Chapter Text
Brendon and Ryan agreed not to tell anyone of their most recent discovery. They decided it made the most sense to figure it out between themselves before welcoming the whirlwind of opinions and commentary coming their way if they happened to tell anyone- or god forbid make it public. They agreed it would be the best choice.
But Spencer was Ryan’s best friend, he couldn’t not tell him. Brendon would understand; Ryan was sure he had someone he would tell anyway too. They’d be allowed that. They didn’t have to shut out everyone else now that they had found each other.
“You… You’re joking, right?” Spencer said blankly. He was sitting cross legged on Ryan’s bed watching him move furniture around, rearranging his room to compensate for the change he couldn’t control. “Brendon?”
“No, Spencer. I decided to think of the most distorted truth I could and then just fucking lie about it.” Ryan deadpanned, a stack of books in his hands.
“I’m just making sure. That’s… That’s kind of a big deal.”
“Thanks. I had no idea.”
“Okay, I get it; you’re bitter and don’t have sensitive feelings like the rest of us where finding your soulmate isn’t exciting.” Spencer sighed, glaring at Ryan. “I get it.”
Ryan stopped and placed the books in a similar pile on the floor by the bed. “I just mean, don’t make this a bigger deal. I know what a mess this is. Believe me, I’ve thought about it.” The fact that the two of them were already friends and had a public relationship seen as such would make telling anyone else a ground zero for viral gossip and tabloid fodder. Tell no one, spare everyone.
“It won’t be a mess.” Spencer argued, holding his hands out for the pile of clothes Ryan pulled from his dresser. “I just mean, it’s Brendon. Wow.”
“I know.” Ryan nodded, keeping all implication from his voice. He was simply agreeing. “I know.” Spencer accepted the clothes from Ryan’s hands and placed them in his lap, his hands resting on top of them as he fixed his posture, bouncing on the bed slightly.
“So…” He started, looking at Ryan with an innocent expression. “When are you going to ask him out?”
“W-What?” Ryan fumbled with his clothes and accidentally kneed the drawer shut on his hand. “Ow- What are you talking about? Like… Like a date?”
“Yes, like a date.” Spencer laughed, teasing him. “You know, when two people go out. Get to know each other… Which, should be a simple task since you guys are two halves of the same whole.” The idea of Brendon complementing him in some way still was surreal to Ryan; everything he didn’t understand about himself might start to make sense when he was with Brendon.
“I’m not asking him out on a date.” Ryan replied shortly. “That’s out of the question.”
“What?” Spencer asked, eyebrows going up. “Are you telling me you don’t think he’s cute or nice or friendly or possibly the funniest drunk for a first date-”
“That’s not what I said.” Ryan was hoping that Spencer didn’t remember all the things on his list that Ryan willingly admitted to. “I’m just not going to force the whole romantic thing on him. We’re already friends! There are soulmates that are like that. That’s possible.”
“Yes, but-”
“No.”
“Yes, but” Spencer persisted. “that is from preference, not fear of rejection.” He was right. Spencer’s one sister had a platonic soulmate, but that’s because romantic involvement wasn’t something she was interesting in. Ryan on the other hand couldn’t say the same things about himself, even in a quiet lie between friends.
“Listen, I just think it’ll be better for everyone if we just, see other people too.”
“Too?” Spencer echoed.
“I mean, we’ll obviously have that closer friendship, but if he wants to go off with someone else, I don’t care.” Ryan had prepared himself for the thought before truly accepting it as his future reality. He wouldn’t stop Brendon from living his life.
“But in that scenario, you are just planning for him to go off and have sex with someone.” Ryan shuddered at Spencer’s heavy and blunt choice of words. “But what if he falls in love with someone?”
Ryan had an answer ready. “That’s fine. At least he’s happy.”
“But he’ll be the happiest with you.” Spencer argued, laughing at the simplicity of the point. “That’s kind of why you are soulmates, Ryan. You can’t forget that. You chose each other in some other life or world to live together in this one!” Ryan blinked, Spencer’s eyes glowing. “I’ve read a lot of books on this, Ryan. Trust me.” Ryan shook his head and placed more clothes on Spencer’s lap, attempting to cover the bright and optimistic smile staring him down.
“I’m not trying to change his whole life, Spencer. He’s only twenty.” Ryan said. Spencer’s eyebrows furrowed, noting that out of the three of them, Spencer was the youngest. “I can’t ask him to just stop dating.”
“I think of everyone in his life, you are the only one that’s allowed to ask.” Spencer countered, starting to fold the clothes on the top of the pile.
“What if he doesn’t feel that way?” Ryan asked, pretending there were still clothes in his dresser. He felt around at the bottom of the empty drawers. “I mean, that would just be horrible.”
“Why don’t you just ask.” Spencer laughed. “That’s really the one way to know.”
Ryan turned away from the dresser and stared around at the controlled destruction around the room. Everything was out of drawers and in the process of being arranged. Nothing was in order anymore. Nothing was where it should have been. Was this how it was going to be all the time? Was this his new normal; messy, turned over, scattered, and completely his fault.
“I hate when you’re right.” Ryan said, sitting down on the floor amongst the chaos. “I’ll think of something.”
“I invited him to get coffee tomorrow, want to come?” Spencer asked, pushing the clothes off him and sliding onto the floor as well. “I can ask him later tonight.”
“I can do it.” Ryan reached over to fumble with the pile of his floor that was his desk materials. He rolled up his sleeve and grabbed a pen rolling toward him.
Doing anything tomorrow? He wrote in his typical handwriting, although it was probably the first set of non-frantic words Brendon had seen show up on his skin in a while, although every part of Ryan was humming. He knew someone would answer, finally. He had spent most of his life thinking he was alone, his family casting him out for being a lone pair, and now he knew someone was on the other side, reading his words, being a part of him. But now that Ryan found him, he was also willing to let him find someone else…
Coffee w/ Spence. Brendon’s handwriting showed up directly underneath Ryan’s, small and all the letters taking the same uppercase size. It was gentle and lazy, like Brendon was lying around after practice when Ryan just began to bother him. Ryan stared at the words for a moment, Spencer staring as well, trying to figure out what to say, when more words began to appear. You should come.
“He asked me to go.” Ryan said quickly, holding his arm out to show Spencer. “Do I say yes? Or is that-”
“Yes! Say you’ll go!” Spencer nodded, pointing at the skin open for Ryan’s answer. “Say you’ll go!”
Sounds great. Be there. Ryan placed his pen back on the floor, rolling it back into the pile near him, and let himself smile at the invitation.
“This still doesn’t count as a date, by the way.” Spencer noted quietly. “Having me there makes it a not date.” Ryan opened his mouth to respond but shut it the moment Spencer quirked an eyebrow. He was right; Ryan would have to ask Brendon on a proper date, would have to ask him to not see other people, to try and commit to him only. He would have to make his feelings known. Ryan had no idea how Brendon would react. He nervously pondered Brendon’s possible thought process; if anyone could predict it, it would be Ryan.
Ryan was outside the coffee house, pretending that he was locked in his car. Or at least, that was the story if Spencer came over to drag him in by his hair. He could see Brendon sitting outside with Spencer, leaning back in his chair, arm extended and holding his coffee cup, legs crossed and body somehow completely elongated and breathtaking at ten in the morning. Ryan had such a fascination with Brendon, always had, but now that it could actually go somewhere it was poisonous, making Ryan freeze up and feel sick. Just yesterday, they were fine. They were friends. They still were.
Ryan opened his car door and started across the street for the coffee shop slowly, hoping they wouldn’t notice him until he was beside their table; stay out from under the microscope for as long as he could. He went to the end of the street to cross, standing further behind Spencer but getting a more complete look at Brendon’s face. He was laughing, Ryan being able to hear it quietly from where he was. He leaned forward ever so slightly in his chair, his grin somehow gaining rapid focus and causing Ryan to nearly miss the change of stoplight. All Ryan could see was Brendon. He was doomed.
“Ryan! Hey!” Fuck. “What’s up?” Ryan walked faster although he was hoping to stay further away. As Brendon spoke, Spencer turned around and looked at him, winking subtly. Spencer was going to blow it.
“Not much.” Ryan said when he reached the table. He shrugged and allowed himself to stand slightly left of the center of the table. Closer to Brendon. “How long have you been here?”
Brendon tapped his cup against the table, the hallow sound answering him. “At least one cup. Probably going to get more. How about you, Spencer?”
“Still working on it.” Spencer shook his cup and the coffee inside sloshed around truthfully.
“How?” Brendon laughed, standing slowly, Ryan shuffling to let him have space. “It’s been like, an hour and a half. I’m pretty sure they’ve changed shifts in there.”
“I’m just going slow today.” Spencer shrugged and Ryan could feel his expression souring strictly at the attempt of subtlety.
“Well, I’m going with Ryan to get more coffee, you keep the table.” Brendon said, touching Ryan’s arm lightly. He invited himself to go along with Ryan suddenly. It was normal, what they did most of the time, but suddenly Ryan felt himself getting nervous. As friends, just simple and unconnected friends, their conversations flowed freely and easily, but now Ryan was worried something would bring it all to a screeching halt. Namely himself.
Brendon walked into the coffee shop first, keeping his hand on the door to hold it for Ryan. Ryan placed his hand under the handle to make sure he didn’t accidentally lose to his own urge to place his hand near Brendon’s- just to see what would happen. The place wasn’t busy at all, only another couple sitting inside by the windows, the two of them doodling on one another with pen and grinning at the copy that appeared on their own skin. There was a man behind the counter pinning a nametag to his shirt as Brendon and Ryan approached. Ryan stood behind Brendon, still mulling over his coffee order. The man still had his eyes on his badge as Brendon stood by the register.
“Hi!” Brendon said brightly after a silent moment, although his voice rang with slight confusion and irritation.
“Hi, how can I- oh.” The man looked up as Brendon spoke, his expression went slack and he became speechless. Ryan recognized the look; he felt the same way about Brendon too. “Hi.”
“Hi.” Brendon said again, grinning. It was innocent and kind, his smile stopping both of the men looking at him. “Can I have another latte. Please.” Brendon pointed kindly at the foreign letters written on the side of his cup, indicating more clarity than his actual order.
“Of course.” The man said, grabbing another cup and copying the symbols. “Anything for you.” He winked and Ryan felt his stomach sink. Brendon’s response was nothing but flattered and sincere. “Can I have your name.” Ryan gave enough effort to look at the man and to find his way onto his name tag. Already, Rick was getting under Ryan’s skin.
“Brendon.”
“Ah,” Rick smiled and wrote the name on the cup with finesse and a swift hand. “a prince.” Brendon laughed with obnoxious amounts of beauty, and Ryan just stood beside him, scowling. It was only this guy’s muscle mass index that was allowing him to get away with using someone’s name meaning by means of flirtation. Some people didn’t know how lucky they were. “We’re cleaning one of the machines right now so it’ll take a minute. When it’s finished, I’ll bring it out to you.”
“Oh, okay.” Brendon said, nodding but looking at him strangely. The man was turning towards Ryan already. “Don’t I have to, you know, exchange money for that?” Brendon made a gesturing motion between the two of them, his money extended.
“No.” Rick laughed, shaking his head. “Royalty doesn’t pay.”
Suddenly, Ryan wasn't hungry anymore. All he could think of was taking the scolding hot cup of coffee being promised in his future and pouring it down the front of himself. Sitting in the boiler would be less uncomfortable than standing beside Brendon and watching him be flirted with- and him be flattered in return.
Brendon stepped aside, grin still on his face, and let Ryan order. Rick’s demeanor was more slouched as Ryan stepped up; already, Ryan wasn’t his number one concern.
“Order?” He asked, picking up a cup and marker, his eyes staying on the cup.
“Just, a cup of black coffee. Hot as you can make it.” Ryan replied, returning as much effort as Rick offered. “Absolutely boiling.”
“Okay. That’ll be $2.45.” Rick responded, scribbling on the cup. “Name?”
“Ryan.” He said, holding the money out to him. “It means ‘little king’.” Ryan made sure to keep his grin plastered on his face until him and Brendon turned away from the register and walked back outside.
“Was that too awkward for you?” Brendon asked quietly, holding the door open first. Ryan kept forgetting that as subtle as he thought he was, Brendon could see right through him.
“For me? Why are you assuming that I had any-” Ryan sputtered, trying to wipe the grimace off his face and smile at Brendon. “I don’t care if he f-flirts with you.” Ryan hated his own reluctance to stay the word. It felt sharp in his mouth. “I just wish he didn’t…” Do it at all. “You know…”
“No, I understand.” Brendon nodded, reaching the table. “It’s always awkward when it’s in front of your friends. They aren’t supposed to see that side of you. The romantic side is off limits.”
“That was romantic?” Ryan muttered, taking his seat slowly. “Thought that was an attempt to get laid.”
“I’m not splitting hairs.” Brendon smirked as he leaned back in his chair again, stretching his arms up. Ryan slowly huffed out a laugh and turned to look at Spencer, pain most likely evident on his face. Ryan felt like he was swallowing glass shards. It was awful. Lying was so much easier when you didn’t have the truth ramming into your slide with ever bubble of laughter and accidental brush of the fingertips.
“Splitting hairs about what?” Spencer asked, his curiosity presenting Ryan with another mouthful.
“Whether or not that barista wants to sleep with Brendon.” Ryan said through a tense smile. “He gave him coffee for free.”
Spencer’s smile slowly became just as twisted and uncomfortable as Ryan’s. “Really? Wow. That’s great.”
“…Why do you both look like that?” Brendon asked, waving a hand in front of their faces to try and change their expressions. “Stop looking so weird. He’s just being nice.” He poked the side of Ryan’s face and Ryan’s face fell immediately. “I’m sure he didn’t mean anything by it.”
“I paid for my coffee.” Ryan pointed out, his instead deadpan dropping with sadness. Brendon opened his mouth but quickly closed it to simply nod.
“Alright so maybe he was flirting.” Brendon agreed. “So what?”
“Well…” Spencer started, scratching the back of his neck. Ryan reached under the table and grabbed Spencer’s leg, digging his fingernails into the skin as harshly as he could through the denim. “Ah-I mean, I just… uh, I didn’t know that you…” Spencer waved his hand out to Brendon and was hoping the rest of his sentence would fall from the sky, fall from the stars and stop Ryan from drawing blood.
“That I what?” Brendon echoed. “Wait, this isn’t about me being into guys, is it? Because you definitely do know that.” Brendon looked at Ryan and he could feel every sharp corner and jagged edge of his simple words cut into him. The sentence might not have fallen from the heavens but the person who finished it sure did. “That shouldn’t be surprising.”
“I guess I just forgot.” Spencer shrugged, shaking his head and sighing as Ryan finally let go of him. “I lose track of these things.”
“Well, write it down.” Brendon joked, resting his elbows on the table. “I’m not about to explain it every time I have my boyfriend around.” Ryan tried not to notice how Brendon spoke as if he already had one, tried not to notice the reason for Brendon’s joke, tried not to think about how Ryan was meant to be that boyfriend. Ryan just laughed and bumped Brendon’s arm playfully. “Here, let me write it down.” Brendon reached in his pocket for a pen, playfully grabbing at Spencer’s hand to scribble on it.
“No, come on! That’s the worst thing to have appear on your skin; Brendon: Gay. That’s not very affirming to whomever is out there, looking for me.” Spencer argued, yanking his hand away. “That’ll ruin my chances.”
“Ruin your chances with a soulmate?” Brendon repeated. “I don’t think that’s possible. They are always supposed to work out, Spence.” Ryan wasn’t sure he believed that, but he would spend all his time praying it was true.
Ryan cleared his throat, swallowing another fistful of glass as he prepared himself to speak, only to be cut off by Rick walking outside, calling Brendon’s name.
“Here’s your latte.” He placed Brendon’s cup down carefully in front of him. Ryan’s cup didn’t even have the lid fully in place, hot coffee spilling on his hand as he took the cup from Rick. “Is there anything else I can get you?” Ryan glared at Rick, standing in between him and Brendon, their lowered height getting them eye-level with his belt buckle. “Maybe dinner tonight… At six?” Brendon’s eyelashes fluttered as he looked up at him and Ryan craned his neck away, the shards of glass rising in his throat.
Spencer was already looking at Ryan, eyebrows knitted together. “You can’t be okay with this.”
“I’m getting through it.” Ryan gritted, clenching his jaw. “It’s not a big deal. It’s just a stupid crush.”
“On who’s part?” Spencer asked, looking at Ryan with regret. “The barista’s or yours?”
Ryan shook his head and refused to answer Spencer, the answer already evidently clear and giggling quietly beside him. Any feelings Ryan had for Brendon were wrongfully validated by their connection, now only turning into torture. On his hand, Ryan could feel a pen scribbling across it, the barista’s phone number being spelled out boldly on his skin. He wrote it big and carelessly so when it appeared on Brendon’s other half, it was obnoxious and a clear reminder he got there first.
Ryan got the point; the universe brought him and Brendon together, but his own self-doubt and a tight t-shirt was all that was needed to keep them apart. Ryan wondered if Spencer read anything about that.
The minute Ryan walked back inside his home, he began cleaning again. He started in the kitchen, pulling out dishes and utensils and wiping down cabinets. It looked like he was moving out—and part of Ryan wished he was. It was eight thirty and Ryan knew Brendon was probably having a great time on his date. He didn’t want to think about the laughs they were having or the charming smile Brendon was flashing him every time Rick flattered him. Ryan pushed away the thoughts of them kissing at the end of the night. He stopped himself before his thought process could go much further; Ryan didn’t need to break any dishes. Just another mess for him to clean up. More broken pieces.
Ryan was standing on one of his few sturdy dining chairs to dust the top of his overhanging lamp when letters began to form on his hand. It was an address of a place Ryan had never been to. Ryan was hoping it wasn’t the guy’s address; Brendon possibly being too drunk to get there himself and needing a return address. Ryan dropped it to his side and continued to work without his left hand, not wanting to look at much longer. The mystery was enough to drive Ryan mad—as if he wasn’t already.
The lamp was dusted and bright and Ryan stepped back down from his chair slowly, only nearly tripping once both feet were on the ground. He stepped back into a broom and stumbled into the counter, his hands going out to catch himself on the tile. His left hand came back into his vision and Ryan tried to look away but found three words pulling him back in: Come get me.
Was Brendon calling to him? He had to be, right? There was no one else he knew would see it? And no stranger could have written it- how could they knew if Brendon had found his soulmate? Only Brendon knew there was someone who would see it. It was Brendon. Brendon wrote to him. Brendon needed his help.
Before a second thought, Ryan grabbed his keys, and a pen, and raced for the door. He answered Brendon just as he got in the car: On my way.
All of Ryan’s worst fears were wrong, but the mildly terrifying ones were confirmed; the address brought Ryan to a bar just on the other side of town, small but upscale. Ryan pulled past the front of the building, getting to the parking lot, and looked at the line of people hoping to get inside the bar, basking in the bright neon light and shadows of the spotlights shining up into the sky. Beside the line, sitting against the curb, was a familiar face, slumped and head hung in his heads. Ryan pulled in the nearest spot and jumped out of his car.
“Brendon! I got your message! What happened?” Ryan called, holding his arm up and showing the handwriting that committed them to the other.
“Sorry. My phone died.” Brendon said quietly, his voice low and head still in his hands. The sight was somehow worse than that afternoon, Ryan swallowing a whole pane instead of tiny shards. Ryan sat down beside Brendon slowly. “I didn’t have a ride.”
“Where’s Rick?” Ryan placed a hand on Brendon’s back. It was as close as he would get.
“He left.”
“What? He left?”
“I got up to use the bathroom, and when I came back, he had just left.” Brendon sighed. He turned to look at Ryan with bloodshot and puffy eyes, and for the first time, Ryan understood why his reaction was so visceral and intense; it was how Brendon was feeling. He could feel Brendon’s churning stomach, his trembling hands, hear his racing thoughts, feel the warm anger bubbling in his chest.
“Oh, Brendon. I-I’m so sorry.” Ryan managed, placing his other hand on his knee gently. Ryan felt his stomach drop, but he wasn’t sure if that was his own or Brendon’s. “He’s an asshole.”
“I don’t know what I said.” Brendon muttered, covering his face and cutting off their eye contact, cutting Ryan loose. “I was charming.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Brendon. I’m sure.” Ryan was trying not to imagine the date in order to reassure him. “Sometimes guys are just assholes-”
“I’m the worst date ever.” Brendon groaned, resting his forehead on his knees and putting his arms around his head. Brendon leaned into Ryan slightly, tipping over and letting his shoulder rest against Ryan’s side. “Why did I think we’d get along?”
“Because he was nice to you.” Ryan replied, leaving out all jealously from his tone. “And you were nice back… I think that’s the grounds for a good relationship of any kind, really.” Ryan laughed, rubbing circles on Brendon’s back. It was the basis of their friendship; all Ryan did the first day he met Brendon was smile and make a joke, and all Brendon had to do was laugh and they were friends. Of course, other worldly forces were intermingled in their first encounter, but it all worked the same. They didn’t know any different back then… Although, now they did. “Guess he wasn’t the right one.”
Brendon’s shoulders shook slowly as he began to laugh. “That’s pretty biased coming from you, Ry.” They weren’t going to pretend it wasn’t the truth.
“What can I say? A soulmate just knows these things.” Ryan tried to say it in the most non-committal and nonchalant way, but his voice twisted and sounded broken as his joke became wistful. Brendon turned his head slowly and looked back into Ryan’s eyes. A wave of regret washed over him and every instinct in him fought wrapping his arms around Brendon.
“Yeah… You do know these kinds of things.” Brendon nodded, trying to pull together a smile for Ryan. “Guess I should have listened to you.”
“I never said anything.” Ryan noted, trying to recount how well he had held his tongue that afternoon.
“No. But I could see it on your face. I heard what you wanted to say.” Brendon said.
“All of it?” Ryan asked, his throat running dry.
“I’m pretty sure.” Brendon nodded, a smile finally appearing on his face. “You wanted to absolutely deck him, right? Right around the time he mentioned royalty.”
“Very true.” Ryan agreed, also knowing what else he was thinking then. How he was thinking he had made the biggest mistake, trying to please Brendon when he hadn’t even asked him what he thought. How he had allowed himself to give off the impression that he was okay letting Brendon slip away from him. How he hadn’t really been honest and told Brendon that he was honestly relieved by the truth, knowing that all the bubbling and uncontrollable feelings he got from being around Brendon were somehow all meant to be. How he had been lying this whole time. “Well, did you hear anything else?”
“Uh, mostly just that.” Brendon said, continuing to smile at him. “Why, was there something much worse you are keeping from me?”
“No.” It was a reflex, Ryan shaking his head and pulling away from Brendon before he could even understand the question. “I just mean… There was something else- it’s not bad though. It’s just…” Ryan could feel the glass rub against his tongue as he tried to speak. He could practically feel the blood running down his chin, spilling his secret. “I was actually just thinking about how jealous I was.”
“Jealous?” Brendon echoed, his expression falling. Ryan clamped his mouth shut and tried to keep all the blood inside, not allow Brendon to see the pain he felt keeping it to himself. “But that guy’s an ass.”
“I-I didn’t mean…” Ryan sputtered, placing his hand on Brendon’s back again. “I meant you.”
“Jealous of me?” Brendon repeated, still not understanding. “Ryan, you just saw that I had the worst-”
“I meant that I’m jealous of someone flirting with you!” Ryan cried, the glass suddenly tumbling out of his mouth as he finally admitted to Brendon all that was cutting him up inside. “I’m just jealous, okay? Really… Really, jealous.”
“Y-You want to go on a date with me?” Brendon understood the point with terrifying clarity, Ryan forgetting they were somehow sharing an experience. “But… I thought… I thought you didn’t want to.”
“No…” Ryan shook his head slowly. “I thought that’s what you’d want. Thought you wouldn’t… that you’d say… I don’t know.” Ryan stopped the words tangling and twisting in his mouth.
“Would you want to go on a date with me?” Brendon asked the question with hesitation and fear. The same type that was pooling Ryan’s mouth and pouring out as he opened his mouth to answer. “I mean, like a-”
“Yes.” Ryan stopped Brendon before he could go any further. No matter what the stipulations, Ryan would go. “I want to. I really do.”
“Oh.” The thought stopped Brendon and he looked down at his wringing hands. “When… When were you planning on going on that date with me?”
“How about Friday night? After practice.” Ryan asked, hoping to get Brendon’s attention back. “Would that be okay?” The longer Ryan waited, the less bravery he’d maintain; he had to do it soon. It was about time.
“Yeah… That’d be fine.” Brendon smiled and looked at Ryan again, his eyes searching over Ryan’s face as if it was all unfamiliar. Like he was finding new things to see. “I’d love that.” Brendon’s smile didn’t fade as Ryan began laughing, his nerves expelling every ounce of doubt that had been weighing him down beside Brendon. Brendon wasn’t repulsed by the thought. He was willing to try, but Ryan somehow already had the idea it would be more than an attempt at getting along. They would be starting. This was a first date, a beginning of something much greater.
Finally, Ryan knew what Spencer was so damn excited about. Although Ryan was sure that no book covered the bliss of realizing your life was finally settling on a path that made everything go right. No silences, no one-way conversations, no resignation. Ryan didn’t know what to do with the feeling. He just stayed beside Brendon, the two of them exchanging the same helplessly joyful grins.