Chapter Text
11
Jiang Cheng:
His stomach is in knots. Yanli Jie is nervously twirling a piece of hair around her finger, the song on the radio makes no sense because he doesn’t get why someone needs to sing about their heartbreak.
Its your heart, it’s broken, nothing to sing about.
Seriously, why?
He knows someone who likes listening to that kind of shit though.
Wuxian.
His brother.
That’s who.
He’s sick…or something.
He has to assume its illness, because Wuxian was walking. Looking like death, more stumbling, but mobile, not injured…
He remembers screaming at him to step back, not realizing that he wouldn’t be able to hear him through the screen, forgetting for a little while that this is a recording, that the time it happened has passed and all his wild gesticulating will not change that. He still closed his eyes, still grit his teeth, still squeezed the phone so tightly his knuckles turned white.
Jiang Cheng still trembles when he thinks about it.
First he gets a small clip. So out of the blue and he’s in the middle of a very nice game too. Then a few minutes later, a whole recording is downloading. The number it comes from is not on his contact list and when he tries to call back, a generated voice tells him that the number does not exist. The clip is very hard to get through.
The entire recording…is brutal.
He recalls wanting to throw up. Someone was running commentary in the background, laughing at Wuxian, pointing out his disorientation, mocking his fear, cheering him on when he stepped off the curb…
Without thinking, he sends the thing to his sister and she’s on the phone crying blue murder five minutes later. Yanli Jie and Zixuan live a little less an hour away from there. They were this close the whole time, and hadn’t known.
His boots are heavy on the peddle.
They’re almost there...
And they’re not going anywhere until the find him.
His grip on the steering wheel tightens. There’s some traffic in the City but it isn’t lunchtime yet, so it still flows freely.
Wuxian is here.
At Q City hospital.
Someone has seen him there.
In radiology.
With ICU staff.
Jiang Cheng’s stomach is still twisting with anxiety. He’s tried, but he can’t wrap his head around this. After all this time.
Three years…
Three whole years, and they’re finally onto something concrete. It’s not like they hadn’t looked.
They did.
After that day…
Jiang Cheng thinks back on it an wonders how everything fell to hell suddenly. Wuxian had been stressed for weeks.
It started the last day of the field trip. Their grade had won some raffle and gotten a weekend trip to the Mounds, an old burial site with beautiful rock formations and red pools and old foliage that was stunning by day and hideously frightening to look at, at night.
He’d gone missing for a couple hours on the day they were set to return, during a morning hike, the last one before they packed up and left camp.
Lan Wangji was with the group still, so the idiot must have been chasing a butterfly or some shit, because he is known to be distracted easily.
He’d done it a couple times already since they got there, stopping to take pictures of a rock that looked like a dumbbell (really?). Trying to climb a tree with a twisted trunk, while following the twists with his body (he slithered, ripped his jeans and needed first aid for the scratches on his neck and both arms). Some random flower that smelled nice (cost Jiang Cheng his bottle of eye drops), and ‘oh look, black pebbles!’ (could have been animal droppings, but he’s Wuxian).
Lan Wangji had been keeping a pretty good eye on him the whole time.
Mostly.
Well, when Lan Wangji stopped paying attention to the teacher’s spiel and noticed the lack of one noisy five year old aka Wei Wuxian, and then backtracking to reel him in. So Jiang Cheng hadn’t been too worried…until Lan Wangji reacted badly.
The hike had started after sunrise, and Jiang Cheng couldn’t remember at which point he’d seen him last. He’d gotten irritated with his yammering and Lan Wangji’s stupid stone-face somewhere around the hour mark and had ignored them in favor of his own friends afterwards.
They’d moved somewhere up front and Wuxian and Lan Wangji had fallen towards the back. The teacher called for a break and they’d stopped in a clearing to have water and snacks. He could still hear his brother laughing at something, the high, bright sound echoing through the mounds, a dozen other voices joining his.
Then they were on the move again and Lan Wangji had come up behind him to ask if he’d seen Wuxian. And no, he hadn’t, but he didn’t say that. He’d thrown him a disgusted look and walked a little faster to get away from him.
And then there was a call for a stop again, barely fifteen minutes later. Lan Wangji had panicked that Wuxian wasn’t anywhere to be found. Because of the terrain, they couldn’t get proper reception and they’d started splitting up in groups to call out for him. If he was close by and lost, he could follow the sound back. He’d even gone so far as to accuse Lan Wangji of arguing with him and setting him off…Wuxian was always weird about fighting with his ‘Lan Zhan.’
A couple hours later, just when the teacher had decided to call in to the start station and report him missing, they called the teacher’s emergency satellite phone to say that one of his students had pitched up looking a little worse for wear but fine.
They said he’d gotten lost and made it to them by accident. He looked a off…Filthy, knuckles and fingers torn up, clothes a mess, but Jiang Cheng just punched him on the arm for being so irresponsible.
Lan Wangji had fussed over him like he just found his toddler in the supermarket, the teacher had scolded him, more relieved to have found him than to face the school board for losing a student…but Wuxian looked more distracted than sorry.
He seemed shifty?
On edge?
Scared?
And he’d gone really quiet on the way back, fiddling with his phone, skittish, jumping at any sound, looking around and behind them every few seconds.
Jiang Cheng has no idea what happened to date, but Wuxian had been a wreck from that moment on until the cops brought him home that day. There was a huge argument at home about something ridiculous again. His parents were at it for hours, and then Wuxian comes back in a police vehicle.
There’s flashing lights and neighbors outside and then the cop walks him to the door and mom. Just. Lost it.
She was scary on a good day. That wasn’t a good day. Wuxian didn’t stand a chance trying to defend himself. He kept trying to answer her when she screamed at him, and he kept answering the wrong thing and she wouldn’t stop throwing whatever came in hand. It had happened so many times before, they knew the drill by then. Get him out of the house, get mom to calm down, dad goes along with it because the less she yells the better for all of them and Jie will wait for him to leave and call him once he’s safely away from mom…this time he couldn’t understand how it all went wrong so fast. Wuxian was saying things that just pissed her off even more.
“What did you do?”
“No…nothing, Madam Yu…”
“Did you not just arrive in a police vehicle?”
“I…I…did?”
“You’re asking me? Are you high? Stupid? Did you not just get off a police vehicle?”
“Yes. But…”
“With sirens?”
“Yes…But, M’…”
“What did he mean by keep an eye on this one?"
“He…I…It’s not what it sounded like.”
“Were you cuffed at any point?”
Wuxian frowns. “Cuffed?”
“Answer me.”
“No.”
“There were neighbors watching the show, you shameless piece of shit!”
“Mada…”
“What did they want?'
“They just asked a fe…”
“Did they talk to you outside the house?”J
"Just, please…List…”
“Yes or no you inbred! I don’t want to listen to your voice any more than I have to.”
“No. Yes.”
“The hell is wrong with you?”
“I…”
“You were escorted to the door by uniforms?”
“Yes.”
“Are you in trouble?”
“No.”
“Don’t lie to me dammit! You bring shame to this family. I told you. I told you all, didn’t I? That he will shame us one day?” Mom scoffs. “You all want to defend this delinquent? Bring our family to ruins?” She stabs at his chest. “You use my son, my daughter, my finances, our good name. And this is how you repay me for allowing you in? For giving you food, shelter and education?”
“I’m not lying. Madam Yu, please, I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? Like it helps? Like it changes things? Don’t lie.”
“You’re not listening to me!” Wuxian’s voice is pitched high, he sounds desperate. “I’m not lying. Yes you saw me with them but it’s not what you think. You’re twis…”
He doesn’t get to finish that sentence before mom is flinging her hand up to stop him. Her ring clips him on the chin when he tries to turn away, mouth already opening for another round of defense when she says, “I’ve had it with you. Enough is enough! You’re a liar, Wuxian. Just like your mother! A liar!” She turns to them, “I told you, that all he’d bring us is trouble! Tonight it’s me or him. Either I go or he goes. Fengmian?”
Dad doesn’t answer as usual, but he looks away, and the idiot just digs himself deeper.
“Madam Yu, Jie…please, you have to listen to me. I'm not in trouble. They only asked about the Ji…”
Moms hand goes flying again and it’s like a crack of thunder. Wuxian right cheek is flaming red but he doesn’t even react to it.
He looks at Jie pleadingly and says again, “There’s trouble, Zi…please…Jie, the Jins are…they’re …”
Jie’s hand flies to her mouth and she’s shaking her head ‘no’, because mom is about to go on a rampage and Wuxian will only stay quiet if Jie asks him to.
Mom shoves him out into the hallway before he can say anything else, but she doesn’t need to stop him anymore. Wuxian did see Jie, and he finally, thankfully, shuts up.
Now they just have to get him out of the house...
“You dare to insult my daughter’s future family? Madam Jin is my friend, how dare you!?”
Jiang Cheng gets pulled back by dad when he tries to stop her. No one has heard Jiang Cheng try to interject as yet, and he’s been calling out to both his mother and his brother. But no one ever does, except Wuxian, who will do something dumb before Jiang Cheng is heard so mom turns back to attack him instead.
His father was nothing under his mother’s thumb. Nothing more than another puppet, and Wuxian took charge, took it upon himself to look out for them, earning their mother’s wrath for all his efforts.
“I want you out of my sight and far from my family! You hear me? You’re a disease, tainting everything in your path.”
Her fingers close over Wuxian’s hair and she’s yanking at it and dropping him to his knees. Wuxian kneels before her, head jerked to one side, tears choking him but he doesn’t look at them anymore.
His face is puffy and discolored on one side, jaw clenched tightly together, but he looks…done?
At mom’s words, he just kind of gives up and lets her do as she wants.
“What are you trying to do, Wuxian?” She tugs hard, then harder still and Jiang Cheng flinches on his behalf. “Lying to the police about these good people? Yanli? You defend this pathetic excuse for a human being and call him your brother? When he’s trying to ruin your family? Your whole future?”
She pushes and pulls and shoves him down and Wuxian is almost prostrating, mum looming over him. “What will you gain, Wuxian? How much are they paying you to sell them false information? To ruin the Jins? Who’s next? Us?”
Jiang Cheng finally frees himself from his father, meet’s Jie’s eyes, and they know if they don’t get him out of here now, mom is never going to stop. Dad get’s mom’s arm, and it’s a fight for a bit before she releases Wuxian’s hair, long, dark strands still clumped in her hand, his pony tail skew and half undone.
She spits at him, still screaming insults and threatening death, yelling at him to go.
He stands, doesn’t look up.
Jiang Cheng gets in close, says, “Just go.” Quietly to him and Wuxian turns and starts to walk. Jiang Cheng grabs the back of his elbows and follows him to the door.
He does turn then, but Jiang Cheng slams the heavy piece of wood in his face before mom lunges at Wuxian again. He stands there with his back to oak, relieved that Wuxian is outside, away from mom and her vitriol. He has no clue why she does that to him, why she hates him so much when all his brother did was love.
Wuxian has always only been a good brother to him and Jie, a good son, if they only stopped to acknowledge him. And Jiang Cheng was a poor excuse as family in return, but he’d had to pretend for so long whenever mom was around so she would leave Wuxian alone, that it stuck with him sometimes even when she wasn’t.
Wuxian is best person to have on your side through anything, he’s loyal to a fault. But Mom never sees anything positive in him.
Even now, she’s still spewing insults at him. Yanli and him leave his parents in the lounge and escape to Wuxian’s room. She looks a little pale, stunned.
Tonight was the worst it had ever gotten. He checks from the window, where usually Wuxian will wave before walking off to wherever he goes when he’s booted out for the night.
He’s not there.
Something niggles at him…Wuxian…didn’t seem…He looked…like he’d given up. Something feels odd about the way he stopped defending himself. Just... clammed up, closed himself off.
He hopes they can cheer him up tomorrow. Jiang Cheng thinks it’s too exhausting to live in this house, with his mother.
She scares him…What scares him more is a sudden flash he gets of the blank look on Wuxian’s face, his dead, dull grey eyes and the utter exhaustion and in his posture, the shock? just before he slammed the door shut.
He shakes it off when Yanli tells him to pack him some stuff of Wuxian’s for tomorrow. Doesn’t look like mom’s going to cool off for a day or two. She’ll try and get him a room somewhere close by until mom decides to ignore him again.
He grabs Wuxian’s book bag and another empty one from the closet, fills the spare with everything he might need and on impulse, tosses in his cash from the box on his table. They try to call, but Wuxian’s phone is turned off. His charger is on the floor attached to the wall socket. Jiang Cheng hopes his phone isn’t dead.
There is no silence that night.
They fall asleep on Wuxian’s bed with their parents still arguing downstairs. In the morning, he leaves the extra things by the locker. In hindsight, he should have left a note too.
Wuxian is nowhere to be seen.
He hangs around for a few minutes, but the principal calls, and he figures it may be something his mom said to the man about Wuxian acting up again. He’s asked to wait, which he does, but an hour later, he’s still in the office area without having seen anyone as yet. He’s missing class, and so close to finals too.
Another twenty minutes pass before Yanli comes in, avoids eye contact, goes into the office and returns with a folder in hand, eyes red and swollen.
He wonders why she didn’t call with a heads up first. Something is not right. She should be in chef school now.
Unless…
For a moment he thinks the worst… But she sniffs and smiles sadly, asking him to go with her. He does, a million questions on his mind, none leave his lips. Mom is in the car and they know better than to speak when she’s like this.
He’s surprised when she drives them both to the station, hands Yanli an envelope and says to take care of him. Jiang Cheng is handed a ticket and a trolley full of bags. One look from his mother and he can’t ask why. Suddenly, he’s boarding a train moments before it takes off, old phone in his mother’s hand and then he’s on his way to school a few towns out, where he will have to stay until he graduates.
Yes, in the last semester of the last year of high school.
Yanli Jie cries the whole way, he cries too. Her phone is also shiny and new, and she tells him that mom cut Wuxian loose. He’s almost eighteen. She will not take him back, or allow them to contact him. She threatened to have Wuxian arrested if she finds out they went against her. And she will cut them off too afterwards.
He’s so angry he can’t even get the words out. He’s tempted to let her cut him off, but Wuxian…and he’s still officially a minor and Jie tells him so when he says it out loud.
“Wuxian will think the worst, Jie.”
“Mother knows this, that's why she went this route…she wouldn’t let me even tell him anything. He’s going to think we don’t want to have anything to do with him and it’s just what mom wanted.”
“Jie, what are we going to do? I can’t even call anyone at school to send him a message. He looks at the new phone in frustration and wants to toss it from the moving train. All his old accounts have been closed, and Wuxian wasn’t big on social media...
“A Cheng…. What he said last night...”
“I don’t think he was telling us the whole truth, Jie. He did come with the cops, but he wasn’t lying outright either. Why will the police ask him about your in laws? And why will he say anything to them in the first place? He knows mom and your future mother in law are like best friends.”
“He never lies, A Cheng. Not A Xian.”
“Then…?”
“Remember when we went to the see Zixuan a few weeks ago?”
“Yeah, Wuxian was AWOL the entire time. I had to deal with that damned cousin of his for hours by myself.”
“Yeah…that day, Zixuan got a note and left for a little while. We had brunch with his mother before he rejoined us.”
“Food was horrid.” Jiang Cheng remembers wondering if that was why Wuxian skipped brunch too because mom was pre occupied with other things that day and she didn’t even bother to ask after them.
Jie rolls her eyes. “Anyway, when Zixuan got back, he asked me if I loved him. If I’d still choose him if he had no money and no Jin name. If his family got dragged through the mud for whatever reason, if I’d still stay.”
“Jie…”
“I told him I would always choose him, no matter what. I plan to marry him, not his family. And he seemed relieved. He hugged me and cried. Then he told me that his father had been cheating for a long time, that he’d just found out he had a brother or two. Maybe some sisters…But I told him that he is not his father. And he said that no matter what happened now, what happened to the Jin’s, if we were together, he could face it.”
“Jin Guangshan has bastards? There’s more peacocks?”
Yanli Jie smiles wanly. “Yes.” Then she sighs. “I think A Xian was just trying to protect me. To protect our family, incase something is wrong or goes wrong. I think he knows something. The same thing that is bothering Zixuan.”
“Wuxian…Jie, do you think he’ll be alright? You think you can get Zixuan to contact Lan Xichen? I know he and Wuxian don’t get along, but…maybe Lan Xichen can ask Wangji if he’s oaky? He’ll go to him, won’t he? Wangji can tell him we didn’t leave him on purpose?”
“He was trying, A Cheng. The last few times I went to visit, Wuxian came along to drop me off before leaving to meet with friends, but he always took a few minutes to talk to Zixuan first. We’ll never know now.” She sighs. “I’ll try with Zixuan, ask him if he can do us that favor. Then we’ll find him and tell him ourselves…”
But Zixuan couldn’t get Xichen to pass the message. And Wuxian just dropped off radar. They’d been looking for the last three years.
Couldn’t say anything in front of their mother or she’d flip, but Wuxian is still their brother.
And he better not be dying!
Jiang Cheng would gladly resurrect his ass and kill him himself.
He wants to cuss and scream and cheer at the same time. Lan Freaking Wangji could have just…just told him that in the first place. But no, instead the stuck up Lan decides to leave him on read. And then stopped reading the messages even.
He could bet on the fact that he knew where Wuxian was all this time. They were like Siamese twins at school, sharing one brain cell…surely they would have been in contact since? He sees his sister shift in her seat for the tenth time and he rolls his eyes at Zixuan, who returns it in the rear view mirror.
He’s been busy on his phone the whole time texting or what not, but when he turns to Jie, he does it with his full attention. Jiang Cheng knows he loves her, will do anything for her, and that relieves one burden from his shoulders. His sister is a little more forgiving, she visits their mother on alternate holidays, and speaks to her every couple of months. Jiang Cheng has seen the woman twice in the last three years and even that was two times too many. He’d gladly let her cut him off once he finds his brother, because he’s no longer a child. He lives off campus, but his apartment is next door to his sister’s and fifteen minutes from his first class. Jiang Cheng works part time with his brother in law, and leaves all the allowance his mother gives him in the bank to accumulate. He wants nothing from her after she broke their family up.
He can take care of himself now and he will do as he sees fit.
“We’re almost there.” Zixuan rubs her shoulders from the back seat while Jiang Cheng indicates and turns left, following the GPS directions to the hospital.
“A Xian…” Yanli Jie whispers like a prayer. “I hope you’re safe. Please know you’re loved.”
She’s been saying the same thing every day and every night since they had to leave him behind. Jiang Cheng repeats after her, just like he always does.
Wei Ying:
He’s managed to drag himself to the edge of the bed and now he’s trapped on his stomach, no strength left to move another inch. He lets his head drop to the mattress to rest a while, but it falls slightly off the side.
Sweat drips onto the ground, and he swallows painfully, cheek squished on the mattress pushing his lips into a moue. Air hisses between his teeth, drying his tongue and already cracked lips further. He coughs and even that sounds more like a stuttering hiccup.
The IV has reached it’s limit for movement, the point in his arm twinging in warning, but he’ll tear it out if he needs to. The cannula is another story. He lost it when he rolled over, almost strangled himself with it before it fell away. The duvet is wrapped tightly over one leg and twisted across and under his waist making his journey ten times more difficult.
And why is breathing on his own still so hard?
He feels like a deflating balloon, like he’s run miles without a break, eyelids already drooping from exhaustion after his little stunt, but he needs…he needs…Lan Zhan.
Wei Ying had gotten up alone, and when he’d called for Lan Zhan, he hadn’t heard an answer. He remembers every small detail from earlier, every little thing that he’d been so carefully keeping tucked away had come tumbling out of his mouth.
He doesn’t know how much was heard, and how much made sense to Lan Zhan, but Wei Ying needs to explain. Before he loses his nerve, or his best friend…Lan Zhan needs to know why he’s in danger.
Wei Ying needs Lan Zhan to listen to him…
He closes his eyes, and sucks in whatever oxygen that’s generous enough to help his fluttering lungs, chokes on it, tries calling out again but his voice cannot carry. The slow spin is back now, an arm twitches and he forces it up to his cheek, tries to get it loose.
There’s a bracelet on this wrist…Four!
It takes him a few tries before he finds his nose, tilts his head twice before he gets the right angle, struggles to exert the right amount of pressure on the trigger until it vibrates.
Wei Ying lets his shaking muscles relax, and waits, gasping. It doesn’t take more than a few seconds for the door to open but his vision is already greying out. Hurried footsteps flitter across the tiles and a warm hand lands on his head, cupping it gently.
Wei Ying mumbles, “n Zh’n.” and hears the older man snort, but he’s already turning him around and taking his weight.
“Wei Ying…” It sounds like air and water and sunlight and Wei Ying collapses against Four in relief, already able to breathe a bit easier now that he’s not on his front, but more so because he can see Lan Zhan, finally.
The rumble of laughter behind him rocks Wei Ying’s whole body and he frowns, but he doesn’t look away from Lan Zhan. A whole range of emotions flicker across Lan Zhan’s face and Wei Ying is familiar with every single one of them.
He takes a hesitant step towards Wei Ying and leans over his chest to help Four get him back in his place when an astonished, “A Xian! What the hell is wrong with you?!” makes him jump. Four is still laughing while he arranges his pillows.
He’s hanging off Lan Zhan like a broken doll, chin digging into the bone on his shoulder and he can see Qing Jie looking like she’s about to murder someone.
He hopes it isn’t him…but he thinks it probably is.
Wei Ying tries to diffuse the situation without fatalities.
“M pois’n’d.” He says helpfully, and her mouth opens and closes soundlessly.
Lan Zhan lets him fall back against the pillows and Four tucks the cannula back into place, eyes crinkled at the corners, filled with mirth while turning up the knob on the tank.
Wei Ying’s head clears immediately.
“You’re n idiot, is what you are!” She scolds, stalking towards the bed, and Wei Ying wants to hide. He does, tucking his fists and face into Lan Zhan’s chest, and Lan Zhan lets him, elbows on the mattress holding his weight off Wei Ying as he cages him in with his whole body.
There’s a loud snort from his right, followed by a louder guffaw when he whispers Lan Zhan’s name again, and Wei Ying wonders if Four will ever shut up.
“Move!” She orders Lan Zhan, and oh man!, she’s mad. Both he and Lan Zhan say, “Jie!” At the same time Xichen Ge calls, “A Qing!”
“Don’t you start with me too, Xichen.” She says low and dangerous and he holds both hands up to appease her, but he’s got a smirk on his face and there’s relief in his eyes too. “I wouldn’t dare.”
Wei Ying is hot and uncomfortable in his own skin, and when Lan Zhan notes his fiery, short staccato breaths and the heat he’s radiating, he slowly pulls himself up and off, but stays between him and Qing Jie.
“Feeling better, A Xian?” Xichen asks, and Wei Ying hums without looking away from Qing Jie. She glares at him, and Wei Ying shrinks into himself, still flying high and low. He wants to make light of things, to bring some levity to this disastrous situation, but he also wants to hide away like a child and bawl his eyes out.
The way he behaved earlier makes him feel self conscious. He’s been crying a lot for the last few days, unable to blot out anything he’s feeling. Wei Ying finds himself going from one extreme to the next. One moment he feels like he’s getting better, and can maybe use his wit and think of a few funny lines to throw in. He feels like himself, like he has some modicum of control. The next instant something triggers him and he can’t stop the tightness in his chest, the negative thoughts flooding him, the memories, the fear and the anxiousness and the nightmares.
Everything swamps him at once, leaving him no time to gather himself, no energy to fight. He gets swallowed whole, squashed and spat out and exhausted from trying to separate all those pieces of himself.
Qing Jie takes him in, he’s probably projecting again, and her voice softens. “What were you thinking, huh?” She asks eventually, eyes scanning over whatever parts of him she can see.
Wei Ying feels properly chastised, embarrassed, ashamed, and he shuts his eyes. All he can do is mumble an apology and hope she accepts it. He’s so mixed up… Four finally calms down and crouches next to the bed so Wei Ying is forced to face him.
“Anything feel different?”
He knows Four doesn’t mean mentally, so he takes stock of himself and shakes his head and the older man nods along with him while simultaneously taking his temperature.
“Still a little high, but better than when I last checked. That’s good.” He smiles, tapping Lan Zhan to move a little. He checks the IV site, massages the vein and unhooks the line from the port. “Bag’s empty. We can start a new one if you need it later. We’ll just leave this here for the antibiotics, okay?”
Wei Ying looks at his hand, then the bag above, nods ‘yes’.
“Can you manage a drink.” He asks.
“Hm.” Wei Ying’s fingers are still gripping the front of Lan Zhan’s hoodie and he gingerly unclenches them, flexing his digits and testing his range of movement.
He’s surprised Qing Jie hasn’t come and whipped his ass yet. Lan Zhan reaches across Wei Ying for the glass on the side table. A drop of condensation lands the duvet when he moves to take a sip and he watches it spread, fascinated, until Lan Zhan taps the straw to his lips.
“Wei Ying?” He jams it between his teeth, sneaking a glance at Qing Jie, then Xichen Ge. He’s standing next to her now, and everyone is watching him, and Wei Ying feels like a bad test score. But then the thirst takes over and he pulls and swallows greedily, forgetting his audience. After a few gulps, the straw burbles and he stops before the air makes him cough everything out again.
“Easy.” Lan Zhan tells him. It takes a little time to catch his breath and keep the water where it belongs, but his throat is thankful and his mouth is finally unstuck.
“Th’nks.” Wei Ying tugs on the end of the duvet and fiddles with the damp spot. His mind drifts away for a few minutes until Four speaks.
He has to force himself to remember where he is, and he really feels like he has the attention span of a gold fish.
“Anywhere particular you were headed to? Need a ride?” It’s light, careful and allows Wei Ying to answer without feeling like he’s being scolded.
He huffs a small laugh and his eyes flicker to Lan Zhan. And Four goes, “Aah.” In understanding. The man grins, and Lan Zhan does too and Wei Ying knows he’s missing something there but he’s not going to ask.
Four turns to Qing Jie. “Doc? We ready for lunch yet?” She bobs her head, stares at him a while longer, swallows and then smiles. Instead of leaving though, she comes up to him and takes his hand, thumb settling over his wrist. He lets her satisfy her need to check on him without a fuss and when she’s done, she asks, “Will you try some soup?”
Wei Ying is stumped. He has no appetite and he’s not sure if he’s ready for it yet. His stomach still cramps up and everything inside of him feels inflamed. But water is safe…and it’s stayed. And soup will be like flavored water, right?
He thinks about it for much longer than he should, but eventually agrees, though he can’t promise he will actually eat it.
“Wangji?”
“Jie?”
“Please go with Four to the kitchen and make a tray for Wuxian. I want to speak with him for a moment.” Qing Jie gives Four a piercing stare, but he chuffs a sound, gives her a long suffering sigh and goes to stand with Xichen Ge.
Lan Zhan is reluctant to leave him alone with the angry doctor, but eventually, Wei Ying tells him to go, and Four and Xichen follow him out.
Alone with Qing Jie, Wei Ying is nervous. He’s not afraid of her, per say, but he really needs to speak to Lan Zhan. He feels unsettled without him close by, like something important is missing, like maybe his heart…it’s a scary, overwhelming feeling.
He knows he’s being extra clingy, but he can’t help himself. Lan Zhan is the only person he knows without doubt, without question, that he can let his guard down around. He’s never had to second guess where he stood with him before, and now he just wants to reinforce their understanding.
He doesn’t want Lan Zhan to think he didn’t tell him because he couldn’t trust him.
He does.
More than he trusts himself sometimes, but it is important to Wei Ying that he protects Lan Zhan. He has always only wanted to keep him safe. Lan Zhan can never be hurt because of him. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if that happened. If telling him the truth will keep him safe, he’ll tell him. Even if it costs him more than he has to give.
Even if Lan Zhan…even if he’s angry for hiding so much, even if he’s done…with him…as long as he’s safe. With all the interruptions though, he’s going to be too tired to say anything because he really can’t win against his own body right now.
If it decided to turn him into a sniveling, twitching, emotional wreck, make him cry and then swoon like a princess, there is little Wei Ying can do to stop it. His internal monologue seems to go on for a while, and he really needs to get a grip on that somehow, but Qing Jie doesn’t stop him until he realizes by himself that she’s still waiting on him.
“’M sor’y, Jie.”
“A Xian…” Qing Jie sighs, sits down next to him and takes one of his hands stilling his fingers that are unconsciously unraveling a loose thread.
“I’m not angry. Not at you. I was just worried…”
He opens his mouth to speak but she puts a finger over his lips and shushes him. “Don’t apologize to me again, please, Xian Xian. It’s not your fault you don’t feel well. You haven’t done anything wrong.”
His breath catches at the endearment and her smile is radiant when he looks up.
“What I do need though, is for you to tell me if you feel out of sorts, okay? Your fever went up earlier, and we don’t want it getting out of hand. I want you well, we all do. And the only way we can do that is if we can get ahead of anything that can set you back.”
She waits for him to take in her words. And Wei Ying does. He can read between the lines well enough, he’s not stupid, but he still can’t get over the fact that she is familiar to him somehow, and she is extra careful and nice to him and he hates that he doesn’t know why.
“Jie…’bout bef’re…” Wei Ying pauses, gets his thoughts together before he lets them out. “How much d’you know?”
“A lot more than you’d expect. Why? What’s eating at you, kiddo?”
“I know I h‘vent seen you b’fore now. But…you feel famil’r? You…you rem’nd me of…a boy.”
“That’s what set you off.” She says in understanding, eyes kind and knowing. “Da Ge is going to kill me…” She glances at the door and then decides something. “Xian Xian…”
“Tell me.” He’s impatient, because this could mean something. Could help him understand why he’s swamped with familiarity and maybe also why he keeps seeing that face in a small opening between the doors of that container…
“Earlier..when you started having those flashbacks…you mentioned a name. Then another…”
Wei Ying tries to unscramble his brain and looks for the words, but his head is aching. He knows the names, knows the faces that goes with them, would never forget them. She should just tell him which ones they are, and quickly.
His breath speeds up in anticipation and when she squeezes the hand she holds between hers, he doesn’t know whether to look at that or into her eyes.
“You said, ‘little radish’.”
“A Yuan…” Wei Ying knows this little boy, and his cousin was there too. A Ning. He had another name…a name he said before Wei Ying shortened it to make him feel comfortable, to get him to trust him…
Qing Jie nods slightly, her eyes are glassy with tears, small crystals forming at the corners. She puts one hand in her pocket and pulls out something he never thought he’d see again.
Its faded and worn, stained in some places, but he knows it well. Wei Ying is crying immediately, lips, whole body, trembling as she wraps it around his wrist next to the bracelet. He can’t stop staring at the blurry red ribbon, breath stuttering, a small choking sound follows when he remembers the moment. And whispers, ‘for luck.’
“For luck.” She says louder, crying now too, and everything clicks. Wen…Qionglin. Wen Yuan…Wens…They were Wens. Wen children…and they were going to be sold too.
Now he knows why she called them monsters…
“Oh G’d…” He breathes. “How…why…Heav’ns…are they OK. Jie…Ple’se.” He sobs, tries to sit. He can’t be lying down for this.
”You saved them, A Xian.” She helps steady him. “My Didi and my little cousin.”
“I’m so srry.’S’rry Jie.”
“Why A Xian?”
“’M Sorry.” She pulls him close, holds him as he shakes and cups the back of his neck, telling him over and over not to apologize. That he’d done wat no one had dared to do. That she is grateful. That he saved them.
But Wei Ying only knows that he made them wait. He wasn’t quick enough. Every day, it haunted him. Every night, he relived it in nightmares. That they were children. That he promised them something, and he couldn’t deliver it.
They must have been afraid, so uncertain. Wondering if he let them down, wondering if he abandoned them to their fate.
Wei Ying could never…
But they wouldn’t know that the whole time. Not when they were hurting and in fear and stuffed in a tiny space and left in the dark.
Left with nothing.
Nothing but the words of a strange kid who gave them a few energy bars, some warm water and false hope.
Every day they had to wait…he’d run so many conversations in his head about it.
Maybe they were thinking, 'he lied to us’, ‘he wouldn’t come’, ‘he’s like everyone else ‘, ‘he’s probably living his best life while we’re here suffering’.
He’d asked them to survive.
Be brave, be strong and survive.
They were.
They did.
He’s proud of every one of them.
But he could have done better. Could have tried harder. Worked faster. Made a bigger noise… Told the right people…He should have.
He tells her that and she inhales sharply. He tries to explain what happened, what he saw, what they did. Finding the right set of things to say is difficult. He keep getting stuck, repeating the same thing over again, forgetting to add one thing and saying something out of context.
The more tired he feels, the harder it is to gather his thoughts. They fall off the edges of his mind, split and fragment, but Qing Jie is listening, and asking and talking through it with him.
When he stops, needs more water and starts to slur a bit, she stops him. Wei Ying is confused when Qing Jie suddenly she pushes him away.
He thinks he’s messed up again. He keeps mumbling, but she’s shaking her head, palms cupping both his cheeks, to force his face up, to stare into his burning, wet eyes.
Her mouth is moving, and it takes Wei Ying a second to hear the words because he’s so scared.
Hears the words ‘family’,‘brother’, ‘cousin’. Her brother, her cousin…her family.
Oh God!
“A Ning…God, I tri’d. Was slow, but I tri’d, ‘m sorry.” He needs her to acknowledge it.
“Xian Xian. They are home. Safe. Alive.” A Hand brushes through his hair. “Growing. Healthy.” She smiles. “Happy.” Tears fall. “All because of you.”
Wei Ying stares, he hears, but it doesn’t sink all the way in.
“A Yuan sent this with me.” She glances at his wrist lying limp on his lap. “They know I’m here, are happy you’re feeling better.”
Wei Ying closes his eyes, overcome with emotion. He hiccups a sob, sniffs and coughs, and her forehead touches his, steady, firm.
She’s whispering still, “Thank you, thank you so much. I’ve wanted to say this for years. Didn’t want to scare you, or make it difficult. Da Ge is going to kill me…But you need to know, you did everything right. You did everything you had to, more even. Everything you could…A Xian, you’re a good person. Too good. You deserve the world. All the happiness. All the love. You’re an angel.”
“Jie…d’nt.”
“No more sorry, okay. I think its time we did something nice for you for a change, something to make you feel better. When you’re well enough, my Didi and cousin would like to see you. Whatever you said to them, it kept them alive. Kept them believing. You gave them hope, A Xian. They clung to life with that hope. You gave them that.”
He nods. It’s all he can do. He doesn’t quite understand why she said all she did. He did what anyone would have done. They shouldn’t have to put themselves in the crossfire now because of that. The game he played was dirty. It was his fault this was happening.
His fault that everyone was in danger.
He’s not worth this many lives.
Not even worth one.
“A Xian?” Her thumbs are wiping his tears away, his cheeks feel sensitive and his nose feels stuffed.
He sniffles.
“Don’t sell yourself short. You’re worth it.”
Wei Ying isn’t sure if he said all of that out loud or not. He’s weighted with exhaustion again, but he still needs to see Lan Zhan. He pouts, childishly. It’s too much being so serious and he can’t take the compliments…it makes him uneasy.
“Jie, my soup…”
Qing Jie laughs, seeing right through his ruse, but she lets him go and helps him back onto his pillow.
“Yeah, right, soup. I’ll get Wangji. If I don’t see you later, its because I’ll be dead.” She laughs, takes a step away. “Anything you need, you ask, ok. It’s not because I owe you, it’s because I want to. That’s what big sisters do.” Her wink is playful, but meaningful, and Wei Ying feels his heart settle into something warm, painful, happy and yearning, even a little hesitant at once.
“Jie? Don’t die, ple’se.” And Wei Ying means it in every way possible.
She grins, clucking her tongue and ruffling his hair. He gives her a small smile in return, trying to fit all the things he’s heard side by side with all the things he thinks.
His messed up brain doesn’t make it easy. And then he sees Lan Zhan, and his tilted axis slots itself back on its point and his whole world rights itself at again.
Mingjue:
Okay, its getting dangerous and a little strange right now. So, this just happened. He received an email from Jin Zixuan, asking for his help on a confidential matter.
The response he got when he confirmed that everything will be kept private is what confuses him. The man just told him that he’s on his way to Q City Hospital with his wife and her brother, after they saw some disturbing footage of Wuxian and went ballistic trying to get to him. They put said footage up on a forum and have received confirmation that he’s there.
All things Mingjue knows already.
Then he asks if there is any way that Mingjue can hold them off or warn Wuxian that they’re coming. He has no idea if the footage is real, if he’s really sick like they’ve been told, or that he’s even in the city, but if he is, if there is any truth to this, he needs Mingjue’s help. He attaches a picture of a younger Wuxian, incase Mingjue doesn’t know him, and pleads, yes, pleads with him to make it such that they don’t get to him until Wuxian says it’s ok. He tells him he knows he’s asking for a lot, is willing to pay him handsomely for it, cannot tell him all the details because this isn’t the place to do i6t, but he’s worried that someone could be following the Jiang siblings and could put Wuxian in danger.
Mingjue wonders if this too is a trap. What does Jin Zixuan know about Wuxian, or the danger he’s in and why.
He cannot reply as yet because he really doesn’t know what to say, but he will try and hold them off for a while. He asks his boys to keep an eye out for the Jiang’s arrival, and keep watch after.
If anyone is following behind them, he wants to know who it is and why. Mingjue wants these bastards giving chase. He wants them, wants those who are instructing them.
And he wants them all to pay.
Mingjue is prepared to have an all out war over it.
A Conversation:
“Up the bounty. Turn the city upside down if you have to. I want him.”
Boss is angry, the words are spoken harshly. Fingers fly on the keyboard. Adding amount, $100 000.
“Still dead or alive?”
“Yes. Make payment for the information too. $10 000 for a positive lead. “
“No holds barred?” Cheshire grin.
“None. I want him preferably alive since I would like the honors of his death. But I’ll take him either way.”
There’s a creak and the sound of a leather chair swiveling to a stop.
“I’ll make sure everyone knows.”
A notification comes through, payment made to acc no: ###
Ooh, there’s a bonus for being the bad guy on top what gets made on a daily. That Bvilgari watch looked nice in the online catalogue. It’ll make the perfect gift for someone special on Christmas.