Chapter Text
It has been five years since that night. Since the night we all snuck out. The road has been long and hard fought, but we have made it this far without shattering completely. Jude and I were still together despite the challenges, despite the fights.
Within two days of our deal with Daria and Taylor, things were already better. Upon discovering that Jude and Taylor were "dating", my dad had apologized for his efforts to ruin our friendship and once again allowed me to hang out with Jude as much as I pleased. Naturally, I took advantage of it, and soon our sleepovers had resumed. Of course, while my dad was blissfully in the dark about the true nature of mine and Jude's relationship, Jude and I continued to grow closer.
Stef, Lena and the siblings were the first people we told about our relationship, and Daria and Taylor's statuses as our respective beards. All of them swore that they would do anything in their power to help us cover up the truth from my dad. Stef and Lena tried to at least act uncomfortable about hiding it from him, but the act fell apart completely before they had even finished the sentence. There were rules, of course. We weren't allowed to have the door to Jude's room closed unless Taylor, Daria, or one of the siblings was with us to make sure we didn't get up to any mischief.
We managed to hide it at school until the beginning of freshman year. Jude and I were getting sick of hiding it at school and around my other friends and we decided to come out as a couple at school. The day before, I pulled the baseball and soccer teams aside and told them. Since the people on both teams were very good friends of mine, they agreed to help Jude and I in confining the news to Anchor Beach and not allowing it to reach my dad's ears. Since I am really well liked at school, and because I had two sports teams acting as Jude and I's personal security force, our relationship was well received. It soon became common knowledge that when it came to Jude and I, what happened at Anchor Beach was meant to stay there. It kind of helped that my teammates got overzealous and implied retaliation if word reached beyond the walls of Anchor Beach.
I regret nothing.
As time passed, our group grew.
The first addition was Jack.
The first time I met Jack the first thought that ran through my mind was that he was the single goofiest guy I had ever met in my life. When we hung out together, all he ever wanted to do was play XBox or listen to music. He had a minor crush on Callie for the first few months we hung out, but he got over that and switched the focus of his attentions to Taylor. Strangely, after only a few days, Taylor agreed to go on one date with him. The next day, she reported that she had agreed to a second date because Jack was, and I quote, "That dork is probably the sweetest person I've ever met". Stef and Lena grew to adore Jack, eventually agreeing to permanently foster him when he was nearly beaten to death in his then newest foster home. Christmas morning of our freshman year, almost two years since Jack went to live with them, Stef and Lena turned to Jack and offered him a small package.
Inside was a large envelope, containing a small stack of papers. Jack read them, and as soon as he realized that the papers were the petition for adoption, he collapsed into hysterical tears. Months later we all stood in a courtroom, as Jack became an Adams Foster.
The next person to join our group was Noah.
He became our friend about two months after Jack. Noah and I got off to a rocky start. Jude and I had only met other gay people at the LGBT prom we went to in seventh grade. Naturally, given how needy I can be, I felt threatened and got possessive. When Jude and Noah confronted me over it, I admitted my feelings. Noah reassured me that he wasn't after Jude, admitting that he just experienced a breakup and wasn't looking for a new relationship yet. The next day, we found out about his medical marijuana card. When he asked if we wanted to try it, I immediately shut it down because I would be ineligible to play sports if I got caught, and I didn't want Jude doing it either. That was the last time I heard about it, and soon Noah and I were getting a long a lot better, and eventually he just became another member of the family. Sure, Dad really didn't know what to think of him, but he didn't try to stop me from hanging out with him. Noah was the first openly gay boy he'd ever met, and by my standards, Dad handled it pretty well.
I'm hoping that that attitude has continued, and even improved because the first day of our senior year of high school is tomorrow, and we're all excited. Right now, however, I stand in the kitchen, gripping the counter in a white-knuckle grip, because I'm about to finally come out to my father and I'm fucking terrified. Absolutely terrified. Now, my dad has gotten a lot better about the whole "gay thing". Due to what he perceived as my close "friendship" with Jude, he'd been all but forced to interact with Stef and Lena on a much more regular basis. By the time our freshman year was half over, the three of them had formed a pretty decent friendship of their own. When the holidays come around, like Fourth of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, we all get together at one of the houses and have a massive barbeque. Because of their friendship, Stef and Lena have been slowly changing my dad's mind about the subject.
Fingers snapped in front of my face, bringing me out of my thoughts.
"You just gonna stand there all day, kiddo?"
I looked at my dad, who was staring at me with exasperation.
"No, I was just… thinking." I said softly, "Lost in my thoughts."
"You alright?" He asked.
"Yeah… I think so." I said.
"You think so? Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?" He joked.
"Maybe both." I said.
He snorted, and plopped down into his recliner with a sigh.
I sat down on the couch.
"Dad?"
"Yeah?"
"I need to talk to you." I started, "About something important."
"Go ahead." He said.
"Um… do you remember when I was in seventh grade?" I asked, "And uh, you tried to stop me being friends with Jude?"
"*Sigh*. I think I know where this is going." Dad said.
"Somehow I doubt it…" I started to say.
"Really?" Dad snarked.
"Yeah. Really." I said as I took a drink.
"Oh, okay." Dad said, "Then it isn't about how you and Jude have been dating behind my back since you were thirteen?"
I promptly spat out the drink I'd just taken.
"Jesus Christ, Connor, really?" Dad laughed, getting out of his chair to retrieve a towel from the kitchen, "Did you have to do a spit take?"
"I couldn't exactly help it!" I sputtered, "You KNEW? All this time?"
He looked at me for a moment.
"Well… not the whole time." Dad admitted, "I realized it about halfway through the summer after your freshman year."
"How?" I asked.
"Well… Stef and Lena's steady brainwashing was one sign." Dad said with a small smile.
"Dad… I'm being serious." I said frustrated, "How did you know? Why didn't you tell me that you knew?"
Dad sighed.
"Connor… I know that I fucked up with you and Jude." Dad said bluntly, "I'll admit it. I fucked up. I don't want to even think about how I acted, about the things I said and the things I thought back then. I was ignorant, I was horrible, and I regret it so much. The only reason I've been so much better is because Stef and Lena have helped me. When I realized the truth, I went straight to them. Asked them what I should do, how I should handle it without screwing it up. They told me to be patient and wait until you came to me. So, that's what I did."
"So… you're okay with it?" I asked timidly.
"Connor, if I wasn't okay with it…" Dad started to say, "Well… I think we both know the answer to that one."
We sat in silence for a minute.
"So… what made you realize it?" I asked.
"It was the way you and Jude looked at each other." Dad said softly, "You two… you look at each other like you're the only two people in the room. You always have. Stef and Lena are the same way with each other, and so were your mother and I… at the beginning. It was the Fourth of July barbeque. You two snuck off on your own, and I followed you. I was suspecting already, I thought you were sneaking off to, well, fool around."
"Dad… no. Just, no." I said firmly.
"Yeah, point taken." He agreed, "Anyway, You two were sitting in the grass. Not doing anything, just sitting there. You had your arm around him, and he was leaning his head on your shoulder. You asked him if he had any idea how much you loved him and kissed the top of his head. He told you he loved you too and you kissed the top of his head again. I stood there watching, and I… I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen you that happy, and I realized that I'd almost ruined that for you. I went back inside and found Stef and Lena. They told me they'd known since the beginning, and had been watching over you both. Later, after everybody went home, and you were asleep, I locked myself in the garage and cried for about an hour."
I stood up and gave him a hug.
"I tried to make it up to you." He continued, clinging to me, "I tried so hard to never say anything that would make you think I'd be upset when you told me. Whenever Jude was over, I turned a blind eye to everything that was obvious, and I let you have your door closed. Also, I uh… do you remember how a couple years ago, I fell out with your grandfather?"
"Uh. Yeah, why?" I said as I pulled out of the hug, still reeling at the influx of information.
"Well… I went over to watch the World Series with him, like I always did." Dad continued, "One of the players missed a hit, and your grandfather called him a slur… the f-word. You know which one; I'm not gonna say it out loud… And, well, I snapped. Shouted at him. It sparked an argument. I didn't mean to tell him about you; it just slipped out in my anger. More things were said, so I punched him and then I stormed off."
I stared at him for a second longer.
"You stood up for me against grandpa." I said, "I… I don't know what to say, Dad."
"You don't have to say anything." Dad said, "I'd do it again if I had to. For all of you, Jack and Noah too."
I sniffled.
"Thanks, Dad." I said, my voice breaking, "You have no idea how much that means to me."
He drew me back into a hug.
"Just know that you're safe here." Dad said, his voice carrying a promise, "You and Jude, the others. If ever you need safe haven, this house is open. And… just know that I'm so, extremely, proud of you. Gay or not, you're still my little boy, and that's never gonna change."
After that, it was impossible to hold in the tears.