Chapter Text
“Do something, Stark!” Loki hissed, kicking him under the desk. “They’re going to shoot it down!”
“Hold your horses, Lokes,” Tony grumbled, turning the virtual reality headset to the side again, as he flexed his fingers to maneuver.
“Sir, Colonel Rhodes is on the line.”
“Put him through,” Stark replied, as Loki cursed under his breath and reached for his cell phone. “Rho-Rho! What brings you to my speakerphone?”
“Tones, I need your help right now. We got a weapons depot that was just blown up a few klicks from where your boyfriend was being held.”
“Well, I’d say that’s a hot spot. Sounds—” Tony exhaled, ducking his head sharply to avoid the F-22 that dropped into position in front of him, “—like someone stepped in and did your job for you.”
“Why do you sound out of breath, Tony?”
“No reason. Calisthenics. Meditation. Meditative calisthenics.” Tony twirled his fingers, sending the sentry into a sharp dive. “You know.”
“No, I don’t know. Did you just make that shit up?” Rhodes huffed sharply. “That better not be a euphemism for sex—You know what, I don’t want to know.”
Tony exhaled, before turning the controls to execute a barrel roll with his eye movements, careful to keep the prototype steady. “Yeah, probably not. Listen, I’m really busy right now, can I call you back later, maybe—”
“You sure you don’t have any tech in that area I should know about?” Rhodes interrupted. Loki pinched his shoulder, hard.
“Nope,” Tony whimpered, shaking off the other man’s fingers and accidentally sending the sentry into a spin, hissed, “Quit it, Judas!”
“What was that?”
“Nothing!” Tony gritted his teeth, barely managing to pull up from the unexpected descent, only to find himself again flanked on either side by Raptors again.
“Good, because we got a lock on something and we’re about to blow it to kingdom come.” Rhodes declared.
“Wait!” Tony gasped.
Loki covered his mouth with one slim hand, the polymer glove fabric grating against Tony’s goatee. “Colonel Rhodes,” he interjected. “If you will check your mobile now, you will see that I’m in charge of a small operation in this region at present, sanctioned under the appropriate treaties and intelligence organizations, et cetera, et cetera.”
There was a pause, before Rhodes returned to the line. “Tony, your boyfriend is scary.”
“Suck it up, buttercup,” Tony grinned, talking around Loki’s fingers. “Now kindly call off your attack dogs, so my boyfriend will stop pinching me.”
“I don’t even want to know,” Rhodes grumbled, the telltale click disconnecting the call not far behind.
Tony peeled off the headset, and turned in his chair. Loki had that look on his face, that smirk that said he’d thought through this plan better than Tony. That he’d been one step ahead, again.
“Jarvis,” Tony grinned. “Fly our little friend home, willya? Loki and I, we’re going to celebrate.”