Chapter Text
As soon as Kohane saw that An texted her, she spared no time in getting out of bed and running out the front door, deciding she'd apologise to her dad for leaving without saying anything later.
The message was so cryptic. It could mean anything. Did An tell her to come over because she wanted to talk? Because she wanted to yell at her? Or even break up…?
No. She shouldn't think that way. An could want to see her for a number of reasons, all Kohane could do for now was keep going towards the Shiraishi residence.
When she arrived, Ken seemed surprised to see her upon opening the door, but let her in with little question, commenting briefly about how An hadn't left her room all day.
Faced with the outside of An's bedroom door, Kohane took a shaky breath in and knocked lightly. An didn't answer for a few moments, which prompted Kohane to knock again, though just before she could, she heard shuffling from inside and the door cracked open.
Kohane couldn't make out much more than An's eyes, but her heart broke upon seeing how swollen and red rimmed they were, devoid of that usual spark.
“Hey, uhm—” The words died on Kohane's tongue, An didn't look great, that was obvious. But she couldn't just say that. All she wanted as to hold her close and forget everything that happened.
An said nothing, barely made eye contact. All he did was take Kohane's wrist and gently pull her into the room. Kohane gasped a little but let herself go where An took her.
Kohane closed the door quietly behind her, turning to face the room.
It was… a mess, to say the least. Clothes were strewn across the floor alongside numerous posters that had crumpled from being carelessly ripped from the wall. Kohane even saw one of An's decorative CDs on the floor. The bed was unmade. Though, who was Kohane to care, when there were bigger issues to attend?
“Uh, sorry. About the mess I mean.” An muttered, only just loud enough for Kohane to make out. They were fidgeting with their fingers.
Kohane looked at An, their hair a mess, knotted and unbrushed, devoid of the clips you'd always see it adorning. They hadn't changed out of their clothes from yesterday. She frowned at how raw and raspy their voice was.
“No, it's okay. I'm not bothered, I promise.” She replied. She had to handle this calmly, correctly.
…If she even knew what “correctly” could possibly be in this scenario. She remembered hearing somewhere that nothing about grief was meant to be normal, now she was witnessing somebody experience it first-hand, she realised that there really was nothing.
“Kohane, uhm. I want to apologise, for yesterday. I— I handled it poorly. I shouldn't have lashed out. I—” An lost her footing with that sentence early on. Kohane could tell she was trying really hard, and it broke her heart that An was apologising for grieving.
Kohane shook her head with a hum, “No. An-chan that's not fair on you. You just found out something devastating about somebody you love so much, there's no possible way you could've known how to react in that moment, other than to try everything to protect yourself from further hurt.”
“But I— I called you a liar, I called everyone liars. I accused you of something you had no say in.” An's voice increased heavily in pitch, insinuating he was beginning to cry, his voice cracked multiple times in that sentence alone as he tried and failed to steady himself.
“An-chan, you were right. It was wrong of myself, Shinonome-kun and Aoyagi-kun to disregard you in favour of singing.” Kohane could feel her own eyes well with tears. “I love you so much— and I hurt you! I never should've!”
She was crying too now, all the hurt and build up over the last 24 hours was too stressful to handle. All those overbearing thoughts that clouded every sense, those God forbidden thoughts that she'd never talk to An again. It all spilled out like a broken dam. It was all too much. She kind of felt bad, it wasn't her who was grieving.
An couldn't let himself see any more of it, instead latching onto Kohane and holding her tight, his grip on her shirt tighter than it usually was. “I love you too. I'm— I'm still upset, but in the end, you three weren't the ones who kept such a horrible secret from me for so long. I know I'll forgive everybody eventually, I have to. But for now, I want to at least forgive you guys. I can't stand the thought of not having you with me.”
Kohane giggled through her tears, probably relief. Relief that An was going to be okay, because she wasn't going to shut herself away any longer.
“Hey, you know even if you stayed mad at me forever, I'd still try to make it up to you, right?” she reassured, running a hand through An's hair, stopping to gently detangle knots in favour of not tugging her partner's hair.
“Nnnn’ that’s unfair you know I'd never be able to be mad at you for that long~” An whined playfully.
Kohane pulled back from the hug, a grin overtaking her tear-ridden cheeks as she lifted a hand to hold An's face. “Even so, if I upset you, you deserve a heartfelt apology. So, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I hurt you and made you feel like I lied to you and betrayed you, that was never my intention and I'll do whatever you want to make it up to you. Because I love you, An-chan.”
“K-Kohane…!” An sobbed, Kohane used her thumb to gently brush away the fresh wave of tears on her partner's face. An used his own hand to hold Kohane's, which was cupping his face, “I love you so much! You don't need to do anything, really.”
Kohane knew they had things to talk about. And An needed to talk to the guys… and probably her parents. But for now, they could give themselves a minute together before worrying about that.
Together, they'd always be together.