Chapter Text
‘Tis a Woman!
The living legend of men’s figure skating, Victor Nikiforov, rose gracefully from the hot spring, the water gliding off his naked body with a splash.
“Yuuri,” he exclaimed and turned with a poetic passion, fully facing the other person—and giving them a lovely X-rated view of himself—“from today on, I will be your coach! I’ll help you win the Grand Prix Final!”
Then he winked, giving his hair a little flip just for some special effects.
The short Japanese woman did not reply. Her eyes were wide and staring at the skating legend with a frozen expression of surprise. The left eye kept twitching.
“…Yuuri?” the silver haired man’s voice was laced with concern.
Katsuki Yuuri stayed silent and frozen. God knew what was going on in her head. She looked a little faint, as though the shock of seeing Victor in all his beauty was too much for her to handle.
“Erm, Yuuri,” Victor probed again.
A sudden thought struck Victor. Does she still not know English, he wondered worriedly, even after competing and training internationally for years?
A flying glove attacked him square in the face.
“What the—“he was quickly cut off by Katsuki Yuuri.
“Hentai,” whispered the Japanese skater, a hand covering her pink face as she shrieked, loudly, “HENTAAIII!”
Another glove hit Victor, and then a giant vase splashed into the hot spring, just five inches from his leg. Young potted plants were then cruelly uprooted from their homes and conscripted as missiles for the Yuuri Katsuki Army’s one-sided war against a silver-haired man.
“Paru-ba-ru-to!” screeched Yuuri in heavily accented English.
In between all the flying objects, Victor could spy Yuuri Katsuki’s face turning redder and redder each second.
…Perhaps, Victor thought—for the first time in his life—, he had been a tad too dramatic?