Chapter Text
Fenris stared as the Gallows loomed ahead, his hand gripping the side of the boat tight as they cut through the freezing waves. He couldn't remember exactly why he was heading there, only that he needed to get there quickly. Dread filled his stomach like lead, his heart pounding and fingers beginning to tap out a staccato rhythm as they came closer. He was stepping out of the boat before it had even touched the dock, water lapping at his foot as he hurried up the stairs, not wanting to know what awaited him inside but knowing he couldn't simply walk away.
The courtyard was empty of both Templar and Tranquil. Every door was shut. The only sound that drifted through was the faint howl of the wind as it passed through. Fenris shifted on his feet, hands clenching and releasing at his sides before he went through the closest door, remembering why he was here. He didn't have his sword, only his armor, but it didn't matter.
Anders was here, and he would get him back.
The hallways were just as empty as the courtyard, leaving even his quiet, hurried footsteps to resound in the silence. He didn't know where they were keeping Anders, didn't even know where he was going. He'd never been further than the courtyard. Doors lined the hall, each one leading to an empty room. The fear grew. Where was he?
Fenris called out Anders' name, his own voice echoing back. Door after door, each with the bare essentials, none with Anders. He didn't know how long he searched, how many doors he opened and left that way. The quiet was pressing at that point, pushing against him and seeming to amplify every noise he made, tossing his own voice back every time he called for Anders. How many corners had he turned, how many doors opened? He almost missed it, the one door barely ajar. It was such a small thing, such a miniscule detail, but so jarringly different from all the other hallways he'd seen so far that he slowed to a stop.
He almost didn't want to hope.
His steps were slow when he started moving towards the door, hope making his heart pound and dread threatening to close his throat. Fenris pushed the door open further, the wood swinging easily on its hinges, relief nearly swamping him when he saw Anders making the bed. He was even wearing that ridiculous coat.
It was odd, seeing him act so calm despite being held in the place he despised most of all. The door was open and there were no Templars in sight. There weren't even other mages, why hadn't he run? He hesitated before taking a step forward. It was Anders, he knew that for a fact, and he didn't appear to be injured. His hands were free of scrapes and bruises and not a hair was out of place. Perhaps more magebane? He knew it could addle the brain if given continuously for extended periods of time, but surely he hadn't been missing that long.
When had he started this search? He shook his head, walking closer. It didn't matter, he needed to bring Anders home.
"Anders." The mage didn't even startle, only straightened from where he was fixing the pillows and turned to face him.
"Hello, Fenris. Did you need something?"
Fenris barely registered Anders speaking, convinced his heart stopped as he stared at the sunburst mocking him from the middle of Anders' forehead.
"Forgive me." His whisper was hoarse when he closed the last of the distance between them, hands gently urging Anders to sit on the bed. His hands were trembling faintly as he cupped Anders' face, staring down into eyes- once telling of every emotion the former mage felt- now dull and empty. He would no longer smile, no longer laugh over the most ridiculous things, no longer smile and coo to the cats Fenris had accidentally gifted him. No longer smile in that soft-eyed, lovesick way he did before pulling Fenris close for a hug or a kiss, if not both.
"You're shaking."
"I am sorry."
"You have no reason to be." Fenris' chest felt too tight as Anders' blank expression. He had experienced heartbreak once before, in Seheron, but this felt infinitely worse. He had failed again despite swearing he wouldn't, had broken his promise to keep Anders safe.
"I have every reason to be." He rested their foreheads together, the raised skin of the branding feeling so very wrong. His hands dropped from Anders' cheeks to wrap around him, his face resting against the feathers he never understood the purpose of as a tear fell. He muttered another apology as his grip tightened, no other tears falling but sorrow crushing him all the same. Why hadn't he protected him? Anders' hand gripped his shoulder and Fenris trembled, holding him tighter.
"Fenris," Anders shook him and he frowned. Why was he shaking him? "Fenris." Anders' voice was different from their conversation, back to how it was before the tranquility.
"Fenris, wake up!"
Fenris' eyes snapped open when Anders shook him again, quickly shoving himself upright from where he had been sleeping on his stomach to grab Anders' wrist and drag him back onto the bed. He ignored Anders' yelp of surprise and indignation from the treatment as he pushed back his hair to see his forehead. The skin was clear, pale and free of any branding, and the amber eyes under it were confused as they stared up at him. He was fine. It was only a dream.
"You are unhurt?"
"Startled out of my wits, but, no, not hurt. Are you all right?" Fenris only nodded, moving to rest his forehead against Anders' chest, relaxing fully when Anders gently ran his fingers through his hair, the mage's other arm wrapped securely around his shoulders.
"Must have been quite the dream, you kept apologizing to someone." Fenris shifted so his cheek was against Anders' chest. Between the nightmare and being startled awake, his heart took a bit before it slowed, the elf focusing on Anders' heartbeat and breathing to pace his own.
"It was about you."
"Hm?"
"The nightmare. You were made Tranquil and I did not know what to do." Anders remained silent for a bit, playing with Fenris' hair.
"When I went missing, is that what you imagined had happened?"
"Once I heard it was Templars responsible, yes." Anders nodded, smiling slightly when Fenris looked up at him.
"The Fade has an awful tendency to take our wants and our fears and warp them to the extreme when we sleep, especially here in Kirkwall. But, thankfully it didn't happen, yeah? Which means we can still apparently annoy Hawke," His smile grew when Fenris snorted and pushed himself upright again. "What? It does! You and I both know I'm not wrong."
Fenris left to head to the kitchen, shaking his head and smiling when Anders followed shortly, now suggesting different things they could discuss to see if Hawke would intervene.