Chapter Text
“And then what did you say?” It was the next day, Aditi was in school and Jesper was on the edge of the couch in Wylan’s office as Osbert painted on the sofa across from him. Wylan was trying to do as much work as he could with Jesper drilling Osbert on the conversation he had with Jan.
“I asked if you killed the boy and he said yes with a bullet to the heart.” Osbert said back with a small smile.
“Ha! Baby did you hear that? Jan brought up Kuwei.”
“Mmm maybe you should write to him and tell him about it.” Wylan hummed sarcastically from his desk with a hand on his forehead.. He loved Thursday and Fridays because he loved trying to work from home but the keyword was trying.
“Oh! He also tried to say that you don’t love father and it is all a part of your plan to steal his wealth.” Osbert put his painting down now to get into the conversation. Whispering as though Jan would appear out of nowhere.
“Is that not what’s happening?” Wylan asked in all seriousness, still looking at his papers. It wasn’t until Jesper gave out a contagious laugh when Wylan let out his own small laugh.
“How did you know he was lying?” Jesper asked, leaning back on the couch now. He loves telling stories but he has to admit, not knowing what will happen in one is very fun.
“You could force a caveman to live with us for a day and even they would know how weird you are about each other.” Osbert made a grossed out face.
“Osbert you are going to find someone who you are just as weird about.” Wylan said, his focus back on work.
“Yeah ok.” Osbert did not believe him for a second.
“What made you realize he was lying in general?” Jesper asked.
“He talked about Wylan standing up in the crowd and blaming him and It made me realize he was the Villain you used to talk about in stories…. Which by the way, you couldn’t give him a better name than ‘The Evil Villain?"
“What name would you have picked for him? In my defense he is evil.” Jesper said with his hands up.
“Well I don’t know, a cooler name? Like Evil Mercher Mastermind or something fun.”
“That is Objectively an even worse name–.” Jesper tried to argue.
“Look, we know now that we should have just said Jan and been honest but also you try telling a four year old that their grandfather tried killing their father.” Wylan cut in.
“Hey I’m not trying to get attacked here, I just thought we could have been a little bit more creative is all.” Osbert smiled.
He thought about the other name his parents didn’t tell him about. He wasn’t mad, but very curious. The laughter died down and Osbert debated on if he should ask or not. He knows if he doesn’t then he’d always be wondering.
“He brought up Dirtyhands too.” Osbert said carefully.
“Yeah? What did he say?” Jesper asked, trying and failing to be as nonchalant as possible. Wylan shot his head up from his work now. Osbert just looked at him as if to say he knew. Jesper sucked in a breath. He continued, not addressing the elephant in the room.
“He said that he helped Wylan trick him. And that he came up with the plans. And he duped Jan of his money and helped get him in prison. We wouldn’t have any of this without him, is what I gathered.”
Jesper nodded slowly. Jesper wasn’t really scared of his son's reaction but he understands if Osbert was going to be mad. Wylan was looking at Jesper but Jesper was looking at Osbert. Trying to gauge a reaction from him. There was a little bit of silence.
And Osbert should be mad at him and Wylan and Kaz and Inej and seemingly all of the adults in his life for not being 100% truthful. But this trip has put a lot of things in perspective for him. Osbert didn’t speak and began drawing again, he just wanted to let them know that he knew.
“You know how the barrel stories started right?” Jesper asked and Osbert nodded, he’s told him before. He spent his first years of life in the barrel. He doesn’t remember it anymore but his parents said he used to wake from nightmares. He couldn’t sleep in the dark, hardly trusted anyone and he was only four. Osbert was so scared and angry all the time as a kid.
Jesper took his fear and turned it into something he could look forward to every night. The barrel stories. Turning a scary, lonely, ugly place into a place filled with adventure and planning and romance and fun. The dark was no longer frightening, he didn’t have time to be on edge when he was too tired from staying up to ask Jesper more questions about his time there. Wylan was no longer working, he walked from his desk and sat by Jesper on the couch. This was a conversation he should probably be a part of. He tucked his feet in and put his elbow on Jesper's shoulder.
“They helped you a lot as a kid.” Jesper continued. “But Kaz helped more.”
Osbert sighed and thought for a moment. Some of his earliest memories were of Kaz coming over and sitting with him in silence when Osbert didn’t want to talk to anyone. Kaz has always understood him and he always understood Kaz and he never knew why until now.
“He loves you, he loved how safe you felt with him. He didn’t mind the barrel stories, I mean he certainly doesn’t love them but he knew how much you did. He didn’t want your opinion on him to be based on who he used to be. So I promised him I wouldn’t tell you or Adi. None of your cousins know either. Not even Jordie.” He took in his da’s words. Osbert loves his uncle, Dirtyhands wasn’t going to change that. They seemed to be waiting for his response.
“Well I think the most shocking part is… I had figured Kaz couldn’t get any cooler.” Osbert whispered, breaking the tension.
Osbert and Kaz understood each other. Osbert was born in the barrel and so was Dirtyhands in a way, if anything this would make them closer. Jesper gave his son a soft smile and Wylan let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
“I just don’t understand, not even Jordie knows?” Inej and Kaz’s eight year old daughter. They are so open with one another he had figured they’d have told her. Jesper shrugged.
“No, It’s not my place to tell, and Osbert… it’s not yours either.” Osbert nodded. His da wanted him to keep the secret.
“Isn’t it your place to tell Aditi?” He asked. Wylan spoke.
“We’ll tell her when she’s a little older.” He said looking at Jepser who gave him a little nod, he continued. “The issue is, we can’t until Kaz or Inej tell Jordie. Adi is far too close to her to keep a secret like that.” That made sense.
“Can I tell Kaz I know?” Jesper thought for a moment.
“Yes you can write to him but you have to tell him how you found out, if he thinks I told you he’ll be so mad at me.” Jesper urged.
“He can’t be mad at you… I thought you were his right hand gunslinger.” Osbert teased Jesper. He has always loved the stories but he was going to be even more interested in them now that he knows about Kaz.
“Oh he can be mad at me, he has been many times before.” Jesper said back with a smile. “But brothers fight.” He shrugged.
It did feel quite good to not have to lie to at least one of his kids. Wylan’s hand went to the back of Jesper’s head in a casual touch and Jesper turned to him and gave him a quick kiss. Osbert smiled and continued to sketch on his canvas.
“I do have another question. This one is a little more important.”
“What’s that?” Jesper asked, his parents focusing their attention back on him once more.
“Well.” Osbert stopped sketching and looked off to space as he thought of how to word this.“While I was talking to Jan I noticed that he had very little to no hair. And the hair he did have, it didn’t start until about…” Osbert focused on his parents again as he pointed to the middle of his head. “Right here.”
“Mmmm” Jesper hummed. He put both of his pointer fingers to his mouth as if this was the most important conversation in the world.
“And father I mean…” Osbert motioned to Wylan with his full head of ginger hair. Wylan nodded along.
“You’re nearly forty, I feel like… I mean, wouldn't your hairline be receding by now?” Jesper let out a snort before leveling his features back to fake seriousness. Like Osbert was posing an interesting philosophical question.
“Yeah I mean good question.” Wylan thought about it for a moment, also keeping the smile down. Osbert couldn’t so he just covered his mouth with the palm of his hand. His eyes gave way to his amusement.
“Genetics are weird like that.” Wylan shrugged.
“Genetics are weird.” Jesper repeated in agreement but he was shaking his head no. He mouthed something to him that Osbert couldn’t quite catch. Jesper stopped mouthing it and his head stilled once Wylan turned to face him with a dead pan expression before turning back to look at Osbert again.
“Thank the saints that my hair gene came from my mom.” Wylan continued.
“Yes, thank the saints and thank Marya for Wylan’s curly ginger hair. And right now, you are looking at the product of natural aging.” Jesper agreed with a smile as he began gently messing with some of Wylan’s curls. He continued to try and mouth something to Osbert and Osbert was squinting, trying to read his lips. Jesper stopped again when Wylan turned to him, not missing the sarcasticness in his tone.
“I’m sorry, can I help you with something?”
“Nothing, sunshine, I’m agreeing with you.” Jesper said quickly, keeping his smile down.
“Ok.” Wylan nodded, he stayed looking at Jesper suspiciously for a good while before finally turning back to Osbert. “So yeah I guess it’s as simple as–”
“Osbert, it's a tailor–.” Jepser let out and Wylan moved to his knees so he could have the advantage of height as long as Jesper was sitting down. His hands shot up to cover Jesper’s mouth, nearly climbing on top of him in an attempt to get him to stop talking. Jesper kept moving his hand away to try and speak.
“He began going at thirty because his hair began thinning and–” Wylan finally managed to cover his mouth. But Osbert was still able to make out his mumbled words.
“He’s paying someone! He goes at least once a year!”
“Are we being serious?” Osbert asked, looking at his father with his mouth slightly agape.
“Osbert don’t listen to him.” Wylan said, keeping his own smile down.
“No! Wylan secrets are tearing this family apart! You can’t silence me anymore!” Jesper yelled in amusement, trying to move his hands away from his mouth. Wylan began laughing, it was all fun and games until Jesper licked his hand.
“Gross Jes.” Wylan pulled back to wipe his hand on his pants.
“Oh I’m sorry, it’s my tongue! You–”
“I’m here! I am here still.” Osbert interrupted with a nod, looking back down at his canvas. He shouldn’t have asked. Jesper laughed at his son’s reminder. Wylan stood up, he tried to look annoyed but that wasn’t even a possibility. His voice was as hard as it could be.
“I have to get back to work.” Jesper nodded, the corners of his lips raising slightly as he looked at Wylan.
“You do.” He said back, stretching his arms on the top of the couch.
“And you do too, you’re not being a very good assistant. You’ve been messing around and you only have to work two out of the five days. Osbert vouch for me.”
“I’m not a part of this.”
“Smart boy.” Jesper said, his eyes still on Wylan.
Wylan gave up on trying to level his expression as he turned to walk back to his desk. Jesper looked at Osbert and put one finger to his own lips, signaling Osbert to be quiet as if he was making any noise at all in this entire conversation. Jesper was suddenly up and in two long strides he met Wylan before he made it to his desk. His arms wrapped around Wylan’s torso and he lifted him slightly from behind. Wylan let out a surprised laugh.
Osbert looked at his parents for a moment before slouching down on the couch and continuing to draw. Blessed indeed.