Chapter Text
It has been a couple weeks since Scott had been dropped into this world and he'd like to think he's made decent progress. He's got armour, tools and such through that handy wandering trader that the world has provided but he was still unaware of him long term goal. Getting out of here was number one of course but.. his mind felt fuzzy, trying to think about who he was outside of this place made his head hurt. He was sure there was somewhere for him, it would just remain lost for now.
A mop of brown hair in the distance caught his eye, pulling him from his trance, the sight almost as much of a blessing as he was.
Joel.
He couldn't help the way the corners of his lips curled up in a stupid smile at Joels impossibly wide grin, bearing all of his teeth. "Scott!" He beamed slinging his arms around his neck and collapsing into his boyfriends chest.
"Hello sweetheart," he cooed, running a hand through his hair.
"I've just been to the nether Scott," Joel muttered leaning into the hand caressing his head. "and, I'll tell you this right now, the spawn is absolute crap, there is nothing there at all, don't even bother," He huffed out, venting his troubles out to the man he knew would listen.
Scott's shoulders slumped slightly hoping he reeled it in enough that Joel couldn't notice. The last thing he wants to do is stress his boyfriend out. He slides his hand down the side of his head, gently landing on his cheek.
Joel looked slightly offended like Scott had just woken him up from a thousand year slumber, glancing up at him with his honey yellow eyes. Scott's smile fell crooked. If the watchers were to be believed then Joel would be down a life and one step closer to..
Scott swallowed, worry thick in his throat. "Just.. be careful, I wouldn't want anything happening to you,"
"Don't worry Scott I'm a pretty strong guy I can handle myself," He quipped rolling his eyes playfully, his concern lifting and cocky smile already back on his face. Still, Scott stood his ground.
"Joel," he sighed, watching as Joel captured his hand in his own, leaning into the soft comfort at his cheek.
"Yes Scott, I promise I'll be careful", he echoed back to him, the sincerity sewn throughout his words making it impossible to press him further. His shoulders relaxed slightly and warmth bloomed in his chest, it's so easy to want to go and trust such a sweet guy.
"Thank you," Scott smiled running a thumb along Joel's cheek. "Oh by the way, I got that string you wanted,"
Scott reached into his pocket quickly retrieving the item and holding it out in a heap for his boyfriend. Joel lit up upon seeing it.
"Oh yeah! I forgot I asked you for that," He smiled gleefully, taking the item from Scotts palm. "I actually got you something as well," He grinned, a mischievous lilt to his voice.
With a wave of his hand he opened his inventory, quickly summoning a bouquet of dandelions. The yellow heads of the flowers packed in neatly together, small green leaves tastefully shining through.
"Aww you're so sweet" Scott smiled unable to resist Joel's charms. His stupid grin as he presented him the flowers, clearly proud of himself, making him want to put him in his pocket and protect him from any dangers, yellow life and all.
He settled for the less dramatic option of leaning forwards to press a kiss to his boyfriends forehead, clasping his hand in his own and leading them both back to their shared base.
~
A hand rapped against the door of Scott's base, matching the rhythm of the pounding headache he was delivered this morning. He forced his eyes open and rolled onto his back trying his best to process the voice on the other side of the wall.
"Scott? You awake bud?" A voice sounded out smoothly, cautiously.
Guess he should address them, if only to be polite.
"Yeah, I'm awake,"
The door clicked as it slid open, Pearl's head poking through the doorway, a concerned look washed across her face. She was also dressed differently than he remembered in his own game, he didn't take much notice yesterday, he was a bit wrapped up in.. other things.
Scott shuffled upright, slumping back against the headboard as Pearl welcomed herself in, red cape flowing behind her as she turned to shut the door.
The closed in space suddenly felt all too silent, the atmosphere far too confronting for his liking.
Pearl turned to him, leaning casually against the doorframe. "How are you feeling Scott?"
He felt small under her gaze, everything feeling like too much despite the fact Pearl was doing nothing at all.
He shifted uncomfortably, Scott didn't really feel like sharing anything with anyone right now. He knew he felt and probably looked like crap, but nobody needed to voice that, no use stating the obvious. Last night after he sobbed until his throat felt dry he was too exhausted to function and promptly fell asleep as he hit the matress. Then..
He suppressed a wince at the thought, he was haunted by these sickenly tender memories. They we're nothing special really, fishing, cooking, sleeping, but they were theirs all the same.
He had never dreamt so vividly, clearly a drawback of whatever voidspace they were in. It felt less like a dream and more like a recording, every detail exactly as he remembered. He kept waking in cold sweats, taking him ages to calm himself down enough to fall back asleep.
"I'm feeling fine," he stated bluntly not even trying to pass his statement off as the truth. His disheveled look and puffy eyes doing enough to give that away.
"Scott, I love you, but we both know that's a lie," Pearl added firmly and Scott's eyebrows jumped a bit in surprise.
Pearl also seemed surprised by her own words stammering a bit before quickly adding. "Sorry! Forgot you're not exactly.. my Scott,"
Something behind her eyes flicked as she spoke, like she was just realising now how awkward it would be to try and stage an intervention with someone you're not close with. At all.
"I just kinda assumed that since I'm so close to Scott, maybe I could talk to you.." Her eyes darted to the side as she trailed off like she's regretting ever knocking on his door.
But, in her defence it's not insane logic.. Scott doesn't feel at all in line with the "other Scott" in the lounge but they are still supposed to be the same person.
Pearl glanced back at him, smile returning as she brushes off the growing awkwardness to continue pushing through.
"Anyway I take it you don't wanna talk right now, which I totally understand by the way, not many people do, which is why I'll talk for you!" She smiled doing a small flourish with her hands at her sides.
"So, first off, I take it you won your game, yeah?" She confirms.
Scott nodded.
"This is where the winners end up, the creatively named, winners lounge! That's why some players you remember are here and some aren't,"
That.. makes sense he guesses, but so many people.. how long exactly has this been going on for?
"Now you, your situations a little different, along with Cleo you won what's Grian has dubbed 'a special '," She does air quotes with her hands as she speaks. "Or at least we assume that's where you're from.. do you.. remember Real Life?"
"Real life? Like who I was before the games?" Scott raised an eyebrow.
"Right so I'll take that as a no.. basically Cleo was also from a one off, a special, just like you,"
"And the rest of you?"
"We'll our games go for much longer, spanning over a couple of months,"
Scott felt a bit taken aback at that, the week he spent in his own game feeling slightly obselite at the thought of the everyone else enduring it for months. Well, almost everyone.
"You said Cleo was in a game like mine?"
"Oh- yeah!" She smiled, her tail swinging in jittery excitement behind her. "Cleo kinda just appeared one day and told us about a game that nobody remembered, or rather nobody was in because we were all here while their game was going on,"
"The rest of us though, we move as a unit in a sense, we're all from the same string of games so we all teleport together, I quickly found out that Cleo here was not the same as Cleo in the games 'cause they don't teleport with us.." Her tail drooped as she trailed off, Pearl clearly cares a lot for her friends, worrying about Cleo being stuck in the lounge while in the middle of a death game herself.
"But you know, I'm just glad that Cleo was still so close to me in their games, honestly, sometimes I don't know what I'd do.. if.." She pauses, swallowing thickly bulging eyes trained in his direction. "Wow.. I am doing a lousy job at cheering you up huh," She tries for a laugh but it has no real emotion behind it, Scott only watches, a bittersweet feeling towards her efforts.
"It's okay Pearl, I know what you mean, things would be much easier if it weren't like this," He comments lazily, no real thought behind his words, just sad word vomit to nurse his regrets. Could things have been different? Did he ruin it by stepping in the wrong direction immediately? Was there ever a chance to build something? He'd thought it over too many times.
Pearl sighed softly brushing a hand down her face and landing on her chin. She let out a final huff and shoved off the doorframe.
"How about this, It's good to see you talking again," she grinned, brushing past her own worries to focus back in on Scott who stiffened at the sudden attention. (That's inappropriate..)
Pearl crosses the room towards him sitting on the edge on his bed, casting him a soft gaze with furrowed brows. And, as much as he wanted to deny it, her presence was quite comforting considering their lack of interactions. Though the way she sat down overlooking his bed kind of made him feel like a child being comforted by their mother.
Her face twisted, almost hesitantly, like there was something on her mind she didn't know how to approach.
"So.. you and Joel, that's hard to imagine," she mentioned softly not quite meeting his eyes.
Scott felt like he should become tense at the mention of him, but for some reason he didn't..
"Why's that?" He pressed calmly, tilting his head at Pearl.
She looked back to him curiously almost surprised at the lack of reaction. "Well, our Scott and Joel hate each other is all so it's a bit strange to see you, ya know, act how you did.." she added cautiously.
Scott's brows furrowed.
Pearl tensed up all but panicking at his strong reaction quick to back herself up.
"Not that I blame you! You couldn't have kno-"
"Why?"
Pearl stammered at the interruption, "Why what?"
"What did Scott do to him?" Scott pressed.
"Woah!" Pearl throwing her hands up in a goofy manner trying to deflate him slightly, throwing a smile on her face as she spoke. "Quick to assume it was Scott,"
"Well was it?"
"Ehh no?" Pearls face crinkled as she spoke, like Scott was gonna lash out at her if she said the wrong thing. "And yes?" She serveyed Scotts face before deciding to continue "He just couldn't beat him or something I've never really asked him.. Well he has actually, once but I think he kinda glossed over it because I killed him right after," she chuckled slightly, nervously or not Scott didn't know.
To be completely fair hating someone because they're better than you does sound like a Joel move but he just can't shake the thought that it's more than that.
"Anyways, that doesn't matter right now, what matters is everyone is wondering how you're doing," She smiles at him and he huffs out a frown.
"Yeah right," He mutters
"No really," She assures, nodding her head, "Everyone here's been though it so we all know the new winners are experiencing it pretty recently so we like to check in and stuff,"
She rests her hand on his and he looks up to meet her eyes. "Come on, you'll feel better if you're around people,"
Scott doesn't necessarily believe that's true, really he'd rather holl up in his base than have to face anyone out there. Especially Joel.
But when Pearl looks at him so sweetly and with a genuine care that is surely misplaced for the other Scott, who is he to deny her?
He uses his other hand to pull the covers off of himself and Pearl grins standing up quickly as Scott pulls himself out of bed.
Standing up is tough and laborious, his aching bones writhing in their structure. Even as he slowly pulls himself up Pearl waits patiently, smile holding strong in her gaze.
"Try not to kill Scott either m'kay? He can be a bit prickly sometimes but he's a sweetheart," She assures clapping a hand on his shoulder as she guides him out of his confides.
The light of the lounge remains dim, the ever turning glow of the voids stars casting a calming hue over the surrounding houses. Some chatter can be heard in the distance and Scott spots a group of people, larger than the previous day. The group being accompanied by two additional winners.
Despite the focal point being ahead he finds his eyes trailing sidewards. Why did the house right beside him have to be his.
"Come on Scotty," Pearl teases using her taller stature to allow her to lean her forearm on his head before ruffling his hair and skipping off to join the group. Scott grumbles at that but trudges along after her all the same the car behind him burning holes into his back.
~
Scott would say he's a pretty social guy in general but let's be real nobodies going to want to socialise after having their whole world crash in on them seemingly moments prior.
He observes the way Pearl saunters over, sticking herself in the middle of the conversation easily. She mentioning something simply before all eyes are on him.
He feels a bit like a deer in headlights, should he wave? He looks to Pearl for help, which is a surprise to himself in all honesty and she just gives him an encouraging smile and waves him over.
And oh my goodness does he feel like a massive idiot. Why does everyone have to be looking his way, he'll obviously be looking terrible right now he just woke up, from sulking none the less and what's worse is the only thing people have seen of him is him getting seemingly rejected after running up on Joel. Urgh if he could hate this anymore..
Before he can begin his awkward commute over someone has already done the journey to him, dazzling smile blocking his view. "Well hello there! I don't believe we have formally met yet, I'm Scar Goodtimes, it's a pleasure," he beams taking his hand in two and shaking it.
"No Scar- he already knows who you are, it's still Scott," Another voice that Scott recognises as Grian's groans clearly used to this kind of thing.
"Well how am I supposed to know that?" Scar rolls his eyes, tossing his head back to meet Grians.
"Cleo, Cleo is why you should know that," Another voice, a blonde man, Martyn, affirms, though he looks a little fishier than he remembers.
"Well it is a pleasure none the less," Scar praises turning back to Scott and releasing his hands.
"Thank you Scar I appreciate the efforts anyway," Scott smiles at him, the pair walking the remaining handful of feet towards everyone else.
As they approach, Scott notices the lack of one particular winner and his concern must be obvious because Cleo spills.
"We told him that you're from a special game, we're pretty sure he'd already deduced that himself but the confirmation just pissed him off. Don't even know what he's mad about honestly, he's just always pissed when it comes to Scott," They deadpan, staring off at the vehicle.
"Cleooo," Pearl whines, leaning onto their arm acting like she's much smaller than she is "Don't be so harsh on the guy I thought we'd talked about this," She pouts.
"Sorry, it's just.. you know it annoys me how he acts towards Scott and to find it extends to this Scott who he hasn't even met? I don't know it just rubs me the wrong way Pearl," They lament, leaning back into Pearl.
"Yeah, speaking of Joel, what's up with you two? Apparently you ditched a conversation to run over and hug him yesterday," Martyn chuckles, "Nah, not even a hug it was more like a pounce apparently, I've never even seen Scott smile in his direction let alone embrace the guy, that must have been a sight," He smirks.
"Hey, you leave him alone, don't you remember when you first got here?" Grian scolds, "Don't be an ass,"
"While I also think Martyn is an asshole I am still curious, he a good friend or something?" Scott adds with a raised eyebrow.
Scott swallows, he can feel the surrounding eyes boring through him. Should he tell them? Would they think he's lying? Would it damage his relationship with Joel further when word inevitably got out?
"No guys come on that's none of our business," He can hear Pearl relaying, even though she basically asked earlier, maybe she's hoping he doesn't remember that.
"No Pearl it's fine," He manages eventually and the room turns back on him. Even Pearl herself seems curious, not getting the straightest answer earlier.
Maybe getting this out there will clear the air, surely its not that weird, he has his suspicions about Cleo and Pearl's status himself. Dating in the games can't be that out of scope.
"He was umm.. my boyfriend," He mumbles, smiling despite himself. He loved that man, the mere thought of him forcing the smile to his lips, god he misses him..
"Boyfriend?" Martyn repeated back to him like it was a mistake.
"Yeah.., I know my game didn't go on for nearly as long as yours or whatever but.. I don't know.. It was just so nice, having someone be so caring and sweet during something like the life games. I'm sure you all relate, you know, trauma bonding and all,"
He looked up, finally able to meet their eyes, dropping what felt like a bit of a bomb to this group at least was a sigh of relief. Still what met his eyes when reached them were confused looks at best and disgust at worst
..courtesy of Scott.
Honestly he doesn't get what the big deal is, is dating a problem here or something? What can't these people grasp?
"Am I out of the loop or something? I didn't think dating during the death games would be that weird?" He mumbles a ripple of shame growing stronger over his body.
"Nah Scott you're good, I think we're just confused because.. um.. Joel's not gay," Martyn winces.
..
Seriously?
"Please tell me you guys are joking," Scott deadpans, "I thought we've been over this! Those two are different people!" He raises his voice with an exasperated tone desperately motioning between the car and no where in particular.
He only gets met with blank stares he feels something inside him burning, fueling him to keep talking.
"You know how I know that? Because my lover is dead and cared about me, he's alive and does not," He gritted.
He feels rage blooming in his chest, ready to snap out at any moment. It's unnecessary, he's getting worked up over nothing, but he can't help the feeling of being dismissed as wrong or a liar. He won't have let what they had be dragged through the mud because of anothers decision. What right do they have to call it fake when he makes him feel the most real he ever did. God what an actual pest.
"Heck! You've got proof right in front of you!" He shot an arm out towards Scott, motioning between the two, "I am nothing like him, he just looks like me! So don't talk to me about some, oh Joel's not gay when they are clearly two different people," He adds, almost fuming at this point, he feels hot, why is he getting so worked up again.
He feels dizzy, last time he felt like this he ended up strangling Grian and getting punched in the face so he needs to calm the hell down. He imagines they're probably mocking him, some crazy gay man trying to push the woke agenda or whatever. Shit that feels further from what he's supposed to remember..
"He could never.. be," He mumbles, stumbling over the floor, legs drilling over each other in a messy dance as his head spins. A deep purple hue clouding his vision as tears prick the corners of his eyes.
Fuck
He plants his feet into the ground to try and remain steady but he can already feel himself falling.
~
He wakes again with a start, body jutting upward as a yelp slips from his mouth. He feels stuffy, sweat drenching his body and god if he thought he had a headache before. He pants heavily as he scans the room, eyes landing on another pair of familiar cool blue ones staring right at him.
"He's awake," Scott smirks, losing interest in snooping through his chests and making his way over towards his bedside.
He winces through his surprise, headache making itself immediately present again as a hand shoots up to nurse it. "What happened?" He grimaces, rubbing his throbbing forehead.
"We don't know, one minute you're fine and the next you're cursing everyone out then you're passed out," He grins, resting his elbows on his bedside, chin sat atop his fingers like a throne.
"Grian mentioned something like this happening when he went to pick you up from the void, said he felt some aura that reminded him a lot of.." He trailed off unsure, finding refuge in his hands as he sunk deeper.
"The watcher curse," He mumbled.
Scott felt bile turn over in his stomach.
"Watcher curse?" He pressed, shifting uncomfortably.
Scott stared downwards in thought for a moment before looking back to him.
"What was your gimmick?"
"My what?"
Scott groaned, rolling his eyes.
"Come on! Your games gimmick what made it different, like.. heres this, what did the watchers say to you when your game began?" He prompted, staring pointedly at Scott.
"Uh it's all pretty lost on me to be honest but I do remember our world didn't have many resources, no trees or anything, just a single village and then open landscape, as in no hills.. it was just.. flat?"
Scott squints at him, "Okay? That's not usually how the gimmicks work, they usually alter you.. That's what I was gonna get at, for example my game was probably the most affected by watchers, along with Martyns but mine was first so, you know," He shrugs.
"During the game you would get a random number of starting lives, that wasn't the problem, the problem was the boogeyman curse. You would be overtaken by the watchers will for a lack of better word and driven to kill so strongly, much worse than being red in my opinion,"
"What's it like?" Scott raised.
"Huh? Oh, it starts small like a lit flame you know is burning but has little effect, the longer you wait the more the flame burns and you become like, angry and irrational and at worst it starts to cloud your mind and I don't know if its just me but I see a lot of purple,"
"Is that right.."
Yeah it's pretty easy to connect the dots here but he's still stuck on the why, why does it trigger? Why does it happen it the first place? Why is Scott in his room? Well that one probably has an easy answer.
"Uhm, why are you in my house?" Scott mumbles awkwardly, looking down at the man below him making himself pretty comfortable at his side.
"Urgh, it's such a bore but they wanted someone to watch over you 'just in case'," He groans rolling his eyes, "Both Cleo and Pearl have already had a shift and somehow roped me into taking one," He complains.
"Wait how long have I been passed out for?" Scott realises eyebrows jumping at that addition.
"Ahh, it's unimportant," Scott groans waving his his hand at Scott, "But you know what isn't? Your relationship with Joel," He states firmly almost accusingly. Scott feels like he's getting interrogated.
"Don't pass out on me again but, I should tell you what Martyn failed to mention," He pursed his lips thinking carefully for the first time it seemed before speaking to him. "So, from what Grian has managed to find from Cleos game we know that the person you or any one of us would have spawned in as during Simple Life is the same person that spawned into the very first game,"
"What are you saying,"
"Well you know, not the exact same person physically seeing as we're literally two people right now but generally speaking, I'm saying that you and I aren't so different, we were once the same person entirely! And.. it's the same for Joel, he-"
"Stop," Scott choked out, "I see what you're trying to do and I don't appreciate you giving me false hope here,"
"But it's not false hope Scott!" He pushes himself to a stand, rising off of the bedside and looming over him. "In your timeline you met Joel in a good way and you two started on the right foot and hit it off apparently! I'm just saying, he's still there, right next door and you don't have to be sulking when he is literally within arms reach," His face morphs slowly into a scowl. "Honestly you should be grateful you at least have a chance at getting him back, not everyone can say the same thing and if anything you're selfish," he spat no longer being able to meet his eyes.
Scotts face twisted at that, selfish? He's being selfish? He followed Scott to stand up grabbing his shoulder firmly and turning him in his direction.
"Would you date him?" Scott snapped.
"What?" Scott droned, eyebrows furrowing.
"Would you date Joel?" He stated firmer.
"No! He's a horrible person," Scott shoots him a look of disgust, like even being asked that question was an assault to his psyche.
"Yeah, and what makes you think he'd think any different about me? He isn't my Joel and he never will be so stop acting like I'm being avoidant when there's nothing to avoid because he's not here!"
"Oh that's just some bullshit, you'll sulk about it but you won't even try!" Scott continutes to push, like this is his own personal matter that he needs to settle.
"You have someone in the games you want out don't you? That's why you're being an asshole about this? Right?"
The look on Scotts face said it all his jagged demeanour melting into discomfort immediately, like he had never been more exposed.
"Well guess what! If he wins he'll be right here with you but guess who doesn't get a second chance?" Scott cried motioning uselessly with his hands.
Scott shot him another look, halfway between anger and hurt, his tone was soft as he replied.
"Its not that simple,"
"Well it sure feels that way," Scott sneered, staring the other man down for a second before turning to the door.
"Goodbye Scott,"