Chapter Text
Shauna’s coat, soaked through with rain and sitting heavy against her shoulders, was the first thing she took off once she got home. It did little to keep her warm on her walk home from work, and she shucked it off with an earnestness that rivalled how she used to shake off Randy’s arm, which always used to find its way around her shoulders at a house party.
Her shoes came next, a brown pair of Chelsea’s that Jackie had gifted her after she was accepted into one of her dream journalist internships. Which, coincidentally enough, was located at the office she had been walking back from when she got caught in this storm.
Jackie came rushing down the hallway before Shauna could take anything else off.
“Shauna, hey, I was worried about you,” Jackie breathed out upon greeting, all gentle touches and gentle eyes and gentle words. “The rain picked up so quickly. I would’ve called Taissa to ask if she could take you home if I knew it was going to be this bad.”
Their car — Shauna’s car, really — was in the shop right now getting serviced. Shauna had never had any issue going without it for a couple days a year, but this rainstorm hadn’t been mentioned in the weather forecast this morning.
“It’s okay,” Shauna said quietly, teeth chattering, taking Jackie’s offered hand as she pulled her socks off one at a time, tossing them on top of her equally soaked boots. “It wasn’t too bad.”
“Shauna, you’re shivering. And your teeth are knocking,” Jackie said, concern painted all over her face but most evident in her furrowed brows.
Shauna laughed quietly, endeared by how Jackie still said that teeth were ‘knocking’ when people were cold and shivering, unable to shake her childhood vocabulary. She leaned forward to kiss the spot between Jackie’s eyebrows, hoping to smooth out the wrinkle, before kissing her on the cheek and then finally on her lips as she pulled a sprig of mistletoe out of her pocket and held it above them at the same time.
Jackie looked up and gasped, smiled, and took a step forward to hug Shauna. She laughed into her neck even though Shauna’s office clothes, her white button up and black pants, were soaked. “You dork,” she giggled, her breathy laugh warming up the space she had carved her way into. Jackie’s lips were equally warm and her teeth scraped gently across the sensitive skin at the juncture of her shoulder and neck, “Where did you even get that from?”
“Stopped at the corner store on the way home,” Shauna answered, wrapping her arms around Jackie’s shoulders and squeezing her tightly, happy to be home.
Jackie wriggled out of Shauna’s arms and took a step back, to Shauna’s dismay. “In this weather? Shau-”
“I did it before the rain got this heavy,” Shauna interrupted, reassuring Jackie. Her hands found her girlfriend’s waist, meeting little resistance as she urged her closer again. “It was only a detour of a couple minutes. I still would’ve gotten soaked even if I hadn’t stopped.”
Jackie’s frown was back. “Let’s get you dry, baby. I don’t want you getting sick.”
The thought hadn’t even crossed Shauna’s mind during her walk home. She would’ve bought an umbrella at the corner store if it had, she hated being sick. Especially this close to Christmas. It had been her last shift of the year for this internship, and she was excited to spend uninterrupted time with Jackie, their friends, and also see her mom.
She couldn’t do any of that (peacefully) if she was sick.
She picked her wet coat and socks up and walked down the hallway towards the bathroom, Jackie at her heels. Suddenly in tune with every sensation, she resisted the urge to cringe every time her wet clothes moved against her, specifically her pants, which she could hardly stand the fabric texture of even when they were dry.
“Take your time, and warm up, okay?” Jackie said as Shauna walked into the bathroom, squeezing her wrist gently before moving back to lean against the doorway. “I was baking cookies when you came home, there’ll be some ready for you to try when you come out,” she added, reaching out to grab Shauna’s chin gently and bring her in for another chaste kiss when she got close enough.
“Thanks, Jax,” Shauna smiled. “I’ll be quick.”
“No, seriously, Shauna, don’t be. I’m not going anywhere, and I really want you to warm up. This is exactly how Nat and Van got sick last year.”
Shauna resisted the urge to grumble. She loved Nat and Van, really, she did, and she was incredibly grateful for how they stuck with Jackie when they had had their falling out at the end of their senior year after Nationals. Still, she often found herself envious of her two friends who got to live off campus with Jackie for their first two years of college, knowing she would never gain that time back and knowing it was her fault.
There was nothing she could do about it now, and at least her and Jackie are faring better than Taissa and Van, but still. Sue her, she gets a little jealous sometimes when she thinks about her girlfriend doting over her attractive best friends, both of whom Shauna has on record for having liked Jackie in the past.
“I’ll warm up,” Shauna smiled as she started to undress. “Just miss you. I’m excited for this break.”
Jackie pouted like Shauna had said something super sweet, but then turned around. Still leaning against the doorway, but now her back was to Shauna. Shauna couldn’t help but laugh.
“You can’t say something like that after I’ve also missed you all day, and while you’re stripping for a shower,” Jackie said. “Leave your wet clothes on the tile by the door, once I hear the water running I’ll get the laundry started for your work clothes and then bring in some new clothes and a towel for you.”
“Thank you,” Shauna whispered, stripped down to just her boxers and having snuck up right behind Jackie as she spoke, she pushed Jackie’s hair to the side and kissed the back of her neck.
Jackie jumped, shrieked, turned a bright indignant red as she turned around to face Shauna briefly before turning around once again. “Get in the shower, Shipman.”
Shauna could still see the bright red tips of her ears as she laughed, but did as she was told.
—
Thoroughly warmed up after her shower, Shauna made quick work with her post-shower routine, aiming to be back in Jackie’s company as quickly as possible. She pulled on the Christmas themed pajamas Jackie had brought into the bathroom for her, pants and a sleep tank, warm and straight out of the dryer. She did the absolute minimum with her hair, drying it just enough so that it wasn’t actively dripping, both because she couldn’t be bothered to take the time with it right now, and with the hope that Jackie will offer to help with it, as she usually did.
She did take the time to gently wash her face and apply a niacinamide serum that Van had recommended to her though, aware that the low dose of testosterone she was on would increase how prone she was to acne. Already having gone through seemingly uncontrollable acne in her early teenage years, she was looking to prevent that from happening again.
That took her less than a total of five minutes though, and she hung up her towel and left the bathroom to find Jackie as soon as she was done.
Jackie was dancing in the kitchen, seemingly without a single care that she was out of time to the music coming from their window sill radio. To give her some credit, the rain outside was doing its best to drown out the old, crackly sound.
Jackie smiled sheepishly at Shauna when she saw her leaning against the island counter, caught in the middle of a slow spin.
“Why’d you stop?” Shauna asked, grinning at Jackie as she closed the gap between them, taking her into her arms and spinning them both around the kitchen, slowly, effortlessly, seamlessly continuing what Jackie had just been doing, if not more in time with the music now.
“You’ve always been better at this than me,” Jackie’s smile morphed into something less embarrassed, and despite her answer, she followed Shauna’s lead perfectly.
Shauna hummed and extended her arm upward, encouraging Jackie to spin under her arm.
Jackie spun, giggling as she did, reminding Shauna all too much of the first time they practiced this choreography. Eight years old and stuck at the country club that hosted the ballroom dance lessons Mrs Taylor had enrolled Jackie and Shauna in over the summer, there had been an uneven ratio of girls to boys. And, of course, Jackie had volunteered the two of them to be the odd pair, had volunteered for herself to be the girl being led by another girl, unfathomable to the eyes of most who frequented the country club, but most of all Mrs. Taylor.
She had been fuming when she learnt of the news after their third lesson, speaking in angry, hushed tones to Mr. Taylor in the front of the car about uncouthness, reputation, and dykes during the drive back to Jackie’s house. Shauna hadn’t known what the last word had meant at the time, but she prided herself on her intelligence, and so the first thing she had done when she returned to her own home was look the word up on the computer her dad had forgotten to take with him.
She still felt anger simmer under the surface of her skin when she recalled how young she had been, how she had looked up the word phonetically, dikes, so unused to the hateful vitriol that she couldn’t even spell it. She could still recall the parallel feelings of confusion and a sinking in her chest as she read the blue light screen.
If only Mrs Taylor could see them now.
Out of time with the music now, Shauna spun Jackie back into her arms easily and then dipped her over her arm, admiring the way Jackie arched back gracefully, the way she wholly trusted Shauna’s hold on her.
Jackie pulled herself back up and pushed forward into Shauna, disrupting her lead. Jackie kissed her soundlessly, confidently, and then pulled back as quickly as she had surged forward at the sound of a timer going off.
“Oh, the cookies are ready!” Jackie exclaimed excitedly, pulling out of Shauna’s arms to open the oven door.
Shauna couldn’t help but chuckle as she moved to the fridge to pour herself a glass of wine and to open a bottle of cider for Jackie. “They smell good, honey.”
“Good,” Jackie smiled, pulling the cookie tray out of the oven and placing it onto the counter, careful not to let it slip out of her oven mitts. “You can try one when they cool down, and after dinner you’re going to help me decorate them.”
“Got it,” Shauna smiled, handing the cider to Jackie.
“Thanks,” Jackie kissed Shauna’s cheek, scrunching her nose when she felt Shauna’s wet hair. “How was your shower? Your hair is still wet.”
Shauna smiled sheepishly. “It was good. I warmed up.”
“Yeah, well, that’s not going to do any good if you let your hair stay wet and cold,” Jackie argued lightly, poking Shauna’s shoulder. She put her cider down on the counter and rolled the sleeves of her Christmas sweater up to her elbows. “Go sit down in front of the couch, find something on tv.”
Shauna did as she was asked, smiling ever so slightly to herself as she heard Jackie walk down the hallway to the bathroom.
Shauna found the channel that played Friends quickly, Jackie’s favourite tv show, and Jackie entered the room again not too long after that, towel and brush in hand. She deposited them onto a cushion of their couch and then sat next to them, fitting her legs behind Shauna’s back and quickly running her fingers through her damp hair to get a feel for how wet it was.
Her fingers pulled out of Shauna’s hair after a few seconds, and instead moved to her temples. “Let me know if I’m ever hurting you, okay?” Jackie said quietly as she tilted Shauna’s head up, before starting to dry Shauna’s hair at the hairline.
“You never do,” Shauna answered, to which Jackie flicked her ear gently.
“Ow,” Shauna giggled.
“Seriously,” Jackie laughed slightly too, “I’m trying to take care of you, not make you feel even worse after getting soaked on your way home. Tell me if anything hurts.”
“Got it,” Shauna closed her eyes, still trusting that Jackie had never and would never, not with something like this. “How was your day at home?”
“It was good!”
Shauna could hear the smile in Jackie’s voice. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, I finally had the time to go through my to-do list,” Jackie elaborated, drying the ends of Shauna’s hair now. “Grocery shopping, last minute gift shopping… I vacuumed, too, and cleaned the bedroom.”
“Thank you,” Shauna smiled, just a small one. “I’ll clean my office tomorrow.”
“No rush,” Jackie replied, leaning down to kiss the top of her head as she moved the towel to the side. Shauna heard a few things shuffling around and then felt the brush running through her hair slowly. “We’ve got the next few days together. I’d rather get all the Christmas stuff done first, if that’s alright?”
“Of course.”
“Not that, like, we need to immediately be making our way through our errands list either,” Jackie started to ramble, though her hands were still gentle, “I want you to rest up from work first. I just mean that I’d rather gift wrapping and baking be at the top of our priorities right now.”
Shauna couldn’t help but laugh. “Whatever you’d like, honey. But I do like the idea of a day of rest with you first.”
“Good,” Jackie grinned, still brushing her hair out. Shauna’s hair was boyishly short now, it didn’t take this long to brush it and she knew that Jackie was dragging this out. However, not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Shauna simply tilted her head back more and closed her eyes, figuring that Jackie would let her know when she’s had enough.
“I love your hair, Shauna,” Jackie spoke under her breath a couple minutes later, putting the brush down and adjusting Shauna’s hair slightly with her hands, before tapping her shoulders.
Shauna took that as her cue to join Jackie on the couch. “So you’ve said,” Shauna smiled as she stood, “Multiple times before.”
Jackie, still smiling, looked all too pleased with herself as she laid back on the couch, opening her arms up and making space for Shauna to lay down with her, space which Shauna filled quickly. “I know, but especially since you cut it short… I liked your hair long, too, but this is just so you.”
Shauna could feel herself blushing a little under Jackie’s compliments and hands, which were snaking their way under Shauna’s tank to trace light lines across her skin, tickling her unintentionally.
“And I’m so happy you like it,” Jackie continued, “because you were so indecisive about it for the longest time and I was the one who convinced you to do it, and even though I knew it would look good I could only hope that you would actually like it. I hate when you’re not seeing what I see, and I would kick myself for so long if I ever accidentally contributed to… to ever making you feel insecure about something again.”
Shauna tightened her arms around Jackie, hugging her the best they could with how they were lying down, and turned her face into Jackie’s shoulder, knowing that her cheeks would be bright red at this point and also not knowing exactly what to say. “Thanks,” she mumbled into her shoulder, squeezing her tightly one last time before releasing her a little.
“What do you want for dinner tonight?” Jackie asked quietly, her hands still rubbing up and down Shauna’s back comfortingly.
“Umm…” Shauna thought. “We’re not just going to eat the cookies?”
“No,” Jackie smiled and started to urge Shauna up by pushing on her shoulder. “We need proper food.”
“We could just get takeout?” Shauna suggested, sitting up and leaning back on her hands, still trapping Jackie to the couch by her thighs. “Indian?”
“Oh my god, yes.”
Shauna grinned brightly and finally made her way off the couch, immediately extending a hand to Jackie to help her up too.
She retracted her hand quickly though, when she felt a sneeze sneak up on her. She turned around to sneeze into the crook of her elbow, and ended up sneezing twice more before turning around again.
“Bless you,” Jackie laughed slightly, hand on Shauna’s shoulder. “You okay?”
“Ugh, yeah, sorry,” Shauna sniffled, “I don’t know what came over me.”
Jackie hummed and looked at Shauna skeptically as they walked back into the kitchen, but she didn’t say anything more about it.
“Wash your hands, and then you can try a cookie,” Jackie said. She took a swig from the cider bottle she left on the kitchen counter as Shauna walked to the sink, and then watched as Shauna chose a cookie from the wire cooling rack.
“Shit, Jack, these are good,” Shauna spoke with her mouth full, her hand under her mouth to catch any crumbs and genuine surprise lacing her tone.
“Don’t be so surprised, asshole!” Jackie laughed and reached for a hand towel to whip at Shauna.
“Jackie!” Shauna yelped when Jackie actually made pretty strong contact with the back of her calf. “I just wasn’t expecting them to be this good! What did you put in them?”
Jackie half-heartedly tried to hit Shauna one more time before relenting. “There’s sea salt flakes on top. And I used dark chocolate, not milk.”
“So this is a completely new recipe,” Shauna teased, “And you asked me why I was so surprised.”
“Well, you could’ve looked like you had at least some faith that they were going to turn out okay,” Jackie grumbled as Shauna wrapped her up in her arms.
“More than okay,” Shauna kissed her on the cheek, “What do you think you want to order for dinner? I’ll call the place down the block.”
Jackie hummed in thought as she spun in Shauna’s arms until her back was to Shauna’s front, so that she was able to look at the takeaway menu stuck to the front of their fridge.
“What are you getting?” Jackie asked, leaning her head back on Shauna’s shoulder.
“Just butter chicken tonight, I think,” Shauna answered quietly. She could feel Jackie start to turn in surprise, and squeezed her hips quickly to keep her in place. “My throat feels a little scratchy. I don’t want to irritate anything accidentally.”
Shauna couldn’t stop Jackie from turning around again.
Jackie’s eyes were narrowed by the time she was fully facing Shauna, and the back of her hand was against her forehead mere seconds after.
“You don’t have a fever yet…” Jackie mumbled, bringing her other hand up to feel the lymph nodes on either side of Shauna’s neck next. Admittedly, the slight pressure did make Shauna uncomfortable, and it brought awareness to the fact that her lymph nodes may be slightly swollen. “But you could also be developing a cold and not the flu. Go find some medicine. I’ll call the restaurant now and go down to pick dinner up.”
“But-”
“No,” Jackie’s voice was sterner than she’d heard it in a long time. “We are going to prevent you from getting sick during this week off from work as much as we can. I don’t know how you’ve already developed swollen lymph nodes this quickly, but you need to go sit down. After taking medicine.”
Shauna winced slightly. She wasn’t sure if Jackie would’ve been able to tell that her neck was swollen, but she had, and Shauna decided to just bite the bullet and make sure everything was out in the clear.
“I may have walked home in the rain yesterday too,” Shauna said quickly, almost incomprehensibly.
Jackie just stared at her. “What?”
Shauna cleared her throat and began to repeat herself, but Jackie interrupted her before she could finish.
“No, Shauna, I heard, but what the fuck?”
“I showered before you got home, and I guess I kind of, just, forgot about it. It didn’t seem like a big deal…” Shauna tried to explain.
Jackie looked unimpressed, and had moved her hands to her hips at some point during Shauna’s poor excuse.
“I’m sorry,” she added meekly.
Jackie sighed deeply, bringing one hand up to rub at her brow and the other to squeeze Shauna’s shoulder. “No, it’s okay, I’m sorry if I’m being too harsh. I’m just worried. I really don’t want you to get sick.”
“Yeah, me too,” Shauna attempted to laugh.
It got a smile out of Jackie, small and close-lipped, but genuine.
“I know. Go take some medicine. There should be some in the cabinet. If there’s not, call me and I’ll pick some up on my way out,” Jackie said quietly, leaning up to kiss Shauna’s cheek before moving to the door to pick up her keys and wrap her scarf around her neck.
Shauna felt bad, the crease between Jackie’s brows was back and she looked so worried. “Thanks, Jax,” she said, following Jackie to the door and helping her into her coat. “What are you gonna get for dinner?”
“Just samosas, I think,” Jackie answered quickly. “I’ll call them on the way downstairs.”
Shauna wanted to push slightly, to convince Jackie to order some more food for herself for dinner, but she didn’t want to push her luck. She had already stressed Jackie out, she didn’t need to add to that by bringing attention to her eating habits that were… lackluster, at the best of times. The holidays were already hard enough, at least she was ordering something and not just planning to steal a few bites of Shauna’s food, and she baked cookies earlier — a good sign.
“Sounds good,” Shauna smiled, adjusting Jackie’s beanie for her slightly after she pulled it on.
“I’ll see you soon,” Jackie returned the smile, and leant in for one more chaste kiss before heading out into the stairwell.
Shauna waited at the door until she could no longer hear Jackie’s footsteps and her quiet conversation on the phone, and then walked to the bathroom to find some medicine.
—
When Jackie returned to the apartment, plastic takeout bags in one hand and her beanie and scarf she already pulled off in the hallway in the other, she could hear the low chatter of something playing on TV. When she put everything down and kicked her shoes off, she poked her head into the living room and could just barely see a bundle of blankets popping up over the edge of the couch.
Probably Shauna.
She walked into the living room quietly, admiring the scene for just a minute. Jackie loved their apartment, it was cozy and warm and just big enough to have a few friends over regularly, but never big enough to feel empty when it was just her and Shauna.
The room was lit up only by the overhead light flooding in from the kitchen on the left, and the grainy blue light glow of the tv, which Shauna had changed to X-Files. Jackie always got the creepy crawlies whenever she or Van watched that show, and Shauna always tried her best to catch up on it when Jackie was out of the apartment, or at the very least, not in the living room.
Shauna had turned the Christmas tree lights on, primary colours flicking in and out gently, and they were lighting up the room too, but not in any way that actually provided useful light. They were just pretty to look at.
“Hey baby,” Jackie whispered when she finally reached the end of the couch where Shauna’s head was poking out from the blankets she’d laid on top of herself.
“Shit, Jacks, you scared me,” Shauna jumped slightly when Jackie brushed her hand over the top of her head, making Jackie chuckle.
“You didn’t hear me come in?”
Shauna shook her head as she sat up properly. “Too engrossed in this.”
“Engrossed,” Jackie teased. “Come on, brainiac, dinner’s here.”
“What if we just eat on the couch?” Shauna asked, her brown eyes seemingly bigger than usual.
“And make a mess that we’ll have to clean up later?” Jackie countered, raising an eyebrow. She wasn’t going to give into Shauna’s pleading this easily.
“I’ll put it on Gilmore Girls,” Shauna bargained.
Jackie mulled it over, shifting from foot to foot. “Pull out one of the TV trays,” she relented begrudgingly after thinking it over for a few moments.
Shauna smiled, and leaned up over the edge of the couch to kiss Jackie’s cheek.
—
Shauna hadn’t been able to stop sneezing all throughout dinner. She was scared to take a bite in case one snuck up on her again. And Jackie was definitely getting more and more concerned the longer it went on.
Shauna sneezed into the crook of her elbow for the nth time that night.
“Oh my god, Shauna.”
“I can’t help it, Jax,” Shauna retorted, misreading Jackie’s tone.
“Babe,” Jackie soothed, taking both of their dinners and putting them on the coffee table, reaching for Shauna’s hands afterwards. “I’m not mad. Are you feeling okay?”
Shauna blushed slightly under Jackie’s gentle gaze. “Sorry,” she said, allowing Jackie to take her hands but ducking her head so she didn’t have to meet her eyes.
“It’s okay,” Jackie shook her head, but she was still watching Shauna expectedly, looking for an answer.
“I took medicine,” she said quietly, still avoiding eye contact.
Jackie just squeezed her hands.
Shauna sighed and turned to look at the window. “... I feel a little worse than I did before.”
Jackie hummed in recognition. “Are you cold? Hot?”
“A little cold.”
“Come here,” Jackie whispered, opening her arms to Shauna.
“What if I get you sick?” Shauna hesitated, finally looking at Jackie again.
Jackie shook her head again. “Don't care. Plus, I actually got my flu shot.”
Shauna grumbled but made quick work to get comfortable laying down, her head resting on Jackie’s chest so she wasn’t completely flat. They were pretty much done with their dinners anyways, and Jackie had reclined herself against the edge of the couch first.
One of Jackie’s hands made its way to the nape of her neck, and the other wrapped around her waist, holding her securely. She started to run her fingers through Shauna’s hair almost instinctively, absentmindedly detangling small knots. Her fingers were cool against the back of her neck, and Shauna’s surprised to find that it’s relieving even though she feels like she’s cold.
“You’re pretty warm, Shaunie,” Jackie whispered, lips moving against her temple.
“Sorry,” Shauna mumbled, feeling herself slip more and more into a sickness induced, sleep-like trance the more that Jackie touched her.
“Why are you saying sorry?” Jackie laughed raspily. She shifted underneath Shauna, prompting her to let out a whine in discontent.
“I don’t know,” Shauna mumbled again, clinging on tighter to Jackie. “Just feel bad. We’re finally both off work at the same time, and I get sick straight away because I’m scared of needles and didn’t want to spend ten minutes taking a longer walk home to buy an umbrella. I wanted to get home quicker to see you, but now we can’t even do anything fun.”
Shauna felt Jackie’s exhale onto the top of her head, felt the way she nuzzled into her hair and seemed to be unable to decide whether she should smile or frown.
“It’s okay,” Jackie responded gently, “I’ll take care of you. And, hopefully, this is the worst you’ll feel until you get better. I always feel worse at night when I’m sick, and in the morning.”
“You never really get sick though,” Shauna countered quietly.
“Well, I get my-”
“I should’ve gotten my flu shot, I get it,” Shauna couldn’t help but laugh as she lifted herself up onto her elbows, peering down at Jackie.
Jackie smiled up at her warmly, pushed stray hairs back behind Shauna’s ears gently. “Next time, you’re coming with me whether you like it or not. I’ll call in to your work and explain myself if I have to.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“Try me,” Jackie’s eyes narrowed teasingly, but Shauna knew Jackie was serious. To be fair to her, it was not the first time Shauna had gotten sick over winter break and Jackie hadn’t. Shauna liked to blame her dad for that. Despite his leaving, lots of his beliefs and teachings lingered with her, willing or not, including the belief that she should be able to overcome an illness on her own, without the assistance of chemicals.
“I’ll get it next year,” Shauna conceded.
“We’re going to get you one as soon as you’re over this cold,” Jackie started playing with Shauna’s hair again, twirling short strands around her fingers to balance out the slightly firm tone she delivered her sentence with.
“Jackie…” Shauna whined, starting to pout.
“Nope,” Jackie smiled slightly, shaking her head. “Close your eyes. Your pleading isn’t going to work. I love you, and as I said, I’m going to take care of you. So you’re getting your flu shot. But don’t worry about it right now, it’s at least a couple weeks off.”
Shauna still wasn’t happy, but Jackie’s voice was gentle and her hands were gentle and she was tired, and sick, and Jackie was meant to be nice to her right now, not telling her to get a shot. “You’re meant to be nice to me,” she grumbled into Jackie’s shoulder after laying back down on her chest.
Jackie hummed, her hands finding the top of Shauna’s shoulders and kneading gently. “I’m very nice to you.”
Shauna grumbled once more for the sake of it, even as she relaxed under Jackie’s hands. “Could you get my neck too, please?” She asked shyly after a few minutes.
“Of course,” Jackie answered quietly, moving Shauna’s hair out of the way first. “Tell me if I’m being too hard.”
Shauna nodded, and turned her head towards the tv. Commandeering the remote with limited vision and her non-dominant hand, she exited out of the episode they were watching and started flicking through the seasons, looking for a Christmas episode.
They laid there like that for two episodes, watching in a comfortable silence when it was running and talking quietly during the couple adbreaks. Jackie kept her hands on Shauna’s back the whole time, lulling her partner into a half asleep state, pliant under Jackie’s kneading and rubbing.
When the second episode finished, Jackie started to wriggle around underneath Shauna. Shauna lifted herself up slowly, waiting for the feeling of asleep muscles to shake away. “You okay?” she asked as she sat up.
“Gotta pee,” Jackie said quickly, rushing down the hallway as soon as she could.
Shauna couldn’t help but laugh watching her. She paused the starting episode and moved so she was sitting upright properly, noticing forming signs of congestion as she tried to take deep breaths through her nose.
“Shit,” she sighed after her third or fourth attempt, reaching forward to grab a tissue from the box on their coffee table. Jackie walked back into the room right as she was blowing her nose, and Shauna felt her ears warm in embarrassment, as if Jackie hadn’t already seen her in much worse conditions.
Jackie’s hand traced along the back of her shoulders in greeting. “Feeling okay?”
“Congested,” Shauna answered simply, hearing it in her voice now too. “And really tired, actually.”
Jackie pouted ever so slightly. “It is like 8:30, did you want to take another shower and then have an early night? Steam from the shower would help with congestion.”
“Too tired to shower again,” Shauna shook her head and laughed deprecatingly. “I hate being sick.”
“I know,” Jackie soothed, moving to sit down next to her now, her hand running up and down her thigh comfortingly. “How about you get ready for bed and I pull out the steamer at least, though? And then we can stay out here and you won’t have to worry about falling asleep and waking up feeling gross.”
Shauna thought it over. Jackie had a point, and she didn’t mind sleeping on the couch either so as to not get Jackie sick by sleeping in the bed with her.
“I’ll get ready for bed, but don’t bother with the steamer,” Shauna answered, standing up and turning to face Jackie, outstretching her hands to help pull her up. “I’ll just put some vaporub on my chest, if you’re okay with the smell.”
Jackie laughed as she stood up. “That’s fine. I only suggested the steamer because I hated vaporub as a kid.”
Shauna shrugged and held onto Jackie’s hand, starting to tug her down the hallway with her towards the bathroom. “My mom made me use it the second she thought I was getting a runny nose. I got used to it, I think.”
Both of them winced when they entered the bathroom and had to turn the overhead light on, but they made quick work of brushing their teeth, standing hip to hip at the sink together. Shauna pulled her pajama shirt off when she finished, and instantly felt Jackie’s cold hands on her sternum even as she looked through their mirror cabinet for vaporub.
Shauna laughed quietly when Jackie started peppering kisses all over her shoulders.
“I love your shoulders,” Jackie mumbled, “So strong.”
Shauna watched her cheeks turn red in the mirror, watched Jackie’s fingers skate across the top edges of the black tape on her chest and move back up to slightly safer territory.
“Let me do this,” Jackie said quietly all of a sudden, taking the jar of vaporub with Shauna and spinning her around all in the same motion.
Shauna, caught off guard, allowed Jackie to sit her down on top of the closed toilet seat.
“Chin up,” Jackie directed gently as she dipped her fingers into the jar, before smearing the rub across her sternum methodically. “Do you need to change your tape soon?”
Shauna hummed in thought, continuing to look up at the ceiling. “Probably in the next couple days.”
“Let me know if you need help,” Jackie kissed her shoulder lightly.
Shauna reached up to grab Jackie’s free hand, pulling it towards her lips so she could drop a kiss to her knuckles. “I love you.”
Jackie smiled gently, leaving her own kiss on Shauna’s temple. “All done,” she said after one last circle motion, replacing the lid on the jar and washing her hands at the sink.
Shauna stood up and wrapped her arms around Jackie from behind, careful not to let her torso touch Jackie’s back, just in case it took the vaporub off.
“Can I do your skincare routine for you too?” Jackie asked as she turned around in Shauna’s arms, a small, hopeful smile on her lips.
Shauna couldn’t help but smile herself. “I’m getting pampered.”
“You’re being looked after.”
“Of course you can. Thank you,” Shauna said appreciatively, and then sat down on the edge of their bathtub.
“Is that comfy to sit on?” Jackie raised an eyebrow at her as she eyed Shauna through the mirror, pulling out the cleansers and serums she knew Shauna used.
Shauna just shrugged. “Yeah, it’s fine.”
Jackie looked like she didn’t believe her, but when she walked over with her hands full of small bottles Shauna took them from her and placed them next to herself, before moving her hands to Jackie’s waist and maneuvering her so she was sitting on her lap, close enough to straddling Shauna.
“Oh!” Jackie yelped at the quick movement, taken off guard. She quickly settled down though, trusting Shauna’s hold on her.
“Hi,” Shauna smiled up at her bashfully, the top of her cheeks dusted with pink, as if she hadn’t essentially just manhandled Jackie into straddling her.
“Hi,” Jackie giggled girlishly, butterflies filling her stomach the way they always had when Shauna had done things like this when they were kids — whether she was tackling Jackie to the ground during a game of tag, at soccer practice, when Jackie had picked up and ran with her journal; or how she had simply picked Jackie up and moved her out of hazards way the first time she got too drunk; or how she would tug Jackie into any and all bookstores — she loved having Shauna’s hands on her, guiding her, handling her.
“What first?” Shauna asked her, whispering, snaking her arms around Jackie even more, making sure they’re flush against each other.
“Well, it’s your routine I’m doing for you,” Jackie answered quietly. “So really, it should be you telling me what you do first.”
Shauna smiled again, a small, bright thing that made the edges of her eyes crinkle. “I wash with my cleanser twice. That’s the only thing I do consistently every night, you can do anything you want after that.”
Jackie beamed at the thought of having free will over this. She picked up Shauna’s cleanser and shook the bottle as she thought about the things that she could do, taking into consideration how they were sitting, and that Shauna would probably get tired pretty quickly. She’d keep it short tonight, but maybe another time she could convince Shauna to lay down on their bed or the couch and she could try giving her something closer to a facial.
“Okay,” Jackie said cheerily, brushing Shauna’s hair away from her eyes. “Do you have a headband?”
Shauna shook her head.
“How do you keep it out of the way when you wash your face then?”
“I either hold it back with one hand or my hair is wet from the shower so I just slick it back,” Shauna answered quietly.
Jackie blinked, taking this information into account. “Well, you could use mine, or just hold it back right now.”
“Do you have to get up to get yours?”
Jackie nodded.
One of Shauna’s hands left Jackie’s back, and she immediately missed the warmth she didn’t realise it had been providing. “I’ll hold it back.”
Shauna gathered the offending strands underneath her hand and held them back so Jackie could start to wash her face without worrying about it getting in the way.
“Are you sure this is comfortable?” Jackie asked as she rubbed cleanser into Shauna’s face, her fingers moving in gentle circular motions.
Shauna nodded, to Jackie’s alarm.
“Stay still, baby, it’s going to get in your hair,” Jackie urged, putting more force into her fingers so as to hold Shauna’s head still.
“Sorry,” Shauna laughed a little. “But yes, I’m comfortable. You’re light as a feather, love,” Shauna smiled even brighter, her voice laced with a teasing edge displaced by the genuine look in her eyes. “I’d tell you if I needed to move.”
Jackie smiled down at her and kissed her forehead, before moving her fingers up to cover it in the foaming cleanser too. It caught Shauna off guard, and Jackie revelled in how she could feel Shauna’s blush underneath her fingertips.
Jackie was gentle and quick with the rest of the routine, dropping more chaste kisses to Shauna’s forehead, temples, nose, cheeks, whenever she found the chance. The top of Shauna’s ears turned red every time, the corners of her lips ticked upward every time, despite grumbling about how Jackie is basically asking to get sick.
“All done,” Jackie whispered once she was finished, a small smile on her face as she put down the container of moisturiser she had been holding. She moved Shauna’s hand out of the way and began to run both her hands through Shauna’s hair, trying to smooth it down after Shauna had held it back and made it stick up unevenly.
It felt good, and Shauna allowed her head to tip forward until her forehead bumped Jackie’s shoulder, being careful to keep her hold on Jackie even still.
Jackie laughed, but she smoothed her hands down her head one last time before urging Shauna back up.
“Let’s get back to the couch,” Jackie smiled, outstretching her hands for Shauna to take as she stood up.
“I’m tired,” Shauna groaned, standing up and walking out of the bathroom with Jackie nonetheless.
“Which is why we’re going to go lay down on the couch,” Jackie said patiently, glancing over her shoulder to smile at Shauna. “Go sit down, I’m going to get a couple extra pillows for you from the closet.”
Shauna listened to Jackie and carried on to the living room, but basically fell onto the couch once she got there. Jackie walked over a few moments later, placing the pillows she had grabbed onto the edge of the couch and tucking Shauna’s favourite blanket around her before sitting down herself. She lifted Shauna’s head up carefully, and positioned herself underneath her so she could sit down too, with Shauna’s head resting in her lap.
“Lift your head up again, honey, I’ve got a pillow for you,” Jackie said soothingly, one hand resting on Shauna’s shoulder, her thumb sweeping back and forth over warm skin.
“No,” Shauna groaned, turning into Jackie’s thigh. “Don’t need one.”
“It’s going to make your congestion worse if you lay flat like this,” Jackie pushed back lightly, “Lift up.”
Shauna begrudgingly agreed, but once she had laid back down again on the pillow in Jackie’s lap, Jackie rewarded her by resuming running her fingers through her hair.
“Are we going to keep watching?” Shauna asked sleepily, fumbling with the remote as she looked up at Jackie, who was already watching her closely, her eyes flitting between Shauna’s face and the rise and fall of her chest.
“Yeah, of course, if you want,” Jackie answered.
Shauna nodded and put on another episode, flicking through the episodes until she found one she wanted. When she did, she hit play and then almost instantly curled up even more, turning to tuck her face into Jackie’s abdomen.
Jackie laughed lightly. “You don’t want to watch?”
Shauna shook her head, “I just want to listen. It’s comfier to lay this way. And I know what happens anyways.”
“That’s right, you’ve seen this so many times you can probably picture it in your head just from listening to it, huh?” Jackie teased.
Shauna giggled, pushing her face more into Jackie’s stomach and tickling her unintentionally.
“Go to sleep,” Jackie whispered after a few minutes, still running her fingers through Shauna’s brown hair slowly. “I’m right here. I hope you feel better in the morning.”
Shauna was just awake enough to mumble out a response. “Thanks, baby. You feel better too.”
Maybe not all too coherent, but a response nonetheless.
Jackie chuckled, and leant her head back to rest against the back of the couch.
—
The first time Shauna woke up, it took her a moment to adjust to her surroundings.
There was a twinge in her back, but a warm presence underneath her — Jackie. There were no lights shining other than the harsh blue light coming from the tv — it made her cringe, turn over again and shut her eyes quickly when she looked at it directly.
It was then that a coughing fit overcame her, overwhelming her quickly when she realised she was also completely congested and couldn’t breathe through her nose anymore.
She woke Jackie up quickly, regrettably, unable to help how the coughing wracked her body with shakes.
Jackie, understandably, was almost immediately alarmed — as much as one can be when coming out of sleep, at least.
Her voice was gentle as she talked Shauna through the worst of the fit; her hands and body were gentle against Shauna as she supported her from behind and traced absentminded patterns on the top of her knee.
They went back to sleep when Shauna tried to apologise and Jackie made Shauna promise she’d try to remember that Jackie wasn’t, and wouldn’t ever be, mad at her for any of this. Jackie had maneuvered them so that Shauna was sitting up against her chest, propped more upright than she was when she was laying in Jackie’s lap. Jackie could keep a better hold on her too then, and would be able to wake up quicker next time Shauna woke up coughing.
The second time Shauna woke up, she was getting up and walking to the bathroom before she really knew what she was doing.
She bent over the sink, coughing hard, tears pricking at the edges of her eyes from the force.
She’d left the bathroom door open in her haste to get in there, but Jackie still knocked quietly.
Shauna couldn’t even make a sound to apologise, or to complain and whine about being sick, or to ask for help.
“You okay, baby?” Jackie asked blearily, addled yet clearly wanting to help.
Shauna shook her head, coughing some more. Her back and her chest hurt more than her throat did, and the force with which her body kept making her cough was making her tear up, and she couldn’t help but start to cry in frustration.
“It hurts,” she cried, keeping herself upright by pushing down on the edge of the sink.
Jackie engulfed her senses in seconds. She rubbed a warm hand up and down her back, making Shauna aware of the fact that she was cold and shivering. She was whispering sweet reassurances into her ear, her lips and loose flyaways tickling the side of her face.
“You’re cold, honey,” Jackie said quietly, running her hands all over Shauna’s arms and shoulders now too, trying to warm her up. “Let me get you to bed.”
Shauna shook her head stubbornly. “I’m not letting you sleep on the couch,” she said hoarsely.
Shauna watched in real time as Jackie fought to stop herself from frowning at Shauna, knowing that she found Shauna’s stubbornness at this particular moment irritating more than endearing.
“We’ll sort out where we’re sleeping in a bit,” Jackie eventually said, voice still soft, never actually mad at Shauna. “Sit down, though. Let’s clean you up.”
And so Shauna found herself sitting in front of Jackie as Jackie ran a warm washcloth across her face for the second time that night, getting rid of all evidence of the tears that streamed down Shauna’s cheeks. They didn’t take long, Jackie wasn’t redoing her whole routine, and Shauna quickly found herself being led out of the bathroom.
Jackie took them to their bedroom first, but before Shauna could protest again, Jackie told her to grab a hoodie to sleep in. She did, pulling it over her head as she walked back to Jackie, who was waiting in the doorway for her. Jackie took her hand again and pulled her down the hallway, as if Shauna couldn’t figure out where the living room was on her own.
They settled down similarly to before, except with Shauna now extra bundled up — the hoodie, three blankets over her front, Jackie at her back.
“Let me know if you get too hot,” Jackie whispered as she placed a featherlight kiss on Shauna's temple, simultaneously running her fingers through Shauna’s hair to smooth it down and to coax her back into sleep.
Shauna nodded and leaned back into Jackie, hoping to sleep through until morning. Jackie kept up her ministrations, running one hand through Shauna’s hair, and using the other to rub small, comforting circles on her sternum, until Shauna lulled back into sleep.