Chapter Text
When Lele woke up the next day, he found himself on the bed. Papa has left, probably making breakfast in the kitchen. Lele just groaned and hugged his wolf plushie closer. His head felt heavy. His body felt uncomfortable. It was hard to open his eyes, the light stung his eyes.
He remembered what happened the night before, Papa and Father Wenland promised him they would never leave Lele. It was nice to hear, although Lele knew good things were never meant to last. As long as he could have it, Lele should be thankful for it.
Lele crawled down the bed and put Mr. Wolf on his side. He went out of the room and he heard his Papa call out to him, “Lele, go and wash up, breakfast is ready!”
Lele climbed the little plastic chair in front of the washbasin and took his little toothbrush, put a pea sized toothpaste on it and started to brush his teeth. He saw himself in front of the mirror while doing it. His hair was sticking all over the place, his eyes looked a bit puffy. But the thing that Lele noticed the most was how similar his face was to Uncle–No, Father Wenlang.
So Father Wenlang is his father all along. Why did he not live with them? Lele thought back to his classmates who mostly have two parents. Two of them were similar to Lele, having only one parent; but the majority of his classmates have two. And they are often fetched by either parents. They also told Lele that having two parents is normal, while only having one was not. The funny thing was, most of the kids with two parents cried a lot when their parents left the compound; making Lele wonder if he was supposed to cry too? But if he cried, who would come?
At first he thought he was left there and no one would get him. It made him sad and cried. But Lele learned that someone would fetch him in the afternoon, so he wasn’t forgotten or left behind, just put in the kindergarten because the adults just needed time away from Lele for a few hours. So the next day, Lele grit his teeth and focused on the colourful blocks. He just kept his silence until it was the time to leave, which usually meant he was the only one left in the kindergarten. His teachers were kind to him, usually they gave him some snacks or juice boxes while he waited for anyone to fetch him.
Usually Uncle Ma Heng and Aunt Gao Qing dropped and fetched Lele from kindergarten, which made his classmates ask whether Uncle Ma Heng was his other parents. Lele never thought it was a problem, but when he asked Papa, Papa told Lele to not answer the question. Because Lele only has Papa, while Aunt and Uncle didn’t count. But Papa also dropped and fetched Lele too, and every time it happened, Lele felt the happiest. He got to walk home with Papa. He wanted Papa to be the only one dropping and fetching him everyday; alas Papa often was sick and unable to do it. Lele likes his Aunt and Uncle too, so he didn’t mind too much. As long as someone actually fetches him from the kindergarten and does not forget about Lele.
Lele’s head hurt and he spitted out the foams. It tasted like oranges, albeit a bit more bitter than real oranges. He wanted to not brush his teeth, but Papa usually would know and scold him for not brushing his teeth properly. So Lele complied with Papa’s wish every time. Lele believes as long as he makes as little trouble as he can, Papa will be healthier and would spend more time with Lele.
He went and changed his clothes to the one Papa already put on the sofa, expertly pushing his legs into the pants hole. Lele was proud of himself because he could dress himself already; many of his classmates couldn’t and always required the teachers’ help. He could even put the right buttons to the right holes, which Papa praised him for. Lele didn’t want to burden Papa too much, so he had learned how to do it from Aunt Gao Qing and Uncle Ma Heng.
When he reached the table, he saw Uncle-no, Father Wenlang was sitting on the table as well, busy with his phone while Papa was putting two plates of eggs on the table. “Come Lele, you need to eat before you go.”
Lele silently climbed onto the chair, using his plastic fork to tab the egg and put it into his mouth. It was a bit salty, and Lele felt weird because it was hard to swallow. He just pushed it down with the milk in his plastic cup.
“I will take you to kindergarten, Lele.” Father Wenlang smiled at him. “And this afternoon, we can go to play together. Do you want to go anywhere specific? Or do you want anything?”
Lele pondered on the question. His head felt heavier than usual, and the question hurt his head. Honestly he didn’t want to go anywhere, he just wanted to sleep. But he couldn’t. Adults needed their time away from Lele. He cannot ask them for more. “Can we go to the shop? I want strawberries.”
Father Wenlang chuckled, “Anything else?”
“Can I drive your car?” Lele asked innocently. He could dress himself already, so he should be able to drive the car so Papa doesn't need to walk anymore. In that way, Papa could come out and play with Lele outside.
Father Wenlang and Papa laughed. “I think maybe you need to wait another seventeen years to do that, buddy.”
Lele scrunched his face. That was too long. Lele could dress himself already, driving a car should be the next step. Then he asked again, timidly, “... Can Papa come with us?”
Both Papa and Father Wenlang stopped laughing. Lele felt like he had asked for trouble. He immediately shook his head. “Sorry. I don't mean that. Let’s go?” He knew that he was asking too much. He should have known better.
“Yes, Lele.” Papa suddenly answered. “I will come with both of you. Let’s go shopping together? Maybe we can have dinner out too?”
Lele brightened. His head stopped hurting. “Really? Really, Papa? Can we?”
Papa smiled at him, “Yes, Lele. let’s have a day out today.”
Lele smiled so widely his mouth hurts. “Thank you! Yes Please! Thank yoU!”
Lele was very excited. He just needed to wait until the end of kindergarten time, then Papa and Father Wenlang would come and fetch him. They would go shopping and eat together outside! It’s gonna be very fun for sure! Lele couldn’t wait, he wanted to go now if he could, but of course he was a good kid, and a good kid will wait until good things come for him.
By lunch time,the excitement had slowed down and his head got heavier. His body felt uncomfortable, and he shivered despite wearing his soft blue jumper. He was wearing his beloved jumper, the one which had holes underneath the armpits, but Lele loves it so much because Papa got it for him. They bought it together in a shop and papa let Lele choose.
When the teacher all lined them up into the makeshift futon, Lele slipped into the blanket quietly and closed his eyes. His head hurt now and his eyes were heavy. His body felt very uncomfortable, but he needed to just hang in there. Today he would have outings with Papa and Lele could handle this.
His body felt cold and he shivered. He huddled into himself closer and wished his head stopped hurting. His jumper was not as warm anymore, getting thinner due to repeated wash. Just a bit more, hang in there, Lele.
He would wake up soon, and Papa and Father Wenlang would be there and they would go shopping together. Lele hoped they would eat in local fast food joints where lele could get his beloved chicken nuggets and Apple juice.
Lele closed his eyes and everything stopped hurting.
When he finally woke up, it felt like he had been sleeping for a long time.
Lele tried to rub his eyes, they were crusty and heavy. But some tubes and pinched pain made him realize he was not in the kindergarten anymore. He saw his hand attached to the painful needle he hated. Lele was familiar with that needle. He sometimes needed it when he was sick, but as often as Papa.
He was in a big white room with a big bed and bright light. Where was he?
The door opened and Papa walked in. He looked thinner.
“..Paa?” Lele called out, but his voice was so weird sounding.
“Lele! Oh my baby!” Papa almost screamed and rushed towards him. Lele was hugged tightly the next moment, and while he enjoyed being hugged by his Papa always, his head was still heavy.
“P..Papa?” Lele asked. “Whe…re?”
“You are in the hospital, sweetheart.” Papa cried while kissing Lele’s face. “How do you feel?”
Lele actually felt much better, now that he thought about it. “I ..m good, Pa.”
“I am glad you feel better.” His Papa sat beside the bed.
Lele then remembered, “..shopping toget..her now?”
His Papa looked sad and patted his hair. “Papa is sorry, Lele. Let’s go together after you feel better, shall we?” Papa kissed his forehead and cheeks. Then Father Wenlang entered the room, bringing with him a lot of food. He looked tired too, but he cheered up when he saw Lele was awake.
Lele didn’t understand why, but when he saw Father Wenlang, he started to have this sudden urge to go out, despite Papa telling him they will go shopping as soon as Lele feels better. Lele felt like he was better now, so they could go right now, right?
“Let’s go? Shopping now?” Lele asked louder, “Let’s go now?”
“Lele, you still need to rest,” Papa calmly explained, holding Lele’s hand. “Let’s wait till you are healthy, alright?”
“But when? You promise we will go! Now I am fine, you are here, so we can go? Please?”
“Lele, you are still not alright. You have been sleeping for the past two days.” Father Wenlang answered gently. That made Lele even more agitated. Two days? Which means he has skipped the outings? Now that two days have passed, they won’t bring Lele for outings? Was it because Lele slept too long? Were they refusing to bring him out because Lele’s being bad?
“I am sorry I slept too long, but now I am ok! I can go! Let’s go! Let’s go shopping and eat? Papa, please?”
“Lele, you are still sick.” Papa explained again to him, “Look, you still have needles…”
Lele looked down on the hand with the needle, and he felt this surge of anger. He grabbed the blue cover, trying to rip it off his hand. It pinched his hand and he moaned in pain, but Lele kept pulling the blue tighter bandage.
Papa took his hands. “Lele, stop! Don’t rip them!”
“I am fine, Papa, look!” Lele tried to reason. “Let’s go out? I am fine! I can go! Let’s go!”
“Lele, we can go after you feel better, ok?” Father Wenlang sat on the other side of his bed. “I promise.”
“NO! LET’S GO NOW!” Lele started screaming. “LET'S GO NOW!”
“Lele!” Papa snapped. Lele started to cry and screamed. He had never screamed at his Papa in his life, but this time, it felt like he was exploding. He wanted to go now! He wasn’t sick! He wanted to go, otherwise Papa wouldn't give him time and go out together. Lele was sleeping too long, and now they won’t go out. He wanted to go out together now, because if they don’t, Lele would never get his outings.
He had bad memories about cancelled outings. Papa promised to go with him, but something came and they ended up not going. Or Uncle Ma Heng will take Lele instead, so it wasn't an outing with Papa. All Lele wanted was to have an outing with Papa.
“YOU PROMISED!” Lele screamed with tears. “YOU PROMISED!”
Father Wenlang suddenly caught both of Lele’s hands in his, and then forced Lele to look at him. “Lele, calm down.”
“NO! YOU PROMISED! LET’S GO!”
“Lele. I won't let you go until you calm down and can speak without screaming.” Father Wenlang sternly scolded Lele, but Lele also noticed the nice Iris scent slowly enveloping him.
“I.. I AM so..sorry, but you promised we will go! I am sorry I slept too much! I am good now, so please let’s go? I want to go out with you, please, please, please…” Lele sobbed. His chest hurt and his heart thumped loudly in his head. “I am sorry I was bad, please don’t hate me..”
Slowly Lele calmed down, especially with the combination of Iris and Sage scent enveloping him from both Papa and Father Wenlang. As he got sleepier, Father Wenlang let go of his hands and slowly patted his hair.
“We will go out when you get better, Lele. I promise you. And you are never bad, you are always a good kid. Do you know you have been sleeping for two days because you were sick? You just woke up, and you still need rest. Even if we go out now, you will get sicker and won’t enjoy the outings.”
“B..But… you won’t take me out because I am bad, because I become trouble…” Lele sobbed. “I am not sick, I really want to go out together. I want to go out with Papa, I am sorry, don't leave …”
“You are not a trouble, Lele. You are a good boy who cares too much about me.” Papa whispered, and kissed Lele’s hand. “I will never leave you. I promise we will go out when you are better and not sick anymore.”
“... You promise?” Lele whispered. “No cancel?”
Papa nodded and kissed Lele’s hand again. “I promise.”
Lele bit his lips. “... Okay.” He wasn’t sure whether he would get his outings, but Papa promised him he would. Lele decided to trust Papa. “I… I am sorry for screaming.”
“It’s ok, you were sad because you thought you won’t go out together.” Father Wenlang answered gently. “We promise we will go on outings as much as you want, after you recover. And we won’t leave you, because you are not a burden. You are our precious pup. Your Papa and I will always be with you.”
With the assurance from both adults, Lele slowly closed his eyes and went back to sleep.
Shen Wenlang slowly let go of his sleeping son’s hand and went to the other side of the bed to hug Gao Tu. Gao Tu sighed and surrendered himself into Wenlang’s arms. Their soothing pheromones swirl together, filling the exclusive VIP pediatric room with comforting Iris and Sage.
They were shocked to be called that day, finding out Lele fainted in his sleep. His temperature was sky high, and his heartbeat slowed too low. Fearing the worst, they immediately admitted their son to the hospital. The doctor diagnosed the boy with hormone shock worsening with pneumonia.
Gao Tu explained that since Lele was born with lacking pheromones from his Alpha parents and Gao Tu’s own inability to produce pheromones needed, Lele’s immune system was much lower than other kids his age. Lele has been in and out of hospital for the first two years of his life, and just slowly getting healthier for the past year.
They also deduced that Lele was still shocked from the sudden change of Wenlang being there. The boy was not adapting well. And now, seeing how their son threw his (almost) first tantrum because he was afraid they wouldn’t bring him out together, despite being sick and needing IV, was painful for both parents. Gao Tu could see clearly how his lacking parental skill and depression had affected his son. Gao Tu could see that Lele was always in fear of abandonment, forcing himself to be strong and accommodating just to ensure Gao Tu would still want him. Meanwhile Wenlang also saw how hard Gao Tu and Lele have been struggling, which was all his fault for causing all this situation in the first place.
They were still learning, but seeing their pup cried so much because he was afraid they’d leave him hurt.
Wenlang finally took the decision and asked softly, “... A’Tu, will you move back to Jianghu with me? We can get access to a better hospital for both you and Lele. We can also put Lele in Peanut’s school, so he will not be lonely. I can afford to support you both, you just need to stay home and improve your health while also being with Lele. He… he needs you the most right now.”
Gao Tu didn’t answer, but slowly he nodded and hid himself in Wenlang's warm embrace. He saw how Wenlang managed to calm Lele down. But he also noticed how Lele only cared about Gao Tu’s promise. Because it was clear Lele was not really ready to accept another adult in his life when he couldn’t even get security from his first one. Also Gao Tu already noted how Lele was the first to arrive and the last to go from the kindergarten, and despite that, he has no relationship with any other children or his teachers there. Lele was a loner who waited and played alone. It wouldn’t be too cruel to uproot him, and maybe the extrovert Peanut could help Lele come out of his shell.
The move would be good for all of them. It wasn’t fair to Lele and Wenlang to wait just for Gao Tu, and Gao Tu wanted for both of them to be happy. Yes. He needed to swallow his fear and let Wenlang in.
“Let’s move next week, when Lele feels better.”