Chapter Text
“I still don't see why this is necessary.” Willow said for like the umpteenth time. “I've been doing just fine learning magic all on my own.”
Buffy sighed. She loved her best friend, and she had to admit the girl was basically a genius, but sometimes the redhead was far too sure of herself for her own good.
Not that Buffy herself didn't suffer from the same affliction of self assuredness… but hey, she liked to think that she had grown as a person since her first year as the Slayer, and that a lot of that improvement was due to acknowledging all the criticisms from her mentor.
Actually, speaking of her mentor…
“You were the one who was always complaining that Giles never took the time to properly train you.” Buffy reminded Willow. “I just figured I could find you someone to help do just that.”
“Without talking to me about it first.” Willow noted flatly, obviously unimpressed.
Buffy winced. Okay, maybe she had to admit that she had gone about this a bit backwards… but the fact was that she had needed to find out if the message from the future was real before suggesting anything to Willow. After all, it would have been a bad idea to get her friend's hopes up about being trained and then find out there really was no proper trainer around. Or worse, suggest to Willow that she was worried that she might fall to darkness some day… because Buffy just knew her friend would deny the chance of it happening and adamantly close down any attempts to train her going forward. In fact, she could see Willow doubling down and trying to prove she could handle it all on her own.
Buffy supposed she could just outright explain about the warning she got from the future to make it less about her personal worry and more about insight received into upcoming events, but she still wasn't sure how to bring it up without also letting slip that Willow’s dead future lover had been the messenger. On one hand, that tidbit had been the only thing that had pushed Buffy to believe the message was true to begin with… because losing a lover was the only way she could see Willow falling like that to begin with.
On the other hand…
Buffy’s eyes strayed to Oz who was sitting in the booth beside Willow, his arm draped over his girlfriend's shoulders. His presence was of course the primary reason Buffy couldn't mention possible future lovers who were not Oz shaped. Because that would be… awkward.
“It's not a terrible idea.” Oz offered after catching Buffy’s glance. Maybe he assumed she was seeking his assistance in convincing Willow, which… okay, not an awful plan. She would just pretend she had thought of it rather than it simply happening on its own.
Honestly, Buffy kind of felt like she was second-guessing everything lately. The scramble to figure out how to change the future in a way that would save Willow and her mom—not to mention change the outcome with Faith—had her mind running a million miles an hour.
Problem was, she didn't know how exactly things had played out the first time around… only the outcomes. For example, maybe Oz had left Willow because of disagreements about magic and bringing it up like this would hasten their breakup. Buffy really didn't want to be responsible for that, even if it had already happened in that other timeline one way or another.
“Hey. You're supposed to be on my side.” Willow declared to her boyfriend with a pout, but her obvious annoyance at Buffy's overstep seemed to lessen slightly. Yeah, Oz was pretty good at tempering bad news and getting a point across. It likely had to do something with the fact that he only spoke when necessary, so obviously this was something he agreed with.
“There are no sides here.” Buffy insisted, and then she smiled. “Unless you consider a friend wanting to see you rise to fully meet your potential as a side, then I'm definitely your side girl!” She paused when Willow and Oz raised amused eyebrows at her across the table. Buffy blushed when she realized how that had sounded, “That came out wrong.”
Talk about embarrassing. Oh well. At least she managed to get Willow to smile, even if it was at her own expense.
“So, who exactly is this person you've convinced to come train me?” Willow asked as her amusement leveled off into seriousness again. “You haven’t really mentioned much about them at all.”
Buffy perked up. At least this was a subject she could handle without feeling twisted up inside.
“Tara. She’s great!” Buffy began, unable to hold back her enthusiasm. “She’s a natural born witch that's been trained in magic since she was a little girl. So you just know that she’s obviously going to know her stuff.” She then shrugged to hopefully make it seem like the whole thing wasn't a big deal. “I mentioned you were looking to be trained and she offered to come do something called an aura reading and see if you would be a good match or something like that.”
“And how exactly do you know her?” Willow asked, sounding pensive and a little hurt. “I mean, you've never mentioned knowing another witch before.”
“Oh, uh, we actually only just met the other day.” Buffy replied, suddenly nervous. If her friends learned about the whole ‘mistaken for a lesbian’ fiasco, she would never hear the end of it. “I was at UC Sunnydale checking out the campus and we got to talking.”
“So you just happened to meet a witch willing to take on a stranger as an apprentice?” Willow asked, fully skeptical now. “Are we sure she isn't evil and leading you along in hopes to spring some kind of trap on the Slayer and her unsuspecting band of plucky cohorts?"
“No, definitely no trapping of cohorts, plucky or otherwise.” Buffy denied adamantly. “I mean, I'm the one who approached her and brought it all up.” She paused when she realized something. “Actually, I don't even think she even knows I'm the Slayer. I kind of forgot to mention it.”
“Really? How did you know she was a witch then?” Willow asked, obviously getting even more confused. “I mean, it's not like an affinity for magic is something that comes up in normal non-Slayer related conversation.”
“Well, I…” Buffy struggled. How the heck was she supposed to swing this? Maybe if she stuck to what they were already familiar with. “You know how I sometimes get dreams about the future?”
Willow nodded and Oz seemed to make a facial expression that might have been surprise… or possibly polite interest. It was hard to tell with him sometimes. In either case, there was a chance he hadn’t known about her dreams.
“So, you dreamt about her?” Willow sought for clarity.
“Well, kind of, it was more of a day-dreamy vision type thing, since I was awake at the time.” Buffy allowed nervously. “But it was definitely prophetic and way more suggestive than my dreams usually are.” Two sets of eyebrows rose again, so Buffy hurriedly added. “About getting Tara to train Willow. Geez, guys, get your minds out of the gutter.”
“Okay, and why didn’t you mention this dream stuff earlier when you were trying to convince me to come today?” Willow asked, narrowing her eyes.
“Oh, um…” Buffy hedged, and then began to ramble. “I guess I didn't want to worry you… I mean, I know how it feels to have what boils down to prophetic ‘nudges and winks’ coming at you. It makes you feel like things are out of your control, or maybe even get a bit annoyed that someone out there might be suggesting you need the help even though you assume you've got a handle on everything just fine… you know?”
Willow frowned, and Buffy wanted to kick herself. So much for avoiding treading all over Willow's pride, but at the very least she had managed to keep from having to mention that the warning had actually come from a future dead lover. On the upside, this matched what she had told Tara with the precognition stuff, so if it came up in discussion between the two witches it wouldn't draw more questions.
“Any idea why whoever sends you those dreams might think I need training?” Willow finally asked after a long moment, now sounding more contemplative than upset.
“I mean, there weren't too many details, it was more a warning that things could go all with the badness if you didn't get any.” Buffy answered, and for the most part that was all true because the voice hadn't delved into the nitty gritty of how they had died, but whatever the case, she needed to put a positive spin on it and avoid mentioning Willow's possible fall to darkness. “Who knows, maybe there's a big bad headed our way that only your magic will be able to defeat, and speeding you along toward unlocking that potential is the best hope for everyone involved. And hey, as far as I can see there is no downside to you having better control of your mojo.”
Suddenly Willow's expression got a lot more resolve to it. “Well, I did say that I wanted into this fight. Maybe this is just another sign I’m right where I'm meant to be.”
Buffy smiled a brittle smile as she thought back to the day Willow had declared she was staying in Sunnydale to help in the fight against evil. In hindsight, maybe she should have pushed to get Willow to leave back then, for her own sake. Of course, Buffy would be lying if she said she hadn't been ecstatic to know her best friend was sticking around regardless of the dangers of Sunnydale. That, and there had been no way to know that staying would set her best friend on course to falling to darkness. But now that Buffy did know, it was too late to change her opinion on the matter without having to reveal everything and cause a great number of complications.
No, the best Buffy could do was embrace the warning and do everything in her power to make sure none of those awful things came to pass.
Her own determination renewed, Buffy glanced at her watch and then looked up and around the Espresso Pump. “Speaking of people meaning to be somewhere, Tara should be here any minute now.”
“Well, judging by her interest in us, I'm going to guess that's her over there.” Oz noted, and Buffy followed his gaze to find Tara looking at them pensively from across the street. Buffy smiled and waved, to which she got the same—albeit more shyly—in return.
“Yeah, that's her.” Buffy noted as they all watched the girl in question pull back her curtaining hair to look both ways in traffic so she could cross her way toward the Pump.
“She seems… young.” Willow noted, her tone somewhere between surprised and unimpressed.
“She's our age, I think.” Buffy replied absently as her gaze continued to follow Tara’s measured pace. For some reason, she found the girl’s nervous demeanor beyond endearing. Maybe it was because it reminded her so much of how Willow had been those first few days of their friendship, and look how close they had become in the end. Turning to said friend, Buffy saw that she was frowning. “What?”
“You never mentioned she was so young.” Willow stated, sounding put out. “I thought she was going to be some wizened older witch who has been practicing a long time and had a lot to teach me.”
“Willow, you’re self taught and she's been practicing since childhood, so I think there is probably quite a bit she can teach you.” Buffy insisted, but Willow still seemed unsure. “Just, give her a chance before you dismiss the idea. Kay?”
“Fine, I'll give your dream girl a chance.” Willow replied with a sigh just as Tara finished her approach to their booth.
Buffy went wide eyed and blushed at Willow's turn of phrase. She hoped Tara hadn't heard that because it would definitely be misinterpreted given how and where they had met.
“Tara! You're here!” Buffy blurted out a bit more exuberantly than she meant to, and—hoping to distract from her own reaction to Willow's word choice—quickly stood to greet Tara by pulling her into a hug, one that seemed to surprise the other girl momentarily.
“Hi-i, Buffy.” Tara returned, sounding a bit flustered. Buffy’s mind was racing to decide if it was just the same nervousness she had displayed last time they had spoken or if it had to do with misinterpreting what Willow had said. Or maybe it was the hug, which she realized was going on way longer than it should be for a ‘new friend' hug.
“Thanks so much for coming.” Buffy offered flusteredly as she quickly pulled back from the embrace, dutifully avoiding Tara's gaze to instead motion to the others. “Let me introduce you. This is my very best friend, Willow Rosenberg, and next to her is her boyfriend, Oz.” She then leaned in close again to stage whisper, “He and I are technically friends too, but we are both too cool to admit it in public.”
This drew a little giggle out of Tara and Buffy couldn't help but feel proud—and a bit relieved—about that. She had realized from their first meeting that while the girl could get serious when it mattered, ‘nervous’ was more Tara’s normal state of being. As such, Buffy hoped she could manage to make the other girl feel welcome and comfortable. So far, she was off to a rocky—but not terrible—start. “And guys, this is Tara Maclay.”
“It's n-nice to m-meet you both.” Tara offered as Oz and Willow nodded back in greeting, and then she looked to Willow specifically, almost assessing, probably checking out her aura or something. Willow however was looking contemplative—and maybe a bit anxious—as her eyes moved back and forth between Buffy and Tara.
It kind of reminded Buffy of how Willow used to get back when she and Faith had been getting closer. Willow had once admitted to having been jealous of the sudden connection the two Slayers had been able to make, and that she had been worried that Buffy would have less time for her if she made a new female friend. So maybe Willow was worried about Tara’s arrival in their lives in the same way? Well, if that was the case, Buffy would have to remind Willow that she was her best friend and even if she made other female friends it wouldn't change anything between them.
“Come, sit.” Buffy offered to Tara after she slid into the booth, tapping the seat beside herself to indicate that there was space there. Tara looked at the open seat, then Buffy, bit her lip hesitantly, glanced at Willow and Oz and then finally sat.
“So.” Willow began, her gaze now locked on Tara. “Buffy says you're a natural born witch?”
“I prefer Wiccan, but yes.” Tara replied, sounding all business. “All the women in my family have always had a talent for magic. I myself was trained by my mother until I was seventeen.”
“And you're… what, only eighteen now?” Willow prodded, not doing much to hide her obviously unimpressed tone, and Buffy couldn't help but frown at how much focus her friend was giving Tara's age.
“Y-Yes. Is th-that a problem?” Tara returned haltingly, the welcoming atmosphere Buffy had been aiming to create obviously having been shot to hell, because she sounded nervous again. Hoping to help Tara to feel less backed into a wall, Buffy decided to interject.
“Not in the slightest.” She offered reassuringly before Willow could answer, and then threw a pointed look at the redhead in question as she continued with, “After all, our Wills here is the poster child of age obviously not defining skill.”
“Oh?” Tara asked, sounding honestly curious.
“Yup, she’s a real genius with computers.” Buffy explained proudly, drawing a wide eyed look of sudden understanding from Willow. “She was even being courted by some big tech company a couple years before graduating high school.”
“It's actually how we met.” Oz added, smiling at Willow who was now blushing on top of looking contrite.
“I know it sounds impressive, but it's also kind of complicated… After all, most of my skills in computers aren't the kind that I can advertise openly on my resume." Willow noted.
At Tara’s questioning expression, Buffy wiggled her fingers in the air like she was typing and said, “She does that whole hacky thing.”
“Oh, I see.” Tara intoned, glancing at Buffy who couldn't help but wonder if the small smile she saw on the girl's face was based on finding humor in something, or maybe indicated that she had noticed her subtle intervention earlier and was grateful. Whatever the case, Buffy counted it as a victory. When Tara spoke again, she was refocused on Willow. “I guess that would indicate that you are skilled at taking shortcuts to get what you want.”
Willow blinked, seeming surprised by Tara's question, but then ultimately nodded.
Tara hummed in thought and Buffy noticed the wiccan had begun to drum the fingers of her left hand on her own leg. “And what about with magic?”
“What do you mean?” Willow asked.
“Do you take similar shortcuts with magic?” Tara clarified.
“Oh! Uh… I mean, taking a shortcut in magic isn't really on par with what you would do with computers. Apples and oranges really.” Willow replied thoughtfully. “Like, with software, it's about gaining access to what's behind a locked door. With magic, nothing's really behind locks at all, it's more a matter of finding the room you want on a map and making your way there. Sure, sometimes your destination is a bit further away and requires some endurance to make the trip, but all you have to do is exercise a bit until you feel up to getting there.”
Tara hummed again, a small frown on her face now. Buffy had no idea why, so she shot a glance at Oz to see if he was feeling as lost, but he too was frowning at Willow's answer.
“So, what you are saying is that once you've found a spell you want to cast, you don't feel there's anything keeping you from succeeding beyond time and effort?” Tara sought.
“Not really.” Willow said, sounding bemused. Honestly, it sounded like she was answering a question meant for a third grader and confused as to why it had been asked. “I mean, don't get me wrong, I've had my fair share of stumbles; spells going awry, potions that ended up more soup than brew, but I've found that magic is like using any muscle, the more you work it, the easier it is to do. That being said, I figure I have a ways to go before I get very powerful.”
Tara considered Willow's words for a moment and then said, “I don't have to do an aura reading to tell you are already powerful, because that’s pretty obvious.” Willow smiled proudly at this, but her expression dropped again as Tara continued with, “But… there are certain a-aspects about magic that I think you are overlooking that could be very d-dangerous to ignore.” Willow was frowning deeply now, looking almost offended, and Tara rushed to add, “I'm not s-s-suggesting you are ignoring anything on purpose, but I think that there's a good chance you have o-overlooked or rushed past some important foundational truths, and due to that b-be unaware of the r-risks of blindly following that ‘map’ you mentioned.”
Buffy felt her stomach roll a bit, remembering the direness that had been echoed in Faith's voice when the ghost from the future had explained about Willow being jaded to magic’s rules. And here Tara was, sharing that obvious unease. Was Willow's descent into darkness so noticeable that the girl beside her could already see it upon their first meeting? Could it mean it was already too late to alter course?
“Oh? And what kind of things am I unaware of?" Willow asked, sounding mulish.
“L-Like the fact that all magic should be locked behind doors.” Tara returned, seeming hesitant to counter Willow's earlier assertion.
“Should be?” Willow asked, sounding immediately confused.
“Yes. The problem is that those locks… unlike with most things, have to be s-self imposed.” Tara explained, “Like restricting yourself to safe spells you know you can handle, or taking an abundance of precaution to prevent unexpected costs from being enacted upon you or others. My mother told me stories of those she knew who d-delved too deep and too fast and either lost themselves to the power they curated, or were forever changed by a simple mistake born from complacency."
“We, uh, we've met a couple of people like that, actually.” Buffy broke in, and both the other girls seemed startled by not only her declaration, but that she had jumped in at all. Obviously they had been really focused on the discussion they had been having and spaced on the fact they weren't alone. Which was fine and didn't bother Buffy… really. After all, she was the one who had wanted Willow to meet Tara for the purpose of this discussion to begin with. Which meant she understood the need for them to do the shop talk thing.
So… why was it that she felt so bummed about falling to the wayside?
“You have?” Tara asked, sounding surprised.
Buffy nodded and caught Willow’s wince as her friend probably realized who Buffy was talking about.
“Catherine Madison and her daughter, Amy.” Willow offered, suddenly seeming a bit more subdued and contemplative than she had been before. Maybe being blatantly reminded of those particular examples of magic gone horribly wrong would be a good thing. “Uh, Catherine was using magic for wholly selfish purposes and tried to cast a really dark curse on Buffy, we think to banish her somewhere.” Willow expounded grimly, which caused Tara to gasp in horror and look at Buffy, who for her part smiled in reassurance.
“It's no worries, really. I managed to deflect it back at her with a mirror and…” Buffy paused and scrunched up her face. “Well, honestly we don't really know what happened to her. She sort of just disappeared."
Buffy’s explanation didn't seem to make Tara feel any better, because her horrified gaze suddenly seemed pitying. And yet it was still directed at Buffy… but why would Tara be pitying her for—
“And Amy turned herself into a rat.” Willow added abruptly, drawing Tara's pitying gaze to snap to Willow, her expression shifting to shock instead as her friend expounded further. “I mean, she did it to save herself from being burned at the stake, but she sort of got stuck that way.”
“B-Burned at the stake?” Tara parroted, sounding like she was trying to process what she was hearing. “T-That happens around here?”
“Only tangentially.” Oz interjected, and Tara looked confused, not that Buffy understood what he meant either, but thankfully he added, “That technically only happened because a demon bespelled the town's adults.”
“A demon?” Tara mumbled, looking suddenly pale, and Buffy found herself reaching out to place a comforting hand on Tara's.
“Nothing to worry about, I took care of it.” Buffy offered, and when Tara looked back to her questioningly, she added. “See, I kind of forgot to mention that last time. But protecting people from demons and such is kind of what I do.”
“Voted ‘Class Protector’ by the Sunnydale High class of ninety nine.” Oz declared, to which Buffy couldn't help but blush.
“I still can't believe they did that.” Buffy mumbled, and then noticed Tara's searching gaze, rigid posture and accompanying complicated mixture of emotions ranging somewhere between terrified and hopeful.
It honestly made Buffy wonder just what the other girl was thinking. She worriedly glanced at Willow, but found her friend looking down at the table with an expression both dour and contemplative, probably from the reminder of the Madisons. Well, at the very least it seemed like Willow might finally be coming around to the idea there might be a benefit to having some proper guidance, or at the very least someone to remind her of the dangers every now and then.
Buffy just hoped they hadn't managed to scare Tara off in the process.