Chapter Text
The mirror in front of Odysseus rippled like water. Maybe it was water. He wasn’t sure. The room around him was dark, maybe just undeveloped.
He was staring at himself. Or Hermes? Himself…
He wasn’t sure what he was looking at truly.
Both his own and Hermes’ form stared back at him, where the water curved forward acting almost like dividers. The fragments stared back in an almost checkered pattern, never touching another of its own. It was like looking in a shattered mirror almost, but that mirror showed two people in each shard. But he was alone.
Too alone.
He felt the wings on his back itch at the base, unfamiliar. They were uncomfortable. He scratched them, and scratched, and scratched. He felt a liquid warmth bubble beneath his fingers, he wanted these gone. It took only moments before the wings behind his ears began to itch as well, then his ankles. He didn’t have enough hands for this, it burned. He scratched, and scratched, blood dripped onto the floor as he began to pull.
These wings weren’t his. They didn’t belong on his body. They needed off. He needed them off.. Offf..
“Odysseus?!” A voice called from behind him, light and familiar, followed by the sound of a baby's cry.
He turned around, blood whipping around him and splattering over the ground. His wife stood just as he remembered her, holding his child.
“Pen…” He whispered, reaching out, desperate to feel his wife's skin against his own. But as he made contact she flinched away, holding the child protectively.
“Captain?” The voice of Polities rang out next, causing the man to turn away. His breathing picked up, staring at his friend. He wasn’t dead, he stood there as he did before they even began the voyage. He had that sweet smile on his face but it was almost.. Blurry.
He could make out some features, but they didn’t seem exactly right. What color were his eyes? What shape was his nose..? He looked back at Penelope, the same issue.. Telemachus didn’t even have a tangible face.
Then his mother was calling him, then the voices of hundreds of dead men, all desperate to find him. He collapses to his knees, covering his ears as his eyes squeeze shut. The voices permeated through the cover. He could feel hands grabbing him “Where’s Odysseus?!” they’d cry, the man unable to find the words to say he was right there.
Then suddenly he was grabbed by a large hand as thunder began to roar. His eyes shoot open as his gaze lands upon the god of the sky, the only face so far that wasn’t obscured.
He was shaking him back and forth, over and over. He squirmed. His wings itched, the voices screamed his name and wouldn’t stop. All he could hear were screams, they were louder than his own breathing as he hyperventilated.
His eyes snap open suddenly.
He sat up, looking around, only to jump as he saw his own face about 2 inches away.
“You were dreaming,” Hermes pointed out. “You’re sweating. Was it a nightmare? I didn’t realize I could get those.”
Odysseus stared back at the god. His eyes were still sore from crying as hard as he did.
The similar strange feeling took over him once again, tears welling in his eyes as he launched his arms around the others in a tight embrace. Tears well in his eyes once more, but this time was quiet. He didn’t sob, or scream, or beg. He heaved softly with silent sobs, sniffling and whimpering.
“Oh- uhm-“ Hermes paused, staring at the human for a moment.
Then slowly, he placed his hands on Odysseus’ lower back, not reacting as the man's wings came to wrap around the both of them.
“…I don’t understand why you’re so worked up about this.” Hermes mumbled, rubbing the others back in gentle circles. “You’re immortal. You’re gonna be okay no matter what. I-..”
Hermes paused, his repressed horror slowly creeping into his voice. “…I can die at any time. I don’t heal like I should... I should be the one crying.”
Odysseus was still for a moment.
“Is that why you’ve been so…” The human paused. He didn’t want to call the god useless. He wasn’t useless exactly. He had been of some aid.
“You’re scared.” He decided. “You’re scared of dying.”
Hermes was silent.
“...It’s a lot harder than you probably think it is.” Odysseus offered softly, “I was never exactly weak.”
Hermes nodded softly. “It’s just-” he paused, “I know humans are fragile. But I don’t know how fragile.. I’ve killed mortals unintentionally before, what if I do that to myself? Gods shouldn’t be able to die at all, this is horrifying.”
His voice was hesitant with the weight of being vulnerable. It lost the normal elegant bravado it typically held, and the wings that still sprouted from his back drooped.
“A-And my uncle and my father are trying to kill me- and everyone else probably is by now too…” The god was shaking. Maybe this was repressed fear finally breaking through. Maybe he was only now truly processing what was happening. Did it really matter? Odysseus didn’t think so. “And what if they do kill me not knowing I’m.. me?! They’ll surely be furious with you and- this is such a mess!”
“I know.” Odysseus whispered, rubbing circles into the gods back softly. “I know.”
“...Captian?”
A sudden voice rang out from behind the mortal, causing both to jolt back, knocking into each other's wings. Odysseus turned, eyes widening with a slight burn in his face as he found his gaze landing upon none other than Eurylochus.
“What… What does all that mean?” He asked, taking a slight step back. He didn’t even look at Odysseus, eyes baring into Hermes who refused to meet his gaze. “Do you mean to imply you’re a god? You were a-”
The man trailed off as a feeling similar to ice pierced through his entire being. He felt almost nauseous as he looked at the two.
And suddenly it all made sense.
His "captain" not knowing who Eurylochus or himself was. The strange demeanor. The sudden sprouting of wings. Why he and all the others were immediately brushed off upon attempting to question the appendages. The way he was brushed off trying to question anything.
He wasn’t sure why it upset him so much.
Why it made him feel so unbearably sick, why it made the already cold air become freezing. Maybe it was simply the fact it was a lie. Maybe it was a deep concern for his friend bubbling up once again. Maybe he was angry. He couldn’t tell you.
“You..” He managed to whisper.
“Eurylochus-” Odysseus attempted to soothe, only to be silenced with a harsh cry of “Shut up!”
The man began to pace, grinding his teeth as he attempted to grapple with the reality he had been unknowingly living for.. How long now?
“I didn’t want you to worry,” Odysseus tried again.
“Worry?!” Eurylochus barked out. “I was worried! I was horrified! I thought I’d- that you’d-” He struggled to convert his thoughts to shapes his tongue could make, vibrations his throat could produce. “I thought I’d given you brain damage!!”
The other men sleeping around them only then began to stir. They stared for a moment, those who’d awoken earlier (or hadn't been asleep in the first place) turning shocked gazes to the two.
“Why would you lie about this?!” He demanded.
And Odysseus looked down.
“I think…” Hermes began. “...We should give you time. To think about things.” His voice was shaking.
Eurylochus swallowed thickly, taking a deep breath as he leaned against the wall. “I think that’s a good idea.”
The two nodded slowly.
Then left the group to their devices within the room
The hallways were spacious as the two wandered around, silent. The Gods ruling over the underworld were kind enough to allow them to reside in the palace for a few days instead of forcing them to fend for themselves in the open.
The only sound for a while was their shoes clicking against the tile floors.
“So…” Hermes began awkwardly. “...Wanna go see the rest of the underworld?” He asked.
Odysseus perked up a bit.
“You might not get another chance to see it?”
The man sighed softly, then nodded. “We have nothing better to do…”
☆---☆
The underworld had gotten no less bleak in the few hours they’d gone without seeing it. Not that either of them had expected it to.
Either way, Hermes showed Odysseus around like a child excited to show a parent something fun they found. Though, the latter supposed that was likely due to the fact a mortal walking around in the underworld without a divine chaperone was a death sentence. He didn’t care much for the reason.
He didn’t care much for anything he’s being shown in fact. His mind remained tied up elsewhere, the looks of confusion and betrayal on his comrades faces, the horror on his brother-in-law's face as he realized the gravity of the lie. The man had been furious, confused, hurt. It was all written so plainly on his face.
Does he hate him now? Probably. His chest tightens as he considers the possibility of a mutiny against Hermes. Maybe he would’ve spiralled at the consideration, however a sort of numbness seemed to calm him.
Maybe not calm him exactly.
It wasn’t until an oversized snout bumped his hand that he was startled out of his thoughts. He looked to the left head of none other than Cerbrus, who met his gaze expectantly. Odysseus briefly allowed his gaze to wander over to the other two heads, both being sufficiently pet by Hermes.
“He’s a real sweet dog if you’re not being an idiot,” Hermes commented, Odysseus allowing his hand to find the gods left head, giving it a few gentle strokes. He thought of his own dog for a moment, Argos. He wondered how the poor thing was doing. Was it dead by now? Perhaps. He hoped not. “Thing is spoiled absolutely rotten…”
Odysseus nodded, scratching the behemoth of a creature behind the ears and earning a satisfied huff.
“See?”
Odysseus’ head snapped in the direction her perceived the voice to have come from so hard it made Hermes jump.
“...This life is amazing,”
He pulled his hand away, looking around and beginning to wander.
“Odysseus, where are you going?” Hermes asked, the heads they had been petting all whining just a bit before lying down.
“When you greet it with open arms…”
His pace picked up, forcing Hermes to burst into a slight jog to keep up with him. “Don’t leave me…”
Odysseus’ head turned frantically, a whimper tearing from his throat. “Polites?”
“Whatever we face…”
The voice was practically echoing against the bones of his skull as his breathing picked up.
“We'll be fine if we're leading from the heart…”
“You’re hearing someone?” Hermes asked, grabbing the man's arm only to be absentmindedly pushed away. “You don’t know where you’re going- please-”
“No matter the place…”
Then he saw him.
It didn’t occur to him the logistics of how his spirit had come out this far, just as it never occurred to the author.
A semi transparent blue figure stood only a few feet from him.
“we can light up the world…”
The figure didn’t move it’s lips as it spoke, Odysseus slowly, slowly creeping up to him as tears welled in his eyes. Did he recognize him? How? The figure's eyes were laser focused on him.
“Here's how to start.”
The figure opened its arms.
And Odysseus rushed to hug him, sniffling and ignoring the confused statement from his other companion.
“Greet the world with open arms.”
“...Greet the world with open arms.”