Chapter Text
She has her answer.
After about thirty two minutes of thinking, she decided that it would be best to be with or at least tell the ones who enjoy her company. Sure, Susie helped, but she didn't understand.
A brute never would.
With Noelle's bright idea in her psychosis she walked back to the fridge, took the medication, and made her way to the bathroom.
Noelle had no experience in self harm or suicide methods, or who or how to say goodbye. She pondered texting but most would never answer till hours later, a note wouldn't be found and most likely discarded by her mother.
Maybe not.
She never knew with that woman.
She turned to the sink, pondering once more, and turned on the faucet. She grabbed one pill, filled her hands with water, and swallowed. Then again, and again, until the bottle emptied. The process was long, and terrible but she didn't know any other way.
It took 23 slow, painful, dry minutes- she almost threw up 3 or 4 times.
She felt her breathing slow, her head became light, and her eyes closed. She felt her body hit the floor, when she awoke she began vomiting and shaking violently. She turned towards the bath-shower, turned it on, and passed out on the floor again.
Her mother had arrived home shortly after, taking the time off of her work that was too soon finished. She went inside the house, not expecting the bath-shower to be running, Carol made her way into the bathroom, the door unlocked, water flooded out and her daughter was passed out on the floor.
Noelle was found foaming at the mouth, convulsing, her eyes wide open, and having thrown up everywhere, a mess. Carol screamed, and pulled her daughter's body up, she rushed as fast as her hooves could get her into the car and drove over the non-existent speed limits to the hospital.
By the time the two arrived in the hospital the nurse put the entire staff on Noelle's help, they set Noelle in the second patient room, not wanting to remind her of her loss when she woke up.
If she ever could.
The nurses and doctors hooked Noelle up to oxygen, heart monitors, and a lot more medications and fluids, far too much for the poor girl.
Even though monsters were mostly magic, human devices worked just fine. Most had learned that from the human, Kris.
Ever so often the monitors would spike or the oxygen would drop, sending Carol and all the doctors and nurses into a panic.
The mayor has always been guilty about things she couldn't control, it started with Dess- how she couldn't help her, and she's gone now. Possibly forever. Then came Rudy, he became sick and that was making carol guilty enough for not being able to do enough. Then he died, his dust was collected and is now a cold reminder on her shelf.
Now it's Noelle. Everyone Carol had ever loved had left her, toriel had drifted, asgore was.. asgore, and everyone else had feared her for being so powerful within their small town.
Angel- she hated this feeling.
The feeling of losing the only thing you have keeping you tethered.
The feeling of loving someone who left.
The feeling of grief.
Time passed and her poor daughter became more stable. Carol never left her side, afraid if she does it will be the last time she does.
More time passed and Carol was questioned about what time Noelle had overdosed, which was unknown by the both of them. She was asked what she overdosed on, which was the antidepressants.
Who knew the thing that was supposed to help you would kill?
Carol didn't.
As doctors rushed in and out, nurses refilled IV’s and Carol paced her daughter's bedside, the slow beeping of the machines and stay pace of breathing wracked her mind.
As time passed and time drew later and later call felt her eyes droop, the adrenaline of finding her daughter just now wearing off, the overworking, the pacing and stress was getting to her.
A few moments of sleep couldn't hurt?
Right?
As Carol let herself drift into sleep, she thought of before all this. Before Noelle overdosed. Before Rudy was such and died.
Before Dess disappeared.
Every Christmas.
Every holiday.
Every sleepless night caring for two children.
Every inch of growth that was turned to grief.
Every missing poster.
Every hospital trip.
Every missed sign.
Every. Last. Day.
The timeless memories drifted in her mind, swirling like water down a drain. The faces of everyone and everything fading.
Carol drifted into her sleep and stayed for the next few hours.
Unlike Noelle.
Noelle awoke, abrupt and in panic. ‘Where am I?’ she thought to herself, looking around as much as she could, her muscles and limbs sore from the tension caused by the overdose.
She saw her mom.
Why was her mom here? The one too busy with work to comfort her daughter? The one who the town feared? The one who reinforced rules after rules when going out?
Why?
After everything Noelle did? She caused trouble? She brought Susie over twice? She helped sneak her in? She misused her medicine?
Was she going to be punished?
Obviously.
‘get your head right noelle’ Noelle snapped out of her thoughts and looked at her mother, really looked at her. The hours of work under her eyes, the mess of her hair, the tears that glazed her face and fur, the woman once so pristine now crumbling under all her losses.
Noelle felt bad for the woman, Noelle felt bad for the mess she caused.
Seeing the woman so stressed whilst sleeping was more painful than the tears that pricked her dry eyes and tension between her joints- Why?
Why did Noelle feel bad?
Why did she feel bad for feeling bad?
Was it because she deserved it?
Was it because her mother deserved it?
…
None of them deserved it.
None of them realized that.
None of them did until the nurse walked in, carrying more IV bags.
“Oh! Oh! You're awake! Oh, this is great news! Give me one moment dear, I'll alert your doctor.” The nurse made her way to Noelle, and began to refill her IV. This was a nurse Noelle hadn't seen before, it wasn't like the one up front and Noelle was sure she'd never seen them in hometown either.
She's sure the floor number on her badge was different, and she's sure she was on the first floor. This was the first floor room wasn't it? The one next to her..
The one beside the first room.
Noelle pushed the thought from her mind, and decided she'd ask a question.
When she opened her mouth to ask what floor the nurse was from, the nurse quickly shushed her. “it's best to not speak dear, I'll wake your mother if you want.” The nurse sounded older than she looked, but then again there wasn't much Noelle could look at from her perspective.
Noelle shook her head, barely, she didn't want to wake the woman.
She just closed her eyes and went back to sleep until a doctor came into the room, and woke Noelle up. Noelle knew this doctor but was too dazed to search for the name.
The doctor asked a few questions and left the room.
When they came back they had medical instruments such as stethoscopes, shots and different medications.
To the least of Noelle surprise the medicine tasted horrible and the shots felt worse. Cold metal brushed her back and chest, and the cold didn't feel too off from herself.
Noelle looked at her mother, pondering when she would awake or what time it was.
The longer Noelle pondered the more she realized that as long as you could keep a secret in a small town, it never was kept for long.
The news was sure to have reached kris at least, half the town at most. It wasn't like Noelles reputation could be damaged more, but what did Kris think? Will Noelle ever be able to lock a door again? Close one?
Angel.
What's wrong with her?