Chapter Text
“Hello children,” Rozanov sauntered out of Grandma’s totally normal Tucson. Somehow he made it look like one of his ridiculous sports cars. He removed his sunglasses, grinning cheekily at Marie’s boys who all had identical gobsmacked expressions, “Marly, Pike,”
“Roz?” Cliff asked, and Hayden could feel his questioning eyes on the back of his neck.
Jonah interrupted the stare down, “Uncle Hayden you know Ilya Rozanov?”
“Unfortunately,” Hayden said, watching as Rozanov offered a hand to Babushka. Grandma climbed out of the car, gave him a re-assuring smile, before greeting her great-grandchildren.
“Ilyusha is my friend,” Grandma told Marie’s boys proudly, and Hayden fought the urge to curse. Not that Marie’s boys didn’t know curse words but Grandma would not be pleased if he taught them more, “I have adopted him. New grandchild,”
Lucas’ eyebrows nearly disappeared to his hairline, “does that make him like our Uncle?”
“Perhaps,” Rozanov said, “maybe. Are you still playing or have you beaten your Uncle Hayden to shame?”
“Really Rasputin?” Hayden could not stop himself from responding, “the game just started,”
“Mom?” Joe Pike had stepped out onto his porch. He hid the cigarette behind his back but his mother had seen it. She pursed her lips, and Hayden watched his father go from a man approaching sixty shrink as if he were six again, “I-Ilya Rozanov?!” Joe’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head as he looked between Hayden, Cliff, and the extremely famous hockey player now standing casually in his driveway, “Hayden why didn’t you tell me another MHL pro player was coming? I did not prepare enough steak,”
“I didn’t invite him,” Hayden said, “Grandma brought him,”
“Grandma brought him?” his father repeated bending down to hug his mother and kiss her cheek, “this is-
“Ilya Rozanov,” Ilya held out his hand.
“My new grandson,” Grandma nearly purred out.
“Well,” he said after a moment, shaking Roz’s hand, “I guess that makes me your dad.”
The joke was cringe. Ilya smiled and nodded his head. Hayden could not believe this was his life.
“Do you need more children Mr. Pike? Do you not have one hundred?”
His dad grinned barking out a laugh, “sometimes it feels that way,”
“Hey!” Hayden cried out.
No one bothered to respond to his outburst. Jonah had raced up to Ilya with the last hockey stick. He held it up to Ilya who took the plastic stick and grinned.
“Where is Masha?” Grandma asked, “I have words,”
“I am here Grandma,” Marie said appearing on the porch, “I should’ve known Zaychaik would have called you. Always hopping to Grandma’s skirts to hide…Rozanov?!”
“Hello,” Ilya called out, “are you Masha?”
“Marie, really,” she corrected, attempting a breezy tone that fooled absolutely no one.
“You should know Rozanov that all of the children staring at you like you’re their god all were birthed by her,”
“Must you ruin all of my fun?” Marie rolled her eyes, “you are assembling a hockey harem-
“What’s a harem mom?” Micah interrupted.
This should be good, Hayden thought.
Marie’s eyes grew comically wide, “its something you’ll learn about later,”
“Smooth honey,” their father said, “I’m going on a supply run for food-
“I’ll come with you Mr. Pike,” Cliff said, surprising nearly everyone else.
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Cliff hadn’t expected to end up in Joe Pike’s minivan.Ten minutes earlier he’d been playing driveway hockey with a pack of overexcited children while Ilya Rozanov appeared like some kind of Russian hockey deity. Now he was sitting in the passenger seat of a beige family vehicle that smelled faintly like old French fries and hockey tape while Hayden’s father drove them toward the general store.Cliff stared out the window, watching the houses pass.
“Are you okay?” Joe sounded like his son when he asked. Mr. Pike turned on his indicator, looking both ways before turning right.Cliff watched the road ahead but didn’t answer right away. He honestly didn’t know what the answer was.His brain still felt like it had been hit with a puck, “if it’s any consolation, you’re handling the extremely strange chaos very well,”
“Extremely strange?” Cliff asked, “Is this not everyday Pike family dynamics?”
Mr. Pike laughed, offering a few smiles. Cliff had noticed that Hayden had his grandmother’s smile, but it appeared Mr. Pike inherited it first. It made him feel soft on the inside. What was he becoming? What was Pikachu turning him into?
“You’ve met my mom,” Mr. Pike continued, “I was born into chaos. I married a different kind of chaos, and we brought into this world nine loving but extremely chaotic individuals,”
Cliff had not met all of the Pike siblings just yet to determine if that was true. He had yet to see the truly loving side of Marie. If Hayden hadn’t been so affected by her remarks, Cliff might have been more amused by how sharp they were. Mr. Pike pulled into the parking lot, killed the engine, and sat there. His long fingers were tapping along the steering wheel. Was this going to be the “you’re not good enough” for my son chat? Cliff had gotten a few of those from girls he’d dated when he was still in the closet.
“Usually it's my wife who has these theories,” Mr. Pike seemed nervous, “and I don’t want to scare you, but I can see why Hayden likes you,”
Cliff blinked.That was… not what he expected.Joe gave a small, almost apologetic smile.
“You pay attention to him,” he said. “Even when the yard is full of chaos and famous Russians and screaming grandchildren. And when he looks at you, I dunno, there’s something you must do that calms him,”
Cliff blinked.Hayden Pike… calm?Cliff tried very hard not to laugh.He replayed the afternoon in his head,Hayden pacing, Hayden panicking, Hayden whisper-yelling at Rozanov, Hayden nearly combusting every time Marie opened her mouth.Calm was… not the word Cliff would’ve chosen.But then again, Cliff thought about the way Hayden had leaned into him earlier in the kitchen. The way he’d grabbed Cliff’s hand in the living room like he needed the contact. The way his breathing had slowed when Cliff had brushed his cheek upstairs.Maybe Joe wasn’t entirely wrong.Cliff didn’t say any of that out loud.
Joe continued, voice softer now,“So I’m glad you’re here.”
Cliff looked at him again.
“And I’m glad Hayden felt comfortable enough to bring you home,” Joe added. “Because, uh… well.”
Joe hesitated, like he was choosing his words carefully,“He’s never really brought anyone home before.”
Cliff sat very still. His boyfriend was honest to a fault. An oversharer, even if he hadn’t explicitly said that, he had suspected it.
Joe shrugged a little, almost sheepish, “Plenty of friends,” he said. “Hockey teammates. Shane Hollander. Half the neighborhood at one point or another, ”He glanced at Cliff, “But not like this,”
Cliff knew he should say something. I really like your son too. But he can’t force the words out.
“Don’t be mad at Hayden please for calling his grandma,” Joe continued, “he is very close to my mother. She was basically his third parent when he got really into hockey,”
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“I did not know you and Shane both were panic attacks,”
Rozanov sounded both amused and thoughtful. Hayden mostly focused on the amused part. They were holed up in Hayden’s childhood bedroom again. Downstairs the house had descended into full Pike chaos. Grandma was currently yelling at Marie in a mixture of Russian and English that carried clearly through the floorboards. The boys had been temporarily distracted by an ice cream truck that had miraculously appeared on the street, and somewhere down the hall Connor’s twin girls had taken over the old Marie-and-Colleen bedroom and were loudly filming TikToks. Hayden had no response. His mind was reeling with too many thoughts to have a cohesive thought.
“Ah now you share his angry kitten face,”
“That might work on Shane but I do not find it cute or amusing,” Hayden buried his hands in his face. This had all been a disaster. So much so, his boyfriend jumped at the chance to flee, “do you think Cliff is okay?”
Rozanov narrowed his eyes, “he is your boyfriend,”
“I’m asking since you’re his friend,”
Rozanov leaned back against the bunk bed ladder, arms crossed,“He left because Pike family is loud and confusing,” Ilya said calmly. “And because your father asked.”
Hayden still didn’t respond.Roz sighed.“You are both idiots,” he said finally.
Hayden lowered his hands just enough to glare at him again,“Oh really?”
“Yes,” Roz said immediately. “You panic. Marly panic. Shane panic. Everyone panic.”
He gestured vaguely toward the window,“Meanwhile Babushka is fighting your sister.”
Hayden groaned and dropped his head back against the wall.
From downstairs Marie yelled something that sounded like, “I WAS JOKING ABOUT THE HAREM!”
Grandma shouted something back in Russian.Rozanov listened thoughtfully,“…She says your sister has no discipline,” he translated.
“Great,” Hayden muttered. “Fantastic. True but this was a mistake,”
Cliff would break up with him. Who would want to stay with this?Who would want to stay with someone whose family operated like a circus and whose first instinct when things went wrong was to call his grandmother for reinforcements?
Hayden groaned and flopped dramatically onto Laurent’s old bed.The mattress creaked under his weight.He stared up at the faded glow-in-the-dark stars still stuck to the ceiling, relics from when he’d been five and convinced they looked like a real constellation.He squinted at one stubborn star.
“I call Shane, yes?” Rozanov said, “he has experience with melodramatic terrible hockey players,”
Hayden threw a pillow at him. He caught it too easily.
“See overdramatic,” the phone rang three times before Hayden could hear Shane excitedly say Rasputin’s first name, “here. Fix your bestie…Pike I am not your servant hold phone,”
Hayden barely managed to catch the phone before it collided with his face. His best friend’s face was on the screen, clearly concerned. Hayden had half the mind to ask him to join, what was one more? But knew that would just be too overwhelming.
“Hey Hayd,” Shane said, “are you okay?”
“Hollander,” Rozanov growled out, “he is having panic attack,”
“I’m fine…,” Hayden could see the look Shane was giving him, “it was a mistake Shane all of it. I shouldn’t have brought him here,”
“You mean introduce Cliff to your parents?” Shane confirmed, “you’ve been wanting to do this for months. How did they react?”
“They were maybe a bit surprised. My mom was convinced I was…,” Hayden ignored the Russian wiggling his eyebrows, “but they seem okay but Marie’s here, and it's a full on circus. Cliff is going to run for the hills,”
“You are stupid Pike,” Rasputin interrupted, “Marly…,” he seemed to stop himself, “he is attached to you,”
“Ilya is right Hayden. Cliff likes you,”
Rasputin ruined his sweet moment by adding on, “for reasons no one understands,” when both Shane and Hayden yelled, he held up his hands, “I joke. You two are way too serious. When Marly comes back, I distract rest of Pikes. You two talk?”
“Thanks Ilya,” The words left Hayden’s mouth before he could stop them.He froze.He had never called Rozanov by his first name in front of him before.Rozanov’s head snapped up immediately, eyes narrowing with delight.
“Aww I’ve grown on you,”
“I think it's mutual at this point,” Hayden tried and failed to sound bitter about it, “we share a grandma now don’t we?”
“Babushka, how many times do I tell you this?”
Rozanov’s method of distracting the household chaos, apparently, was to pull up his own career highlights on the television.Which, Hayden was loathed to admit, was working disturbingly well.Marie’s boys were lined up on the couch, staring at the screen with the intensity of children who believed they might be tested on the material later.Connor’s twin girls had drifted into the living room and were sitting cross-legged on the floor, staring at Rozanov with the kind of gaga admiration that made Hayden want to gag.
“That’s Shane Hollander,” Jonah pointed, “he’s Uncle Hayden’s best friend and the best player in the league,”
“Boo you whore,” Rozanov told him, “I am the best player,”
“Mom what’s a whore?”
Marie groaned. Hayden had gathered enough of his courage to tap Cliff on the shoulder. He gestured to the front door. Cliff nodded, and they escaped as Rozanov and a seven-year-old argued about league statistics.They both wore hoodies, tugging them over their head as they walked down his childhood block. He doubted the neighbors would notice that Metros player Hayden Pike and Raiders Cliff Marlow were holding hands, but still he hesitated. He knew a more secluded path that boarded the woods. Maybe he could risk the touch there. Hayden waited until they were more secluded to speak.
“I’m so sorry,” Hayden blurted as he directed them towards the path, “I swear I didn’t know Marie was coming. Or that her boys would be there. Or any of it…,” he was going to keep talking, he could feel his nerves building and the need to explain. He tried to keep his eyes from watering, “I know it was insane. And I keep getting you outed to literally fucking everyone. I am so damn sorry, okay? I know you’re used to me being a mess but this was so fucking worse than I ever-
His words were choked off by his boyfriend’s lips capturing his. All of it disappeared. The utter anarchy of his mind, his parents, Marie, her boys, his Grandma, all of it vanished as Cliff’s hands came up to cup his face, with a rare gentleness.
“You’re… an… idiot,” Cliff said softly.Each word was punctuated by a quick kiss.Hayden barely had time to react before the next one landed,one on his mouth, one at the corner of his lips, another brushing against his cheek.
“You’re not mad?” Hayden asked breathlessly.
His hands had come up almost instinctively to Cliff’s sweatshirt, gripping the fabric like he might disappear if Hayden let go. A very reckless part of him wanted to pull Cliff back into another kiss and just stay there for a while. There was an old clearing further down the path where teenagers used to sneak off to make out.But that was… probably inappropriate.Considering they were grown adults.And professional athletes.And technically still in a secret relationship. He settled for slipping his hands beneath the sweatshirt feeling the warmth and strong body beneath it.
“Mad?” Cliff blinked at him.The confusion on his face looked completely genuine.
“It was very strange today,” Cliff admitted slowly. “But I kind of loved it.”
Hayden stared at him,“What?” he said. “Why?”
Cliff shifted his weight, suddenly looking a little self-conscious. His eyes dropped for a moment to where their hands were still loosely tangled together.
“Because your family is…” he started.He trailed off, searching for the right word,“…loud,” he tried first.
Hayden snorted, “That’s extremely generous.”
Cliff huffed a quiet laugh, “They’re also chaotic,” he continued. “And your sister is terrifying.”
“Correct.”
Cliff looked back up at him then, something softer in his expression, “But they like each other,” he finished.
Hayden blinked.
“They tease each other. They yell. They make fun of each other. But…” Cliff shrugged slightly. “You can tell they love each other. A lot.”
Hayden didn’t say anything.Cliff’s voice had gone quieter now,“It was nice to see,” he added.
The words were simple, but the way he said them made something twist gently in Hayden’s chest.Cliff rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly shy about having said it out loud.
“Your dad jokes with you. Your mom fusses over everyone. Your sister roasts you alive but would probably fight anyone else who tried it. Your grandmother…” he paused, smiling faintly, “terrifies the entire household.”
“That’s accurate.”
Cliff looked back toward the direction of the house,“I don’t know,” he said quietly. “It just felt… warm.”
Hayden swallowed.He hadn’t expected that answer.Cliff shifted a little closer again.
“My house never felt that warm Hayes,” Cliff tugged him closer, and he leaned down to rest his forehead against Hayden's.