Chapter Text
When Tenna woke up, he instantly knew something was different. Instead of a warm, soft bed, he was now laying on top of cold, hard concrete. When slightly moving his head to examine his surroundings, he couldn’t see anything that resembled his bedroom. Instead, it looked like he was in a dark, filthy alleyway next to a dumpster.
Tenna shuddered as he knew the implications of why he’s here.
It’s finally happened.
The Dreemurrs had actually thrown him away.
It was always inevitable, no matter how much he tried to improve his show. The family was growing apart more and more by the moment, and no amount of TV was going to fix it. With nothing else he could do, Tenna sat up and sadly huddled his knees to his chest.
… However, something felt.. off about his body. It felt smaller than before, but that’s to be expected with his state of gloobiness. What was more concerning, though, was how… pale his skin looked. Not to mention he was no longer in his pajamas, or even his familiar suit, but rather a singular, black v-neck shirt.
The TV host tried to stand up, only to be caught off guard by how light and hollow he now felt; forcing him to rocket onto his feet and almost fall on his face.
That was weird. Even at his smallest height, Tenna’s mechanical parts had always made him a bit heavy. His stomach turned at the thought that someone must’ve stolen his parts while he was asleep. He needed to get out of this dangerous place, ASAP!
Still in his glooby state, Tenna wandered through the dark alleyway to find a more public area. As he walked, he felt the need to wrap his arms around his waist as a cold breeze clashed against his skin. Normally, the warmth of his CRT screen would prevent this discomfort, but for some reason, it didn’t seem to be glowing at all.
A chill that felt worse than the wind ran up his spine. Maybe I am broken? Maybe that’s why they threw me away?
At least that scammy mailman wasn’t here to see his downfall. After screwing him over with his promise, he’d probably want a front row seat to witness the demise of old-fashioned television.
… No. He wasn’t going to let that cheater win. Tenna just.. needed a quick fix-up is all. After that, surely the Dreemurrs would take him back in.
TV Time isn’t cancelled yet, just… delayed a bit.
The moment he made it out of the alleyway and onto the city’s sidewalk, a sudden car zoomed ahead of him, forcing the TV star to step back a bit. When looking back at the car from a distance, he noticed that it wasn’t exactly driving with its wheels… but running with its legs.
Confused, he examined his surroundings more and noticed how technical and neon the city looked; with its green-gridded sky, luminescent buildings, and flashy ads floating on their own without any sort of structure. Even the citizens reflected their environment with their bright colors and bodies containing either wires or pixels.
As a big metal box plugged to the wall, Tenna never really had the luxury of traveling to any dark world on a whim. However, whenever the Dreemurrs or Holidays would bring in a laptop from the library, he remembered visiting the Cyber World a few times after getting to know his ex-partner.
From his memories, this place feels similar enough to tell him he’s in the streets of Cyber City. What doesn’t make sense, though, is how the heck did he get here in the first place!?
As he was pondering, he noticed a plugboy happened to be walking towards him. At least, he believes it’s a plugboy, due to how similar they look to Ramb. Tenna strolled up to the darkner, causing them to jump a bit.
“EX[[squeeze]] M3, COULD Y0U [tell us on a 1-5 star rating how we-”
Tenna immediately shuts himself up in shock. Why did he sound like that?
The plugboy looked just as confused as him right now, trying to slide away from the conversation. Wanting to save face after that weird blurt-out, Tenna immediately stopped them in their tracks.
“W-WAIT! I JUST WANT 2 [ask your doctor if-”
Again, Tenna clamps his mouth shut. Why is he suddenly getting interrupted by ads?
“Uh, s-sorry, sir. I’m not interested in what you’re selling.” the plugboy responded nervously, then quickly dashed away from the struggling TV host.
What on earth was going on with his voice? Are the city ads somehow interfering with his signal? Raising his hands to his head, Tenna tried to adjust his antennae in an attempt to fix the problem. But instead of finding them, it felt like a bed of hair was covering the top of his casing.
He tried to move his hands around to examine, only for the joints of his fingers to get caught by this strange scalp that was now glued onto his head. Great. Where are my gloves when I need them?
Now with his hands tied to his head like a fool, Tenna looked around to see if he could find a mirror to make sense of all of this. While there wasn’t anything exactly he was looking for on his side of the street, right next to him was a storefront window that looked fairly reflective. This will have to do.
The TV host walked over to the window, and after a quick glance, he nearly jumped out of his skin over what he saw on the other side. It looked like a… creature staring at him from inside. One with glowing eyes and an eerie smile.
He backed away in panic, the creature doing the same in response. They both ended up staring at each other in deadlock as they panted heavily in fear. Realizing this thing wasn’t willing to harm him, Tenna slowly crept up while the creature mimicked his movements to a T.
They eventually met on their respective side of the glass. Here, Tenna got a better look at the bizarre darkner. It kind of resembles a… puppet of some sort; with its giant, plastic head, painted red cheeks, and bottom jaw that splitted separately from its mouth.
It was fascinating how this puppet creature managed to perfectly capture Tenna’s every move. Why, it even has its hands stuck to its hair in entirely the same..position…as…
…him.
…
…
Wait..
In a frenzy, Tenna painfully rips his hands out of his scalp; the puppet following suit. He then frantically scours his hands across his face in a desperate attempt to feel anything that resembles a glass screen or a square, plastic case. But alas, he could only sense what his reflection showed; a hollow, plastic head, pink and yellow glasses, and a crack segregating his jaw from the rest of his mouth.
This was insane. The longer he stared at this mockery of a reflection, the more he felt like he was gonna throw up. What kind of sick, twisted TV magic turned him into this!?
… And yet… there was this itching feeling that this body looked…
… familiar.
As Tenna removed the glasses from his face, the world around him started to blur. Yet he was still able to see the small, beady eyes in his reflection.
… Those eyes. Along with the white skin, black hair and pointed nose. With his vision skewed, he could almost mistake himself for…
… Spamton.
Tenna slowly puts the glasses back on and turns away from the window, unable to stomach looking at this… thing any longer. Whoever, or whatever, changed his appearance clearly made it personal.
Was it bad enough that Spamton betrayed him and left him to rot? Now he has to look like a decrepit version of him!?
Another car zoomed behind Tenna, causing him to lose his train of thought. When he looked over, he noticed that the vehicle looked a lot different compared to the others that passed by. This one appeared to be a hovering, black limousine; swerving around drunkenly as it rams over traffic and pedestrians until skirting to a stop in front of a very large building.
The building itself wasn’t like any of the structures around the city. It was more grandiose with its long red carpet and exterior in the shape of cyber ruler Queen’s head. It didn’t take an expert to know who that mansion belonged to.
Tenna had known Queen ever since the laptop regularly came over. Surely her expertise in ‘intern-net’ (or whatever that thing was called) would help him in figuring out how to change back. The only problem, though, was the possibility of running into another certain resident.
… Whatever. There was nobody else in Cyber Word that he knew of, and that big shot would probably be too busy with his ‘e-mail’ thing to notice him. With no other plan, Tenna trudged on to the mansion with his tiny legs, forcing the journey to take longer than if he was at his regular size.
Tenna remembered the first time he had entered the lobby of the mansion. He had been so excited, the grand scope of the entire room was lost to him due to his growing height. Eventually his tour guide, Spamton, had to calm him down in order for the CRT to fit into the hallways.
Now with his size permanently shrunken, the TV host felt overwhelmed by everything towering over him. It was times like these when he wished his partner was still here to hold his hand and rub his palm with his glowing white thumb, telling him in a hushed voice that everything will be okay.
… Tenna immediately smacked his puppet head over that ridiculous thought. Enough daydreaming! Time to get serious!
He didn’t remember exactly where Queen resided, but knowing her, it would probably be at the very top of the mansion. For some reason, there were no elevators or escalators or any technologically advanced way in this technologically advanced world to traverse through the floors; just stairs. With Tenna’s pathetically short stature, it could take an entire day just to reach the top.
There are, however, rumors of shortcuts hidden around the mansion, but Tenna had never seen any for the short amount of times he’s visited. He never really cared to ask either at the time, since he was tall enough to walk around the entire building in a matter of minutes.
On the left side of where he was facing, away from the staircase was the Color Cafe. He recalled his old partner highly complimenting a head butler that happened to run the place; Swatch, if he remembered the name correctly. Surely they could help him locate Queen, as well as maybe escort him to her quickly.
Tenna went over to the entrance, and despite the door being unlocked, the place seemed to be closed. There was no music playing or darkners eating, and the chairs were all stacked on top of the tables. The only person inside was a single red swatchling sweeping the floor. She didn’t seem to notice him entering, as her back was completely turned and her ears were covered by headphones; possibly listening to music from the portable radio in her back pocket.
Hoping that his voice would cooperate this time, Tenna cleared his throat as he walked towards the servant, tugging on her coattail to bring her attention.
”H1! CAN I [speak to your manager]?”
The swatchling turned around and let out a high-pitched wail upon seeing him.
Well that’s rude! I’m not that hideous!
… Okay, maybe I am a bit.
But before Tenna could say anything, he was immediately struck repeatedly by the bristles of the swatchlings’ broom. As he poorly tried to shield himself with his hands, he could hear the servant calling desperately from her radio.
“I’m gonna need backup! I’ve found Spamton at the Color Cafe! Over!”
If not for the barrage of attacks striking his head, Tenna would’ve widened his now existing eyes at the assumption that he was Spamton. Is she just dumb enough to believe that this living parody looked exactly the same as Cyber City’s number one rated salesman?
Just then, a yellow swatchling bursts through the door and tightly grabs the puppet while locking his arms to his waist. “I caught him!” he assured the other swatchling while lifting Tenna above the floor. “Swatch will be here soon.”
If the TV host was in his real body by now, he would’ve grown to his full height and demanded these two to pay him some respect. But for now, he pathetically tried to squirm his way out of the servant’s iron grip in a desperate attempt to escape, only to make zero progress as the swatchlings awaited for their head butler.
“G-G-G-GET YUR [[pause]] OFF M3!!1” Tenna yelled, too furious to be aware of how much his voice was breaking. “I’M N0T [your old pal, Spamton G. ]!!1!”
His head started to flicker a mile a minute as he yelled, changing from big to small to big again. As terrifying as this felt for the TV star, neither of the swatchlings seemed to react to this, aside from the one holding him moving his arms further from his body to prevent impact.
“Oh, really?” the yellow one teased in a mocking tone. “Did ‘Mr. Big Shot’ forget to wear a disguise this time?”
“And I thought that ‘tasque disguise’ was your worst one, yet!” the red one chimed in with a laugh.
Tenna stopped struggling for a while as he tilted his head in confusion. Even if he was somehow Spamton (which he definitely was not!), why are the swatchlings treating him this way? The man practically lives here; why would he need a disguise?
“You again!?”
They all turned to the source of the sound marching towards them. The head butler, Swatch, didn’t look like the stoic gentle-darkner that Tenna remembered seeing last time. Instead, they looked beyond irritated and frazzled, as if they were greeted by their most hated enemy. ”It hasn’t even been an hour, and you’ve already broken in again!?” they spatted, snatching the puppet by the neck and bringing him up to their face.
“Hang on, boss.” the yellow swatchling lifted his hand while stifling a laugh. “He says he’s not Spamton.”
The TV host knew the servant was only teasing him, but maybe he could somehow prove to Swatch who he really was. “BELIEVE IT OR , I’M [[axe]]UALLY [Mr. (Ant) Tenna’s TV Time!!!].”
While Tenna was honestly impressed in how he managed to unintentionally recreate his intro, the others weren’t as easily amused. “Well, you can’t just claim you’re him without a disguise.” the yellow swatchling shook his head in disapproval. “What would Mr. Tenna think?”
“Yeah, you could’ve at least painted his face on a cardboard box or something.” the red swatchling added.
Swatch said nothing as they glared at the puppet and furrowed their brow even more. This was getting nowhere.
“BUT I AM [The King of Only]!!1 I C4N EVEN [do a little dance] 4 U! WwWatCH!!1!1” Tenna then proceeded to do his iconic ‘cabbage patch’ dance as best he could despite dangling by his neck from Swatch’s grasp. Surprisingly, no one was swayed by his moves.
“Big deal, anyone can do that.” the yellow swatchling scoffed as he crossed his arms.
Granted, doing ‘The Charleston’ would have been a lot more convincing, but with the condition he was in, what more could he do? …Perhaps improv, but not with this voice.
Swatch lets out an aggravated sigh. “First, you tarnish your own image with all this breaking and entering, and now you’re dragging your old friend’s name through the mud by pretending to be him?” they then planted their free hand in front of their face. “When will you learn that this ‘Neo’ body just isn’t worth all this self-destruction?”
Tenna just stared blankly as he slowly blinked, trying to process whatever they were talking about. “… WHAT THE [heh] IS A ‘NEO’?”
Swatch then lowered their hand from their face, revealing how irritated that question made them. “Get him out of my sight.” they sneered as they pushed the puppet back into the yellow swatchling’s hands.
As the yellow one securely carries the puppet out of the cafe, with the red one following beside him, Tenna frantically kicks his little feet in the air as he tries to push himself out of the servant’s clutches. “UR MAKING A [[Big]] [Miss Steak]1!!” he yelled in both anger and confusion. “I D0N’T EV3N L0oO0K L1KE [[Number 1 Rated Salesman1997]]!!1! JUST TELL ME WHAT’S- JUST TELL ME WHAT’S- JUST TELL ME WHAT’S- JUST TELL ME WHAT’S-”
Tenna forcefully snaps his jaw shut in order to end this unexpected loop. The red swatchling looked at him in concern, then back to her friend. “You think I might’ve hit him a bit too hard with my broom?” she asked in a worried tone. “He doesn’t seem to be acting right.”
“I wouldn’t worry about it.” the yellow one brushed off. “After all, he hasn’t been acting right in years.”
Before Tenna could ask what that meant, he was swiftly kicked out of the main entrance and landed harshly on the red carpet outside. He could hear the two swatchlings chatting about helping to clean up the cafe before closing the door.
Now with his long nose bent up and plastic limbs splayed all over like a discarded toy, Tenna tried to ponder over what any of that meant. If they believed so heavily that he was somehow Spamton, then why were they so willing to throw him out of his own home? What did the salesman do to them while he was gone?
The TV-turned-puppet slowly got up and started to brush himself off. Whatever the case, he was clearly not allowed in the mansion anymore. He’ll just have to figure this out on his own.