Chapter Text
The moment her best friend started talking to the new transfer student, Nick, Stacy knew shit was going to hit the fan.
To begin, Erica didn't like it one bit. She started calling him all sorts of racist slurs, until Kylie got so fed up she punched her in the nose, spilling blood. It was shocking, Erica sitting on her ass on the ground with two streams of red running down her lips and chin, but before anyone could offer walking her to the infirmary, she got up and booked it to god knows where.
That afternoon, Nick opened his bag and his books were splattered with blood. Coincidentally, Erica was missing during lunch.
***
During their shared sixth period, she walked in class with two cotton balls stuffing her nose. She sucked up the attention of everyone who asked, before dropping down on the seat next to Kenna, one table away from Kylie.
It almost looked like she would give her assailant the cold shoulder, until Nick walked in, spotted Kylie and quickly made his way to the table behind her.
"Wow, wow, are you a peeping tom? Why are you sitting behind a bunch of girls?" Erica called out so the whole class could hear, her voice slightly nasal from the cotton in her nose.
Nick, humiliated, got up and moved to the front, away from Kylie.
Stacy didn't need to look at her best friend to know she was giving Erica the stink-eye.
"What? I was just protecting our honor," Erica replied innocently to the stink-eye in question.
Kenna giggled, while Kylie rolled her eyes to the sky.
"Stop posturing, Cartman. You don't even care about your own honor."
"Hey!"
***
When being racist was out of the option, Erica moved on to red-pilled slurs, calling Nick 50 synonyms of incel. When that didn't move Kylie either, she settled on girl paranoia.
"Can't you see? He just wants to fuck you!" She shouted on their way to their last class, not caring that it made everyone stare at them.
Kylie glared at her. "What if I want to get fucked, huh?"
That shut Erica up real quick.
"But what about your study?"
Kylie barked out a laugh. "It's just fucking. How long does it take for people to fuck?"
Her voice took on a bitter note. "How long did it take for you and Henry to fuck? I remember you said two hours. Let's say it's the same for me and Nick. Then it's just two hours deducted from my evening each day. That's manageable."
Kenna made a muffled gasp. Erica spluttered like a fish. Stacy just sighed, having expected this outcome from the start.
Kylie never really got over that time Erica dated a boy for 3 months when they were 10. Just last week, she tore apart the now 16 year old Henry behind the privacy of Stacy's bedroom, where she didn't have to keep up the reputation of being a nice, serious individual. She had been doing that every week for the last 6 years and even made sure to keep tab on him so her roast was up to date.
For a moment, Stacy felt for poor Nick, who was on a fast track to becoming Kylie's long-awaited payback.
***
For the last period, Stacy, Kenna and Erica all shared a class, while Kylie had a free period. Usually, she would spend that period waiting for her friends so they could take the bus home together, but that day she texted her super best friend saying she needed to leave early for a dentist appointment.
Not wanting Erica to make a fuss, Stacy kept quiet until they got to the bus.
"Where's the fucking Jew," the chubby girl kept asking, all while her eyes dashed around looking for the green ushanka.
"She went home early," Stacy finally dropped the bomb.
Erica's head whipped to face her. "What?! Why?"
"Dentist appointment."
"And you believe that?"
Stacy pinched the bridge of her nose. She could feel the eyes of the impatient people behind them boring into the back of her head.
"Erica, can we please continue inside the bus? There's a line behind us."
"Oh." Erica cocked her head and saw the line accumulating behind Kenna. The corner of her lips quirked up. She gave the line a middle finger before getting on.
"Girls, let's all come over to Kylie's," Erica said as soon as the three of them piled into the very back seat, where there was space for her to put her feet up.
Kenna said "Okay" at the same time Stacy asked "Why?"
"Why not? She's our friend."
It didn't take a genius to tell Erica just wanted to make sure that Kylie wasn't secretly making out with Nick.
Stacy went along anyway, because Kylie's strict parents always became magically nicer when their daughter's friends were around.
***
Her theory was further solidified when Erica lead them to the Broflovski's back door instead of front door.
"Ken, Stace, gimme a hand," she said while looking at the second floor window.
Stacey sighed. "Can't we just go through the front door like normal people? I'm wearing a skirt."
Erica didn't look away from the window as she replied. "Don't worry, Stace, no one wants to look up your skirt except for Wendell. Also, I don't like Kylie's bitch mom. She's so fucking fake."
Stacy held in the retort that had been rolling on her tongue every time Erica called Sheila a bitch, that she would one day be her mother-in-law. Also, who is Erica to call people fake when she's the best actress Stacy knew?
Anyway, it was clear that dissuading her is not an option and leaving her alone to fall to her death, therefore breaking Kylie's heart, is not an option either.
Begrudgingly, Stacy and Ken obliged her. They pushed her up the tree right by the window, where she walked onto the ledge, shimmied herself until she was face to face with the glass and knocked.
A few seconds later, one side opened. Kylie's hastily covered head poked out and she looked down, seeing her other two best friends. Her bushy brows drew up in a frown.
"Can't you just use the front door like normal people?"
That's what Stacy just said. She shook her head, her hand pointing to the fat girl. "Nope. She insisted."
"What the fuck, Erica," Kylie cursed under her breath, yet stood aside for her to climb in anyway.
Erica slipped a little, and Kylie's hands immediately shot out to catch her. Even with limited view, Stacy could tell that their faces were inches apart at most. The uncharacteristic silence from her usually loud friends proved it.
Turning to Kenna, she gave a knowing look. Kenna giggled.
Both of them knew every single one of Erica and Kylie's problems could be solved if they just touch lips. Except, they were stubborn bitches who would rather play the lesbian tug of war for years rather than admit they have flaming, homosexual feelings for one another. It was 10% fun, 90% annoying for the other people involved.
Unsurprisingly, they didn't kiss this time either. Kylie just pulled Erica in, then poked her head out of the window again.
"Girls, do you want me to throw you a rope?"
"We'll just use the front door, thanks."
***
As expected, Sheila was thrilled to see Kylie's two nicer best friends coming to visit her. She made the girls wait by the kitchen doorway until she came back with two plates of sliced fruits and two plates of sugar-free cake, as well as showering them with a thousand questions about school and their families.
By the time Stacy and Kenna made it to Kylie's room, at least 10 minutes had passed. Kylie's room wasn't locked, as mandated by her mom, and the two girls didn't have a free hand between them, so Kenna just pushed the door open with her leg.
The murmurs inside immediately stopped. On the bed, an ushanka-less Kylie sat with her legs folded, while Erica lied next to her, using one of her thighs as a pillow.
It was all so painfully lesbian Stacy felt awkward, like they had intruded on a private moment.
They definitely did, because Kylie sat up so quickly the fat girl was thrown off. Having lost her pillow, Erica squawked in protest.
"What do you want to do, girls?" Kylie said nervously, as if her friends were blind and couldn't see that she wanted to do nothing more than continuing whispering sweet nothing with Erica on her lap.
"Let's play truth or dare." Kenna perked up, her voice muffled through her orange parka.
Kylie frowned. "But we're not at a party."
"You're so fucking lame, Jew bitch. It's just a game. Who said we have to be at a party to play truth or dare?"
Kylie smacked her. Stacy tried not to notice, she really did, but her eyes couldn't help but zero on the way her best friend's hand lingered on the place she just hurt. To make it worse, Erica was staring at it too, her mismatched eyes clearly mesmerized.
"Okay, but don't be too adventurous, okay? My parents are downstairs, and Ike is right next door," Kylie said, at last.
Kenna and Stacy shared a look.
Aren't they lucky confessing and kissing are pretty much silent activities?
***
To determine who go first, the four of them played rock-paper-scissors. As fate would have it, Erica went first.
"Dare. Kenna, I dare you to show Ike your boobs."
Kylie shot that down instantly. "I said not to involve my brother!"
Erica sighed in disappointment. Then, she put her fingers on her chin, her stance for pretending to be deep in thought. "Okay. Ken, truth. How many people did you sleep with?"
"In our high school only," she added, just in case the number became unfathomable.
"Three."
Everyone gasped. Out of the four of them, Kenna was the thirstiest. She was the first to see an adult penis, and was addicted to washboard abs by the age of 10. From how she talked about the male population of North Park, one would have thought she had tasted them all.
"You're lyin'. You're a hoe, Ken, how the fuck did you only sleep with three people?"
Kenna shrugged. "Just because I'm a hoe doesn't mean I don't have standards."
"That's another lie. Don't forget we're playing truth and dare, not lie and be a pussy, guys."
Kylie snorted a laugh that she poorly hid.
"Girl you're the liar and pussy," Kenna retorted, but since her voice was muffled, Erica just ignored her in favor of playing with Kylie's hair.
Annoyed, Kenna cleared her throat. "Kylie, dare. Give Erica a kiss on the cheek."
Kylie spluttered and leaned away, not caring that by doing so she lost a few hair.
Erica, ever the opportunist, pointed to a spot just above her lips. "Do it here."
Kylie sweated. "Uh, what will happen if I don't want to do a dare?"
"You pay us 50 bucks." Stacy made up an answer.
"Each," Kenna added, when Kylie got up with too little hesitance.
She immediately stopped in her tracks, her face scrunching up in protest. Kenna shrugged.
Either that or a kiss, Kylie.
"Okay." Kylie said and resumed her way to her closet. A second later, there was the sound of coins shuffling around a piggy bank.
Erica sat there, hunched, a pout on her lips. "It's just a kiss on the cheek, Kyeleh. What happened to being a good SJW feminazi and saying no to homophobia?"
Kyle sat down and intentionally put both bills in front of Kenna. "Feminism and homophobia are separate issues."
"Yeah? It pained me that you don't know about intersectionality despite claiming to be a feminist intellectual. Homophobia stems partly from misogyny-"
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that if you let Kylie and Erica debate social issues they can and will do it for an entire week. They'll be in each other's faces all the time and it will devolve into violence at some point but they won't kiss, and their friends wanted them to kiss now.
Ever the quick-thinking one, Stacy cleared her throat so hard it turned into an actual fit of coughing. While Kenna patted her back, Kylie got up and poured her a glass of water, which Stacy accepted and drank. Still worried, she walked over to check on her.
Her side now empty, Erica threw a fit.
"Jesus fuck, can't you see Kenna is patting her back?! I know your lesbian super best friendship is so strong it defies common sense but can you literally not see?!"
Everyone stopped what they were doing to turn to her. Erica's face was scrunched up and slightly red. Her eyes were ablaze as they set on the only Jew in the room.
The tension between them was thick like a orange, white and pink block of play-doh. One could cut it with a knife. Stacy and Kenna held their breath.
There was no way back now. Kylie and Erica was either going to fight or kiss. Or both.
Slowly, Kylie stood up.
She ambled to Erica's side, and sat down. On her way down, she smacked Erica on the arm, mumbling "fuck you", yet it sounded feeble and a little fond.
Stacy wrinkled her nose in disgust.
Clearing her throat, she tried to not sound disappointed as she change the topic. "Anyway, moving on. Kylie, who do you chose?"
Kylie looked around. The moment her eyes landed on an expectant Erica, she hurriedly looked away.
"Stacy," she muttered.
Stacy sighed loudly. At the same time, Erica howled "Fuck, why!"
"It's my turn, I can choose whoever the fuck I want, okay?" Kylie explained, the irritation in her voice unconvincing. She was also sitting with her arms hugging her knees, trying to make herself smaller although she's the tallest in the room.
She's scared, for reasons beyond her friends' comprehension. Their group, no, their entire school knew she and Erica were terribly lesbian for each other. Only Nick didn't because he was new.
"Okay." Stacy nodded, instinctively supportive. "Do you want me to do truth or dare?"
Kylie swallowed, her arms still encircling her knees tightly.
"I can choose if you want?" Stacy threw her a lifeline.
Her best friend immediately nodded.
Erica, however, wasn't okay with that.
"What's the point of truth or dare if the slave get to choose?" She whined.
"Do you want to choose instead, fat ass, since you have so many opinions about it?" Kylie snapped.
That was the wrong thing to say. Erica's eyes lit up, making Stacy fear for her life.
Erica wouldn't dare her to jump out of the window or something similarly suicidal and throw out 16 years of friendship, right?
To build up anticipation (and dread), she cleared her throat a few times. Stacy drew a cross on her chest, in case God was feeling merciful.
"Okay..."
"Stacey, I dare you to tell the room the truth about your feelings for Kylie."
Both Stacy and Kylie's jaws dropped. Kenna's jaw probably dropped too but the parka covered it.
"We don't-"
"I'm dating Wendell-"
"Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you can't cheat," Erica shrugged.
"Stacy's not a cheater-"
"I'm not a cheater-"
"Your lesbian relationship says otherwise," Erica retorted without missing a beat, an unreadable smile on her face.
"Stop saying we have a lesbian relationship! She's just my friend!"
"Denying only makes you look guiltier, Kyeleh."
Exasperated, Kylie gave up, holding her head in her hands. Pleased that her bullshit had defeated her, Erica turned to Stacy.
"Hey Stace, your silence is deafening. I dared you, not your girlfriend."
"Erica, I literally have a boyfriend. I don't know what you want me to say."
"That you're in love with Kylie."
"As a friend, sure."
"Nuh-uh, stop lying bitch."
Before anyone could say anything, the windows were thrown opened. Kenna stood in front of it with her back to them. Without warning, she climbed over and let herself fall. The muted thud of her body hitting the ground was what it took for everyone to finally start moving.
Kylie, Stacy and Erica ran to the window to look. On the grass lied their friend, the blood a halo radiating from her head. She had landed on her head and died on impact.
"Oh my god, Erica's bullshit killed Kenna."
"You bastard!"