Chapter Text
James loved his job as an actor, but not because it was exciting all the time, or because he loved the flash of the camera. Not because he liked getting stopped on the street and asked about his personal life. Because he could make a difference in the world through his performance and through his presence in real life. He had a voice, and people were willing to listen; and that was worth something.
Interviews, plastered on smiles, and hiding from crowds. James was in the same place he often found himself, but this time, he had Regulus by his side.
“This kind of feels like the day we met,” Regulus said quietly.
“Yeah, but that day, I was searching the crowd to find anyone who didn’t have a camera and a million questions at hand. Today, I have you.”
Regulus rolled his eyes. “Such a sap.”
James shrugged. Maybe that was true, but James didn’t mind the label. “I’m just being honest.”
Regulus tensed. “Heads up, cold-faced bitch up ahead.”
James frowned, looking away from Regulus to scan the crowd. Oh, Reeta Skeeter. “Look away now, if she catches your eye, you’re done for. I speak from experience.”
Regulus obeyed, turning his head back to James. “I don’t want to talk to her.”
James let a thought simmer over his head. “Let’s find Lily.”
Regulus shrugged, “Okay.”
It didn’t take long to scope the girl out. Everyone else at the event looked boring, and she was wearing bright red to contrast with her eyes. It was striking, and James had to admit the version of him that had been in love with her would have keeled over at the sight. Not now, though. It was strange how many things could change.
James tugged on Regulus’s arm lightly, leading him toward Lily. Regulus followed. There was something intimate between each time they touched– in a sweet sort of way. Like even in the rush of that moment, James could find the time to slow his mind down and feel Regulus next to him.
Lily caught his eye from across the room, and she smiled, eyes flickering between him and Regulus. He wondered what was going through her mind as she came closer. She seemed content with something, and it was throwing James off.
Nevertheless, he wanted to go through with his plan. “Hey Lily,” James said, extending the word ‘hey’. Regulus met James at his side, and he could feel him looking at him speculatively.
Lily squinted. “What do you want?”
“Yeah, what do you want?” Regulus leaned into James on his right, as if to say: I’m not mad, just curious.
James sighed, hand reaching Regulus’s back, welcoming him in. “Do you remember the premiere and what you promised we’d do after?” James asked nervously. They never did smoke afterward. James was too focused on Regulus.
Lily’s eyes widened. “Not tonight, James, are you kidding?” Lily scolded.
“You promised me like a month ago, and this is just some random red carpet. It’s not that big of a deal.”
“Yeah, but you’re supposed to be redeeming ourselves for a month of crazy press. That is not redeeming behavior.”
“Okay, seriously, what the fuck is happening?” Regulus asked.
Lily sighed. “Your boyfriend wants to smoke weed with me.”
“And obviously you're invited, too,” James rushed to add.”
Lily rolled her eyes. “No one’s invited because it’s not happening today. Maybe like, tomorrow, or any other day than today.”
“No, it only works at events like this.”
Regulus turned to look at James, “James… do you know anything about weed in the first place?”
“Of course I do!”
“No, you don’t. You called smoking ‘sharing a stick’.” Lily said.
James felt embarrassment rush over him as he felt Regulus’s shoulders begin to shake on the side of his body. “You’re joking,” Regulus said, and Lily just shook her head. This only seemed to entertain Regulus further. “Oh, Jamie, that’s fucking precious.”
“Fuck you, Regulus.” James pouted.
Regulus cleared his throat. “Well… we already did that, so…”
Lily burst out laughing, walking toward Regulus and resting a hand on his shoulder. “I like you better than Sirius. You actually make fun of James.”
“Hey, what the hell?! There’s a James-hate alliance now?!” James frowned, eyeing the two of them.
“Hell yes. James Potter hate club: starring his boyfriend and his co-star.” Lily said, grinning.
“Jesus Christ, you’re turning him against me.”
Regulus grinned, “Don’t worry, James, I’m still yours.”
“Mhm, a hate club really solidifies that.”
“Well, you three seem to be having fun! Lily, I would think your relationship with Regulus wouldn’t be so… friendly,” She came out of nowhere. Reeta, in the flesh. Behind her, a cameraman. Great, just when James was starting to be in a good mood.
“My relationship with Regulus is great, seeing as I never dated James, and I’m happy that he’s found love,” Lily shot back. No niceness or beating around the bush. Lily always had that sort of fire to her, even with PR training.
Rita only smiled, nodding. “Right, well, we’re on live!” She sang, as if that would change Lily’s attitude. So, um, Regulus, we haven’t seen much of you, handsome. Tell me what it’s like for you to be with James.”
Regulus pulled himself closer to James in a semi-protective way. “Don’t know what you want me to say. It’s great, that’s why I’m with him.” Regulus didn’t have a fir; he had a cold, calculating tone that gave people like Rita Skeeter frostbite.
Rita only smiled wider. James could picture what was going through her mind. She was thinking through future comment sections of the videos clipping this part of the live.
Oh, they hate her.
Why can’t reporters see when they’re just making a celebrity uncomfortable?
I never liked rita skeeter… lmao obviously they don’t either.
It dawned on James that maybe this controversy could start to lean into the territory of canceling Rita. He didn’t feel bad. It would be a forgotten controversy quickly enough, anyway, and she needed to be humbled. In fact, a part of James was enjoying the thought of it. Rita Skeeter is being put in her place for the first time.
Rita sighed, “Well, the two of you are quite the pair! Who would’ve thought Lily Evans and Regulus Black would have the same energy about them?! Seems someone has a type…” She ended her sentence in another sing-songy tone. James hated how often she did that. “James, is it weird to see the two of them interact?”
“Not at all! Lily’s my friend, it’s only natural that she meets my boyfriend.” James tried to sound nice, but even he could hear how fake he sounded.
Rita hummed, her smile finally fading. She wanted more. Something she could pry out of them– to change the focus from being on their dislike for her to anything going wrong between the three of them. Any bad blood or disconnect. She wanted drama, and none of them were willing to give her any. It was a stubborn battle, and James was sure that they would win. She cleared her throat anyway. “You guys are quite the group! I can’t help but think one person is missing. Your best friends, and Regulus’s brother, Sirius Black. Why isn’t he here tonight?”
Regulus stepped forward. “There’s a party he’s hosting later tonight, so he’s busy, but we’re going to that.”
James looked at Regulus. He hadn’t heard about this party, which probably meant Regulus was lying, but it was such a good cover story. A way to prove that James and Regulus were on good terms with Sirius without him being there. Not that the state of James and Regulus’s relationship with him was in a bad state, it was true he didn’t know they were together yet, but still, Sirius hadn’t come because he wasn’t invited, as it wasn’t the kind of event he cared to be invited to. That just wasn’t a good cover story. It wasn’t enough to please the masses. Something Regulus was apparently privy to. Probably a result of his bad childhood and all the lies he had to tell.
That made James think that he still had more to learn about Regulus. He still wanted so much more. He wanted all of him.
Rita’s face brightened. “A party! Is there an occasion?”
James shrugged. “You know Sirius. He likes to have fun.”
Rita squinted. “You know, it’s strange that you and Regulus became a pair. Out of the Black brothers, Sirius was always your close friend.”
Holy shit, this woman wouldn’t let it rest. James wasn’t even sure how to react. Thankfully, Regulus did before he had to. Excuse me? Are you implying my boyfriend wants my brother?”
Rita laughed awkwardly. She had some secret weapon she was waiting to whip out. This was her moment. “Not necessarily, it just seems the two of you found love in an… inorganic way. Out of the blue, no hints of a relationship before this all went down. Many fans have claimed there’s something… off.”
“I’m sorry, but this is extremely inappropriate,” Lily interrupted. She was getting more defensive.
Rita ignored her. And then, last night, I received evidence of an NDA. Surely, I thought it was fabricated, but James, and of course, Regulus, your signatures were on there.” Apparently, James was completely blindsided by what was actually going through her mind. The final blow. The kill shot. “The NDA was determining the terms and conditions of your… fake relationship.”
It was Regulus that was the first to react. “We’re not here to play your games, Rita. Who was the first person to release anything about the two of us? You. Who has been digging for anything that destroys a person in the past years you’ve had this job? You. James and I are together. Point, blank, period.”
Regulus was technically telling the truth. They were together, but the NDA was true to, and Rita couldn’t be bluffing. She had to have evidence. James knew this. He could feel it, so he decided not to lie anymore. “We weren’t always.” He said. The impact of the moment settled into his bones. The truth. Dark, and ugly, and out for the world to hear. Rita had a sinister look about her. She was getting what she wanted. Not for long, James thought. “We weren’t always…” James said, stepping in to face the camera. “This relationship was forced on us because of Rita and her love for spreading false information. I don’t deny that we signed NDA’s, and we started all of this off fake, but then Regulus kissed me at the museum. And told me about his passions, and brought me ot his favorite places, and that was real. I don’t care about the rest of the world and its opinions, because that was real, and I fell in love. And now, we are together, so you can suck on that for all I care. You can cancel me, or her, or whoever. Sent may be my last ever movie, and I wouldn’t mind, because I have the people who really matter in my life, and that isn’t you, Dumbledore, because I know you’re watching, and that certainly isn’t Rita Skeeter. It’s people like Regulus, Lily, and Sirius. It’s the people who actually know me. So the rest of you can fuck off.”
Silence followed. James didn’t wait long for a response before he grabbed Regulus’s arm. Regulus, who was looking at him with a sort of awe that James had never seen him have before. “Wanna get out of here?” He said, under his breath, only for Regulus to hear.
Regulus smiled, "I'll go anywhere with you, always.”
James felt himself swoon at that. Regulus could be one hell of a romantic.
Anywhere was apparently Regulus’s house, to get high. She’d said they earned it. James was just shocked she had such a little reaction to the whole our-relationship-was-fake-but-now-it's-not thing.
She wasn’t angry at all. She was just taking more hits. James frowned, but it was mixed with a breathy laugh that made it lose its impact. “Oh, Lils, maybe not another one. I’m already on top of the moon.”
Lily rolled her eyes. “You’re evidently a lightweight. I’m not.”
James’s phone was buzzing again as he started to giggle. “I’m not a lightweight.”
Regulus was by his side, laughing, too. “Yes, the fuck you are.” He claimed, kissing his shoulder. “You should check that. He said, eyes lingering on James’s phone, which was sitting on the other side of him.
James listened to Regulus. Picking up the phone. It was fucking Dumbledore. “Hi, Albus,” James said, voice rising to a pitch he didn’t know he was capable of. That made Regulus laugh. He liked seeing Regulus laugh, so he decided he’d continue using that pitch, “‘m not going to apologize.”
Dumbledore sighed through the phone. “Intoxicated, are we?”
“No, I would never,” James rolled his eyes.
“There was a press release just a few minutes ago of you and Regulus… in a car together outside of a gas station. And before that. Well, I am certain you are aware of your actions today. I have been trying to reach you all–”
“Okay,” James interrupted, uninterested. “I don’t care.”
“Mr. Potter–”
“No, fuck you, Albus. All you care about is what everyone else thinks, and that’s my whole fuckin’ point. I’m firing you.”
Lily gasped from across the room. “James–”
“No, Lily, I don’t care.”
“You realize that I could take serious legal action—”
James probably wouldn't have been this brave if he hadn't felt so untouchable in that moment. Maybe it was the weed, but he didn't stop to think about his actions as he interrupted Albus. “I. Don’t. Care.”
Two hours later, James was at home, alone. James wasn’t sure how they’d caught wind of James’s whereabouts, but Sirius and Remus had shown up, driving him and Lily home. Sirius stayed to take care of Regulus. He claimed he wasn’t letting Regulus do anything under the influence with James. Remus drove Lily home first. Not to her house, though, to Mary’s, so she’d be taken care of. James could cry; he was so happy for her. And he professed that, but his unusual level of sobriety was definitely mixing with his normal style of communication, and it was just making Remus laugh. A laugh that made James miss Regulus’s laugh.
James frowned because he was serious. Intoxicated or not. “I really am proud of you, though.”
“I know, James.” Lily grinned.
Once Lily was out of the car, James groaned. “I’m angry, Remus.”
“At what, James?”
“The world,” He shrugged. “I want Regulus so much. I want him more and more. I don’t care about anybody else’s opinions on the matter, but they act like I should care. Fuck you.”
Remus sighed. “Yeah, that’s the problem with being famous.”
James shook his head. “No, I've been thinking.”
“That’s never good,” Remus scoffed, taking a left.
“I’ve been thinking that you can lead the horses to water, but they won't drink, because they’re all lambs, and they only want to do what the videos tell them to think. Not what is actually good, which is leavin’ me alone ‘n stuff.”
“If you weren’t high, I’d think you were on to something, James.”
“No, I am on to something. Fuck the lambs, I wanna be like, a deer or some shit, and they should all choose their animals too. And nobody should care what anyone is.” Remus laughed. James wasn’t joking. “And you shouldn’t care so much either, Remus. Fgo fucking tell Sirius you're in love with him. I mean, you drove to Reggie’s house at two a.m. ‘cause he probably called you, right? He called you. Not fuckin’ Peter. “Cause he trusts you. And no one else fucking matters.”
“James…”
“I was gonna make a video. Tell the world all of that, because I can say my opinion and people would listen, but doesn’t that defeat what I’m saying? I’m saying they should worry about themselves, not my relationship. They shouldn’t live off my opinions. They shouldn’t worship me. Or follow me. If Sent is the last movie I ever make, I wouldn’t be sad, because I found everyone I want in life, and I don’t care what the press of the people think of it, y’know? And that’s so freeing. Y’know, my parents don’t really support me. That was the only thing that hurt. Not the people, not the fangirls. Them. Because they’re the ones that matter. Not strangers.”
“You’ve got a lot to say, James,” Remus said, slowly.
“Mhm. I do.”
“So write it down.”
“What?”
“You know that I love books.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“Drunken ideas are the best inspiration for the best books. Write it down, and tell the world later. Making a post or whatever wouldn’t demean you’re point. There’s a difference between spreading knowledge because you think it’s important and telling people things because you’re fishing for attention. I know that’s not what you’re doing.”
James considered this. He nodded his head, as if Remus could see that while he was focusing on the road. “You should ask out Sirius.”
“You should write down your thoughts.”
“So, let’s make a deal.”
Remus grinned, “Okay, then.”
Two years later, James wasn’t as untouchable as he’d felt that night. There were consequences to his actions, and he got into a lot of fights with Albus Dumbledore and his parents. With people like Rita Skeeter, and fangirls who went too far. He toes the line of getting canceled more than once. He stopped working under Dumbledore. He avoided a lawsuit thanks to his parents, who loved him even when they didn’t talk at one point. But James and his father had long talks, and then longer talks, and things worked out.
Remus kept up his end of the deal. It took an entire month to gain the courage, and when he told Sirius, he locked himself in his house and didn’t give Remus a response. It was excruciating. James was the only person Sirius would talk to, and Remus was breaking into a million pieces, thinking Sirius hated him. But then, a month later, after endless silence, a song by Sirius called Philophobia was released, and the second Remus heard it, he was knocking on Sirius’s door, demanding to be let in. It was hard to pin down Sirius Black, but somehow, Remus was capable. Their second anniversary was coming up, and that was proof of that.
James kept up his end of the deal, too. He wrote his thoughts down that night two years ago, and the next day, he reread them, cringed at how he phrased them, and wrote an essay that he published to the world about every thought that had been swirling through his mind, turning it into a cohesive piece for the world to interpret. The essay went viral, which didn’t surprise James. It gained him interviews, press, fans, and haters. Some things never changed, but at least people could understand him now. He’d changed the minds of a few people, and even that was enough for him, because that meant he’d made an impact beyond commercial fame. He’d turned everything that had happened between him and Regulus into something worthwhile.
And oh, Regulus. The love of his life. His everything. Regulus was his fiancée now. He’d gotten all of Regulus, enough of him to make James propose, and he was happier than he’d ever been. Every night, they slept in the same bed, sharing thoughts, and James could cook him breakfast or go on walks with him whenever. He could give him gifts and spoil him. He could be with Regulus fully, and it was the best part of James’s life.
Throughout this time, he rejected all movie offers. He focused on himself and his people. Lily started a new show she was the star of, a nd it was about being a lesbian. James was proud beyond belief of that. He offered for him to collaborate in it, but of course, he rejected. He rejected everything. That was, until he got a call on the phone.
James kissed Regulus on the forehead, with whom he had been lying in bed. “Sorry, love, I wanna take this call.”
Regulus smiled softly. James learned to know Regulus’s different smiles intimately. This one was one of his favorites. “It’s okay, I’ll be here waiting.” Regulus blinked slowly, looking up at James through those eyelashes James was so fond of. He was still sleepy—it was barely 9:00 a.m.
“I love you,” James said softly.
Regulus’s smile turned into a soft laugh, hiding his face in the pillowcase. “You’re a sap.” He paused for a moment, turning back to face the ceiling. “I love you more.”
James pressed one more kiss on his forehead before leaving the room to pick up the phone.
“Lily, I feel like it's been forever,” he said, sighing.
Lily laughed through the phone. “We saw eachother like last week.”
James laughed, too. “I know, but it’s not like it used to be. Where we were on set every day.”
Lily sighed fondly. “I know. Bittersweet, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” He agreed, thinking about all the years they spent together.
“Speaking of which, a girl I work on set with, if you remember, Sybill Trelawney, told me about an offer I think you’d love.”
James could reject her. He still had plenty of money from his last job, but it wasn't about that, really. It had never been about that. So, he grinned. “Tell me about it.”
And the cycle of fame went on. James didn’t mind it this time. He could see all the good parts of it now, and he had Regulus by his side.
He loved his life, truly.