Chapter Text
No, haha, don't kill yourself, you're so sexy 😘
Checo
dont invite me into ur stuff ever again
i dont want any part of it
Franco
but u enjoyed padeling w us!
Checo
i would have enjoyed padel if it were actually padel
and not some weird mating ritual
Lando
ooooh is this? tea?
Oscar
what happened checo
Checo
hell happened
Gabi
thats an overreaction
ollie isnt this an overreaction?
Bearboy
yes very much
checo u loved playing w us! u said so
Checo
so we r not going to address the elephant in the room?
Lando
there ws an elephant?
pls address it checo im shaking w antipation
Checo
when i saw max charles and liam drive thru the city i called max to see whats up
its not weird to see charles w him but its different when liam is involved
Oscar
understandable
i too would be afraid if i were to accompany the inchident duo
Checo
exactly!
anyway max said they were going to the padel court
so i said i wanna come with
so they picked me up too
Lando
im assuming smthg happened at padel
Arvid (evil)
checo can u not
Checo
oh im sorry
am i hurting ur feelings by spilling ur trash in the suicide grp chat?
Arvid (evil)
????
YES
Checo
well u should have thought of that before u caused me this trauma
Arvid (evil)
fyi no one asked u to come to padel w us
Oscar
Ok im sensing smthg terrible happened @court
Gabi
its literally nothing grandpa is just grumby
Checo
gabriel i will kill u
Gabi
u love me too much tho <3
Lando
can anyone pls pls pls explain what actually happened
did lestappen do smthg
did arv do smthg
did someone do smthg
Arvid (evil)
why r u assuming i did smthg
Lando
becoz checo said he has some trash on u?
Arvid (evil)
ah yeah valid assumption mb
Lando
so?
Arvid (evil)
so?
Lando
bitch what the fuck happened
Bearboy
ok i will spill the beans since no one else will
Arvid (evil)
no one is spilling anything
SHUT THE FUCK UP OLIVER
Franc Ocean
dont yell at ollie like that
Gabi
yeah only i get to yell at ollie like that
Bearboy
thx for defending me guys ilysm <3
Franc Ocean
😘🥰🥹🥰🥰❤️😘💝🌸
Gabi
why the flower
Franc Ocean
its the cherry blossom
im apologising to olibear for japan
Bearboy
oh i actually forgot abt japan
im still mad at u
Franc Ocean
no ur not 💖😍
Gabi
no ur not
Lando
can we get back to arvid?
i dont want anymore of,,, that
Checo
basically charles pulled isack aside to advice him on why he shouldnt beat arvid up
and max pulled arvid aside to advice him on why he shouldnt ragebait isack
liam went to get ice cream for gabi
so i was stuck with franco, gabi and ollie
Oscar
yeah that sounds like hell
Bearboy
we were a delight actually
Oscar
sounds improbable
Checo
no hes right
the three were marginally better than redbull kids
Arvid (evil)
i literally did NOTHING
Checo
sure u didnt
Lando
thats enough foreplay
SOMEONE TELL SOMETHING
Arvid (evil)
ykw i will tell u what happened
freaking max told me to give up on liam coz liam will never love me back
so i got ANGRY
and angry me is unhinged
so i ran to the other end of the court to punch isack
except i didnt punch isack
coz isack dodged it
so i accidentally hit charles
Lando
OH
Oscar
OH
George
Oh
Lando
brother u were online too??
George
I was planning on ignoring the messages, but damn, Arvid.
Checo
its gonna get worse mate
George
Seriously??!
Arvid (evil)
urgh
i hate u all
anyway i accidentally punched charles yeah?
so max kinda
uhm
he kinda went all gorilla man on me
Lando
tf is gorilla man
Oscar
i think he meant godzilla
George
Did Max lash out with unnecessary anger and borderline violence?
Arvid (evil)
well its not necessarily 'unnecessary' anger
i DID hit the love of his life
on his beautiful face too
Bearboy
i love that u r owning to it
Arvid (evil)
yeah well im better than isack
do u notice how he is here to confess to his crimes?
yeah me neither
Oscar
what did isack do
Arvid (evil)
well after max lectured me on how i shouldnt punch charles he left w charles to the icecream parlour
its still traumatising tbh
i have never seen max so protective over anyone/anything
anyway then isack punched me for punching charles
and then we kinda fought
Lando
and what was checo, ollie, francocean, gabi, and liam doing while this happened?
Gabi
liam followed inchident duo coz he said, and i quote, 'fuck this shit'
Bearboy
i was grateful to be the fly on the wall
Franc Ocean
besides the four of us were playing padel
we didnt have time to stop the two idiots
also we wanted to see who would win
Oscar
who won?
Gabi
jurys still out
anyway arv and isack are forever uninvited from padel w max and charles
and they are grounded indefinitely from the redbull minifridge
Oscar
hm could be worse
Lando
this is not as bad as i thought it would be
George
Arvid literally punched Charles
Lando
yes and im sure he regrets it
but i dont think checo needs to overreact this much
its bruce vii all over again
Checo
hows bruce 8 doing btw
Oscar
oh he passed away within thirty minutes
Lando
OSCAR I THOUGHT WE AGREED TO NEVER TALK ABT IT
Checo
and whos overreacting now?
Oscar
still u
Checo
well u wouldnt be saying the same if u had to share a car with charles and max post-padel
George
Oh no. Checo, are you quite alright?
Checo
it could be worse
i could have seen them having sex like i did in las vegas before
atleast i didnt see max's white butt today
Lando
it was that bad?
Checo
like i said
it could be worse
Max Dadstappen3
hello everyone
Checo
...
can u leave
Max Dadstappen3
?? no why would i
Checo
im traumatised
can i leave?
Max Dadstappen3
u can mute the chat if u want
why are u traumatised, checo? did smthg happen at cadillac?
is it abt the bottas rumours?
should i add him into the grp too?
Lando
alexa play 'Anti-Hero' by Taylor Swift
George
Alex is not on this group, Lando.
Lando
...
max delete this clown
Checo
im gonna mute myself for 8 hours
see u guys later
Gabi
bye grandpa!!!
Bearboy
bye checo cula
Franc Ocean
did u just call the great sergio checo perez CULO????!??
ur mums culo
Gabi
i dont think ollie knows what culo means
Bearboy
i said cula
'see you later alligator' = cula
whats culo
Franc Ocean
oh
Gabi
it means butt/ass/etc
Franc Ocean
i feel bad abt calling ur mum culo
Bearboy
its fine
ur mamas culo too <3
we are even now
Franc Ocean
yay!!! 🥰🥹
Bearboy
still not forgiving u for japan tho
Gabi
ye that adds up
Max Dadstappen3
can we all focus on my thing?
is everyone besides checo online
George
I don't think so, no. Why?
Max Dadstappen3
had an announcement to make
George
Does this perhaps have anything to do with Arvid and Charles?
Max Dadstappen3
...why do u know abt that
Bearboy
u might wanna scrolllll
Gabi
checo spilled the tea
or rather
arv spilled the tea due to peer pressure from lando
Lando
i want no hand in this crime
also is charles alright?
is his beautiful face still beautiful?
Max Dadstappen3
hes fine
hes a bit shaken up, but hes fine
Oscar
thats good to hear
Max Dadstappen3
its just that he wants to join the suicide prevention group chat now
Bearboy
CHARLES IS JPONGRFLKCDHUGJNVFCIFC
Oscar
huh?
Franc Ocean
'CHARLES IS JOININGTRNCTUIVTVIFKCOITKVFCBTIRVFK'
Oscar
thx for the translation franco 👍
Lando
whys charlies joning
Max Dadstappen3
coz he wants to make sure isack doesnt kill arvid before charles kills him
Lando
understandabWHATTHEFYCK DO YOU MEAN
Oscar
valid reaction from lando
max what the fuck
Max Dadstappen3
suicide prevention grp is also murder prevention grp
im the admin so deal w it
Oscar
dont u remember what happened the last time u added charles into this grp?
Bearboy
wdym papa has literally never been on this grp
George
Did u just call Charles Papa unironically?
Lando
george what universe r u living on
George
Earth, why?
Oscar
ollie charles has been in this grp before
u joined this yr thats why u dont know
George
Is anyone going to answer my question?
Lando
MAX REMOVE GEORGE
ALSO MAX DONT ADD CHARLES ITS A HEALTH HAZARD
Franc Ocean
what did charles do the last time?
Oscar
the great lestappen dictatorship circa 2024 happened
we dont want a sequel of that
Max Dadstappen3
u will be happy to know that his motive is murder this time around
Lando
arv this is all ur fault
Arvid (evil)
ITS NOT MY FAULT THAT CHARLES CANT DODGE A PUNCH
Max Dadstappen3
excuse me?
Bearboy
arvid darling that was the wrong thing to say
Arvid (evil)
yeah i can see that
Max Dadstappen3
everyone welcome charles into the grp
Lando
max u might wanna rethink this decision
think abt what happened in 2024
think abt the KIDS
Gabi
there are kids???!?
Bearboy
does papa and dad have other kids???
Charles has joined the group via invitation
Franc Ocean
absolute betrayal
Lando
all of u stfu
max pls dont add that twink into the grp
Oscar
easy lando
Lando
WE CANT JUST FORGET 2024
i wont be subjected to charles n his stupid ass fuckall rules
i will literally bite u if u add him max
Charles
....
Lando
oh
heyyyyy charlie! fancy seeing u here
Charles
sure it is