Chapter Text
Nancy had no god damn clue what she was doing here.
All she knew was that Joyce needed a ride. A ride back to her house to grab supplies for this surprise bonus sister Eleven and Hopper had sporadically picked up in the Upside Down. Who looked to have been run over by a humvee then slapped by about ten demogorgans.
Nancy had the initial thought to say no. The last thing she wanted was to go back to her house where she found her mom… God, she didn’t want to even think about it. If she thought about it for more then a few moments her hands would start to shake. Then her face would get red and blotchy, and before she knew it she’d be sobbing hysterically. And clearly they had no time for an overdue breakdown.
So by all means, refusing felt reasonably appropriate.
But Joyce was looking at her with such conviction, and this sister- Kali-, really did look like she was barely hanging on. And all she could see was her Mother lying on the ground desperately needing help, desperately needing someone to come to her aid. And her world started to go blurry around the edges so Nancy was answering yes and walking to her car before she could even process what she’d done. And by the time she had, she was already on the road with Joyce in the passenger seat. So really, there was nothing she could have done.
But that was then. That was when she could use her mother and a rush of timing as an excuse. Where driving and helping and doing was the only thing keeping her from careening off a cliff.
However now it’s late at night, pitch black outside. So dark you couldn’t see ten feet in front of you. And for some god forsaken reason she’s standing in front of Hoppers cabin, with guns still slung around her shoulders.
She doesn’t even fully remember driving here. Nevertheless the decision too. Time was passing like commercials on tv. One second she was driving to her house, Joyce asking some really unhelpful question like ‘are you okay’, the next she was parked outside. Refusing to go in. Nancy thinks she cried as soon as Joyce closed the door. She doesn’t remember starting, or ending. But she remembers the weight of it. The wetness of tears. The violent shakes of her ribcage folding in on itself from sobbing. Even the odd heated flush when it was over, making her cheeks swell to what must have looked extremely noticeable.
Thankfully. Joyce hadn’t commented on it. Had told her to drop her off where her own car was located. Nancy remembers the chill of wind against her face from a cracked window. Soothing her swollen skin.
She doesn’t remember dropping her off. Not at all. That parts pitch black. Just like her current surroundings. Joyce had just suddenly disappeared from her right. Did she make it to her car? Did Nancy even say goodbye?
Maybe that’s what influenced her to turn the car around. To head in the opposite direction of where the others were. Down the abandoned roads that lead to Hoppers not so secret anymore cabin.
She would go with that, for the sake of having an answer. Simply just wanting to make sure she did actually drop Joyce off. That she had gotten into her car. And was in fact safe. And not laying on the floor, arm outstretched, chest ripped from bone and oozing blood like a gas station bathroom that needing to get its pipes cleaned, desperately waiting for Nancy to find her and-
And then she was there.
Her teeth clicked together in reprimand, correcting herself mentally.
And now she was here.
Time had escaped and run back so fast it was making her dizzy. The surrounding darkness emphasizing the disorientation. Nancy swayed with the rhythm, slamming a hand on the side of her car to stop from toppling over like a dreidel.
Her jaw ached from how hard she was grinding her teeth. And she had to mentally tell herself to stop furrowing her brows. It caused a crease on her forehead that she particularly disliked and she was encouraging herself to stop the habit so it didn’t leave any long lasting wrinkles.
Not that she thought she was currently ugly, nor her mother. Karen wheeler was beautiful. With nary a flaw on her smooth face. Her father on the other hand, who didn’t really care much, possessed quite a few wrinkles. And Nancy didn’t know for sure yet which genes she inherited.
It was hard to say. It didn’t really matter though, wrinkles were so easy to overlook when your guts were all over the floor. Bubbling up your throat and crackling through your teeth as you tried to speak what may be your last-
“Nope!” Nancy slapped herself in the face, not hard enough to leave a mark, just enough to wake up, “Enough of that Nancy. You’re a big girl. Now walk.”
She took two confident steps before vertigo hit her. And there was nothing she could have done to stop promptly projectile vomiting all over Hoppers lawn, some dripping onto her poor shirt. Fuck she’d have to wash it out. Oh well. It had blood on it anyway. Or was that a different blouse? Either way it was getting washed.
If she was off kilter before, purging herself of all fluids made her a complete fucking disaster. The world flickered dangerously. Body moving only by sheer willpower. Some primal instinct to keep it together, to get to the front door. To shrug it off and pretend like she wasn’t seeing black spots dot the corners of her vision.
Bent at the waist, her boots dug into the gravel, finally making contact with the semi rotted wood of Hoppers front porch steps.
Nancy clawed for the railing, nails digging in deep enough to hurt as she heaved herself upwards, step by torturous step. Till she climbed the over glamorized summit onto the main wooden floor.
Of course, Nancy attempted to be polite, she was raised right after all, curling her fingers and knocking on the front door. In reality, she might as well have just punched a hole through it. The sound echoing as loudly.
The wait was agonizing. Every second felt like an hour. Nancy didn’t even realize how bad she truly felt till this very moment. The ache in her throat, esophagus burning from stomach acid. Nose stinging from the smell. Her head pounded something awful, dehydration setting in. She found herself desperate for stability, for some comfort. For her mother. Who would always care for her when she grew ill, even if she was drunk most of the time.
Instead, the front door finally swung open, Joyce gasping at her presence. Nancy would have laughed if it was any other circumstance, she must be quite a sight. Maybe even rivaling Kali’s level of haggardness.
“Nancy…? What?” Joyce could barely spit out the words, Nancy must have looked as decrepit as she felt.
She wanted to plea her case, why did she feel like she was on trial? Maybe to save face? Turn Joyce’s attention to someone who might need it more?
“I threw up.” Nancy said instead, doe eyes glassy and vulnerable, “Um- I’m sorry.”
“Oh- Nancy, sweetheart,” Joyce is reaching out, grabbing the scruff of her collar like she’s a discarded kitten, “Come, come inside. Let’s get you cleaned up. Oh you poor thing.”
Hoppers Cabin is warm, cozy. It smells vaguely of cooked meet and coffee, and Nancy is about to let herself collapse like a sack of potatoes when suddenly, everything that fills her range of vision is inexplicably on fucking Fire.
She screams, actually falling to her knees. Some vague part of her childhood telling her to drop and roll. To extinguish the flames that very much are burning her body to a crisp.
She’s shrieking like a hyena, manically flipping back and forth like that would somehow help her despite the entire damn cabin currently going up in smoke. It’s extremely touch and go with her shotgun still strapped to her body, but you better believe she’s fucking rolling like a log downhill
Holy fuck it’s so bright. She can see her damn skin reddening. Theirs shouting around her and surely Joyce must be in pain too and Holy fuck she’s gonna die this is how she dies she’s gonna burn alive oh my god oh my god-
Like magic, the fire disappears, just as quickly as it came. The world dims dramatically. She can barely register Joyce’s frantic attempts to gain her attention over the drumming of her own heart. Nancy doesn’t even know what’s real or not. Eyes rolling in their sockets, scrunching into a ball just to feel her own skin. An effort to hold any charred remains.
“Nancy! Nancy can you hear me?!” Joyce is crouching down in front of her, stomach to the floor. There are people rapidly talking back in forth in the background. Like if white noise ended up being nails on a chalkboard.
“Nancy!” Hands grip her face, gentle, but firm, forcing her to look into Mrs. Byers eyes, deeply worried, “It’s fake! Whatever you saw isn’t real! It’s just an illusion.”
That somehow makes total sense to her in the moment, completely snapping her out of her catatonic state. If it was an illusion that meant it was Vecna playing mind games with her. And that she had experience in. That she could actually process and attempt to handle. Her nervous system adjusting to shove every single ounce of delirium she had from throwing up out the window in what was no doubt a more dangerous threat.
It must have looked strange, her instant 180. Almost like Jekyll and Hyde. Mrs. Byers looks at her weirdly as she shifts to her knees, standing up without so much as a tremor, lightly dusting off her pants like nothing out of the ordinary happened. But Nancy was consistently calm under pressure. A good trait to have to insure her survival.
Joyce approaches her again, cautiously this time, like she was a bomb about to explode, “Um, Sweetheart? Are you doing okay?”
“Well, as okay as I could be after another Vecna visit,” she takes in her surroundings, finally noting Hopper, Eleven, and the mysterious Kali by the couch, also gaping at her in surprise, “El can you sense him at all? He must be close.”
El opens her mouth, closes it after a moment of hesitation. Lobbing an unsure look towards Hopper, then Joyce. Who both seem just as speechless as her.
Nancy frowned, had she missed something? Maybe she had somehow battled Vecna while she’d been distracted by the flames? It couldn’t have been that easy, right?
Eventually Mrs. Byers breaks the silence, softly placing a hand on her shoulder, “Um, Nancy. Vecna isn’t here.”
“What? What do you mean? He had to have been. Everything was on fire? He’s just in the upside down, El, can’t you try picking up his signal? We should be jumping on this as soon as possible.”
“It wasn’t Vecna,” Hopper interrupted gruffly, avoiding eye contact sheepishly, “It was Kali.”
“Kali?” Nancy’s eyes lock onto Jane’s sister incredulously, who was anxiously playing with her bony fingers, blood staining her face, “How could she be behind it.”
Joyce takes the lead again, semi blocking her field of vision and shielding Kali, “That’s her power. She can make illusions. Extremely lifelike. To the point you can’t tell the difference.”
Heat rushes to Nancy’s cheeks, as she realizes what truly had just conspired. God she had rolled on the damn floor like a dog.
“She didn’t mean it!” El squeaks out behind Joyce, “She just got scared.”
“Really? Of me?” The bitterness in her voice was just every ounce as aggressive as she meant it. Frankly Humiliated after that little performance.
Joyce at least has the sense to look apologetic, nodding in her direction, “It’s the gun. She saw me holding you by the Collar and assumed you were a government solider. Jane and Hopper rushed to explain it to her as soon as it started. To be fair, we didn’t know you were coming so we couldn’t have prepared her.”
Oh. That… actually does make a lick of sense.
Nancy self consciously grabbed the shotguns holster strap, gingerly placing it on the nearby counter, “Well… I guess I can understand that. I didn’t mean to startle her.”
“Of course not sweetie, you were clearly still out of it. I mean you mentioned throwing up.”
It was almost if Mrs. Byers had powers herself, the way just a casual reminder of her previous status could send her careening off balance. In reality, it was probably her body and brain once again registering that she was no longer in imminent danger, and ergo, no longer pumping adrenaline to suppress any other ailments she might have been experiencing.
In the end, it still meant Joyce rushing to her side to brace her, clicking her tongue to signal Hopper moving in on her other side.
“Take it easy kid,” Hopper bit out, perhaps a bit rougher then he intended, “Geez do you ever take a rest?”
“Both my parents are gravely injured and my sister’s missing! When the fuck would I have time to rest?!” Nancy snarls in reply, also maybe harsher than she meant it.
They both were meaner under stress it seemed. Sue them.
The chief gulped, sputtering some nonsensical retort she didn’t bother listening too. She just focuses on the way Joyce’s touch is gentle like she’s made of glass. The way she cards a hand through her curls, how her fingers weren’t as cold as her Moms, but hers scratched bluntly at her scalp in the exact same way she would whenever stressed. It takes everything in her not to god damn moan in relief. Of some sort of familiar comfort that she’s been denying herself of.
Her body sags further and the two adults wordlessly make their way over to the couch, randomly adding in assurances that she’d be okay. Joyce’s notably more kinder than Jim’s.
It’s like her body’s switched to autopilot. Only recognizing the most extreme changes. The main focal point being to breathe, and not throw up again. Which truly would have been a feet considering she’s certain she emptied out her entire stomach contents outside.
The couch is soft, worn in. The type you know has been well loved. It’s not like the fancy one her Mom enlisted in keeping clean at all times at home. The lights turn blinding, piercing her poor corneas and leaving her with a migraine, scrunching her eyes closed and naturally turning her head away. It meets the smooth expanse of Joyce’s shoulder, who still hasn’t stopped raking her blissful fingers in her perm.
“Shhhh,” she croons, a tranquil sparrow tucking her mind under her wing, “Rest now sweet girl, I’ve got you.”
Nancy’s out like a light before she can even begin to protest.
….
She dreams of nothing. A flash of red here and there. But the sleep is deep. Nancy only doesn’t dream when she’s really tired, like two full all nighters due to insomnia tired. With everything going on she must have not noticed how affected she really was.
She can tell someone’s watching her before she opens her eyes.
It must be that natural phenomenon people get. Like the mandala effect. But she knows, right when her consciousness is about to snap back to life, that she is not alone.
For a brief moment she wonders if they’ll leave. If she could wait it out. But a full minute passes, and the feeling of someone looming overhead does not disappear. Grows too obvious to ignore. So decides to just face it head on. It’s probably Joyce anyway wanting to make sure she’s okay.
When she finally does welcome in the light, the first thing she sees are eyes of deep rich Mahogany. Maybe Oak if she really took her time with it. Very much not Joyce’s eyes.
They were beautiful.
She blinks, and it’s Kali sitting by her bedside with eyes so magical. Or well, couch side to be more specific.
Kali doesn’t seem embarrassed at all to have been caught watching. So she must have been told to do so, most likely by a concerned Mrs. Byers.
Nancy blushes first, shifting upwards somewhat awkwardly, “Um, Hi?”
Kali sways in greeting, “Ello.”
Theirs a curl of a British accent in her voice. It’s somehow haunting in a way. A tragic melancholy. Nancy finds herself wanting to hear more for no detectable reason.
Still, this is a stranger watching her sleep, so she presses back into the worn fabric of the crouch, clutching the blanket thrown over her to her chest, “Your Kali, right?”
“Yes.”
She waits for some type of follow up, some context. Quickly realizing that the later wasn’t going to provide any. Her hands are sweaty, tiny puddles gathering in her palms. She wipes them on blanket, hoping Kali doesn’t notice.
“I’m Nancy,” she blurts out, shoving a now (hopefully) dry hand forward, “Nice to meet you.”
Kali looks at the limb curiously. And Nancy’s chest squeezes in fear that she won’t take it. That she’s making a fool of herself. God, why is it so hot? Did Hopper light a fire somewhere? Was this Kali messing with her mind all over again?
“Dottie,” the girl murmurs, gently entwining their hands, adding a small flick of her wrist.
Nancy’s way too distracted by how soft her hand feels to notice the mistake, how despite the calluses and cracks running through the palm and pads of her fingers, there’s a certain smooth quality, like crushed velvet.
Her eyes snap upwards, discerning she’s been staring at their interlocked fingers for far too long to be deemed appropriate, yanking her hand away like she’s been burned.
Heat scrapes up her neck, “Um- I- sorry- sorry.”
Kali laughs, amused by her antics, it sounds like dandelions in the wind. Nancy has no idea how the fuck a laugh can sound like flowers. She thinks she’s having a stroke.
“S’Okay.” She whispers back. A faintest hint of a smile.
It makes her stomach flutter like it’s full of butterflies. Nancy feels like a fucking schoolgirl again and doesn’t know why, anxiety creasing her brow. Making her overthink.
She averts her gaze, blinking rapidly, coughing a couple times to hide it. This isn’t going at all how she thought. It’s like trying to impress the popular girls all over again. Nancy hasn’t needed to do that in years, quickly realizing how much of a sham it was when Barb died. Oh god. Barb.
She needs to get away from here. Needs to find Joyce. Why is this random girl watching her anyway? That’s like, kinda creepy, right? Most people would find a random person watching them sleep creepy? That’s the normal human reaction? Except she doesn’t feel as uncomfortable as she should feel. Not like when she found out Jonathan was taking pictures of her half naked like a perv. No, she doesn’t feel like that. No spiders up her spine. No flicker of fear in the back of her mind. Nancy just feels unsteady, and clearly for the wrong reasons if she hasn’t demanded an explanation by now. In fact, she should do that. She should totally fucking do that. She really needs to start talking.
“You called me Dottie?” Nancy asks instead. Ignoring the raging inferno in her mind screaming how stupid she’s being.
Kali winces, caught off guard. It seems she didn’t know what she’d said either. She tries to speak, but a jumble of letters fall out instead. She tries again, more desperately this time. Neck muscles flexing with the strain. Her cheeks are darkening and Nancy’s alarmed to find tears welling in her eyes.
“Hey! Hey it’s okay, I’m sorry,” all thoughts of self preservation are thrown at the window as she reaches out again, re connecting their hands, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. You don’t have to explain if it’s too personal. I’m sorry I asked.”
Except this only partially calms Kali down. She starts flipping through a nearby journal with her free hand, slapping open a blank page on the couch cushion next to Nancy with reckless abandon. Grabbing a spare pen. The tip is posed, ready to write, but something’s wrong. Kali can’t seem to write down what she’s trying to say. She whimpers, a lone tear tracking down that she wipes away angrily.
“Hey, hey please it’s okay. I’m sorry you don’t have to get upset.” Nancy is slipping off the couch, guilt strangling her lungs. She slides up right next to Kali, knees digging into the floor, and shoulders pressed close so she can try and see what she’s trying to write, “Just take a second to breath, theirs no rush. Should I get El?”
“Sister.” Kali automatically repeats. Theirs some meaning behind it, something she’s trying to imply, quite harshly by how fast she was to say it. But Nancy can only interpret so much by tone. She needs more than just a word.
Kali flinches when she stands up, and she scolds herself for moving so quickly. Nancy keeps forgetting that Kali also was in the lab with Eleven. And apparently was again, if the small amount of information she got from Hopper and Joyce was correct. She probably saw everything as a threat. Nancy didn’t want to be one of them.
She doesn’t let herself mull over her guilt however, Kali was in distress. And El might be the only person who could understand her.
Thankfully, the three of them aren’t far. The cabin, while cozy, isn’t necessarily big. So there wasn’t too many spots they could have been hanging out.
Joyce sees her first, jolting and moving forward, “Nancy! Are you okay? Do you need to throw up again? Are you dizzy at all?”
Honestly Nancy had forgotten she’d thrown up. Her nose wrinkles up as she smells the dried stains on the front of her blouse. Oh god, she’d talk to Kali like this. She could have not looked any worse for the wear. The thought made her want to right another demogorgan then face the embarrassment.
Holy fuck, why did that even matter?! It shouldn’t! Nancy should not care what Els random sister thought of her after she made her think she was burning alive. She needed to get a fucking grip on herself.
She shook herself back to attention, “No, I’m okay. I just need El. Or well, Kali needs her.”
“Kali?” Jane’s immediately on her feet, “Is she okay?”
“Did she pass out?” Hopper adds on with a sense of urgency.
Nancy realizes that they wouldn’t be able to see Kali from their position, with her kneeling on the floor, the top of the couch would have covered up her head from their site-lines.
“She didn’t pass out. She just um-? Actually I have no idea. She’s trying to write something. I don’t understand. I asked if she wanted El and all I got was ‘Sister’ back so Elevens my best guess here.”
Eleven’s face goes stony, Hopper and Joyce exchange glances that communicate way more than she could ever interpret. Nancy just shrugs helplessly, hoping that someone will take mercy on her and know how to help the increasingly distressed girl by her hip.
Jane crosses the distance in what seems like three steps. The adults hanging back, trusting her to be able to fix whatever was happening. Nancy looks to them for some guidance, but they decline her, albeit sympathetically. Clearly she was on her own here in terms of figuring this out. And if she were to get any answers, it would be from El.
El crouches down next to Kali, huddling close and trailing gentle hands down the nape of her neck. She whispers something against her ear, most likely on purpose so Nancy couldn’t hear.
Nancy doesn’t know whether she should leave or not. Was she expected too? Would it make things worse?
Kali makes a noise, and when she looks back they’re both staring at her.
Nancy blanks, mouth running dry.
But El is speaking before she can think of something to say, “That’s Nancy.”
Nancy recoiled, was she the cause of Kali’s pain?
“You can make illusions right?!” She blurt out somewhat desperately, “Just, magic them up! Make me see what you’re thinking- I- I swear I don’t mind I just feel bad I swear I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Kalis eyes grew to the size of saucers, rapidly shaking her hands in front of her. Rejecting the idea.
El squirmed beside her, once again her translator, “She doesn’t want to use her powers on you. Too afraid from last time.”
Right. The whole fire thing. At the moment Nancy had been pretty infuriated, but she’s definitely reconsidering it now. Kali had probably been terrified she’d been found, and too realize she hurt another one of her sister’s friends in vein? Yeah, she could understand the guilt.
“Oh,” The curly haired girl slowly sits criss crossed on the floor in front of them; opening her body to appear as non threatening as possible, “I don’t blame you for that Kali. I know what guilt feels like. Especially the guilt of hurting a friend… but I promise I’m not upset about that.”
No one had an answer to this. Nancy decided to just let it go once she saw the two of them resuming their previous task. El whispering things into her ear for Kali to scribble out.
She could feel her teeth dig into her bottom lip, her esophagus clenching from the burning desire to know what was going on.
“Can she not write?”
The glare she received was nearly villainous. Jane sneering while Kali quivered beside her, head tilting downwards in shame.
Heat filled her cheeks, worse then her warmth of her curiosity, pupils shrinking to pinprick’s as she realized just how inconsiderate that sounded, “Oh- Oh god I’m- I’m so sorry. I don’t know why- I shouldn’t have said that. That was, so rude of me. Jane I’m so sorry.”
“Not me,” Elevens sneer turned into a full on scowl.
Crap, she really couldn’t stop putting her foot in her mouth.
“O-Of course, fuck, I’m sorry Kali. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I genuinely just think the dehydration got to me, it’s making me impulsive. Not that that’s an excuse.”
“She can write,” El supplies, voice dropping to a ghost of a solemnity, “It’s hard. Hop says it’s blood loss. Joyce says… something about the brain. Mixing things? Hard to find the right words.”
Nancy doesn’t know if she’s allowed to speak, so she just nods instead. Quietly accepting the information. It makes sense. Hell they even tell you to take it easy for the day after donating half a pint at Red Cross, it sounded like the government practically drained Kali. For who knows how long. Nancy wasn’t a doctor by far. But even she knew form basic science class in high school that large amounts of blood loss can cause severe side effects. Including lost senses.
Kali gently nudges Jane again, pointing at what she wrote on the paper. Jane’s eyes scrunch, looking at her to confirm that’s what she wanted to say.
“Nancy.”
You could cut the tension with a knife. Nancy had never been more at a loss for words. Was she supposed to reply? Was this some sort of test?
“Yes?” Her voice pitches upward in question.
Kali growls at the page, the muscle in her jaw twitching, “Dottie.”
Recognition washes over Elevens face, Nancy can see the exact moment it happens. Her brows slant upwards, lip trembling just so, bitten back by her teeth. She looks crestfallen, like she got the wind kicked out of her. Something big is lobbed behind that name. And somehow Nancy triggered it.
“Kali, this is Nancy. Not Dottie.”
Kali moans in dismay, jabbing angrily at the page, “Dottie!”
“Should I go?” Nancy dares to ask, “Am I making it worse?”
El refuses her quickly, focus back on her sister in a heartbeat, “Kali. Dottie isn’t here. This is Nancy. Dottie is-“
-“No!” Kali slammed her fist down, knuckles grating against the hardwood floors, she pressed into it, welcoming any pain that followed, “No. Sister. I know.”
Jane rushes forward in a vibrant flurry, prying Kalis hand up from the floor and cradling it like a piece of glass. Ever so lightly coaxing each finger open from its white turning grip. Nancy bit back a gasp at the bloody crescent mark indentations left behind. Slowly welling crimson till it pooled enough to run in minuscule streams.
Jane looked to Nancy, looking close to tears, “Bandages. Please.”
“No.” Kali stated again, “Trash.”
“Trash?” Nancy mulls the word over her tongue. As if tasting it. Trying to figure out the meaning behind it.
“Bandages Kali. Your hurt. You’re bleeding.” El sounds like she’s begging. Kali’s growing more reclusive by the second, she could practically see the walls going up in her mind. Even without illusions.
“Trash.”
“Do you mean waste?” Nancy doesn’t know how she came up with that. Thought occurring mere seconds before she said it. But Kali snaps to attention, nodding rapidly.
She frowns, finally getting what the girl wants to say, “Kali. Bandages on you would not be a waste. Your hurt. When someone’s hurt, they need to be healed. Cared for.”
“Dottie… I… Sssorry.” The illusionist struggled to form the word, but she managed to push it out through whistling teeth.
“I’m not mad Kali. Theirs nothing to be sorry for. Like I said I understand earlier.”
“Please sister. Your hurt.” El is straight beseeching her now, Nancy thinks it’s more about seeing Kali in distress, rather then the present injury. Which, in retrospect, wasn’t that bad. The blood already seemed to be slowing down. It was the principle however, that was more important. Kali would live without a bandage. But she shouldn’t have too. Not to mention anything that breaks skin could get infected, with an especially high risk to wounds on the hand, which touches just about everything.
“El,” Nancy pivots to Jane, “Why does-“
“Sister!” Kali cuts off, enraged, just as she’d done before. It’s twice now. A pattern, something in what Nancy said is triggering her, “Sister, Dottie.”
She relents, “Okay then. Something about me saying El is upsetting you. I can see this. I hear you Kali. What works for you? Do you want me to say sister?”
“No.”
“How about Eleven?”
And even sterner, “No.”
“Jane?”
At this, the later reacts positively. Pointing at Jane and echoing the best she could, “Ja-m.”
Jane blinks curiously, glancing at the two of them, “She… doesn’t like when we’re called by our numbers. I forgot that. She always calls me Jane.”
“She calls you sister because she can’t pronounce Jane yet,” she speaks in time with her understanding, eyes lighting up, “And so of course, any time I said it, it would annoy her. Kali I think I’m starting to get how your brains working right now.”
It’s a complete reversal, Kali looks downright giddy. Clapping her hands in excitement. Nancy only flinches slightly, still wary of the blood on her palm, which has now spread to the other. A couple micro droplets splatter on Jane’s cheek but she doesn’t seem to notice.
Nancy points at herself, “What’s my name?”
Kali, slaps her pointer finger down on the notebook, Nancy. But the name she says is different, “Dottie.”
Something’s lodged with that name. Something powerful.
Nancy rotates back to the youngest, “Jane, what’s the meaning behind Dottie? Why does she keep calling me that? Do you know?”
The name, whatever it means, affects Jane as well, the girl wilting like a dehydrated flower, “Dottie was Kali’s friend. When I first met her. She… she was nice. They all are…. Dottie kinda looks like you. With the hair. Both big.”
“Okay… okay! That would explain it. Your brains just mixing me and Dottie up because we look similar. Subliminally you know I’m Nancy, but some deeper unconscious part is holding on to Dottie. It makes sense since she’s your friend. I bet you miss her, that’s a strong emotional attachment. But I’m sure once this is over you’ll be able to find her again, I mean, at least Jane could with her powers and- … Kali?”
She trailed off, pupils shrinking. During her revelation, Kali had started to silently cry, shoulders trembling with the restraint of holding back.
Kali became agitated once the attention was back on her, violently wiping at her eyes, smearing the small amount of eyeliner she had on till it stained around dark circles, making her look even more malnourished then before.
Jane tried to stop her, when it was clear the tears weren’t slowing down any time soon, Kali’s fists only growing more volatile against her skin; rubbing it raw. The drying blood transferring to her face, like some type of battle paint.
“What’s wrong?” Nancy panicked, scrambling to her knees, unsure if she should be helping, or getting backup, “What did I say wrong? What should I do?”
But Jane couldn’t respond. She was too busy trying to pin Kali’s hands to her side, whispering words so fast it blurred together into an unintelligible stream. It spoke of Kali’s willpower, Jane was at least a full head taller than her now. And had a plethora of strength and stamina in compared to Kali’s nearly sickly form. Stripped of what Nancy could only assume was loads of required daily nutrients for months. Maybe year’s depending on how long ago she was caught. That’s not even including being drained of dangerous amounts of blood every day. The fact Kali was able to fight Jane off at all was more than impressive, it was terrifying.
It meant there was some part of her mind that couldn’t resist the need to cause harm, that couldn’t find safety even in her family’s arms. It was like watching an animal, fighting for their very life from predators. It shouldn’t be like this.
“Kali!” Nancy whisper shouted, reaching out and snagging the laters wrists in a tight grip, their combined efforts finally putting and end to her catatonic state, “You need to take a deep breath.”
Kali just warbled miserably, like she couldn’t possibly understand what she was going through, it was probably true, but still.
“Trash,” she choked out with a sob, “I’m… trash. Dottie- I, M’Sorry.”
Something occurred to Nancy in that moment, something so obvious that she was kicking herself for not realizing before, “Jane?… What happened to Dottie?”
Jane hissed as she flinched away, shaking her head back and forth, “Nancy… I can’t-“
“Jane. I need to know what happened to Dottie. It’s why this is so hard for Kali. I just want to help. Please.”
Jane went still, Kali following soon after. Like the fight had just been zapped from both their bodies. It at least meant Nancy could stop holding Kali back. She didn’t like doing that any more then she bet the girl liked experiencing it.
The brunette sighed, giving one last apologetic look towards her sister, “Nancy… Dottie is gone.”
While she had suspected it at Kali’s second apology, hearing it out loud took the wind out of her lungs, “Gone how?”
“Killed. By Dr. Kays men,” Jane couldn’t look her in the eyes, “Kali saw it all. All of them. Her friends. It was before they took her to the lab.”
The world narrows out, spiraling to tunnel vision, black static filling her brain and ears. All she could see was the defeated look on Kali’s face. The pure agony hidden behind her eyes. The knowledge that you were the sole reason every single one of the people you love were dead.
Oh god. Barb.
Nancy lurches forward, moving before she can even think, pulling Kali into a hug so tight it would take an army to pull her away. She can feel her spasm, feel the instinct to flee, but eventually coming to a standstill, letting her head rest tiredly on Nancy’s shoulder. Aching with the weight of grief.
“I’m so sorry,” Nancy croaked out, tears pushing past her lashes, “Oh god, Kali I’m so fucking sorry.”
A weight joins her side and she knows Jane is hugging her sister as well. Like their sandwiching Kali with as much love and comfort as they can.
Kali trembles initially, trying not to break down, maybe to avoid thinking about the their deaths, the heavier painful topics. But Nancy only hugs her tighter, offering herself as a blanket of support.
“It’s okay to miss them. It’s not your fault though Kali, ya know? They chose to be your friends. It was Kay that killed them. Not you. You’re allowed to grieve them. To remember them. That’s how they live on. By not forgetting them. It’s okay to want them back.”
And maybe it’s these words, that Nancy knows by heart, that does her in. Or maybe just the feeling that she’s safe enough to let go. But Kali no longer holds back her tears. She fists Nancy’s dirty shirt, and coughs out a sob. Burying her eyes into the junction of Nancy’s neck, somewhat muffling the sound of her deep soulful cries.
She feels Jane pull away temporarily, Hopper and Mrs. Byers must have heard the commotion and come over to see what was going on. Judging by how fast the girl rejoined the embrace, she must have waved them off quite vigorously.
Kali’s cries are too familiar. Nancy remembers crying the same. It becomes overwhelming in a way. Old feelings pressing at her ribcage. Compacting her lungs. In an effort to comfort her, Nancy starts talking. Unable to just sit their while the sounds of her tears echoed into her skull.
“I lost someone too,” Nancy starts, voice already wavering, fuck she isn’t going to make it without crying herself is she, “Her name was Barb- Barbara. Barbara holland. She’s my- was, my best friend. She’ll always be. Fuck. I-… it was years ago. I was stupid, just a stupid freshman. Desperate to be part of the cool kids. Who, weren’t really cool. I wanted to be with Steve then. You’ll meet him later. He knows about everything and all. But there was this dumb party. And I brushed Barb off… I’ll never forgive myself for that. But she was all alone when it got her. A demogorgan. One that took will. But it killed her. Fucking ripped her apart. Brenner and his men all covered it up and I just, if I just had stayed with her, if I just had fucking stayed she could-“
She couldn’t continue, biting her lip hard enough to draw blood. Feeling twin streams dripping down her face. She felt Jane press a hand to her back, an attempt to sooth.
“It was me who opened the gate,” Jane whispered, barely audible, “That’s how it got through. If… if someone was wrong. It was me.”
Nancy pushes away from Kali in shock, looking at Jane with wide eyes. She still braced the later against her shoulder, not letting her fall forward.
“El- Jane! You can’t- that’s not, that’s not your fault! You couldn’t control that. You didn’t know!”
“But I still did it,” the youngest couldn’t meet Nancy’s eyes, ashamed, “If it wasn’t for me-“
-“Puh!” Kali huffed out, startling the two of them from their sudden twist to the blame game.
They exchanged a sheepish glance, neither one wanting to say they couldn’t understand what she meant.
Kali paused, stemming her tears against her forearm. Trying to mold the syllables through whatever disconnected state her mouth was currently in.
“Puh- aw. Ugh! Paw! Paw, paw!”
“Papa?” Jane guessed with raised brows.
Kali grunted in agreement, making a little clicking noise with her tongue.
Unfortunately eleven couldn’t locate a reason for this, “Kali? What’s wrong with Papa?”
“I don’t think anything’s wrong with him,” Nancy pipped up carefully, daring to touch on the sensitive topic, “besides the obvious of course. But we were talking about faults Jay, first Barb. Which linked to you and the gate to the upside down. But, you didn’t open the gate willingly, did you? Kali’s right. It was Pa- er, Brenner that made you. This is his fault. All of it. He made you guys, or kidnapped you. He caused everything. If anyone is to blame it’s him.”
She focused back in on Kali, who still was marginally distraught, “Kali, what I mean to say with all of this. Is that you’re not alone with your feelings of guilt. I feel them too. But both of these things were out of our control. We didn’t kill our friends. Other things, other people, did. And it’s- god. It’s fucking horrible. But it’s okay to think of them. And it’s okay to feel bad about it. Just as long, just as long as you truly remember, deep down. That it’s not our fault. It wasn’t. And they wouldn’t want you to think that. Or torture yourself over it. I know Barb… I know she wouldn’t. She was my best friend. She’d want me to be happy.”
The laters eyes were unfocused. Fogged over and glassy. But she had finally stopped crying. And she wasn’t hurting herself. In fact she appeared calmer than she’d been in a while.
Nancy wasn’t sure if Kali believed her. Or if it all had gone in one ear and out the other. But she was choosing to believe that it helped in some way. At least giving her the space to really grieve her friends, in a non judgmental environment, for what was possibly the first time.
She made sure to catch her gaze, nodding down to her palms with a patient grin, “Now. If you’re done mentally beating yourself up. I think we should get your hands patched up. At least to clean them off. Ya know? Jane? Do you think-“
-“Ive got it!” Jane jumped to the rescue. Bouncing to her feet and running off towards Hopper and Joyce. Loud calls for ‘Bandages’ easily overheard in the open cabin.
Nancy couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped her. Amused by the kids enthusiasm after what had been an incredibly grueling moment. She herself felt fatigued, like she’d just run a Marathon underwater while beating off a swarm of bees. Talking about Barb always did that too her. But each time it always hurt just a little less. And somewhere, maybe a bit foolishly, she felt like that was Barb from up above giving her permission to live on in her wake. To be happy again.
“Thanks, Dottie.”
Nancy’s perm flared as she spun around, always a little caught off guard every time Kali spoke. She had very limited vocabulary, but it seemed sometimes she was able to put together a phrase or two, if simple enough.
“Of course,” she replied on habit, eyes narrowing, “Do you feel okay? I really hope you know I wasn’t trying to offend you in any way. I didn’t know how much dot-… she meant to you.”
Kali shrugged, staring at her palms, “S’okay. Mick more an’way.”
Nancy held her tongue this time, knowing better now than to ask about mysterious friend name drops. She did, however, endeavor one question.
“Was Mick a steve? Is that more?”
She bit back a flinch as Kali suddenly looked directly at her, nearly into her soul, “More.”
Nancy got it. She did. Truly. Whether Mick had been a barb or a Steve, she remained close to Kali’s heart. Closer than Dottie’s.
It was clear though that all of Kali’s friends held a special place in her mind. They had been there for her when no one else had. Been through things together Nancy could only imagine. And for that she was grateful. That Kali at least found some people who she could trust. For as long as they’d remained amongst the living. She hoped that one day Kali could trust again. Find others like her.
She’d be stupid to pretend like she didn’t want to be one of them.
But for now, she’d give Kali whatever space she needed. As intriguing as she was. Kali needed time. Just like she had when Barb passed. Time didn’t fix wounds completely. But it lessened the sting. Made it bearable enough to keep going.
“I’m honored. By the way. To remind you of her. Even if it’s just looks.”
Kali’s shoulders dropped from where they’d been hunched up. She took it as a sign that her words had been the right ones. Maybe they were making progress?
A thought popped into her mind. Maybe a stupid one. But she found it worthy enough to try.
Nancy reached out, grabbing Kali’s notebook. Flipping it around so her name showed outwards. To the laters growing confusion.
“I want to try something, if it doesn’t work. That’s okay too.”
She wouldn’t push if Kali refused. But thankfully, Kali gave permission with a hesitant wave.
“I’m Nancy.” She gestured to herself, “Now I know you know that. And maybe you can even say it once we get to that step. But your problem is that somewhere the brain signals are corresponding with your mouth. Like a combo of Aphasia and Apraxia. To be honest. You most likely had a stroke.”
Kali made a whirring noise, head tilting in a gesture of confusion. Nancy realized that she might have no idea what a stroke is, nevertheless remember ever having one.
Fuck. How was she going to explain that?
She giggled awkwardly, racking her brain to find suitable phrases and comparisons. She kept forgetting that Kali basically had no formal education. And everything she learned was through Brenners fucked up lab or quite literally picked up on the streets.
Nancy started to sweat, her lack of answers only ramping up Kali’s anxiety. She hoped she wasn’t sweating through her shirt or anything. - speaking of her shirt.
“Okay. I promise I’ll explain everything. But first, I really need to get out of this fucking shirt. And burn it. For real this time.” She winked to make sure Kali knew she was joking. Who let out what could only be a pity chuckle. Eyeing the state of her blouse.
She walked up to Joyce and Hopper, who were doing really bad at pretending they weren’t trying to listen in.
“Hey Mrs. Byers, do you have any extra shirts? I’m quite ready to chuck this one in the incinerator.”
The woman lit up, happy there was something she could actually help out with, “Why yes dear! Check out the edge of the little table over there. That’s all the clothes Kali didn’t want or didn’t think would fit. Considering it came from your place I’m certain there should be one of your old shirts.”
“Thanks!” She grinned, peering around the room, “Where’s Jane?”
“Out by the shed in the back,” Hopper answered gruffly, lips nearly glued to the mug of coffee he was holding, “We keep extra supplies there. Medical things, tools. The general. I have a couple things in here but she insisted we get the ‘fancy’ stuff for Kali.”
“That definitely sounds like her. Do you mind if I change in Jane’s room?”
“Knock yourself out kiddo. I’ll let her know your in their if she gets back before your done.”
She waved them off with another grateful smile, eagerly heading over the table where the abandoned suitcase lay. She was genuinely curious about whatever Joyce picked up, as she had not been inside with her when she gathered supplies.
Nancy was decently surprised, in the short time Mrs. Byers had been in the house she’d gathered quite the amount of items. If the amount did rejected things were something to go by. Thankfully she didn’t spot anything near or dear to her. But her eyes did land on a camo shirt of mikes. Which seemed perfectly acceptable for their current situation. She grabbed it, along with a spare pack of wet wipes. Nancy hadn’t washed up in what felt like ages, so they would have to do.
When she emerged ten minutes later, face wiped down and shirt clean, she was practically a brand new person.
Even Kali could tell, brows raised when she bounced over to her and Jane, who was tending to her left palm.
Kali made a peace sign with her free limb, making it hop a few times in the air. Nancy snorted when she recognized it as a Bunny, poking fun at her new personality.
“Well what can I say, all a girl really needs is a shower and a wardrobe change.”
Both were gross exaggerations, but it still wrangled another beautiful laugh out of the girl in front of her. Something deep inside her ached warmly when she discovered it sounded a lot like how Barbs used too.
Oh god, was that why Kali affected her so much? She reminded her of Barb?
But that couldn’t be it? She refused that idea despite the laugh. Tracking Kali up to a Barb replacement felt like an insult to both people. Barb was wonderful. Barb would always be her best friend. But Kali was different.
She wasn’t sure how. But personality wise at least there were varying degrees of opposition. For one, Barb would never be caught dead in the outfit and makeup Kali so fondly adored. Even if it was all donated.
Oh- fuck. Horrible choice of words. Nancy quickly sent a silent prayer in her head for Barbs soul. She was not one to be religious. But if it meant Barb got to live in some metaphorical paradise she’d do it every time. For her sake.
Jane signaled she was done, reaching out for the other hand. Kali looked at the finished product, lip quirking up in amusement. Jane had applied gauze and then wrapped bandages around, adorning the top of it with a multitude of sparkly star bandages. 100% overkill, but oh so Jane.
“Coo, C-Cool?” Kali tries, almost a question in itself.
Nancy flashes an encouraging smile, “Yes! Cool. Good job.”
Jane beams, throwing her arms around Kali for yet another hug. Nancy doesn’t think she’s ever seen her so affectionate. Even towards her brother. Family must have really just brought out her inner child, the one that wants to love.
“I can’t help with your speech completely,” Nancy speaks sheepishly, part of her feeling like she already failed her, “That most likely will need a professional. But I can sense you wouldn’t want that right now. But both Mike and Holly had some type of lisp when they were young. And well, I have a friend, her names Robin. Also in the know. I think she has a friend who works in a medical place. She might be able to also feed me some information on ways to help. For now. What I can suggest is taking each word one step at a time. Really breaking it down. Even if it takes you longer. I won’t mind. And if anyone else does. Just tap me twice and I’ll punch them in the face.”
Kali’s lips form an ‘O’, mock punching with her free hand.
The tension leaves her shoulders, cracking a half smirk, “Yes, I’d punch them. No hesitation. And if that didn’t work I’m sure Jane here would, I don’t know, be happy to insta explode them with her mind or something?”
Jane nods along emphatically, Nancy points and plasters an overdramatic smile. Boosting their support to a comedic level.
Kali snorts, raising both hands in a pacifying manner, as if to say ‘please spare me!’
Jane reaches for Kali’s unbandaged hand, gently repeating the process, “I struggled with words too…. After Vecna. You remember. When we first met again. Hop taught me many words. Joyce and school made me even better. If I can learn. You can learn. I’ll help you.”
“You seem to understand what we’re saying fine. And most of the words you can say are accurate, aside from a few mixed up. So the aphasia seems less severe then the apraxia. Writing might be a little hard for you as well. That can be practiced easily. You’ll regain a lot of strength once you’ve rested and eating regularly again. As for the physical speech, I’m more than happy to help you go over things you want to say. And for when I’m not there, try really breaking down the word. Think about what exactly you want to say. Then how many syllables it has, or how many beats it takes to say it. The actual sounds might be the problem. Your motor skills are very inhibited right now. But me and Jane can recruit Joyce? We can go down a list of all the sounds. And what each letter can come out as. Flash cards might help too. Something visual? I don’t want to overwhelm you, so please tell me if I’m saying too much.”
Kali squints, holding her finger and thumb together, a little. But her eyes are thankful. She’s excited to learn. Wants to speak again. Even when put at a disadvantage Nancy can see the fire within her.
Speaking of fire, “Oh! I totally forgot. One last thing before we can talk about something else. I mentioned that I was Nancy earlier. Unconsciously, your minds saying Dottie. So any time you look at me. I want you to think of something only I could relate too. To help separate us. I was thinking, if it’s not too bad, you think of fire. Because, let’s be honest, even I’ll never forget rolling across the floor like a dog with rabies.”
Both sisters laughed, moved on from whatever resignations they had about the ordeal. Nancy was glad she was able to alleviate any guilt Kali might have had. With all the stuff she was dealing with it was pointless to have her worry about something Nancy was not longer mad about.
She thought hard for a moment, biting her lip in concentration, “My name is easily two syllables. But can he three. Picture the Nuh- from when you say No, but with out the o.”
She waited a beat, eventually waving a hand to signal Kali to repeat.
The muscle in Kali’s jaw flared, but she complied shakily, “Um, Nnnnuh?”
“Awesome! And for the middle. Try saying Ant. Like the bug. You can focus on making the t as silent as you want in the future. Just one syllable.”
“Ann- An, Ahnnt.” With Kali’s accent, it made ant sound more like Aunt; but Nancy certainly wasn’t complaining.
She pumped a thumbs up, edging her on, “Great! And the last part, just say the letter C. Or picture Seeing someone. C. Ceeeee. Emphasize the eeeee part in it. It’s similar to the ending of Dottie. If that helps.
“Tieee. Teee. Ctee?” Kali blushed, frowning when she couldn’t successfully remove the T sound from the variable.
Nancy grabbed her hand, squeezing it and refusing to let her hide away, “Kali. You’re genuinely doing amazing. I don’t want you to feel embarrassed. You’ve been through hell. It would have been illogical for you to emerge unscathed. This isn’t going to fix immediately. It’s going to take time. But I’ll be here. To help. If you need me.”
Kali didn’t reply for a while. Eventually whispering, “Why?”
Her face burned. Like she was set on fire all over again. Why was she so invested in Kali? Promising her time when her sister wasn’t even found yet? When her parents were both fighting for their lives in the hospital? When at any moment they could pass and join Barb wherever her soul went to-
She grit her teeth. Refusing to think like that, instead looking up with determination, “Because you deserve someone to be there for you. Because no one deserves to be alone. And if I don’t decide to remember that I’m not alone either, I might just go insane trying to find holly. And that won’t help her anymore then it is already.”
Kali hummed, flipping her book open to a previous page. Where she had scribbled a message for Joyce. She stabbed a finger right against the ‘thanks.’ Taking a breath, “Nan-tsy.”
Something clicked in her mind. Something warm. A feeling she could only describe as healing. That something was going right. Everything in her life might be up in flames.
But she hadn’t given up. And neither had Kali.
And every bit of emotion coursing through her showed in her voice. Shaky, but fiery.
Filled with fight.
“Perfect.”
She cared about Kali, because Nancy Wheeler didn’t ever fucking give up.
And she wasn’t about to start now.