Chapter Text
It might be hard for me to leave; I love this world, it’s true.
But think of the many worlds I’d love / if I traveled them with you.
.｡.:+☆*:.｡.
His elders’ words echo in his head as he stares into the wilderness beyond the fence lining their property. The forest is forbidden, it hisses in his ear.
If not for the boy of the stars, he would not give his mother and grandmother’s warnings the time of day, but the boy didn’t dare jump the fence for fear of disappointing his family, so Felix, too, obeyed.
But his star has escaped his grasp, fizzled out and left him in the dark.
Evening falls and he’s all alone, the porchlight comes on in the distance. His mother will come find him soon, but he’s all alone now, with nothing stopping him.
Stay curious, little one, his father’s voice beckons him forward.
Not tall enough to keep him out anymore, he pushes himself over the fence with ease. Landing on the other side he expects the world to end.
He waits. There is no change, no shift in the air, or darkness gripping his heart. The farmland isn’t in flames and he’s got all limbs intact. Looking at the forest ahead, he feels the call of the wild grab his hand, pulling him forward to explore and experience the new things awaiting him.
He looks back once more, expecting an apprehensive Chris calling him back, but finds only the tall grass swaying with the evening breeze. Waving him goodbye.
Take care out there, it tells him.
He wipes the tear before it rolls off his cheek and tears his eyes away, staring ahead at the unknown awaiting him.
I’m sorry mommy, I’m sorry grammy, he murmurs, for he will surely be late for supper.
.｡.:+☆*:.｡.
They run.
As soon as the deal is done, they run. Their feet hit pavement back on the other side of the portal and he’s running. He’s not sure where exactly they’re going, but he won’t stop until they’re far, far away
Felix.
How could he have let this happen? Why is he so weak?
Felix.
He’s destroyed enough lives, why doesn’t he ever learn that he’ll only make it worse !?
“Felix!”
He steps on a loose shoelace, feet falling over each other and he goes tumbling to the ground. Chris skids to a halt, dropping to his knees to help Felix sit up.
“Are you okay?”
A train runs past at the station next to them, the loud clanking of the rails sounding much too loud. His head throbs as his vision swims. A low droning fills his ears and his body is losing its strength, turning his stomach. Reaching for his satchel makes his hand twinge, and he cringes at the sight of the scratched off skin.
“Woah, calm down, you’re hurt.” Chris grabs his hand and cradles it in his hold, picking out the biggest pieces of gravel out of his marred palm.
“I need. Pills. In there.”
Chris scrambles to get the bottle, popping it open and handing Felix one. Felix gathers as much saliva in his mouth as possible before popping it in dry, swallowing it with some difficulty. He props himself up against the fence behind him, and Chris sits down next to him.
“What are those for? Ah, if you don’t mind me asking.”
“I don’t,” he says through the droning in his head. Chris's questions have become a sort of comfort, helping him stay grounded when he starts losing grip of himself. So he doesn't mind, not in the least. “They help with time sickness.”
“Time sickness? What’s that?”
“A generalized word for… a condition. It’s got a lot of different causes, most commonly it happens the first time you jump or if you jump too much in a short span of time.”
Chris takes this in, mulls it over. “I take it your reason isn’t common.”
Felix shakes his head. “Nope.”
“Is this what will happen to me if I stay?”
He's not even surprised anymore that he's caught on so fast. Felix wants to apologize, but when he looks at Chris he isn’t sad, he’s… angry?
“I promise that won't happen to you, I won't let it, and-and I know it's my fault I got you in this mess and I–”
“No, that’s not-” Chris growls frustratedly and Felix shuts his mouth. He has all the reason to be angry with Felix for getting him into this mess, but instead what he says is: “Did he do this to you?”
Oh, right, he thinks. His scratched up palms still twinge when he flexes his fingers anxiously. “No.”
Chris’s frown turns confused. “Then who did?”
The air feels thin again, so Felix reaches for his hand, and Chris immediately accepts it, mindful of his injury. He cradles his hand with care and kindness that Felix feels wholly undeserving of. Sucking in a breath, he holds it for a second, two, three… then lets it go.
“I did,” he admits, quiet as a whisper.
Another train pulls into the station, brakes screeching for a moment before it stops. It lets off a puff of steam and the doors open to let commuters off, the patter of feet like raindrops. Chris remains quiet. Felix wants to know what he’s thinking, so badly. If this is the thing that’ll make him hate Felix, if he too will see him for the weak, spineless boy he is. Except he knows Chris, can see him at his core and he’d never be so ruthless or cruel to him. Chris is warm and kind and everything Felix admires, so the question doesn’t smart as much when it comes.
“Why?”
A memory pops into his head, of the boy woven from starlight setting a flower crown of weeds atop his head and rivaling the brightness of the sun as he tells him, ‘Don’t let them stop you.’
“I-I don’t know? Curiosity? I was a kid and rebelled when yo–” He glances at Chris, not his Chris, not the one he grew up with in the corn fields or wove flower crowns with. Someone else's Chris. “When my best friend moved away.”
“How does rebelling lead to you becoming… world-less?”
“I maybe, kind of went against my parents’ warnings and explored the forbidden area beyond our property line, and—and, I stumbled into a portal. Just like you.”
Chris sits up straight, eyes wide. “You fell into the wrong universe?”
“I didn’t fall, as such, just. Followed the jumper into it.”
“The jumper, as in…?” He mimes pointed ears and an evil grin. Felix snorts and nods. “So his watch broke too? Is that why he knows how to fix one?”
“It wasn’t the same exact device as it is now, but yeah. It got fried and we were stuck in this new universe, which had really advanced technology thankfully, so it didn’t take him long to find a way to fix it.”
“But, longer than three days?” Felix nods grimly. Chris hums solemnly. He's taking this much too well for someone in this situation. Felix was a wreck when he found out, although he was also a child and Chris is a grown up, but still. “So, what happens if you don’t return before then?”
The fog in his mind has lifted and he's now acutely aware of the fear and anxiety pressing its way up his esophagus. Felix squeezes Chris’s hand, hoping to siphon some of his courage for himself. “Do you really want to know?”
A squeeze back. “Tell me.”
He takes a few deep breaths as the train whistle signals its departure. As the clanking of its wheels gets further away, he launches into the explanation he has been told.
When one leaves their home universe where they were created and where they’re intended to be, the Weave tries to correct the situation the best it can; meaning, the Weave erases whatever you were and whatever you were meant to become.
As soon as Felix had followed Mori into the portal, the Weave had begun its slow process of mending the void his absence had created. Seventy-two hours later, his immediate ties—his family—were cut and they supposedly vanished off the fabric of that universe, as if they never existed at all. It causes a ripple effect that affects the other versions of those people out there in the multiverse, either erasing them as well or altering their lives significantly. Other significant connections get the same treatment, which is why he’s sure his Chris had to have been erased, too, since he's never found him before stumbling upon U-143.
“And even if Mori had wanted to help me get back home—which he didn’t—he didn’t remember the coordinates, so we couldn’t return anyway,” Felix finishes, sagging against the fence, somehow lighter and feeling like himself again. Relying on meds sucks. He can’t wait to have his warp back. “I’ve tried searching for it but it’s impossible to know when there’s nothing tying me to it. No large neon-sign telling me 'You're home!'”
Chris hums, probably trying to process everything Felix has just told him. It’s a lot he knows. It took him a long, long time to come to terms with the fact that this was reality and not a bad dream he could snap himself out of.
And with an uncanny ability to pinpoint the unsaid, Chris asks: "If there's nothing left, why do you keep searching?" Why do you hold out hope?
No one's ever asked him that, mostly because he hasn't told anyone how he came to be this way. Seungmin knows Mori took him in, and Hyunjin is aware he needs his warp to stay alive, but. Neither knows. He's never told them because he doesn't deserve their pity or their sympathy.
But Chris isn't giving him either, just plain and simple child-like curiosity, and Felix finds it doesn't make him as scared as he thought it would. So he says the only thing he can think of: “To find familiar faces.”
Their eyes lock, and whatever apprehension he’s felt about telling Chris—confessing he knows him and has known him for a lot longer than Chris is aware of, longer than Felix has been coming to Yellow Wood for—it all melts away in this instance.
And Chris catches on immediately, pointing to himself, stunned. “Me?”
Isn’t it obvious? “You.” Don’t you feel it too?
Another train arrives and the influx of tired commuters in the street snaps him out of their little bubble. His head is clear, his legs no longer weak. Checking his normal watch tells him it’s nearing closing time for Seungmin’s.
Felix pulls Chris up by their still connected hands and motions for the station. “Let’s get cleaned up before dinner, okay?”
.｡.:+☆*:.｡.
They get off at the station closest to his apartment building, still hand in hand for reassurance and comfort. And something else that’s budding between them. Something he isn’t brave enough to put a word to, yet.
Entering the courtyard through the walkway built through the mishmash of buildings, he leads them to the door on the left. The outside leaves a lot to be desired, not that the inside is any better. At least it’s cheap.
He punches in the code for the door and it beeps, long and loud, signalling it’s unlocked. The entry hallway is narrow, with the elevator and staircase to the right, the laundry room at the end, and the landlady’s unit to the left. Lost in thought, he totally forgot to check if her blinds were open. He hopes they weren’t.
Evidently they were, as the metal door of the unit flies open with a loud bang, and out strides a small woman like a storm-cloud brandishing a broom.
“Boy-ah, you’re avoiding me! You still owe me for the damages.” She wobbles up to him on her bad leg and pokes him in the chest with the end of the broom, holding up her hand for the amount she’s owed. She might not look like much but she terrifies the living shit out of him.
“Uhh, yeah…” Felix wracks his brain for a way to pay her, remembering the tips Jeongin let him keep earlier. Rummaging through his satchel he grabs the credits and hands them gingerly to her. She snatches them from him, counting it quickly.
“Not enough!” She raises her broom again, making Felix raise his hands in surrender.
“Yeah, I know, I-I’ll have the rest for you at the end of the lunar cycle. Okay?”
Her face scrunches up as she thinks, attempting to see through him for any lies. She lowers the broom. “Four days, or your things will be in the street.”
She wobbles her way back to her unit, letting the door slam behind her. Felix doesn’t know whether he should laugh or cry at the hole he’s managed to dig himself in.
“She’s a real character,” Chris observes bluntly.
Felix laughs, surprised, and then covers his mouth in fear of his landlady coming out to beat him with her broom for his insolence. “Come on,” he speaks through muffled laughter and pulls Chris up the stairs.
They get to his landing, and Felix fishes his keys out, wiggling it in the lock before finding the right angle to unlock it.
“Is that the damage she spoke of?” Chris asks and points to the bottom of his unit’s door, that’s contorted; first bent out then back in, with scratches along the edges that no longer align correctly with the doorframe. Like something crawled out of there forcefully.
“Yeah. The mark of a fearsome beast.”
Chris becomes concerned, staring at the warped metal like he’ll get eaten by whatever’s hiding inside, and Felix snorts. He yanks the door open and chirps.
In a flash, Bbokari crawls into view from the living room and bounds full speed for the door. Chris shrieks and jumps back as the little creature leaps, flapping its wings and trills happily as he latches onto Felix’s arm.
“What the fuck is that!?” Chris shouts, plastered against the wall with a hand to his chest.
Felix pets the lizard-bird mix on the head with a finger. “Chris, meet Bbokari. Bbokari, Chris.” Bbokari chirps a tune that could be interpreted as a greeting.
“What is he?” Chris lets his hand drop but stays where he is, taking Bbokari in, from the feathers and wings to the four legs and tail.
“He’s a part lizard, part tropical bird hybird. With some chicken DNA in the mix, I think.” He pets his finger over the two red feathers on the top of Bbokari’s otherwise yellow head. Chris looks at the little creature in wonder, reaching out to pet him with Felix’s encouragement, and finally relaxing when Bbokari trills happily at his touch.
“He’s kind of… beautiful.”
Felix covers Bbokari’s ears. “Shh, don’t let him hear you. Praise goes straight to his head.” Bbokari lets out a preening chirrup from beneath his hand, so Felix sighs and lets him go. “See? Now look at what you’ve done.”
Chris laughs and follows them inside. Felix removes his shoes, placing them on the rack one-handed since Bbokari insists on clinging to his arm with all the strength he’s got. He feels heavier which means Felix did remember to feed him this morning.
“You can go take a seat in the living room,” Felix offers when Chris has unlaced his shoes and left them on the rack next to his. “It’s just straight ahead, can’t miss it. Do you want a drink?”
Chris stops next to him in the doorway to the kitchen, looking around and taking it in. “What do you have?”
“I’ve got coffee.”
“You do?” Chris sighs with glee when Felix takes down the tin from his cupboard, waving it in answer. “I wouldn’t mind a cup.”
“Coming right up!”
He loads his coffee maker—the 143 kind—and waits for the coffee to start dripping into the pot. The smell is warm and earthy and makes him think of home, his grandparents’s house, and the café. His kitchen light flickers which reminds him he needs to replace it—after he’s paid off his mountain of debt. Shit.
The coffee maker clicks off after a moment and he peels Bbokari off his arm to place him on the cat tree mounted on the wall, then pulls down two cups from his cupboard. He pours his own cup halfway to leave room for plenty of milk and sugar, and then hesitates before pouring the other one, not sure how Chris likes it.
“Any milk or sugar?” He calls loudly to be heard into the living room and waits for a reply. And waits. “Chris?”
No answer.
Worry fills him immediately as he rushes to the living room, only to find Chris safe and sound. He’s standing by the shelves next to his bed, staring at… Oh no.
“You kept all these?”
“It’s not what it looks like!” He smacks himself mentally. Oh yeah, genius? Then what the fuck does it look like?
The takeaway cups sit accusingly on the shelves, lit up by the golden hour sunlight peeking in, each placed so Chris’s scrawled puns are facing outward. There’s sixteen in total, seventeen if he added the one from yesterday to his collection. Felix wants to hide away, mortified.
“No? Because to me it looks like you kept a memento from each visit to the café.”
“I can explain!” Felix rushes out, scrambling for any explanation that could save him, but Chris isn’t angry or horrified by the, frankly, quite stalkerish display of evidence. No, he’s… laughing?
“Felix, it’s alright.” The tips of his ears are red and the rosy hue is spreading onto his cheeks as he grins. “It’s cute.”
“Oh.” Oh.
“So don’t be embarrassed, it’s sweet,” Chris assures him, and takes another look at the cups. They stand out against all the other trinkets Felix has collected over the years on his errands and expeditions; so very mundane in between the crystals and relics and antiques displayed, yet the ones with the most meaning to him. “You’re sweet.”
Felix feels hot all over, but his medication shouldn’t lose its effect until much later? “Th-thanks?”
Chris laughs again, a tinkling sound that he’ll never tire of hearing. “There was coffee?”
Felix’s brain has trouble rewiring itself, stuck playing ‘You’re sweet’ over and over like a broken record. “What? Oh, yeah.”
They sit down at his kitchen table to enjoy their drinks, Chris pouring in at least the same amount, if not more, milk as Felix, and they argue if it even counts as coffee when the ratio is so skewed. Bbokari snores softly behind them as the last rays of the sunset crawl across his floor.
.｡.:+☆*:.｡.
The town square has emptied out as the time nears midnight, and the people have gathered inside the various bars and clubs instead, crowded around the entrances to smoke and chat. Seungmin’s restaurant has closed for the night, all the chairs on the patio turned over onto the tables and the signs cleared away. The front food is open when he tries the handle, like it always is when they hang back to feed his sorry ass.
“Anyone in?” Felix calls out, expecting Changbin or Seungmin to pop out of the kitchen, but instead out comes Dahyun.
“Lixie! You came!” She lifts him into a hug with ease, squeezing his middle tight—too tight, he’ll be feeling this in his ribs tomorrow—before letting him go. “Ooh, and cool guy with the muscles. Can you get me one?” She stage whispers to Felix, eyeing Chris up and down pointedly.
Felix rubs his sore ribs, and gestures to Chris. “Dahyun, this is Chris. He jumped through with me on accident. He’s not staying so don’t get attached.”
“Could if I would,” Chris adds and sways on his feet awkwardly.
“Aw, that’s too bad,” Dahyun pouts playfully, sticking out her bottom lip. “Well, what can I get you guys?”
“I’ll have my usual and a menu for him, thanks.”
Dahyun salutes them cutely, leading them to the cluttered bar that’s clearly left a mess in the middle of restocking. She clears space for them at the counter, giving them a glass of water each and pulls out a menu for Chris. She disappears into the kitchen with a ‘be right back,’ carrying a crate that shouldn’t look so effortless to carry.
Chris is admiring the welcoming, down-to-earth interior, with its real canvas paintings, the scuff marks on the well-loved seating, thick wooden beams across the ceiling and paneling on the wall. With so much of the city being mostly metal and concrete, the wooden architecture makes Seungmin’s a breath of fresh air.
Listening to Seungmin talk about his dream seemed so daunting when they were small boys staring up at the stars on the grassy hills behind his home. He had spoken so reverently, like he had all the faith in the world of making his dream a reality one day, and Felix feels foolish for having ever doubted his conviction. He wonders if Seungmin remembers what Felix had admitted his dream to be, too.
“Ready to order?” Dahyun bounces up to the counter and leans onto her elbows to stare straight at Chris who is wholly confused by their selection.
“I can’t pronounce half of the food on this list and the ingredients are a total mystery, so,” he looks helplessly up at Dahyun, “recommend me something?”
“First time on Chrono, huh? Okay, lemme think.”
“No, wait, I know. Get him,” and then Felix speaks the name of the dish in the Chrono native tongue to purposefully confuse Chris whose helplessness with the culture is oh so amusing.
“Ooh, good choice!” She claps her hands together. “You’ll love it.” Dahyun winks at Chris and disappears off to the kitchen once again.
“What did you get me?”
“Just trust me,” Felix says and winks, mimicking Dahyun. Chris groans and mutters something along the lines of ‘I hate both of you.’
The dish Dahyun brings out is similar to what he’s seen on Earth labeled as ramen, with thick noodles and vegetables and meat in a rich broth. The colours are not quite the same and some of the ingredients are nothing like what’s found in U-143, but Felix urges him to try it. Chris hesitates, taking a cautious whiff, then groans with delight at the first bite.
They eat their meals and drink their complimentary drinks (that Changbin definitely would have added to his tab if he was here) as Dahyun regales them with stories. Some involving her, some she’s witnessed but not been a part of, and the rest overheard from patrons or other staff.
“And he tried to upchuck the food and even made it ‘presentable’ so he wouldn’t have to pay for it. Can you believe that?” Dahyun shakes her head with amusement, restocking the clean glasses onto their respective racks. “The dude almost pissed his pants when we threatened the cops, so Binnie sent him to the back to wash dishes. That’s what you get for trying to dine and dash.”
“Someone once grabbed the cookie jar and flung them at us when she saw that the owner had raised the prices for her precious oatmilk latte,” Chris tells, with a haunted, vacant stare, relating to the craziness of customer service. “There were crumbs everywhere.”
Dahyun cackles so hard her arm shakes as she’s placing a glass on the metallic rack, clinking it against the metal. The lights in the kitchen flick off then and Seungmin comes out, out of his chef’s jacket and back in his everyday clothes, tail perking up a little despite his exhaustion.
“Time to go you guys, you too Dahyun,” Seungmin orders as Dahyun tries to protest, only halfway through her work because of their conversations. He turns to the two of them, “How was the food?”
Felix’s plate is practically licked clean and Chris’s bowl is empty save a few pieces of vegetable he found too odd for his liking. “Great, compliments to the chef.”
Seungmin’s tail flicks happily as his eyes scrunch up with the force of his smile. “I’m glad! It’s a bit daunting to serve foreigners who aren’t used to our food and customs.”
“Well, you did a fantastic job.”
Felix almost feels like they’re flirting with how cutesy both of them are acting. “Get a room.”
Seungmin swats Felix with his tail. “Says you.”
He not so subtly jerks his head in Chris’s direction, who is flushed red, and it’s Felix’s turn to swat Seungmin. Dahyun at least has the decency to hide her snort behind her palm.
They polish off their drinks as Dahyun packs up her things and they all follow Seungmin out as he locks up. Bidding each other good night, Dahyun blows them a kiss as they part ways and head for their respective homes.
Felix is pleasantly buzzed, not having the luxury to enjoy alcohol all that often, so he basks in his drunkenness as they walk the moonlit street back home. It’s only once they’re a block away from his apartment that he realizes he should’ve taken Chris back to Hyunjin’s.
“Shit, this is the wrong way.”
Chris stops and looks down the street at his building. “That’s your apartment up ahead, right? How drunk are you?”
“No, I. I’m supposed to take you to the workshop.”
“Oh,” Chris says and sounds almost disappointed. “Alright..”
“Do you,” Felix speaks before he’s even finished the thought, hesitating as the words slip past his lips. But it’s enough for Chris’s dejected frame to light up anew, and Felix knows he’s a goner. “Do you want to stay with me tonight?”
And it seems like a no-brainer when Chris replies: “If you’ll have me.”
They head up the stairs and Felix wrenches open his door that’s gotten stuck. An idea strikes him as soon as he is over the threshold. Chris walks into him, barely catching himself on the wall to not bowl Felix over, again.
“Something wrong?”
Felix turns around, eyes gleaming. “I have an idea.”
They take the elevator up to the top floor where Felix jimmies open the roof access. The night breeze ruffles their hair as they step out, towering above most of the neighboring buildings. It’s not the tallest building by any means, but one of the tallest in the immediate vicinity, awarding a gorgeous view of the night sky that Felix often finds himself drawn to.
Chris lets out an awestruck, little ‘woah,’ making Felix grin. He tugs him over to the edge of the roof, perching on it and patting the spot next to him. Chris climbs up and lets his feet dangle off the edge alongside Felix’s.
“It’s beautiful,” Chris breathes out, still in awe.
Above them, the dark night sky is filled to the brim with millions upon millions of glittering stars. Even with the naked eye, it’s possible to see some of the other planets in the solar system, bigger than the average star but smaller in size compared to the moon that’s closer and much brighter. Thanks to the shitty neighborhood, the light pollution is minimal, keeping the stars visible from his roof—the only reason he’d consider staying in this apartment if he could afford to move.
He’s always felt safely tucked in under the blanket of stars, finding solace in the peace it brings him. No matter where he is, the night sky remains largely unchanged.
“This reminds me of my childhood,” Chris says suddenly, breaking the peaceful silence that had fallen over them. “I used to watch the stars with my mom.”
He thinks of the Chris of his childhood mentioning that his mom would wait up for him when he’d escort Felix back home. “Do you miss her?”
“All the time” Chris breathes, not taking his eyes off the view above them. “We had a lot of good times before we moved away and she met my stepdad. He’s a real piece of work, too.”
“Like mine?”
“Yeah, nasty temper and sick mind games, and all that. No fae magic though,” he jokes but the laugh is hollow. “Gaslighting us was his constant, but we could see the bruises on mom and knew we would be next if she broke.”
“We?” Felix asks softly.
It brings a small, wistful smile to Chris’s lips. “My siblings and I.” The smile fades quickly with the weight of the memories. “I’d hide them in my room when the shouting would start and wait until it was over.”
It’s a horrific image, Chris and his siblings cowering in the corner, unable to help their mom. He squeezes his hand. “What did you do?”
“I was scared. I started staying out a lot to avoid the worst of it. That’s how I got mixed up with people I thought to be my friends, but I think we were all just broken in some way. Looking to let out pent up emotions, you know. Vandalizing storefronts and knocking over trash cans, all that juvenile shit.
“And then one night we were chased by the cops and one of them tailed me to my house, and I remember thinking ‘I hope he catches my stepdad in the act.’ So I left the door open and the cop came to the door and my stepdad came out to talk to him and turned me in instead.”
“Really?”
Chris nods. “Mm-hm. I spent the night in jail, and my mom bailed me out in the morning when she found out.”
“So your stepdad wasn’t caught? Did you ever call the cops on him?” Chris shakes his head.
“I tried to, but it was like he had a sixth sense for that sort of thing. He’d always catch me before I could.”
“Where are they now? Your mom and siblings?” Felix asks, worry stuck in his throat. Some of the gloom seems to lift from Chris’s frame.
“My mom saved up in secret and we left in the night, never looking back. Started over in the city and then when we were old enough we took off for school or work or traveling.” He stops for a moment, becoming downcast again. “I hope they don’t realise I’m gone.”
Felix gives his hand another reassuring squeeze. “You’ll be home in no time, don’t worry,” he promises with conviction, not even entertaining the thought of failure this time. Fae are tricksters, but they’re bound by their promises. And if all else fails, he does have a plan B.
“Felix,” Chris suddenly speaks and turns to him, their faces close, close enough to see all the little imperfections on his skin and the stars reflected in his eyes. Not for the first time, Felix thinks him beautiful. “Promise me something?”
“Anything,” Felix breathes without hesitation.
“Once I’m back home, promise me,” he raises his other hand to extend his pinky finger at him. “Promise me that you’ll visit me even if I have no memory of you?”
Felix thinks he’s been here before, in another place and another time, he thinks the Chris of his past made him promise something too. With all the stars in his eyes and a grin brighter than the sun, with a heart made of gold that beats in tandem with his own, he’s sure he’s lived it before. He’d like to live it again.
Felix wraps his pinky around his, sealing their bond, not with a kiss, but with an “I promise.”
.｡.:+☆*:.｡.
Dawn arrives much too soon. The lights around his room turn on, mimicking the sun's slow rise with a warm glow lighting up the space. Felix buries his face in his pillow to block it out, reaching over Chris’s sleep-warmed skin for the remote on his nightstand, knocking over a bunch of things before he manages to find it and dim the lights to a more eye-friendly level. Bbokari squawks from his perch on the armchair, urging Felix to fill his food bowl as soon as possible. Greedy little thing.
He lets his hand drop, landing in the crook of Chris’s neck and shoulder. They’re face to face on his small single bed, curled up under the covers. He’s warm and comfortable, and despite the early hour, he feels refreshed and rejuvenated. He hasn’t felt like this in years. Maybe ever, honestly.
Softly, as to not wake him, he brushes Chris’s hair from his sleeping face behind his ear. His brows scrunch, evidently being much closer to wakefulness than Felix had anticipated. The hand around his waist stretches out, then tightens back around him in a warm embrace. Chris blinks his eyes open blearily, meeting Felix’s, and softening immediately.
“Hi,” he breathes in a sigh.
“Hi,” Felix whispers back, not ready to break the early morning peace, quite yet. He twirls a finger in the long strands at Chris’s nape, who sighs again and lets his eyes close. Felix, greedily, takes it as a sign to play with his hair more, scratching his scalp in relaxing patterns.
“What time is it?” Chris asks in a hushed tone, leaning into Felix’s ministrations like a dog enjoying being scratched behind the ears. His eyes flutter as he struggles to keep them open.
“Too early, go back to sleep.”
Another hand snakes beneath him to wrap around his waist, pulling him in until they’re chest to chest, nearly falling off the tiny bed. Felix holds onto Chris, tilting them back to stop them from tumbling off by accident.
“You sleep, too,” Chris urges softly, snuggling into his neck, lips right against Felix’s hummingbird pulse. He cards his hand through Chris’s hair once more.
“I’m not tired, it’s alright.” He’d much rather bask in the moment, enjoy it before he has to let it go, let Chris go.
He has pictured this exact moment a thousand times after finding him at the café months ago, when he’d realized what he had felt as a child but not had the words for yet. Late at night, he’d imagine what it’d be like to share a life, a bed, an apartment—preferably something bigger than this, although his place already feels so much larger with Chris in it. His life feels larger, like the final piece of a puzzle has revealed the big picture.
Felix would give anything to remain here forever, hold Chris close and protect him from all the bad and the hurt in the world. Hide him away and keep him all to himself, like the most precious piece of a dragon’s hoard. Make coffee with him every morning and walk the waterfront on the weekends. Kiss him soft, sweet, senseless. Until all he feels is the overwhelming love he’s refused to acknowledge, that now refuses to remain unnamed and locked away any longer. It bursts forth through the gate of Felix’s hardened heart and he’s unable—unwilling—to stop it..
It’s warm and sweet, like the man next to him, and Felix wonders if Chris would stay should he ask.
“You’re thinking too much,” Chris says, breaking him out of his thoughts. His grin is lopsided as he taps Felix’s forehead once. “Stop thinking.”
He leans in then. Felix’s breath catches in anticipation, his eyes closing as he waits for the pressure against his lips. But it doesn’t come. Instead, soft lips press against his forehead, lingering for a reverent moment.
Bbokari trills happily, singing a tune from a song Felix likes to play on repeat. Chris hums along to the tune as he leans back, laying his head back down on his pillow. Felix joins in, and their voices create a nice harmony, high and low.
He finishes with a long drawn out note and their eyes lock, making a shiver run across his skin and raising goosebumps in its wake. He can’t resist the pull, like a comet on a crash course. Chris’s eyes drop to his lips and Felix’s breath stutters.
Their noses brush tentatively, breathing the same air as the tension keeps climbing until Felix feels himself reach the precipice he cannot return from. He wants to take the plunge.
A loud series of clangs and clunks ring out in the pneumatic tubes running across his ceiling, as the mail canister makes its way through to the holder at the end of his bed. It lands with a final clank that rings out in the silence of the apartment. Felix groans into the sheets between them, angry that reality had to go and pop the perfect bubble they had been enveloped in.
The canister is in Hyunjin’s signature purple, so he pushes himself up, unwillingly untangling himself to reach for it without tearing the blankets fully off them and letting out all the warmth trapped beneath. Sitting back, he twists the top open, shaking the note out onto his palm.
Felix,
Mori arrived with the spare parts and a schematic. Thanks for the heads up, by the way, really kind of you. You also never told me he’s fae?? Could’ve warned a guy. Almost sold my fucking soul letting him in. They’re not like vampires, are they?
Anyway, fixing the warp will take some time but he seems confident it'll be done today. Get your ass here by midday so we can find out if it works or if it needs tweaks, and then we can get your not-boyfriend back to his own universe and you can get back to work on my ‘stupid commissions’.
With love,
Hyunjin
“What’s it say?”
Chris is wide awake now, as is Felix. His head is spinning and he thinks the medicine has worn off again; or it might be the whiplash of crashing back to reality from a moment that seemed too good to be true, anyway.
He wants to lie, to tell Chris the warp can’t be fixed, that they can’t do anything to get him home and he’ll keep him here forever instead, but. He’s not cruel. Will never be that cruel to the one he loves. He can still go to the café, like nothing has changed—like he hasn’t touched heaven and lost it—and maybe some small part of Chris will still remember his time here with Felix past the gaps in his memories.
It will be enough. It has to be enough.
Chris grabs his hand and presses a kiss on the back of it. “Good news or bad?”
He can’t lie. “Good. They’ll be done in a few hours.”
Chris hums and flips his hand over, pressing a kiss to his palm and resting his lips on his pulse. “So there’s no rush.”
“No,” Felix breathes as his lips move upwards, pressing kisses along his arm, on moles, and in the crook of his elbow.
Chris sits up as he pulls down the neck of Felix’s sleep shirt to drag his lips over his shoulder, and Felix instinctively bares his neck for him. Chris hums and latches onto his neck, sucking briefly before moving to another spot. Too light to leave marks but enough to light a fire in him.
Felix lets the canister roll off the bed, thudding onto the floor, in favor of wrapping his arms around Chris’s neck. He keens as Chris bites down on his earlobe, soothing it with a lick after, then dragging his nose across Felix’s cheek until he’s hovering over his lips again.
Felix tries to look at him but goes cross-eyed, instead dropping his gaze to Chris’s parted lips. He’s bracketed against the wall, feeling hot all over even without the blanket.
“We have all the time in the world.” The words are whispered against his lips and Felix nods feverishly, not brave enough to close the barely-there distance between them. Chris’s mouth quirks. “Isn’t that right?”
The stars in his eyes promise forever, and he’ll be a fool to not believe them.
“Yes.”
Fireworks burst behind his eyes when their lips finally touch, closing the remaining distance between them. Everything melts away until only the two of them remain. Felix kisses him back like he’s been starving his entire life—maybe he has, and he’s not letting it go now. Not ever.
Hands mapping out bodies as lips and tongues explore one another, they lose themselves in the sensations. There’s an insistent heat building in his core and he wants more, needs more, and Chris seems more than happy to give him whatever he wants.
He wants Chris on his back, so in one smooth move he pushes him back down on his bed, falling on top of him with his hands bracketing Chris’s stunned, beautiful face. Felix smirks, lowering himself to kiss him again. His aim is off as his head suddenly spins violently, tilting him over the edge.
“Felix!”
Everything spins. There are no stars on the ceiling and his breathing is shallow, but he’s still breathing. Not a panic attack then.
“Pills, quickly.” He points to where his satchel sits on the armchair. Chris leaps off the bed, Bbokari squawking and taking flight as Chris approaches his perch. He empties the contents of Felix’s satchel onto the seat, grabs the bottle and stops.
“Uh, problem.”
“What?” His stomach is turning, his skin buzzing, he doesn’t wanna puke in front of Chris if he can help it.
Chris shakes the pill bottle and there’s no rattle. Fuck. He’s run out finally. Couldn’t have chosen a better time himself.
“What do we do?” Chris asks helplessly, helping him sit up even though it makes the spinning worse.
It’s early, so they could go sit in the emergency room and hope Felix will be seen before his being is split open. Or he could try the doctor Dahyun had recommended in case of his emergencies. Her practice is on the other side of town, though, so they’ll have to be fast. He’s dreading the thought of moving already.
“Help me get my shoes and jacket on and I’ll get this sorted.”
Grabbing his bed for purchase and ignoring his shakiness as much as he can, he attempts getting to his feet but they're shaky and unstable. His condition is getting worse fast, and he doubts he can go much longer without his warp to stabilize him or the Weave is gonna start causing some real, irreversible damage.
Chris catches him when he almost tumbles to the floor again, helping him sit on the bed. “Nuh-uh, you’re not in any condition to go anywhere right now. Whatever it is, I can get it for you. Is there a pharmacy around here?”
“I know a place,” he says and retches. Fucking fuck. “Grab my shoes, I’ll guide us there.”
Dutifully, Chris helps him into his jacket and puts on his shoes, holding onto Felix the entire way out of the apartment complex. He follows his instructions with blind confidence, half-carrying Felix the first half to the train and fully carrying him the rest of the way when they get off. He doesn’t complain once. Felix is mortified regardless.
Visions swim before his eyes, he’s getting delirious. He hasn't gone this long without something to stabilize him since he was a snot-nosed kid Mori didn’t know what to do with. Every piece of his being hurts, being torn in different directions, and the droning in his ears is so loud that he doesn’t hear the greeting of the doctor once they get to their door, struggling to make sense of them.
–he alright?
Can you he–
He’s jostled as they’re rushed in, which causes him to cough. And cough, and cough, and he keeps coughing until his chest hurts. His hand comes away bloody from his mouth.
I don’t feel so good, is the last thought he has before everything goes dark.