Chapter Text
It had been said that Trinity had a big ego. It wasn’t necessarily true. Not in her very insecure heart. But, for once, Trinity felt that big ego. She felt the ground feeling the impact of her walk.
Especially as she made her way over to Dr. Langdon. Out of all the residents, Trinity felt confident in Langdon. It was hard to put her finger on what it was exactly, but he just felt like her. Or like he would get her. Trinity wasn’t an easy person to get, as it had been said so many times, but Langdon felt like he had her same spirit. The same stubborn way to life.
“Can I present my headache to you?” Trinity asked with a smugness that, for a rare time, felt genuine. There was a small nudge of anxiety, but she focused on her excitement instead.
“Uh, yeah,” Langdon said, turning his attention to her. “What do you got?”
“A 36-year-old woman with severe headache due to paracervical trigger point,” Trinity started explaining. “Her pain went from 11 to zero after 2 CCs of IM Marcaine to the--”
“Wait, wait, wait,” Langdon said. Stopping Trinity dead in place, the rest of her sentence slipping away with the wind. “You did a trigger point injection before presenting the case?”
“Yeah,” Trinity started to explain. She knew she wasn’t technically meant to do that herself, but she was confident in her abilities. She knew it was the correct step in the patient’s recovery. And, more than anything, it had worked!
“Interns always present first.” Langdon’s voice was stern, like a dad Trinity had never had, lecturing her over a wrong doing. Except it wasn’t the wrong move.
“I spent a month at the pain clinic at Hopkins.”
Langdon scoffed, in a way that implied a month wasn’t sufficient. “No. It’s not okay.”
The ER was too hectic for conversations, Trinity was learning. A medic was rushing towards them.
“I’m very comfortable with--”
“It’s definitely not okay.”
And then Langdon, who she had hoped could be a mentor to her, was gone. Technically, there was still a chance. He would see that she was just eager, just sure of herself. But the disappointment swirled around with her trauma, making her skin feel like it was bleeding.
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The disappointment washed up inside of her once again as Langdon passed off a crike -- her crike! -- to Dr. King. She had nothing against Mel, of course. She seemed like a sweet girl and all. But that should have been Trinity’s opportunity to prove herself. Not only to Langdon, but also to her attending and the admittedly very pretty doctor from surgery.
“You’ve already had a busy morning,” is what Langdon had said. Those were the words that really crushed her spirit the most.
It was only 8 AM, and she had already messed up. Big time.
Trinity was more a self-punisher than self-rewarder, but she still felt the pride of the trigger point injection. And after royalling screwing up with Langdon, she had to cling to something. Anything, really, to keep herself afloat.
With Mel handling the crike, Trinity was able to slip out to her locker. A moment of peace as she undid the combo and went looking for her treat. The shiny metal of the Redbull made her feel the electric energy spike she was about to receive. And the liquid tasted even sweeter against her tongue.
Trinity hadn’t expected to need the extra energy this early in the day, but it would certainly help her get through the 12 hour shift that loomed over the day.
There wasn’t much to look at down this hallway, so Trinity focused on her locker as she sipped her drink. She thought about the lack of any decorations. And, if she let herself get a little hopeful, how she might be able to decorate it in time.
Through her rotations, she hadn’t stayed anywhere long enough to make her locker feel like her own. But maybe this time she would be staying. The other doctors seemed nice, and she could see herself fitting in with the flow of how this whole operation worked. Maybe she could turn things around with Langdon and her attending, Dr. Robby. They probably just had high expectations. Ones she could meet. The way she always had with her adoptive parents.
It was never enough for them. But therapy had taught Trinity those expectations were unrealistic. These ones would be manageable, ones that she could actually meet.
Maybe she could even make friends here at The Pitt. And, maybe, she could fill her locker with photos of them. Along with the playbills she collected and the stickers she picked out every time she went to the bookstore.
Maybe the very hot doctor from surgery could be in some of the photos. Maybe it was premature to have a crush. Definitely was, actually. It was only her first day. But this was Trinity’s 5 minutes to get her brain back in a better place. So she let herself fantasize for a bit, and made it a mission to get this doctor’s number.
Trinity could feel it in her bones. This was a new start.
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
Trinity was rejoining the chaos as Dr. Robby, her attending, stopped her in her tracks. Fuck, her mind screeched out. This was probably going to be about her crossing the line with the trigger point.
She steeled herself off, preparing for another fatherly lecture from someone who had no right to talk to her that way.
“Next crike we get, I’m finding you,” Dr. Robby said instead. And -- what the fuck? That was nowhere near what she thought he was going to say.
“Oh!” Trinity couldn’t help the shock that was on her face and in her voice. “Thank you, I really appreciate that Dr. Robby--”
“Just Robby is fine!”
“Right. Robby. Thanks. Seriously.”
“No problem.” Robby, not doctor apparently, gave her a gentle smile. Not a passive aggressive smile like her adoptive parents, nor was it a pity smile like the ones she got from social workers. It was soft and genuine.
It meant a whole fuck of a lot to her. But Trinity couldn’t cry at work. Not this early in the day, at the very least.
So Trinity tried to push past him. Tried to escape this weird conversation.
“Hey, one small thing,” Robby said. Trinity turned back to him, preparing once again for a conversation about what she had done earlier. Waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Trinity could feel the Redbull liquid fighting its way back up her throat. She hadn’t even gotten to finish it first--
“No drinks on the floor! Dana will have both of our asses.”
Oh. Robby’s voice was gentle still. Maybe an edge of amusement. But no anger.
Trinity’s brain was having trouble catching up, so all she could do was nod along.
“Frank, uh, Dr. Langdon,” Robby continued, correcting himself to use the other man’s proper name. Interesting. “He loves Redbull too. So be careful leaving it with at the nurse’s station.”
“Good to know. Thanks, Robby.”
This conversation was so weird.
“Always, Dr. Santos!” Robby said, with another genuine smile. “You can leave it at my desk if you want.”
And getting weirder. Trinity had to leave. Now.
“Great. Thanks,” Trinity mumbled out, heading back to the center. Sure, she’d leave it at Robby’s desk. And then throw herself into whatever case she could find. There was no way she could deal with someone being so nice to her on top of everything else.
It should have been comforting, what she wanted even. And it was, in a way. But it was also way too much. Growing up, Trinity always felt alone. Like an outsider, despite the fact she wasn’t the only kid adopted in her family. Yet, she never fit in. There was no one that had a soft spot for little Trinity.
So why the fuck was her attending so… paternal towards her?