too good for me? Don’t forget who completed you, who made you worth anything!” Keith snapped, seeming to tower over Dorian even though he was shorter.
Keith’s loud anger awakened some of the other objects around, Abel awakened from his physical form, clearly concerned. “Er… Dorian?” Abel asked, looking down at Keith with a stern look, “Is everything alright here?”
“Er… hello, Abel.” Keith smiled, nervous. “I was just… uh…” Keith started visibly sweating, eyes darting from side to side in a panicked motion. Keith cursed, realizing that he’d been caught. In the past, he usually kept his anger quiet; reserved for late nights where objects were at The Breaker Box or asleep.
Dorian steeled himself, preparing to say (second-hardest) words of his life. Truthfully, this was something that was a long time coming, especially since you came into his life, filling the gaping wounds Keith left in his absence. With his resolve strong as ever and finality in his voice, he spoke.
“We’re done here, Keith.”