Chapter Text
“While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die”
— Leonardo DaVinci
Levi squints under dim candlelight, slowly re-reading the decree again and again. He never excelled at reading, so he still holds some hope that he simply misread the name, the order.
“Tortured over sixty people, including unregistered prisoners.”
“Hange Zoë.”
It’s been two weeks since Hange’s face was plastered all over Paradis along with theirs. Mikasa claimed she captured a messenger coming straight from Mitras back then, carrying those orders that reached every military unit in the Walls. She’d tried to find Hange, but she was already off the grid. A part of him was proud, another was frustrated that she wouldn’t show a sign of life, even for them.
When Mikasa first asked him what they were to do, his response had been “we’ll find her before they do.”
She nodded then, always obedient. And asked “how?”
How. He still doesn’t have an answer for that. They’re locked inside an abandoned silo in the Underground, right beneath Mitras. Kenny Ackerman should be patrolling right above them somewhere, and just over the brick walls of their hideout walk people who’d gladly hand them over for a piece of bread and a handful of copper coins. It was cheeky yet effective to hide right under the Military Police’s nose, but right now it feels like the worst idea Levi’s had in his life. They’re in the center of the Walls, with targets painted on their backs.
It’s not like it came out of nowhere. Kenny had warned him that the world would unite just to bring him down.
Hide, kid. Last chance.
Anger sizzles slowly in the pit of his stomach. He’ll skin Kenny alive. He’ll dismantle the Military Police from the ground up—that’s what he might tell himself right now, but he knows these are all hollow promises. All he cares about at the moment is to find Hange. He refuses to die in a hole; he and Mikasa will finally attempt to leave the Underground.
Levi sheathes his blade and stands up.
“Stay close to me.”
They exit through a passage to the neighbouring silo, packed with supplies the Underground folk aren’t privy to. It belongs to the big shots, the merchants who like to dangle food over the Underground folk’s heads as if they’re nothing more than dogs.
Slowly, they walk across beams and rooftops, unnoticed by all. They run over alleys smudged with ash, over short, bony thugs that must be no older than twelve, till they spot the cranky elevator that leads above.
When Levi looks over at Mikasa, he finds her looking back to the filthy cobblestone street. A little girl has managed to hide a piece of bread under her blouse, only for a mob of street urchins to fight her for it, tug her hair, tug her clothes, grab it and make a run for it.
Levi used to be one of them, one day. Fighting tooth and nail just to eat one more day.
“We’ve been these people before,” he tells Mikasa. “Won’t be anything new.”
Something brews behind her eyes. When she thinks he isn’t looking, she doesn’t bother to hide how crestfallen she is over the loss of her freedom, once so close, now unreachable forever. They might talk about it later, but right now they have an ally to locate, a friend to save.
Mikasa pulls out the pistol holstered at her hip, ready to make their agreed distraction for the guards at the gates—
“You there!”
A sharp MP cry makes them both duck to their shroud of shadows, until they realise they weren’t the target. Someone is being chased around the streets, a tall and lithe figure.
Mikasa squints. “Is it a silo thief?”
Levi’s heart momentarily stutters and a cord of annoyance is plucked inside his chest, way before his eyes actually adjust. He knows the answer before he actually sees her.
“No. It’s Hange.”
Hange’s lungs squeeze and ache as she runs, her ribs killing her.
She calculated a few parameters wrong, took more risks than she could handle. She shouldn’t have tried to rummage through the guards’ supplies before trying to sneak down into the Underground.
Shit.
Regret won’t help now. Exhaustion rises up her windpipe and squeezes, but she forces herself to breathe through that, brings to mind all of Shadis’ training. Every alley looks the same and the MPs stationed there are experienced. They chase after her when she climbs a gate, when she squeezes herself through a passage. With all the breath she can muster, she calls out “LEVI!”
Twin grunts answer her. The guards tailing her have fallen unconscious, with the two Ackermans standing over them.
Levi’s voice is almost soft when he acknowledges her, as if he doesn’t want to disturb the silence. “Shitty-glasses.”
Hange could have written poems about how brightly his eyes shined in the moldy alley, if she’d been paying the tiniest bit of attention to them. Unfortunately, all she has the strength to do is collapse in on herself, hands on her knees, and draw earth-shaking breaths, trying not to retch.
“Hold on… lemme catch… whoo, distances… Underground…” she wheezes out, not even her own brain making sense of the string of random words. “Did not… calculate… do you have any painkillers here?”
“Painkillers?” Mikasa questions.
“Yeah. Like… morphine. Or… a loaded pistol.” She looks up with a crooked grin, bringing two fingers to rest on her temple, imitating a gun. “Does wonders for the pain, but only once.”
She chuckles at her own joke, her ribcage convulsing under the erratic heartbeats.
“You came, huh.”
Levi steps forth, holding out his hand. That’s how it started, she realises with a pang to her ribs that has nothing to do with her burning muscles. This is how they met, how circumstance and chance brought them together. Only this time, there’s trust filling the space between them instead of hatred.
Hange clasps his hand and straightens her back.
“You called,” Levi returns, deadpan. His eyes leave hers to flit over to the unconscious guards at their feet. “Let’s hope these ones didn’t call anyone. Come on.”
She fills them in on the way back to their hideout over a cup of tea that the Ackermans miraculously conjure wherever they might find themselves. The Military Police, how Erwin let her walk, the words she and Moblit exchanged.
You should’ve died as yourself instead of letting them kill you like this.
He meant it, she heard as much in his voice. She’s been thinking about it for two weeks, carving the phrase open and tearing it apart like an autopsy, only to find she doesn’t feel anything about it. She doesn’t even disagree. He’s right, he’s never been more right.
“Things are worse than I thought,” Levi says. “Everyone is onto us. The plan was to finish off Kenny’s squad, but he already talked. So what do we do now?”
“The thing is, we’ve been going about this all wrong,” Hange says, palming the cup’s warmth. “Kenny isn’t the bigger issue, he never was. He was just an obstacle thrown in our way by the ones who are really the problem. We can’t concern ourselves with just one assassin when the whole government wants us dead, right Levi? You see that killing him won’t solve anything.”
“He’s the Military Police’s best asset,” Mikasa retorts. “It will buy us time.”
“Or waste strength and resources,” Hange returns. “He’s still out there, right? An open invitation for our revenge. Maybe it’s the same as when they sent you and me after each other. They want us to kill their enemies for them. Kenny just hasn’t yet realised that he’s a piece on their chessboard too.”
“They?”
“The Walls have a shadow government. And we’ve been so preoccupied with playing tag that we never even stopped to think about it, when they were in plain sight.” She crosses her arms and leans back against her chair. “Come on, ask me.”
“Seriously?”
“Ask.”
After a sigh, “who hides behind the shadow government?”
She grins. “Say please.”
“Hange.”
“Alright, alright.” Her grin widens. “Rod Reiss, owner of the Reiss Chapel and rightful king of Paradis.”
She got as much of a reaction as she expected. Levi and Mikasa seem disappointingly unimpressed. “We already have a king.”
She shrugs as if it’s the simplest thing to deduce. “Puppet government. The council and Reiss are actually moving the strings. Does your hideout always creak so much?” It’s like a very heavy-footed rat is walking about.
“How did you find that out?” Levi asks, ignoring her question.
“I did some research while I was in hiding. Went to MP camps, asked around.” There’s a small pause. Both Ackermans know exactly what Hange Zoe means by asking around.
“Great. So we leave,” Levi says.
“Leave,” Mikasa echoes in disbelief. Levi returns a challenging look.
“Unless you want us thrown in the dungeons and tortured to death.”
She looks over at Hange, an intensity burning in her stare. “What do you have to say about that?”
Her hands clench around the cup, so much that she thinks she feels the brittle porcelain struggling. She has a lot to say about it. She has to say that she hates to be humiliated in her own land, by the very same people who killed her soul and then tore it apart for their own gain. However if she dies at their hands, she can never make them pay. She can never amend what she’s done.
“It’s the best option. If not anything else, we must stay alive to repent for what we’ve done. No good person will rid the Walls of those leeches, and we’re past the good people part. If hiding is what it takes…”
“Till when?” she asks with an intensity Hange has never seen on her. “I’m not leaving. This is my land and I won’t let them chase me away from it.”
Levi tilts his head. “Where did you get all that fire from?”
Mikasa sizes him up. “Not you, apparently.”
For a split second, Hange thinks that the floor, the walls creak around them.
“Yeah, cause I’m smart enough not to play with it. Stand down and put the fire out, brat. We’re gonna die if we stay and you know it.”
“We’re gonna die if we lose. We’re gonna live if we win. And we can’t win if we don’t fight.” The words resound among them, settling between them, heavy.
“Where did you hear that?”
Mikasa falters at that. “The night my parents died. I didn’t kill them alone. A boy… the doctor’s son. He saved me. He wrapped this scarf around me and he went to get help. That’s when you came.”
Levi frowns. “Why did you never tell me that?”
“You never asked. And it didn’t matter anymore.” Her hand absently climbs to the scarf. “But I find myself looking back to that day, wondering what would’ve happened if he’d stayed. Where he is right now. We killed them together, the same sins bind us, we should have shared the burden. But I… I ran away from him, I never knew a life outside the shadows. I’m not making the same mistake again.” Her fist closes around the fabric. “I want to stay and fight for this life now. I’m not wasting another chance.”
Hange opens her mouth, then closes it again. Her words are resonating with her, and that’s a problem. Her heart lies with Mikasa’s outburst, but her mind knows better.
“They have an army and there’s three of us,” she reasons. “We’ll hardly make it out of the Underground alive if we decide to stay.”
As if on cue, the door bangs as if someone slammed against it. Curses come from outside, ruckus spills outside their hideout.
“Shit.”
Hange tugs the hood over her face and draws her knife. At the third try, the locked door breaks off its hinges. A man with a notably larger knife is on the lead, with countless other gangs behind him. One of them, she recognises as Flegel Reeves, the merchant’s son who ran to the Underground after his father’s murder. Seems like he had more of his father in him than he knew, because a group of those thugs seem to be doing his bidding.
“Ackerman,” the one with the knife growls.
With a fling of his wrist, his sleeve is pinned against the wall by a blade. “Present,” Levi says.
They swarm in while the three instinctively shift to group up. Hange lunges and covers and fights, but there’s just too many of them and they’re ferocious.
“We’re taking the leap,” Levi announces and with a jab of his elbow shatters the only covered window. Hange is whisked off her feet as he pulls her down with him, shielding her head during the fall. When they collide with the ground, pain explodes across her ribs, her breath violently cut short.
She forces herself to draw breaths, let oxygen feed her hungry brain. She’s landed against something soft and aching, she realises. Levi. He twisted his body so he could shield her. He only looks at her once to assess the damage and she gives him a pained nod.
Hange tries to get up, but more of them emerge from the shadows. This was a joint effort from every Underground citizen, it seems. Figures. They know Levi and Mikasa Ackerman too well for each gang to try and take them down alone.
“Shut up. We’ve got bigger problems.”
Murmurs erupt through the alleys. There’s hundreds of them, and so desperate they’d be a worthy match even for the Ackermans.
“Isn’t she… Hange Zoë?”
“Yes, it’s her, can’t you see that eyepatch?”
The underground folk might not know how to read but they can recognise faces and the prices attached to their heads just fine.
The voices become louder, more certain. “She’s wanted for treason up there!”
“We have to hand her over!”
“Why, so you can get all the money yourself?!”
Two men have started a scuffle, shoving one another, arguing over who gets the reward.
“You idiots! She’ll run away if you don’t capture her first!” Flegel Reeves shouts to the disorganised crew.
“Now, now,” Hange says —more wheezes out– over the argument. “How about we discuss it? I’m already here, I’m not going anywhere.”
Then another voice pipes up, alarmed. “They can’t find her here! They’ll kill us all for hidin’ her! They’ll burn us! They’ll drown us like rats!”
This time it isn’t greed motivating them, but fear. They move towards her, an entire mob aiming to grab her, but one swing of Mikasa’s sword and they all pull back. The man whose forearm she sliced cries of pain, clutching his injured limb.
“Nobody lays a hand on her,” Mikasa commands, ready to use that sword as something more than a warning; but then Hange stops her with a hand on her shoulder.
There’s an army looking for her. And only with another army can they have a fair fight.
It hurts to breathe, it kills her to whisper, it’ll destroy her to speak. But she does regardless. “You want me? Fine, you’ll have me. You can do what you like, hand me over, and you’ll be done with it. And then, all there’s left is to wait for the Military Police to kill you.”
“Oi. The fuck are you saying, shitty-glasses?” Levi hisses.
“If not today or tomorrow, then in a few weeks or months, or maybe years,” she continues, ignoring him. “And you know what? Your lives won’t matter to them. They already don’t matter! Does this,” she spreads her arms like broken wings, “feel like living to you? Stealing from one another but too afraid to claim your rights from the big shots? There are silos filled with supplies that can last years and yet you feed on each other!”
“What are you saying?” a voice rises from the crowd. “You’re one of them! You’ve taken from us! You’re the reason it’s happening!”
“That’s right, I was one of them so listen.” She falters, nearly falls. Levi’s shoulder is right there at the next second so she holds onto it with all her might. “So believe me when I say that I know they’re scared of you. The military knows better than anyone to be scared of people who have nothing to lose. So all they do is take from you, and create the illusion that there is always more to lose! You’re so many, you can rise and claim a spot under the sun! I know I will!”
“You’re talking like we’ll let you go.”
“I’m not asking to go anywhere. At least not without you all.” She points upwards. “You’ve never lived on the surface. You better start planning to; and the smart decision would be to have me as your ally. You see, Kenny the Ripper isn’t the Military Police’s strongest asset. I am.”
She can feel Levi staring, aware of what she’s doing, of its risks and the stupidity of it. But Mikasa was right, if she doesn’t fight she won’t live, and maybe the best time to repent is now. And if he can't see it…
“She’s right,” Levi says, to her surprise. “There isn’t a person until now who I haven’t managed to kill, until her. If you sorry scum ever wanted a ride out of here, she’s it. Whoever idiot wants to snitch and turn us in, be my guest, but know you’ll perish here in the slums after everyone else here has taken that bloodied money from your hands.”
The criminals are hesitant, quietly discussing. Whoever wasn’t out on the streets is now at their windows. They’re too far gone, everyone now knows Hange Zoë is in the Underground. Her fate lies in their hands, and it’s dangerous but it’s her only shot.
It’s Flegel Reeves who steps forth then with the final decision, talking with the voice of the people.
“You better hide again. They’ll be coming for retaliation.” Then he turns to the Underground folk, those on the streets and those perched on windows. “And if everyone snitches, they’ll deal with us all!”
Hange smiles at him. His hope is too flimsy to allow him to smile back, but this was a start.
When the Military Police officers arrive, they take people in for interrogating. A bunch of kids, a few thugs, some women of the night. Levi watches from the rooftops, waiting until hours later when they allow them to leave.
The officers enter the creaky elevator vexed and defeated. That’s how he knows that none of the witnesses spoke.
“You’ve gathered a lot of info since you landed here,” Hange marvels at Flegel’s archives, filled with notes he’s kept about the topside’s influence in the Underground.
“First protocol, when someone tries to get out of the Underground,” she reads aloud. “Second protocol, when there’s a riot against the elevator guards. Third protocol, the silos are in danger.” Levi scoffs behind her. Figures that they’d value their fortune over the guards’ lives. Her finger falters at one page, one name. Her smile fades slightly but she covers it under the guise of surprise, keeping her voice steady. She’s sure Levi saw it. “Wow, you even have the guards’ names here.”
“You have to earn the Underground folk’s trust somehow,” he solemnly responds. “Nobody liked me before I worked my ass off to get all that information. So, this is everything I’ve managed to gather this far, but I must ask you something.” He hesitantly glances up at Levi, but Hange dismisses his worries.
“Speak freely.”
He swallows and does. “Do you want us to revolt because it’ll cause an uproar in Sina?”
“That’s right.”
He huffs. “We’re alone now, Hange, there’s nobody else around, so don’t hold back anything, damn it.” He grits his teeth, weighing his words and his fear before he speaks, his panic involuntarily showing. “Are we going to be pawns for your revenge? So that you can get into Sina undisturbed and kill Kenny Ackerman?”
She solemnly shakes her head. “You aren’t pawns to anything. I was telling the truth, wasn’t I?”
“Only because it served your best interests.”
“That’s right; and you better start seeing what serves yours. I don’t hate Kenny Ackerman. Not anymore. I can hardly hate another pawn in this game, especially not when he’s utterly unaware that he’s a pawn. I’ll stop the chess metaphors because it always bored me, they were always Erwin’s thing.” She leans in, supporting her weight on her elbows. “Flegel, we want the same thing. I’m not holding anything back anymore, from anyone, so you have every bit of the truth I can give you. So do we have a deal?”
He contemplates it for a little. If there’s anything that living Underground has taught him, it’s to be cautious with deals and careful with where he puts your hands unless he wants to lose them.
He decides to risk it. Their hands clasp and Hange shakes his. The promise is made.
He clears his throat. “So, with that out of the way. How are you gonna get a thousand plus people up there through those tiny elevators?”
It’s Levi who answers this time. “Obvious. She’s gonna play some chess.”
This time, when she balances on a rooftop, the cold is comforting. There’s no wind Underground, rather than a coolness that invades her skin and joints.
She and Levi are supposedly staking out, but maybe she needs some time to clear her mind. Levi’s presence contributes to the silence. Her head empties faster when he’s there. She knows he’s got her back, she knows he always will, so she allows herself a moment’s rest.
It’s been three weeks since she acquired the Underground’s loyalty, and the guards have already started sensing that something’s stirring under the surface. They hide it as best as they can, but the air is charged with revolution.
“Have you ever felt that before?” she asks. “The revolution all around you.”
“Is that a Topsider’s way to talk about the sewage?”
“It only counts as revolutionary shit if you’ve eaten something other than tea and weeks-old bread. Otherwise it’s just regular old shit.”
“Tch. Gross.”
Hange grins at her victory and sits, letting her feet dangle off the edge. “I asked Flegel to keep every guard alive.”
A pause, during which she listens to the night.
“Are you waiting for me to ask you why?” he asks behind her and she knows his arms are crossed.
“I saw Nanaba’s name in his lists.”
Another pause. “I see.”
“We go way back, me and her. I was the one who introduced her to Mike, you know, even if he said he only picked her in his squad because ‘he saw her skills, and I had nothing to do with it’,” she says with air quotes. “Yeah, we were really close. She left after Mike died and I never saw her again. I guess she hates me now, but then again who doesn’t?”
She hasn’t allowed herself to wonder how every squad member might feel for her now that she’s gone, but now she does. Would Nifa feel betrayed? Would Keiji treat her like another common criminal? Would Rashad wonder what her reasons were?
“She doesn’t hate you,” Levi says quietly. “She just couldn’t be near you.”
She scoffs. “Much better.”
“It is. She didn’t wanna stay and give room to hatred. Some people do that.”
She supposes he’s right. Nanaba might have preferred to bury their friendship quietly instead of setting it ablaze and letting them both burn with it. Hange knows better than to hope, she’s moved well past that point. Still, something comforting and bittersweet like closure settles inside her. A quiet funeral is a gentle way to lose a friend; gentler than death anyway.
“Were you telling the truth before?” Levi asks and this time she turns to look at him.
“About what?”
“Revenge.”
“Of course. We’ve served ourselves enough, Levi, now it’s time to help others reach the freedom we cannot have, don’t you think? Ah, why am I wasting my breath,” she chuckles. “No need to say that. You’ve accepted that already.”
He frowns. “What?” His voice carries an edge.
“The day Marlowe escaped, you said we can’t afford to try and save everyone.” He remembers. Of course he does. “But if there’s anything that working alongside Erwin Smith has taught me, it’s telling apart a lie from a truth. And the truth is that you care a lot, Levi. That has been your weakness.” She hasn't forgotten how he raised Mikasa against all odds or when risked life and limb to get her out of the underground chapel safely. She doesn't stop to ponder how that must mean that she is a weakness to his armour.
“Smith has taught you that? Not your work in the dungeons?” It isn’t a taunt, it’s a genuine question. So she answers it like one, ignoring the slight clenching in her stomach.
“When they bring in prisoners to a torturer, they’re well past the point of caring for the truth. They just want someone to suffer, and I’ve been their right hand on that for too long.”
“Is everything according to plan then, Squad Leader?”
“Almost. We’re one step away from our goal; one very important step away.”
“What else do we need?”
She stands up and looks at the city as though it's her own. Her hands clasp behind her back as she surveys it, and her tone is misleadingly solemn when she responds “a party.”
Kenny Ackerman is tired.
It may have something to do with the excessive stakeouts he and his squad have been ordered to perform every single night, to find those rats hiding in their holes. Kuchel’s boy and Hange.
He should’ve given them more credit. He taught them to be killers, after all. He used to be the best of them all, and what he became after that was the king’s lap dog. And after Uri’s passing, he was passed like a pet to his brother.
“They could be hiding anywhere within the Walls!” an official says, the one who speaks on behalf of the fake king. “We should get search parties looking for them, in every house if needed!”
Rod nods. “What do you think Kenny?”
His heel absently taps the floor. “Where else? Under our noses. That’s what I’d do.”
“The Underground.” The official’s eye glints. “That makes things easier. We can fish them out.”
“How?”
“The exits are numbered,” Reiss says. “If we make them get out, we’ll be sure to find them.”
“Reiss, you can’t be suggesting to get everyone outside!”
“I’m not. But there must be something powerful enough to make sure that they manage to get out, but nobody else will.”
“Oi, oi, oi,” Kenny intervenes. “Are ya nuts? Killin’ everyone in the Underground ain’t needed—besides I don’t wanna go on such a killin’ rampage! Couldn’t even do that when I was young!” His back already hurts at the mere thought of that. Too many bodies, and the Underground’s humidity is no good for his bones.
“You aren’t what’s most powerful inside these Walls, Kenny. You and your team will also be there, and you’ll make sure they burn.”
The Underground hasn’t heard music in a long time. They aren’t particularly good at coordinating, but they’re stirring ruckus and making noise, which is what Hange wanted.
For once, the thugs are absent, hiding, concerning themselves with something other than beating each other up. It wasn’t included in Levi’s list of “how Hange would change his life drastically”, but he finds that a refreshing touch.
Hange was right, revolution is all around them. They’ve waited long enough. Children dance in circles, not quite understanding what’s about to happen, but trusting their parents that they’ll see a new tomorrow.
“We’re gonna see rabbits!” a little girl squeals. “They’re soft!”
“And they have big teeth!” her sister shouts.
“And big ears!”
“That one’s hares,” Levi corrects.
The kids stop spinning, the musicians quit playing. They look at him as if he'll pull out his blade and gut them on the spot. The kids' parents, the man with the drum and the woman with the lute instinctively reach out to their kids. “Why’d you stop?” Levi asks and after a surprised pause, they scramble to continue as if it's to please him and not for cover.
“Have you seen rabbits?” the girl asks him. She's got huge eyes. They don't deserve to only see rock instead of sky.
Levi nods. “They bite. But they’re soft.”
That makes her smile. She and her friends keep spinning, and he finds himself in the alleyways, looking for Hange.
Her voice catches his ear from the other alley. She’s talking to Mikasa before she moves to her designated position. Of course they’re near the musicians, Mikasa always had a fondness for songs and instruments. Her eyes glinted whenever they passed through a fest, but all Levi taught her was to walk the tightrope and juggle knives. No songs; killers needed to be quiet.
“For all it’s worth, you’d have made a great Scout,” Hange says. “I’m sorry you won’t have that chance. You could’ve walked out with my blood money and bought yourself a ticket to freedom. Can’t say I’m sorry about it, but thanks for not killing me I guess.”
Mikasa seems to think about it. “Freedom bought with dirty money wasn’t meant to be mine.”
“Did Levi teach you that?”
“You did.”
With a final smile, Mikasa ascends a building and disappears in the shadows. Hange remains on the ground, looking up. Thinking. Damn him if he knows half of what’s going on in that woman’s head.
Levi approaches from behind and she remains still. She seems to know he’s behind her without having to look.
“How quickly they grow,” she says.
“You’ve known her for a few months,” he retorts.
“You’ve known her for ten years. I assume you can verify my hypothesis based on that.”
When he walks away, she follows him into the seemingly quiet city, windless and cold in the night. The songs are fading.
“Haven’t you missed the sunlight? I have. You know, titans can only move in the sun. When it sets, they remain dormant till the next day.”
She’s talking about titans again, Levi realises, and something warm resides in his chest.
“Tomorrow you’ll be out there again,” he says.
Hange hums in agreement. The promise sounds stupid, like a little kid’s attempt to hide in fantasies from the cruel world around, but they cling onto it regardless. He thinks she’ll leave, that this was their good luck and their farewell, but then she stops.
Then, she removes her eyepatch. She does so absently, as if she’s forgotten he’s even there.
“Shitty-glasses,” Levi says like a warning, to remind her of his presence, make sure it’s what she wants to do. To show him such a vulnerable part of her, a part marred by shame deeper than any harpoon could reach. The wound she got the day Mike died, the day she was made into something she never should have been.
“Clean freak,” she returns. Hange now looks up, basking in the imaginary moonlight that’s just beyond the stone. Then, she turns to him and he remains still, almost unbreathing.
Her left eye.
The skin around it is scarred, patches of paler skin covering old injuries. The cut is sharp across the eye itself. The colour is a mockery of the other eye’s deep brown iris, as if it’s worn off with time in the place of the cut. A thin white line spreads across it, and the iris seems to melt and droop on top.
It’s lightning striking through charged air and clear sky. Intense and life-changing like Hange Zoë herself.
“You’ve probably seen such injuries before.”
He shakes his head. “Not like that. It’s weird.” It’s a testament of survival. Battle scars. He could even call it beautiful.
Hange doesn’t seem offended, on the contrary.
“Can you smile again?” she asks.
“What?”
She pulls a weird grimace. “Smile.”
“Why?”
“It’ll make things easier.”
“What exactly?”
She rolls her eyes with an exaggerated groan. “You’re no fun.”
Her hand slips into his as though she wants to wish him luck, but it stays there. Levi looks up at her puzzled. She’s already looking. Without meaning to, his fingers brush over her scar and she smiles wider.
When she kisses him, it feels like something finally fell into place. It’s the quietest he’s felt in years, as if something in his mind was finally put to rest. It lasts for only a short while before Hange pulls away, and her eyes crinkle and although he’s seen her smile countless times it’s never been like this time.
He realises he’s fisted her shirt, trying to anchor himself into reality. Just over her heart. He doesn't think about loss this time, only about what he'll have if he returns alive, and he will.
“See you on the other side.”
Once upon a time he wouldn't have let her go. They'd both been too scarred to throw themselves into battle again, but this time he understands the duty they chose, the one they share. He trusts her. So this time, he lets her go.