Chapter Text
It had been a few weeks after the surgery, well that's how you measured time, since sometimes it was difficult with your muddled brain. Gabriel spent a lot of the day with you now, sitting with you, gripping your hands, crying silently on your shoulder. You were the only one he cried in front of. ‘Aw how sweet.’ Is what most would think, but you wished he cried more. You always thought it was good to cry, and you still remembered that in your current state. You wished you could cry.
Gabriel had called the doctor, and he was to come later that day so he could help Gabriel figure you out, and so they could find out if there was any chance of resurrecting your previous enthusiasm… and ability to move articulatedly. Gabriel had laid your head on his lap as he sat on the couch, and was tracing a finger over your face.
“Shut your eyes. That's the only way you look peaceful.” Gabriel murmured, his feather light touch rubbing your cheek. “You look glassy and broken when you just sit there with your eyes open- I shouldn't feel like this since I did this to you… but I can't help it. I feel so guilty.. and as I should.” he told you quietly. You quit kicking him whenever he got sad and mopey about you like this, and decided to let it happen. He probably deserved this too, he was probably right, but you made excuses for him. You loved him, of course, but you were wondering why no blame went to his mother? You always thought she was a bit… mean, to anyone but Gabriel. Gabriel knew that and asked her to be kind to you, but she just said think nothing of it, and waved around how lucky it was that he and you got the inheritance from his father, and that she didn't take it because she's ‘so kind.’ What a lovely person.
Later, the doctor came and sat on the seat across from you two. He gave you both- or well, Gabriel, the brief, (since you didn’t look at all that conscious at the moment.) He told him that most of the damage would be permanent, but that there was a chance you could recover part way, but a smaller chance you could make a full recovery. Gabriel's eyes brightened, and he gasped. “Really?! Is there anything I do to help- or any… brain exercises he could do to quicken it up?” Your husband asked excitedly. This seemed promising, to you.
“Well, you can’t do any ‘brain exercises’ since it's a matter of severed brain connection. You just have to wait. It really depends on how brutal the surgeons were, and looking at him…” The doctor glanced at you. “They weren’t. Usually a patient would be completely incoherent, but you said He was tapping feet for yes and no, and such, and understanding things you say. I’d think this man's recovery is plausible.” The doctor stated, resulting in a hopeful grin on Gabriel's face. “Okay… Splendid! Even if it's a little recovery, that's fine! Well- not fine… This never should’ve happened… But considering the situation I’d think we have good circumstances.” Gabriel said gleefully.
Later that night, in bed, Gabriel was talking to you. Kind of like how you two used to, but without you responding. He seemed quite mellow, and had positioned you to lay on your side, facing him. You weren’t completely immobile but he had to help with mundane things like that. “I hope you recover soon… I know it's supposed to take a while and we aren't even sure you'll completely recover… but I really want to look on the bright side… Oh what am I saying, this didn't happen to ME, it's your life that I completely ruined… For not putting up with you well enough. No, that sounds terrible. I just-“ Gabriel struggled with his words, then started crying. “It feels so much lonelier now, I miss your voice filling the air.” He sobbed. “And I don't want to victimise myself. And that's not what I'm trying to do…”
He was stumbling on his words, but you knew he was being genuine. You knew him well enough that you knew he would never be intentionally evil, and you loved that. You just wished he had a second thought before going through with the lobotomy, and now you were both harmed, even if it was more you. Or at least, physically. He seemed to be taking the short end of the stick on the grief side of the spectrum, you weren't sure if it was because of your (possibly) permanently damaged frontal lobe or the fact that he usually shouldered grief between the two of you.
Gabriel wallowed in guilt, then kept apologising and sobbing softly to you. All you could think was ‘wow, this man loves me. This imperfect man. And I still love him too, I don't care if I'm a moron for it.’ Probably the most profound thought you've had since the lobotomy, although you could've said that casually before the surgery, that was the first profound declaration of love you've mustered, that wasn't ‘i defaultly love this man because i loved him prior and i can still see the good in him even if hes done something irreparable, since i know his brain is probably more muddled up than mine now.'
Give a rich kid everything he wants when he’s growing up and he becomes a spoiled and direct with what he wants? Gabriel was different. He never had the need to think, so now when he does sometimes his brain doesn't go the full mile with his comprehension. He wasn't as… ‘different’ as YOU were, and it was a different type. Match made in heaven.
You have always been more intense than him. You were really hoping you would be able to improve, even a little bit.