Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Natalie was already awake before her alarm clock went off. She had been tossing and turning most of the night, and when she did finally fall asleep, it wasn't for as long as she wished it was. Pushing herself up, Natalie rubbed the tiredness from her eyes with a sigh. "Fuckin' Travis," She murmured.

Getting up from her bed, Natalie wandered over to her wardrobe. While rummaging around for some clean clothes, her eyes lingered on the few photos she had propped up. Some of them were ones she never even remembered placing there, as they had just come with the room. Like the one of her smiling in front of a church with her parents. They didn't necessarily look happier, but they looked more alive. Like Natalie was the only thing they had to worry about.

Her eyes lingered on the photo for a few seconds before she switched her gaze to the next. It was all of the Yellowjackets standing together on the pitch. It was last year, after they won their conference here in New Jersey. It was their first time getting so far at the time, and it meant the world to all of them. But it meant even more to Natalie; it cracked the shell of self-hatred she kept tightly around her heart.

Squinting her eyes at the photo, Natalie chuckled at the sight of Travis. He was standing off to the side, the same way he stands now, with his hands in his pockets and an awkward look on his face. She couldn't help but find it just as charming as it was now. Natalie never noticed the boy before, not in a major way at least. She knew he existed, but that was the extent of her knowledge.

Now Natalie couldn't help but wonder what Travis first thought of her. She'd have to remember to ask him in first period today.

Finally, grabbing the clothes from her wardrobe, Natalie gently ran her thumb over the glass that kept the photo safe before heading off to the bathroom. If she were lucky, she'd be able to get in before her step-dad woke up.

Making a bowl of cereal, Natalie fished through the fridge for some milk. "Ma! Are we out of milk?" It was a rare morning when her mom was actually awake. And to top it all off, her step-dad had left for work already. Dealing with her mom was much easier than him.

"No, I bought some yesterday."

Finding the milk behind some boxes of leftovers, Natalie grinned. "There you are!" Twisting the cap and pouring the milk into her bowl, Natalie used her spoon to push the Honey Smacks down into the milk to wet them. She preferred Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but those were more expensive.

"Prom's today?"

"Yeah," Natalie spoke with a mouthful.

"How much is a ticket?"

Shit. Natalie hadn't considered the fact that it would cost money to actually attend prom. She had been too busy thinking about Travis and his stupidly kissable lips. "Uh—I dunno, I'll get the money."

Going back to eating her cereal, Natalie considered her various options to make some money. She could sell her remaining cigarettes, which would net her a good bit of money. But then she'd have to deal with the assholes that she always managed to attract. She could steal from her step-dad, the man was an asshole, but his job down at the car shop got him a generous amount of money.

The absolute last resort was asking somebody for the money. Natalie knew Lottie would cough the money up with zero hesitation; she could probably get it from Coach Scott as well if she asked nicely. But asking somebody for money was asking for help, and Natalie wasn't sure if she had ever learned that skill. She'd rather her step-dad catch her stealing and ship her off to boot camp before asking somebody to spot her.

Snapping out of her deep thought, Natalie looked down to scoop some more cereal up. But the sight of a hundred-dollar bill made her pause. Hearing the old springs of the couch creaking, Natalie's neck nearly broke with how quickly she looked up. She caught her mom sitting back down on the worn cushions.

Cautiously grabbing the bill like it was a wild animal, Natalie felt something unknown slip inside of her chest. It wasn't the same as when the older woman would push Natalie on the swings for hours, but it also wasn't when she'd miss the most important games of Natalie's career. It sat in a blurry area in between. It said so many things and nothing all at once. Natalie clutched the dollar tightly before stuffing it into her pocket.

"I'll be back later."

Her mom let out a quiet grunt and kept her eyes trained on the TV.

Natalie quickly got out of the trailer. She couldn't handle standing inside of it for a second longer. It was suffocating, but not like it had been for years. There was an undertone of affection that made the girl feel things she vowed not to feel after her father blew half of his skull off right in front of her.

She spent her entire walk to school trying not to think too hard about it all. It was just a simple bill; it didn't mean anything. And maybe that just made it hurt all the more.

"Travis seems real happy today." Somewhere along her way through the school, Natalie had bumped into Lottie. The girl decided that following the blonde would make for a much more interesting morning.

"Yeah? I wonder why."

Watching the other students pass by them, Lottie smirked over at Natalie. "Is it safe to assume that you finally made your move on him?"

"I'm glad that you think I'm the only thing that could make him so happy."

"I mean, you also seem happier. I'm just using the context clues here."

"Okay, yes, I told him."

"Took you long enough."

Coming out of the big group of students, Jackie and Shauna ended up joining them. "What are you guys talking about? Is it fl—Travis?" Natalie was proud that Jackie at least managed to correct herself.

"Yeah! Natalie finally asked him out." Lottie simpered.

"I saw him actually smiling for once at his locker."

"So we just act like I'm not right here now? Is that what we do?" Natalie glared up at the taller girl.

"Only when it's funny, Nat."

"You guys are totally so cute! Like I already know, Jeff and I are gonna win prom king and queen, but you guys would be my second choice."

"You're gonna vote for yourself?" Shauna raised a brow at Jackie.

As if their little crowd around Natalie's locker wasn't already bad enough, Taissa and Van appeared out of nowhere. "I knew you guys would be here! Are we having a conference about how Travis was smiling today? Like that has to be the first time I've seen that happen."

Everyone nodded in agreement, even the impassive Shauna shook her head. 

"Am—Am I just the topic of all our conversations now?"

Unsurprisingly, Jackie was the first one to begin steering the conversation into another direction. "We have to pre-game prom at my house, guys! My dad will be out at work at least until 5, and my mom is out with her girlfriends in town. We'll be able to get into their wine cabinet."

"Oh woah, Taylor's finally growing some balls?" 

Taissa smacked Van's shoulder and glared at the girl. "What Vanessa meant to say was, that's a great idea, Jackie. Are we heading to your place straight after school?"

"Yeah! Unless anybody has plans?"

"Nope"

"Nothing over here."

"You know I don't have any plans."

"None."

"Nah."

"Then it's settled! We'll head to my place right after school, drink a little, and then get ready for prom!" Natalie had to give it to Jackie. She was the captain of the Yellowjackets for a reason; she might've been pretty mediocre at soccer, but damn, could she get a plan together in just a few seconds.

The warning bell filled the hallway, alerting all the students that they had 2 more minutes to get to class unless they wanted to get marked tardy. "Shit! I gotta get to AP Gov, c'mon, Van," Taissa pulled the ginger along.

Jackie and Shauna left shortly after that; the former was fussing about Jeff while the latter just silently rolled her eyes and followed.

"Try not to get too lost in Travis's eyes after school, Nat," Lottie teased.

Raising her middle finger up and over her head, Natalie stuck it to Lottie as she waded through the students that still lingered in the hallway. The scowl on her face didn't match the warmth in her chest. Yeah, she kind of thought the Yellowjackets were annoying when she was the topic of conversation. But it was starting to feel like she was a teenage girl, a normal one. Not whatever she was before this week.

Sitting with Travis at their table, Natalie was ignoring Mrs. T's lecture in favor of admiring the boy's face. She was noticing more and more things about the boy now that she could stare without it being weird. His nose was slightly crooked, not by a noticeable amount. Just a slight curve that you'd only see after staring for too long.

Tilting his head away from the front of the classroom, Travis locked eyes with Natalie. His cheeks instantly flushed pink when he realized she was staring. "Wanna take a picture? It'll last longer," He murmured.

Rolling her eyes, Natalie curled her fingers in the imitation of a camera and raised them to Travis's face. "Uh huh, just stay still—little bit to the right."

Smiling despite his faux annoyance, Travis playfully smacked the girl's hands away. "The only person I'll let take photos of me is my mom, so don't even try it."

"Oh, trust me, I remember. You and your brother were pretty much the wallpaper of the house, if I recall correctly," Natalie remembered her visit to the Martinez house very pleasantly. Even if it was mostly for the fact that they got high and made out in the boys' room.

"That feels like it was forever ago now." 

"You saying you miss me at your place?" Natalie grinned.

"Well, considering the last time you came over, my parents almost killed me because of the smell, I'd say no."

"They noticed?"

"My mom did at least. I just told her that you were the only one smoking."

"So mama Martinez is gonna hate me the next time I come over?" Even as she joked about it, Natalie couldn't help but feel a little pang of worry at the thought. She wanted to make a good impression on Travis's parents—or his mom at least, his dad has been her coach for four years now.

"She already likes you, Nat. Smoking isn't gonna suddenly make her change her mind, at most she'll probably lecture you."

Natalie hated being lectured with a passion. There was a select number of people she'd let get away with lecturing her. Coach Scott, because his words always came from a place of genuine care. Coach Martinez, because his soccer advice was actually valuable. And finally, her teammates. Most of them were assholes most of the time, but she had spent four years with them.

But maybe she'd add Mrs. Martinez to the list. The woman seemed nice enough from her last visit; she was kind to Natalie when she was there. "Maybe I could come over later today? I have plans after school, but afterwards I could swing by or something." 

"Sure, my mom is gonna be taking a lot of photos though. I told her that I'm going to prom."

"Did you tell her about us?" 

"Yeah, but it was less me telling her and more her figuring it out. I had some of your lipstick on me when I got home."

Stifling her laugh with her hand, Natalie raised her brow at Travis. "Didn't clean it off?"

"I didn't even know they were there."

"Sure, you didn't just like having them on you?"

"You wouldn't think this was so funny if you were the one who got lectured about safe sex for an hour straight."

This time, Natalie couldn't hold in her giggles as she leaned against the table. "Oh my God—an hour?" She listened intently as Travis told her the whole story of what happened after he got home yesterday.

Natalie felt weird not immediately heading to the field after practice. She wasn't a Yellowjacket anymore; none of them were. In a few months, they'd all be scattered across the state doing their own thing instead of playing together every Saturday.

Something so integral to her life was simply over. She couldn't go back, couldn't play games anymore; it was done. Hell, her soccer career was probably done as well. Natalie wasn't like Mari; she had no plans to play in college.

"I'm just saying, have you guys never noticed how much she stares at Jackie?" Van's voice was slightly hushed as she leaned against the kitchen counter. 

Natalie perked up a bit as she eavesdropped on the conversation happening a few feet away.

"And? Shauna is probably just spacing out half the time," Taissa scoffed.

"I dunno, Tai. Van is kind of onto something." Lottie peeked over her shoulder subtly to look over at the two topics of their conversation. "Like that one sleepover? They were both up in Jackie's room when we woke up."

Natalie knew exactly what sleepover Lottie was talking about. It was last year, after a particularly rough game. The other team had played very physically; everybody might've been sore, but they all still agreed to the idea of a slumber party presented by Jackie. Like most times they were at the captain's house, they had all gotten drunk off their asses with wine that cost more than most of their lives. Besides Lottie.

She didn't remember when exactly, but at some point during the night, she woke up to take a piss. While she was stumbling around the house for one of the bathrooms, she heard whispers coming from the kitchen. In her still tipsy and curious state, Natalie peeked her head inside to see what was going on. She saw Jackie and Shauna having a rather heated argument right there against the counter.

Natalie didn't say anything to anybody. Why would she? It wasn't anyone's business besides theirs. "Who cares? It has nothing to do with us," She finally decided to join the conversation.

"It has everything to do with us, Nat! They're our friends."

"So that means we need to get involved in their lives?"

Taissa leaned against the counter to give Van a smug look. "I'm glad somebody is being smart here."

Van groaned and let her forehead gently smack the counter. "You guys are some of the most boring people I've ever met... you're telling me that neither of you is the least bit curious what their deal is?"

It did pique Natalie's interest slightly; she always wondered what exactly was going on between the two best friends. But again, it didn't even come close to being her business. And she wasn't particularly close with either Jackie or Shauna to ask.

"Nobody said we weren't curious; we just happen to respect our teammate's privacy a bit more than you." Natalie was thankful that Taissa had answered way better than she ever could. Words were never her strong suit.

Looking over to Lottie for help, Van visibly deflated against the counter when the other girl just shrugged her shoulders. "Guess we'll just never know what their deal is! Hope you guys are happy with holding onto this mystery forever."

Everybody had mysteries and secrets that were probably better off hidden. Jackie and Shauna weren't any different. Hell, there were a few things Natalie would fight to take to the grave. Some things were just left better unsaid. But what would she know? She just started turning her life around on a random Monday afternoon after actually meeting the son of her Coach.

Taking a small sip from her glass, Natalie hid her grin behind it. They had all opted to play a few rounds of truth or dare before splitting up to all get ready for prom. Mari was in the middle of asking Laura Lee to say fuck.

"You literally chose dare, dude!"

"Yes! But you're not allowed to make me do something so heinous!" You'd think Mari had just asked her to kill her family with how adamantly Laura Lee was shaking her head.

Snorting behind her hand, Natalie glanced around the room to make sure everyone else was finding this just as funny as she was. And thankfully, they were. A drunk Jackie was stifling her giggles into Shauna's shoulder as the girl had a small smile of her own.

Van wasn't hiding anything as she draped herself across Taissa's lap. Her cheeks were a furious red from how hard she was laughing.

And Lottie was doing her best to keep a straight face, but the edges of her lip continued to jump up and down with every new word that came out of Laura Lee's mouth. Speaking of the devout blonde, she was still trying to convince Mari that her dare was too far.

"Nope! I can't do it, that's just wrong."

Throwing her head back in annoyance, Mari eventually just gave up on her endeavors. The other girl wouldn't budge, and she was starting to get annoyed. "Fine! Nat, truth or dare."

Blinking a few times from how sudden it was, Natalie regained her bearings before answering. "Uh—truth, I guess?"

"I swear you guys are the most boring people I call friends," Mari mumbled.

"That's what I said, Mar!" Van called out from Taissa's lap.

Mari appeared to be in deep thought as her finger traced the edge of her glass a few times. "Let's see... okay! Is it true that you and Travis are dating?"

About half the room groaned at Mari's question. Natalie nearly did as well. She thought it was common knowledge by now that she and Travis were an item, granted, it literally happened yesterday. And Mari wasn't there this morning for the live Natalie interrogation session. So it actually made sense that she was clueless.

"Yeah, we're dating."

"Y'know, I heard he can suck his own dick."

Feeling a vein pop in her forehead, Natalie took a sip of her drink and hoped the cool liquid would calm her down. "That's just a bullshit rumor. It's stupid." 

"So he can't?"

"Well, he has Natalie for that now."

Before the girl could snap back at Mari and Tai, Van sensed the tension as it began to form. "Alright! So, how about a new rule: no more stupid questions. Sound good to everybody?!"

Shooting the ginger an appreciative look, Natalie flopped back into the cushion of the couch and let it swallow her a little. She was reminded at every hangout that she was the furthest thing from a socialite. And that most of her teammates were annoying.

Remembering that it was her turn, Natalie scanned the small circle they had formed in the living room. "Jackie! Truth or dare?"

In the middle of brushing her hair, Jackie scoffed with a grin. "Dare, obviously."

This was a big reason Natalie opted out of Truth or Dare most of the time; she had no clue what the hell made for an entertaining dare. Standing on the counter and dancing felt like too much, and asking the girl to call Jeff to prank him felt like too little. She had missed out on too much of the childhood experience to know what the middle ground was.

So she settled for the safer option. "Uh—I dare you to call Jeff and pretend to break up with him."

And apparently, that was the right option if the way Jackie gasped with excitement was any sort of confirmation. The only one who had any protest was Shauna, who looked uncomfortable as Jackie made her way towards the house phone. "You guys just broke up last week, Jax. Is this really a good idea?"

"Oh, please! It's a joke, and Jeff couldn't stay mad at me even if he tried."

Natalie believed it; the couple had been the perfect definition of a high school relationship. They'd have a stupid fight, breakup, and then get back together the next day at school as if nothing happened. Jeff seemed like a complete tool most of the time, not that she had anything against the boy. He actually seemed pretty nice from the few times they interacted.

While her brain was on the topic of relationships, Natalie felt her train of thought shift to Travis. Which seemed to be the train she was on most of the time nowadays. This time, it was about how much she missed him, even if they had seen each other less than 4 hours ago. But the fluttering in her chest wasn't just from missing the boy; there was a mix of nervousness in there as well.

Natalie rarely had dinner alone most of the time, but now she was going to have it with her boyfriend's parents. One of whom was her coach for 4 years. This meant everything and nothing at the same time. On one hand, it was the first normal teenage experience she was having in years. On the other hand, it was really just dinner with her boyfriend's family.

Taking a sip of her wine, Natalie took a quiet breath to calm down. She'd be fine; Travis would be right there with her as well. She was sure that the boy was no doubt nervous as well. As long as they were nervous together, she could handle it. Although she was still adjusting to leaning on somebody else.

Coming back to reality when a loud chorus of laughs filled the room, Natalie watched as Jackie hung up the phone smugly. "Unlike some of us, I know how to do my dares."

Laura Lee obliviously kept smiling.

Crossing her arms as she stood, Jackie grinned down at Shauna. "Shipman! Truth or Dare?"

Shauna, much like Natalie, wanted nothing to do with the game. But not because she was unfamiliar, as Jackie's bestfriend she had to know about every possible game that could be played at hangouts. It was more like she really just didn't want to participate. "Truth, I guess."

Tapping her chin with her finger, Jackie went deep into thought as she tried to formulate the perfect question for Shauna. "Mm... Is it true that you and Randy Walsh hooked up at that party last week?"

Nearly spitting out her wine, Shauna had to blink a few times to try to wrap her head around what Jackie had just said. "Did I—what?! I barely even saw Randy that night!"

Natalie wasn't even sure what to feel right now. Did she see Shauna as the hook-up type? Not at all, and did she see the girl hooking up with Randy Fucking Walsh? Definitely not. But they were all fucked up that night, especially Nat. She was off a whole tab of acid and whatever shitty beer was in the keg, so her recollection of the night probably wasn't the best.

"Oh yeah? You literally disappeared for a whole hour. An hour. I know what happens between two people in an hour." Jackie seemed more hurt than she should've been. Like the idea of Shauna losing her virginity without telling her it was a crime.

"I was probably off puking somewhere! We all drank too much that night." If Shauna was lying, she had a pretty damn good alibi. 

"An hour! I don't get why you can't just tell me what happened between you two."

"Nothing happened!"

Glaring down at Shauna, Jackie's fingers dug into her arms. "When did you stop wanting me to be your best friend? We used to tell each other everything!" The hurt in the girl's voice was raw, something Natalie had a lot of experience with.

Understanding that this fight wasn't any of their business, Natalie was the first person to retreat to the kitchen with the excuse of 'refills'. Although it wasn't a complete lie, the wine was pretty damn good. Better than the stuff she got from the corner store.

Hiding out in the kitchen, Natalie leaned against the counter as she swirled her cup around and around. Everyone who wasn't Jackie and Shauna was also seeking shelter in the safety of the kitchen.

"Who knew they could go nuclear so quickly?" 

"I'm telling you guys, this is exactly why we need to do some detective work on them." 

"God—Van, give it a rest. They clearly have a lot going on, too much."

Natalie was finding herself agreeing with Taissa a lot more than usual today. "Yeah, and us trying to pick them apart isn't gonna help at all."

"Do you guys think they're gay?" Mari asked curiously.

"Jackie? The girl who has Jeff hanging off her shoulder almost 24/7?"

Mari shrugged and kept sipping from her glass. "Just saying, Shauna seems gay."

Snorting over the rim of her cup, Natalie finished off the small amount of wine she had left before setting the glass down. "I'm leaving you guys to argue about the gayness of them. I have to go get ready."

"Prom's in like 2 hours, dude."

"Well, unlike you, Mar. I have a hot date waiting on me." Natalie didn't like disclosing her life like that to the team, but today was special. As corny as it was in her head, they were like her incredibly dysfunctional version of a family. Even though her real family was already dysfunctional.

Saying her goodbyes, Natalie briskly walked through the living room to get to the front door. From the glance she took, it seemed like Jackie and Shauna turned their argument into harsh whispers. She offered them a small wave before practically throwing herself through the door.

They'd have their shit sorted out before prom, hopefully.

Sitting at her desk, Natalie kept twisting and turning her face in the mirror. She was the furthest thing from a perfectionist; most of the time, her makeup was half-assed. But right now she was taking her time and inspecting every little detail.

When she finally deemed her work good enough, Natalie stood up and flung open her wardrobe. She had two dresses hanging around, collecting dust. One was from when they had to attend a fancy dinner for being the regional champions; her only other dress was when she was a kid. It would probably rip apart if she tried putting it on now.

Going with her only option, Natalie grabbed the leopard print dress from its hanger and took a few seconds to admire it. She still remembered buying it the night before. Dresses were never her thing, but not purposely. She did want to dress up like her classmates when she was back in middle school, but her parents made it clear that wouldn't be happening.

The only reason she had that other dress was that she needed to wear her "Sunday Best" for when she got baptized. Natalie didn't really care for the religious aspect of it. Even as a kid, she never understood how some random guy knew every little thing she did. Was she a sinner for stealing things from the gas station when there was no dinner on the table? A sinner for wishing that her dad wouldn't wake back up after a rough night at work?

Just the thought of the man made her body stiffen. The nights she spent cowering under her covers, praying to God that he'd come and do something about the man who took his anger out on her. She promised never to curse again, promised to really believe in him this time.

But no miracles ever happened, nothing to comfort the little girl who clutched her blanket tighter from the smallest creak in the floorboards.

Feeling something slide down her cheek, Natalie sniffled and brought a shaky hand up to her face. She was surprised to feel the wetness on her hand. "Fuck... M'gonna ruin my makeup," She murmured.

Wiping the rest of her unshed tears with the back of her hand, Natalie cleared her throat and shut the drawer. 

Shedding her school clothes, Natalie pulled the dress down and over her head. Adjusting the straps so they covered her bra straps, the girl did a little twirl in front of her mirror. Not that she'd ever admit it to anybody. 

Satisfied with how it fit her, Natalie leaned down to start re-lacing her boots. While she did have a pair of heels, she wasn't willing to get that girly for prom. Her badass boots were pretty much a part of her now, with how she refused to take them off for most of the time. She'd play soccer with them if she could, that's how dedicated she was.

Standing back up, Natalie flicked the light to her room off and shut the door behind herself as she left. Thankfully, her step-dad was still at work, meaning that she wouldn't get harassed about leaving the house.

Hesitating by the front door, Natalie peeked over her shoulder to look at her mom. The woman was sitting on the couch, which she had been doing for years now. Nothing was really different; she still didn't care about Natalie, still did nothing to stop her step-dad from treating her like shit most of the time.

But she gave her the money for prom, that had to mean something, right? That deep down in the enigma that was her mother, there was still some small part of her that cared for Natalie. And God damn it, the little kid inside of her still wanted her mom.

"I'm going to have dinner with my boyfriend."

"Mm." The nonchalant hum from her mother hurt Natalie even if she was expecting it. One little action didn't mean anything after all. The girl bit down on her jaw and wrapped her hand around the doorknob. She didn't know what she thought would happen.

"Natalie," Vera's voice was so soft that Natalie had to pause for a few seconds to make sure she heard it correctly. 

"Yeah?"

"Make sure he's good."

Chuckling, Natalie couldn't help the small smile from taking over her face. "Oh, he is. The best" And it was true, Travis was the best thing to happen to her in who knows how long. Twisting the knob to open the door, Natalie thought about throwing in a 'love you!' Over her shoulder. But ultimately decided against it. A sentence was all she needed for now.

The walk to Travis's house was a calm one. Natalie considered bringing her Walkman with her so she could blast her music the entire time, but then she'd have to awkwardly hold it when she was done. Curse her dress for not having any pockets.

Lingering outside the Martinez residence, Natalie fiddled with her hands as she remembered the last time she was here. It might've been hazy, but she remembered watching Travis walk up the very steps in front of her. "Okay, all I gotta do is walk up there and knock."

Just as she was about to take the first step, Natalie cleared her throat and did her best to flatten her dress. It wasn't riding up her thighs, but it felt like it was. "C'mon, you stupid piece of fabric." She grunted.

Fighting with her dress for a few more minutes, Natalie noticed one of the blinds move from a window above her. From the looks of it, it was probably Javi peering down at her. It could've been any of the Martinezes, actually, any one of them would have been just as embarrassing. 'Oh, hello! I'm just standing in front of your house awkwardly, I'm dating your son by the way.'

Deciding that she had embarrassed herself enough, Natalie slowly ascended the steps. So little time had passed since she was here on Tuesday, but it still felt like a lifetime ago. Although she was much less nervous last time around.

Tapping her knuckles against the wood of the door, the girl waited patiently for an answer. She was praying that Travis was the one who'd open the door, that'd make this whole thing run a lot smoother. Or Javi, that was her second choice. Mrs. Martinez and Mr. Martinez were both tied for last place. 

Crossing her arms and leaning her weight on one foot, Natalie couldn't help but grin when the door opened up. "Was starting to think you were gonna make me wait, Trav."

"Javi told me that you were down there 'struggling' so I figured I'd swoop in and save you." The boy chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. It was different than usual, it was parted to the side. 

"So you're my knight in shining armor, huh?" She teased.

Wrapping his arms around Natalie's waist, Travis shrugged as he held her. "I dunno, am I?"

"I'd say you're starting to fit the bill, handsome."

Tugging Travis down into a kiss, Natalie's hands rested on his biceps as they made out on his front porch. "Missed you," She mumbled between pecks.

"It's been like—a couple of hours since we saw each other."

"So? Is it illegal for a gal to miss her man?"

Before Travis could reply, their sweet moment was interrupted by a voice coming from deeper within the house. "Travis! Who is it?" His mom yelled out.

"Ugh... It's Natalie!"

"Oh! Well, bring your little girlfriend inside so we can take photos!"

Wiggling her eyebrows at Travis, Natalie slowly peeled herself off his chest. "You heard the lady, bring your 'little girlfriend' inside."

"You're so annoying," He mumbled under his breath.

Shutting the door behind them as they stepped inside, Travis led the way to the kitchen. While his mother was manning the stove like a five-star chef, Javi occasionally helped the woman by grabbing some ingredients. Turning around, Maria held her arms out to Natalie. "You look pretty, sweetie."

Awkwardly stepping forward, Natalie let the older woman wrap her up in a hug as her arms hung limp by her sides. "Uh, thanks. You too"

Letting the girl go, Maria went back to handling the stove. "I'll get the camera as soon as I'm done here, then we'll take photos." 

"Alright, we're just gonna be upstairs in my room."

Before the two teens could turn towards the stairs, Maria gave Travis a pointed look. "Remember what we talked about yesterday?"

"Oh my God—okay, ma!"

Ushering Natalie up the stairs, Travis practically pushed the girl into his bedroom when his mom started mouthing off about not wanting grandchildren yet. 

Slamming the door behind him, Travis collapsed against it slightly as he sighed. "I swear she does it on purpose sometimes."

Staring at the boy with amusement, Natalie grinned as she plopped down on the edge of his bed. "So no grandkids, got it. I'll keep that in the back of my mind."

Pushing off his door with a groan, Travis slowly made his way over to her. "You both suck," He grumbled.

Reaching out to grab his arm, Natalie pulled him down slightly so their faces were just inches apart. "Maybe if you ask nicely, Trav."

He scrunched his face up in faux disgust. "That's gross."

Rolling her eyes, Natalie kissed the tip of the boy's nose before pushing him away. "You're gross, dork."

Letting himself fall next to Natalie, Travis sank slightly into his mattress. "I still haven't told my dad, and I don't think I want to either."

Leaning back to rest her head against his arm, Nat toyed with the buttons of his suit. "We don't have to, Travis." Her fingers were gentle as they ran over the nice fabric of his suit. She could understand his reasoning, even if he didn't say it. If Mr. Martinez was a scary coach, she could only imagine what kind of father he was.

Natalie couldn't help but relate to Travis; they were more similar than they thought. And maybe that's a part of the reason she was so drawn to him. "I mean, we could just lie and say we're friends? 

"Do friends usually make out with each other?"

"I said lie, dude."

Looking up at the ceiling, Travis curled his arm to bring Natalie closer to his chest. "I dunno, Nat. On one hand, I think he'll get all pissy that I'm dating one of his players. But on the other hand, maybe he'd finally stop being such an asshole all the time?"

"It doesn't matter what he thinks, just what we feel."

Travis wanted to just chuckle and say something about the girl being a philosopher, but the way she was looking into his eyes erased any thoughts about ruining the moment. They weren't intense, but they were staring right into his soul. It both scared him and made his love deepen. He wasn't used to being so seen. 

Brushing some hair from her face, the boy leaned down to plant a soft kiss on her lips. It might not have had the hunger the two of them usually carry, but it held everything they didn't say. All the emotions they both felt for one another.

Gently yanking Travis's short hair, Natalie maneuvered them around so she was on her back beneath him. They hadn't been in a position this intimate since she first came over, but neither of them was high this time. Nothing was keeping them from being wholly themselves.

"You taste really good." He whispered.

"You taste better."

Using his tie as leverage, Natalie pulled Travis right back down into another kiss. She had to admit that over the course of a few days, the boy had managed to get much better with his technique. But even with the small amount of experience he now has under his belt, she still could turn his brain to mush just by existing. 

Tilting her head into the kiss, Natalie was pleasantly surprised when he added tongue first. He was getting bolder, and she loved it. The vibrations from her groans traveled through Travis's lips and straight to his head to make him shiver in pleasure.

The whimper that left Travis's mouth when Natalie added her own tongue to the mix made the girl dig her fingers deeper into his tie. She hadn't heard that noise before, but she already wanted to hear it again. 

Feeling something hot and filthy forming in her stomach, Natalie couldn't stand the heat as she bucked up and against Travis's waist. The friction from his dress pants made the girl throw her head back in bliss. "Fuck, Travis." She grunted.

Shakily holding himself above Natalie, Travis used the momentary pause in her intimacy as a breather. "You okay?" 

Collecting herself, Natalie smirked up at him. "We were just humping each other like dogs a few seconds ago."

Choking on his spit from how vulgarly the girl had described it, Travis had to look off at one of his band posters to try to calm down. "Did you have to say it like that?"

"Just calling it how it is."

Slowly turning back to face Natalie, Travis felt his breath hitch slightly at the sight of her. Her pale cheeks were flushed a soft shade of pink. Her lips were just barely parted, enough to let him know that she was just as affected as he was. But even with how disheveled she looked, she was still the prettiest girl he had ever seen.

"You look really pretty, Natalie."

If she wasn't blushing before, she definitely was now. Travis's soft compliment had fueled the growing fire in her stomach just as much as his kisses had, and that's what she loved about the boy. "You don't look too bad yourself, Travis."

Well, now they were both blushing messes. 

Before either teen could say anything else, a sequence of knocks made them jolt from their positions on the bed. "Dinner is done, you two! Come down so we can take photos!"

"Okay! We'll be down in a second!"

Travis ran his hand through his hair in a poor attempt to fix it. "How do I look?"

"Like you were just making out with me."

"And whose fault is that?"

Shrugging her shoulders, Natalie got to her feet and licked the excitement off her lips. "Yours for being so good looking"

"Hilarious"

"Nobody said I was trying to be funny."

Natalie wore a nervous but giddy smile on her face as Maria snapped dozens of photos of her and Travis. She was nervous because photos had never been her sort of thing; sure, she took a few for graduation and for soccer. But those were mandatory. Something she couldn't miss even if she wanted to.

But these? These photos were warm and made her heart stutter every time she heard the snap of the camera. Every new photo just meant more and more evidence of her and Travis's relationship, and that was the part that made her giddy. 

"Travis! Hold her waist like you mean it!" Maria barked.

"I am!"

Travis really was trying to hold Natalie like he meant it. But it was hard when they weren't in the privacy of his bedroom. He wasn't ashamed of Natalie, not even close. It was just embarrassing for the boy to show any emotions to his family; he preferred it when they only knew him as 'Travis'. Not Natalie's Travis.

"Ugh, this'll just have to do," Maria grumbled. Taking only a few more photos, the woman began sorting through them all on her camera. "Oh, these are all just so cute! I'll be sure to get these printed and framed while you guys are out."

Letting Natalie slip out from under his arm to check out their photos, Travis craned his neck at just the right moment to catch his father's gaze. The man hadn't said anything ever since he came down from his bedroom with one of his former players. Which surprised the boy; he was expecting something at the very least. Maybe a stray insult or something to that degree. The silence annoyed him just as much as an insult would; Travis already knew that'd be the case.

The patriarch of the Martinez household held his son's gaze. No words left his mouth, but Travis could understand what it meant clearly enough. 'You got something to say, boy?' The slight upturn of his brow pissed Travis off to no end. 

But Travis didn't have time for any of that today; today was his day. Their day. As Natalie said, what he thought didn't matter, only what they felt for each other. 

It was just a simple step forward, a step towards everything good in his life. Natalie, his mom, and Javi. They were all crowding around the camera and making overly cheesy sounds over the photos of him and Natalie. If you had shown Travis that sight last week? He'd scoff in your face and tell you that shit was cringy. But today? Today it felt like home.

Letting a smile slip onto his face, a real smile, Travis snatched the camera from Javi and squinted down at it. "Let me see that."

It was just a simple step forward. But it was forward instead of back. Towards something bright and full of life instead of the usual isolation he forced upon himself. 

It was a step forward.

The gymnasium had been completely redecorated for prom. Banners were hung up, glittery strips of blue and yellow were covering nearly everything, and to top it all off, a fancy disco ball was hanging in the middle of the roof. It was the most decorated Travis had ever seen the place, but he also rarely was in the gym, so maybe that was why.

He and Natalie had snagged one of the last available tables near the back of the gym; it was quieter there. But right now, they weren't at their table; they were at a much more crowded one. One that was full of Yellowjackets.

Jackie was leaning against Jeff, surprising nobody. Shauna was standing next to them awkwardly, and Laura Lee was with the boy she mentioned from church. Taissa and Van were in the middle of discussing something, and Lottie was just nodding along to their conversation.

But the addition of Natalie seemed to finally alter the awkward atmosphere slightly. "Nat! You look good, and you too, Travis." Jackie was the first to greet the couple. Her smile seemed genuine; maybe she and Shauna had made up?

"Yeah? Better be careful, or me and Trav are gonna swipe that prom king and queen spot from you two."

Lottie, pulling herself into the conversation, raised a brow at Natalie. "Trav? Got a new nickname for him now?"

As they bickered, Travis felt a bit compelled towards the only other guy at the table. Jeff Sadecki. They knew quite literally next to nothing about one another. All Travis knew about the blonde was that he was on the football team once, and well, he was blonde.

"Hey, Jeff," He muttered lamely. 

"What's up, flex!" The way Jeff said the insult almost made it sound like a nickname instead of something that had tormented the boy for years. Travis couldn't even be upset; he doubted that Jeff knew anything about where the name came from.

Jackie elbowed her boyfriend in the side. "Jeff."

"What?"

Watching Travis awkwardly stand around, Natalie nudged her shoulder against his. "I'll go get us some drinks. Stay here?"

"Nah, I'll be halfway home before you get back."

"Asshole." 

Walking towards the teacher-manned drink station, Natalie may or may not have added some sway to her hips just to tease the boy. And Travis definitely noticed, not that he'd ever tell the girl that he was staring at her ass.

"So, Trav, enjoying prom so far?" Lottie snapped the boy out of his thoughts.

"Uh—it's okay. It's not as bad as I thought it'd be."

Travis found himself still slightly intimidated by the girl. It could've been a plethora of things, really, her height, her eyes, or maybe it was the way she smiled. Any one of those things could be it, or maybe it was all of them. But he was at prom with his girlfriend, he wasn't going to let a little bit of anxiety prevent him from having fun.

"I'm glad you took my advice."

"Huh?"

"When I drove you home, I told you to tell her about your feelings. And I'm assuming you listened?"

That, that was another reason he felt uneasy around the girl. It's like she always knew what to say and how it'd turn out. Travis was never a big skeptic, not like his uncle was. But even he knew that something was slightly off with Lottie's constant state of understanding.

"Yeah, I did." 

Lottie smiled faintly at him. "I could tell. Natalie's been different lately, you both have." Taking a sip of her drink, the girl continued to smile at Travis from behind the rim. "It's good, you're both good for each other."

Giving Lottie his best attempt at a smile, Travis turned around and leaned back against the table. He liked being at prom more than he cared to admit. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he could just fade into the background as everybody enjoyed themselves. It was always like that, though, even at family gatherings, he'd just mess around with Javi while simultaneously avoiding the rest of his family.

Travis figured he just liked spending time with his loved ones.

Perking up when a familiar leopard print dress entered his vision, Travis gratefully took one of the cups that Natalie held out towards him. "I thought you were supposed to be halfway home by now?"

"Mm, I decided that I could spare just a little bit of my time for prom."

"How gentlemanly of you."

Nodding her head towards Travis's cup, Natalie had a small grin on her face. "These are special; they have a little vodka in them."

"The school allowed that?"

Nearly spitting her drink out, Natalie had to pound on her chest a few times to prevent herself from choking. "Oh my God—no, the school didn't allow it! I just happen to know some people who snuck some alcohol in."

Looking down at his cup, Travis swirled the contents around a few times. It was red, from what he assumed was the fruit punch the school had bought for them. But now he knew that there was something else in there. Travis had just had his first real hangover a few days ago, and it was absolutely horrible. Not to mention the fact that he had made out with Natalie in front of everybody there. 

"What? You scared, Travis?" 

Scoffing, Travis instantly folded at the challenge to his pride. "Watch this." Tipping his head back, the boy downed at least half of his drink in just a few seconds. The vodka stung his throat, but the fruity taste of whatever the drink originally was helped a bit.

"Oh wow, was that supposed to impress me?"

Wiping the excess alcohol around his mouth with the back of his hand, Travis leaned back against the table nonchalantly. "Wait, you're not?"

"You are such a damn dork, Trav."

Prom was in full swing now. People were dancing, people were drunk, people were making out. It was as if a typical Friday night party had somehow been transported into the Wiskayok High School gymnasium. 

Travis would be lying if he said he wasn't drunk at this point. He was 2, maybe 3 drinks in. All he knew for sure was that he had stopped tasting the vodka, and that made everything so much better.

He and Natalie were sitting with the others as some group-wide conversation was happening. Travis had no damn idea what they were all talking about; he had been nodding off, listening to the music for who knows how long.

Looking over at Natalie as she went on about God knows what, Travis just smiled and leaned against her shoulder. He was right where he wanted to be.

Opening his eyes back up, Travis blinked a few times, and suddenly he was standing in front of Jeff.

"I mean, my dad never took me hunting or anything like that. We don't really... believe in guns in my house, y'know?"

Unable to recall how this conversation even started, Travis just nodded his head and went off what he currently had in his hazy memories. "I've been hunting a few times with my dad, I guess. He was kinda just yelling at me the whole time, though."

"Sounds like he's an asshole."

"He is"

The two boys' conversation quickly died after that. What else was Jeff supposed to say? What was Travis supposed to say? Why the hell were they even talking in the first place?

Downing some of his drink, Travis listened as Shauna vented about some argument she and Jackie had gotten into earlier in the day. "And I don't know why it mattered so much to her! I wasn't fucking hooking up with Randy Walsh. I was hooking up with Jeff anyway."

If Travis were just a tad bit more sober, he'd wonder why Shauna was hooking up with her best friend's boyfriend. But in his current state, he just attentively nodded his head. "Did you tell her? Maybe that'd help."

Letting out a scoff, Shauna took an angry swig of her punch as she glared at the couple. They were currently dancing in the middle of the gym. "She just wouldn't understand if I told her."

"Mm, that seems pretty complicated."

"Trust me, it is."

Sitting in his seat, Travis wasn't complaining at all as Natalie straddled his lap. The two were making out to some slow song that the DJ had put on. "I've been looking for you all over, Trav." She mumbled between kisses.

"I'm not even sure where I've been."

Snorting, Natalie rested her forehead against his. "You trying to get all deep now?"

"I am something of a modern-day Shakespeare." 

"You're a modern-day idiot."

"I'll take it as long as it means I'm your idiot."

Pressing a kiss to the side of his mouth, Natalie stared down at the boy. "Every day of the week"

At some point during the night, Natalie had led the boy out of the gym to somewhere across town. He had asked multiple times where they were going, but every single time, he was met with the same answer. 'It's a secret,' and honestly, he was content with that answer.

But now he finally got to see where Natalie was taking him. And it was certainly something. An old railroad tract that had a few abandoned carts still left over. The place was rusty and overgrown to hell, but it had a bit of charm to it.

"Is this where you murder me now?" 

"Totally, I mean this whole week I've just been buttering you up to bring you here."

Hopping up into one of the empty carts, Natalie patted the space next to her as an invitation to Travis. One that the boy gladly took, his feet were killing him from all the walking they had done. Plus, all the standing in the gym? He was ready to relax.

He ended up finding the old metal more comfortable than he originally imagined it would be. "The stars are out tonight." He hummed. They were as pretty as they had always been, although they were a bit dimmer than he remembered. Then again, he only ever really had a good look when his dad took him hunting.

"You into that type of stuff? Stars, I mean."

"Nah, I don't know what they mean or anything like that. I just know like one constellation, and it's only because of my dad."

"He taught you?"

"Kind of, more like yelled it at me. But yeah, he said they were a good way to know what direction you were going, I dunno. I never really paid much attention when he spoke about that shit."

Slowly interlocking her arm with Travis's, Natalie rested her head against his. "So you're a survivalist on the side? Learning something new about you every minute."

Chuckling, the boy happily accepted Natalie's body warmth. It might've been Spring still, but that didn't mean the nights didn't get cold. "Gods no, I wouldn't last a second out in the wilderness. I'd probably die from like—a mushroom or something."

"A mushroom? C'mon, give yourself more credit than that, Travis! You'd die an honorable death to a wolf, but not before giving it a good fight."

"It feels like, in some messed-up way, you're trying to say I'm strong?"

Natalie squeezed his biceps playfully. "You telling me these are just for show?"

"They're for attracting cute blondes."

A peaceful silence took over the rail yard after that. Travis certainly didn't mind it at all; it gave him a moment to think. Fortunately, he was considerably more sober now, so he could do that. He reflected on the last few days, the last few years of his life.

It was all coming to a weird, abrupt end. Some random day in May, he was going to graduate and never have to deal with high school again. Travis wasn't sure that he'd miss it, but he'd miss the routine of it all. School gave his life a shape, something he could cling to and something that kept him safe. But now it was losing that shape, and he was completely unprepared.

"Hey, uh—what are you gonna do after we graduate?"

"Probably smoke a little, maybe take you to some fancy restaurant if you'd let me."

"No! I meant like, life-wise, what are you gonna do?"

Oh. Now that was a conversation Natalie was incredibly not ready for. And it was mostly because she had no idea herself. She had spent all of her senior year worrying about soccer, food, smoking, and actually having the grades to graduate. Now that she was at the finish line, she wasn't quite sure what was next.

"I... I dunno honestly."

"Me neither."

"I applied to Rutgers, I actually got in, too." This was the first time Natalie was talking to someone about her future, actually talking to someone. The brief conversations she had with the guidance counselor didn't count. "But... I dunno, Trav. I just don't know if that's me."

"What? Going to Rutgers?"

"Yeah! I mean, I party, I smoke, I drink, I'm so far off from a scholar it just feels like I'd be pretending." Natalie couldn't help but feel like she was bound to Wiskayok, bound to the infamous reputation she had managed to build in the last four years. The one she was the furthest thing from proud of.

"If it helps, I don't think you're too far off." 

Raising her brow at Travis, Natalie turned slightly to face the boy.

"You... maybe behind all that stuff you don't feel like you are, but to me? To me, all I see is one of the hardest-working girls I've ever seen in my life."

Natalie felt her breath hitch.

"I mean, for months, I was forced to sit there and watch you guys practice. I never really could get into soccer, but I still could see how you were all working for it. You especially. Even when everything was—well, shit, you kept giving it everything you had. And I think that is what really matters."

Doing her best to brush off the boy's praise, Natalie scoffed while looking off to the side. "Yeah? Well, that's soccer, it's a bit different from college."

"Either way, you're one of the strongest people I've ever met. Even when something seems impossible, you just keep trying until you make it work. I've never seen you give up."

"And here I thought I was just getting a cute boyfriend when we started dating." She said dryly.

"Well, not only am I hot, but I also come with encouraging words sometimes."

Well, wasn't that the truth? Leaning back against Travis, Natalie looked out at the stars with him. "Y'know, Rutgers might not be so bad if you were there. I think I'd be able to stomach it a little more with you there."

"I applied too, my art teacher basically forced me to."

"Art? You, Travis Martinez, are an artist?"

"No! No, god no. The only reason she wanted me to apply was so I could check out their architecture program."

"So you're an architect?" 

"I'm nothing right now."

"You're mine."

For the first time in a long time, everything was quiet. There were no nagging voices in the back of her head, no skeletons, no sudden bangs, nothing. All Natalie could hear was the heartbeat attached to the torso she was currently snuggling into. 

It was the same for Travis, no shouting, no names, no anything. It was him and Natalie. Just them out there, nobody to judge them for who they used to be. He loved it, loved her.

"Hey, Natalie?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you." The words weren't heavy, weren't laced with any secret motives, nothing like that. They were soft and transparent. What Travis said is what he meant. He loved her, utterly and thoroughly. Inside and out.

"I love you too, Travis." 

Neither teen knew what the future had in store for them. And they were still scared about what it all meant. But one thing was painstakingly clear to both of them now: they would get through it all with one another.