Chapter Text
“What’s up with Tetchō … he seems more Tetchō-ey then usual”
Tachihara whispered to the girl beside him, she was far too engrossed in her breakfast to dignify him with a sideways glance.
“Jouno died”
She replied blankly, still shoving down mouthfuls of pancakes as Tachihara stared at her jaw open, completely nonplussed.
“HUH ?!”
Tachihara stood up abruptly causing a great clang as he hit the table with his fist.
“I KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN AROUND MUCH LATELY BUT HOW COME NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT THIS”
He yelled fighting back tears, Teruko only stared at him deadpan before raising an eyebrow.
“Jeez my bad I didn’t know you like that stupid thing so much”
Teruko laughed it off, going back to eating and flicking through the newspaper, Tachihara only glared in an unfiltered fury.
“I KNOW WE DIDNT ALWAYS SEE EYE TO EYE WITH HIM BUT HOW COULD YOU CALL HIM THAT — HOW COULD YOU BE SO UNBOTHERED”
Tachihara was choking back tears now, Teruko only scowled at him for the angry uproar.
How was she supposed to know Tachihara would give a fuck ?!
“Tachihara it is far too early for your over enthusiasm”
Tachihara snapped his head around to the condescending voice that he was so so accustomed to.
“JOUNO ?!”
He stammered, he was so confused what the hell was going on ?!
Jouno only furrowed his brow, if he still had his eyes he’d roll them.
The hunting dogs were utterly insufferable sometimes, he didn’t care to find out what the hell was going on with Tachihara and why he was so surprised to see him.
He came down to the eating area at the same time everyday, so he couldn’t wrap his head around what all the fuss was about.
“Michizō’s upset cause I don’t care about Tetchōs bird croaking”
Teruko butted in not looking up from her plate as Tachihara snapped his head around to look at her and then back at Jouno.
BIRD ?!
WHAT BIRD ?!
Oh…
Wait.
Tetchōs bird … was called Jouno.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT THE BIRD ?!
“Why ?! I’m glad that stupid things finally died, I get my office space back now.”
Jouno replied dryly, though he acted unaffected by the death he was actually ecstatic — he’d been praying for the downfall of that stupid feather duster since Tetchō first brought it into his office.
“I thought … oh never mind”
Tachihara wiped his tears and slapped on a happy grin, at first he was humiliated by the mixup but now he was just happy Jouno was still alive and kicking rather than dead and buried.
Teruko let out a loud laugh upon realising what had just happened, Jouno also let out a small laugh clocking onto what had occurred.
“WAIT DID YOU THINK I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE REAL JOUNO ?!”
Teruko replied through loud laughs, Jouno only shook his head smiling. Tachihara simmered in his own embarrassment before joining in the amusement — he could tell why this could be funny.
The merriment was only broken by Tetchōs abrupt standing and leaving.
Tachihara suddenly felt bad, he knew Tetchō liked that bird a great deal ; it was inconsiderate to be laughing about it so heartily like this.
Tachihara began to stand to go after him however Jouno quickly shot a hand in front of him signalling Tachihara to halt he had a stern expression on his porcelain features and the boy decided it would be best to not go against a direct order right now.
“Leave him to sulk”
Jouno ordered bluntly.
Tachihara sighed and shook his head, he decided it was best to leave those two to deal with their issues together.
Their closeness was their own deal and he didn’t care to face Jouno's wrath if he messed with it.
Tetchō was marching up and down his room, occasionally stopping to stare at his ant collection before continuing.
He was pissed off at Jouno.
Though he wasn’t quite aware of that himself, Tetchō was particularly bad at labelling his emotions; he just knew Jouno had annoyed him.
Jouno was perfectly aware he had pissed Tetchō off — he just refused to apologise.
He wasn’t sorry Tetchō's bird died, in fact he didn’t care and he wasn’t going to pretend he did.
It wasn’t his problem, in fact Jouno had told Tetchō countless times to his face that he hoped that puny little thing would hurry up and die.
So why should he pretend to be sad when it actually happened ?
Jouno sighed and returned to his office, he decided working would take his mind of his own rage that Tetchō was angry at him for not being sad.
He smiled to himself a sense of immense satisfaction washing over him upon sensing how much free space he had now that clunky old cage was gone.
He’d thrown it out within ten minutes of Tetchō telling him that his bird had died, a particular spring in his step as he did.
That was when this whole thing started.
Tetchō didn’t like how eager Jouno was to throw it away, he then proceeded to jab him with his sword for being too happy which pissed Jouno off.
So now it was just a constant back and fourth of passive agressive micro aggressions towards eachother.
It always managed to turn into a competition somehow.
Who could piss the other off more.
He sat down enjoying a split second of peace before sensing Tetchō's presence behind the door.
He was lurking.
Jouno hated when Tetchō would do that, it was what he would do when he was uncertain of the situation, he’d just linger outside until Jouno gave him verbal confirmation.
It was like dealing with a nervous child, it drove Jouno crazy.
But not this time.
If he wanted to come in then he could just open the door and walk in.
Jouno refused to agree to the entrance because that would imply he wanted him inside — which he did not.
He could sulk outside for all he cared, honestly for someone so composed and quiet all the damn time whyd he have to be such a fucking child.
Jouno was sure there must be some reason in Tetchōs past that made him so socially incompetent, however he refused to make any changes in his own life to cater for that.
It was Tetchō's problem, so Tetchō would have to deal with it on his own.
Time moved painfully slow as Jouno pretended to be busy working, Tetchō was still lurking.
9:30 — still there.
10:12 — not moved
11:06 — believe it or not STILL FUCKING THERE.
It was driving Jouno crazy, why the hell was he still here.
Tetchō must know he could tell he was out there.
Maybe that was why he was waiting.
Because he wanted Jouno to be the one to let him in.
God what a fucking child.
Jouno with his will power of steel continued to be stubborn as he put all of his energy into trying to focus on work.
It was like a stupid puppy had followed him home.
Jouno huffed to himself as he typed furiously on his computer before stopping.
In a way Tetchō was just a puppy that followed him home, but that was ages ago now Tetchō was loyal to him and him alone.
Much like a pet.
Jouno grimaced, he knew that meant he had some responsibility to take care of Tetchō now.
NO !
WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKING ?!
Tetchō wasn’t a lost puppy, he was a grown ass man who could take care of himself, Jouno refused to give in as he persevered through his documenting.
He wasn’t going to give in.
Not again.
Not this time.
He wasn’t going to act all tough and then crumble like he always did
The day continued to pass in that same painfully slow fashion, each tick of the clock hand stabbing into Jouno's brain.
However the occasional shuffling of Tetchōs footing was far louder and much more irritating.
Jouno tapped his foot trying to regain his focus, he’d been trying to work all day but his computer screen was a rather pathetic sight.
He’d managed to write four lines in the entire day he’d been working.
Two of which where the time and date.
It’s five thirty when he finally heard what sealed his victory.
Tetchō sighed, pricking his ears as he shot his head to the door a proud look of accomplishment dawning his face.
He listened eagerly to the sound of Tetchōs footsteps turning away and walking down the hall.
HE’D WON !
HE DID IT !
He wanted some kind of award for all the effort he had put in.
Would he have been able to do his work if he just let Tetchō in and dealt with the problem before resuming … probably BUT HE STILL WON.
He grinned as the sound of Tetchōs footsteps got further and further away from his door.
Nothing could spoil this perfect victory.
Without another second passing Jouno kicked open the door storming out into the hallway.
“FINE ! GET IN THE FUCKING CAR”
Jouno spat, catching the attention of Tetchō who was at the end of the corridor.
Tetchō only tilted his head.
“?”
Jouno got angrier at the lack of reaction.
“DONT ‘?’ ME ! ALL DAY YOU’VE BEEN OUT HERE SULKING AND I’M SICK OF IT GO GET IN THE FUCKING CAR”
At the end of the day it was Jouno who spoiled his perfect victory, grumbling to himself the entire brisk walk to the cars outside, Tetchō following curiously behind him.
It was only when they were in the back of the car did Tetchō actually break his silent streak to ask Jouno where the hell they were going, though he was promptly and rather childishly ignored.
“Because of you I have take time out of my day for this”
Jouno seethed crossing his arms, his face was red and the back of his hair was sticking up, Tetchō only blinked at him before dropping to a more deadpan expression.
“I never asked you to”
Jouno glared at him angrier than ever, it was clear Tetchō was still pissed at him.
“Shutup”
That was the only response Jouno could snap in reply before shifting his body away from Tetchō, Tetchō also turned away to look out the window.
Jouno marched out the car practically the moment it pulled into the car park, Tetchō also got out of the car — which he made sure to do as slowly as possible, that really pissed Jouno off ; he couldn’t stand slow people.
“Now hurry up and pick one so I can go home”
They had driven quite some way away to get here and it was the last place on earth Tetchō had expected Jouno of all people to take him.
It was an exotic bird store and quite a large one at that, Tetchō only turned to look at Jouno who was tapping his foot impatiently — standing as far away from the cages as he possibly could ; he still hated birds.
“Jouno”
Tetchō started bluntly, Jouno however only scowled flinching slightly at the sound of a particularly loud squawk.
“What”
He snapped, Tetchō needed to hurry up and pick a stupid bird so he could get the fuck out of this hell hole. It reaked of animal and was loud, it was closing soon too and the woman behind the counter also seemed to be getting particularly impatient.
“Do you feel bad ?”
Tetchō smirked only further enraging Jouno who flushed red.
“NO I JUST WANT YOU TO STOP SULKING ALREADY NOW PICK ONE”
Jouno yelled before being hushed by the woman at the counter who pointed at a “no loud noises they scare the birds” sign.
Jouno bowed in apology, though he wasn’t sorry in the slightest, why should he care if he was scaring the birds the stupid birds were scaring him right back.
“You have to come to”
Tetchō outstretched a hand to Jouno he smacked it away.
“No I bloody don’t”
He snapped, there was absolutely no way in hell he would get any closer to those stupid things.
“Yes”
“No”
“Yes”
“It’s not happening Tetchō”
“Jouno”
“What !”
“Please”
…
“Fine”
Jouno snapped, though he did feel some sort of comfort from Tetchō locking arms with him as they went.
Tetchō was being painfully slow as he inspected every bird, Jouno was only becoming more and more stressed out by all the bodyless squawking — animal movements were hard to track and predict so that made their visibility to Jouno very limited.
“Do you like this one”
Tetchō asked leaning forward to get a closer look, Jouno really wished he could roll his eyes sometimes.
“First of all don’t ask me it’s your stupid bird and second of all how am I supposed to know Tetchō”
Jouno snapped, he came to the realisation he probably should have just agreed because then he’d finally make a decision and they could leave.
“No it’s *our bird”
Tetchō corrected bluntly.
“No it’s bloody not”
Jouno scowled, he was getting this stupid bird for Tetchō so he’d stop sulking that’s all.
“No the last one was my bird this one is our bird”
Tetchō dismissed, he had clearly already made his mind up and that rendered all of Jounos backchat and bickering useless.
“Well what’s it even look like”
Jouno asked gingerly as he stood far far away from Tetchō who was being handed the bird by the woman as a sort of comparability test.
“It’s white but also blue”
Tetchō replied bluntly, Jouno shot the man a look of — bitch are you serious what kind of description is that ?!
The woman seemed to pick up on this and decided to fill Jouno in.
“He’s a parakeet, he’s white with blue accents real friendly — you can hold him if you like”
The woman smiled kindly though Jouno only replied with a disgusted grimace.
He quickly corrected his expression to a more kinder one as he politely declined.
“Jounos scared of birds that’s why he made the face”
Tetchō who was still fully captivated by the bird butted in not looking up. If they weren’t out in public Jouno would have strangled Tetchō where he stood for exposing him like that.
“Oh I see, my apologies then”
She smiled again, Jouno forced himself to reciprocate the action.
“Do you like it Jouno ?”
Tetchō asked again, he still had the bird in his hands, once more Jouno REALLY wished he could roll his eyes.
“I don’t like any of them dimwit — what part of I hate birds do you not understand”
He snapped, making the woman laugh, he had almost completely forgotten she was there.
“You two certainly are lively”
She sighed affectionately as she took them to the counter to make the purchase, where Jouno begrudgingly payed, he was still keeping his distance from Tetchō which was a rather amusing sight to behold.
“I’m not getting in that car with you unless you put that thing in a cage”
Jouno demanded, though he had to yell it as he was stood a good four meters away from Tetchō in the carpark.
Tetchō complied and they both began the rather long journey home.
“Thankyou Jouno”
Tetchō broke the silence, he was sure he was supposed to put his hand on Jouno's shoulder or make some kind of physical connection though he wasn’t quite sure what he wanted to do so he did nothing.
“Yeah yeah whatever”
Jouno dismissed, his face a little flushed as he pushed down the back of his hair. Tetchō seemed dead set on continuing the conversation.
“You can stop sulking now”
Jouno stated, attempting to recover a more casual demeanor.
“Heh”
Tetchō grinned smugly, he quite enjoyed it when Jouno would refuse to do something and then do exactly that.
It was often Jouno would spoil him like that.
“What was that for”
Jouno snapped bitterly seeing Tetchō so smug pissed him off.
“Just that you love me”
Tetchō replied casually, Jouno however was anything but casual about what had just been said.
He was nonplussed.
He attempted a sentence a good couple times each time no sound came out, just opening and closing his mouth. It was like he was chewing the air.
“Shut up”
Was all he could manage, he was completely red as he attempted to smooth down the back of his hair, Tetchō was smug as ever.
“So you do love me then ?”
Tetchō teased in his usual monotone tone only enraging Jouno further, every time Jouno thought Tetchō couldn’t possibly embarrass him anymore, he always went ahead and proved him wrong.
“NO I DONT YOU’RE A PAIN IN THE ASS AND I CAN’T STAND YOU”
Joining yelled in frustration, this only encouraged Tetchō to push it even further.
“Then why’d you ‘take time out of your day’ to buy me a new bird”
Tetchō asked, he was using the surefire method to calling Jouno out — as long as he quoted back something Jouno had said Jouno couldn’t argue it because he was too stubborn to take back any of his prior comments, so he’d simply admit defeat.
“ONLY BECAUSE YOU WERE SULKING OUTSIDE MY DOOR ALL DAY I’M SICK OF IT”
Jouno protested, he knew he was losing but that didn’t mean he would defend his fragile ego until the end.
“Because you want me to be happy because you love me”
Tetchō replied bluntly, the words never failed to make Jouno stop in his tracks.
It went silent for a few pain staking seconds before Jouno sighed.
“Fine”
He huffed, he was trying to maintain his composure and not strangle Tetchō.
“So you do love me ?”
Tetchō pushed, there was a certain hopefulness in his usually monotone voice, which only further embarrassed Jouno.
“I already bought you that stupid little rat with wings now don’t push your luck”
Jouno huffed, he hated how perceptive Tetchō could be especially because how he never seemed to be perceptive when it would actually be useful.
“Jouno”
Tetchō always did that, announce Jounos name before actually speaking, Jouno assumed it was because of his military background.
“What”
And Jouno would snap back with that every time, he sounded so agitated — like it pissed him off that Tetchō would even dare address him.
But Tetchō knew Jouno actually quite enjoyed his company, it made him feel warm inside.
“Nothing”
Tetchō replied casually, he came to the conclusion that Jouno wouldn’t be able to take anymore — he felt he had flustered him far enough for now.
“You are single handedly the most agitating man I’ve ever had the displeasure of encountering.”
Jouno huffed, he hated when Tetchō would back out in the last second and leave him wondering.
“Yes — but you love me Jouno so you can’t find me that agitating”
Tetchō replied smugly, he had found a new thing to tease Jouno with.
“ACTUALLY YOU KNOW WHAT JUST DIE I HATE YOU SO MUCH TETCHŌ DO YOU HEAR ME ARE YOU LISTENING I HATE YOUR GUTS DROP DEAD”
Jouno was completely flustered as he yelled at Tetchō who was still - much to the distaste of Jouno - sat incredibly smugly.