Chapter Text
Seo Hoyun has been in Nugu Idol Tycoon for a few months already, but he still isn't ready to face his past lover who he had practically killed when he was a PD.
The first thing that Hoyun did after waking up in Nugu Idol Tycoon was search up Min Jiheon's name on SNS. Well—he did that everyday even before entering the Tycoon, to watch his past dramas so that he atleast sees the face who he had once loved so much, he still loves him but what is there to love when he doesn't exist anymore.
Hoyun prepares himself too see the same articles about his death but surprisingly there is none? The only thing he sees is dramas, that never existed in his past timeline featuring Min Jiheon. He clicks one of the links, and the first thing that greets him is a picture of Min Jiheon smiling like an idiot who doesn't know any hardships, while looking straight at the camera.
Since that day he never searched up Min Jiheon's name ever again because of the guilt that haunts him on what his lover could've been if he hadn't asked to go on a trip—no if he had never loved him.
Hoyun had wished a little that Jiheon was still dead. Because if he was, he wouldn't have his guilt haunting him like a parasite on how he took a life that was going to bloom like a star. He is selfish and he knows it, who would wish that their lover—no past lover was dead. Other people who had lost their loved ones would be cursing him out, calling him all sorts of names, on how this was a miracle that would never happen again—well, it is true that this was a miracle but it's misfortune disguised as a miracle for Hoyun.
To make matters even worse, he finds out that the idol Seo Hoyun in this world is in the same company as Min Jiheon. The only good thing was that Hoyun and Jiheon are in different occupations so they probably won't cross paths.
It was a normal day for Hoyun and The Dawn. They just have to shoot an MV at Jeju Island for their comeback after Second Chance, and he heard from the company that Min Jiheon would be there too, it was nothing for Hoyun to worry about really—who is he trying to fool.
Hoyun hadn't had a wink of sleep the day before and on the flight, his eyes are so dry that he could go to a driest eyes competition right now and win—or maybe not, his eyes get teary whenever he thinks about Min Jiheon.
Just thinking about seeing his lover—no past lover alive after his death is making his heart feel heavy. Hoyun himself knows that he hasn't moved on and that he still has lingering feelings for Min Jiheon, and that just makes it worse.
The Dawn members especially Kang Ichae, who's so perceptive that even Hoyun walks on eggshells around him, noticed that he was acting very unusual. Dajun even tried teasing Hoyun saying stuff like "Hoyun hyung's nervous?!", "Even robots have emotions!?" But quickly shut up when he saw Hoyun's face that looked like a person who had went to a funeral.
Hoyun tried his best to not show it but it slips whenever he thinks about Min Jiheon, which means he was like that the whole time. He tried to distract himself by going on his phone, but that didn't work at all since the only thing people on SNS were talking about was Min Jiheon's drama, which just make stomach churn.
They arrive at the airport and Hoyun takes a deep breath to calm himself down so that the fans don't see the ugly side of him. Dajun goes out first and then Hoyun, now with a face that looks like he just went on vacation, steps out after him.
Everything goes smoothly, he gives some fanservice to the Noeuls and gets on the plane safely without incidents. Well—it partially goes smoothly since the only thing he was thinking about was Min Jiheon, Hoyun just hopes that nobody realized that he wasn't in a bad mood.
They arrive at Jeju Island and the first thing that they do is go to the famous black pork restaurant because of Jang Dajun's nagging.
Hoyun was slowly chewing the black pork belly even though he didn't have an appetite, with a face screaming that he didn't want to be here. The system window cheerful as ever, tried to lift up Hoyun's sunken mood but failed miserably because of him ignoring it like it had a disease.
Hoyun thought he might as well have a bottle of soju since here here, so he was about to ask the manager if he can, but the system window that was glaring at him a while ago disappeared as if fleeing from something.
Just as he was about to question it, the door swung open and people with black-padded jackets rushed in and The Dawn's manager, who Hoyun we as about to ask for a soju bottle, stood up and walked to a person in the group of people that just came in.
Their manager looked quite excited so Hoyun thought it was best to not bother him, he was about to focus his mind onto something else but the identified person with the manager bowed to the direction of The Dawn and greeted them.
"Hello I'm Kim Seongcheol, Min Jiheon's road manager."
Hoyun, who was just about to greet him and go back to eating, paused his body stiff at the mention of the name he least wanted to hear, Min Jiheon. His heart started beating fast as if he was about to have a panic attack.
If Min Jiheon's manager is here then doesn't that mean..? Just as Hoyun was thinking that a man walked inside the restaurant, yawning, it seemed as if time had frozen. The person he least wanted to see—no, he did want to see him but not now, he's just not prepared to face him just yet.
The face of his lover, breathing and most importantly alive. Hoyun wanted to be happy—no he should be, but he just can't. He can feel his face getting hotter by the second and his eyes, that were dry as the Sahara desert, now feel moist.
Hoyun quickly excused himself outside to the manager, his voice came out a bit raspy but he doesn't care. What he does care about is getting away from Min Jiheon so that his inner feelings don't turmoil inside him. Well—it already had because now he feels like a shity bastard who is still in love after all this time.
Hoyun went into a corner and squated down while facing the opposite side of the restaurant so that people inside can't see his face, even though people can't see, Hoyun still covered his face with his hands and laid his head in his knees. He feels as if he's going throw up everything he ate today, his stomach is chirping away at him, making growling sounds that is not fit for an idol.
Hoyun wishes and wishes that this is just a bad dream that he will soon wake up from. He can't handle this—he can't handle being with Min Jiheon, in the same room, breathing the same air as him, he just can't do it. It's too much for his mental health.
Hoyun's just so selfish, why does he only care about himself and not the one who's now back from the dead. The one who got a second chance at life—isn't it ironic that his debut song was named Second Chance. He's going to take his chance alright, he'll leave Min Jiheon alone and then he'll be happy watching him from the sidelines—but deep down, that's not what he wants.
He wants to hold him, cry in his arms, and tell him everything—fuck he's just so pathetic. He doesn't deserve this, he doesn't deserve to be all happy after killing him with his own hands. Maybe this is his own karma for ruining people's life's through editing as a PD, now it came to bite him back.
Before Hoyun could spiral even further, the door slid open and the voice he least wanted to hear, interrupting his thoughts.
"Ah, I didn't know someone else was here already."
Hoyun flinches again and just stays still motionless, not even breathing.
"Hm.. can I stay here?"
"..yeah."
Hoyun a beat too late, replies in a low voice that is barely over a whisper.
"I'm Min Jiheon, I didn't property introduce myself."
Hoyun's heart shatters and the slither of hope he had was now gone. He had hoped that like Seo Hojin, Min Jiheon would also remember him but no he doesn't. 10 seconds pass by, making Min Jiheon feel awkward and Hoyun who fell into an endless loop of thoughts, remembered that he also needs to introduce himself.
"..ah.. I'm Seo Hoyun." He pauses thinking about what to say next and then settles on, "Nice to meet you." Maybe it was the slight hope that Min Jiheon would say what he was talking about and that they were lovers, but of course that gets crushed instantly.
"Yes, nice to meet you." Min Jiheon smiles a little, like an idiot, oblivious to the fact that he just broke someone's will to keep going.