Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tactical retreat successful!

"Hmph! They're the unlucky ones…" Karane harrumphed. "Try lugging those funbags into combat. Just call 'em Target 1 and Target 2."

Back to the guest room then.

Back out in the main hall, Karane found her boyfriends spending their free time waiting for their turn in the bath doing what teen boys do best: stupid stuff. In particular, Rei and Aomi jumped on the opportunity to slide down the bannisters like they used to do in the movies. Rei stuck the landing. Aomi did not.

"Nice one," Karane said with an amused huff.

"Ow, my face," Aomi groaned as he picked himself up off the floor.

"Hey," Kanata called down from the floor above. "You're done already?"

"Eh. It was boring," Karane deflected. "Boujie baths suck. Bigger doesn't always mean better, anyway." Kanata glanced somewhere off towards the ceiling as Karane climbed up, trying not to stare too hard at her exposed midriff. Fortunately, Karane didn't notice the blush he was trying to suppress, looking back down at Rei and Aomi goofing off at the foot of the stairs and noticing two heads were missing. "Where's Tohru and Kiyoshi at?"

"Tohru was still grumbling and going on about having a sleepover at 'the enemy's house' so Kiyoshi took him for a walk to try and calm him down," Kanata replied. "I wish him luck with that."

Karane frowned. "You think this was a good idea?"

Kanata answered with an unsure shrug. "I guess we'll find out."

"…probably just to be safe, we should set him up for the night in a salt circle. Hang a couple iron crosses around him."

Kanata laughed, "I don't think even that'll stop him."

"What about Rentarou? He's still in the guest room?"

"Yep."

"'Kay, cool. I'll go hang out with him for a bit and just face plant in the mattress until everyone comes back… a-and totally not try to get some Rentarou cuddles or anything, okay!?"

"Sure, enjoy those not-cuddles. I'm gonna stick around for a bit and make sure Aomi doesn't break his collarbone or something."

Kanata countered the flustered 'bap' (ouch) on the arm Karane by ruffling her hair as she wandered past. "C'mon, I just brushed my hair, dummy~" Karane mumbled as she went down the hall, placing an amused smile on Kanata's face.

Then a heavy clatter from downstairs drew his attention back down. Rei and Aomi's horsing around almost got really expensive, but Rei was able to catch the insanely expensive vase before it smashed on the floor.

"Phew! That was close!"

"Oh thank God…"

"Glad I was able to catch it. That would've sucked… reminds me of this one girl from my old elementary school that had to join a host club to pay back one she broke. I wonder how she's doing…?"

"You guys alright?"

"Yup! We're all good down here! Nothing got broken!"

"I mean… I could easily pay it off if I did accidentally break something. It's just that… we-we are still kinda in enemy territory and I don't wanna make Hakari's mom angry again…"

"Then stop screwing around down there?"

"But we're bored!"

As if to fix that himself, Alus came trotting by, dragging the chair that Aomi belted him to along as he went. "Oh, you're awake? …hey, can I get my belt back?"

"Woof!"

"Hey, I'm not trying to play! Don't speed up! Come back!"

"See? Aomi agrees!" came Tohru's complaint as he and Kiyoshi emerged from the hallway just under Kanata's feet.

"His situation is different," Kiyoshi replied with an exhausted sigh.

"I just don't get how we got here," Tohru grumbled. "We should be halfway to the States by now. What'd we miss?"

"I have no idea. Rentarou only gave us the cliff note version after all…" Kiyoshi said. "But… I suppose it all worked out in the end. We don't have to leave the country. Hakari's okay and… I guess, Rentarou's happy? …with a woman who should know better than to date her high schooler daughter's boyfriend…"

"Yeah, kinda messed up, ain't it?" Kanata said from the level above.

"Very," Kiyoshi said. With a big defeated shrug, he sighed, "…but clearly it's all a part of God's plan… I don't know how but it must be."

"Would be nice if He let us in on the plan," Tohru sniffed.

"It certainly would be," Kiyoshi agreed, gently taking Tohru's hand and holding it in his palms. "But for now… if Hahari-san is staying, then we need to forgive her."

"Huh?"

"Rentarou said she did this to protect Hakari from feeling the kind of pain she felt when she lost Hakari's father. Even though taking her away caused us pain, this all came from a place of love for her. That's the part of the story that we (and by we, I mostly mean you) need to remember."

"Still doesn't make any sense to me. My mom would've never held me hostage in my own house," Tohru scoffed.

"Yeah, well… clearly, the way Hahari-san shows love and the way your mom shows love are completely different."

"God, the nightmares we're gonna have tonight…" Kanata shuddered.

"All I'm asking is… please, try not to be so angry at Hahari-san, Tohru?" Kiyoshi pleaded. "'Be kind and tenderhearted to each other, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave y-'"

"Isn't this the same guy that sent bears to maul a bunch of kids for making fun of a guy because he was bald?"

"…th- …uh …th-that was diff-"

"Your God's advice sounds a bit all over the place."

"Hey, now hold on a minute!"

A pair of wet feet smacked across the floor and Kusuri appeared, robed up and mostly dried off. "Kusuri's all done with her bath now! It's ginormous in there! Probably needed all that room for Hahari's big mommy milkers, yep yep!"

Rei was leaning over Aomi's shoulder as they unhooked Alus from the chair but the mention of 'big mommy milkers' perked him upright. "Mommy milkers!? Where!?"

"You two…" Kiyoshi said with a lamenting sigh.

"You girls must be wrapping up in there then?" Kanata asked.

"Just about! Hakari, Nano, Shizuka and Hahari are kinda stuck in the bath. It must be really comfy in there. Karane disappeared though. Not sure where she went, nope nope."

"She's hanging out with Rentarou back in the guest room."

"Okie dokie! Then Kusuri's gonna go join 'em!"

Kusuri took the stairs two at a time and zipped right up, letting the boys go back to their shenanigans. Since the girls are just about done in there, Kanata figured that now would be a good opportunity to head back himself and raid the fancy guest suite bathroom for the good soaps so he opted to tag along this time. Seeing that Kanata was coming along, Kusuri happily slowed to match his pace and skipped along beside him.

She seems… fine? At least taking the whole night before now in stride. Quite the feat, considering that Hakari nearly died and they watched a security guard die right in front of them. Any typical 8-year old might not walk away from all that as easily, but then again, Kusuri's not 8 years old actually. Still, though, her boyfriend worried.

"Hey… you holding up alright?"

"Huh? Yep, yep? Why?"

"Well… considering the rough night we had with Hakari almost… a-and that guy?" Kusuri just blinked blankly at Kanata. "…and Tohru's mom?"

"…oh. Yeah, turns out one of the drugs Kusuri grabbed before the mission was actually the Memory Muddler Drug. (Kusuri really needs to start putting labels on stuff.) She took a sip before getting in the bath so the last couple hours are kinda fuzzy." Kusuri tapped her temple and chuckled, "Can't have trauma if you don't remember nothin'!"

"I… don't think it works like that."

"…yeah, probably not. Now Kusuri needs another sip 'cuz Kanata reminded her of everything. Thanks, jerk face."

Kanata smothered a laugh and said, "My bad."

Kusuri retrieved the Memory Muddler from her robe pocket and nearly took another casual sip before something in Kanata's face made her pause. "…is Kanata okay?"

"Hmm? Me? …I'll have a lot to talk to a therapist about after this but otherwise-"

"Eh, Kusuri meant earlier at the garden. When Hakari and Rentarou were being all mopey and quiet, Kanata looked kinda sad too but Hakari didn't break up with you."

"Oh… that. It just… reminded me of something from my past, that's all."

"Oh… you want some Memory Muddler?"

"Heh, thanks but this was from a long time ago. I'd just forget I met any of you if I took that."

"Oh, right, that'd be bad, yep yep."

…but if there was anyone who would understand/empathize/comfort him about it, it would be his girlfriend.

"…it reminded me of what it was like when I was little and my parents started splitting up," Kanata admitted. "They'd have those long, painful silences in between arguments too. …it's been, like, ten years now. I thought I'd be over it by now but having a relationship with people I don't want to lose and feeling powerless to do or say anything to fix it just dug all that back up. …B-But I'm good now! Crisis averted! I-It's not like-"

Kusuri clung to Kanata's free arm, hugging all the love she had in her default tiny state into his hand. "Kusuri's so sorry," she said with a delicate sigh.

"Why? You didn't do anything."

"It's not exactly the same but Kusuri gets how that feels. It's awful…" Kusuri whimpered. After all, her beloved granny… "Kusuri doesn't want Kanata to be sad either… Kusuri's glad everything worked out and we're all still together, yep yep."

"Yeah… me too," Kanata said, a soft smile playing at his lips as he wiggled his hand out of Kusuri's grip enough to hold hers. "I'm fine now, really. I've got my Family. I… I-It's not like I couldn't be happier or anything, okay!?"

"Heeheehee~♡"

The pair rolled to a stop in front of the guest room door. "…y'know, I was around 4-ish back then…" Kanata mumbled. "So you would've been 8, right?"

Kusuri did some quick mental maths and replied, "Yeah?"

"Would you have still looked like this back then? Since people's styles change over the years…?"

"Nah, Kusuri always liked wearing her hair and clothes super simple ever since she was little. That way nothing gets in the way during her experiments, yep yep!"

"Huh. Alright…"

"Why? What did Kanata look like when he was 8?"

"…"

"…you were a Blockcraft kid, weren't ya?"

"…I plead the fifth."

"Cringe."

"Can it."

Without giving it much thought, Kanata nudged the door open and suddenly Karane and Rentarou rolled off the bed, collapsing in a heap on the floor. Clearly, Kanata and Kusuri walked in on something. "Uh… what were you guys up to just now?" Kusuri asked.

Rentarou untangled himself from Karane and sputtered, "I-It's not what it looks like! We-We were just…!"

"…oh! You guys were sumo-wrestling!? Kusuri wants in, yep yep!"

"S-Sure, 'sumo-wrestling.' Let's go with that!"

Karane, on the other hand, just sat there next to the bed, face in her hands, steam radiating off of her head. Kanata couldn't help himself. He had to pick on her just a little bit. He crouched down beside her, failing to smother his amused smile and teased, "Were you seriously about to lick the inside of his-?"

"It's not my fault, okay!? It's the vibes in this house! They're so icky!"

Once the girls returned from their bath, the Family reconvened in the guest room. "Okay, now that us girls are all done, it's time for the main event!" Hahari cheered, flinging open doors to the closet and revealing a brightly colored, cutesy mass of clothes within. "A Pajama Party~♡! (Part 1)"

"My mother is a lover of all things frilly and adorable," Hakari explained. "Clothes, especially. If she finds someone adorable, she just has to dress them up."

"'(Part 1)?'" Rei asked, pointing up to the addition the author tacked on to the end of Hahari's sentence.

"Well, you boys still need to take your turn in the bath~♡" Hahari replied, wiping away a suspicious trail of drool from her chin.

Kanata raised an eyebrow at the rainbow-colored frill fest in the closet and asked, "Do you even have any guy clothes in there?"

"…do I? …uh, hold on a second." With that, Hahari spun on her heel and stuck her entire torso into the closet, rifling through the collection in search of something that would classify as 'guy clothes.' "No… no… no… no… ooh- oh no, wait. That's a nightgown. Never mind." After a moment, she declared defeat and leaned back out, a cheek in one hand. "Well, that's no good," she sighed. "Then again, I've always had plenty of adorable girls on hand to dress up and not enough adorable boys… But don't worry! Mommy will figure something o-"

Hahari turned back around on her heel to chipperly address the youngsters and that was when she got her first good look at Aomi for the first time that night. While Hahari wracked her brain trying to remember where she'd seen his face before, Aomi held out a shaking hand and nervously introduced himself. "H-Hello, ma'am. I-I'm A-Aomi Furukane. I-It's a pleasure to-"

"Oh, you're one of Midori's babies~♡!" Aomi blinked and suddenly his face was buried in Hahari's bosom. "You were so little when I saw you last~♡! When did you get so big~♡?"

"…M-Mmf?"

("…Whomst?")

Aomi's mom always talked Hahari up like the perfect rival for her. Cold, beautiful, aloof, ambitious in an honest way, beautiful, earnest, a little eccentric and beautiful. ("Why'd she say 'beautiful' three times in a row?") Somehow, though, the Hahari that Midori was talking about and the Hahari that Aomi was looking at felt like two completely different people. Just what kind of character development happened while he wasn't looking?

"So… how is Midori doing these days?" Hahari asked, carefully selecting outfits out of the closet and draping them over her arm. "We… haven't had a proper conversation for the last 9-ish years. Work and… family rivalry and all that…"

"She's… doing very well," Aomi confusedly answered. "…we did get hit with a lawsuit over the new Rich Kid baby food line with the infused edible gold leaf, though. Apparently, some kid got really sick from it."

"She actually tried that?" Hahari sighed, "Oh, Midori, I told you that was a bad idea~"

"Ah, but we bleed money. One tiny little lawsuit's nothing for us."

"Still though, I told her that profits aren't everything. You need to have a good relationship with your consumer base too… oh, it's a good thing your family has a good legal team."

"…eh? Chotto a minute, 'Midori'? And just 'Midori'? No honorific or nothing?"

Hahari draped a purple cat hoodie over the top of the pile of clothes hanging off her arm. "And that should do it~♡!" Hahari twirled her finger towards the boys and said, "Now, boys, give us ladies some privacy please~♡" The six boyfriends obediently spun around on their heel, watching the wall while Hahari womanhandled the other girlfriends behind them.

"Ack! Mother, not so rough~!"

"Get offa me, ya perv!"

"Kusuri likes it, yep yep!"

['With the force of an army!']

…

"Okay~♡ You boys can turn around now~♡"

Like some kind of sexy magic trick, the robes were flung off and Hahari presented Karane, Nano and Hakari in their new eye-pleasing pajamas.

"You girls… look absolutely amazing~♡!"

"AHBAHHAHBWAHBAHBWAHSOGYUUHUTE~♡"

"Wow~♡" Tohru sighed, eyes sparkling as he took in the cuteness of Hakari's pajamas. "Purple is such a good color on you, Hakari~♡"

Hakari gave a coy giggle. "You think so~♡?"

"I know so! …and the lace around the collar draws the eye straight to one of your best charm points too~♡"

The coy smile transformed into a smug one. "You're so sweet~♡"

"Wild that you consider that a compliment," Karane scoffed. Then she noticed Kanata blushing particularly hard over her sleepytime fit. "Heh-! Wh-What're you blushing at!?"

"Gh- N-Nothing! I-It's not like stripes look really cute on you or anything, okay!?"

"Hngh~♡! H-Hmph! Well, it's not like I plan to get more clothes with stripes on them now since you… like them and stuff, okay!?"

"D-Do whatever you want! I don't care!"

"Good, 'cuz me neither!"

"Hmph!"

"Hmph!"

Aomi admired Nano's lilac nightgown with a flirtatious whistle. "What a stunner~♡" he chuckled, wrapping an arm around Nano's shoulders. "Hey, doll~♡ You come around here often~♡?"

In a blink, the tables turned, Nano pressing Aomi into the wall, kabedon-style. "Aomi Furukane…♡"

"U-Uwah, UNO Reverse~♡"

"*ahem* Now, now, it's too soon for all that screaming, boys~♡"

"You were screaming too, though-"

Hahari swept an arm towards the remaining girlfriends and announced, "These cuties are the icing on the cake~♡" A sweet little bunny and a cute little kitty stood there, being super adorable. Almost too adorable! The wave of moe uwus was powerful enough to send Rentarou, Hahari and Rei to the floor in a blissful heap.

"Oh, Mother…" Hakari sighed at the display.

Kusuri crouched by Rentarou's prone side and giggled, "Are we really that cute~♡?"

"The whole galaxy shall kneel before the queens of the cuties~♡" Rentarou happily babbled back.

Kusuri gave a mischievous teehee, beckoning Shizuka over. "Kusuri knows a way we can be even more adorbies~♡ By smooching ya up~♡!" And thus, Rentarou was slain by the combined might of the cheek kisses of a kitty and a bunny. RIP, Rentarou Aijou.

"EEEEE~♡! SHIZUKA-CHAN, KUSURI-CHAN, MOMMY TOO~♡!"

"No, down! Bad Mother!"

Rei was the last to recover from the cuteness overload. "Huhbluhbluhbluh~♡" he sobbed, barely able to form coherent words, snapping pictures of the cutest little bunny on the planet. "A national treasure~♡ A gift from God Himself~♡ I'm so happy I'm alive right now~♡"

['Oh, now…' 'You lot praise me too much!']

Kusuri hopped over and settled at Kiyoshi's side as he fussed over his cuteness overloaded boyfriend. "Kiyoshi, Kiyoshi~♡ What do ya think?" Kusuri asked, doing a little twirl. "Is Kusuri cutie-ful~♡?"

"You are very adorable, Kusuri-senpai~♡" Kiyoshi answered, though when Kusuri leaned in to give him a smooch on the cheek, Kiyoshi instinctually pulled back.

"Too loli for your taste?"

"I'm… I'm sorry, senpai. I just… worry I might be crossing a line we shouldn't cro-"

"No worries! Kusuri can fix that, yep yep!" Kusuri had already downed half a vial of neutralizer before Kiyoshi could stop her.

"Ah-! Oh, no, Kusuri-senpai, you don't have to… d-do… th-thaaaa…"

Fortunately, Hahari picked well when it came to Kusuri's pajamas. They still fit her rather comfortably after the shift from default Kusuri to Big Kusuri, though the buttons on her hoodie strained with all their might to keep her blessed chest contained. "There we go," Kusuri said, bifocals already on her face as she pulled her hair back. "How's that? Better now, yep?" Sadly, Kiyoshi couldn't answer. The nosebleed that beholding Big Kusuri in her cat jammies gave him took him out and sent his soul with Rentarou's.

"Ack! No, no, wait, Kusuri wasn't trying to kill you! Kiyoshi, come back! Speak to Kusuri!"

"EEEEE~♡ KUSURI-CHAN, MOMMY WANTS A KISS TOO~♡"

"Mother, I said no! Down, girl!"

Something warm and coppery dripped onto Hahari's lip and she paused to wipe it away. "Ah, I must've gone a little overboard…"

"No question, Mother. Your nose is bleeding."

With that, Hahari politely excused herself from the room. "I'll go get some water from the kitchen."

"Wait, let me come with you!" Gracefully accepting the offer of a shoulder to lean on from Rentarou, Hahari and her new boyfriend slipped away.

They were gone for a minute… and then five minutes… then ten… then fifteen. The rest of the Family waited patiently for them to come back, busying themselves with a game of Old Maid to pass the time… and for some reason, there was plenty of time to pass.

Karane glanced towards the door and wondered, "Dummy and Horny McGee sure are taking their sweet time in the kitchen, aren't they?"

['The hour grows late, indeed,'] Shizuka agreed. ['Drawing water be a simple task. What could've gone awry?']

"Those two take any longer and Kusuri's neutralizer's gonna wear off, yep," Kusuri mumbled, nice and comfy draped over Kiyoshi's back.

"K-Kusuri-senpai…♡"

Thinking of what could possibly be taking Hahari and Rentarou so long brought… a truly horrifying possibility to Hakari's mind. "Ah… n-not to cause concern but… wh-what if Rentarou and my mother are… buttering her biscuit?"

Kiyoshi looked just as horrified by the prospect as Hakari but quickly buried that under several layers of denial. "N-No, Hahari-san's a full grown adult with fully formed morals. She should know better than to… Sh-She wouldn't take it that far already, would sh-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHNNNN~♡♡♡♡♡!!!!!!"

Immediately upon hearing that noise, Tohru abandoned his hand and rolled backwards off the bed, scuttling out the door on all fours like a Vice Principal possessed. "I called dibs 8 chapters ago! Hands off, woman!"

And the rest of his partners followed out after him to interrupt this horny madness.

"Mother, head starts aren't allowed!"

"Yeah, Rentarou is Kusuri's to deflower, yep!"

"I would conjecture he has more of a stem-"

"She doesn't know what she's talking about, Nano."

"Really!? While we're in the next room!?"

"I'm calling the police."

"Nooo, Hahari-san's too gorgeous for jail~!"

Tohru practically barreled Hahari's bedroom door down and- Surprise, it's not smut actually! It's just Rentarou being force femmed! "Y-You guys…!" gasped 'Rentako', yanking the miniskirt of his new, super cute school uniform down to cover as much of his boxer briefs as possible while Hahari writhed on the floor in a squealing, cuteness overloaded fervor.

"AAAAH~♡ RENTAROU-CHAN, YOU'RE JUST SO CUTE~♡ I CAN'T STAND IT~♡"

The moe shockwave that keeled Hahari over blasted across the rest of the Family in turn and they devolved into a babbling puddle of squee.

"What an artist~♡! I'm so lucky to have been born your daughter~♡!"

"A genius~♡! You're an absolute genius, ma'am~♡!"

"You can step on Kusuri anytime you want, yep~♡!"

"I-It's not like he's adorable or anything~♡"

"Y-Yeah, it's not like he's… really pretty like this or anything~♡"

"History will remember your beauty~♡"

['You are the queen of my heart~♡']

"Wow, I… almost thought you were a completely different girl for a second there~♡"

"Uwah~♡! So cute~♡! So cute~♡! You're just so cute like this, Rentarou~♡!"

"…n-never mind, officer~♡ There's no crime being committed here~♡ Sorry to waste your time~♡"

"What's with all them damn heart emojis I've been hea-" Beep.

Despite the resounding praise and admiration, the simple fact of his entire Family seeing him like this was just too much for Rentarou's system to handle and it resulted in a catastrophic overload, causing him to flop to the floor in an embarrassed heap.

"Rentarou!"

"Done got morgue-ified, yep!"

Tohru draped himself over Rentarou's body, joined by Hakari and Shizuka. "Rentarou, no~!" he wailed as if the man had actually died. "Don't leave me~! I can't live without you~!"

"Rentarou, love! You promised we'd be together forever! How could you leave me so soon!?"

['It cannot be!' 'Wake up!' 'Nooooooooooo' 'o' 'o' 'o' 'o' 'o' 'o' 'o' 'o' 'o' 'o' 'o!']

"No, Rentarou-chan… but our love just began…" Unsure of how to un-morgue-ify her beloved Rentarou-chan, Hahari glanced around the room… and her eye fell on Nano. That gave her a brilliant idea!

"I am the adult here-" "Yes, you are the adult. So why-" "As such, it is my job to bring him back to life! Nano-chan, I'll need your assistance."

"Hmm?"

Five minutes later, Hahari came back from wherever she dragged Nano off to and presented the Family a handsome prince (who was still Nano.) "I present to you all, the prince that will awaken our princess!" Just like with Rentako, Prince Nano was a huge hit with the Family.

['M-My knight…♡']

"Gorgeous in pajamas and jaw-droppingly handsome as a prince~♡ Getcha a girl that can do both, am I right~♡?"

"Super hottie hot hot~♡ Kusuri calls next kiss, yep~♡!"

"I see… only the kiss of a prince can awaken a princess from her slumber~♡"

"And since it's a cross-dressing sleep curse, only a cross-dressing prince can break the spell~♡ That's the kind of problem solving that only a genius can come up with~♡!" That one earned Rei a big sloppy mommy kiss on the forehead.

"You guys remember that Rentarou's dying, right?"

Ah, right, yes, a princess needs a kiss. Prince Nano settled by Rentako's side and scooped him into her lap. She stole a quick moment to admire the angelic beauty of his sleeping face and leaned down to press a soft kiss to his lips, waking him from his slumber with the power of shojo manga magic. Rentarou's eyes cracked open, slowly and he found himself held in Prince Nano's strong, manly embrace. "…Nano?"

"I fail to see the logic behind this."

But hey, the rest of the Family was loving this.

"Such a sacred scene~♡"

"Don't be so vulgar, Mother. You're getting a little drooly~♡"

"Says you. You're drooling too~♡"

"Says Karane, who's also drooling~♡"

"Says Tohru, who's also drooling~♡"

"Says Kanata, who's also drooling~♡"

['Says' 'Aomi' 'who is also…♡']

"Says Shizuka, who's also…♡" Rei should've followed but Kusuri glanced over and found him face-down on the floor, vibrating uncontrollably. "Uh, Rei? You doing okay, yep?"

"♡HABABABABABABABABABABA♡OTAKUOVERLOAD♡BABABABABABABABABABABAHA♡"

"Yikes! You need some neutralizer!?"

Kiyoshi gave an endeared sigh over his Family's shenanigans and mumbled, "You're all so silly…♡"

Rentarou wiggled out of the uniform that Hahari stuffed it into, leaving it in a nicely folded pile on the bed. "Jeez!" He grumbled, whipping off the wig and tossing it onto the bed right next to the uniform. "Well, since you girls are done, I'm going to go take my turn now!" Rentarou didn't stay to hear any protests, stalking out of the room in an embarrassed huff.

"Aw, he's sulking, yep yep."

"Gah! Kusuri shrank!"

"He's so cute~♡"

…oh.

It was the boys' turn…

…to take a bath…

…with Rentarou.

Suddenly, five faces got really warm over the idea of it all. "…*ahem* Y-Yeah, we better… go do the-… the thing too…♡" Kanata verbally stumbled as the boys physically stumbled out the door after their boyfriend. "We'll, uh… we'll catch up with you girls later…♡" And with that, the boys were gone, leaving the ladies behind…

"…Hakari."

"On it, mother."

All of a sudden, the Hanazono mother-daughter duo started acting truly suspicious. "Hey, hold up," Karane said as Mei quietly shuffled in and handed a length of rope to her mistress. "What're you two up to?"

"We're not up to anything~♡"

"We're just going to peep a little, that's all~♡"

If Rentarou knew Hakari and Hahari (and he was confident that he did by this point), they'd have some camera hidden around the bathroom somewhere, specifically for peeping purposes. Barring that, they'd probably barge right in with some offer to wash his back. As such, the towel stays on! That was the King of Decency's decree!

…sadly, the same couldn't really be said for 4 out of 5 of his boyfriends.

"Rock, Paper, Scissors!"

1 paper, 2 rocks, 1 scissors and… all three at once. That rendered the round invalid and the 'cheater' disqualified. Fortunately, that's exactly what Kiyoshi was counting on.

"Oh no, I lost," Kiyoshi deadpanned. "I guess that means I have to go sit in the tub and pretend we're all being wholesome and family friendly in here."

"I mean, yeah, you did lose but how'd you know that you lost?" Aomi asked. "You've been looking at the ceiling since we came in."

"That is a nice ceiling," Rei chuckled in agreement. "…I think? Everything's blurry…"

"Yeah, well, if some people around here would we-" Kiyoshi accidentally glanced down and in an instant, he blocked his vision of… everything with his hand before his brain could properly register anything. "-w-wear a towel… This tasteful steam censorship only works on the audience, not me! I can see everything!"

"Have you never been to a public bath before?" Kanata asked, bewildered by this extreme display of prudishness.

"No. Some things are… o-only meant to be shared with the person that you plan to marry… o-on your wedding night… w-with the lights off…"

"…oh man, that school messed you up," Rei sighed.

"Hey! Come on!"

"Y'know, Shizuka tried using a line like that on us," Kanata said with an amused huff. "We could tell right away that she was just shy about her first kiss."

"…wh-what is that implying about me?"

"That-"

"No, never mind! I don't wanna know!"

"Nudity's not inherently sexual, y'know. Just 'cuz we're all naked in a room together doesn't mean we're about to jump into a big soapy BL-" "Rei, stop talking." "Okey."

"You say that…" Kiyoshi huffed, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at his boyfriends. "…but you all seem way too suspiciously eager to just wash Rentarou's back. So much so that it doesn't seem innocent at all."

…Kiyoshi hit the nail right on the head. "He's got us there," Tohru admitted.

"B-But can you really blame us?" Kanata sputtered in their defense. "I-It's this house and its nasty vibes-"

"You guys know I can hear you back there, right?"

Officially done with this line of interrogation, Kiyoshi stuck his nose in the air and marched away towards the tub. "Hmph! I, for one, refuse to fall victim to the overtly sinful vibes of this house! I am going to go soak in the tub and pretend we're all behaving like good God-fearing people!"

"…you can look at the floor now," Kanata replied.

Kiyoshi's reply to that got cut off when his ankle caught one of the stools and tripped him into the tub. Upon hearing the commotion, Rentarou's head snapped in his direction and he asked, "Kiyoshi? Are you okay?"

After just a second, Kiyoshi managed to break free from the water, coughing what little got into his lungs into his hands. "I-I'm fine!" he answered back rather pitifully. "I… uh, I meant to do that." Great, now his towel is drenched. That's going to be a miserable and uncomfortable walk back to the changing area later. Fortunately, the water was opaque enough to provide a bit of privacy for now and Kiyoshi untied the thing from around his waist to hang over the edge of the tub. Hopefully, it will dry by the time their bath was done.

Well, then, there's still a decision to be made. The Rock, Paper, Scissors tournament continues!

"Rock, Paper, Scissors!"

3 papers vs 1 rock. Aomi has been eliminated!

"Any chance I can take a mulligan on this one?"

"Nope, you lost. Those're the rules."

"Damn." Aomi gave an reluctantly accepting sigh and trudged off to join Kiyoshi in the tub.

"Rock, Paper, Scissors!"

Rei couldn't for the life of him tell what exactly Kanata and Tohru played but they all looked like paper to him. "Phew, I get another shot!"

"Yeah… not really." Kanata and Tohru turned their hands over, revealing that they were both scissors that cut up Rei's paper.

"Aw, man… stupid astigmatism." And Rei moped all the way to the tub, leaving Kanata and Tohru as the finalists.

"Rock, Paper-"

Kchk! "Gun."

"What the hell!?"

"Yay, I won~♡!"

"Because you frickin' cheated!"

The winner happily skipped over to claim his prize, sliding a stool up behind Rentarou and draping himself over Rentarou's bare back. "T-Tohru~♡"

"Hmm~♡?" Tohru playfully hummed, pressing his chest into Rentarou's back.

"Wh-what're you doing~♡?" Rentarou asked, a delightful shiver wracking his system as Tohru leaned in and pressed a kiss to his jaw.

"We thought you could use some help washing your- …Why're you wearing a blindfold?"

Sure enough, this entire time, Rentarou had voluntarily blinded himself, stumbling around with an eye mask blocking his view. "Well… taking a bath with my handsome, amazing, incredible, insanely hot boyfriends… I wasn't sure if I could be able to keep myself in check~♡" Rentarou bashfully admitted. "I want to treat you all like the perfect gentlemen you all are~♡ Only the worst kind of boyfriends openly ogle at their boyfriends… *gulp* b-bodies like they're just pieces of meat!"

"That explains why you've been washing your body with shampoo," Kanata laughed and Rentarou blankly looked towards the bottle in his hand like he'd actually see anything.

"Is that what this is?"

"…well, anyway, I still wanna wash your back~♡! Can I, please~♡? Pretty please~♡? Pretty please with sugar on top~♡?"

"I… uh… I-I would appreciate the help~♡ It's… not as easy to bathe blindfolded as I thought…"

"Yay~♡♡!!"

Kanata rolled his eyes at the sore winner flopping all over Rentarou's back, planting kisses wherever he could put them. Whatever, let him enjoy his spoils. Kanata will find a way to get some attention from Rentarou later. In the meantime, there's a bath he can soak in with people he really liked.

Kanata lowered himself into the bath right beside Kiyoshi. When he wasn't scolding Rei on his antics, he still shrank in on himself a bit, both hands firmly in his lap to cover what the water couldn't. "Hey," Kanata said, elbowing Kiyoshi's arm to get his attention. "Relax. That's the whole point of the bath."

Kiyoshi replied with a slight sigh. "I'm trying… I guess if anything, I'm glad I'm doing my first public bath experience with the people I love. A public sento with complete strangers… I wouldn't have made it this far. I would've turned around and walked home ages ago."

"Yay for little victories!" Rei cheered.

"And…" Kiyoshi sunk a little lower into the water with a blissful sigh. "This bath feels really nice~♡"

"Doesn't it~♡?"

"Yeah~♡ Wish I had one of these back at my mom's place~♡"

"What about your dad's?"

"His bathtub's even smaller. Like soaking in a shoebox."

"Eh? I thought he was a big time rockstar."

"And he chooses to live in a tiny apartment for some reason. ''Cuz it's close to home,' he said. I don't know. He's kinda dumb."

"We've got something like this back home~♡ But Hahari's tub is easily twice as big as ours~♡"

"Lucky~♡"

With that, the four boyfriends sank into their bath with a long, pleasant sigh. Life was good.

"…Excuse me, sir, that's the knot holding my towel up, not my back."

"That towel could use some washing too~♡"

"Down, boy! Heel!"

Kiyoshi sighed hearing the lewd antics behind him. "Swear they're pumping something through the vents around here…" he said, disappointed and Kanata answered with a snorted laugh.

Clunk!

"Hm?"

"What was…"

It took a second but when they saw the horrifying pair of sickly green eyes looking in on them from the top corner of the window-

"HYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"

Responding to the terrified shrieking of his boyfriends, Rentarou instinctively whipped the blindfold off and shot up. "Guys!? What happened!?"

Kanata's first reaction to the mystery peeper was to grab Kiyoshi's wet towel and pitch it at the creep where it stuck to the window. Aomi and Rei were more spooked by the ghostly eyes to worry about their privacy being violated but Kiyoshi was absolutely beside himself from embarrassment. "Now Rentarou will never marry me~! I'm gonna spend the rest of my life as a spinster~!" he wailed into his hands.

"That's not true at all!" Rentarou reassured, immediately comforting Kiyoshi in his arms. "It's kind of a spoiler, but I plan to marry all of you!"

"*shniff* R-Rentarou~♡"

"What-" Rentarou's hand immediately snapped to his eyes so he wouldn't lech all over his boyfriends' birthday suits. "What happened? I was over there with Tohru."

Kanata pointed up towards the towel sticking to the window. "S-Someone was up there, looking in at us…" The suction ran out and the towel dropped to the floor. The ghostly eyes had vanished… and that was somehow worse. "Th-They were right there…"

"Eek! A gh-gh-ghost!"

"Or someone with good climbing gear…" Tohru countered Rei's spooked shriek. "…or lowered themselves down from the upstairs window."

"Eek! A wall-climbing pervy gh-gh-ghost!"

"You're one to talk, Rei Otake!"

"Great," Kanata sighed. "They pump horny pollen through the vents and now the place is haunted on top of that. W-We should wrap it up in here and bail ASAP."

"Yeah. Hahari probably knows how to deal with the gh- HWAAAH!" The whole group startled at Rentarou's flinch. Fortunately, no ghost or creeper. It was just condensation dripping from the ceiling. "L-Let's finish this bath and get outta here…"

"Y-Yeah…"

Hakari and Hahari really tied Shizuka in there. No matter how much she wriggled and wiggled, she was stuck in the blanket they wrapped her in. Who knows where those girls ran off to and what they could possibly be up to now…

Shizuka could only imagine. Poor Rentarou and Tohru and Kanata and Rei and Aomi and Kiyoshi. Knowing that they were so careless and indecent as to let their beloved girlfriends see them in the buff, they'd have no choice but to sentence themselves to be dragged through the city streets before execution. Poor Hakari and Nano and Kusuri and Hahari too! Knowing that the boys were so guilty as to have themselves executed because they gave in to a moment of lust, they'd have no choice but to sentence themselves to be dragged through the city streets before execution as well! And then Shizuka would be the only survivor of the Rentarou Family massacre! (…and maybe Karane too? She didn't show up in the panel with her so what happened to Karane? Did she break a leg and get euthanized on the track? Oh God, anything but that! That's some nonsense some obnoxious animal rights group would try to pull for attention and anger an entire fanbase with!)

Shizuka's the only one who could possibly stop this! She's just… gotta… break free of these chains!

…gragh, it's not use! She still tied in too tight! …but she is upside-down now.

Aha!

Someone will untie her eventually, but Shizuka is still mobile! She can still cut them off at the pass!

Go, Sushizuka-chan! Keep on rolling, rolling, rolling!

Rentarou wasn't entirely sure what happened, but after his back was nice and thoroughly washed, he found himself in the middle of a protective huddle in bath, surrounded on all sides by his hot, hunky boyfriends. "Y-You guys…" he bashfully murmured. "Y-You're all… really close…"

"Well, i-it's not like I feel safer next to you or anything, okay!?"

Rei drifted back into the huddle, casually leaving the baggie of bath salts Kanata swiped from the guest room bathroom on the edge of the tub. "There," he said. "Let's see that ghost try to get past this salt circle."

"I don't think bath salts are as effective for warding evil spirits away," Kiyoshi argued.

"Well… it's the closest salt thing on hand…" Rei sheepishly chuckled in response. "Eh, but there's still salts in there! We should be safe in this lavender-scented salt circle… hopefully."

With a wall to their right and a semi-circle of lilac salt around the edge of the tub to their left, no ghost or ghoulie should be able to get them now!

"…now what?"

They were basically stuck now. Doomed to live in this bathtub for the rest of their lives… or at least until morning when the ghost couldn't get them. The girls will start to worry if they're gone for too long, though…

"We should probably text the girls and let them know what's happening," Rentarou suggested.

"Great idea… except…" Rei glanced towards the door. "We left our phones in the changing room before we came in and… something could snatch us if we leave the circle."

"I really don't think the bath salt circle will protect us," Kiyoshi protested.

Aomi angled himself out of the huddle and started climbing up. "I'll g-"

"I'll go," Rentarou declared, one hand covering the most important bits and the other gently easing Aomi back into the water. "As a boyfriend, it's my duty to protect the people I love, even if it means putting my own life at risk. Some s-spooky gh-gh-ghost doesn't scare me!"

"It sounds like it scares you a little bit," Aomi replied, endearingly amused by his super brave boyfriend's totally-not-scared trembling.

Kanata followed him up and protested, "That applies to us for you too, idiot! I'm coming with you!"

"Me too!" Tohru said, bursting up out of the water to join them. "Safety in numbers! If that ghost tries to take my Rentarou away from me, I'll just kill it again!"

"How do you kill something that's already dead?"

"Silver, usually."

The trio carefully inched their way out of the bath salt circle, sent off with a cautious whisper from Rei. "Be careful!" With Tohru and Kanata clung to his arms, Rentarou tiptoed across the floor. They haven't seen or heard any suspicious paranormal activity since the eyes in the window, but that didn't mean they were free and clear just yet. They had to be super careful. One wrong step and the ghosts could pounce-

"HHHYYYIIEEEEEE!!!"

Bathunk!

The boyfriend trio froze mid-way through, that bloodcurdling shriek sending shivers down their spine. Just when they were at their most vulnerable, the ghosts came back! …and they were coming from the ceiling?

"GYYYYAAAAACK!!!"

"OWAAA!!! FURRY ON MY FEET! GET IT OFF!!!"

"HEEEK! A MOUSE!!"

"I'VE GOT ACID AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!"

"DON'T! YOU'LL KILL US ALL!"

"π = 3.141592653589793238…"

Chaos from up above triggered pandemonium down below.

"GYYYYAAAA! THE GHOSTS'RE BACK!!"

"PLEASE FORGIVE US! TAKE ME INSTEAD! JUST LET MY BOYFRIENDS GO, I BEG YOU!"

"OurFather,whoartinHeaven,

Hallowedbethyname,

thykingdomcome,thywillbedone,

onEarthasitisinHeaven…"

"Don't worry, you guys. I got it," Tohru said, incredibly casually shouldering a bazooka.

"Whoa! What the fu-" Just as quickly as it rested on Tohru's shoulder, Kanata pulled it off. "What happened to silver!?"

"Right here," Tohru answered, tapping the tip of the loaded rocket, capped with a shiny sheen of silver. Just to get the point across to Mr. Spooky that he definitely was not welcome here.

"How'd you get this thing in here anyway!? You don't have any pock-"

Suddenly, the automatic doors snapped open and something rolled in, zipping past Rentarou's ankles, blasting through the bath salt circle and jumping the curb into the bath.

"Noo, the salt circle betrayed us!"

"I told you it wasn't gonna work!"

Whatever barged in bubbled under the water for a moment… and then up rose a creature, long stringy hair plastered to its face like it just crawled from the darkest well to enact revenge on the people that put her there and anyone foolish enough to subject themselves to her curse.

"EEEYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!"

"Rei! Aomi! Kiyoshi!" Rentarou moved to leap to their rescue when the supposed ghost girl scraped her wet hair out of her eyes and emitted a feeble cough. "Shizuka?" As soon as they properly recognized her, Shizuka's boyfriends flocked to her side to make sure she wasn't really hurt from her sudden entrance.

"Shizuka!"

"Are you okay?"

"That entrance looked rough. You're not hurt anywhere, are you?"

"Sheesh, Tiny, you scared the crap outta us!"

"You don't look like you're bleeding anywhere. That's a relief…"

"What was that just now, though? …oh, your phone! Ah jeez, it didn't get waterlogged, did it?"

Shizuka blinked the bath water out of her eyes and found herself in a forbidden oasis where gods go to play. A magical watering hole, home to five healthy, virile stallions… and one elephant. The elephant in particular had her full attention, her face bright neon red and her heart pounding. Confused and curious, the boys followed her line of sight and…

"O-Oh…♡ Uh, wow…♡"

Aomi gave an impressed whistle. "Nice~♡"

"…I'm still blind. What're we looking at?" Tohru whispered the answer into Rei's ear and the start of a lecherous giggle escaped him until he remembered that he can't see without his glasses. "Augh, curse these wretched malformed corneas of mine! I wanna see!"

As soon as he recognized what he was looking at, Kiyoshi's hands snapped to his face. "I-I'm so sorry! I followed the herd! I-I swear I didn't see anything!"

"Nice, isn't it~♡?" Tohru said with a teasing lilt.

"I wouldn't know! I don't- Wait, why do you sound like you've seen it already?"

Hey, guys? The steam censorship only works on us, remember?

Realizing that they were just as naked as Rentarou was, his boyfriends jumped to cover themselves, stammering apologies to Shizuka but the damage was already done. So overwhelmed by the sacred sight she wasn't meant to see, that she tried to talk her girlfriends out of trying to peep on, a powerful gushing nosebleed knocked Shizuka backwards into the tub.

"Shizuka!"

With Shizuka scooped up out of the water into Rentarou's arms and towels reattached to their waists, Shizuka's boyfriends carried her out of the bathroom to treat her injur-

"Gah, the cat of a wealthy family again! I'm so over your crap, fluffy!"

Waiting for them just outside were their very unwholesome girlfriends, caught red-handed descending from the attic above the bathroom… and suddenly, things were starting to make sense.

"Girls? What're you up to?"

"Oh, y-you're all-! W-Well, we were just playing… hide-and-seek!" Hakari stammered in explanation and her mother and girlfriends jumped in to back her up.

"And it seems we all picked the ceiling as our hiding spot!" Hahari added.

"Hiding in the dark was the most effective solution," Nano agreed.

"Just some hide-and-seek, yep yep!" Kusuri chirped.

"Y-Yeah, it was just hide-and-seek, that's all…" Karane said. "…i-it wasn't like we were trying to peep on you guys in the bath or anything, okay!?"

"Karane…!"

"Oh, but if we do it to you guys, suddenly it's sexual harassment!"

"I'm not mad at you girls, I'm just disappointed. In you especially, Hahari-san! You said you were the adult here!"

"Even if we were somehow cool with peeping…"

And so the ladies of the Rentarou Family got a thorough scolding from Rentarou, Kiyoshi and Kanata while Rei, Aomi and Tohru tended to their poor overheated girlfriend.

"Uwweeeeh~ I'm so sorry, Shizuka~" Rei wailed, clinging to one of Shizuka's free hands. "Will you ever forgive me~?"

['I love…' 'horses…' 'but more than that,' 'I love…' 'elephants…']

"*shniff* Me too. I love elephants too…"

"We're sorry…" "…yep yep."

Kiyoshi gave an enduring sigh. "And you should be. Honestly, if the roles were reversed in any other anime-"

A very soft knock on the bedroom door behind them nearly went unheard. Fortunately, Hahari recognized that sound. "Come in, Mei."

Hahari's right hand maid inched her way in with a few bundles of clothes in her arm. "If I may be so bold, Hahari-sama, I have the honored pajamas you requested."

"Yay! Pajama Party (Part Two)!"

"Now hold on, you! You're still in big trouble!"

The pajamas switched hands and Hahari rewarded Mei for her hard work with an affectionate pat on the head. "Well done, Mei~♡ Thank you so much~♡"

"H-Hwaah…♡ I'm not worthy…♡"

"I asked Mei to scrounge up some pajamas for you boys while we were playing hide-and-"

"We already caught you. There's no point in still lying about it."

Hahari carefully separated each set and plopped it into the hands of the boy she wanted to see in it. "Here you are~♡ Ueheheh, I can't wait to see what you cuties look like in- HEEK!" If looks could kill, then the glare that she was met with from Tohru would've drawn and quartered her, incinerated the quarters and salted the earth after. "R-Right… you're probably still mad at me for… H-Here you go… so… so sorry…" Hahari nervously squeaked, gently placing his pajamas in his hands and backing off as quickly as humanly possible. "Waaah~! Hakari, so scary~!"

"Mother, you're supposed to be comforting me."

Kanata glanced down at the bundle of clothes in his arms and… ah, Mei was told to go out of her way to try and match their PJs to their girlfriends, it would seem. Naturally, the tsundere was assigned thick pink-and-white stripes (at least for his pajama pants. The top was a solid white tank top.) Geez, i-it's not like he's happy to match with his girlfriend or anything, okay!?

With a tsundere harrumph, Kanata casually tossed the pajamas onto the bed, grabbed his shirt by the back of the collar and pulled it… hold on. He glanced over at the group of girls and as he suspected, the only one of them to voluntarily grant them privacy was Shizuka, who had seen far more than enough for one day. "Ahem. We turned around for you guys."

"Oh! Right, silly us!" Hahari giggled and the remaining girlfriends turned around rather reluctantly.

"…Hahari-san, put the hand mirror down!"

"Aw, boo…"

Rustle, rustle, rustle…

Rustle, rustle, rustle…

"…'Kay."

While not quite as fanservice-y as the ladies, the pajamas provided for the gentlemen still drew quite the reaction from their girlfriends. Hahari, especially.

"AHBAHBWAHBAHBWAHBAHYOUBOYSARESOGYUHUUTE~♡♡♡♡!!"

Tohru's set was matched with Hakari's, the same delicate purple color with a tastefully unbuttoned shirt layered over a pure white tee to make up for the lack of lace in his outfit. "Oooh, purple looks so good on you, Tohru~♡" Hakari praised. "It complements the color of your hair and eyes so nicely~♡"

A little surprised at such a compliment, Tohru bashfully lowered his head and giggled. "Aww, thank you…♡"

"Hey, hey, when'd you earn the right to act all bashful 'n crap?"

But before Tohru could respond to Kanata's admonishment, Karane cut in with a loud 'smug' hmph. "Who looks good in stripes now, huh~♡?"

"…Tch~♡"

"Uwah~♡! Kusuri and Kiyoshi match~♡!" Kusuri squealed, hopping around by his feet and pointing out the cat symbol on the chest of his long-sleeved purple shirt.

"This feels a little tight…" Kiyoshi murmured, picking at his shirt to try and adjust it a little. "Especially around the chest… these're still girls clothes, aren't they?"

"Well, clothing doesn't have gender…" Hahari protested. "…that having been said, they are girl sizes…"

"That explains it."

"Huh. It's kinda the opposite for me though…" Rei replied, blindly inching around the bed in an oversized T-shirt with a rabbit-themed magical girl printed on the front and matching bunny patterned pajama pants. Kusuri, however, was captivated by something on Rei she hadn't seen before.

"Oooh, Rei's eyes are so pretty, yep yep~♡! Kusuri didn't know they were yellow! Kusuri thought they were green for a while!"

['It had been quite some time since she had seen those' 'glittering citrines,'] Shizuka said, well enough to sit up in bed again. ['How lovely they are~♡']

"And since they're hidden behind those big lenses 90% of the time, it adds a… a pa-pow factor when we finally get to see them!" Hakari agreed.

"Hmm. Dazing your prey into a false sense of security with faux courtship displays before you pounce… ingenious."

"I don't think that's the point, Nano."

"EEEE~♡ REI-CHAN'S SO KYUUTE~♡ GIVE MOMMY A KISSY~♡"

"Ack! I thought the gag was over- Mother, no! Down, girl!"

"Aw, shucks…♡" Rei said, shyly twirling a finger through his ebony locks. "You girls are so nice…♡ Heh, sure glad the rest of you can still see. I can't see jack diddly squa-" Barely able to see his surroundings, Rei tried taking a tiny step forward and stubbed his toe against the foot of the bed, killing him instantly. "…ow."

['Oh, the agony of' 'de feet.']

Aomi smoothed out the last wrinkle he could spot on his shirt and presented his pajamas to the group, a nice, neat set, sky blue pinstripes and bright blue buttons that made him look like a billionaire that just rolled out of bed.

Nano looked over Aomi's outfit and gave a nod of appraisal. "You look very comfortable, Aomi Furukane~♡"

"Just 'comfortable?'"

"And handsome, of course, but for sleepwear, comfort is on a higher priority level than looks-"

"Oh!" Hahari's cheeks turned a special shade of pink, immediately recognizing the set Aomi was strutting around in and she whispered to her beloved right-hand maid, "Where… where did you find that set, Mei, dear?"

"At the bottom of a laundry basket in the back of your walk-in, Hahari-sama," Mei dutifully answered.

"I see…"

"Is it not to your liking? I can find a replacement right away-"

"No, no, it's fine!" Hahari said, a nervous laugh playing at the end of her sentence. "It's just that I haven't seen those in quite some time. Oh, poor Midori, I thought she might've left something here but felt too awkward to come get it back-"

"Wh- These're my mom's!?"

Hakari blinked, glanced over the surprisingly feminine cut of clothing Aomi was wearing and asked, "Mother, why are Ms. Furukane's pajamas in your closet?"

Ah, Hahari's been caught. "Ahaha… W-Well, a few years ago, we had… erm, tossed around the idea of a… a merger(!) b-between our companies… and we had to pull a few a-all-nighters, hashing out terms on this merger… yes."

That was probably the clumsiest way to try and get around confirming the idea of Hahari and Midori's relationship.

"Hahari-san…" Aomi asked, carefully. "Did… did you have relations with my mother?"

"Ah- Ahaha, no, no, of course not!" Hahari sputtered. "We never managed to get anywhere that far! No, the merger… kinda fell through." Hahari's flustered smile dropped into a sad frown. "I… still had issues on my end I needed to deal with…"

"…but you wanted to?"

Hahari twirled a finger through one of her ringlets. "Despite being 8 years my senior, Midori-chan was very cute~♡"

Rei sidled in from off-screen, cleared his throat and asked, "Did these 'business meetings' involve pillow fights?"

"We had one or two."

"Thank you, ma'am. You've made my entire night."

Relieved to be released from the bonds of forbidden romance, Hakari and Aomi melted into each other's embrace… but now any family dinner they wind up having after this will be awkward for a completely different reason. That'll make for a fun chapter later, at the very least…

And now, the pièce de résistance, the man, the myth, the legend himself, Rentarou Aijou! The focus turned to him and his stunning pajamas: white pants with bright red hearts stamped over every inch of fabric and a muscle tee… that is, a tee-shirt with bodybuilder pecs and a six-pack printed across it, with an old-fashioned 'Mom' tattoo on the bicep for good measure. It was silly, but his partners loved silly.

"Hubba-hubba~♡"

"EEEE, RENTAROU-CHAN, GIVE MOMMMY A KISSY-WISSY~♡"

"No, Mother, down!"

With everyone in their cozy jammies, the rest of the party commenced. The plan was to spend the night eating snacks, playing party games and engaging in general revelry and tomfoolery and probably wind down with a cozy movie before the actual slumber part of the slumber party and that was the plan they went with, with Mei obediently standing in the corner waiting for Hahari to give her orders.

At one point during a rousing game of what the author assumes to be Old Maid again, Hahari missed the card she was going to take from Rentarou by a few inches and her hand gently touched Rentarou's. "O-Oh my, I'm so sorry," she stammered and pulled her hand back, blushing like a smitten schoolgirl.

"D-Don't be, it's fine!" Rentarou replied, blushing like a smitten schoolboy.

"Oh, come on, you two! Quit the cliched rom-com shtick already!" Karane snapped, blushing like a smitten schoolgirl over the schmaltzy display from the smitten lovers.

"If anything, we should be embracing the romantic comedy 'shtick' much harder," Nano argued.

"A rom-com? My goodness…" Hahari giggled. Then she felt a happy little flutter in her chest. The last time she felt something close to that flutter of happiness and love was 9 years ago with her fling with Midori Furukane… even longer than that, 16 years ago with the one man she could never forget…

"Mother? Is something wrong?"

Hahari snapped herself out of her thoughts and smothered that feeling. "No… I am fine…" Hahari turned a sad attempt at a smile to Mei and asked, "Mei, dear, how about you sub in for me and play a couple hands?"

Mei's brow furrowed with worry. "Hahari-sama?"

"Please, don't worry about me. I am perfectly fine. I just remembered something I need to take care of, that's all."

…oh, the master of the house…

"Understood, Hahari-sama," Mei solemnly answered and tiptoed over to take her mistress's spot.

Saddened to see Mei's soft smile disappear for just a moment, Hahari squeezed Mei's cheeks, gently molding it back on and giving her a sweet mommy forehead kiss that nearly ended Mei right then and there. "I won't be long," Hahari reassured as she shuffled out the door. "Have fun everyone!" For the briefest second before the door latched closed behind her, the soft, reassuring, motherly smile she had dropped and something left behind worried Rentarou and Mei right to their core.

Forfeiting his hand, Rentarou eased his way out of the circle and went to follow. "I'll go check up on her," he said.

Mei instinctually placed a hand on Rentarou's shoulder to ease him back onto the bed. "Oh, you do not need to do that, Aijou-sa-"

"I think what Hahari-san needs right now is comfort from her boyfriend. That's what I'm here for!" Rentarou argued with a reassuring smile, flipping the tables on Mei and urging her to join the group for a game of Old Maid. "You work so hard all the time, Meido-san. You deserve a break."

For some reason neither of them would figure out until a few chapters from now, Mei's heart did a little somersault and her cheeks flushed. "Understood. Thank you, Aijou-sama," Mei replied, a telltale 'Mei will remember that' fading in from the corner of the screen.

As Rentarou snuck away to check up on his newest girlfriend, Mei settled herself in the spot he abandoned on the bed and took to the game right away. "If I may be so bold…" she meekly introduced herself with, deftly plucking the queen from Kusuri's hand.

(So, after reading the scene in which Hahari tells Rentarou about her love for Papari, the author has decided that she couldn't add to or alter anything about peak worth adding a rewrite to this chapter. So, as lazy as it is, please insert that scene here.)

Some time later, Rentarou and Hahari returned, Hahari even happier and more in love with Rentarou than ever before. They returned to a metaphorical slaughter, each of Rentarou's boyfriends and girlfriends thoroughly trounced by Mei Meido.

"She's way too good at this game, yep yep!"

"For a lady who's got her eyes closed all the time, she sure does see a lot!"

"Welcome back, Hahari-sama!" Mei chirped, easing herself off the bed to stand at attention. "I have defeated everyone and won the game of Old Maid in your honor."

Completely endeared by her beloved maid's puppy-esque enthusiasm, Hahari patted Mei's head and asked, "Did you have fun, Mei-chan?"

Mei smiled and affirmed, "I had a very enjoyable break."

And so the slumber party continued. They played a few more card/board games, nibbled on snacks, tried and succeeded at making Shizuka levitate (which isn't nearly as difficult as it sounds,) had a few pillow fights, lazed around on the bed sharing romantic stories (about each other) and there were many kisses to be had, yuri, yaoi and het. At the very end, the group wound down for a movie marathon, laughing at comedies, tearing up at sappy romances, huddled together for safety for scary movies. Eventually, everyone began to nod off during the credits of a movie about an ogre and a princess. Mei took that as her cue and tucked in her mistress and the people she loved for the night before slipping away to continue her duties in the background until she would join the Family proper.

As the moon hit the top of its arc, the Rentarou Family was sound asleep. At some point, Aomi slipped off the bed and snored face-down, feet-up into the floor at the foot of the bed, Kusuri was nice and snug snoozing into Hahari's chest, Kiyoshi was secure in his Anti-Shenanigan Fortress (pillows on all sides and tightly wrapped up in his blanket to avoid any funny business in the middle of the night), Rei was nestled upside down in between Nano and Shizuka, Kanata snoozing beside Tohru as the rose-haired boy clung to Rentarou like a koala on Rentarou's right and on his left Karane and… Hakari?

Hakari carefully slipped out from under her blankets and tiptoed around the bed, slinking into the empty space between Rentarou and Karane in search of some affection from her boyfriend. If she was a teensy bit more awake, she might've been more successful at this stealth mission but alas, Karane and Tohru were alerted to her movement, Tohru's eyes immediately snapping open in response. Once they adjusted to the dark and recognized his girlfriend though, Tohru's face softened and he pulled back just enough that he was still touching Rentarou but allowed Hakari to get the cuddles from Rentarou she was after.

"Thank you, Tohru," Hakari whispered and Rentarou stirred at the sound of his girlfriend's voice.

"Hakari?"

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to wake you…" Hakari whispered. "I just wanted to sleep beside you is all."

"Aw, so that's why you're up this late?" Rentarou soothed, pulling the blanket over Hakari's shoulder. "You must be really tired though…"

"I suppose…" Hakari's throat tightened up at the thoughts still swirling in her head. "But… just hours ago, I thought I had lost you. All of you. I… I thought we'd never be able to see each other… ever again…"

Rentarou's hand gently cupped Hakari's cheek and tilted her face up so he could give her a soft, loving kiss. "It's okay now…" Rentarou whispered. "I'm right here."

"Rentarou, love…♡"

Mirroring this sentiment, Tohru's hand slipped under Rentarou's arm to gently grip Hakari's, relieved himself that Hakari was still here. To Tohru's surprise, another hand reached over him to gently pet Hakari's hair, Kanata who had been just awake enough to listen to what was troubling Hakari and reached over to offer some love of his own and with a soft tsundere grumble, Karane rolled over and pressed herself tight to Hakari's back, just… n-not wanting to be left out, okay!?

Hakari Hanazono truly was the luckiest girl in the entire world.

"Would… would you all hold me in your arms until morning?"

"Of course."

"Yeah."

"Like you need to ask."

"I-It's not like I don't want to or anything, okay?"

Rentarou stirred one more time that night, suddenly finding himself cold and partnerless. Fortunately though, it didn't sound like his beloved partners went very far. Hakari and Karane simply rolled over in their sleep and in the midst of their lovey-dovey dreams, kept each other kissy company.

"Tohru-kun~♡"

"K-Kanata~♡"

Not to be left out, Kanata and Tohru mirrored their girlfriends, proving that under all that awkward animosity, they truly loved each other as much as Rentarou… probably. Maybe? Well, would they be subconciously kissing each other if they didn't?

"Hakari-chan~♡ Hakari-chan~♡ Hakari-chan~♡ Hakari-chan~♡ Hakari-chan~♡"

"K-Karane~♡"

'Aw, they're all so close, even when they're asleep,' Rentarou thought to himself, proud to see his partners love each other as much as he loves them.

Eventually, the glare of the morning sun seeping through the curtains and the discomfort of his cheek against the hardwood woke Aomi from his slumber. Stirring awake somehow broke the tether holding his lower body up on the bed and he slipped the rest of the way off with a soft thud. The hardwood wasn't nearly as comforting and inviting as the bed would've been, encouraging him to untangle and pull himself up with a powerful, groggy yawn.

Looking over his sleeping partners, Aomi smiled, a warm wave of love spreading from his chest just seeing them that morning. What angels…♡

…Apparently there was some kissing monster that got Hakarane and Tohruta in the middle of the night, though. Fortunately, it only left kiss marks and nothing worse.

…oh wait, someone's missing.

"Rentarou?"

The shift in his blankets implied that he got up on his own, at the very least. If Aomi knew Rentarou (and he was confident of that now,) he probably got up and went to ask permission from the staff to start making them breakfast… and breakfast sounded so good right now. "Hopefully he made coffee," Aomi yawned and trudged out the door.

It still felt surreal being here, willingly and unscathed. Compared to the Furukane household, the Hanazono estate was drenched in the opulence that the Furukanes turned their nose up at, preferring sleek and efficient minimalism… and then for some reason, Aomi's thoughts turned to his mother… and Hahari… that's quite the secret to be holding on to, Mom. But now that he thought about it, the majority of the griping about the Hanazonos from his family came more from his grandfather, Old Man Furukane. Guess it makes sense that Midori had never mentioned- "FATHER!!!!"

"FGYYAAAACK!" That fright woke Aomi up entirely and nearly ejected his soul from his body, a sentiment shared by the cat of a wealthy family as they both came upon Rentarou Aijou sprawled in a mangled starfish pose in the middle of the hallway. "Geez…" Aomi wheezed, trying to settle his heart after the shock. "I-It's too early in the morning for you to be scaring me like that… Rentarou? What're you doing out here?"

Rentarou sat up and blinked around in a haze. "Who…? Where…? It… it was a dream?"

"Sleepwalker?" Aomi asked, crouching down to offer a hand up.

"Not usually, no."

"This must've been one hell of a dream, then," Aomi chuckled, brushing the dust off of Rentarou's back. "What was it about?"

"I spoke with Hakari's late father-"

"Eh!? So this place is haunted!"

"Er… was."

Eventually, the Family's visit to the Hanazono house had to come to an end. "So soon?" Hahari sighed. "I know you have school but it's so early…"

"'Fraid so," Rentarou replied regretfully. "We have to go home and change into our uniforms."

The mention of uniforms flipped a switch in Kiyoshi's brain. "Oh, crap," he muttered to himself. "My uniform's at home. A whole train ride there and back, I might not get to school before the first-"

"I thought of that," Tohru answered, casually digging Kiyoshi's uniform from his duffel bag and handing it over. "Here you go."

Kiyoshi blinked, the mental math not adding up. "…when did you find the time to get to my house and back?"

"Don't worry about it."

"Don't just brush it off with 'don't worry about it!' I'm gonna worry about it now! …are my parents and grandmother still alive?"

"Yes!? What kind of question is that!?"

"Well, you came here with such murderous intent, didn't you!?"

"What happened to 'thank you!?'"

Hahari giggled over Rentarou and his lovers' antics, missing them before they even left her doorstep. "Alright… but please do come by and see me again soon, okay?"

"I will. I'll be back soon," Rentarou promised.

And so, the lovebirds flew their separate ways…

…until around lunch time when the school was pulled into an 'emergency' assembly to welcome their new chairwoman, Hahari Hanazono!

After the introductions to the student body were made, Hahari and her accompanying maid, Mei Meido (naturally) went to check out her brand new office. So far, so much potential. Only the basics were here, a desk for her and a couch and a coffee table for any visitors. The walls were bare and it sorely needed a plant of some kind but for Hahari, it was perfect.

Hahari excitedly flittered about the room, chattering about pieces to bring from home to spruce up her new office and Mei taking mental notes of everything Hahari listed… and adding an extra note to oil up the hinges on the door. That was quite the squeak it made.

Hahari breathed an awed breath, looking through the window of her new office down to all the cuties- *ahem* students puttering around the courtyard. That one at the gate trying to drum up interest in the girl's baseball club was especially cute. Mei carefully swiped off a forgotten fingerprint from the glass beside her. Aside from that one fingerprint, the glass was nice and clean without any glare or even much reflection whatsoever. Someone could easily sneak up on them if they wanted to and they wouldn't even know the difference…

Just to be sure, Mei whipped her 'blinded' gaze over her shoulder and she didn't sense anyone approaching. Either no one is there or they're really good at stealth… she should have some infrared sensors installed.

Hahari gave a long sigh. "I didn't see Rentarou-chan anywhere down there~" she whined, missing her Rentarou-chan so dearly. "We have a lot of students here but you'd think I'd be able to pick him out of a crowd…"

Mei's phone vibrated in her pocket and she was quick to respond. "Meido… Hello, Mai… Oh? Oh, I see. Thank you so much for informing us, Mai. The mistress will be quite pleased." After completely making her 'little sister's' day, Mei hung up and informed Hahari, "It would seem that Aijou-sama left school during lunch break and returned to the estate."

"Oh~♡ He came to see me right away~♡" Hahari swooned. "…agh, I should've timed the assembly for later in the day then."

"I believe one of the R&D labs connected to your company finished a prototype that could reverse time. I'll have them send it to the estate right away, Hahari-sama."

"We have a time machine?"

Suddenly something cold, hard, metallic and very noticeably dangerous pressed into Hahari's spine and on instinct, Hahari's hands shot up. "Now, now," the gunwoman chirped, keeping Mei at bay with a second handgun. "You stay right over there, sweetheart. I'm just here to talk with your employer, mother-to-mother."

The mysterious assailant kept blocking every angle Mei could've slipped around her through and with Hahari's life on the line… "H-Hahari-sama?"

"It's alright, Mei," Hahari said, forcing herself to stay calm. "We're just going to talk." She slowly and carefully looked over her shoulder and said, "You must be Tohru's mother."

"That's me~♡" Yua replied.

"That… was quite impressive. Neither of us even heard you come in."

"I've been waiting under the couch the whole time~♡"

"How… how did you even know that I was planning to buy the school?"

"You think I simply left and that was it?" Yua softly sneered. "Perhaps you trust your outlets and fire alarms and the dashboard of your car a bit too much~♡"

"You… planted listening devices?"

"I did~♡ I came back in the middle of the night and hooked them up~♡ Just to be sure that everything was really okay~♡"

"By the way, how did the sleepover go?" Yua asked. "Did everyone have a good time~♡?"

"Yes, I believe so."

"…and you were on your best behavior with my son and my future children-in-law, right?"

"Yes, absolutely I w-" Oh. Uh, the peeping thing. "…y-yes?"

"Hmm~♡? Why do you suddenly sound so nervous~♡?"

Oops, Hahari somehow managed to play herself into a corner… but she still has the 'appeal to motherhood' card and if Tohru and Yua are anything alike and the author's belief that the 'dere types' don't have to be restricted to just romantic love holds up… May as well give that a try. "T-Tohru-chan… seems like such a sweet boy~♡"

And Yua took the bait. "Isn't he~♡?" Yua gushed. "I admit, at first I thought I couldn't be any happier than I already was when I secured his father but then I was blessed with this perfect mix of the both of us~♡ A symbol of our everlasting love~♡"

"Oh, I-I said something similar in the last chapter, about my own daughter!"

"Oh~♡?"

"So, maybe we should put the gun down and be friends instead?"

"Don't hold your breath on that."

"Oh well, it was worth a try…"

"You see…" Yua explained. "Us Aikawas need love in order to function like ordinary people. My great-grandfather, my grandmother, my mother, me and even my baby boy, Tohru, we spent the majority of our formative years in a fog that doesn't lift until you met the one person that completes you. I knew it, I experienced it myself but to watch your precious baby simply stumble through life, empty, because of something neither he or you can control… as a mother, you understand how much that hurts to watch, don't you?"

Hahari nodded. Trying to envision a quiet, empty Hakari… her heart ached just at the concept.

"So when my boy finally comes home, bright-eyed and cheery and just like the child I envisioned when I was pregnant with him because he finally met the man of his dreams, I never wanted to see him empty and listless ever again… which is why I tagged along in secret and decimated your security forces~♡ I just want my baby boy to be happy~♡"

There, Hahari spotted a potential thread to grab a hold of. "So… at the end of the day, we were both thinking about our children and wanting to protect them," Hahari suggested. "Me by keeping Hakari from experiencing the kind of regret I felt in my past and you by… digging your claws in and protecting what Tohru-chan loved."

"…Hmm. When you put it like that…"

"…So, since we have that value in common, we should reallyputthegunddownandbefriendsinstead?"

"Stop trying to make that a thing."

"Curses, foiled again~"

Maybe all Yua needs is reassurance that Tohru will never lose his loved ones? Would it be so simple? Hahari sighed and admitted, "My Hakari's been my shining ray of hope since the day she was born. All I want is for her to be happy. But… I probably overreached this time. Spending the night with her and her new loved ones, I can tell she's extremely happy. If you're worried that something like this might happen again, there's no need to be. I've learned my lesson."

"Good, I'll hold you to it~♡ If you somehow get your character development reversed and forget…♡" A blood-freezing click echoed off the walls, scaring the absolute daylights out of Hahari and Mei. "I'll remember to load this thing next time~♡"

With that, Yua released her hostages and the first thing Mei did was zip over and fuss over her mistress. "Hahari-sama! Are you alright!?"

"Phew… r-really wish I picked the brown panties this morning…"

"Please forgive me, Hahari-sama! My own carelessness allowed this situation to happen! I'll gladly pay for my failure with my life!"

"No, live, you're beautiful!"

Yua made sure her sidearms were nice and tucked away, smoothed out the wrinkles on her pink gingham dress and straightened out one of her heart-shaped buns, now nice and proper like a typical mother that dropped by to check on her child. Nothin' to worry about with this sweet lady! "I'm glad we had this talk~♡" Yua chirped. "Let me know if the kids actually plan to sleep over next time~♡ I'll send a plate of cookies along with Tohru and… you'll have to decide how brave you are about eating them~♡ Bye-Bye~♡" And Yua trotted out the door, leaving a frazzled Hahari and Mei behind her.

"…wow, what a cutie~♡"

"Hahari-sama?"

"Kanata, dear?"

"Huh- me? Uh, yeah? What's up?"

"Can you do something about Tohru, please?" Hakari pleaded, a rose-haired yandere backpack hanging off of her that wouldn't let her go no matter how much she wiggled. "I need- *ahem* I was going to retire to the little girl's room to 'powder my nose' for a moment but he won't… peel… off!"

"You can just take me with you," Tohru casually retorted.

"I can't take you into the women's restroom with me!"

"Why not?"

"Society!"

Already exhausted by Tohru's antics, Kanata sighed and wedged his arm in between the two pinkies, prying Tohru off of Hakari and the second she could, Hakari darted off with a quick, "I'm free!"

"Nooo, Hakari~"

"Get a grip, man," Kanata said. "She's not going to disappear again."

"How do you know that?"

"'Cuz what would be the point of kidnapping Hakari from the Family when you're in the Family now?"

"It might not be Hahari next time-"

"Get a grip and come eat your lunch."

After a while, Hakari returned from her close call and found her spot in the circle with her boyfriends and girlfriends. All around her, she was surrounded by love. Aomi and Nano weighing the pros and cons of something he planned to suggest to his boss, Kusuri gabbing Shizuka's ear off about a new drug she was working on while she listened and nodded in rapture, Karane, Rei and Kiyoshi chatting about what was on the Roadshow the other day and Kanata trying to peel Tohru off of Hakari again. And to think, she nearly came close to never seeing any of them ever again…

"Thank you." Those two words punctured the lackadaisical atmosphere and drew everyone's attention to her. Hakari smiled and continued, "…for everything. I'm so blessed to have so many people that love me as much as you all do in my life~♡" Her sentiment was answered with agreeing affirmations of their love for her, Tohru's cheek nuzzling into her shoulder a little deeper. With a flirty giggle, Hakari added, "You know, I don't think I've thanked you all properly for coming to my rescue yet~♡"

Hakari wiggled a little bit in Tohru's grasp so she could plant a kiss on his lips and after a moment for his system to catch up, Tohru returned that love ten- fifteen- twenty-fold, absolutely coating her face in kisses. It was cute for a while… but Tohru clung tighter and it got a little less cute. "Okay, okay~♡ Tohru… T-Tohru, I'd like to kiss the others too… Tohru? Kanata, help, he got me again."

After Kanata peeled Tohru off again, Hakari scooted around the circle to give everyone else a 'thank you' kiss.

"Mwah~♡!" Hakari placed a kiss on the brow of her favorite teeny creature.

['Teehee~♡' 'D'aww, shucks,' 'all in a day's work, madam!']

"Mwah~♡!" Hakari planted a smooch on Kanata's cheek.

"…T-Tch~♡ C'mon, i-it's not like we were gonna just let you disappear or anything, okay?"

"Mwah~♡!" Hakari scooted over and gave Kiyoshi a smooch.

"O-Oh~♡ I-I'm not sure if I deserve it, I didn't do anything really important or useful…♡"

"Abahbahbahbwahsokyute~♡ …oh God, where did that come from?"

"Mwah~♡!" Hakari enveloped Rei in a hug and planted a kiss on his lips. When she pulled back, however, she found poor Rei turned a comical monochrome and keeled over in her arms simply due to having her G-cups pressed to his chest. A pervy anime teenage boy can only handle so much fanservice at one time!

['Cripes! Ya killed him!'] Shizuka exclaimed, shifting over to check on her beloved boyfriend as his soul flitted off to excitedly inform his ancestors of the development.

'…Hmm. An interesting reaction. Gonna have to file that one away for later~♡'

"Mwah~♡!" Hakari slid over and gave Nano a peck on the lips, much to Nano's surprise.

"Error ♡ error ♡ error. Core overheat~♡ Initiating system shutdown~♡"

"Teehehee~♡ …w-wait, don't actually shut down! Nano? Nano, come back to us! Nanooo!"

Noticing she was next in line, Karane instinctively gave a tsundere harrumph and said, "I… I just didn't-" But all she got was a flat "mweh" on the cheek and Hakari moved along… very clearly just picking on her. "Hey! Give me more than that! …W-Wait, no, I-I didn't mean it like that~♡!" Finally getting the reaction she wanted, Hakari came back and kissed her girlfriend up properly.

"Mwah~♡!" Hakari leaned over and landed a kiss on Aomi's cheek. In return, Aomi scooped her into his lap and gave her a kiss Shakespeare himself would've written about if he decided to change course at the last second and turn his tragedy into something with a happier ending…

…and then for a moment, the thought of their mothers kissing each other like that- "L-Let's not think about our mothers right now." Okay. We'll revisit that in another chapter then.

"Mwah~♡!" Hakari planted a smooch on Kusuri's forehead and the little scientist beamed, chest puffed up proudly.

"Kehehe~♡ Kusuri's always wanted to save the princess from the castle at least once, yep yep~♡ Kusuri's glad her and her drugs were able to assist!"

"Mmmmmmmmmother!" Hakari's next kiss almost landed on Hahari's cheek before she recognized her own mother and yanked herself back.

"Deh heh~♡"

Everybody startled at Hahari's (and Mei's) sudden appearance in the circle. "Gah! Where'd you come from!?" Kiyoshi gasped.

"Hello, everybody~♡! Mommy's back~♡!"

Hakari sighed into her hands and asked, "Mother, why did you buy the school?"

"Because I missed you all so much! Especially Rentarou-chan!"

"Speaking of, is he still not back yet?" Karane asked.

Tohru heaved a miserable sigh. "No. He went straight back to Hakari's house to see Hahari with what break he had. I miss him so much…"

"Me too!" Hahari wailed.

"We haven't been separated that long! Both of you chill!"

"Is that… allowed?" Kanata whispered to Kiyoshi and Aomi. "No one's gonna ask why she would want to buy an entire school?"

Aomi shrugged, "With the amount of money the Hanazonos have, she could buy the whole town if she wanted to and no one would be able to question her."

"Now there's an idea~♡!"

"Now look what you've done," Kiyoshi hissed, scolding Aomi with a thump on the arm.

Kanata opened his mouth to add to the conversation but suddenly…

"No matter how far apart,

You've still got my heart.

I'll wait here forever,

'Til death do us pa-" Beep!

Tohru glanced over and found Kanata, face beet red with embarrassment and a finger pressed to the reject call button like his life depended on it. "Aww, that was so cute~" he teased. "Making one of your dad's songs your ring tone~"

"Shut up."

"Daddy's boy~"

"Shut up!"

After a couple more rejected attempts at a call, the prospective caller went quiet for a time, leaving Kanata to get lightly and lovingly teased for a bit before they went around the wall and texted him a video instead. While everyone was distracted by the big duffel bag that Hahari had carried along with her, Kanata slipped away, escaping into the stairwell so he could watch the video in peace.

Pressing the play button, Kanata was immediately greeted by an image of his father, Kenichi Tsunoda. Kanata was a complete Xerox of his father, gaining all of his looks give or take an extra 15 years and a glaring lack of 'tsun' to his 'dere.' Whatever Kenichi wanted to say was initially drowned out by a shoulder-shaking jet lag yawn and he paused for a moment to rub his eye under his sunglasses and sleepily scratch at his stubbled chin before he finally woke up enough to talk.

"Hey, buddy!" Kenichi chirped. "You must've been busy, that's probably why you hung up on me so much. But, guess what? I'm back home! Our plane touched down a few hours ago so me and the guys are…" Kenichi paused to yawn again. "…beat." To back up his claim, Kenichi turned the camera to his bandmates, all three in various states of exhaustion around their hotel room.

Kenichi turned the camera back to himself and continued, "So we're probably not going anywhere today… but tomorrow, I was thinking I'd drop by when I'm all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed again! See how you and your mom're holding up… Miss you guys."

Kanata gave a scoff. The old man was free to come and go as he pleased. It's not like he needed… oh wait. Kanata got a boyfriend while he was gone. That's… actually pretty big. He hasn't even said much about the Family to his mom yet either. He's going to have to tell them, isn't he? Better they hear about it from him than from someone else…

"Oh, by the way, I got souvenirs!" Kenichi fumbled the camera away and grabbed for something by his ankle. "Guess who I ran into during the tour? This indie artist, goes by the name of Axel Moretto." Kenichi held up a guitar pick to the camera, displaying the tiny autographed initials of one of Kanata's favorite guitarists. "I told him my boy's a huge fan of his and he sent this back with me and said he'll be looking for his 'number one fan' in the crowd when they come to Japan next year."

'T-Tch, it's so not like I'm excited for that or anything, okay!? Geez!'

"I also got something for your mom." Her souvenir slid onto the table in camera-view, a stuffed dog in a stuffed doghouse with a miserable stuffed sign that read 'I'm sorry, wife. I won't do it again.' "I figured she'd at least get a laugh out of it," Kenichi miserably laughed. "They make pretty specific gifts out here in Ameri- 'here?' 'There,' I mean. *yawn* Oh man, that jet lag's no joke." Kenichi sleepily waved at the camera and was able to sign off with, "Well, I'm gonna get a nap in. Love you, buddy. See you… tomorr…" before his head thunked to the table and the video cut out.

Well… Kanata's gonna have to tell his parents about Rentarou, huh? The mere concept of this talk shouldn't scare him as much as it did. It's not like his parents are evil or anything. They've always doted on him in their own ways… but then again, he's never heard their opinion on… something like this. There's still a chance that…

You know, being beside Rentarou makes Kanata feel secure, not that he'd ever admit to it out loud. Maybe… maybe if he brought Rentarou along, he'd feel safe enough to-

Suddenly, a rose-haired juggernaut burst through the door- quite literally, leaving the husk creaking miserably on its hinges with a Tohru-shaped hole through the middle- and Kanata nearly threw his phone down the stairs in shock. "What the hell is wrong with you!?"

"I could ask you the same thing!" Tohru retorted. "We've had enough people just disappearing for no reason for one day!"

Aomi leaned into the doorframe behind Tohru and after a shocked whistle at the property damage in Tohru's wake, said to Kanata, "Hey, there you are! Hahari said she brought a present for us, as a thank you for letting her join the Family."

Kanata sighed, slipped his phone back into his pocket and said, "Alright, alright, I'm comi-" Then suddenly he found himself over Tohru's shoulder. "Ga- I can walk there on my own two feet! Dammit, put me down, you whackjob!"

Minutes later, Rentarou stumble-jogged back into Ohananomitsu, trudging up the stairs to the roof. Just a little further. A little further and he'd be back home where his heart belongs, with the boyfriends and girlfriends that he really, really, really, really, really loved and the boyfriends and girlfriends that really, really, really, really, really loved hi-

"WHAT THE HELL!?"

"Not… exactly what I thought this 'present' was going to be, that's for sure."

"Eegh, this skirt is so short…"

Crawling through the Tohru-shaped hole in the rooftop door, Rentarou came across a sight he wasn't expecting to see right away: his precious boyfriends cute-ified Hahari Hanazono-style. The flavor of the day: cheerleaders. Each boyfriend was stuffed into a cheerleader outfit that was tailored to them individually, enough that the details would be too many to list for one paragraph alone. As it turns out, however, the author of this fanfiction has made learning how to digital art her New Year's resolution for this year, so hopefully one day soon, this fic will receive an update that adds art. Maybe then she'd be able to tackle the glasses chapter.

"R-Rentarou!" Kiyoshi gasped, covering his bare legs with his pom-poms.

Hearing that, Hahari spun around and beamed seeing her new boyfriend. "Rentarou-chan!"

"Hahari-san? I thought you were still at your house. I came to see you right away, like I said!"

"I just couldn't wait to see you again, so I cut out the middle man and just bought the school instead! Now we can see each other whenever we want!"

"That's incredible! You're a genius, Hahari-san!"

"Rentarou, darling, don't praise her."

Remembering the other boys, Hahari returned to her camera and guided them like a conductor. "Okay, boys, just like we practiced!" Kanata and Kiyoshi grimaced in dread at having to perform while Rentarou was watching but Tohru took to it like a fish to water, taking the lead.

"♡ R-E-N! ♡"

" *sigh* ♡ T-A-R! ♡"

"♡ O and U! ♡"

"♡ Rentarou, Rentarou! ♡"

"♡ We love chu! ♡"

The routine ended with the cheer squad forming a heart with their pom poms to welcome Rentarou back to the rooftop and his Family. Under the awestruck gaze of Rentarou and the drooling of his girlfriends, Kanata was the first to break and he threw his pom poms down, marching over to Hahari to get his uniform back, despite her insistence that she wasn't done taking pictures yet. Kiyoshi dropped to his heels, hiding his face in his pom poms and Aomi stayed to soothe him while Rei and Tohru hopped up to Rentarou's side.

"So~♡? What did you think~♡?" Tohru asked, sparkly rhinestone stickers matching his natural freckles.

"Were we gap moe~♡?" Rei added, his ebony locks twisted into braids that rested on his shoulders.

"I… I have the cutest boyfriends on the planet~♡! Thank you, Hahari-san~♡! This is the greatest present I could ever receive~♡!"

"Don't you start!"

"I'm sorry," Rentarou apologized again to his grumbling boyfriend as bits and pieces of the cheerleader costume were tossed out of the stall he was changing in. "I couldn't help it. I was just so overcome with love that-"

"I just don't get it," Kanata huffed, swiping his uniform trousers from off the door. "I thought you hated cross-dressing-"

"When it's me," Rentarou laughed. "But on my boyfriends-"

"Gah, whatever! I'm done with this topic!"

"Alright," Rentarou said with an endeared smile. His boyfriend was so cute~♡

Kanata finished changing in embarrassed silence… and then he remembered the video he got from earlier. Rentarou is sitting right there and if he asked…

After straightening out his uniform, he inched out of the changing stall, finding Rentarou sat nearby, waiting for him. "Hey… Rentarou?"

"Yes?"

"Are… are you doing anything tomorrow?"

"Nothing comes to mind. Why?"

"…Would you want to come over to my place?"