Chapter Text
There was no reason why he should avoid family gatherings, none at all. Except, of course, that Finrod was always at them, and after what had happened, it was awkward seeing him. Alright, it was more than awkward, Caranthir admitted to himself, it was embarrassing, and he felt shame for how he had treated Finrod. He had allowed his jealousy and insecurity to get the better of him, and he was honest enough to recognise the fault was his and his alone.
If only it didn’t hurt so much, seeing Finrod at family holidays. He’d run into him in town, at times, always in the company of at least two or more admirers, male and female. He had this way of attracting everyone, he couldn’t help it Caranthir knew. Still, it made him angry and resentful to see him with other people, lovers he assumed although he couldn’t be sure. Celegorm told him he was a fool to have broken up with Finrod, who was ”not only hot, he could hold his liquor too”. This, apparently, was enough to put him in Celegorm’s good books.
Caranthir wished he could have talked to Maedhros, who was his favourite brother, but Mae was busy with Fingon and the house they had recently bought together, so he was out. There was always Maglor, but his head was usually in the clouds, and anyway, he wasn’t much use when it came to romantic advice.
After agonising over the breakup for weeks, he ended up confessing his woes to his best friend Haleth, who listened quietly while he poured out all of it; his insecurity, his jealousy, his conviction that Finrod was simply too good for him, his devastation at having hurt his beloved cousin. Boyfriend. Lover. She listened, refraining from offering advice, just held him as he cried and soothed him the way she would a skittish horse, with little crooning sounds and gentle touches to his hair and ears. She didn’t preach, just lent him a handkerchief and made him stay overnight and watch Monty Python and eat ice cream.
Then he came home to the apartment he shared with Curufin and Celegorm, red-eyed and wrung-out after another crying bout, and to his surprise, neither of his brothers mentioned his blotchy face and hoarse voice. Curufin poured him a mug of tea and Celegorm wrapped an arm around his shoulders and squeezed lightly. ”You know you’re an idiot, right? But you’re still my baby brother, even if you’ve messed up... I don’t want you hurting, ok?”
Curufin snorted lightly, but nodded assent. ”You should’ve trusted Ingo”, he said. ”You hurt him with your jealousy. He wouldn’t...” He shrugged.
”How come you know so much about Ingo suddenly?” Caranthir squinted at his younger brother in sudden suspicion.
”I talk to him at times. He’s smart, he’s funny, and he aced the philosophy course I’m taking right now, back when he was a freshman. I needed some pointers.”
Of course, Caranthir thought, it had to be something like that. Curufin wouldn’t care enough about his love life, or him, to talk to Finrod just because of it.
A couple of months went by with Caranthir avoiding most of his cousins like the plague. He still talked to Fingon though, mostly because if he wanted to see Maedhros, chances were good Fingon would be around too. Then came the day Fingon drew him aside and told him he wanted to arrange a surprise party for Maedhros on his birthday. ”All of us cousins of course, and Az has to be invited too! We should gather at our house, hide and jump out at him when he gets home from work. I’ll take care of setting it all up if you make sure your brothers are there. Ingo promised to get the bubbly.” Caranthir felt his stomach drop. Finrod was going to be there? He tried to protest, but Fingon wasn’t having it. ”I know you don’t want to see him, but really Moryo, you’re both grown up. If Ingo is ok with you coming to the party, why should you care? You were the one who broke up with him after all.” Fingon’s gaze was faintly accusing.
He agreed, with a heavy heart, and made sure all his brothers knew about the party, excepting the twins. At sixteen, they were still too young to be trusted around anything containing alcohol. Curufin tried to weasel out of the whole thing, claiming he had to study, but his older brothers joined in persuading him. Maglor guilt-tripped him by mentioning how Maedhros had been almost like an extra father to his younger siblings, Caranthir bribed him with promises of new tech toys and Celegorm grabbed him in a headlock and growled: ”You’re coming, you selfish little shit, or you’re spending the rest of the semester in a cast. Arm or leg, your choice.”
Unsurprisingly, Curufin agreed to come to the party.
When the day came, the four of them went over to Maedhros’ and Fingon’s house just after dusk. Fingon was busy digging out as many glasses and mugs as he could find, while Finrod carried in an entire box of cava bottles. Most of the Finwean cousins were there, excepting Argon and the twins, who were too young. Azaghâl, Maedhros’ best friend from university, was there, as were Rúmil and Pengolodh, who both worked part-time at the library.
They turned off the lights in the living room and waited for Maedhros to come home from work. Turgon started on the snacks Artanis had laid out on a table and Celegorm cracked a beer can open and took a few swigs from it, and then Fingon hissed: ”He’s coming – heads down everyone and quiet!” They heard a key in the lock and heavy steps in the hallway and some rustling. Then the lights went on in the living room and they all sprang into action: ”SURPRISE!!!”
It was quite amusing, Caranthir thought, to see his oldest brother shrink back before the Finwean attack. Azaghâl pounded Maedhros on the back and teased him about forgetfulness – as it happened, Az was a whole six months younger than his friend. The brothers took turns in hugging their redheaded sibling, Caranthir with one arm in a rather awkward embrace. He stepped back, just to realise Finrod was regarding him steadily, with one eyebrow raised. And there went the blush again, he thought desperately. Why was he afflicted with this horrible thing? He scowled, trying to get his rising colour under control, to no avail.
Finrod and Aredhel opened the first bottle and started pouring cava. They passed out mugs and glasses to everyone present, and Caranthir shivered at Finrod’s fingers lightly touching his when he gave him a glass. He blushed again, even hotter this time. Finrod gave him a brief smile and then toasted the birthday boy in a few short, witty sentences. Everybody tossed down their first drink and then joined Maglor in an Irish drinking song, as Finrod quickly refilled all drinking vessels and popped the cork on bottle number two.
Half an hour later, Caranthir was beginning to feel a little mellow. To be honest, he was probably more than a bit tipsy, still not drunk by any means, but enough to feel less awkward around his ex. Finrod seemed to feel the same way, because he’d seated himself on the couch right next to him, and for every glass he downed, he somehow wound up closer and closer, until he was practically draped across Caranthir’s lap. He didn’t mind that one bit, but he still felt they needed to talk. He said as much to Finrod, who climbed to his feet and pulled him along, out of the living room and into the kitchen.
”You said talk. So talk.” Finrod gave him a strange look, one he thought he recognised. It was the one he had when he was scared, but determined to follow through on something.
Caranthir sighed and leaned against the kitchen counter, wishing he’d brought his glass because his mouth was suddenly dry. ”I... dammit Ingo, I’m sorry, ok? Sorry for being such a jealous, stupid asshole, sorry for not trusting you, sorry for hurting you, sorry for everything!”
”Sorry for breaking up with me?”
”Yes, damn you, I love you, I never should... mmpff!” Finrod’s mouth silenced him then, as he suddenly lunged at him, pressing him against the counter, lips, teeth and tongue devouring his mouth like he was starving and Caranthir was a gourmet dinner.
His arms went around Finrod’s slender waist, pulling him even closer, hands moving over his back and down to his buttocks. Finrod groaned softly and nipped his bottom lip, then bit his ear savagely. Caranthir felt like his entire body was on fire. ”Ingo... Ingo...” he moaned loudly, making the blonde growl and force his thighs apart, settling himself between them.
”Ingo, where’s the rest of the... oh, I’m sorry”, came Artanis’ gasp from the kitchen door. They both turned and glared at her, and she fled, cheeks red but eyes glimmering with hidden amusement.
Finrod turned back towards Caranthir, put his hands lightly on his shoulders and breathed deeply. ”That was probably all for the best”, he commented. ”I want to take you home, and this isn’t the right time, it’s Nelyo’s party and we should try and restrain ourselves a little.”
Caranthir pouted, but knew he was right. ”Yeah yeah, but I’ll hold you to it later then.”
”I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Finrod’s smile was suddenly dangerous, and he’d never been more beautiful in Caranthir’s eyes.
This birthday party really needed to end soon.