Chapter Text
James opened the door their dormitory just a crack and then, hearing the voices inside, paused before opening it all the way.
“Hurry up!” Remus urged.
“Don’t touch it, you idiot. You’ll just get red marks on your pyjamas too.”
Judging the moment to be right, James swung the door open wide and grinned at his two friends. They were standing near Remus’s bed and Sirius was buttoning Remus’s pyjama shirt. They’d worked quickly. Remus also wore clean pyjama bottoms, but the incriminating red-marked trousers and shirt were still visible near their feet. Sirius hadn’t even begun to change his own clothes yet, but after the scene in the common room it must have seemed rather pointless.
At the opening of the door, Remus had balled his hands into fists and tried to hide them under his folded arms. Sirius had jumped back, trying to put a reasonable distance between their bodies.
“Looks like both of you had a busy night,” James commented as he crossed to his own bed and sat down looking at his friends. “Too bad both of your girlfriends marked you up so obviously.”
“I think it’s Tangere Manifest Potion,” Sirius said. “Remember when we tried to prank Snape with it third year?” He picked up Remus’s marked clothing and shoved it deep into the room’s laundry hamper.
“Looks like Snape did a better job of it than we did,” Remus said. “How long does this stuff last?” He sat on his own bed but was careful to keep his hands hidden from James
“It’ll be visible for twenty-four hours,” James said. “At least, that’s what I seem to remember.”
Sirius had begun to unbutton his shirt, but changed his mind and grabbed a towel instead. “I’m going to take a shower.”
“It doesn’t wash off,” James called after him. “I don’t know why either of you is embarrassed,” James remarked conversationally to Remus when they were alone. “You both obviously won the affections of some very—uh—amorous—girlfriends. Most blokes would be proud to have the proof all over themselves. Now your girlfriends, on the other hand, when everyone sees their red palms and puts two and two together, well—there’ll be no denying who they are. And that will be embarrassing,” James said with a smile, “being romantically paired with either of you two prats.”
“Oh god,” Remus moaned as he dropped his head in despair.
“What I don’t understand is how Snape found out who you two are dating to put the potion on their hands. I mean, I didn’t even know who you were seeing, although I did suspect you were seeing someone. Not fair keeping it a secret from me, you know. It would have been so much easier to put it on your hands and see where your hands have been.”
When he didn’t get a response, James decided to try a different tack. “May I borrow your History of Magic notes? I may have drifted off during class.”
“You were snoring.”
“I don’t snore. Hand me your notes, will you?”
Remus stared at James’s outstretched hand but didn’t move. James waited patiently, knowing that Remus didn’t dare hand him the notebook and was probably dying inside because he didn’t have a reason not to hand him the notebook.
“It didn’t wash off,” Sirius griped as he came back into the room. Now that he was wearing only a towel, the red marks were just as numerous and even more incriminating. Handprints just above the towel on either side of Sirius’s waist made James’s eyes open especially wide. The orientation of the handprints clearly indicated that Remus had held Sirius by the waist both while facing him and while behind him. James shuddered at the mental image that caused.
“Any handprints under that towel?” James asked with a grin—although he didn’t really want the answer.
Sirius gave him the “Don’t ask” glare and didn’t answer. However, he did drop the towel to pull on a pair of boxers for bed. James avoided looking directly, but even in his peripheral vision, he couldn’t help but notice that Sirius’s crotch seemed bathed in red dye. Sirius pulled on a t-shirt and sat down on James’s bed.
“Snape is so dead,” Sirius announced. “The only question is how. Any suggestions?”
“Interesting,” James remarked as he held his hand over one of the more distinct handprints on Sirius’s arm.
“What?” Sirius growled.
“Your girlfriend’s hands are about the size of mine. A bit large for a girl’s hands.”
Sirius was immediately off James’s bed and on his own. “It’s late. Maybe we should get to sleep.”
“Yeah, you’re probably tired. Judging by the evidence, I’d say you expended a lot of energy tonight,” James said with a smile. “Moony too. His clothes weren’t exactly pristine when he came back. Any red marks on your skin, Moony?”
“Not as much as on Padfoot,” Remus replied.
“It’s strange that you both had encounters with someone wearing Tangere Manifest Potion,” James said as he took off his glasses to undress for bed, “and that you both came back to the common room about the same time.”
When he put his glasses back on, Sirius and Remus were looking at each other with an unspoken, “Does he know?”
“Double dating?” James asked.
“Something like that,” Remus replied.
“Oh, so not both of you and two girls—maybe both of you and one girl? Kinky. I’ve underestimated you. Or, judging by the size of those handprints, maybe the girl was a bloke. But of course, that would be daft. I mean, if both of you were interested in doing it with a bloke, why not just do it with each other?”
James’s grin was so broad now that Remus said, “He knows.”
James burst out laughing.
—written November 2004